| Author |
Message |
    
Brelei715
Newbie Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 22
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:50 pm: | 
|
molestation? is that even a word???
I was just wondering if so, did you find out what happened and how do you feel about/towards that person? |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 683
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:55 pm: |
|
Brelie715:
Never any family members or close friends but acquaintances have--
I must admit I terminated all contact with them afterward. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1470
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 02:58 pm: |
|
Brelei,
Yeah. One of my cousins, bestfriend when we were kids, molested a couple of (WHITE) boys.
And he did the time for the crime.
But it turn out to be the the BEST thing that happen to'em.
He found GOD. Clean himself up from drugs. And got a degree while in the bighouse.
Now he's got a wife/kids. And he's a preacher saving souls ALL throughout the South. |
Brelei715
Newbie Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 23
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:00 pm: |
|
my reason for asking that is i was just speaking with my freind (she's really my bestest cousin freind in the WHOOOOOOLE world) because i have a younger cousin who was raped about 2 years ago (she was 15 and he was like 28) and i have absolute disgust for her rapist. now this same cousin her stepbrother (18) raped a 12 year old and i am digusted with him but i also know he has issues and needs help. this is not the first time he's done something like this and i have blamed his family because they did not get him help. why is that we can have such compassion for family members/close freinds/people we know but not for the next person.? |
Brelei715
Newbie Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 24
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:19 pm: |
|
that is so cool Abm!!! well not what he did but how he's turned his life around. and to be saving souls....what better job to have!!! amen.
that also makes me feel sooo sad because i never legally charged the uncle who did what he did to me. now it prompted my mother and my aunts to confront him and keep him away from their children but that did nothing for his daughter and her sister that we've recently found out he's been messing with. don't get me wrong i love my uncle (he's my grandmother's only living sibling) but he needs some serious help. I think I'm little more compassionate towards him because i know his problems did not start until he came back from Veitnam but he's still ruined alot of lives...his oldest son is in jail for having a sexual relationship with his girlfreinds then 13 year old (and do u know her mother did not beleive her!!!), one son has a thing for young girls and his youngest (who is the greatest person) is gay. we all beleive he did something to his sons when they were little but they never said he did. WE HAVE TO BREAK THESE DAAAAMN CYCLES!!! and although i may seem stronger because of this i have to admit that i beleive that is why from age 16 until about 25 i was very permis....i could never spell that word (doing it alot....lol). i must really like ya'll people tellin' all my bizness...lol. |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 820
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:20 pm: |
|
Bre,
That depends on what you mean by compassion. I feel that I can show compassion toward someone, without allowing them to think that what they did is okay and business as usual.
It is never ok as far as Im concerned to send mixed messages. And you can't compare a blood relative with a perfect stranger. You don't get to pick and choose who is in your family, but you can pick and choose whether or not to continue associating with them. Sure, you can cut off family if they refuse to get help and treatment, I mean what other choice do you have? Do you continue to let them socialize with you and risk them hurting someone ELSE close to you?
I think how you handle sexual abusers in your family and those in hollywood are two different things. |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 821
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:22 pm: |
|
by the way Bre, my next novel is titled BLOOD LIKE WATER and it is about this very subject! |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 26
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:33 pm: |
|
i agree A-womon (can't wait to read the book). we do socialize this uncle but we do not socialize alone and our children are not allowed around him alone. when i say compassion i mean i don't not speak and i don't treat him like an outcast. i use to look at the fact that i didn't charge him as an OK thing because as long as he did not get to my sisters and cousins i was straight but now as i have gotten older (and having these great discussions with all you great scholars!!!) i have realized (ok i realized it today) that because i did not tell the authorities that in essence i allowed him to get to those other 2 little girls (and anyothers that we may not know about). i can not even explain how heavy my heart is right now!!! i am so about to cry. |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 822
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:42 pm: |
|
No Bre, please don't do that to yourself. YOU are NEVER responsible for what another, ESPECIALLY A GROWN AZZ person, does to another. Who is to say that they would have caught him or how it would have gone down if you had been able to tell. It is NOT an easy thing to tell that ANYONE that someone has raped you. Like I said, I give you big ups girl! I don't know you, but you seem to be handling something that has the potential to DEVASTATE a person, and totally destroy their lives very very well.!
DO YA DAMN THANG, GIRL, FOR REAL!! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1472
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:56 pm: |
|
Brelei,
Most of us are conveniently hypocritical when it comes to our own (although it happened decades ago, I still can't 'believe' my cousin did what he was proven in court to have done). And that is a very natural, human response. Who WOULDN'T try to protect their own family...even when they have done something wrong?
So you shouldn't beat yourself up over what you did or didn't do. Besides. You were a vulnerable young girl/woman. And girls are unfairly made to be ashamed sexual related events, even when they neither caused or were at fault for what happend. And you had to have been very confused about what was going. You may have even slightly turned on by the additional attention not realizing what was going on until it was too late.
So I can understand why you kept quiet then...and I consider you to be quite brave to talk about it now (even in this fairly anonymous forum). I think your candor her will encourage others to do what they need to do to get help. 
We all should know now that, ultimately, we do the offender, their victim and ourselves more harm than good if we DON'T call out their devil. Because as you know, protecting a love one from scrutiny/punishment/help can set the stage for him (or her) to perpetrate their crime against someone else you love.
One who will rape/molest once will almost without fail do so again unless it is made ABUNDANTLY clear to them there will to some swift/harsh punishment in the offing.
But I would argue that age should partly factor into whether/how an offender is punished. Because I am inclined to view an 18 year old boy having sex with a 12 year old girl differently from how I might view a 38 year old man having sex with that same girl.
And there are no hard/fast, fool-proof formulas. Some rapist/molesters are more salvagable than others. And not all of us are capable of staring down a demon in the way that others might.
But what Kelly has (apparently) been permitted to get away with appears to be beyond the pail. And when I combine THAT with how his celebrity can influence millions others, I am compelled to insist that he especially be severely punished. Otherwise, his fame can help breed 1,000’s more who may feel more inclined/enabled to behave as he does. |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 27
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 03:57 pm: |
|
thanks A-womon, i'll try not too (i gotta call my momma crying first...lol, i'm such a crybaby). i just feel really sad now. also, i guess i may be a little stronger than i should be but not as strong as i may seem. girl i breaks too...lol and i have some serious issues. i try though, i'm actually trying harder because i have 2 daughters and i want to 'break the cycles' that my mother tried so hard to break. |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 28
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 04:11 pm: |
|
you are sure right about that Abm (what does that stand for by the way?). he should have been punished. you know what pissed me off the most about him (i know i'm sounding very hyprocrytical...i never said i wasn't mad @ him, just still like his music) is that the prosecuters came up with this 'in chicago it's not a crime to sleep with a minor who's 17 and we can't tell if she's 17 or not'. i could have sworn the age was 18 across the board. i do agree with you though, he'll do it again.
you wanna here something funny, you said my candor can help people...i just said to myself that being around you guys is going to help me. i absolutely love to write (i have poetry up the azz, and yes i'm that good...lol) and have always wanted to write a book. i feel that being around such intelligence (is there a scholar in the house!!!) can only inspire me to follow at least one of my dreams... |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1479
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 05:13 pm: |
|
Brelei,
Well, we have allowed so much to get away from us in terms our sexual behavior, that even those of use who are suppose to enforce the law are struggling with what to do.
What should you do if the female is 16 and the male is 20, they say they're in love and there's a baby on the way? Should he still be looked up because the girl was not at the legal age of consent?
And we have become so desensitized to what constitute youth. For example, we were introduced to a very adult looking Destiny's Child when in truth those girls were only 14 - 15 years old when they first broke out. Likewise with Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears. Now there's this 13 year old Jo Jo that's got a lot of grown men thinking dark/evil thoughts.
So I can't help thinking that a lot the indifference to what your uncle and Kelly now do is a product of our current 'show-yo-thang-gurl' culture.
I find my self CONSTANTLY having to watch guard over what my 14 year old wears/does. She's at that explosion of T&A phase where we are renewing her wardrobe and bras at almost a daily basis.
The other day at a restaurant, I thought I'd was going to stick a knife in the eye of this middle-aged White MOFO who was leering at my kid like a starving carnivore would at prime rib.
So I don't know how we regain control over things (assuming we ever REALLY had any to begin with). But I do know that talking about it at least offer us the opportunity to make things better for us, and more importantly, our children.
And I think I speak for all of us here when I say "Welcome! I hope that we all be a source of inspiration and encouragement as you pursue your intellectual and artistic endeavors." |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1453
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 05:27 pm: |
|
When I was about 8 years old, one of my friend's older brothers exposed himself to me. I told my mother and she told his mother who believed him when he denied it. We just let it drop, and he later went on to gain quite a reputation as "hound." Now he's a deacon in the local
Baptist church. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1482
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, September 29, 2004 - 11:00 pm: |
|
Cynique,
Did you friend's brother's behavior have any affect on you?
And did he ever deal with his stripper's urge? Or is dude doing his own brand of peepshow for the good Christian sistahs after the Wednesday Nite Usher Board meetings? |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 686
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:38 am: |
|
Cynqiue:
Whitemail the sucka for every cent he's got! |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 688
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 11:42 am: |
|
You know, thinking about it, I probably should not have just cut the guys short that did this--but what can you do? |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1456
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:07 pm: |
|
This little childhood episode didn't have the great of an effect on me. I just looked upon the guy as an "ol nasty boy." And for all I know, his now being a deacon in the church might be a sign that he has been born again and has been washed of his sins. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1490
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:09 pm: |
|
Cynique,
Or simply that churches have a high concentration of chicks to flash your 'peeter' at when the 'spirit' moves you. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1458
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:22 pm: |
|
The Lord works in mysterious ways. |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 33
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:32 pm: |
|
Abm you know that ain't right....funny though, lol. And thanks for the welcome. I don't know what to think about that 20 year old...16 year old. I guess it depends on the situation...i mean they could have been together since he was 16 and she was 12 (still seems young...but we were young once). To be honest I feel if we took it back and teach our children to be married before having sex all things would work out better {Oh how I wish I could turn back the hands of my time}. |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 34
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:33 pm: |
|
hahaha, ABM!!! stop it. |
Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 122
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 12:41 pm: |
|
My grandmothers boyfriend used to come to my grandmother's house while us children were playing paper doll's outside in the front yard.
He'd say, WHO WANTS TO GO AND GET SOME POTATO CHIPS AND POP??!!
WE'D ALL SAY: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
He'd always pick me--and i'd always get the pop and chips and he'd let me drive while he felt up my 8 year old vagina and bumps as my mom had taught me to call the beginning blossoms of my 8 year old breasts.
The last time he came for me, he took me to a biiiiiiig empty field and the grass was reeeeeaallllly high and dry--tan colored--and there was a little hut/barn looking existance that stood too far away from where the cars drove by--WE WERE TOO FAR AWAY FROM HOME!!! WHY WERE WE SO FAR AWAY FROM HOME?? (I often wonder if I made that scene up in my head because at that time I felt as if he and I were the only 2 people on the planet.)
He took me inside the barn? Placed me atop some type of a make shift bed--and it was at that point that I think that I felt alllllll of the other lil' girls he must have had there and I realized that something was terribly wrong and I realized that something even more terrible was about to happen because I began to scream!!!!!! AND I SCREAMED AND I SCREAMED FOR MY MOTHER (Who was young and in her 20's and "getting herself together" in NJ which was why my sister and I were in Alabama with grandmama) I SCREAMED FOR MY GRANDMOTHER AND I SCREAMED FOR MY SISTER BUT I DIDN'T SCREAM FOR GOD!! I COULDN'T SCREAM FOR GOD CUZ HE WAS GOD!!! ANNNNNND HE HAD A FEAR IN HIS EYES AND HE HOISTED ME UP--and began to ask me what was wrong and began to apologize and began to say he would take me home AND I CONTINUED SCREAMING!!
We reached his brown scarey too big car as I called it in my 8 year old mind and he put me inside--screaming. Then, he gave me my chips and pop and I stopped screaming. Just like that.
He drove up to the front of the house. I saw my grandmama at the window. I got out of the car--her eyes followed my tear tattered face to where the other children played, I followed the big brown scarey too big car as it turned in the dirt road and then I watched my grandmother who watched me. She moved from the window, but I still watched it--waiting for her. She never came-
Her boyfriend never came again either.
But Sunday, when I was dressed in my Sunday's best, frilly socks and patent black leather sunday shoes, he'd be right there in the pulpit--hoopin' and hollerin' and the folks sitting beside, in front and around me, would be clapping for him and amen'n with him and so I knew that I had to be the sinner! He was the Reverend, I was just 8 and I was a sinner for what I had done.
For a while in my life, I would chastise myself for selling myself for chips and pop.
Bleek-
|
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1460
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 01:22 pm: |
|
Dayum, Bleek! Your life sure sounds like it would make an interesting "memoir." |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1493
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 01:51 pm: |
|
Ladies,
HAHA!
Hey! Yawl know a brotha’s jus’ trynah keep it all real up in this piece. ‘Sides. I don’t know. But, to me, if you ain’t had to pay for it, you’ll do it again. And it usually start with something as (seemingly) benign as some kid showing an ingenue Cynique his peety-wheat-straw.
And what do you call a ‘Chester’ who’s a husband/father, pays his bills on time, a pillar of his community and a faithful church patron...a ‘Chester’.
Cynique,
Yeah. But the devils $#*+ is usually pretty obvious.
Brelei,
These days, to get kids married BEFORE sex, you’d haftah start hitchin’ dem up while they still enjoy watching the "Tella Tubbies" ("BIG HUG!" "La Lalala Lala La La. La Lalala Lala La La!").
Bleekindigo,
GOD bless you, my sistah for your generosity.
Sadly, you experienced with happens ALL THE TIME to innocent little girls like yourself. And you gottah know it what happened and how you responded to it was IN NO WAY your fault.
You were just an innocent little girl who, simply, liked potato chips.
And THAT is one of the many SAD things about what so often happens. You trusted someone that you’ve been entrusted with by people who should protect you...and in the blink of an eyes, something happens that changes your ENTIRE life.
Again, it happens ALL THE TIME.
Have you spoken of this to you dear family and friends? If not, I sincerely pray that you do. But please do so not to shame or blame, but simply to acknowledge that this is what happened to me, that it might in part explain some of what I think/do.
And I point no finger. So just please still love me as I love you.
Brelei, Bleekindigo, Miss_wysteria and Cynique (and all you ladies),
Thank you for sharing your pain with us. None of us can offer any cure for whatever misery you have/do endure. It would be foolhardy even for us to try.
But you persevere and thrive in spite of the evil others have done to you. And you inspire other victims who might hear and read of your survival to flourish as well.
|
Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 124
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:19 pm: |
|
You were just an innocent little girl who, simply, liked potato chips.
ABM THAT WAS FUNNY!!! I know what you're saying, but the simplicity in that statment made me laugh. How simple that truth really is. I did just like potato chips--and sadly---I still do--which does nothing to assist my workout program!! I do not like pop anymo though!
And, thanks for the kind words--annnnd, I am loved.
Cynique, i'd imagine that most folks' lives would make marvelous memoirs. Well, some folks! |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 36
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:34 pm: |
|
ABM you could have racked up at the BET comedy awards....you are funny. LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA....lol. but you know maybe that's not a bad idea. hook da kids up young and be like 'dis here yo' husband fo' when you get big'...'dis here yo' wife'.lol.
WHOA MISS CEILY, HOWS YOU MAKES A PAIR A' PANTS DAT FITS BOFS ME AN' SOPHIA???
sorry....color purple moment. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1500
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:34 pm: |
|
Bleekindigo,
It really is that simple. That is why it is so paradoxically sad and funny.
Because the truth is, in most situations that this abuse occurs, it happens in the most benign/ordinary circumstances. There's seldom a girl being grabbed from a bustop or a midnight stranger climbing thru her open window.
More often then not, it (figuratively) is about sharing "potato chips".
BTW: I think the baked chips are healthier than the fried ones...though they aren't as deliciously greasy. (hehe!)
Brelei/Bleekindigo,
I think you are 'physical' friends. Yes?
If so, the 2 of you can form a local support group. And perhaps part of what you do to help yourselves and other would be, to follow Cynique's advice, write/recite/share memoirs of your personal experiences. |
Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 127
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:44 pm: |
|
WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL ABM, WE AIN'T "PHyyyyyyyYSICAL" FRIENDS, BUT WE IZ "PHYSICAL" FREEENZ!!! HER MOMMMA TAUGHT ME HOW TO MAKE MUD PIES WHEN I WAS A WEEEEE GURL. AND WHEN I RAN AWAY, I RAN AWAY TO BRELEI'S HOUSE!!! AND HER MOMMA AND MY MOMMA HAD AFROS TOGETHA --THEY WUZ GURL FREEEENZ AND SO ME AND BRELEI BECAME GURL FREEEENZ TOO--NO, MORE LIKE PLAY-CUZINS!
And your idea is one to definitely be considered.
Bleek- |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1501
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:46 pm: |
|
Brelei,
My wife talk ALL THE TIME about hoping that our daughters marry early. Though that is not a particularly politically correct thing to think/feel, we REALLY believe that is key for their overrall health-well being.
If they chose not to marry at all, I will be disappointed. But I will accept that (though I’ll probably suspect they are lesbian until they toss dirt on top of my coffin). But if they do want to marry, I pray that they do sooner rather than later.
Because I don’t want them to be passed around like last month’s magazine from one naredowell to the next. Not only is there that imminent/growing specter of disease. But I think that THAT all that flipflopping amongst mates make it evermore difficult for our daughters to discern what qualities are most important to for their men to have if/when the truly good man finally does come strolling by.
Though the Harpo/Celie combo is not exactly a ringing endorsement for what I propose. (hehe!)
BTW: HAHA! My knowing that "La Lalala Lala La La. La Lalala Lala La La!" just proves I have some very persuasive daughters. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1502
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:51 pm: |
|
Bleekindigo,
HAHA!
Touché.
I suppose all of my sexually ambivalent suggestiveness can confuse things a might bit 'round here, huh? But, yeah, I meant "physical" in the "Girl, let's go shoppin!" sense. Not in the "Darling, I hope they pass that same-sex marriage law" sense. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1503
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 30, 2004 - 02:54 pm: |
|
...Of course, though, either way yawl sway is a-okay with ABM.
Right Miss_wysteria? |
Brelei715
Regular Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 37
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, October 01, 2004 - 10:14 am: |
|
yes, i would hope mine marry sooner than later also. i want them to be able to be married for years and years and years. not meet that perfect person at 45 and then live out the rest of their lives...although if that is the plan laid out, i must accepts...the harpo/celie thang just came out cause i'm crazy...i'm a tv/movie addict and sometimes i just fall into a scene...lol. and yes bleek is my dizzog, my nizzle fa shizzle lizzle bizzle...lol. |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 979
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, October 17, 2004 - 03:12 pm: |
|
hey bre
I was wondering, did you or anyone else in your family seek professional counseling for the rape that your uncle committed on you? I would like to discuss this more with you if you don't mind. If it is too painful, I certainly will understand, you just seem to be handling it really well and I'd like to explore how you manage to do this.
Peace!
|
Brelei715
Veteran Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 62
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 11:20 am: |
|
Hey A_womon,
Actually I don't mind talking about it, I figure if you ignore the pain and not speak on it it only seeps in deeper and hurts alot more. As for the counseling no one has but in the last few days/weeks I've been thinking that maybe we should have. I know it has affected all of us differently but somewhat the same. I can only speak for myself, I get my stregnth from my mom and she gets her from God. I can only credit him for what you see and hear from this side. Yes I seem to manage it well but I still have issues I need to work out. I trust that just as the Lord has guided and protected us (although it is bad, it could have been worse) all these years that he will continue to do. I also belive that what you see is somewhat of a mask, if ever you met me you'd think 'damn she is always sooooo happy alllll the time' (it takes alot to to make me show anger on the outside) but trust that inside I am just as broken as the next person. I just hate confusion and sadness so much that if I gotta fake it I just do.
does that make sense? girl i'm tired so I may not be making much sense right now (it's bleek's fault....that girl can party til the cops come knockin'....lol). |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 981
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 12:29 pm: |
|
BRE,
Thanks for sharing, I would like to use you as a "case study" to get some background info for my new book. I don't want it to get all deep and stuff, neither do I want to probe into sore spots from your past. However, my email is jalenjalen@hotmail.com and if you have days that you feel like sharing your feelings on what happened to you, or just want to chat in general,please feel free to email me! Thank You so much bre, i appreciate it.
I have several other women and young ladies that are sharing with me their experiences like yours, so please don't feel obligated in anyway, or feel that you have to do this. |
Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 153
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 01:08 pm: |
|
A-womon,
What will your book be about exactly?
Is it fiction? Nonfiction?
Bleek- |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 982
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 01:16 pm: |
|
Hi Bleek!
It's fiction, I don't want to give away my plot here, but it is about, rape and incest within a black family. Im talking to women who have experienced this to see how they have dealt with the affects, and to see how it has impacted thier lives. I want the book to seem as real as possible, I think this will help in defining how my lead character feels and reacts in other areas of her life.
Thanks for asking! You can feel free to email me too if you like! |
Brelei715
Veteran Poster
Username: Brelei715
Post Number: 63
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 02:20 pm: |
|
A-womon,
I would love to share with you. I'll send you an email but it'll probaley be tomorrow (they got me really busy at work today). my email is brelei715@yahoo.com. Later....
|
Lambd
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lambd
Post Number: 660
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 09:52 pm: |
|
Hey_woman! Is it okay if I email you too. I don't want to talk about rape or nothin'. I want to talk about us. I think its about time we stop fakin' and let our lust consume us. You heard what Kola said. We would make a great couple. You are pretty and petite, and I am just as horny as a bullfrog 150% of the time. But I'm not just interested in sex. I'm interested in your body as well. I know plenty of hoochies that we can send to beat up Moonbabies if that will get me on...Well, just think about it. |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 993
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 10:01 pm: |
|
YES Lambd,
You can email me...I have a few questions to axe you! I just thought of something...you wrote me TWO poems...thank you Lambd. |
Lambd
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lambd
Post Number: 665
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 18, 2004 - 10:50 pm: |
|
You are soooo welcome, My_woman. 'Twern't nuthin' really....**Lambd gushing and raising his unibrow while kicking invisible rocks with his hands behind his back in full 'Aww shucks mode'*** |
Email This Page