| Author | Message | ||
     kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 294 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
From KOLA: As you all know...I broke up with the father of my sons', the only man I've ever loved--last summer.  But I just found out that he has a new girlfriend (although I believe he's been fucking other women since about a month after our breakup--he denies it, but that's what I believe). I'm devastated and I'll write about it in detail later today. I'm just too upset right now. Because I'm still in love with him---and now he's moved on and I feel like dying. People don't understand that I really NEEEED him! (and not just to pay our bills).  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 295 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
After 8 years with a man you really love, how do you learn to be by yourself? I'll post more later. I'm just too upset. | ||
| Nyibol Newbie Poster Username: Africanqueen Post Number: 19 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
That's a hot body he got going there,lol:P *Hugs* Kola, everything will be fine! | ||
| Medusa Newbie Poster Username: Medusa Post Number: 11 Registered: 03-2005 Rating: N/A |
Ditto what Nyibol said.  | ||
| Chris Hayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 1042 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola: I hate to get involved in this (every time I give romantic advice it results in disaster to the persons who receive it) but here goes-- Have you told him this? And does he still see the boys? | ||
| blackangel Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
My Dearest you, Sit down and watch "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" again and pay close attention to what the mother said to the daughter. Her daughter said that her husband was the only man that she ever loved and how was she to get along, she stated that this man was her "EVERYTHING". The mother's reply......................You've got to learn to love and let go and let GOD be your man. If he has moved on dear heart you have GOT to do the same thing..................they say that there is a "blessing" in disappointments so count yourself as being blessed. God (whomever you may call HIM) works in mysterious ways and who knows he probably ridded this guy out of your life to avoid future heart brakes. Love, Malika Can't wait to see you @ Karibu | ||
| Kola Boof Regular Poster Username: Kola_boof Post Number: 36 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
I have SO MUCH to say on this thread. I will post later. MALIKA---my tour for April has been cancelled. We sent you several emails. | ||
| cynique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Don't tell me our resident femme fatale got left in the lurch. Well, girlfriend, maybe you oughta pick up a copy of the best-selling book, "He's Just Not That Into You." And, heaven help the poor woman Thomas is consorting with if she's white or - dare I say - LIGHT-SKINNED. Talk about the "Wrath of Kola." Run, everybody! Take cover! | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 303 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Cynique, One of the reasons that I love Thomas so deeply is that he's a Garifuna (the tribe from Mali who hijacked the slave ships they were on and started the nation in Central America called BELIZE)..... and....he is one of the very few men I've ever met in my life who genuinely loves, reveres and protects black women and black people. Also--I would not mind if he was going with a "yellow colored" black girl, as long as she was conscious as we are as a family. And for the record...I've seen his new girlfriend and she's 17 years younger than me and is a Garifuna (darker than me) from BELIZE as well. I have a LOT to say here, but I'm still not strong enough and I will post later. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 304 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi Chris Hayden. We BOTH know that we still love each other---but I refuse to give up my career and move to Belize to be his wife (although I want very badly to be his wife and have my career, too, and stay in America. Hell--I want to be his SLAVE, if he would just honor my career---he's a good black man). But you know what a "traditional" (meaning SEXIST) Garifuna Tom-Trojan is. I've always worked in the house, cooked and cleaned, had the kids---and made MY WRITING seem invisible or "like a hobby". He tolerated it, because he didn't have to hear about it or take it seriously. He's always considered me "eccentric" and not really taken my exploits seriously---like when I got Israel to ship guns and ammunition to the Rebels in my country---he didn't even believe it. He just assumed I was joking and I let him. But now...as I become more famous and he realizes that I could become very wealthy from my work...he wants me to give it up and get married and move to Belize (where I would become imprisoned in his house, no doubt). Yes---he sees the boys every weekend, he eats here on the weekends and he calls them during the week. SO...THAT TOO...is a huge part of the problem. I can't let go, because we're always in each other's face. Although---I have NOT let him sleep with me. And just wait until I, Kola, get a new boyfriend---you will hear about me being beaten up and hospitalized on the news by a rowdy Belizian, I'm sure. | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
hi Kola, as from what I read you saying about your ex and I already had a bit that impression, I think he doesn't deserve you. Even though you both love each other, somewhere the love is not deep enough as there is a lack of respect from his side. In a love relationship, partners need to be equal to each other and also see this and have the same respect for one another, which wasn't the case here. Your ex has still a lot to learn, just like so many other men. Even though you are a feminist, I think uncounsciously you have not enough respect for yourself as a woman to still feel attrackted to this type of men. We as women are also conditioned to fancy the macho-type of men, even when we know on a rational level, that they aren't the good ones. I believe when you really have had enough with these type of men (because they will never truly respect you), you will start to desire a more different type of man, and automatically you will attract them into your life and HE will cross your path. I also used to be more into the 'lover' or 'player' type of man, but after realizing I was not respected as I should've been (which took a long time), I stopped desiring him (you just can't torture yourself forever, can you?) and from that time I met a good guy(well, still on the Net) whom I desire and I just think now, that the previous one wasn't worth it. I guess at the moment, you would think that there is no other man out there that matches you so well, or that you could love equally as your ex, but really, we all have more than one close soulmate. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 309 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi Asherah, I never knew that I could "LOVE" a man (I hated men when I was young) or "BE LOVED" until I met Tom-Trojan. In many ways, he healed me and taught me how to love and accept love. To me...he blessed my life with his caring and strength and he saved me. And he is not the "lover/player" type. He is the quite, controlling, dominant type--very family oriented.  But you're right. Feminist or not---I LOOOOOVE sexist pig Black Men who give me affection, attention and make good love to me. It's as though I have an instant affinity with the ones who are charming, fast-talking and DOMINANT (I become the Anti-Kola slave girl type behind closed doors). I am also very insecure about my looks now that I've reach my late-30's.....and I attribute this to the fact that I used to be "beautiful" and in many ways lived OFF THAT. So now that I am losing my looks to age and stress, I find this PANIC going on inside me that also makes me weak.  The thing about "LOVE", though (and the novel "Their Eyes Were Watching God" illustrated it so well)....is that no man or woman are "perfect" and part of truly loving someone is accepting their flaws and insecurities---which is why IT IS possible for a feminist woman to fall deeply and madly for a sexist man...who NEEDS her. Sexist or not--Thomas is a truly, TRULY good man and a wonderful father. I have never once had to ask him to take care of his children---and I continue to live primarily off his income (he owns an electrical company and most of his contracts are with the government). I live on HIS ranch, all my cars are bought by him, all the money that I have comes from him. The royalties from my books are given to me every 3 months and they don't even add up to $1,000. He does all of this.....without even being asked. He comes from a sexist culture---the Garifuna Belizians are like traditional African men. His Uncles and his father expect him to be a certain way---and this puts pressure on him, because like any male, he desires the approval and admiration of his male elders. My career (and the verbosity of my public image) frightens him and it THREATENS his "possession/control" to the point where he is fearful that he will be less than a man....and of course, that's silly and insecure and a kind of "superstition" that men have....but I still believe that he loves me (to the greatest degree that HE can love) and that he is a good, good man. I know that I love him...and that I am seriously thinking about breaking him and his girlfriend up before they become too serious. I am not ready to let him go, and I know that I have the power to throw a monkey wrench in his social life, and for the sake of my sons, it might be necessary With time and patience...he may be persuaded to accept my career and my success. I'm not convinced yet that we should be apart---and it would be better for his girlfriend if she received a "tiny hurt" now than a "major heartbreak" later. | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
I know that type of man. I have known one, also brought up the African way, who was at the same time shy, had a good heart, but very controlling and dominant. Also very intelligent and intuitive, but still no respect for women even if he thought he had. It's really difficult to be in a situation like that, I believe. With me it were not even long-term relationships, but I don't believe that it's possible to keep up a relationship like that. It's completely destructive. And because his sexism is deep within him, because of being brought up like that, I don't believe he can change quickly and because you can't let go, you try to adapt in someway to him, but it will only make him have less respect for you. But it already happened, you broke up with each other, because it was inevitable. What you say about truly loving someone is accepting their flaws and insecurities is true, but there are other necessary things in true love, which is self-love, meaning someone must first accept his/her own insecurities and flaws. For your ex it means realizing and accepting his insecurities about his 'manhood' that is in fact just an illusion. It's easier to not be confronted with that, so he naturally chooses to submit you to his idea so he can avoid the pain and live out his ego. For you, if you want to keep your self-respect and self-love, you can't keep on making yourself invisible and acting like you are less than you are, just to not hurt his ego. So, there is a lack of selflove from both sides in this relationship, which is a FIRST condition to truly love each other. He has shut the door, by holding on to his ego, which is the barrier for real love. Love is not an ego-thing. He needs to admit first he has this problem and be open for it to accept his vulnerability that he won't be able to disguise forever behind his so called masculanity. Because a real man has the guts to develop his feminity. Hopefully, his new girlfriend will refuse to submit, so he learns a lesson about himself, but it also could be that she gives him what he wants, so it's better for you to look out for a new love if he doesn't want to do an effort to work on himself anyway. I wish you GOOD LUCK! | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
oh another thing, you say he thought you love and how to accept it, so you might think that this thing I'm talking about a lack of selflove is not true.. I correct: not ENOUGH self-love, not that there is a complete lack of self love, because you might both have healed better than ever before through this relationship, but apparently there are still a lot of barriers that needs to be overcome and if one of the two refuses to do someth about it, what can you do? (I'm just trying to not feeding your longing for him by unreveiling the things you might not want to see or not realize enough, as I believe I wouldn't do a good thing in supporting you in your desire for him. But I also know that you will see it in time, or things will evolve the way they do in the time you need for it) | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 310 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ASHERA, I really appreciate your input and I'm not offended.  ASHERA said: Hopefully, his new girlfriend will refuse to submit KOLA: She's a Garifuna like him--chosen precisely because she is already SUBMISSIVE, raised straight from his own culture. She is also 17 years younger than me and very, very pretty. He wants a woman who stays home and doesn't work (as I made it APPEAR that I did for so many years)...he wants good cooking (which is why he "pays me" to make his favorite meals and comes here every weekend to pick up his box and cooler).......he is a wonderful conversationalist and wants a woman who can talk for hours (which was the strongest part of our relationship). He wants a woman who is "submissive" in bed and freaky. He likes affection and cuddling. Asherah...the REAL truth is that I was just DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY with him. For 8 years---just so very HAPPPY. How do I give that up? And my sons want their daddy back home. Don't you think it's possible that with time and communication---he could GET USED TO my career and my public image and not feel so threatened by it? | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Time will tell, but if he ever would be ready for changement, then I think it would only happen if you already have let go of him. (well to explain this would be quite long, but it's just a law-of-nature thing, I think) B.t.w. did you act submissively in bed with him? That guy I was talking about (half-African) could only have sex with a girl if she gave him a blowjob first. (it had nothing to do with the blowjob itself, but of course because of the psychological nature of needing a woman that is submissive, so he would feel strong and powerful over her) Such men are a complete frustration for women. Well, especially for intelligent women. I know, when I would want him I would submit to stuff like that(while he actually never has wanted sex with me), thinking I could submit to it when nobody else saw it, because I am NOT a submissive nor naieve woman at all. But you only fool yourself with it, because you actually DO submit to it. It's not just a role-game, like they try to make it look like. By doing it, you simply become like that, it's unhealthy because it leaves you frustrated. Maybe you will meet someone that can make you even more happy. I definetely believe, that when you meet a man with true respect for women, you will feel the difference and feel a much deeper love and happiness. If you don't know what to do with your life now, you could also see someone who lays the tarot cards. (if you're open or into that) But make sure it's someone with a good reputation. Well, I'm off to bed now, it's already late here... | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 311 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Yes, I am submissive in bed (which is how I've always been, actually--probably related to my "height" issues growing up where I was taller than all the boys and wanted them to like me--and black girls with "dark skin" are often stereotyped as strong/masculine, so you will find a lot of them who try to disprove these stereotypes by being extremely accomodating and submissive in bed with men). And yes, Thomas likes a lot of "head", too. But because my vagina is infibulated--I often preferred to give head to avoid the difficulties with penetration. You will find that a lot of infibulated women are really good at head. LOL I also think that no matter how "womanist" I am intellectually....there is a huge part of me that is influenced by my Sudanese mother----African women are fiercely submissive and catering to their men, and this is why I am a professional cook...because I had to achieve something that my deceased birth mother would really REALLY admire about me.... .....and that I can cook good would please her far more than the fact that I can write a book. | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
Just my two-cents: 1) There are none so blind as those who will not see. 2) A wise person learns from a fool's mistakes,* but a fool must learn from her own. *Asherah admitting her mistakes & what she learned from them. 3) It appears that you are mistaking financial dependence for love, that he using to send mixed messages to control you and feed his ego. 4) Since your xlover and his new love are from the same culture, let him teach her how to prepare hisfaorite foods. 5) Try to heed Asherah sage advice and move on. You can make it, you have a lot going for you. Believe in yourself. 6) Asherah what should I look for in a good Tarot reader? | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 312 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Thanks Anonymous. LOL Although my "African-American" adoptive Mother taught me that you always cook recipes for your husband that no other woman knows how to cook. So the only way she could learn to make his cereal FROM SCRATCH or to make Arab Kubtz bread or Sudanese Spicy Cherry Soup (HIS FAVORITE)....is from me. And I'm not teaching ANY WOMAN how to cook for him. | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
No Kola, let him teach her,if he cannot let his Mamma teach her. Different strokes for different folks, I don't believe in catering to men. In a split second I'll tell a man: I'll be your woman, but not your maid. If you want a maid hire one, and remember I'm not for hire. ha! ha! --and I've always gotten along just fine. Play the game by my rules or we don't play. I ain't never gonna give up my power. | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
Cracking up after rereading your post--what kind of cereal do you make from scratch? Oatmeal? Grits? lol I cannot think of anything else that would start from scratch. BTW I don't cook, just nuke. The only thing that I want to do in the kitchen is to get out of it. Again btw, the way to a man's heart, ain't through his stomach. LOL | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 313 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Yeah, my AA mom told me that the way to a man's heart is through good blowjobs. You missed my post up above about "infibulated" women and "Head"? YES... I make his cereal from scratch with 3 grains, 1 hydrated oat, brown sugar, honey, shredded coconut and coconut milk, molasses, shaved almonds, shaved walnuts, braised grapes, shredded apple and a "special ingredient" (Spice)from Ethiopia. He loves it. And I also make all our bread--"Kubtz". He is addicted to this Arabian bread for his sandwiches, it's quite good. I truly do not cook FOR HIM.... ....all my life I've cooked because I really love cooking. But I did discover later on (with men) that it's a very powerful tool in a relationship...because if they get used to really good food and things tasting a certain way...they want to keep and protect those creature comforts. Which is why he PAYS me each week to bake him one loaf of bread, a bag of cereal from scratch, a pastry treat of some kind, two "King Salads" and 3 full dinner meals. Plus I make his health juices. I used to make his lunch every morning before he left home--for 8 years, so he's really hurting now that we're no longer together. He told me that he grabs something off the Mexican truck--a taco or something. I notice he's losing weight. My sons are not too demanding yet with "food". They just want hot dogs (no bun, no mustard) or Noodles (top ramen with a chicken wing) or Greek Pizza (my invention) or a bowl of my cereal. Their grandmother makes them eat REAL MEALS,and I make sure that they have one "Super Drink" every afternoon--which is raw vegetables juiced with Castor Oil, Eucalyptus, tumeric, iron, vitamin C and E and a spoon of African Sudd. They eat a lot of fruit, because I don't allow candy (unless I make peanut brittle)...sometimes they get a cake or fudge on holidays. I make donuts every now and then. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 314 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Sudanese Spicy Cherry Soup is the African version of "GUMBO". It's his very, very, very...FAVORITE meal. I only make that 3 times a year--christmas, his birthday and thanksgiving. But now he pays me to make it once a month. He can eat a whole 6 gallon pot by himself!! Give the man a pan of cornbread with it and he's in heaven!! | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
Everything sounds very nutritious. Would really like to taste the super drink & kutz bread, I'm with him on the cornbread. Might have to visit you for an adventures in eating. Peace | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Anonymous, I have positive experiences with visiting a Tarot reader (and before that one, another clairvoyant too). It can help you on your pathway if you don't know what to do at some point in your life. It can show you chances, opportunities that lies ahead in the future..also a good psychic will first tell you about yourself, the way you feel etc, which can make someone feel a lot more relieved, because most other people usually don't REALLY understand someone's feelings or situation. Kola said: "I also think that no matter how "womanist" I am intellectually....there is a huge part of me that is influenced by my Sudanese mother" >>>I think so too, Kola, this is something you might have to work on, if you want to free yourself of that submissive thing and attraction towards sexist men, because it's stuck in the subconscious. I agree with Anonym. to better stop cooking for him. Good luck  | ||
| A Friend Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Hi Kola, I am sorry you are in such pain over your break-up. I truly hope that you soon are able to find some peace and joy, either with or without Thomas. Take Care. A Friend PS: There is something about the look of his eyes that suggests that Thomas is indeed a good & honorable (albeit flawed) man. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 321 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi all. Something extraordinarily TERRIBLE has happened. I'll post later. God. I don't know if you guys will even believe my side. Thomas doesn't and he's ready to kill me. Really need all your advice. Write later. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 322 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
WELL. This is very bad and I really need your advice on what I should do. This past Sunday night, Thomas came for dinner with me and the boys and then took us out to the carnival for rides and cotton candy. After that he made a fire outside by the river and we roasted some marshmellows and made apples and sang to the boys. Only once...at around 10:45 did his new girlfriend call on his Cell Phone. She just wanted to tell him goodnight and that she hoped we were all having a good time and everything. Anyway--it's a 2 hour drive all the way back to Los Angeles, so I suggested that Thomas just stay the night (which he hasn't done in 6 months--because I don't allow us to have sex now that we're broken up). Of course, I set up the guest room for him to stay in, but then I took him to our bedroom--which is really HUGE---to sit in the parlor area (it's like a mini-livingroom in the bedroom) and have candied cranberries, heated rum and pastries. We laughed and talked, and at some point...our 5 Year Old came in (obviously happy to see us socializing) and climbed all over us for hugs and kisses before going to bed. My oldest son came in,too, but he was only in the room for a minute and wanted to get back to his computer. But my 5 year old tottered around. Anyway. Thomas spent the night----in my room, and we slept together. God. We said a lot of stuff, mainly about how we're still in love and how difficult it is living without each other. He told me that I'm the best woman he's ever had. It was really wonderful. BUT... ...somehow, when my small son was in the room earlier that night--he had punched the dialer on his father's Cell Phone and it called back the last person who had called. Which is his father's new girlfriend. She stayed up ALLLLL NIGHT listening to everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. It's so awful. I was making a big breakfast for Thomas and the boys when she called his Cell Phone yesterday to break up with him. Naturally, he was shocked, livid and caught off guard. And guess what? He blamed it ALLLLLLLL on me. Can you believe that? He actually went off like THUNDER! I mean raging mad---accusing me of seducing him and telling our son to turn his phone on so that this would happen. He terrified our poor child, trying to force some kind of confession out of him---but my baby is innocent. He doesn't even know how to think like that. He's just a little child and to him, the phone is a toy with shiny buttons to push. There's no way we could have planned anything like this and yet Thomas is CONVINCED....that I set him up to lose his girlfriend and now he's threatened to stop paying my bills and to move me out of his house and into an apartment. He left without giving me my spending money for the week and he didn't take the food I cooked for him for this week. He wanted to beat me up. I could tell. That's how angry he was. But the thing is...I didn't do anything wrong. I am totally innocent. I KNOW that I shouldn't have had sex with him, but I haven't had it in 7 months. And we have too much Chemistry and too much Heat between us. We're in love. It was hard to not do it, and we both wanted it so bad. But now I have to take all the blame for it. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 323 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Making matters worse, is that he read all the posts I made on this board---many of which were made while he was sleep on the bed. I may lose my home and everything now. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 324 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Thomas says that because I was posting stuff on the "world wide web" at the same time that he was over to the house--it only proves that I intentionally set out to make him lose his new girlfriend. He said awful, terrible things to me. | ||
| Mahogany Anais AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Mahoganyanais Post Number: 93 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Kola, Take a deep breath. Get a lawyer. He can't make good on his threats. And you don't have to depend on the goodness of his heart to get financial support while you are separated. I don't know CA law, but my guess is that you (or at least the children) are entitled to support during the separation. If he won't keep your informal agreement about him bringing you money, then make it legal. Let me know if you want me to email you privately. Take care, ~Deesha | ||
| Chris Hayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 1043 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola: You should erase this thread. Your motives might be good but Thomas might see this airing of what is his and your business as a betrayal. Further, our use to your both is limited since we are all far removed from the scene of the happenings-- | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 325 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hey Mahogany. I just emailed you. Chris Hayden--I love you for being a friend who always gives such good, sound advice. But the damage is done--and anyway, he KNEW to come online and look at this board, because he forbid me to post here 3 years ago, remember? So he was SHOCKED to see that I now have my own board all to myself. But he wasn't shocked that I was chatting with people. What does he expect? He has me coooped up on a ranch in the middle of nowhere---I go DAAYAYYYYS without seeing other people (adults, I mean). He just doesn't understand. But I will wait now to see if he calms down, because I am not convinced that he would ever hurt me and the children. I think he's just mad. And I don't blame him for being pissed off---but it's not like it was MY fault. It takes two to fuck and it wasn't me who called his girlfriend so she could listen, it was his son. Who is a baby and is innocent. | ||
| Chris Hayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 1044 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola: I am sure he will calm down and probably even laugh about it--maybe you should tell him some of these things that you are posting here-- And if the moment feels propitious, maybe you should ask him what kind of person is his girlfriend to listen to you guys all night? | ||
| cynique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Kola, you have to be the original inspiration for the term "Drama Queen." The stylistic narrative of what happened between you and Thomas and the twist of fate that thickens the plot sounds like something out of a soap opera contrived to attract viewers. Puleeze. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 328 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
You see there, Cynique. I haven't done anything to you lately, and NOW, in my time of need---when you could be giving motherly advice and sympathy--you just can't WAIT to lash out and get your kicks in. You are the one who is a Drama Queen! | ||
| cynique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
I don't know why you always want to cast me in the role of your mother. I certainly don't think of your as a daughter. Suck it in, girlfriend. You'll survive. | ||
| blackangel Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
I would be VERY interested in reading what Kola's EX has to say. | ||
| mouse Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
This is not a board to discuss various sociopolitical/economic/religious issues, but your personal weblog. Troy should have a talk with you & clarify this boards purpose. He left without giving me spending money--PLUEEZE! You need a 9 to 5 (since you've never had one) so you can stand on your own feet. | ||
| mouse Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
You have more problems than Kellog has corn flakes. I doubt that a psychiatrist, that you really need, can bring order to your many problems. Who is Kola's EX? | ||
| Chris Hayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 1047 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola: Blackangel may have something there. Would Thomas be down with coming on this board and discussing this--I gotta be kidding, right? Would I? Of course not! This reminds me of the last time I gave advice to the lovelorn. Friend of mine had spent time with his girlfriend instead of being out of town on a busines trip and his wife found out. He stopped by my crib and asked should he go home. I told him to go on home and confront the stuff. When he got out of the hospital... | ||
| Janine Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
LOL @ Cynique! Kola, You don't fool me either. I think it's dastardly the way you used your child to do your dirty work and I don't blame Thomas for not believing you, because I don't either. You coached that child to come in that room get that phone and push that button. Why after 7 months of no sex, you suddenly decide to give sex right when the man has a new girlfriend. You're a mess and I have no sympathy for you. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 329 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
WOW. Let me try to reply to all. Black Angel: I really don't think Thomas would come on here and discuss this. He's totally different than me. He lives INSIDE himself. I am an exhibitionist. MOUSE: This is "The Kool Room" and anything goes. But I would really love it if YOU would help me out by posting some topics like the ones you suggested. Then I wouldn't get bored and start chatting about my life between house chores and writing. Chris: Thomas would not come in here. You're crazy. Janine: YOU can kiss my black ass. I did no such thing as what you've accused me of. How would an innocent child know what button to press in the first place? And how would I arrange for him to get hold of his father's Cell Phone? It fell it out of Thomas's pocket while he was sitting on the love seat. How is that my fault?? You and Cynique need to stop being so mean. | ||
| Chris Hayden "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 1048 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola: You're right. This is for you two. Good luck. | ||
| Janine Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Kola--- You coached that child and had him call that woman on purpose! I was not born yesterday. You said yourself the child crawled all over him and was playing around you two in the room. Sure he was. So he could carry out what his Mama told him what to do. You go 7 months just fine, then the man gets a girlfriend and SNAP--right away he ends up in your bed with the new girlfriend on the telephone listening in. I wasn't buying your sob story from post #1 of this thread, sweetie. I give you one thing. You are a real live Erica Kane for black people. | ||
| anonymous Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Here's my therory> Kola is one of those drama queens who needs so much constant attention that Thomas is got burnt out and she drove him away. She used her little boy in some way to make her scheme look innocent. I don't belive we have the whole story. The womans a notorious liar and craves speculation about herself. I read somewhere that she's got a screw loose and I belive it true. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 330 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Anonymous and Janine, you have no idea ....how very WRONG you both are. Although, I will admit that (for selfish reasons), I am glad that Thomas and his girlfriend broke up---I did not plan it to happen nor did I use my son in any shape, form or fashion. | ||
| Denice Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Ms. Kola, although I feel for your pain, it would seem you brought this all on yourself. Why do you assume he and his girlfriend are broken up? Who's to say that she doesn't feel like you do. She might think he's "a good black man". She might think she "needs" him. He might plead his case that you "seduced" him and tell her over and over how much he "loves" her and she might take him back just like you want to. Either way, you are both fools. A "good man" black or otherwise, doesn't betray a woman he loves. A "good" man doesn't force you to give up your dreams for his own selfish reasons. Why would a "good" man not want to support your career and your goals, unless of course he really isn't that "good" at all. A "good" man doesn't love you today and then turn your home and kitchen into his personal brothal and cafeteria tomorrow. And if he is so "in love" with you why would he be angry about anyone "girlfriend" or otherwise finding out that you two were together. If that's the kind of love you want for yourself then you need to learn how to deal with all this hurt because I can promise you there will be much more a head for you and your babies. And by the way, do you really think this sets a good example for your sons? Is Thomas' behavior what you want them to learn and emulate when they grow up and go into their own relationships? Are your personal needs so great that you wouldn't want a better example for you children to follow? Is how you're being treated by this man the way you want them to treat women later on? Your first mistake was believing you "needed" this man. You "need" to stand on your own two feet and figure out what Kola can do for Kola. Your second mistake was enslaving yourself just to have a man. What kind of bullshit is that from a woman who claims to be Queen of her own realm? Love is great, but if you don't love yourself first and love you more, then how in hell can you claim to love someone else? Clearly, your Thomas wants to move on. Let him go and move on with your own life. It will probably be the only "good" thing the ass will ever do for you and your boys. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 331 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Well, Deniece...ALL...that you have said is PART of the truth. But you have ignored the most important fact....and that is......I WANT HIM. Fool or not. And let's not forget that being the QUEEN of ones realm doesn't exempt a person from being human and being a fool...at some point. It's inevitable, unless you're a Bionic SuperWoman--which I am not. Thomas is not perfect--but of all the men that I had to choose from, he was the CLOSEST I could get to perfection. And...I WANTED HIM, I experienced much spiritual richness and pleasure in life BECAUSE of him. True...he is a sexist pig deep down underneath who is insecure and doesn't support my individuality, but because I became addicted to him, I spent many years overlooking that fact. DENIECE...you are right...that was MY FAULT. But as well....you have also conveniently left out the many positive EXAMPLES that Thomas and I have set IN FRONT of our sons over the past 8 years: 1) A black man moving heaven and earth to provide for his family---which he continues to do, without being asked or hunted down. 2) A father and mother who for many years were clearly affectionate and loving in front of their sons. Clearly a TEAM, teaching them and empowering them with the knowledge and beliefs that we had. 3) A father who praises women in front of his children---who teaches his sons to be gentlemen----who teaches his sons to take responsibility for their actions and their lives. 4) A mother who is a "womanist" and teaches her sons MANY, MANY things about the inner needs and desires of women....and how to accept women as fully developed human beings, something their father has not been able to do. And might I add---I have GREATER influence over these boys than Thomas does and they are NOT sexist like their father is. THESE THINGS...go right along with the negative. And nothing in life is EVER perfect. We cannot shield everything in our lives from our children and they will have to learn from the hard knocks just as we did. But I believe that our children are better off and have a higher self esteem and feel more powerful in the world.....than MOST children. IDEALS are just that, Deniece. "IDYLLIC". You plan your future...and then life steps in. Thomas, whatever kind of man he is---is my personal Candy. My weakness. I acknowledge that and I welcome your advice and the advice of others, but please understand that I am a human woman--with needs, weaknesses and frustrations just like any other woman. And I maintain that regardless of Thomas's cultural flaws....he is a GOOD man. A very good one. | ||
| Lily Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Kola, that was a great response. I do agree with Denise completely but I also think the breakup is too recent between you two and after eight years with a man and having two kids by him it's understandable that you have these weaknesses, as you describe it. I divorced my husband of 18 years four years ago. We still occasionally date and sleep together and I am very ashamed about it. With your children being so small and the father always coming around on weekends, it is not good and you will have a terrible time letting go. Perhaps you should have him pick up the boys and not visit in your presence and perhaps you should start dating other men so that you can visualize the possibility of starting over with someone else. Denise is right about him being an "ass". I don't think he will change because you are letting him have his cake and eat it too. The good thing is that you are admitting that you are weak to him and that you have a problem internally. Admitting this to yourself will help you down the road to get stronger. | ||
| Jackie Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
addictions can be harmful or even deadly... If you think he's going to change think again. I guess you have falling in love with Thomas's potential...and given his age...he ain't gonna change. Yeah, you're right no one is perfect, so you do have to prioritize what's more important to you "Your freedom to be yourself" or a woman that has to hide her true identity with her lifelong partner. Which is indeed a Greek tragedy. Soon the resentment will build...and well you can let your imagination run free there. You did say that you were seriously thinking about breaking Thomas and his girlfriend up. Congratulations...you did it just like you said. | ||
| Denice Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
You wanting him is well fine and good but by virtue of the very fact that he left you and took up with another woman would say he really doesn't WANT you, whether he claims to love you or not. Why would you put yourself through this for a man who doesn't WANT you as much? By his very reaction to this girlfriend finding out about the two of you sleeping together says he's more concerned with that woman's feelings than he has ever been about yours. I would think you would WANT a man who would put you, your children, and your needs FIRST. NOT someone else's. If you think that a man who would "terrify" a five year old child to get a confession out of him is a GOOD man, then I would hate to know what you would accept from a BAD one. Your children may very well have had 8 years of positive examples demonstrated by you and Thomas, and one would hope that would far outweigh the negative, but are they better off is yet to be seen. You may well have greater influence over your children than Thomas does but you don't know if they'll be sexist or not. They're only five and eight with many years ahead for them to form their own opinions. And whether you want to see it or not, what they are learning from their father and you is that no matter what a woman's inner needs and desires may be, that same woman will allow herself to be stepped on, abused, mistreated, degraded, and disregarded as long as they can make her believe they are her "personal Candy" and her "weakness" for him can be manipulated for his own personal agenda. They are learning that a woman who doesn't value herself first is a prime target for them to take advantage of and they will, because you are, you did, and if it's okay for mama no matter what her reasons, then it sure as hell must be okay for any other female too. Thomas may very well praise women in their presence, but when he turns around and treats women like crap, what is the real message he's sending and your boys are learning? And let's say Thomas does come back to you. What will be different? What will keep him for not doing the same thing six months from now when another younger, prettier woman catches his eye and excites his limp dick? What will your children learn from that? What you say is one thing, but children learn by example and what you demonstrate will far exceed what you may try to teach and tell them. Just like any other addiction, you can be "cured" of your habit for Thomas, but you have to want help first and I don't think you do. I think you like the hurt and the pain and everyone bemoaning "poor, poor Kola", because if you didn't you would have told Thomas' trifling ass to kiss your black one a long time ago. When you decided your writing was important to you and that your gift needed to be shared and you had to pretend it was a hobby because Thomas wasn't supportive of you is when you should have realized that Thomas was't a GOOD man but just another, pathetic excuse who needed to put you down to make himself feel like the man he wishes he could be. But if that's what you WANT, more power to you. Because bottom line, no one is perfect, we are all flawed, but you don't need to be a bionic superwoman to know you deserve better from any man who is truly worthy of your love. | ||
| Jackie Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
I stop giving grown folks advice a long long time ago...becuz they're gonna do what they want anyway. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 332 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Denise (and all), I totally appreciate your "constructive criticism", and trust me, I am listening to you. Your honesty is HELPING me. Still, the reality of being the one caught in the eye of the storm doesn't make it any easier for me to just wake up and do everything right. Just because I am caught in the moment this second--doesn't mean that I won't look back with the same exact view that you have and be able to completely stand on my own two feet. When I say..."I WANT HIM"...I am only being honest with you. I am not saying that I'm right or making the best choice for myself. I am doing the best I can, and trying to get some bit of love and joy for myself out of life as well--and trying to make my sons happy (they want their father back in the home) and to do WORK (my career) that I think is important. Most of the posters on here have attacked me Denise, no one is bemoaning "poor, poor Kola". Years ago--Thomas used to post here, and many of the regulars here knew us as a loving couple, so what you are hearing is the sadness people feel when yet another black couple (especially one with children) doesn't make it. Because Thomas has changed many of his attitudes over the last 8 years, and in some ways has gradually understood me more as an artist---it is difficult for me to believe that he won't eventually accept me having a career that surpasses HIS (which is his true fear) and having a public "feminist" perspective. Don't forget--I am the highest ranking woman in the Sudanese People's Liberation Army and will receive a Medal for my contributions next month....but the fact that we are both born from traditionally sexist African cultures, makes it hard for me to totally abandon the idea of HAVING A MAN...there is MUCH about Thomas that is good and worthy, and he has proven THROUGH 8 YEARS OF ACTIONS that he has a deep love for both me and the children. I would rather FIX a "mostly good" relationship than spend years trudging around trying to start a new one with someone who may not have the same flaws, but will surely have different ones. Overwhelmingly---most of my experiences with Thomas have been positive and loving, if not empowering. His insecurities are "sexist" and "non-supportive"....but these are attitudes that stem from FEAR and they could change with time and communication. In his eyes, there is ALWAYS great tenderness and love for me. He WANTS to feel differently...but there is a CULTURAL block. Lily, Thanks for your advice. I think yours is the most objective. Jackie, You made excellent points, too. Thanks and I am listening and gaining strength because of the honesty of you all. | ||
| cynique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
So what do you think about global warming? | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 334 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
LOL, Cynique. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 335 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
LOL, Cynique. | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Kola: "He lives INSIDE himself. I am an exhibitionist." LOL, Kola, allthough if I were your ex, I wouldn't appreciate it either if you discussed all these personal issues on the Internet... But since you do it anyway, I can as well comment on it. I'll be short, I basically agree with Denice's advice. And I totally believe you about your baby innocently phoning your ex's ex (or are they back together? Whatever the situation, DON'T make it long you more for him) I know someone who experienced a similar situation. This person was together with her boyfriend kissing and talking bf-gf-stuff to one another...untill after some time, she saw that her phone- that was all the time in her purse- had dialed the nr of her PARENTS! Afterwards she heard that her father had been listening to their private moment the whole time while the phone was on. And in her situation, it was also someone of the last persons she would want to have listening to their intimate moment as she never told her parents about the BF and was not planning to do it either. Apparently she forgot to block her 'phonebuttons' and some were 'coincidentally' pressed so that they phoned the total wrong person. I don't believe in coincidence and therefore don't believe that this was coincidence neither was it in your case. I think it was meant to be, for both the girl that heard all the stuff -so that she knows where she stands now, and for you too, because he has proved once again that his behaviour is NOT that of a good, responsible adult man. Whatever good stuff he has declaired about women and you in previous times was not very meaningful , because he never seems to live out what he preaches and neither do you, but I don't blame you for it, you're on the right track now. You just had a weak moment, but the disastrous ending confronted you again with the reality which was necessary to show you once again he's not right for you. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 337 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi Asherah. I'm so glad you posted----but I feel terribly, terribly melancholy. Because it's 4:36 a.m. here in S. California and I've just spent the whole night IN BED with Thomas.....again. I feel sick. In my stomach, because I truly feel out of control and totally without "direction". He came and brought me the money for the week this afternoon and filmed some footage of me and the boys for my upcoming DVD. We have horses (which I'm no good dealing with) and I had a lot of scenes with the horses--well the one I was walking wouldn't obey my lead and tried to stampede. I hurt my wrist and fell in the mud and horse shit and was dragged several feet. Anyway, he cleaned me up and apologized for everything that happened the other night and he stayed for dinner, of course. We DID NOT discuss our "status"-----we simply had dinner, enjoyed a few hours of long conversation, and after the boys went to bed, we went down to the river and made love on the clay bank. Then we came home, had a shower and slept together. I feel so heady and confused that I got up and had some milk. Believe it or not...because I'm trying to drop 10 pounds for the Medal Ceremony on April 16th....I am MOST worried about all the calories that I ate tonight, and because of him---I missed my 5 mile walk. GOD. I just feel sooooo......I can't explain it. Adrift at sea with no direction. | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
My God, this IS confusing Kola! And wasn't this supposed to be your second break-up with Thomas? I mean before summertime, didn't you 2 seperated already once? | ||
| Anonymous Rating: N/A |
--Bet Kola is cracking up over the postings/exchanges/responses to this thread. The scenario that she initiated & continues to fuel with various twist & turns reflects her delusional mind or her creative writing ability. Remember only her side of the story, that cannot be verified, is presented. She's taking us for a ride!! | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 339 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Anonymous, Everyone here KNOWS that if there was anyway to get TomTrojan's side, I would do that. I'm not taking anyone for a ride. I'm simply telling what's going on with me as objectively as I can.  Hi Asherah. YES. We had broken up twice before. The first time for 6 weeks, the second time for 3 months. THIS TIME is the longest at 7 months. We get along fabulously; have incredible chemistry----only problem is his insecurity over my career and his REBELLION against it. Last summer when I spoke at the Sudanese Embassy and Danny Glover was arrested---is when he got upset (because I left him & the kids to go on tour) and he was hearing all kinds of publicity about me. We broke up. I honestly don't have a CLUE of what is going on or what will come of these latest developments. But after 7 months with no sex....I can't lie....I am selfishly enjoying having the attention to my body.  TODAY he's gone with my father to check on a possible home for my parents. But tonight, when they get back---he and I---are going out to dinner to "talk". Neither of us is very sure of ourself; both confused and dazed and frustrated with our disagreements. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 340 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: |
The filming of the DVD------I am NOT enjoying it. We did my kids and me yesterday. Baking bread underground (all our bread is homemade, done by me and the boys outdoors)...and feeding and walking our horses. My sons are so intelligent and sweet and protective of me. They both look EXACTLY like their father, though.  The actual Medal of Honor event has been moved to April 16th and we're having TONS of trouble with the Sudanese over what we can and cannot film. It's a major problem as they try to get a script down pat. I am glad that members of my Egyptian family (the Arabs) are coming to salute me...but at the same time, I feel the most gnawing bitterness and hate towards them. I despise them so much for their colorism and for supporting my Egyptian grandmother in putting me up for adoption----because I look "black" and she looks "Turkish". This, I think, has been the most devastating thing in my life and has followed me everywhere. I did not realize how deeply I still hurt until my Egyptian side wanted to come and honor me. I hate them. | ||
| ABM Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Kola, You know I love MANY things about you. But you deserve to have your @$$ whipped for what you're doing to Thomas here. | ||
| cynique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Jesus Christ! Has ABM been resurrected just in time for Easter?? 'Guess that cracked egg Kola stirred his passion... | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 343 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Well, well..well.....KING ABM himself. If doing this to Thomas was enough to bring you out of hybernation-----then I'm glad I did. And perhaps if you hadn't run off to god knows where like some footloose Polo boy in search of himself....IIIIII.......would have had good, sound advice from a MAN who knows what moves to make. But no...you're just like Thomas. You left me alone to fend for myself and then you don't like the results when I needed you to be here in the first place. Go on and take up for Thomas all you want. He's being WHIPPED all right. | ||
| Kola Boof Regular Poster Username: Kola_boof Post Number: 41 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM---just seeing your name on this board has filled me with so much joy and excitement. I sent Thomas back to his apartment tonight (we went out to dinner), but if I had known that your post was waiting for me up on the bedroom PC, I would have had him stay the night just to take my joy out on him. I feel like I've received roses and I can't stop smiling. Wow. Now I can't sleep! This is all so exciting. I was so lonely and sad and now ALL my men are coming back! | ||
| Kola Boof Regular Poster Username: Kola_boof Post Number: 42 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM SAID: you deserve to have your @$$ whipped for what you're doing to Thomas here. KOLA: And just WHAT...prey tell....am I doing to Thomas? | ||
| Lily Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Uhm. Who the hell is ABM? and what just happened? Is this Kola's ex-husband? Cynique---you are my favorite poster on here. You are so funny! | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Yeah, and how long were you with him anyway? have you had the big "talk" yet, Kola? You look great on the pics, no need to worry about your looks! | ||
| asherah Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Now, we don't only have the keepers of the flame, but also Kola's REALITY SOAP ;) | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 344 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: |
Hi ASHERA, No, Thomas and I didn't have the big "talk" yet---we were too busy swooning and staring into each other's eyes last night, which is the problem, actually. We have so much "fire" between us that we tend to think we can just live off that. I will press the issue later. But for now, I'm having MAJOR problems with the making of my DVD. I had to come out of character and play the bitch role this morning. And I'm serious when I say that it's out of character for me. Anyway...I had to insist that Door of Kush FIRE our director---a German man named Rainer Doost. He's just too eccentric and I'm too eccentric and we don't get along, although God knows I've tried. He over stepped his bounds last night and went over my head to the SPLA Commander-----typical Male Sexist behavior------totally ignoring the fact that I OUT-RANK everyone involved with the Medal Ceremony. He tried to have the SPLA force me to do things "HIS WAY". He was fired 17 minutes ago. Hopefully, I will be able to persuade Donovan Salmon (a black filmmaker from Jamaica who I really like) to step in and take over the project. Only problem is....he has to do it for no money. So we will see. ______________  LILY----- ABM is my cyber boyfriend that I met here 3 years ago. He's also my psychiatrist in a way. We're VERY close and for a good while we kept people coming to this board with our Tracy-Hepburn antics and bantering----note: ABM is another black sexist that I have FANTASTIC "chemistry" with. Unfortunately, he is happily married to someone else. But he has 2 daughters and I have 2 sons---so our kids may marry. Who knows. | ||
| cynique Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Lily says: "Cynique---you are my favorite poster on here. You are so funny!" Cynique replies: "Don't encourage me, Lily, or I'll get out of hand," like when Kola says: "ABM is my cyber boyfriend ... and for a good while we kept people coming to this board with our Tracy-Hepburn antics and bantering," - and cynique replies: Tracey and Hepburn, my eye. More like Whitney and Bobby. | ||
| Nyibol Newbie Poster Username: Africanqueen Post Number: 20 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi Kola! I'm so glad he's back in the house and with you:D You and the kids need as much as you can have of him around. I don't think a career is capable of breaking up 2 people so in love. He's gona have to make your career the only meal he prepares for you;). You need his support. Breaking him up with that girl was ugly, but someone had to belong somewhere. Maybe this girl is better off w/o him considering that she was so young and Thomas has a wife and 2 children already. If I were that girl I would have thought deeply before even considering to get involved with him. But well things happen. I hope the ceremony will go really well. I know you're working very hard. Let me know if you need anything. TTYL. | ||
| Xosha Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
Kola, you nasty. Stop telling what "cut" girls do, milady. Nasty! Embarrassing. hada duwi! | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 364 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi Nyibol. Love you and will call you soon. SO BUSY. Hard to remember to telephone. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 365 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
God, how I hate going to church! Blech! But Thomas is Christian (and a regular churchgoer) and it's Easter Sunday, so he's taking me and the boys to church.  I really hope I can get through this. We have to do the church ceremony, then have an easter egg hunt and then.....dinner at his Mother's Church. His Mom and I get along fantastically, though. For myself....I got up at 5 this morning and went down to the river to speak directly to JESUS. I put one of my prayers in a bed of wysteria (on a wire raft) and pushed that out into the current. HAPPY EASTER everyone.  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 368 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
Sunday night. Time for Bed. All I can say is...it really is......a Happy Easter. (Wink) Don't know where all this is leading---BUT, I actually enjoyed CHURCH and it's nice not to sleep alone after all these months. We ARE NOT back together...although it feels as though we've never been apart. So hard to explain. It's all so cloudy and quiet. Cruise control. Very little talking. But NICE. really nice _____________________ DENISE and Jackie and Lily, I KNOW I'm a "Fool", but it sure feels good right now. And besides...I have no expectations. I'm just going along with the moment. | ||
| ABM Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
See...THIS is exactly the reason why you should have eschewed posting the (excruciating) details of your relationship with Thomas. Because not only have you unnecessarily manage to embarrass yourself, which you'd probably admit to enjoying on some level, but you've potentially humiliated Thomas (who's by most indications a good, though flawed, man) and your sons. | ||
| ABM Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
...still, I hope you had a Happy Easter!  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 370 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM you're right. | ||
| Janine Unregistered guest Rating: N/A |
SMH As I said before, Kola. You're a Black Erica Kane. Infantile, selfish, egotistical, man-chasing, obsessed with your looks, talkative, petulant, overbearing. I don't consider you a feminist. You're too weak. For the record. I still say that you schemed and set that child up to break up his dad and the girlfriend. You're exactly the type to use innocent kids to do your dirty work and think nothing of it. Cynique's right on the money about your delusions of grandeur. This whole board is like KOLA CITY or something. Oh, and now this ABM guy strolls up and you love him too. He's your "boyfriend", "my men are coming back", etc. SMH I bet Thomas is still boffing his other women at the same time you're playing chocolate easter bunny and thinking you're special. Sad,sad, sad. You're so predictable I'm outta here. Have a nice life, Erica Kane. You sure are a disappointment. | ||
| ABM "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2161 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Kola says: "ABM is my cyber boyfriend ... and for a good while we kept people coming to this board with our Tracy-Hepburn antics and bantering," Cynique says: “Tracey and Hepburn, my eye. More like Whitney and Bobby.” ABM says: Haha! True dat, Cynique! And you portrayed one of “Bobby’s” (MANY) scheming baby-mamas. | ||
| ABM "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2162 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cynique says: “Jesus Christ! Has ABM been resurrected just in time for Easter?? 'Guess that cracked egg Kola stirred his passion...“ HAHA! Funny. I have inspired phrases like “Oh GAWD!” and “LAWD Jesus!” from a few fortunate women. And it occurred while we were getting ‘biblically’ acquainted. So poaching Kola’s ‘eggs’ isn’t much trouble at’all. (I know the bible-thumpers out there are saying “Oh ye, blasphemer…burn thee in h*ll!”) | ||
| ABM "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 2165 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
To her credit, Kola freely/openly admits to weaknesses that all of us, including the most devout “feminist”, have. Kola’s troubles don't disqualify her as being a “feminist”. They just mean she’s an imperfect human being...just like the rest of us. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 379 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
JANINE, I noticed you posted some other shit all over my board this morning........how absolutely typical of your type.....BUT.......try to post now bitch. Yes, I answered your question about "cocksucking" over the PLEASING MR. JOHNSON thread. TAh TAh, WHY-N-CH and good riddance. |
