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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 762
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 10:32 am: | 
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Well it looks like all y'all let Abm get away with this one so I'm gonna have to step up to the plate agin--
He finds the fact that women gossip and are catty and have a catfight and can't cooperate evidence that women hate each other and can't get it together.
Yet, when I saw the results of the latest St. Louis gangwar--two shot dead over the night in retaliation for two past shootings--both victims were male and the shooters probably were too. What is this thing that makes males put on different colors and shoot each other down? And then I look at Iraq. Mostly men out there doing the killing with women and girls caught in the crossfire. And Afghanistan.
Northern Ireland they were over there killing each other and I couldn't tell them apart. Different parts of Africa, Asia, Latin Ameria, Europe, North America Australia whereever you go, men are not just engaging in catty behavior but mowing each other down like grass.
And what is this with men killing each other over women? |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1982
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 11:03 am: |
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Chris,
Because men are no d*mn good. Never have been. Never will be.
But EVERYBODY knows that.
So, really...what's your point? |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 763
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 11:26 am: |
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Abm:
The point is not working together does not seem to be a female thang--but a human one. |
Cuba_va
Newbie Poster
Username: Cuba_va
Post Number: 4
Registered: 10-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 11:39 am: |
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A honest answer to why men hate and kill each other especially brothas????? WOMEN. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 765
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 11:44 am: |
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Haw Haw. Not a woman in da mix!
R. Kelly Hit With Pepper Spray at Concert
2 hours, 45 minutes ago
NEW YORK - A member of rapper Jay Z's entourage released pepper spray at R. Kelly during a joint concert at Madison Square Garden, Kelly's publicist said. The spraying happened about an hour into Friday night's show, when Kelly walked onstage and said he saw two people in the audience waving guns, publicist Allan Mayer said.
AP Photo
Kelly abruptly stopped his set around 9:30 p.m. while MSG security employees searched for weapons.
Finding none, guards told Kelly it was safe to continue performing, Mayer said. But as the singer was making his way back to the stage, a man in Jay Z's entourage — apparently miffed that Kelly interrupted the show — sprayed him and two of his bodyguards in the face.
"I'm pretty sure Jay didn't realize what was going on," Mayer said in a phone interview.
All three men were treated at St. Vincent's Hospital and released, Mayer said.
Jay Z performed for another 45 minutes after Kelly was sprayed, Mayer said.
In a radio interview on Hot 97 FM radio Friday, Jay Z said he couldn't understand why Kelly left the stage.
"You can't get a gun inside Madison Square Garden," the rapper said. "If people give me love he can't take it."
The two are in the midst of a 40-city "Best of Both Worlds" tour, scheduled to run through Nov. 28.
The Chicago Sun-Times reported discord between the two performers after Kelly showed up more than two hours late for a show in Chicago this month.
New York City police said they had no information about Friday's incident.
Copyright © 2004 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1984
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 12:46 pm: |
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Chris,
I agree that strife is not an exclusively female trait.
And to be honest, I think what inspired my thread was all the quarrelling I have witness women doing here, in my home, business and other social gatherings.
Also, I was trying to discern how Kola and other womanists are going to encourage fidelity amongst womanhood if chick enjoy fighting with each other over even the trivial things.
And, yeah, I guess the masochist is me wanted to be the foil of some self-righteous female indignation. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 455
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 01:44 pm: |
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ABM,
I don't know of any "womanists" who fight over major things, let along trivial.
I spent hours chatting with Kathleen last night, and I have to answer an email to my girl Lawchic, and here lately--Cynique and I have been getting along like toast and jam---I adore A_Womon and JustWrite and Crystal and I'm making a list of books for BLEEK to read. I'm drawing strength from listening to Bessie Smith and Chaka Khan this weekend.
I'm participating in a VIDEO PETITION by women of Africa...against the film "Hotel Rwanda", which we're boycotting---because of the "colorist casting" of the lead female character, this tan colored woman surrounded by a sea of ancient chocolate skinned people---and most amazingly is the fact that they expect us to believe that she's the MOTHER of the Rwandan children in the film. It's that old Lena Horne bullshit--"beautiful black African women simply don't exist."
This "tan woman" doesn't even go with the African landscape!
The USUAL Hollywood colorism and disrespect for Black women--only we are different from Black American women in our response.
I guess you would consider that a fight?
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1751
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 30, 2004 - 03:42 pm: |
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It's all about "dissin." When one brotha disses another, - and the slightest offense can constitute a "diss", then the injured party has to retaliate or lose face because his manhood is at stake. This is just a variation on the dueling rituals which used to take place back in the day. It's also probably what gave rise to one man calling another a "bitch" when the challenge of who has "balls" is at stake, and such a mentality surely originated in the primitive hemisphere of the masculine psyche. Members of the male species are naturally competitive and territorial, be it in the intellectual area or the street arena. To have their ideas dismissed or their turf violated is an anathema to the male hubris. But, there is such a thing as male bonding because men need a peer group to team up with in order to go up against another team which has engender their hate. And of course women figure into the equation. Who but another Alpha Man is the natural enemy of a one seeking the favor of a female whose capitulation will represent the ultimate jewel in his crown. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1991
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, October 31, 2004 - 09:38 am: |
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Kola,
That's GREAT! But I hope all the cozy sistahood hold up through the weekend.
Yeah. Now that you mention it, I guess womanists don't quarrel much. Because that cuts into yawl make-out time.
What did you and Kathleen chat for all that time? Did your talk include me? (If so, what were you wearing?) And this new thing between you and Cynique have put a whole new spin one of my favorite breakfast staples.
I usually get the most juice out of listening to Beethoween and Parliment-Funkadelic.
Is the movie you're making going to conflict with the chocolate/coolwhip jigglygal project that I've got you and the other ladies here booked for?
Cynique,
That's some pretty highbrow psychobabble you've dealt. But I guess I kinda got a lil' nervous when you mentioned something about a "b@#$%" having "b@ll$". |
Lawchic
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Lawchic
Post Number: 79
Registered: 10-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, October 31, 2004 - 02:48 pm: |
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I heard a pop psychhologist say that men measure their self-worth by two things: 1. how much money they have; and 2) how much power they have.
Now, these young brothas shooting each other up on the regular certainly don't have any kind of real money, so I guess they are trying to assert power in the only way that seems viable to them.
What the psych was suggesting at the time is that men have to find different ways in which to find their self-worth. E.g., that my wife is better taken care of than any other woman. That my community is better tended to than any other community. So, that they focus on not what they have accumulated, but what they have given the world. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1764
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 10:43 am: |
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Actually, Abm, my observations on the male animal were more in the realm of anthropology, rather than psychology.
lawchic, your input was certainly pertinent. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 767
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 10:53 am: |
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All:
Haw haw haw! Abm wants his females nice and docile and playin' nicey nicey--smilin', laughin' jokin'singin' dancin makin music and shufflin along--singin' dem ole Negro Spirituals, griinin' an eatin dat watuh million--where have I heard that kind of stuff before? |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 768
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 10:56 am: |
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All:
Haw haw haw! Abm wants his females nice and docile and playin' nicey nicey--smilin', laughin' jokin'singin' dancin makin music and shufflin along--singin' dem ole Negro Spirituals, griinin' an eatin dat watuh million--where have I heard that kind of stuff before? |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1998
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 12:46 pm: |
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Lawchic,
You can pretty much exclude "money" and just go with "power". Because even money is just a tool for and indicator of power.
Everything we do revolve around whether, how and or to what degree we have "power".
And, yes, our lack of power - with rare exceptions in, perhaps, in sports/sex - results in Black men doing things that are harmful to others and our ownselves.
Cynique,
I suppose you’re right. Though terms like "lose face", "masculine psyche", "male hubris", "peer group", "Alpha Man" and "male bonding" sure appear to fall within the realm of psychology. But I suppose there would be some overlap with Anthropology.
Lambd,
See. Here’s why you gottah keep your game on the Q-Tip. Cause no matter how slick a brothah be. There’s always gone be one brothah (a.k.a. "Chris Hayden") who gonna try to call out a playah’s hand. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 773
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 04:18 pm: |
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Hey! Where is Carey? He's usually all up in dese kind of doin's, gettin' folks told! |
Rope
First Time Poster
Username: Rope
Post Number: 1
Registered: 11-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 08:47 pm: |
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Hello All,
I felt compelled to join the group for several reasons:
- I'm independent to a fault, therefore am a lonely middle-aged man
- After recently seeing Maya Angelou on the Tavis Smiley, I was reminded of how much I admire the warm and wise woman (Tavis is a bit of a hard-steeled competitor, you think?)
- I also discovered that Angelou is from St. Louis and was raised in Arkansas as was my father
- She also shares the same birthday as my father albeit she's a few years older
- Another serendipitious date correlates with my birthdate...(it escapes my tired mind now. sorry)
Someone wrote about men being focused on power and money...and it's true. But I also think women would be in denial if they didn't admit being in the same mind trap, just not as strongly perhaps as men are.
As much as I admire Mr. Smiley, I feel like he's so out of touch with his sensative side that he relies on the strenght of his will-power and resolve. But the stark contrast with the love that Ms. Angelou brought to the interview was most evident, even compelling Tavis to admit he was brought to nearly tears (he couldn't cry after all) after a childhood memory revealed by Maya.
Why are men mean? A big question that this man has lots of ideas about having grown up in a "mean" family (that would be one adjective to describe my dysfuntional family-of-origin).
I should probably confess that I too have a mean streak. I hope to keep it under control by staying connected with kind and gentle folk including reading Ms. Angelou's poetry and books. My mean streak sooner or later prompts guilt that eats at me unwittingly. It's like I have no control over that, so I also seek religion for solace and forgiveness.
Anyways, thanks for being there and would like to perhaps start a e-book club that reads one of Angelou's books? Anyone interested?
Tommy in St. Louis
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 471
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 09:27 pm: |
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Tommy,
I have no doubt that Ms. Angelou will enjoy reading your posts.
But I hope you aren't going to bore the hell out of us.
You ever enjoy some vermouth with a little baked peach in the glass and a side shot of vodka some evenings?
It's relaxing, gets you totally unwinded and you sleep like a log afterwards.
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Lawchic
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Lawchic
Post Number: 84
Registered: 10-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 10:17 pm: |
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Welcome, Tommy.
Kola: You are such a bad girl sometimes - at least wait until he bores us - or are you bored already? Lol. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1776
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 01, 2004 - 11:45 pm: |
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We all have our facades, Rope. Tavis Smiley takes on the demeanor of an objective host and projects what he thinks is a professional image. And, as you say, woman are also into power; they are especially drawn to powerful men. Somebody once said that power is the great aphrodisiac, And speaking of facades, don't be fooled by Maya Agelou's geniality. She can be quite feisty and is not somebody you want to run afoul of. This comes across in all of her memoirs. |
Rope
Newbie Poster
Username: Rope
Post Number: 2
Registered: 11-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 09:07 pm: |
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Thanks Cynique for the Angelou-facade warning. But c'mon, honestly we all have a public facade. I'm glad you forewarned me tho because I was beginning to believe she was some kinda "angel"-ou (probably from watching too many Aunt Jemimah TV commercials).
You also wrote:
>>>Members of the male species are naturally competitive and territorial...<<<
Maybe more so than women but these are not exclusive traits by any means. I know a lot of women who are more so than I certainly am, this laid back poet/musician/scientist wanna-be.
Anyone bored yet? If so, I could tell y'all my little black secret...(altho I'm not so secretive about it anymore in our (hopefully) more open-minded society).
Tommy |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 474
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 09:51 pm: |
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I'm starting to like you Tommy.
What's your secret?
I love secrets.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 475
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 09:53 pm: |
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Musician?
Blech!!! Can't stand them.
But you say you're a scientist? Now that's totally cool. I'm a scientist, too.
****
And where is my baby, ABM?
He seems to be missing the last few days. I hope he's alright.
Must have eaten too much Halloween "cat", I mean--candy.
ABM..where are you daddy?
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 476
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, November 02, 2004 - 09:56 pm: |
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ABM
please email me to tell me what you've been doing and HOW you're doing.
I can't come to the board as often right now.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2013
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, November 03, 2004 - 12:22 pm: |
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Kola,
Check your email, flava! |
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