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abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: abm
Post Number: 2492
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 06:40 am: | 
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“Here’s the WINDUP...”
My wife and I recently had a talk with our 14 year old daughter about sex.
(I know. You parents out there do NOT envy us.)
But it was cool.
I managed to get through most it with aplomb. In fact, late into the talk, I felt so in control I was about ready to relax and ‘pop my collar’. But then...suddenly...my wife candidly suggested that my daughter should explore...MASTURBATION.
(*WHEW!*)
Initially, as you can imagine, I was floored.
Partly, because my wife did not warn me prior to our discussion that she would do that.
(“We agreed we would talk about sex. But you didn’t say we would talk about 'SECKS'!”)
And partly because I couldn’t believe I was looking into the sweet, innocent face of my baby girl as my wife blended together words such as “masturbation”, “fingers”, “vagina”, “mirror”, “vibrator” and “clitoris”.
(*DOUBLE-WHEW!*)
Now, those who’ve been around here a while know I’m more a letch than I am a prude.
So it should be easy for you to divine that I’m NOT against self-gratification. (And, no, I don’t believe “you’ll go blind from it”.)
No. I was just surprised by but then proud of the utter ease with which my wife assured my daughter that it is okay for her to enjoy exploring and loving herself.
She unequivocally declared it important for every female to become thoroughly – and GRAPHICALLY – familiar with that most intimate region of her body.
And she then quite eloquently suggested there might be times when my daughter should use masturbation to curb desire for having what could prove to be inopportune, dangerous sex with others.
Man. My wife broke it down so sweet; I managed to calm down long enough to make some contribution to the conversation (...without screaming).
(“Uh? Yeah, sweetheart. Lissen to what yo’ momma say about that.” <<smiling/sweating>>)
And our kid appeared to understand and appreciate what was said (‘Course, now I guess going forward I’d better knock before entering her bedroom.). And, amazingly, she didn’t for an instance appear grossed-out (which, paradoxically, calms yet frightens me).
Boy, I was glad when that was over. And I still haven’t stopped wincing every time I recall our discussion.
“And now the PITCH...”
I know this is a ‘touchy’ (Hehe!) subject. But the experience I describe above caused me to wonder what many of you out there SERIOUSLY think about masturbation (beyond just the crude, lewd thoughts that curse through my mind).
Do you consider masturbation a natural, healthy expression of self-awareness and self-love?
Or do you consider it bizarre, self-indulgent, immoral, unseemly, etc.?
How and when did you first become aware of masturbation?
What did your parents say to you about it?
Have you spoken with your children about masturbation? Would you?
Do you believe, as was promoted by former Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders, that masturbation should be mentioned in sex education as a method of impeding incidents of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases?
Do YOU...’Bop’? *wink* |
abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: abm
Post Number: 2495
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 06:58 am: |
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Kola,
Sorry. The second post was intended for another thread. I've already posted it there.
So if it's not too much trouble, please remove it from here. |
mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: mahoganyanais
Post Number: 265
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 09:21 am: |
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ABM, as the mother of two young daughters, I am always on the look out for positive examples, and your wife is my hero today. Brava to her for empowering and encouraging your daughter towards a healthy sexuality.
ABM: Do you consider masturbation a natural, healthy expression of self-awareness and self-love? Or do you consider it bizarre, self-indulgent, immoral, unseemly, etc.?
Mah: A natural, healthy expression of self-awareness and self-love.
ABM: How and when did you first become aware of masturbation?
Mah: Honestly, it seems like I've been aware for as long as I could remember. Since childhood, can't pinpoint an age.
ABM: What did your parents say to you about it?
Mah: Not a word. But I felt instinctively that like anything to do with genitalia, that it should be "hidden" and was something "bad." Only as an adult did I learn better.
ABM: Have you spoken with your children about masturbation? Would you?
Mah: My oldest is 6. I will talk to her at length as she gets older, but we have had lots of conversations about her private parts. She has sat staring, poking and asking me the names of the different parts. I tell her. She knows the difference between a vulva and a vagina. She found her clitoris and told me it feels good when she rubs it, and I told her that it's suppose to, and because it's a private part, that's for doing in private. Not, um, in the family room as she was the day when she discovered this little built-in magic button!
ABM: Do you believe, as was promoted by former Surgeon General Dr. Jocelyn Elders, that masturbation should be mentioned in sex education as a method of impeding incidents of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases?
Mah: Not sure if it would help, but I wouldn't object to it being discussed.
ABM: Do YOU...’Bop’? *wink*
Mah: What do you think? *wink* |
Cynique
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 12:01 pm: |
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The problem with masterbation is that no male can do for a female what a female can do for herself. So there's the future danger of an adult female being unfulfilled by sex because she's been spoiled by the staying power of her fingers. That is also why men are so intimidated by vibrators. Sex is really a touchy subject. So, everybody just has to do their own thing.(puns intended.)BTW, from what teen-agers are saying nowadays, oral sex has become their alternate form of intimacy. So much for my "tongue-in-cheek" comments. |
kola
Moderator
Username: kola
Post Number: 697
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 12:39 pm: |
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(“We agreed we would talk about sex. But you didn’t say we would talk about 'SECKS'!”)
____________
ABM, you had me down on the floor belly-laughing like a wild hyena for 6 minutes with this one line.
Too funny!
You have to give me permission to use it in my new novel.
___________________
SEE EVERYBODY.
I'm not the only one who shares personal stuff on this board.
_________________
ABM, of course I agree with your wife 100%
And because I'm raising my boys the African way (naked in the river; our church)...our cultural religion automatically teaches them HOW TO MAKE GENERATIONS ("reproduction" and "responsibility"). It's like the bird and the bees...only its...the current/the stone/the mudd. And the sons can see that the mother's body is different from theirs and they learn the "parts" at birth as you teach them to swim.
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Anonymous
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 01:30 pm: |
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Hi my name is Anon, and I am a masturbataholic....it all began when i was very, very young. A next door neighbor ( a little older than I, mind you) showed me the way and I got that warm, fuzzy, feeling. She said "if you pee on it, it feels real good." Then she let it rip..(ok, i care too much for the peeing part, but i got the warm feeling stuff). Advance 20 so odd years...( i was ashamed of myself, my little dirty secret) Advance another 20 years (if it feels good do it, and it feels GREAT!) Now I only hide it from my hubby. |
Curious
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 11:39 pm: |
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Anon says in reference to her neighbor's suggestion about masturbation:
"She said "if you pee on it, it feels real good." Then she let it rip."
I ask:
Pee on what??????? |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2514
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 12:26 am: |
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Kola,
Feel free to use anything I post here (So long as I'm referred to as your book acknowledgments as "ABM, My Noble Lord & Master".).
Cynique,
And if masterbation was a SERIOUS impediment to people achieving mutual satisfaction, few would date/marry.
I but I agree things could for some get 'outtah hand', so to speak.
Ultimately, if there's no love, it doesn't matter how skilled one is/not in ANY sexual technique. Everyone will ended up unsatisfied.
Because it's the intimacy, exchange of touch, pleasure and emotions that we all seek from each other, not just clever manipulation of our equipment.
Mah,
Destined is my hero too.
I am just so proud and humbled by what she did, that I can't help but feel profoundly grateful to her.
I'm happy for you you are empowered to freely help your daugthers develope a healthy sense of their bodies, their beauty.
Considering the times/troubles we face (e.g., frigidity, abandonment, disease, etc.), that might be amongst the more abiding gifts you bestow to them.
Of course my mother never spoke to me about masterbation. And poppa was a rollin' stone.
So, ironically, I didn't really learn about it 'til an agressive teenage girl 'took (my) 'things' into her 'hands' and manually relieved me to ecstasy. Afterwards, I thought to myself, "Hmmmm! You know what, if she can do THAT for me...I can do it for myself, too."
After that realization, it was "Bombs away!".
PS: One of my favorite sayings is "The other side of every fear is a freedom." That is the gift my wife and you are giving to your daughters..."freedom".
Anonymous: "She said "if you pee on it, it feels real good." Then she let it rip."
Curious: "Pee on what???????"
ABM: I think she means her neighbor's Tom cat. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 283
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 07:10 am: |
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ABM, my poppa was a rollin' stone too.
You wrote: PS: One of my favorite sayings is "The other side of every fear is a freedom." That is the gift my wife and you are giving to your daughters..."freedom".
Thank you, ABM. This work is not for the faint-hearted.
Great quote. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2518
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 07:55 am: |
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Mah,
You are welcome. I believe it was author by poetess Marilyn Ferguson.
Indeed our task be stout.
But remember the immortal words of Shakespeare: "A faint heart hath never won fair [orgasm]. Hehe! |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 285
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 11:47 am: |
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So *that's* what old Willy meant?!?!
ABM, you slay me. |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 213
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, May 07, 2005 - 10:55 pm: |
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My daughters are 5...Lordamercy what I have to look forward to!
Reminds me, any "Nip/Tuck" viewers out there? There was this great episode where the daughter begins menstruating at an early age. One of the parents' friends, also a mother of a daughter, organizes and throws her a "Princess Menses" party with some other young girls where they learn about periods, look at pads and tampons, etc.
Has anyone heard of this type of thing in real life? Sounds promising, though at my time I wanted this kept as much on the down low as possible. My mother, however, had different ideas and took me out to lunch with her and her best friend to "celebrate."
Mah, the story about your daughter is hilarious! One of mine kept looking at her vagina and I finally asked her what she was doing. She said she was looking to see if a baby was getting ready to come out of there! She seemed relieved when I put her mind at ease about that! |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 798
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 08, 2005 - 03:08 am: |
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ABM, I used to really dance to that song "She-Bop". That and "When I Think of You" by Janet Jackson. I was the shit, honey.
Oh and "We Got the Beat" by the GoGo's.
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