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Kola Boof
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 12:40 am: | 
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WARNING:
This thread contains XXXX RATED content. Do not enter this thread unless you are willing to enter with a Butt-Naked mind and a horny heart.
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Kola Boof
Unregistered guest
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 12:42 am: |
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Kola Boof
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 12:43 am: |
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So often when women get together....we exchange recipes on how to make our favorite meals, our most impressive dishes.
Right now, however, I'm asking women to share their RECIPES FOR.....OUT OF THIS WORLD SEX.
That's right. What do YOU do to tease, coddle and PLEASE your man's "Mr. Johnson"?
Since most of you know that I've very recently become single and am struggling to GET OVER the love of my life (my children's wonderful father).....you probably won't be surprised by me telling you that the LAST THING on my mind is having sex.
For it seems that after you part with a great love, you have this lethargy whereby---IF it's not with him---you don't want it.
That's how I feel, and frankly, I'm not at my optimum sexuality right now and don't have any recipes to offer right now. I feel like I'm FRIGID.
But hopefully, others can lull me back to life by reminding us all just how SWEET it can be.
Whether it's getting Beast-Fucked by a 50 Cent Look-a-like or making the Sweetest Love with a Denzel Washington-type dream daddy....or having something REALLY freaky (like taking on 2 brothers at the same time)....PLEASE share with us some of your
RECIPES............
FOR OUT OF THIS WORLD SEX!
OH.....and all the MEN dropping by, please feel free to offer your recipes for....How To Put the HOLY GHOST up in Miss Coochy. After all, she enjoys orgasms jus as much as Mr. Johnson does.
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Russell Newman
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 02, 2005 - 02:15 pm: |
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BOY o BOY on this one.
I'll be back to check on it.
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asherah
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, February 05, 2005 - 11:29 am: |
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nice pic (woman on top), Kola!!  ))
I like that very much, we see too much pics with women in the submissive role which I don't like.
And especially because it's a black woman bossing over a black man, such images are good for our subconscious mind.(I don't like women dressed in tight latex on enormous high heels 'bossing' over men though, as she then lowers herself by being depicted as a sexobject that can rule over men only by using her sexappeal, I prefer looking at men who are depicted as the brainless sexobjects behaving like the little, humiliated attractive boy in proportion to his female tutor) |
kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 103
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 06, 2005 - 01:03 pm: |
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Thanks Asherah.
And you're here just in time.
Your character debuts on our soap "Keepers of the Flame" on MONDAY--Episode #4.
Have you been checking out the soap opera board?
Asherah is the cousin of Sisgal. Here's her pic.
ASHERAH
SISGAL
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asherah
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 23, 2005 - 10:53 am: |
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Nice ladies.
I haven't checked the soap opera board yet,
but just thought about posting some pics of a handsome boy here.
Do you know the bachata music group "Aventura"?
I like their music very much, especially because of the beautiful voice of the sexy,attractive leadsinger: Anthony (aka Romeo) Santos
You probably know that song 'Obsession'..
 Aventura, with in front Anthony in red
 Anthony singing:p
Anthony dancing with a fan.. LOL |
kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 205
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 24, 2005 - 03:48 pm: |
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Hi ASHERA,
No..I never heard of these boys.
I wish I knew Anthony Santos so that I could tell him how much you like him.
What would you do with him??? (laughing)
Do you like younger men???
I DO.
But I can't lie. I feel like a nun since I broke up with Thomas.
I feel TOTALLY unattractive now and I don't even look at men....at the post office/the bait store/driving by on the road.
I just feel "un-fuckable"--as though ONLY HE can do it.
I feel miserable and I don't know how to restore myself.
A lot of men from around the country conversate with me regularly--really nice, handsome black men (a few famous ones!)---but I just don't have the courage or the confidence to go and meet one of them as an "available shortie"...LOL.....you know.
I feel like I'm OLD now. And it hurts to feel this way.
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asherah
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 10:25 am: |
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hi Kola,
what would I do with Anthony ..?
Well, I haven't had wild sex fantasies about him yet.
He's just an attractive boy and the only fantasies I 've had about Anthony is me having the same singing talent as him and then we would sing together on stage, seducing the audience with our sex attractiveness. LOL
Up till now, I haven't been that much into younger guys..(I'm only 25 myself)maybe when I'm older ;)
I defenitely like that new trend of older women having relationships with those young 'toy boys'. ;p
I'm sure your feelings of unattractiveness will go away within time when you'll get over your ex, Kola.
You just haven't met the right guy yet that will make you feel irresistable again ;)
I think actually that a lot of men are impressed by your appearance (and I bet you know this yourself, as I thought I read that somewhere on your website..?)
The first times I saw pictures of you on your website, I really did not know whether this was really you or a waxen doll (like in the Madame Tussauds museum) that represented Kola Boof. Have people told you this before?
I have been checking the first page of the "keepers of the flame", since you mentioned it here. I felt a little bit insulted though when I saw that pic of MOON-RIND (I'm white myself) and the text that went with it.
I bet you meant it to be humouristic and as being black yourself, you're used to be confronted with these type of things(and worse) the other way around, but I just wanted to tell you how I felt in all honesty, because I respect your honest approach to life too.
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kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 228
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 10:52 am: |
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Well, ASHERA----there is a poster here named "MoonSigns" who is white and she and I have had some knock down drag out fights on the board, so the barb was more at her than at all white women.
But I really don't blame you for being insulted (and because I like you so much, I will end this post with a sincere apology and a "confession")...but in a small way...I'm sure that I subconciously meant for white women to get a taste of their own medicine while reading the soap.
I mean-----over at ABC, NBC and CBS, we black women been watching the same degrading SOAP OPERA images for decades and decades, day after day....soaps in which black women are not even represented (unless by a yellow skinned mulatto actress who doesn't have much of a part to begin with). Unlike "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES"....."Keepers of the Flame" is chock full of beautiful black women who would NEVER be allowed to be shown on a real t.v. soap as full fledged charcters. And as well--there would be no shampoo commercials inbetween with black women shampooing their afros (you can't have hair commercials without long flowing European hair, right?)----So it's that reality which makes it hard for me to sympathize with white women's feelings.
UNLIKE "US", White Women have a whole gigantic world of ENDLESS media to dispel whatever images that mean little Kola creates.
And most of the black characters on "Keepers of the Flame" are treated just as MOON-RIND was treated....check out Mama Linda, Carey, Cynique and her mother OLD YELLER. Those are just as flagrant as the shot of MoonRind.
Still, because I like you personally (and DID assume that you were black), I'm really sorry and I apologize for hurting someone that "I" care about.
And I've never denied having my prejudices against white people. I most certainly DO. It's not that I dislike them or don't love them---it's just that I resent them so much and I hold them responsible for MOST of the destruction of my people. Of the sorrows of MY CHILDREN, their children benefit every moment.
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kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 229
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 10:54 am: |
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Also---
please feel free to post your own THREADS on this board, because that way we can get more input on topics that others find compelling. I really don't want this to be a "Kola" board.
I'm just the moderator--and anything goes.
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asherah
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 11:46 am: |
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Well, I must say, you did succeed in giving me a taste of what you are confronted with day in, day out, and it's not pleasant for people who aren't blind for it.
I understand your way of hitting back in your soap. I feel a lot of the time, the urge to do the same back to men as what they did to us, women. And then I HATE it when they get aggressive again, because you can't even give just a small tiny thing back to them in comparision of what they did to us, without being smashed again and being called a 'man-hater'.
At the moment, I actually can empathize with men more of how they feel when being 'attacked' by women, or accussed of being a patriarchal pig(when they may not PERSONALLY have something to do with how society treats women).
I accept your apologies, Kola, because I like you too and I can empathize with your way of reacting in your soap, I just had to say it or I wouldn't respect myself anymore.
I'm not going to dig any deeper into this subject matter for now, or I would be rambling on for too long and I'm not in the mood for it either.
And to keep this thread back ON topic.
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kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 233
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 12:21 pm: |
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LOL
Click here:
http://www.thumperscorner.com/discus/messages/2152/4163.html?1109870422 |
Janine
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 29, 2005 - 11:08 am: |
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Kola Boof, you SUCK COCK real good right?
Because your vagina is mutilated from African ritual circumcision and you had to learn how to be an A-1 "cocksucker" to avoid the pain of being entered vaginally, right?
LMAO
So there's nothing wrong with us referring to you as Ms. Cocksucker, right?
THE KOOL ROOM hosted by Kola Cocksucker.
I tell you what. Why don't you give us some sex tips on how to suck dicks? I really could use a LOT of tips on that. I'm no good at all at it.
Tell us Kola. What's the best ways to suck men's dicks? You have special instructions on ball-licking, too, I'm sure.
Please post some of your HOME PHOTOS where you're deep-throating a big penis. I bet your face makes a nice big horse pucker.
LMAO
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Janine
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 29, 2005 - 11:17 am: |
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Ever heard of the rapper Too Short?
He has this one song, Kola:
"The bitch sucks dick!"
LMAO
I think that should be your anthem now.
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kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 376
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 29, 2005 - 12:41 pm: |
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Thanks for the compliments, Janine.
Actually, I'm even BETTER than what you describe.
But when it comes to TIPS on how to get fucked in the face, I think I'll keep those bon nots for myself, dearest. I'd rather the men dream about taking a ride in MY MOUTH...instead than yours.
The trick with the "balls", though, is to get the whole shaft down your throat and then dart-lick the balls (you need a lot of spit to wet them good) and then you suck those balls right in under the shaft....and then you go back to suction-popping the actual HEAD (the mushroom) while you're stimulating the balls and shaft at the same time---but you have to be really careful with your TEETH and your breathing intervals or you won't have staying power. Doing the balls takes practice and skill, yes---but if you do it right, you can bring TEARS to a man's eyes---I don't care how big and macho he is.
So glad you asked.
'Cuz you know Kola Cocksucker is ALWAYS ready to own up to it.
________________
Keep fucking with me White Bitch.
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Tbaby
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 30, 2005 - 03:56 pm: |
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Hi Kola, I love the pic showing the man in a submissive role. I think most men love a woman who takes control. They're just not quick to admit it. |
kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 411
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 30, 2005 - 04:26 pm: |
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Glad you liked it, Tbaby.
I'm the total opposite, actually, craving the submissive role...
....so I don't know what made me choose that photo. I guess I like the guy's rear end the way it's sticking out like that and he must have a strong back?
I'm a fool, though, for big bossy macho guys.
Thanks for posting and welcome.
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Mahogany Anais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 254
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 29, 2005 - 11:54 pm: |
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Okay, since we're all up...
There are certain issues I haven't had to think about, oh, in the last FIFTEEN YEARS or so, but it comes a time in every newly single woman's life that she has to ask about...
Oral sex and condoms.
Now. I've been taking an informal survey, just talking to men and women, and I'm hearing some interesting stuff:
Nobody uses condoms when giving head (this doesn't surprise me, because just intuitively, I figure, what's the point?). But what *does* surprise me is how cavalier men and women are about this. TWO guys have said they were told/read that stomach acid neutralizes HIV. Now, I know oral sex has a lower HIV transmission rate than vaginal and anal, but I haven't read anything like that.
Sounds like something guys say to persuade women, like back in the day a guy would tell a potential lover that he'd had the mumps (or was it the measles?) and was therefore sterile.
Anyway...the other thing is where oral sex *ranks*. Back in the olden days when I was a teenager (the '80s), oral sex was a BIG DEAL. Good girls didn't. Intercourse was cool but oral was "nasty."
Now kids are having oral sex in middle school, because it's "safer" and "not really sex". Do we have our Former Philander-in-Chief to thank for this?
Also, amongst adults I've been talking to the women kind of split down the middle: some will give head to guys they won't sleep with, other's it's just the opposite.
Almost without exception, the guys seem to give indiscriminately. ;-)
Anyway...thoughts? |
kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 676
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 01:22 am: |
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Wow.
LOOOOOL.
Oral sex is BIG with girls whose vaginas are infibulated. ****Smile*****
So, I never thought it was nasty. I do consider it "sex"....very much so. I don't get that bullshit about it not being real sex just because guys like to cheat and claim they didn't.
But only give HEAD to a man who is really, really important to me-----that I feel is special.
What I do not like....is receiving HEAD.
Many women don't understand that, but my nerve endings are ALL inside and mostly in a secure spot. I really need penetration, as painful as it is, to "come". I can't come from licking me, as most women are the opposite.
Luckily, I love giving head though. I miss doing Thomas-----BUT-----even though he really misses it, too, I just won't let him come over here anymore that way.
I'm enjoying watching him squirm and beg with puppy dog eyes now that he's dating a younger more docile woman----but finding that he can't get the tight tiny twat and the pulsating cock vaccuming that he's so used to.
Too bad.
WELLL GIRL---U asked.
And just think. Poor ABM can't even turn us out up in here....like he would normally do.
LOL
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ABM
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2456
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 10:29 am: |
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I'm not touching THIS one with a 10-inch pole. |
kola@aalbc.com
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 678
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 11:19 am: |
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NASTY
Mahogany....
I think that because of SLAVERY....Black American and West African women are very "conservative" when it comes to sex. They over-obsess about their image and what people will think about them. Many of them are pruddish and they segregate their personalities---so that their sexuality only shows at a certain time.
North African and East African women, the ones who are free from religious guilt or religious hostage......are like a combination of a White woman and Asian woman. We come from a sensual, tropical world that was once presided by "Goddess religions". We are more mishievous and very submissive. We believe that a woman MUST HAVE sexual power within the society or the society doesn't prosper and receive blessings.
I notice that West African women think things are "nasty" too and you see the segregated personality----all business while at work/all churchy when in church/a little naughty at parties or in private with man. The different parts separated.....whereas I can pray to God and cook for my kids and be sugar-nippled and teasingly doe-eyed all while giving a book presentation.
I believe it's the result of Black American women being raped, not protected and then BLAMED for their own rape----and that's what caused the FAT MAMMY women to appear. They made themselves look that way to escape their master's lust, and over hundreds and hundreds of years---it became genetically INBRED. Also, Christianity and Victorian Culture destroys a woman's sexual avarice.
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ABM
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2476
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2005 - 08:57 am: |
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Kola,
WOW!
Nicely stated.
And all the while I thought sistahs were just playing hard to get. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 718
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:00 pm: |
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Well Mahoghany.
I learned my best HEAD-giving tricks from hanging around with GAY guys.
"HOW TO SUCK A MAN'S DICK"
They used to take these BIG kosher dill pickles
and take a candy cane and stick it in the center---forcing the candy cane half way through the pickle.
PAY CLOSE ATTENTION:
THEN....break it off at the top and pull out the top part so that there's an empty PEE-hole at the top of the pickle....but IN THE CENTER OF THE "INSIDES" of the pickle....there's a piece of candy cane.
THEN...you have to suck that pickle UNTIL you can suck that piece of candy all the way out of the pickle USING ONLY YOUR MOUTH and JAW MUSCLES.
***That's one way to practice---and it's really a good EXCERSIZE for sucking black dicks, because it's usually a lot harder sucking black dicks----they often are larger, and because of that, the "blood" that makes the penis hard doesn't flow as quickly into the dick making it easier to grasp and suck......so you have to massage the back of a black man's legs and cusp his buttocks in towards your face to get his blood into his dick...making it easier for you to suck out the candy and
If you can deep throat and let him fuck you in the face really fast, that's another way---but it takes skill to endure a FACE-FUCK.
I can't deep throat if I've had a meal or if I'm on my period. But if I drink hot tea on an empty stomach---I can deep throat.
A good way to make a guy come "fast" if you don't feel like sucking too long....is to first, (a) LICK THE HEAD OF HIS MUSHROOM--only the head--REAL HARD, like you're licking an ice cream...BOLD, HARD STROKES against just the head....BUT...from time to time, stick the head in your mouth (make a LOT of spit in your mouth, really wet)......**this doesn't take JAW MUSCLE action yet, so it's easy......NEXT: Take his whole dick into your mouth as far as you can...enveloping the "staff" with your wet mouth....then DART poke your tongue at his BALLS (his SCROTUM)...try to pull his balls into your mouth UP UNDER his dick and suck at the same time. Massage and rub back of his legs and buttocks. If you have BIG TITTIES....there's a LOT you can be doing with those...get his foot in your pussy while you're sucking him and be rubbing it with your pudding while you're sucking. Kiss and suck his KNEE-caps and gyrate his foot inside your pussy TO CATCH YOUR BREATH.
Blow on his dick head---then resume sucking. Like that.
Make a lot of nasty noises. Like how Venus and Serena scream on the tennis court. Men get off on whorish noises---but it can't be FAKE. You have to sound like authentically INSATIABLE---not dirty, but "insatiable".
TIPS:
One thing I hate are women who do a blowjob with "curlers" in their hair or Noxema on or a frowning face.
You should always make up your face, start with a "SMILE"---a "grateful" smile---and display your titties when you do a blowjob. If you need a Push-Up bra...USE ONE. But titty nipples should be pressing against his knees or legs. If he's sitting down, then make sure your ASS is raised up behind you as far as you can raise it. Let him spank it with a T.V. GUIDE or something while you're sucking.
Lick the balls A LOT.
I don't know what kind of man you have. I could give better tips if I knew his personality/disposition. I always chose DOMINANT guys, so my tips work best with them.
I always tell women. If you're not a good "cook" in the kitchen or if your pussy is no longer tight because of having too many kids----give really good head.
As I said....I always reserved "head" for ONLY the men who were very very special to me.
You really have to decide HOW BAD do you want a man and "head" should be one of your WEAPONS---just like learning to cook certain "dishes" that no other woman can cook, to get him hooked on your good food. These skills....are WEAPONS.
As "feminists", however, we DECIDE when we want to use these WEAPONS and for what purposes----if it's a man you really want, then giving dynamite blow jobs DEFINITELY weakens his resolve.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2503
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:16 pm: |
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Kola,
Perhaps the very BEST ways to a man's heart is via his @#$%.
'Course, a 16 oz Prime Rib, twice baked potato drippin' with sour cream/chives/butter and a 32 mug of lager works too.
Hehe! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2504
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:18 pm: |
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Fellas,
Don't you just LOVE woman who enjoys her work? |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 719
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:39 pm: |
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Dick-sucking is NOT a "white girl" thing. It's an East African thing. You guys love Ethiopia so much---show respect for dicksucking.
__________
In Ethiopia and Kenya, the Luolo, Kiku and Falasha women have an excellent excersize for tightening your vagina after having kids.
Take 3 marbles, not small ones but large ones (but still smaller than a golf ball) and put Lubricant on all 3 and put them in your vagina.
(Not using lubricant is CHEATING).
You have to hold the marbles in your vagina for 14 hours STRAIGHT....every day....for a year-----and ESPECIALLY---while you're using the bathroom, you MUST keep the marbles in place. (If you do 30 crunches a day along with the marble holding, it should only take 6 months to get a tightened pussy).
You already KNOW to douche with vinegar and water regularly. And again----the abdominal muscles are EXTEMELY important for maintaining vaginal control.
If you can't clutch a man's dick with authority, it's no fun being a woman.
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Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 279
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:50 pm: |
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Kola,
Talk about a recipe! *taking notes*
About his personality...gotta be dominant for me. Which reminds me of something you wrote earlier in another thread:
One HUGE problem is that Black American women, although they look like and ACT just like African women----often have totally different priorities, they no longer have the responsibilities that a Mother/Wife would have in an African society, therefore things that are of the UTMOST importance to me (the planting and preservation of the SEED)----are often things that they rarely ever think about.
I'm finding that my *traditional* nature (caring for my kids, the fact that I love to cook and do *domestic* stuff) is very appealing. Not because I'm anyone's doormat, but precisely the opposite: I can do Domestic (being a Southern woman at heart, that comes naturally), but I am also bright and challenging in other areas. At first, I thought it was just an epidemic of men wanting their "Mommies" (and of course there are those), but I'm realizing that it goes deeper than that.
But again, as you indicated, sincerity is a must. If domesticity is simply not *you*, then so be it.
A girlfriend of mine marvels at her stepmother. She waits on my friend's father hand and foot, and expects other women to treat their men accordingly when they are under her roof. And she does so seemingly effortlessly and it's obvious she adores her husband. My friend said at first she balked at how this woman catered to her dad and expected my friend, in turn, to cater to her husband. But eventually, my friend came to find the dynamic to be incredibly sexy (and so did her husband): serving a man who is worthy to be served and appreciative of it.
A while back, I quoted to ABM one of my favorite Joni Mitchell lyrics:
You don't like weak women, you get bored so quick/
And you don't like strong women 'cause they're hip to your tricks
I think men--strong black men--appreciate a woman who will tell him "you're full of shit", but is just as quick to reward him with her skill, wit, and intellect in the bedroom, the kitchen, and everywhere else. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 280
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 10:55 pm: |
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Kola,
That marble thing makes Kegel exercises sound like child's play! |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 723
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 11:27 pm: |
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Wow Mahogany. Couldn't have said it better myself.
And just to let you know....
Right before I met Thomas, I was a wild woman---living between London and Barcelona---I had SEVERAL boyfriends....
When I met Thomas and fell for him, got pregnant, moved in with him in California....I was initially PRETENDING to be a "domestic" type to win him over (he had another girlfriend in the beginning, poor thing).
Being that he's from BELIZE, his main requirement for a "mate" is that she be a housewife.
Now the funny thing is....to my shock and everybody's shock......I really LOOOOOOOVED being a housewife. I took to it like a fish to water! It stopped being a Scheme.
I love gardening, cooking (I was a pro since childhood, though), I'm great at making arts and crafts---not big on cleaning----but I love being a stay at home mom, doing a lot of stuff with the boys and WRITING----I had so much freedom and time to really WRITE, because of Thomas----and then he ALWAYS set me up in such beautifully peaceful, tranquil locations.
And then cooking and pampering Thomas when he got home was a piece of cake. He's like ABM---"talkative", so that was our main strong suit, we loved each other's conversation. And Thomas was just so intelligent and sweet----as long as I let him be KING; he would do whatever I wanted.
So I do believe that women can be "feminists" and still have traditional relationships with men. I didn't really BECOME MYSELF until I became a Home Mom----and although Thomas's sexism did eventually break us up (being under Protection/forbiding I go further with my writing career).....I do want to maintain this type of lifestyle as a House Mother---I have 2 vegetable gardens, I have a flower garden, I have my own "river" and horses. I LOVE IT.
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Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 282
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 11:37 pm: |
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Kola, your life sounds sweet.
Despite their current back-pedaling to the contrary, typical 2nd wave feminists made domesticity Public Enemy #1. And if their unexamined racism didn't put them at odds with black women, that sure did. Working--in and outside of the home--was never *optional* for us, so right there you're talking apples and plantains.
Not that we always whistled while we worked, nor should we have, but the home for us was not generally a "gilded cage." For black women, domestic tasks were just a given, as natural as breathing. So domesticity didn't have to be at odds with our sexuality, for example. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2513
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 03, 2005 - 11:57 pm: |
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Kola: "If you can't clutch a man's dick with authority, it's no fun being a woman."
ABM: Kola Boof is more than just a name; it's a way of life. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 726
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 12:15 am: |
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Curious
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 12:19 am: |
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Jeeze, I just checked this thread out. Talk about much ado about nothin. This step-by-step method on how to be a contortionist in 5 easy lessons is a bit clinical. Sounds exhausting and mechanical. Ain't nothin like a good ol spontaneous quickie on the floor in a missionary position. And, if on occasion, a woman is amenable to oral sex, then all she has to do is what comes naturally. Hopefully, she's a woman with "good hands" and an imaginative tongue. I'm signing myself as "Curious" because I still don't appreciate how on this site, my screen name makes people accessible to my profile. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 727
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 12:25 am: |
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GREAT POST Curious.
__________
ABM---
I've posted the photo above---because I believe after the July 1st DEBUT of my new online "Video Short"....I will no longer be the "Garbo" image above....but more of a mix of Brigitte Bardot, Gloria Steinem and Clair Huxtable. Well maybe the husky voice will still evoke "Garbo".
I hope.
LOL
I can't wait for you and DESTINED too see me!!!!!!
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Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 728
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 01:22 am: |
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Curious---
People who don't have any sex (like me right now) like to talk a LOT about it.
Humor me.
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Jackie
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 01:42 am: |
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another way to strenghten/tighten the vaginal muscles is while you're sitting on the toilet and urinating...control the flow of the urine by stopping and going stopping and going. You can always practice while your man's penis is inside of you and of course both of you have climaxed already. Clutch it with authority like Kola says. Clutch, let go, clutch, let go....
LOL about the peppermint in the pickle. When I was a young girl me and my childhood friends used to buy pickles at the corner store and put candy canes in them...and all this time I was training on how to suck a man's dick ? Who knew ? |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2521
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 08:23 am: |
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Jackie: "...my childhood friends used to buy pickles at the corner store and put candy canes in them...and all this time I was training on how to suck a man's dick ? Who knew?"
ABM: And THAT's why kids should study hard. Because a 'good' education can be applied in an abounding assortment of activities. |
Jackie
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 12:23 pm: |
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ABM-Funny, funny LOL |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2523
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 07:07 pm: |
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Kola: “If you can't clutch a man's dick with authority, it's no fun being a woman.”
ABM: And ditto if you’re her man.
And I agree there’re are but a few things worse that a woman can be to a man than a sourpuss d*#$sucker (a sourpuss d*#$BITER we be an example of something worse). Talkin’ about raining on a brothah’s parade. (“Hey. You know what? Dayam! Ouch. [“I think I’m bleeding.”] F*#$! Okay. Okay. Just forget it! And get the h*ll off me so I can try to get some sleep! [“’Cause I’ll catch-up with your BJ-friendly homey Janet tomorrow at noon.”]”)
You mentioned women should while getting their freak-on attempt to feign the guttural sounds of tennis greats Serena/Venus Williams. But I have a better pick than either of the Williams’ sistahs.
Former tennis star Monica Seles!
Seles was, BY FAR, the tennis babe with the best on-court f#$%-sounds...EVER! Especially when she was the world’s best female player during the early-mid 90’s (before some German nut stabbed her because she had begun to repeatedly kick his countrywoman’s Stephie Graff’s @$$ in championship matches).
I’m telling you, that Seles chick sound so freaky as she played tennis, you almost felt like smoking and showering after you were done witnessing her serve/volley.
Dayam, girl. You’re missin’ your calling. ‘Cause you could make a MINT giving performing seminars on this stuff for the ladies!
You can tab it “How To Do It Like a Ho’” with Kola (brought to you by Make Mine Funky Enterprises, Inc.).
Follow up seminars would be:
“Steak-n-Gravy”
“Oh. And Don’t Forget the Nutes”
“With Crème and a Cherry on Top”
“Coochie Coochie…Coo, Baby”
“I Can't Believe I Ate The WHOLE Thang!”
Seminar attendee may bring their own d#$%’s. Or, for an additional fee, a wide variety of d#$%’s can be provided for you. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 733
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 04, 2005 - 07:56 pm: |
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LMAO
If only they'd release my EROTIC fiction short story collection----the stories are chock full of sex tips.
But that book, "BLACK CAT", may go into the vaults and not be released until I'm dead.
MEANWHILE....I'm very excited about the upcoming video....
AND...
I've decided to stop DOWNPLAYING my looks in order to be taken seriously.
No more adrogynous Ultra-Serious PATHOS like the Lurch-type GARBO photo I've recently been posting.
Why can't a serious literary novelist look more like Naomi Campbell and still be taken seriously?
ALL TOGETHER NOW:
Because she hasn't been to YALE. Or any school period. Dat's why.
UGH!
But like Chester Himes....I truly believe MY LIFE itself has been a schooling that no other author has or could get.
I paid my dues.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2525
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 01:06 am: |
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Kola,
Don’t hate on our resident brainiac Mah because she was smart, rich and connected enough to score a YALE degree.
Cheer up!
At least you’re taller. And don’t mind publicly displaying your rack (hint-hint to Mah).
Hey. Your “Flesh in the devil” is pretty HOT in its own right.
YOWSA!
Almost feelin’ like a voyeur as I read it.
There are SO many things I could say about your “BLACK CAT”. But I’d better not. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 292
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 02:55 am: |
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You warned me didn't you, ABM???
F*CK "rich"! When I went to Yale, the annual TUITION was equal to my mother's annual salary. A sistah JUST finished paying off the student loans in 2003...10 years after graduation.
And I didn't have connections. The first recruitment letter came based on my PSAT scores. I THREW IT AWAY. Why because poor black Southern girls don't go to YALE! It was only when I got a letter then a phone call from a rising black Yale senior from Columbus, Georgia encouraging me to apply.
Me [picking hayseed out of my teeth]: "Y'all really got black people there?"
Him: Yes.
Me: REAL black people???
Anyway, Angela Bassett is my hero. She went to Yale (undergrad and grad, I think), and I read in an interview of hers about how she left the projects of Tampa (I'm originally from FL too) and said things her roommates couldn't understand like, "I"m fin-ta go." That was so ME!
My biggest adjustment wasn't living amongst white people; even though I grew up in an all-black neighborhood, I had been bused to schools in white neighborhoods, and then went to a mostly white public college prep magnet school. My biggest adjustment was with black people who were so culturally different. They WERE rich and well-dressed, etc. And I was...bama. I was used to there being more unity and commonality among black folks, and not that it was completely absent, but the socioeconomic and regional differences were more striking than I was prepared for.
Hell, I took Amtrak to school and read The Autobiography of Malcolm X the entire way because I took the words of my friends back home seriously: "Don't turn white!" That was such a non-issue. Instead, college was where I first learned that all black people did not love me.
As far as my "rack"...I address that issue in "Kings and Paupers".
My guess is that Kola is thinking of fellow Yalie, ZZ Packer. Kola, have you met her? She's friends with a writer friend of mine, and I MISSED hanging out with her when she was in town (my oldest was sick). She was a year behind me in college, but I didn't *know* her. She seemed pretty cool and kept to her self, if memory serves. |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 738
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 03:45 am: |
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Deesha---
the funny thing is...I WAS NOT thinking of you when I mentioned YALE.
LOL
Mahogany...I was hired to replace Z.Z. Packer in the book "POLITICALLY INSPIRED"....and then my story was so good that she came back to the project---we're the only two Black writers in that entire book, and it's a REALLY great book. I remain extremely proud of the story I wrote---some people think it's the best thing I've EVER wrote, but very few have read it.
There was a lot of other drama, and I won't talk about it.
I, too, love Angela Bassett.
I was making reference to all the snobbery that is leveled against my work, because I didn't go to school---my books are STUDIED now at Brown University, Northwestern, Cal Poly, Morehouse (well they aren't required at Morehouse, but I get a LOT of letters from students there--never any girls, always just the boys). I won an award from the Student Union at Howard University a few years ago.
But none of this helps me in the industry itself for some reason.
It's like a PLOT to keep me out or down low.
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Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 293
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 09:05 am: |
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Kola: Deesha--- the funny thing is...I WAS NOT thinking of you when I mentioned YALE. LOL
Mah: I didn't think you were either. I figured you were referencing ZZ, or speaking generically. See how ABM tries to boost sh*t up???? ;-)
Kola: Mahogany...I was hired to replace Z.Z. Packer in the book "POLITICALLY INSPIRED"....and then my story was so good that she came back to the project---we're the only two Black writers in that entire book, and it's a REALLY great book. I remain extremely proud of the story I wrote---some people think it's the best thing I've EVER wrote, but very few have read it.
Mah: I recall you mentioning that. I have to check it out.
Kola: I was making reference to all the snobbery that is leveled against my work, because I didn't go to school---my books are STUDIED now at Brown University, Northwestern, Cal Poly, Morehouse...But none of this helps me in the industry itself for some reason. It's like a PLOT to keep me out or down low.
Mah: That's as good a theory as any. I know a lot fools with Ivy League degrees, and a lot of wise women with GEDs. Go figure. You ever here Erykah Badu's song, "Booty"? It's kinda off-topic, but kinda not. Listen to it, if you get a chance.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2533
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 09:21 am: |
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Mah,
I'm (mostly) pulling your leg on the Yale stuff. 'Sides I suspected from the giddy-up you were a pull-herself-up-from-her-bootstraps kinda gal.
So simmer down, Einstein. Or I'll take your favorite Texas Instrument calculator from you.
Kola,
If I recall correctly, it was you who mentioned Mah having a Yale degree. Actually, I knew before you said it (via a caption in one of her web articles). But, when you referred to it here, of course the smart@$$ in me is going to poke-fun at it.
It's no surprise why the Black egghead set have you in their crosshairs.
You represent a threat to a lot of establishment thinking. So it's understandable why they'd flout your work.
And imagine if you borrowed +$100K to attend college, scored a vaunted Ivy League Phd and are a tenured professor at some esteemed university only to be possibly bettered by some hairbrained, tittie-wielding, 'uneducated' African chick.
That's the kind of $#@+ that could drive a uppity Kneegrow NUTS. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 295
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 09:28 am: |
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ABM, calculate THIS.
I'll give you a hint: it's next to my ring finger and it adds up to one. Don't forget to show your work, lol!
Please, tease away. I never had blood brothers, so I actually enjoy it. Keeps me laughing...and on my toes.
Speaking of professors and Ivy League fools...Here's a story of mine:
http://www.newyinzer.com/issue28/f_thomas.php
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2537
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 09:43 am: |
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Mah: "I'll give you a hint: it's next to my ring finger and it adds up to one. Don't forget to show your work, lol!"
ABM: HAHA! Funny! Did they teach you how to be that clever during your undergraduate studies at Yale? Of did you pick that up in grad school? |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 296
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 09:50 am: |
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ABM,
Nope, I made it up myself!
In grad school, I was getting certified to teach elementary school, so I had to try to at least pretend to be respectable.
Hey, wait a minute...this is the Mr. Johnson thread! Um, so...we've discussed fellatio, but cunnilingus--not so much. What gives??? That pleases Mr. Johnson, too, does it not?
[ABM, I did learn to say "does it not?" at Yale. In my "Talkin' Proper 101" class.] |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2543
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 10:19 pm: |
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Mah,
I found your “Ellison” to be quite funny, informative and articulate. But it lacked an emotional center. Your heroine seemed indifferent to or bored with all save the momentary calling of her loins.
She comes off as being too ‘cool’ for her fellow uppity academicians.
Or, frankly, she’s a stuck-up beeyatch. Which I might sympathize with, if I knew WHY she was so ‘itchy.
No offense.
Your heroine seems to me to be the archetype of a sistah who outtah boredom hooks up with some smart, charismatic ex-con who turns her out of dope, slaps her around a taste and then pimps her back to the very same male professors she previously would never have considered knockin’ boots with.
But maybe I read too much into it.
And I've been called quite a cunning-linguist. But you know I hate to brag. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 303
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 10:32 pm: |
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ABM: I found your “Ellison” to be quite funny, informative and articulate.
Mah: Thank you.
ABM: But it lacked an emotional center...Or, frankly, she’s a stuck-up beeyatch. Which I might sympathize with, if I knew WHY she was so ‘itchy.
Mah: Yeah, that's been a common observation about this piece.
ABM: Your heroine seems to me to be the archetype of a sistah who outtah boredom hooks up with some smart, charismatic ex-con who turns her out of dope, slaps her around a taste and then pimps her back to the very same male professors she previously would never have considered knockin’ boots with.
Mah: But this is new! Yeah, I guess that would be HER. Honestly, I think she jerks guys like Ellison around, but she's too afraid of her own shadow to hook up with the ex-con. I'll have to ask her. ;-)
One thing I HATE, is friends who read this (and another story of mine) and assume it is completely or even partly autobiographical. "Girrrrrl, I didn't know you had that IN you!" Well, depending on what THAT is--I probably don't. That's the beauty of fiction. Obviously, we draw on our own experiences as writers, but DAYUM give a sister's imagination some credit!
ABM: No offense.
Mah: Oh, none taken. The more honest and precise the feedback, the better. I have no shortage of cheerleaders (whom I love and NEED! but not nearly enough real critics, so this kind of response is a gift, truly.
ABM: And I've been called quite a cunning-linguist. But you know I hate to brag.
Mah: Of course you do. ;-)
Well, this was a nice distraction from my BORING evening of drinking at home alone. My Cinco de Mayo girlfriend BAILED on me! Strep throat, can you believe it? Some people are such wusses! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2545
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 10:51 pm: |
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Mah: But this is new! Yeah, I guess that would be HER. Honestly, I think she jerks guys like Ellison around, but she's too afraid of her own shadow to hook up with the ex-con. I'll have to ask her. ;-)
ABM: I doubt she would know, intially, dude had done time. He'd reveal just enough of himself to draw her into his trap. Then when she were fully lured inside, he'd POUNCE. 'Cause THAT's typically how smart, charismatic ex-cons play it, Babe. ;-) ;-) |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 304
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 10:57 pm: |
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Good to see you are so DEEP inside the charismatic ex-con mind, ABM. I'll chalk it up to a brotha's imagination. ;-)
Personally, I would have held on to Ellison. Rehabbed him, taught him how to smoke a cigar and loosen up, got him some Ebonics on tape, a subscription to XL (I think that's the one), a muzzle, whatever it took. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2546
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 11:00 pm: |
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Oh. By all means, keep Ellison in the picture. Afterall, he's the guy who's going to help rescue your heroine from the evil clutches of the ex-con.
Dude's gone have to get some 'game' though. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 305
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 11:02 pm: |
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Yeah, he'll talk the ex-con to death.
The story was inspired by a real-life Ellison. He and I were strictly platonic, though. And I think he might have been on the DL. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2547
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 11:08 pm: |
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Was dude possibly being on the DL the reason why things remained "platonic" between you?
Or did his pedantic conversation turn you off? |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 306
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 11:33 pm: |
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No, it wasn't the DL thing, it was the "I'm married" thing. He's still around, but I'm not interested. Beyond the physical, I just didn't find him appealing or all that interesting. The pedantic conversation was only part of it.
He gave a friend (female) a ride to a weekend writers' conference I attended. When he walked in the room, the group I was sitting with--all female, black and white--issued forth a collective "DAYUM! Who is THAT!" Word quickly spread that he was just this woman's ride. She kind of wrinkled up her nose at the idea that he was her man. Fishy, right?
He and I chatted, sipping wine, connected as fellow Southerners out of our element, and that was all.
Fast forward a week later, back in town, and my husband (at the time) and I enter this cafe with our realtor (moving from the 'burbs to the city). "Ellison" and I notice each other, wave. And I look away. He comes over, I introduce everybody, and he tells me that he's swamped with a paper he has to write and student papers to grade, but maybe we can catch up at another time. Scribbles his number and hands it to me.
Huh? He's totally oblivious to my husband, and I know now that he wasn't macking he was just that freakin' clueless.
Fast forward another week or so, and we run into each other again both having lunch alone at the same restaurant. So we decided to eat together.
The rest, as they say, is fiction.
Except the blinking. ;-)
~Deesha |
Kola
Moderator
Username: Kola
Post Number: 757
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, May 05, 2005 - 11:56 pm: |
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I let men give me head....but I never really enjoyed it.
Some men really like doing that, so I just oohed and awwed.
Because of Infibulation.....I have NO FEELING WHATSOEVER on the outer lips or the Rose Petal. I have to feel dick up in me to get hot or my nipples have to be sucked on.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2556
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:01 am: |
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Mah,
You can't even use dude for 7-11 sex?
Too bad.
'Cause I imagine these days, that would come in handy. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 308
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:16 am: |
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ABM, that position has been filled. ;-)
And besides, his being gay would have been a turn-off for me, even the suspicion of it.
Which reminds me...
A previous FB--we had a falling out. I think I was supposed to be more enamored of his income and his BMW than I was. When he found out that I was splitting up with a man who made triple what he made, he got all insecure. Plus, he was fine as long as I was a booty call, but he didn't like feeling like the Maintenance Man. He got rude, and I bid him adieu. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2561
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:22 am: |
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Glad the "position" is being "filled". Sure you are too.
Couldn't you and previous FB just split the difference and just call him "Booty Man". Because, in truth...that's what he was.
Btw: How did your PFB find out about your hubby's paycheck? MEEOOOOWWWW! HISSS! HISSS! |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 310
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:31 am: |
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ABM, I was cool with whatever he wanted to call himself. He was used to being the user, and even mutual, he felt used and his ego didn't like being the usee.
And of course he went and brought Yale into it. Sigh.
As for the $ issue, he was gauche enough to ask. First, he wanted to know what he did for a living. Started calculating. He had a friend who did something similar, yadda yadda. Wanted to know what kind of car he drove, blah, blah, blah. He threw out a number, which I would neither confirm nor deny (he was right on the...money), he assumed he was correct and ran with it. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 311
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:31 am: |
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BOOTY MAN! Bwaaaah!
(delayed rofl) |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2564
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:39 am: |
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Mah,
What an insecure NUT he is
Why would he make such a big deal about how much money you FORMER husband makes. 'Cause if that were really that big a deal to you, you might still be with the guy.
Good riddance! |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 314
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:45 am: |
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My point exactly, on all counts.
He was used to dating 'hood rats and Steelers leftovers. I don't think he knew what to do with me, honestly.
At one point, I told him he was a control freak and no good. And he said, with a straight face, "Oh, no. I'm a THE SHIT. Recognize."
I started giggling. Then I said, "Oh, wait. You're serious."
Okay, so I wasn't exactly the EASIEST FB to have. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 315
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 12:47 am: |
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Um, can somebody please click on my screenname to the left and tell me if my email addy pops up? It does when I click it, and I thought I'd disabled that function! Argh! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2567
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 01:01 am: |
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Mah,
How the hell you hooked up with someone who could with a straight face say: "Oh, no. I'm a THE SHIT. Recognize." That $#*+ so funny to me that my even reading it makes me laugh out loud.
You need to go on and admit it: You went out with this nimrod in part so you could have a man to make fun of as some kind of perverse way to get revenge on your husband.
Chicks are kinda crazy that way.
Your address is in your profile. But don't worry. I promise not too send to much crank email.
PS: "Steeler's leftover", huh? JEEZ! LAWD I prey you used SEVERAL Trojans at once. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 319
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 01:07 am: |
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ABM: Mah, How the hell you hooked up with someone who could with a straight face say: "Oh, no. I'm a THE SHIT. Recognize." That $#*+ so funny to me that my even reading it makes me laugh out loud.
Mah: I'm laughing out loud just re-reading it! It's not like I knew that in the beginning. He didn't *look* like he'd say something that asinine. Besides, I wasn't thinking above the neck.
ABM: You need to go on and admit it: You went out with this nimrod in part so you could have a man to make fun of as some kind of perverse way to get revenge on your husband.
Mah: Maybe that was it. Or sheer boredom.
ABM: Your address is in your profile. But don't worry. I promise not too send to much crank email.
Mah: Dearest Kola? Can you help me with this or do I need to contact Troy? I checked and I have it set to NOT show, and yet it shows.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2571
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 01:21 am: |
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Mah: "He didn't *look* like he'd say something that asinine. Besides, I wasn't thinking above the neck."
ABM: And THAT can get you into trouble almost every time. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 323
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 01:25 am: |
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Yes, Big Brother Almigh-tee.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2574
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 01:32 am: |
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That's right, Pledge. I'm the $#@+. So you'd bettah recognize!
HAHA!
("Hmmmm? Now where'd I put that pledge paddle?") |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 326
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 01:35 am: |
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ROFL!
or rather, *giggle* |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2580
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 02:18 am: |
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Mah,
Aren’t Myrle Streep and the brothah who used to play “Rock” (on Fox) also Yalie’s?
Your bio is for several reasons evocative.
I was born, partially bred and attended college in the South. So I retain affinity for Southerners.
HAHA!
Your “picking hayseed out of my teeth”, “’Y'all really got black people there?’ - ‘Yes’ - ’REAL black people???’” and “...I read The Autobiography of Malcolm X the entire way because I ... "Don't turn white!" are VERY FUNNY.
HAHA!
I too observed while in college the startling socio-economic differences amongst Blacks. Prior to that, I spent all my time with inner city Black foks. So, like you, I assume we were all one big Po’ Kneegrow Nation.
Boy was I delusional.
For instance, as I kid, I used to fantasize about flossin' a convertible Corvette. That was to me the ULTIMATE in material achievement. Well, my friggin’ 18 year old roommate drove to school in my dream car (His HS graduation gift). And he had the nerve to act like it was no big deal.
That $#*+ blew me away!
‘Cause prior to that I didn’t know ANY young Black foks who had it like dat.
But it was chin-chilla.
Eventually most foks got past their facades and we could all sing Khum Bi Yah together.
Plus, when I was ‘good’, some of my rich coeds would let me pimp der rides (Oh. And they’d lemme drive their cars too.). |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2582
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 02:22 am: |
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Still, I imagine your collegiate experience wasn’t as cozy as mine. Because, after all, we are talking about YALE.
The Black student population there is probably thoroughly inbred with ‘black-n-blue blood’ types. So many of them are trained to view you with the requisite disdain of, say, pedigree K-9’s observing some flea-ridden mutt that has fiendishly strayed upon the runway of the Annual Westminster Dog Show. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2583
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 08:08 am: |
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Kola: “If only they'd release my EROTIC fiction short story collection----the stories are chock full of sex tips.”
ABM: Maybe the publishers fear someone might get hurt and their insurance won’t cover it. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2584
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 08:11 am: |
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Mah,
Please repeat here what you said on “Kings and Paupers” about your “rack” and about Erykah Badu's Booty?
But let me know before you do, so while you post I can play some mood music in the background. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 337
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, May 06, 2005 - 11:43 pm: |
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ABM,
I hadn't heard that The Rock was an Eli, but Streep is grad (School of Drama). Edward Norton, however, was in my residential college. He's a year (or two?) older.
About chilly, uncozy black Yalies...there was some of that, yes. But I had my little crew of buddies and acquaintances; it wasn't all bad. And I met my husband there.
Your school daze sound quite INTERESTING.
What I wrote about my "rack"...You called Kola a "ta-ta bearing Sudanese chick" (as opposed to one without ta-tas??? But I digress) and I said I was cool with Kola's ta-tas. However, I JOKED that my 6 y.o. saw Kola ta-tas on the book cover and asked, "Mommy, why don't your breasts stand up like this lady's?"
"That's an old photo, sweetie..."
And about Badu's booty...Actually, I experienced her in concert a few years back. Gone was the headwrap and stoicism, enter the big Afro wig and she ROCKED! She crowd-surfed and at one point I realized, "I've got Erykah Badu's butt in my hand!!!"
But...what I posted was in response to Kola's discussion of looks, image, and education. I recommended Badu's song, "Booty" off of the "Mama's Gun" album. Here are the lyrics:
Your booty might be bigga
But I still can pull your nigga
But I don't want him
Ya got sugar on your pita
But ya nigga thinks I'm sweeter
But I don't want him
Ya know the whole encyclopedia
But ya nigga thinks I'm deeper
But I don't want him
Got a whole lot a junk off in ya trunk
But ya nigga think I'm live and I keep him crunk
I don't want him
Hey, hey, hey
I don't want him cause of what he doin to you
And you don't need him
Cause he ain't ready
See I don't want him
If he ain't made no arrangement with you
I hope you would've done the same thing for me too
Your kisses might be wetter
But your nigga likes mine better
But I don't want him
Ya got the beans and rice and the hot ho cakes
But ya nigga still over here in my plate
I don't want him
Ya got a PHD, Magna Cum Laude
But ya nigga love me with a GED
I don't want him
You the one with all the money
And he knows my money's funny
But I don't want him
Hey, hey, hey
I don't want him
Cause of what he doin to you
And you don't need him
Cause the boy ain't ready
Got ya pad all decked out fa sho
But ya niggas at my door, though
I don't want him
Well you can do the butterfly and the tootsie roll
But ya nigga straight sprung off the way I stroll
I don't want him
Ya know the whole 120 + degree
But you can't keep ya guy up off his knees
I don't want him
Got a 9-5 and a 6-10
But ya nigga told me not to work again
I don't want him
Hey, hey, hey
I don't want him
Cause of what he doin to you
And you don't need him
Cause he ain't ready
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jackie
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, May 07, 2005 - 12:08 am: |
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MAH
LOL
I saw Erykah in 2003 and she was off the chain. I was surprised. She's an excellent performer. Ok, well I'm off to see Crash with one of my favorite actors Terrence Howard |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2609
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, May 07, 2005 - 05:24 am: |
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Mah,
Badu song is...(I've GOT to find a better way to begin sentences).
It's as if she's brags about being superior to another woman but yet is doing her a 'favor' via warning her about a wayward man...primarily by telling her she's superior to her.
I wonder if that would ACTUALLY work between 2 sistahs in this situation.
I agree Kola's ta-ta's are fun to poke fun at. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 347
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, May 07, 2005 - 09:58 am: |
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Jackie, I love Terrence Howard!!! Can't wait to see "Crash."
ABM, I imagine you're right. The sistah she's singing to would be none too pleased. The song is funky and the singing is sly and sassy. Perfect.
But keep in mind, the real-life equivalent wouldn't be Badu calling this chick up and starting some mess. This is a response song--Badu's response to the woman coming with some, "Stay away from my man!" drama. Badu is saying, "Not my fault YOU can't keep him away from me."
Don't start none, won't be none.
But it's the ultimate diss, imo, to tell another woman, "I don't want your man. I could have him, but I don't want him" or "I DID have him, and now I don't want him." No one wants to think they are in love with another woman's leftovers.
I plead the 5th on how I know this. *devilish grin*
The sistah may not like Badu's words, but my money would be on Badu in the cat fight. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 348
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, May 07, 2005 - 10:01 am: |
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That should have said, "No one wants to think they are in love with another woman's leftovers OR REJECTS."
Men are like prime real estate to some women. The more buyers clamoring for him, the more desirable he becomes. And the inverse is true as well.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2622
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 05:24 am: |
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Yvettep,
I think it would be VERY DIFFICULT to avoid choosing (a). BUT, depending on the circumstances, I might choose (b). Because (b) could over the long-term provide you with a $ return commensurate with that of (a) and more enduring esteem/fame to both my writing and my persona
Btw: I came out 40% Republican. (“Congratulations, you're a swing voter. When they say "Soccer Mom", they mean you. Every Democratic ad on the TV set was made just for your viewing enjoyment. Don't you feel special?”)
I feel like such an equivocating ho’.
Mah,
Okay. I can see the scenario in which Badu might be compelled to respond like she does in her “Booty”.
And look atchu out there stealin’ other foks men! HAHA!
I agree with you that women often treat men like they might “prime real estate”. In my runnin’ around days, I learned the surest way to win the favor of the girl I really liked was to flirt with her best friend. That stunt worked almost every time. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 381
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 08:50 am: |
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ABM: And look atchu out there stealin’ other foks men! HAHA!
Mah: "Stealing" is such a harsh word. If a puppy wanders into your yard, hungry and scruffy-looking, and you feed and groom it, is that considered stealing? No. When its owner comes a-calling, you just pat it on the head and nudge it back toward home with your foot. But alas, some owners are not grateful for one's kindness toward strays.
Or so I've heard. ;-) |
jackie
Unregistered guest
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 12:17 pm: |
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Mah-save ur money or go see Crash at a matinee.
On the Jackie scale I gave it a D+
The director tried too hard to get his point across about colorism,racism, stereotypes to the point of the movie and characters being unrealistic and underdeveloped. That's all I'll say. I was very disappointed. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 385
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, May 10, 2005 - 04:05 pm: |
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Jackie, thanks for the heads up! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2630
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 05:35 am: |
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Jackie,
Too bad about Crash.
You think Crash tried to cover the subject so broadly that there wasn’t enough time to get below the surface of any issues?
Or was it too preachy, which is difficult to avoid doing? (Even Spike Lee’s great “Do The Right Thing” was at times a bit heavy handed in spots.).
Dang!
My wife/I were looking forward to seeing it. But the opinions I’ve heard from others corroborate yours. So I guess I wait ‘til it’s on DVD.
Mah,
Haha!
But then tell me, if those “puppies” have dog tags that clearly delineate they have other owners, do they still get fed and groomed? If so, do you still expect their owners to be “grateful”?
And do every "puppy" get a bone? |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 388
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 06:56 am: |
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ABM:But then tell me, if those “puppies” have dog tags that clearly delineate they have other owners, do they still get fed and groomed?
Mah: Wouldn't you like to know... ;-)
ABM: If so, do you still expect their owners to be “grateful”?
Mah: LOL. I would [if I ever found myself in such a situation] expect the owner to remember that I didn't go into her yard and lure her dog away.
I would then recommend a smack on the wandering hound's head with a rolled up newspaper (or divorce petition) to prevent future wandering.
ABM: And do every "puppy" get a bone?
Mah: Down, boy. I think Cynique is right: you better get back in your crate.
Ruff. Ruff. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2635
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 07:05 am: |
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Mah: Wouldn't you like to know... ;-)
ABM: I think I already do. ;) ;)
Mah: LOL. I would [if I ever found myself in such a situation] expect the owner to remember that I didn't go into her yard and lure her dog away.
ABM: Yeah. But you sure don't mind leaving your 'gate' open while anticipating of some frisky pooch might come strollin' by.
Mah: I would then recommend a smack on the wandering hound's head with a rolled up newspaper (or divorce petition) to prevent future wandering.
ABM: What? No Scooby Snacks?
Mah: Down, boy. I think Cynique is right: you better get back in your crate...Ruff. Ruff.
ABM: Whimper. Whimper. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 390
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, May 11, 2005 - 08:52 am: |
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ABM: Yeah. But you sure don't mind leaving your 'gate' open while anticipating of some frisky pooch might come strollin' by.
Mah: I don't have a gate, because I don't have a fence. But mayhaps I should take Frost's advice:
Mending Wall
by Robert Frost
SOMETHING there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That sends the frozen-ground-swell under it,
And spills the upper boulders in the sun;
And makes gaps even two can pass abreast.
The work of hunters is another thing:
I have come after them and made repair
Where they have left not one stone on a stone,
But they would have the rabbit out of hiding,
To please the yelping dogs. The gaps I mean,
No one has seen them made or heard them made,
But at spring mending-time we find them there.
I let my neighbour know beyond the hill;
And on a day we meet to walk the line
And set the wall between us once again.
We keep the wall between us as we go.
To each the boulders that have fallen to each.
And some are loaves and some so nearly balls
We have to use a spell to make them balance:
“Stay where you are until our backs are turned!”
We wear our fingers rough with handling them.
Oh, just another kind of out-door game,
One on a side. It comes to little more:
There where it is we do not need the wall:
He is all pine and I am apple orchard.
My apple trees will never get across
And eat the cones under his pines, I tell him.
He only says, “Good fences make good neighbours.”
Spring is the mischief in me, and I wonder
If I could put a notion in his head:
“Why do they make good neighbours? Isn’t it
Where there are cows? But here there are no cows.
Before I built a wall I’d ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.
Something there is that doesn’t love a wall,
That wants it down.” I could say “Elves” to him,
But it’s not elves exactly, and I’d rather
He said it for himself. I see him there
Bringing a stone grasped firmly by the top
In each hand, like an old-stone savage armed.
He moves in darkness as it seems to me,
Not of woods only and the shade of trees.
He will not go behind his father’s saying,
And he likes having thought of it so well
He says again, “Good fences make good neighbours.”
Mah: I would then recommend a smack on the wandering hound's head with a rolled up newspaper (or divorce petition) to prevent future wandering.
ABM: What? No Scooby Snacks?
Mah: That's between a dog and his mistress. Who knows? Maybe it was the lack of Scooby Snacks at home that sent him out sniffing around in the first place...
Mah: Down, boy. I think Cynique is right: you better get back in your crate...Ruff. Ruff.
ABM: Whimper. Whimper.
Mah: Good doggie. |
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