| Author | Message | ||
     Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2669 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Our MANY talks about the criteria of Black beauty have urged me to recall a related anecdote. A couple of Christmas’ ago, I had an in-depth debate with female kin regarding Black women’s all-abiding obsession with their hair. Basically, I said Black women spend WAY too much time, effort and money styling their hair and that that has repercussions on their lives that transcend issues of beauty; including financial distress, +100’s hours per year in unproductive salon and personal styling time, stressful manipulation from mates, peers, advertisers, stylists, etc. Their rebuts consisted of the following: @ “That’s just the way things are.” @ “It’s expensive to look good.” @ “That’s how (you) Black men, other Black women and all of society want us to look.” @ “I don’t look right if my hair ain’t pressed, permed, colored, etc.” @ "Companies won’t hire/retain you if you don’t style yourself a certain way." @ “I’ve tried natural hair but I got tired of the strange looks." @ And "The foks in those natural hair cliques are fanatical NUTS!” My responses were akin to those often expressed here (most prominently by Kola): I said, “You’re all being compelled to think/act that way via how you’re socialized.” “The greedy make-up and hair care companies and stylists are selling you ‘swamp land’; Essentially, you’re overpaying for something that does NOT provide any real return.” “You’re trying in vain to effect a White image that you can never hope to achieve.” “And that if MOST Black women tossed the relaxers, lye’s and straightening combs; maybe they could begin to style themselves in more natural ways. Maybe they could then learn to fashion a more beautiful and economic persona and be much less stressed about their appearance. Moreover, by doing such collectively you could compel Black men and everyone else to begin to see/appreciate your real beauty.” They hardly seem to hear a word I said. And those they did hear they appeared to laugh at. The conversation descended into consternation and quips about Afro’s, nappy/frizzy hair, etc. And it began to get accusatory and argumentative. So I dropped it. Later I thought, if THIS is how women whom I share mutual love and respect for will respond to my views on this issue, I shudder to think how those whom I’m not as closely involved with would reply. I posted this because I believe the hair issue is nearly as potent a component of the issues we often discussion/debate as the skin color. Yet we don’t mention hair nearly as much. How do you feel about this? Do you agree the hair thing must be reconciled? If so, how do you propose we do that? PS: The thing I remain most struck by is the pain in the faces of my kin as we talked. Admittedly, I did NOT adequately appreciate then just how profoundly Black women are affected by the hair issue. Perhaps if I had, maybe we would have had a more productive discussion. | ||
| Libralind2 Veteran Poster Username: Libralind2 Post Number: 73 Registered: 09-2004 Rating: N/A |
Two years ago March, I cut all my hair off to free myself from relaxers etc and because I was thining in the temple area. I am sick I EVER used relaxer. At the time I started with relaxers, I thought I always wanted my hair to be straight. The straighter...the better. Then men always told me how "cute I looked" the bastards..LOL Self esteem is a bitch. Anywho to your point, I have many if not more comments not to be confused with compliments about my "dreads" as I dont know what else to call them. I didnt have them done professionally but they evolved from me twisting. I am quite comfortable with the way my hair looks and sorry it took me this long to get here. I also want to add I was also in trouble because of my hair. The comments like "you must be Indian" or "I wish I had your hair" or the girl who I had to fight in school because she pulled my hair. It is important to me that I am not confused in who I am and that is a Black woman FINALLY proud of her hair as it is. LiLi | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 840 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM: I posted this because I believe the hair issue is nearly as potent a component of the issues we often discussion/debate as the skin color. Yet we don’t mention hair nearly as much. KOLA: You're completely right. _____________ ABM: How do you feel about this? Do you agree the hair thing must be reconciled? If so, how do you propose we do that? KOLA: Your actions that christmas, as a black male, were a MONUMENTAL START................and as you have just now pointed out............one of the biggest culprits of our self-hatred, one of the main ORIGINS/nurturing of our self-hatred.............is the BLACK WOMAN herself, the very person who is usually the object of most of the rejection, blame for our blackness.........and because she is the one BLAMED for all of us "being black", she is the one who often GUARDS against blackness and feeds and instigates these pathologies. As you've noticed in my own work, I often show subtle ways in which black women do this (for instance, do you recall Sula Jones's very dark skinned but sweet mother-in-law in "Flesh"?? Do recall the lawyer who banged Rosaria on the desk and explained what HIS DARK MOTHER told him about black women??? And, of course, glaring portraits of Shane's mother, of Soraya and of "part black" Rosaria and Gerta Maria themselves exemplified this attitude that black women themselves harbor AGAINST blackness. Only in the last 20 years, ABM, as it is becoming clearer and clearer to black women that this MONSTER really does exist.....are more and more black women attempting to adopt measures with which to STOP and COMBAT the problem. (Look at women like Lili and the bold steps they're taking). Because the society ALLOWS/ENCOURAGES....."Light Skinned" women....to have a higher self-esteem, self-worth, they are usually the ones, in my opinion, who are either the MOST PASSIONATE about "Changing" and "Eradicating" these Self-hating Pathologies......OR.......they are the ones in the greatest Denial and most FEARFUL of changing the Pathology---because they realize that they would become a kind of "Imitation" Status if Black People truly embraced Blackness in the way that Whites embrace Whiteness. They know better than anyone on both sides----the POWER they command in the community because of White Supremacist Values, and naturally, they are eager to maintain what little POWER they have----OR---as I said, there are MANY who are the MOST PASSIONATE about doing something to stop this behavior. There is a GROWING rebuttal, however, ABM.....by the invisible Dark Skinned mothers.......all of a sudden, you will notice Profane Exploration and Denouncement of "Colorism" in the work of very influential artists like Lauryn Hill, INDIA ARIE, Jill Scott, outspoken actresses like Angela Bassett, N'Bushe Wright, the girl from "The Practice", unapologetic and confrontational writers like Kola Boof and Marita Golden, models like Alek Wek and Iman who are very outspoken against "colorism". NOTICE...these are ALL Dark Skinned "Mothers", most of whom have SONS----and in these circles, the issue is treated as a TOP 3 PRIORITY--"publicly"---which is a major change from the way it was "lightly mentioned" in the past by women like Gwendolyn Brooks, Alice Walker and even Nina Simone (who you would have thought would have been more vocal about it---but back in the day, you just didn't dare make "light folks" feel uncomfortable). So in the future, I have no doubt that there will be a movement of some sort, even if it starts very small.....in which something similar to what happened in MORRISON's novel "Paradise" may come into being. We've certainly had ALL CREOLE churches, clubs and towns before----but never had such organization by "dark skinned" blacks, and that is likely to change as the more "authentic" blacks realize that no one VALUES their existence in their complete state. The TRAGIC thing, of course, is that we may not be able to save the Black Americans from annihilation---and more than likely, the "color separations" are eventually going to become WIDER, especially as the NUMBER of mixed, biracial people grows--as it did in Africa until their numbers were so great that...the TRUTH slipped out. And although I do think that Africa and the Carribean are so "concentrated" and "potently cultural" with Blackness that they will actually LEARN FROM AMERICA and brace themselves to escape being bastardized, weakened and watered down, it will stand as a cruel example of what can happen when the symptons of the disease of "RACISM" are allowed to go too long unchecked. In the 1960's, the Black Americans were the STRONGEST, most ADMIRED, RESPECTED and BELOVED "African People" on the planet....so their death/mutation will definitely become a WORLD SYMBOL of Tragedy....just as Michael Jackson has become a World Symbol of Tragedy for ALL Black people. When we think of him as a handsome, brilliant, enigmatic young boy-----and then look at him now------our hearts wring with sadness, both in Africa and in the U.S. And this could be the end result with the Black Americans, since so many of them see this as a "NATURAL ORDER..NATURAL PROCESS". One thing is certain... Upon reaching that Nigger Heaven of "good hair" and "light brite skin"------the collective depression and mental displacement of Black Americans is going to be even greater, even more diabolical and unnervingly painful....than the malaise they've suffered so far......and the White Woman is going to be literally Crucified as "The Blame" for their feelings of displacement, Root-less-ness and general SHAME about how they came into being. Of course, in desperation to retain their "Authentic Nigger" status---they will collectively turn against the Black Man, their father, just as they're doing right now. The "benefits" of lightskinned-ness decrease once most EVERYBODY's got the light......and the promise of "natural order" that people like Cynique espouse will begin to show for what it really is. Being "Duped" out of ones own soul. ______________ ABM: The thing I remain most struck by is the pain in the faces of my kin as we talked. Admittedly, I did NOT adequately appreciate then just how profoundly Black women are affected by the hair issue. Perhaps if I had, maybe we would have had a more productive discussion. KOLA: The pain you saw was tinged with "shame" and "guilt". So I doubt you would have had too much more of a productive talk. WOMEN go into deep denial about the abuse they inflict on themselves, their children and each other through color/hair issues. They also feel that their inferiority is being HIGHLIGHTED, and are 3 Times as much in denial when a Black Male points out their inability to accept themselves. Of course, the worst truth is.....is that they have no way of TRUSTING a black man. Black men, in truth, are the ones who do not blackness in their daughters, don't praise it, don't CHOOSe it, don't cherish it....therefore, your penance that one rare time was almost perceived as a "Trick Attack". Black women in America---I know in my heart----do not feel Loved, Cherished, Wanted or Accepted by Black Men. And THAT is the because BLACK MEN do not love, cherish, want or accept them. And thus.....the so called animosity between the two is a chasm that breaks and breaks. It all comes from Slavery the removal of ones natural "culture". ALL OF IT. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
On and on they go, Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum aka as ABM and Kola, always there to chastise and condemn people who don' fall in line with the standards that they, themselves, don't even half follow. A woman's hair is her crowning glory. Hair is also something that can be used to make a statement. The way any woman wears her hair is her way of saying I am the queen of my dome, if you don't like my crown, or lack of it, it's too friggin bad. During the 60s I sported a huge Afro. Now, I no longer feel the need to carry around a large head of hair. I am also too cheap to pay out a lot of money to have my mane made manageable, so for convenience I keep it much shorter and when I wash it, I do nothing else to this nest of tangles except have my daughter bumper curl it. Dat's the way I like it, and all the pursed-lipped lecturing about "why-who-does-what" is bouncing off my golden brown ringlets. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Incidentally, black woman who wear their hair natural nowadays are not discriminated against. Wild spiky hair is considered very fashionable. And dread locks remain acceptable. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 842 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: |
Cynique said: A woman's hair is her crowning glory. _______ KOLA: But that's a completely European concept and value. It's a FACT that every African culture--including ancient Egypt---considered a "bald" head on a female to be the epitome of femininity and elite social standing. ALL Egyptian women of the dynastic periods wore their heads SHAVED and covered with elaborate WIGS---(a) the shaved head denoting femininity/Social standing and (b) the WIG protecting them from Sand Mites (all males also wore wigs). Nefertiti, Cleopatra, Queen Sheba, Nzingha-----virtually ALL of the African Queens and Highest Wives were BALDHEADED. Especially the Cushite and Nubian Queens and Wives. Only the lower class women in African societies....had long puffy thick hair. They wore it "BRAIDED" in thousands of different styles, as the "braid" elevated them to "Middle Class Standing".....with the wild, bush-haired jungle women being consider lower class. The ideal of "long hair" on a female or a woman's HAIR being her "crowning glory" is a totally EUROPEAN CONCEPT....brought here from EUROPE. So just that one statement, Great Mother, proves exactly what we're saying. And that is...that in many ways, without knowing it, you (like most of us) are a kind of overseer who REINFORCES the standards of our master----totally ignoring that our GENETIC makeup does not go along with the standards of the "master". Our hair was not meant to be straight, long and flowing, OBVIOUSLY. And yet, this is imposed on us by European concepts like, "A woman's hair is her crowning glory." I think a woman's BRAIN is her growning glory. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 843 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Great Mother, thank you for using that concept, however--- ----because now I can have the characters in my new novel have this discussion after one of the characters posits that "A woman's hair is her crowning glory". I hadn't even thought about chopping that sucker down. THANKS | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: |
To shave your hair or even cut it, is to tamper with its natural state. So Ancient African women by shaving their hair are "guilty" of what African American ones are when they perm or straighten their hair. So what if Cleopatra had a shorn skull. After all, she and a lot of other ancient queens married their brothers. The bottom line is that wearing the latest style of the day has always been important to all women down through the ages. And styles change. | ||
| Slow Poke Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Great point Cynique. I like Kola sometimes, but on these matter she get on my nerves. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Whatcha doin up this late, Slowpoke? You must be a night owl like me. I'm getting ready to try and finish up this book I've been reading. It's a biography of Alice Walker. She attended Spelman college back in the 60s and your daughter should be glad how much that college has changed. Back then, the coeds were treated like inmates who couldn't be trusted and who could even be expelled for not attending chapel every day. Its conservative Administration even frowned upon Spelman girls participating in the civil rights movment. How times have changed... Nighty-Night. | ||
| Slow Poke Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Hey Cynique! LOL. Not surprised about Spelman. I was over playing SPADES at Games.Com Nighty-night to you too. | ||
| Chrishayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 1138 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Now see here, Cynique! You're going a little too far! | ||
| Crystal Unregistered guest Rating: |
I went natural 15 years ago because I was tired of spending time [lazy] and money [cheap] on my hair. Natural is just easier for me. I pull out the clippers every couple of weeks and run it through my hair to keep it under control. Daily I rub in a little of whatever stuff I’ve purchased at the local grocery/drug store, fork and go. In all this time I’ve never heard a negative comment about my hair - except from my dad: “about time for a hair cut isn’t it?” My son has suggested I color it for the last couple of years but I don’t see the need. As a womon says: it is what it is. I have noticed more women my age and older going natural. I think that after years and years of chemicals and heat we’re just tired and figure if folks can’t accept us as we are then the hell with them. I frequent a natural hair message board [nappturality.com] and a lot of the young women there have given up the lye of the creamy crack for cultural reasons. They’re realizing that they should not HAVE to perm their hair to be accepted. Almost all of them say they will NEVER go back to perming again – we’ll see. | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 403 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hair matters. I like Lisa Jones' Bulletproof Diva: Tales of Race, Sex, and Hair. Her mother's book, How I Became Hettie Jones, her memoir chronicling her life with Amiri Baraka (ne LeRoi Jones), is a interesting read too. I was asked to profile a white Jewish author and mother of an adopted black child, and later to review her book about race, family, and adoption. My first thought was, "It will all turn on hair. She better have a chapter on hair." And she did. A good one, too. After getting a Kiddie Kit (kiddie relaxer) at age 5 and having worn almost every style there is since then, including short/near bald, I've now settled comfortably into locks which are dyed brown. I style my oldest child's hair in double strand twists. And if I can wrestle my little one down, she gets a tiny puff-tail or two, or a few cornrows. Otherwise, she wears a li'l 'fro. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 847 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
God Mahoghany!!! I bet your daughter's gorgeous!!! I love little black girls with fro's (Clearing throat) Now look. I'm raising some REALLY FINE boys---I mean "respectful", "intelligent", "caring" and "cherishing" of black girls. They will be very Financially Secure because of their father, and because of property they own. So you and I should keep in good touch. Because we never know down the line, when we may need to arrange a little MOTHERLY INTERVENTION. This is why I want ABM, DESTINED and I to be friends. It's important for Black families to know each other and have their kids know each other. Good things can come out of it. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 849 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
That's true, Cynique about me not "Half-following" my own rules.....because my hair has never been LOCKED (although, I've worn lock wigs for photos). I have MOSTLY had my hair straightened and flowing and bumped into glossy curls---because that's how my AA family raised me, starting on my IMMEDIATE Arrival here. But in the last 6 years, I HAVE made a conscious decision to wear ONLY braids or "lock" wigs.....and although it's hard not to do the Barbi thing sometimes, I definitely feel it's important for me to present an alternative image for black women. Once black women ESTABLISH their own standards---it will automatically begin to change much of the problem we have with identification. SONS "love"...what their mothers love. So it will take time, but I'm very inspired by Mahoghany and Crystal's posts. | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 405 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Kola, I am all for arranged marriages!!!! Your sons sound like little gentlemen. I will send you my latest Ofoto/Kodak gallery album privately. I'm in the process of putting together a picture package for my youngest daughter's birth parents. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2674 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Ladies (‘cept Cynique...hehe!), Congrats to you for shirking the relaxers. And I pray that you inspire sistahs around you to follow suit. I find myself becoming more attracted to women who’ve done what you’ve chosen to do. And I don’t think it’s just a political thing either. It’s more an involuntary response to beholding more REAL, unadulterated Black female beauty. What’s that great En Vogue lyric: “Free your mind, and the rest will follow.” To that and to you I declare... BRAVO! Kola, I don’t intend to BLAME my kin and Black women as a whole for their responses than I do my own self for having been a part of reinforcing the Eurocentric status quo. I agree, though, “denial” - as typified above by “Mother” Cynique - seems a potent element here. As you’d predict my later attempts to reignite this discussion with them have been summarily rebuffed. (“[ABM]! You needtah stay outtah my ‘kitchen’! OKAY?!”). It’s akin to why our community is losing ground to HIV; we can’t remedy the problem because we hardly want to acknowledge it even exists. But your “Being ‘Duped’ out of ones own soul.” essay provokes me to recount something you may appreciate: My wife is aware of several instances where Black men apparently abandoned their White wives because the men couldn’t bear having children who did not look Black. The men lamented that by having biracial children they’d ‘ruined’ their bloodline. And in those instances the men even went as far to remarry and have children with very BLACK women, presumably, to reconcile their prior hereditary ‘error’. I don’t know how true or prevalent this is amongst brothahs who interracially marry. But it seems it may be an issue worth exploration...and dissemination. ‘Course. It’s possible those men really sought more to rid themselves of the women and used their children’s skin color as a convenient excuse. Because maybe the men discovered that having a White woman isn’t as ‘wondrous’ an experience as they may have once deluded themselves into believing. Cynique...Cynique...CYNIQUE! Golly! I wish I had met you during your freewheeling, Afro-dealing days. ‘Cause then you must have been cuter than a High Yella baby doll and ‘easier’ than second grade arithmetic. __________________ Cynique: “...black woman who wear their hair natural nowadays are not discriminated against. Wild spiky hair is considered very fashionable. And dread locks remain acceptable.” If you would provide a scintilla of evidence that, say, 20% of AA women have completely abandoned the straighteners, Korean/synthetic hair, lye’s, perms and laborious processing to adopt the styles you cite; I might consider that a worthy rebut. The FACTS, however, bear otherwise. Sistah's who wear natural hairstyles are STILL roundly criticized and chided by employers, peers and family. The aforementioned issue concerning the Howard cheerleaders is a glaring example of such. And if something of that nature could happen at one of the nation’s foremost Historically Black Colleges, it sure as tootin’ can/do occur all over. __________________ Cynique: “To shave your hair or even cut it, is to tamper with its natural state. So Ancient African women by shaving their hair are "guilty" of what African American ones are when they perm or straighten their hair.” Now THAT is some spurious logic you’re applying. I’d support sistahs adopting “MORE natural ways” of hairstyling. And I consider cutting/shaving one’s hair to be profoundly more “natural” than applying deadly lye’s to it then baking and frying it. Most sensible people would concur. __________________ Cynique: “...A woman's hair is her crowning glory. Hair is also something that can be used to make a statement. The way any woman wears her hair is her way of saying I am the queen of my dome...” Okay, Oh Golden Coiffed One. But assuming that is true, WHOSE “glory” does she personify if “her hair” once belonged to some impoverished 13-year-old Korean girl? WHAT “statement” doth yonder Black “queen” make then? PS: Ladies. I think there's also A LOT of "glory" wrapped up in a sistah's nicely shaped @$$. (“BOOYAWH!”) ‘Course, I guess that’s not a particularly PC thing for me to think/say though. Huh? | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Depends on where you live, ABM. I see women in high places all around Chicago wearing their hair natural and in dread locks. On TV, in banks teachers, principals, nurses, on magazine covers everywhere. And in regard to your other indignant observation, put a sock in it. You can't prove that that African women didn't shave their hair for the same reason that African-American women have their hair permed. Because kinky hair is hard to comb. All of your blather about chemicals and other artifices is irrelevant. You need to stay off of the subject of sistas and their hair because as I said, and what you apparently don't seem to understand, is that a woman makes a statement with her hair and it's too bad if you have a problem with the statement she makes. If she wears a wig or dyes her hair or has it chemically treated, the statement she is making is that she doesn't give a shit if you or anyone else doesn't approve of her choice. And I find it INTERESTING that lately you have to constantly refer to my skin color. Actually I find it amusing; anything to help you score points with Kola. Wheeee. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2682 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, So lemme understand, I should lay off how Black women grossly overspend and fret about their hair, but YOU can recommend the curbing of "indiscriminant breeding". Okay, "Oh (Duplicitous) Queen Mother"! | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
That's right, motor mouth, because what black women frivolously do with their hair doesn't impact on the perpetuation of poverty in the inner cities. Unless, of course, your name is Laquisha and your 5 kids are neglected because you spend your welfare money on getting a weave. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2687 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, Every friggin day scores of Black women are pleading for mercy in bankruptcy court largely because they are spending SIX TIMES the proportion share of their discretionary income of beauty-related expenditures than other women. So don't you DARE sit over their in your Clairol #46 hairdo and pretend that the improvident attention Black women spend on their HUR doesn't have a negative socio-economic impact. It sure a HELL does! | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Do you know that? Where is it written that black women spend more on beauty products than any other women, and where does it say that doing so causes bankrupty. That's crock to single out beauty products as the cause of bankruptcy. Go preach to black men who are buying cars they can't afford. You have gone off on a tangent. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2688 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
"Black women spend more per capita on hair and nails and beauty products and makeup than any other group. When it comes to taking care of our bodies, we fall short. It's a matter of saying that this is a necessity." http://www.jsonline.com/bym/biz2biz/dec03/194927.asp And, btw, the author of this article is a BLACK woman. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2689 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Of course one can't "single out beauty products" as the cause of bankruptcy. And I did NOT do that. But if you're spending SIX TIMES the proportionate share of your discretionary income on beauty maintenance, it is reasonable to conclude that that is, for many, at least a significant part of your economic problem. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: |
Vanity thy name is woman! However, you can't extrapolate the conclusion you do from that article because it is a pitch for the spa industry, saying in effect that instead of spending their money on beauty products black women should be going to health spas instead. The fact of the matter is that a large figure could be cited as to how much the black women collectively spend on beauty products, but not reflect how much they spend individually. Millions of black women do their cosmetic shopping in retail drug stores where you can buy home perm kits for under 10 and hair spray and curling lotions and that all time black favorite cocoa butter all for less than 5 dollars. Nail polish and commetics are not that expensive in these stores, either. And because you can buy these products for reasonable prices, millions of black women could be patronizing these stores and spending within their means, even as their patronage drives up the over-all sales figures. Anyway, this subject has exhausted itself. I'm outta here. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2691 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: |
Cynique, I suppose the ALL below could be ‘lying’. But I’ll leave it up to you to devise a (convenient) justification for WHY they would bother. Oh. And I’m sure you’ll work your (trite) “I stand by my opinion (in spite of OVERWHELMING evidence to the contrary). “ But I thought at least others might enjoy observing the TRUTH (which should never be "exhausted"). “In 1995, the U.S. ethnic hair care market generated $1.2 billion and is estimated to be growing at an annual clip of 5%. In addition, African Americans spend up to three rimes as much of their disposable income on health and beauty products as whites.” http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1365/is_n3_v28/ai_19821904 “SMOOTH OPERATIONS Jun 29, 2004 "There's a lot more at work here than simple vanity. "I think African-American women have finally just decided that it's time to love ourselves," says Essence magazine beauty editor Miki Taylor. African-Americans have become the biggest consumers of beauty products in the United States, spending at least $20 billion a year, as companies like L'Oreal, which opened its Institute for Ethnic Hair and Skin Research in 2003, are well aware. The increase in plastic surgery is in many ways an extension... (MSNBC -- Health)” http://news.surfwax.com/magazines/files/Essence_Magazine.html “Sacramento Black Expo 2004 ... Blacks spend more money on clothing, beauty products and set more trends than any other ethnic group in the nation. This $40 billion economic powerbase has been a main ally of the fashion and beauty...” http://www.sacblackexpo.com/05_fashion.htm “As we turn into the next millennium, we look for technology that helps us be our best. MORE THAN EIGHTY PERCENT of all African-American women are relaxing their hair, opting for a change of textures to allow a wide variety of styling scenarios.” http://www.beautycare.com/newspro/archive/arc11-1999.html “My indulgence (along with many other sisters) in chemically processed hair fueled a multi-million dollar industry. Softsheen (L'Oreal), African Pride(Revlon) and Johnson Products (Carson) are the three major manufactures of relaxers enjoying the fruits of my illusion. Gia Clinkscales, senior vice president of marketing for New Rochelle's (in NY) African Pride states that, "We (African Americans) tend to buy more beauty products and we tend to be less price-sensitive than the general market... ...The average cost of my salon visits were about $60.00 per month for 360 months (30 years), which equals $21,600. If $60 were deposited monthly into some account at a mere 6% compounded monthly for 30 years; it would have yielded $60,000. Better still, if $60 per month had been invested in Wal-Mart Stocks (IPO occurred about 25 years ago) for the past 30 years, it would be worth millions of dollars today." http://www.raceandhistory.com/Brenda/8062001.htm “Not every black woman has Wilson's disposable income. But her discipline is well-known to beauty industry insiders. Black women, with their unique hairstyles and hair challenges, spend two to three times as much money on their hair as white women.” http://www.4utah.com/guides/beauty/story.aspx?content_id=115801D2-427E-4E65-A066 -25C53AD5BF09 “Posted Tuesday, December 14, 1999 - 16:18 by BeautyCare.com DANVILLE, Calif., Nov. 16 /PRNewswire/ -- Statistics show that women in the United States buy thousands of dollars in cosmetics and beauty products every year, but even more surprising is that black women spend four times more money on cosmetic and beauty products than white women.” http://www.beautycare.com/newspro/talk/945206297,51265,.html “When it comes to African-American hair, Mr. Brown said many people underestimate the fragility of it. “People think that African-American hair is strong, but it is so delicate. African-American people spend more per capita on hair care because they have different needs that they are trying to meet,” http://www.happi.com/April05Feature1.htm (And the American Blacks are NOT unique in this regard.) “Black women in the UK spend six times more on hair-care products than white women, according to L'Oreal, the French hair and beauty products company.” http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/4417725.stm “"Black women spend, on average, four times more on their grooming that white women do, " says Caroline Davies, Associate Editor of Black Beauty and Hair. "The way they look has always been very important to them. But what's changed in the last few years is that this generation of black women are the first to have worked their way into a position where they have lots of disposable income. http://www.harrietkessie.com/press.htm | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 269 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM, whew! Guess you collaborated with Mah to get us a lengthy reading list for our school assignments. LOL Me, I 'fess to having a relaxer--as I have had since childhood. Except for a brief period when j-curls first came out in high school I cut all my past-shoulder length hair down to about one inch and got one. There were Black women in the salon then who were LITERALLY crying looking at me getting all my hair cut off. The stylist took forever to cut cause she did it in stages, at each time checking back with me "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" One woman in the salon threatened to call my mother. Both my daughters (5 years ols) have natural hair. I have gotten really good at braiding, twisting, plaiting--Especially impressive given that I was never the type of young girl who liked to play in hair. My goal is to keep their hair natural. I have to admit that I like the ritual of going to the salon every five weeks. It's one of my few connections with "the Black community" on a regular basis. And I enjoy a mid-length style that I actually do very little with: I think I routinely have one bottle of shampoo, one jar of conditioner, one can of hair spray and one jar of light oil. It's all stuff I pick up at the "ethnic hair" section of Target for $15 or so total every coupla months. I also find some of the women who are part of the natural "movements" to be just as self-conscious in an exaggerated, over-compensaing way as some of the addicts of the "lye of the creamy crack." (I LOVE that Crystal!) Having said all that, though, I do envision a time when I will decide to do something else with my hair. Right now I am loving the gray that is coming in--the color, the interesting texture that seems to rebel against the chemicals, not being mistaken for a 21 year old anymore. I love it all. I think I subscribe to the "free your mind and your a** will follow" (inside-out; P-Funk, not En Vogue LOL) and find the opposite process (outside-in) to be constraining and false-feeling. I anticipate that this change might coincide with my daughters getting to the point where they are aware of the difference in my hair versus theirs. When I do get to that point and I do change my hair, I will be totally confortable in my new skin. Just as I was with my little one-inch wash-n-go curl years ago. Just as I am now with my shoulder-length bumped, parted to the left side relaxed do today. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2695 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
'Vette, Yours seem a moderate, well-adjusted perspective on the hair thing. My wife and youngest daughter have natural hair. But my teen daughter wants to get her HUR did. Of course I accomodate. Because, well, she's a loving daughter...and versus such a father hardly has chance. But we do talk to her about not imposing so much value on all the straightening/perming. And, for the most part, she's cool as she doesn't have to have her hair bone-scrait ALL the time. I'm not necessarily advocating that all Black women cancel their hair appointments. Rather, I'm just proposing that some consideration be give to the great EXCESS that's being applied. Because imagine if you had to pay 3 - 5X the same amount for food, utilities or an automobile than everyone else. I think you'd then get a sense of just how grossly unfair this whole hair thing really is. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 854 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Another important point..... .....is that as we become more accustomed to our own hair textures and begin to develop our own beauty standards relative to our genetic makeup .....we will begin to INVENT exciting new ways of achieving what we want with black hair, and in time, as we truly see these styles as "beautiful"---it will get easier and easier for future generations to embrace and FLAUNT them. The main hurdle is deconstructing the notion (for ourselves) that a Black woman.....shouldn't be black. Which is basically what the MEDIA and the social mores/folkways have presented to us-----as a carry-over part of slavery. Naturally, a huge part of that hurdle is the necessary process of Black women giving birth to a "new son"----a son who inately expects and appreciates the beauty and worth of black hair. AND THIS IS NO SMALL FEAT---because black sons, traditionally, have learned to adore Euro hair because they grew up with Pressing-Comb Mother/Sister/Aunts who Relaxed their hair (in imitation of white women's "normality") and who collectively supported the MEDIA idea that a woman's hair is her crowning glory and that her hair should be long, flowing and Protein-deficient (African hair is PURE protein). And as we all know----girls want to be what boys WANT them to be. So therein is the major key to all this.....Black women are going to have to give birth to a SON who "WANTS" black girls to be black. And once that happens----white supremacy will be dealt a serious death blow. Women rule the earth---through their SONS. And Black women have not produced "nations" of healthy sons in at least 500 years. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2701 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola, So where are YOU going to shave YOUR head bald...to honor our African ancestry? | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 856 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Shave my head? BOY you must be crazy!!! LOL _____________ I was simply reminding the brood that "our ideal" of Femininity is the total opposite of Europe's ideal. Our hair naturally grows shorter and tighter to the skull---therefore, our beauty ideal was in line with our genetics. A "shaved head" was not financially easy to maintain in ancient times---therefore, it became a symbol of Wealth and Status for African women.....and Black men considered a completely hairless woman to be the height of femininity and beauty. The Queen of Sheba, who was shiny black and BALD, was considered the world's most beautiful woman---because her skin, from head to toe, was bare soft alabaster and the blackest black. European hair grows flowing and very long---so naturally, that's their IDEAL of feminine beauty, and now that they rule the world (and not Sheba), we are told to adopt their ideals/standards. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2705 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola, So then when you say you gottah shave, you're talking 'bout someplace 'other' than your head. Hmmmm? | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 278 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
*sigh* *head shake* | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 858 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
LOL I don't shave anywhere, ABM. Well, OK, the under arms. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2709 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola: LOL..I don't shave anywhere, ABM...Well, OK, the under arms. ABM: Then you must be quite a sight to see in a bikini. | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 416 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Kola: LOL..I don't shave anywhere, ABM...Well, OK, the under arms. ABM: Then you must be quite a sight to see in a bikini. Mah: ABM, not all of us are Chubacca, you know. I'm like Kola. Hair never grows on my legs, and well, if I ever dared put on a bikini, I wouldn't have to worry about that either. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2711 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Mah, Hmmmm? INTERESTING. What happens? You have sort of a natural 'shedding' facility or something? | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 418 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Some people just naturally aren't very hairy. For me, it's hereditary. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2714 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Must make for some efficient personal grooming. So you've never had to have a bikini wax? | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 422 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Never. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2716 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
You must be the envy of the chicks at the day spa. | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 423 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Well, if I could AFFORD to go to the day spa on the regular, I suppose I would be. But at this point, Mr. Inquiring Mind, you know something about me that my best friends don't even know, lol! And if I hear any "hairless wonder" jokes out of you, it's on. You've been warned. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
In the meantime, I have yet to figure out what the original point of all of this was, ABM. That black women should stop spending money on their hair and just wear it natural and or - what the heck, just shave it off. This will make you happy because it will conform to the way you think things should be, and of course the way you think things should be is the way they should be because you, like Bill Cosby want to tell people to not do as you do, but as you say do. I somehow don't think you're somebody who is frugal with their money. You probably spend it the way that you want to, probably patronize a barber regularly and ain't thinkin about shaving your head, and there are millions of black women who choose to do the same and are not going bankrupt. Save your lecture for all the golf nuts out there, for all the thirty-something men who are laying out big bucks for electronic toys, especially video games. If black women want to indulge and pamper themselves on what makes them feel good, then who are you to chide them. Who, indeed? A big bag of wind bedazzled by statistics.And keep in mind that if you don't want me to join in a discussion, then don't use my name in vain. Now, go back to fantasizing about bald twats. heh-heh | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 426 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Cynique: Now, go back to fantasizing about bald twats. heh-heh Mah: Whew! I read this without reading who posted it, and at first thought it was YVETTE! Lawdamercy! And it's not BALD! (How did we get here?) | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 283 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Mahogany, I can honestly say that that word has never been spoken by my lips. Hilarious!!! Anyway, Mahogany "Sinead pubis" Anais, maybe this'll teach you to share personal stuff with the likes of folks on this board. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2719 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Mah, Don't worry. Let's keep this secret between you, me and you-know-who. Cynique, All I've ready suggested is there be some prudence applied. I mean, come on now, you have sistahs out there who've got their butter-whipped yet can't keep the friggin' lights/gas on. You know dats right. So you need to stop frontin'. I agree Blacks are spendthrifts across the board. That's why we have 14% of the nation's population but less than 2% of its wealth. I only mentioned the hair issue as a corollary to the overall beauty issue we'd been discussing. If you want to discuss the 'myriad' other instances by which we overspend, I'd happy engage you. You, My Dear, have a most convenient knack of raggin' on what's discussed here WITHOUT proffering more compelling alternatives. Cynique: "In the meantime, I have yet to figure out what the original point of all of this was, ABM." ABM: That doesn't surprise me. Because when you reach a certain stage, memory is amongst the first things to go. | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 427 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Vette: Anyway, Mahogany "Sinead pubis" Anais, maybe this'll teach you to share personal stuff with the likes of folks on this board. Sinead: Lesson learned. I was just thinking "body hair" in general, but alas, I forgot who I was talking to. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2720 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique: "Now, go back to fantasizing about bald twats." ABM: Babe. I don't have to 'fantasize' about such. All I have to do is just break-out wax. | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 284 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
I have yet to figure out what the original point of all of this was Cynique, I think the original thread title may have been left intentionally broad. ("Good hair, bad hair...see if I care--Unless it's the hair down there.") Seriously, tho. Discussions of bikini waxes and shaving legs and arm pits and such, do confirm your challenge about what is "(un)natural" and caving in to expectations, and what is simply doing what one chooses with one's body and adornments... | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2721 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Mah, No need to be embarrassed. Not everyone can be as hairy as Cynique. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2722 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Mah/'Vette, Yawl have to excuse, Cynique's language. She's got this pornstar past she's yet to fully cop to. "Oh what a tangled web we weave..." | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
ABM says: "You, My Dear, have a most convenient knack of raggin' on what's discussed here WITHOUT proffering more compelling alternatives." Cynique says: That's because you can't offer an alternative to this question without DICTATING how women should spend their money. ABM says further in regard to my not knowing what the original point of this discussion was: "That doesn't surprise me. Because when you reach a certain stage, memory is amongst the first things to go." Cynique asks: So help me out, and tell me what the original point of this discussion was - if you can remember it. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 859 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
That's true, Mah. I don't have to bikini wax either. I get hair on my legs, but it's unnoticable. One thing I DON'T LIKE...is that since I passed 35 (I'm certain that I must have).....the hair on my head grows SLOWER than it used to. It's still very thick, but it's slow and not as strong now. ____ I've got gray hair starting now, very lightly at the side temples. To my shock---it didn't bother me. I don't have one on my pudding yet, but...I'm expecting it. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
MAH and YVET: Sorry, ladies, if I shocked your modesty. But I must admit that I am shocked that you would be shocked that I was blunt. I'll leave "beatin around the bush" to ABM. (Pun intended.) | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 428 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
LOL, Cynique. If it had been YVETTE, I would have been shocked. When I realized it was you, I was like, "Oh, okay!" *grin* As for modest, I'm generally not, but that particular word has never passed my lips either. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2724 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique says: That's because you can't offer an alternative to this question without DICTATING how women should spend their money. ABM: Okay. Drop the hair thing. You are FREE to create your own thread if you prefer. ("Whether you're CAPABLE of such may indeed be the problem.") Cynique asks: So help me out, and tell me what the original point of this discussion was - if you can remember it. ABM: Babe. I've already mentioned it SEVERAL times. You keep this up and I'mahaftah move your semiannual Alzheimer exam up a few months. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2725 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, I think we all had heard you like to play in the 'bushes'. What surprise us was you candor about such. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 862 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Cynique is the most SPICY chick on here. WHERE YALL BEEN? Maybe if Lambd would come back---she'd turn frisky again. I'm not shocked by ANYTHING Beloved Mother says. She's just been preoccupied lately with keeping my DERN head combed....tender-headed or not. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2727 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yeah. Cynique's gottah past that would make Larry Flynt blush. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: |
You guys, I guess, are like my children and grand kids. They want me to be Mommy and Nana, and when the true me comes out, they get uncomfortable. If we're all at a gathering somewhere and I decide that I want to smoke or jump up and dance, they slowly shake their heads and want to check my drinks. But I figure that I've paid my dues and that when I feel like it, I am now entitled to be the party girl I've always been. Y'all know that I attended the University of the U. S. Post Office and should now be aware that, while there, I earned credits in Vulgar Language 101. When I come to this board, I feel free to say what ever is on my mind. And, that's the problem with cyber space, it emboldens you because you don't have to suffer the consequences. Contrary to what ABM says I do not have a scandulous past. I've just always known how to have a good time and to mix with all kinds of people. As for my husband, my being a high-spirited person is what attracted him to me, so he has resigned himself to me being a swingin ol broad. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2732 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, Oh don't EVEN front! I had you pegged from the giddy-up. 'Cause freaks know der kind. So do your thang, Bang-Bang. But don't hurt yourself. We don't wanna haftah send in for some emergency chiropractic services 'round here. 'Cause I don't think Troy's carrying dat kinda coverage. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
And just what would doing "my thang" consist of on this board, ABM? Freak? uh-uh. Check out my tame entry on Kola's pleasing Mr. Johnson's thread, something to the effect that, unlike the sexual contortions she recommended, I had a preference for simple quickies on the floor, - in the missionary position. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 863 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, I ALSO prefer "missionary" style-----it makes me feel so feminine----and I would like quickies if I weren't infibulated. That's my fantasy---to be able to have a "quickie" Hit 'n Run. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2735 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique: "...unlike the sexual contortions she recommended, I had a preference for simple quickies on the floor, - in the missionary position." ABM: Oh, dat's jes cause you've got a hunk of mileage on your chassis. So you’re past the stage where you can do too many stunts. If you had remaining energy and dexterity, you'd do more. But even Secretariat had to be put out to pasture. Kola, Seems your "fantasy" could be best achieved via an 'under- endowed' partner. HAPPY HUNTING! | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 866 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
I'm not into 6 year old boys, ABM. I just have to take the....agonyyyyyy....if I wanna feel the ECSTACY (for the Ecstacy) Looooooove like ours is never EVER freeeee-eeeeeh you gotta take the Agony, if you wanna feel the ecstacy (for the Ecstacy) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH **Smokey | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: |
In response to Cyniques remarks about what she once considered daring, ABM says: "ABM: Oh, dat's jes cause you've got a hunk of mileage on your chassis. So you’re past the stage where you can do too many stunts. If you had remaining energy and dexterity, you'd do more. But even Secretariat had to be put out to pasture." Cynique responds: You are never more obnoxious, ABM, than when you talk about what you don't know.(which is often) Your digs reek of desperation. But, I'm game so I'd respond to your presumptuousness by speculating that the reason your are so verbally lascivious is to compensate for the middle-aged impotence of your performance in the bed. I'll be even viagra doesn't work for you because your mind is messed up. | ||
| Mahoganyanais "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 439 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Cynique responds: You are never more obnoxious, ABM, than when you talk about what you don't know.(which is often) Your digs reek of desperation. But, I'm game so I'd respond to your presumptuousness by speculating that the reason your are so verbally lascivious is to compensate for the middle-aged impotence of your performance in the bed. Mah adds: Yeah, Teddy Roosevelt did say, "Walk softly and carry a big stick," so I suppose the converse is true for those carrying small...sticks. (Sorry, ABM. Couldn't resist!) | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 871 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: |
Now yall KNOW...ABM is bad!!  He's even got followers and shit now. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: |
White ones, at that. I'm sure that helps to rev up his dead motor. ROTFLOL. | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 293 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Kola, where in the world do you find these images? LOL! | ||
| Libralind2 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Libralind2 Post Number: 77 Registered: 09-2004 Rating: N/A |
That is my question as well..LAWD | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 884 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
LOOOLLLLL Many of them are SENT TO ME by the daily Hate Mail I receive. This particular photo was sent to me from a White Oakie who hates Muslims and wanted to show me a group of Nudist Muslims. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 885 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
I also have this Dave Chappelle-like black dude who sends me stuff like this. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2756 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Ladies, HAHA! Okay..."uncle". I got the message. I'll leave the high school hijinks be. Cynique, I'm sorry. And touché.  | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 305 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
I'll leave the high school hijinks be Time will tell, ABM. Time will tell. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 886 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM, That's those other girls. I love it when you're lascivious. They just don't understand that you're a jokester. And besides, it's no fun when you don't chase us. LOL What's the use of putting colored barrettes in our hair and chapstick on our lips if you're not going to chase us?? We all like what you do. Of course we like it. | ||
| Yvettep "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 306 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: |
What's the use of putting colored barrettes in our hair and chapstick on our lips if you're not going to chase us?? Yeah well Kola, the rest of us "other girls" will be sitting by, quietly twirling our fancy barrettes and licking the chapstick offa our lips the next time Mrs. ABM comes on this board to have a talking-to to you and to her man. LOL! | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 887 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Well, Yvette. Since you put it that way. ***Marching back up the steps to begin my punishment**** | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2763 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola, Don't little girl. I'm sure there'll be some other sporting lads to stroll by who like girls who wear rainbow-color barrettes, cherry-flavored chapstick and don't mind a girl getting a little grass up her plaid skirt. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
I have no problem with your suggestive double entendre, ABM, because you are a jokster. But calling me a freaky porn star is not a witticism, it's an insult. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2765 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, Okay. But so I can avoid future trouble, please explain to me where I am in error: The "freaky" part? Or the "porn star"? | ||
| Libralind2 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Libralind2 Post Number: 82 Registered: 09-2004 Rating: N/A |
ut oh | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 892 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
VERY SERIOUSLY: I can totally understand why DESTINED would be resentful of me and distrustful of my intentions----I don't blame her. But I really hate that she is.... ....because anyone who TALKS OUT LOUD as frequently and as openly and ribaldly as I do......is really not the type that's hunting for somebody's man. If I really wanted ABM...or LAMBD or any of the other men I flirt with....I wouldn't be naming them and boisterously professing my love and using our Playing as ENTERTAINMENT to draw ratings to my board. I wouldn't be making it so EASY for them if I was serious about something. My weakness is that I really get off on the FLIRTING and play acting----just as ABM does. As much as I'm intrigued by ABM and have the huge-est FONDNESS for him (he can really do no wrong in my book)....there's no way that I would seriously cross the lines that either HE or DESTINED have erected.....let alone MY OWN, of which neither of them seem to believe I have any. I DO have lines that I don't cross. Flirting with Troy Johnson on these boards a few times......was nothing like the drab, asexual, boring phone bantering I did once we finally spoke on the phone----ask him. I'm a total lady and I DO NOT betray my sisters (such as DESTINED or Troy's wife)....just because I think their hubbys are cute and in ABM's case---grew over the years to really bond with him. Truth is, ABM and I hardly EVER speak to each other anymore. We have no contact, whatsoever, away from the board.....and even back when we did......the BOTH of us totally "Policed" each other and were like SAILOR BUDDIES, really and truly. I see ABM and I as "kiss'n cousins"---a kind of brother and sister of a similar humor and heart. My respect for him is SUPREME, and even though his wife has every right to be suspicious of somebody like me.....the truth is.......my talk is cheap. Not to mention that as a fellow woman, I have ENORMOUS loyalty to "HER"---which is something that ONLY ABM knows. NO MAN could stand a chance with Thomas's ghost. And ABM KNOWS that. And sometimes...I feel really DIRTY that everybody really believes that I'm STILL a bad girl, like in the old days. I feel as though no one here TRUSTS me---and although I don't blame them for not trusting me----I am very sad about it, because it feels DIRTY...like I've done something bad, and I haven't. I wish that ABM and I could just be "trusted" to joke around. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2767 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola, Come on now, girl. You know we're two randy kids who are hellbent on getting into trouble if the grown foks ain't looking. And Destined ain't NOBODY's fool. Btw: I owe you for that photo of those naiked-@$$ed White foks. Payback's a MOFO! | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Glad you've finally acknowledged that you need me to explain your errors to you, ABM. In answer to your dumb question. Both. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2769 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique: "Glad you've finally acknowledged that you need me to explain your errors to you, ABM." ABM: Well. I know how much you like to power-trip. So I thought I'd throw a dog a bone. Cynique: "In answer to your dumb question. Both." ABM: The only dumb questions are those that go unasked. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 898 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
SCURRED "ABM....don't pay me back, OK? I didn't mean it." __________ ABM: The only dumb questions are those that go unasked. KOLA: I agree. | ||
| Cynnique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
When seeking power trips, Bonehead, I avoid interacting with the impotent. You know about impotency, don't you? Or to spare your ego, is that a question that should go unasked??????? | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2775 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, HAHAHAHA! I am by no means a perfect man. But being "impotent" is most certainly NOT amongst my faults. If anything, I'm inflicted with the opposite such condition. Don't believe me, next time she's around ask Destined. | ||
| Kola Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 903 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
I believe him. |
