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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1349
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 05:03 pm: | 
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This thread is intended to provide a dynamic listing of many of the funniest things said on Thumper's Corner Discussion Board.
To best enjoy this, I'll ask we ALL do the following:
@ Please do not take anything listed here personally. 'Sides. You all ready endured being the ‘butt’ of the joke. So you should be over it by now.
@ Please keep the joke fairly brief in length (I know. Looks who’s talking, right?), though (brief) provide the whatever background is needed to support the joke.
@ Try not to exclusively target anyone. (Yeah Lambd. I know some of our Yukio stuff is sweeter than double chocolate cotton candy. But we probably should cut him SOME slack.)
@ Briefly include the thread title and the posters name, date and time.
@ Briefly explain WHY you felt the joke was funny.
I am not prepared to list what I think is the funniest joke as my tastes are a bit to organic/varying for me to do that. But I will include one just posted today that was pretty dang funny.
Thread: "Let's Talk-"
Authors: Cynique
Date/time: 9/23/04 2:34 pm
Joke: "...the only way I could be [Miss_wysteria’s] mother is if I were impregnated by a mutated alien from a dying planet"
Why funny: I can't help visualizing Cynique being that Queen Alien mama in those Sigourney Weaver Alien movies giving birth to an acid spewing alien baby Kola. HAHA!
I look forward to see your offerings.  |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 791
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 05:15 pm: |
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Cynique said: the love of money is the root of all evil!
Abm said:And the love of @*$$% is the root of all babies.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1386
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 05:26 pm: |
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Cynique says: "Ol Cynique is keeping an eye out"
ABM says: Didn’t your opthamologist say you should keep that inside your head or it will get smudged?
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1387
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 05:49 pm: |
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Excerpt from a "conversation" between Lambd and Abm, salivating about the possibility of being whipped by Moonsigns.
Lambd says: "She's the one that always has a brush in her hand.
"ABM says: Is it for her hair or her kids? The one for the kids might have harder, more painful bristles (which, I suppose might be jus’ the way you like it)
Lambd says: "Should I let Moonie spank me or do I have to trust her first?"
ABM says: Any self-respecting Black man knows you can DEFINITELY trust a White person to beat dat @$$ good-n-properly like. Dat’s one of the things they’re MOST skilled at.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1388
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 07:10 pm: |
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Had to wade through a lot of shyt to find this hilarious outburst from an incensed Miss Wisteria excoriating Cynique for the crime of being old and light-skinned and
"Cause I am one skewered African bitch that you WILL NOT dictate to, you geritol-guzzling snot colored skank!! Go bark at somebody else's car, OLD YELLER, because if you keep barking at mines...I'm liable to run your Good Witch of the East ass over!"
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Miss_wysteria
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Miss_wysteria
Post Number: 224
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 09:05 pm: |
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*****SPECIAL TREAT*****
To obtain a FREE COPY of the recent interview with Kola Boof's MOTHER, Claudine Johnson, (the Black American woman who, along with her husband, adopted Kola Boof in 1979 and raised 8 children in S.E. Washington, D.C.) just contact "Nkenge Toure" at WPFW RADIO in Washington, D.C.
The 1 hour program also features Kola Boof and her sister, Spring.
*********
My mother is a wonderful Black woman from the South who brought the city of Washington, D.C. to tears as she explained HOW she and my father adopted me from SUDAN via Great Britian and brought me to America.
This is an interview that you will CHERISH.
CYNIQUE:
My sister SPRING is "high yellow" and she and I often laugh our asses off at how SERIOUS you have taken my attacks on your "coloring" and YOU (as well she should)---mainly because SPRING knows that..........bet not nobody mess with you and let Kola find out about it.
And now that I've gotten that bit of MUSH out of my heart.
I'm busy, busy getting ready for Chicago's event. Wish me luck, ENDORA.
I'll twitch my nose if I need you.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1389
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 23, 2004 - 10:04 pm: |
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What's funny about that? You can always be depended upon to be disruptive. This is supposed to be a compilation of humorous remarks from past threads. Who gives a damn about your book event or your biography? It should be obvious by now that I don't. |
Bleekindigo
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 100
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 10:32 am: |
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Cynique says: "I come alive at night"
ABM says: Yet still watch Oprah and Jerry Springer during the day.
Cynique says: "I experience very eerie emanations when I stare in the mirror too long"
ABM says: Still haven't quite got over the effects of your '70's flirtation with LSD, have you?
Cynique says: "I also have a little werewolf in me..."
ABM says: You know their are laws against that kind of behavior.
Cynique says: "...because the moon has a very profound effect on me"
ABM says: Baby, I don't think that's fly with the animal cruelty people. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1353
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 11:05 am: |
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You ladies are being especially kind to the author of this thread. But thanks anyway. Cause anytime I can score me some propers on the cheap, um takin’em. (hehe!)
Here are a couple more:
@ A_womon’s recently saying that I was "...seeing green in the SNOW" when referring to my being 'jealous' of Lambd/Moonsigns’ ragin’ Jungle Fever.
Though afield of A_womon’s intent, it reminds me of when I enjoyed cursive writing my name in newly fallen snow. Of course then, the ‘ink’ color of choice was not "green"...it was ‘yellow’.
@ Ditto on Miss_wysteria calling her arch nemesis Cynique "OLD YELLER".
Man! THAT one’s Hall of Fame material! It is funny for too many reasons for me to recount here (not the least of which being I can’t help but visualize a furry Cynique being down on all fours and barking at raccoons). |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 792
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 11:40 am: |
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Carey said:
Here o great Thump, take this fine young virgin.....(he won't know)virgin, and feast a plenty, grant us O' great one, many years of romping around in your garden. Take this fine dark beauty as a gift and show of our loyalty and appreciation. Please O Great One, grant us your blessing and your pity, for we know not what A_Womon was going to do. Please O Round Belly, let your wishes be that Cyn-Cyn doesn't get caught stealing anymore fingernail polish from the five n' dime. We lower our heads to thee. And one mo' thing O loving father of the board, tear out ABM's tongue if you please, rip out Lambchops heart, if you so desire but please please please have mercy on us all......especially Carey, he been good. So O great one take this young virgin *wink*, we found her on the block but she clean, do with her as you Please, and forgive us all
hahahahahahaha! damn Carey, that was funnee as hell! |
Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 101
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 01:25 pm: |
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YES A-WOMAN!!! I LAUGHED AND LAUGHED AT THAT ONE!!! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1359
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 01:42 pm: |
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Bleekindigo,
DITTO!
A_womon,
Hey! What part of Carey’s HILARIOUS 'prayer' did you enjoy the most? The part of about your being a (laughingsohardaveininmyheadwillburst!!!)... "virgin"? |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 1396
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 02:03 pm: |
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Why doesn't somebody post that hilarious bit Lambd wrote, suggesting the name selections for the Moonie/Wisteria massage parlour? I can't find it. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 248
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 02:10 pm: |
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Cynique,
I can't find it either, but it was really funny! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 1363
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 02:35 pm: |
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Yeah. That one was a RIOT!
Here it is...
Thread: Serena, The Warrior Princess!
Author: Lambd
Posted on Thursday, September 09, 2004 - 04:02 pm:
Wysteria and Moonsigns can open a massage parlor called, "Ebony and Ivory",
how bout, "Dark Side of the Moon",
how bout, "The Wigger, the Better",
how bout, "Kola's Nutcase",
or maybe even "Rub Me the White Way" massage parlor.
And the number one name for the massage parlor owned by a busty African Queen and her lunar-lovin' white partner....(drumroll)...."MoonMelons"!
I still say my favorite is "Rub Me the White Way". HAHA! |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 793
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 02:41 pm: |
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Bleek:
I am still laughing my ass off! BUT...carey wasn't talkin about me as the virgin... although I still would've found it hil-ar-ious!! if he had been!
Oh my gawd!! RUB YOU THE WHITE WAY!!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHA!! TTHAT ish is funnee!!!! |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 794
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 02:55 pm: |
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Some more Lambd humor!
Carey>>>All a you should know by now the C-neek is ma woman! I don't know about all this stuff you is talkin, but iff n you un hur havin sexual in yo window, wont ya git cold?
Abm>>> If n hur n Mistah Carey havin sexual in yo window, how-n-d hell is yo gonna see thru da ceelin mirror?
C-neek..I preciate you acallin me ripe n all, but if n you gonna keep havin all a dis here sexual in yo window wit deez here felllers, I'm gonna hafta object!
Were-n-dee-hell is Thump-daddy at? |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 249
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 02:55 pm: |
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!
Yeah, "Rub Me the White Way" --too damn funny! That is the best one! |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 795
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 05:31 pm: |
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I'm sorry yall, but this sh*t was funny too!
Thumper said:
Hold up and the "Sunshine" alias. *LOL* Talk about having an "OK class, the word for today is OXYMORON!" moment! *LOL* Everytime I think about it I get tickled. *LOL* And then when you compare yourself...*taking a second to pause and catch my breath--Help me Jesus*...when you compare yourself to Toni Morrison. *LMAO* Don't do it to me, don't do it, *LOL* I can't take it *ROTFLMAO* give me a second, I got to catch my breath again.
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Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 104
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 05:51 pm: |
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YEAH, A_WOMAN, THAT IS FUNNY--CUZ HE WAS JUST LAAAAAAAUGHINNNNNN!!! He could hardly get it out!!!! |
Bleekindigo
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Bleekindigo
Post Number: 105
Registered: 06-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 05:55 pm: |
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Cynique!!!!! YOU ARE TERRIBLE-TERRIBLE-TERRIBLE--(whisper-but i still laughed out loud)when you said:
When I heard Reagan was dead, my first thought was - how could they tell?? LOL
Ooooh, oooooh, Cyn- Dat ain't right!! DAt ain't right!! But it ain't got to be right to be funny--AND IT WUUUUZ FUNNY!!! |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 796
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 24, 2004 - 06:02 pm: |
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HAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! You right Bleek, that wuz funnnneee!!! |
A_womon
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 800
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 25, 2004 - 04:05 pm: |
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Lambd said:
The boys up in the penetentiary tell me there's a website where Viggo's got make-up and a print skirt on. No drawers at all. He took those pix especially for his fans in the prison system. The caption reads, "Let Viggo pick up the soap for you. He always bends at the waist. Never at the knees. He put the "doll" in "Hidollgo".
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAAA!! |
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