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Thumper
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, October 19, 2003 - 10:03 pm: | 
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Hello All,
I have some random thoughts to share.
1.) From the looks of all the inspirational, how-I-found-Jesus books I get, we must be the most amoral, directionless, non-religious people on the face of the earth. We didn't come to still be here due to a lark. So, while you are looking foward at the future, look back and see who got us this far and carry Him with you on your journey. Now, that's my inspirational message and you didn't have to spend a single dollar to read it. *smile*
2.) Aretha really did make some pretty records on Columbia. Her new CD, So Damn Happy, is da BOMB.
3.) Recently started Mary Morrison's new book, He's Just a Friend. Women, tell me something, if a man is cheating on his wife, girlfriend, significant other to be with you, why in the Hell, would you want him? Come on now, ain't y'all heard a word Iyanla been trying to tell you?
4.) If you ever want to tick somebody off, tell the truth on 'em. It does it every time.
5.) I was reading He's Just a Friend until Toni Morrison's new book came across my desk. Boy, that woman sho knows how to come up with an opening sentence! Let me know what y'all think about it.
6.) Poor Kobe. He walked into a trap. Now, tell me, either she was trying to set him up (mainly due to his own stupidity, it's like W.C. Fields said, "you can't cheat an honest man") or that girl is just plain nasty or both? What is with these women keeping day dirty draws and then want somebody to inspect them? That's nasty baby! Here this woman goes in, claims she's raped by Kobe, and another man's sperm is in her draws. Nasty. People wash after you get done with you know. Don't roll around in it. I'da been shamed to let people know I was filthy.
7.) For the people who voted in Arnold for governor, all I have to say is this. Stupidity is not a goal one should strive to achieve. It ain't cute. |
Cynique
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 20, 2003 - 02:35 pm: |
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Thumper writes:
3.) Recently started Mary Morrison's new book, He's Just a Friend. Women, tell me something, if a man is cheating on his wife, girlfriend, significant other to be with you, why in the Hell, would you want him? Come on now, ain't y'all heard a word Iyanla been trying to tell you?
Cynique respondes: If I were the "other woman" I wouldn't be concerned about the object of my desire cheating on me. I would want him for the need he satisfied in my life, and let his wife worry about his faithfulness. If I cared enough for him, I would not require his undivided attention or would I delude myself into thinking that I could be the center of his universe. And that's because he would not be the center of mine. Once a woman can get past the white picket fence and the societal pressure to have kids mind-set, she can put a mate in prospective. She can regard a man as a facet in the mosaic of her full life. One thing I agree with Oprah about, is that a woman has to learn to love herself and not allow herself to be defined by a man, be she married or single. Total committment is for control freaks. I don't call myself Cynique for nothing! LOL
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Carey
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 20, 2003 - 08:01 pm: |
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Hello Cynique
Now you know I just had to ask this question because your post seemed to be written by someone who knows a little something about being "the other women" *smile*. Are you saying what Bill Wither said in his song. You know the one that went something like "keep on using me" ......"because I sure....
help me out . What were the lines to that song |
Cynique
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 20, 2003 - 11:06 pm: |
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Yes, Carey, - I think the rest of the lyrics to that song went "I'm gonna spread the news, that if it feels this good being used, then just keep on using me, until you use me up!" heh-heh. When I was in my 20s I played a lot of roles in the mating game. And until this day, I've always been someone who could prioritize my preferences. What I advocate is my own personal approach to fulfillment, and I do understand that others might find my philosophy totally whacked.
C'est la Vie! |
AnonymousX
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 12:27 am: |
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Cynique, are you married? If not, have you ever been married? |
sisgal
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 10:26 am: |
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Cynique,
Well said. Experience teaches us to never say never, everything ain't what it is, and sometimes we bend, so we don't break.
More words to the song..
"Ahaha my brother if you only knew, you wish that you were in my shoes...you just keep on using me....until you use me up." |
Soul Sister
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 10:50 am: |
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Hey all,
You know I have to chime in -- as for the mate or not to mate be a cheater or stay faithful. What can one say? According to my faith everyone was given free will to do what they like, however, once a commitment is made to acknowledge the Creator God, than all that running around should cease -- but you still have free will.
In short, there are too many choices and not enough adults making the right decisions. Moral of the story, there are consequences for all actions, both big and small, temporal and eternal.
Now -- Thumper to this point:
1.) From the looks of all the inspirational, how-I-found-Jesus books I get, we must be the most amoral, directionless, non-religious people on the face of the earth. We didn't come to still be here due to a lark. So, while you are looking foward at the future, look back and see who got us this far and carry Him with you on your journey. Now, that's my inspirational message and you didn't have to spend a single dollar to read it. *smile*
I love it - your wit - however, I do not read the Jesus books because I have not found any of their writers captivating enough. Plus, I love murder and that aint too holy -- what can I say. I suppose that the religious market is in some ways as trite as the mainstream you-go-gurl books -- don't read them either.
What am I reading now:
Hottentot Venus Barbara Chase-Ribound
Property by Valerie Martin -- I think
and Honoring Sargent Carter by Allene Carter
finished Rules for a Pretty Woman by Suzette Francis good story a little weak towards the end.
Whew, that is more than enough sounding off for me - though y'all know I can talk about myself for hours -- remember free will is yours freely but there is always a price you gotta pay-- peace
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Cynique
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 02:04 pm: |
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Soul Sister:
I appreciate your input. You can always be depended upon to share you wisdom.
AnonymousX:
Yes, I exercised my option to wed, but I do not think of my marriage as a prison or regard myself as my husband's warden. Furthermore, I have never relinquished my right to indulge myself to the fullest, and I am as satisfied with my situation as my friends who have chosen a more convention union are with theirs. To me, it's all about discretion, about what life means to you and about being secure in who you are. Naturally, I feel that my credo is not that difficult to be compatiable with if you don't think of a man as your property, or if you don't allow yourself to get caught up in allowing your world to totally revolve around your children. You can call me selfish and I will agree, because I am not a "selfless" person. You can introduce the word "trust" and I will say do not place your faith in the fraility of human nature. You can say I have shallow emotions and I will answer that I hug my loved ones with my arms open. Rest assured, however, that because I have so many other interests, I do not go around aggressively seeking romantic adventures. I am not easily impressed but I am not above being intrigued by what is different and stimulating. |
Cynique
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 02:28 pm: |
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sisgal, I forgot to thank you for your input, too. I liked what you said. |
Chris Hayden
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 02:57 pm: |
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Cynique:
For some reason in my mind I can picture you standing at the front door with a rolling pin waiting on your hubby to come in late like in them old Dagwood comic strips.
For what do you account this hallucination? |
Cynique
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 03:28 pm: |
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I have no idea, Chris. You are seldom right in the impressions you get of me. I am constantly correcting your assumptions. |
Carey
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, October 21, 2003 - 08:40 pm: |
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Sisgal and Cynique
Dat's it.
That song got me to thinking about the times I've caught myself singing along with a song and in the middle of it realized what the song was actually about ( I wish I could think of one). I know Y'all have done that. Actually I didn't know the real words to that song. I knew it had something to do with "every closed eye ain't sleep". For some reason I thought it ended with a line that said something like "you just keep on using me to do the thing I do becasue I sure am using you to do the things you do". Okay Sisgal or Cynique, help me out. Anyway, I think the message/theme is the same. It's almost like what Thump said about an honest man. Well, one might think he or she is baiting the hook when in fact they're the carp. Yeah, I liked that song and it wasn't about the lyrics, I believe it just had that sing along jiggle thing going for it.
BTW, Sisgal you ought to be ashamed of yourself knowing the words to that song *LOL*. I knew Cynique would know, ain't no shame in her game.
Just my little nothing.
Carey |
sisgal
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, October 22, 2003 - 10:16 am: |
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LOL, Carey,
You know I know what i know...can't help that.
Cynique,
you are welcome and bravo on being you...i really mean that!
Does anyone remember what album Aretha had with the song "Gotta find me an Angel"? I just gotta have it! And remember that song, "You"
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ABM
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 08:23 am: |
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Cynique,
So (Not judging, just asking.) are you basically saying in your response to Anonymous X that you and your husband can do whatever you want with whomever you want...so long as you do it 'quietly'?
Hmmmmm???
Yours appears to be a very modern viewpoint on love & marriage. And I suspect; as the pre-eminence of the "the Church" continues to ebb, as women garner more socio-economic power and liberty and as both men & women increasingly view marriage less as a permanent bond and more as a transient alliance; your laissez faire lifestyle will likely become more prevalent and acceptable (as is the current cultural ascendance of homosexuality).
Of course, you probably would agree such carnal freedom and enlightenment is quickly flushed down the proverbial 'turlet' when someone acquires an unwanted pregnancy...or a disease.
BTW: Since you are sort of a "free love" kinda gal, you've got me wondering: Did you also STAR in that porn film that you helped produce? |
lurkerette
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 08:53 am: |
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What's the point in getting married if you're not gonna live by the pledge you made? You may as well co-habit.
re Kobe. The point isn't if she's a slut, the point is whether he did it or not. |
Anonymous
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 10:02 am: |
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Two points, first ABM:
This is not something new, in fact a lot of men have been behaving this way for centuries, I can name at least two grandfathers, a host of uncles, daddy and momma in my clan. Although, it's never talked about, and probably done on the downlow, the fact is, it was done. Daddy had a girlfriend, mama had a boyfriend, and neither the two shall meet, the marriage lasted, or it didn't but it wasn't because of the infidelity. Marriage is based on much more than that, it's partnership, it's love for the family. So no, it's not something new, Cynique was just bold enough to express what already is and was.
Oh yeah, since biblical times and before men have had many wives, shared, cohabitated etc...Once again men want to redefine things when it comes to women...the double standard, but heres a little secret...woman have been doing it too!
Secondly, Lurkerette - What pledge? "To love and honor, to death do you part, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others....what in Cyniques message that led you to believe that she is simply cohabitating? Or that she is not living by the pledge, or maybe you think that somewhere in the pledge we say "I pledge to never have feelings for another human being, never to be attracted to another or act on those feelings, never to commit adultery of the mind or body." NOT. It's not there. To each is own. |
Chris Hayden
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 10:34 am: |
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ABM:
It ain't particularly a modern attitude. It is one that has persisted for centuries.
I know the tradition, belief, or what have you that the most important reason for marriage is romantic love has great credence in our society. This is a fairly new idea. It is probably a big reason for the number of divorces today--people fall in love, get married and fall out of love or realize that even though they love someone they don't make a good or suitable or compatible spouse.
The main reason for marriage is for procreation and to insure devolution of property and establish heirship. People have often existed within marriage in an arrangement, so to speak: the wife, or the husband does they own thang within the confines of the marriage.
I think monogamy is best--but it seems to me to be an arrangement few are able to maintain which is why we honor folks who do.
That pledge, with the advent of no fault divorce, is pretty meaningless-- |
AnonymousX
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 10:46 am: |
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Anonymous, doesn't "forsaking all others" mean to not commit adultery? |
Anonymous
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 11:05 am: |
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To AnonymousX,
"NO." I believe it's subjective. You, the pledgee assert your own meaning into it, so maybe for you, that's what it meant. Sometimes, it's not even said, did you know that, does that mean the two people being married are off the hook? Anyway, Chris said it best. |
ignoranceain'tbliss
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 11:20 am: |
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Hmm semantics at play and since it's supposedly subjective--good one never heard that before--subjective in my book 'forsaking all others' means that you're not married to me and committing adultery with someone else. And since it's subjective, I hope that both parties agreed on the 'subjective' meaning because otherwise that marriage is headed to hell in a handbasket. maybe this is why so many marriages fell; the wife is thinking that forsaking all others means just that and the husband is thinking'oh baby it's subjective that's not what I meant when I took those vows.' What the hail?! |
Cynique
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 12:09 pm: |
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I think all of you have made valid points and I have to admit to being surprise at how broadminded most of you are. I think we would all agree, however, that this is a subject that is extremely personal, and one that I'm not inclined to debate because it's all about "different strokes for different folks." I am not seeking converts to my point of view because how one approachs this idea depends on one's personality, and we are all different in our emotional make-up. Finally, I would reiterate that I am not easily impressed, so it's not like promiscuity is a factor in my "peripheral vision". |
Mr. Immigrant
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 04:50 pm: |
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Cynique I cannot resist mentioning that you continue to have an awful lot in common with your former nemesis from Sudan. (Smile). So, as I surmised before, you "are" the mother of Snake Girl. LOL
No need to respond, I know your response anyway and I'm going back to lurk mode. But I am developing a crush on you, Cynique. Like SG, you're a very smart woman.
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Carey
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 08:19 pm: |
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HOLD UP NOW, LETS GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT.
Chris said: "That pledge, with the advent of no fault divorce, is pretty meaningless"
Is it the pledge that's meaningless?
IMO the pledge is fine , it's the individuals behind the pledge, their word, their honesty and loyalty that's in question, and apparently meaningless.
The main reason for marriage is NOT for procreation nor to insure the devolution of property.
It is a commitment, your honest word that you intend to share and enjoy the rest of your lives together. Romantic love could be an element within that union as could procreation but I believe it's about sharing this thing called life, together, for the rest of your lives. Of course all union are not the same but traditionally it's meant to be shared with you and yours.
Yeah, lying, sneaking, and sleeping around has been around for years, yep, there's nothing new about that, that's for sure.
Carey |
Junebug
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 08:27 pm: |
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Uh huh, Cynique AKA LAQUEETA, I bet'choo thought I ain't KNOW how tah USE no 'pyootah, didn't'cha!? Well I done learnt maself to log on and now I SEE what you be up to! We been togevva fo' 8 years, got three kidz, a two bedroom apartment and ALL! I gave you DA LIFE, Gurl! Put them keys to the Pinto on the table cuz YOU'VE BEEN BUSTED!!!!!
((B.W.S. I'm sorry, Sis. I can't stop. lol)) |
Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 08:40 pm: |
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Okay, okay.. Seriously. (And I'll type more later.)
Well it's like this. Life is interesting and no matter how much you think you know or how far you'd like to believe you've gotten, you can never be too sure of what you will come to learn or where you will come to go. Now every individual must make his/her own decisions but decisions made are in no way totally isolated from that individual's experiences..
At the end of the day, the individual must deal with the affects of these decisions (and noone will feel it be it joy or pain like the individual), and this is precisely why I try to just always keep in mind. Other people make their own decisions as I make my own.. Whose decisions are "right"? Whose are "wrong"? Reality is relative and it varies just as much as the people who are philosophying about it.
To end it, what you thought was dead wrong yesterday you might see as the best thing that ever happened to you tomorrow. Likewise, what you on yesterday thought was the best thing that ever happened to you might be marked in your mind tomorrow as the worst thing you could have ever allowed to enter your space. As we move through life, we find out that the what learn tomorrow constantly reminds us of what we did not know the day before..
:-) Coming from a 24 year old who ain't skurred to admit that she will be learning until she croaks and probably even after then.. |
Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 08:43 pm: |
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**Oops. That was supposed to be "effects". Scyooz all ma spellin'/grammatical "erraz".lol And don' be carreckkin' me eeda! :-)** |
K
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 10:02 am: |
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Soul Sister,
What are you thoughts so far on Valerie Martins Property. I finally got around to reading the article in Essence and I'm intrigued. |
lurkerette
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 11:38 am: |
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Anonymous - The "you" wasn't directed at Cynique. It was just a general observation.
There is a discussion about the institution of marriage on the other board.
Personally, I don't see the point. It's outdated -look at J-Lo (not that she's a benchmark or anything). She seems to take her relationships with the people she dates more seriously than the ones with the people she's marrying.
I can count on the fingers of one hand the people of my generation who have stayed married. But I do know a few who have been living together happily ever after without the licence. |
Chris Hayden
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 12:34 pm: |
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Carey:
Nowadays to get a divorce all you have to do is observe a residential period and state that the marriage is "irretrievably broken". You don't have to offer up any evidence on it, you don't have to define it and it does not matter if the other party to the marriage does not agree.
Basically you can walk out of a marriage any time you get ready and nobody can stop you by saying, "Well, you pledged to stay in sickness and in health--" etc. The pledge, unlike your signature on a contract or an oath of office is totally unenforceable. |
Thumper
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, October 25, 2003 - 09:36 am: |
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Hello All,
Sisgal: The song you mentioned by Aretha is "Angel". "I got a call the other day. It was my sister Carolyn, saying Aretha can you come by when you can, I got something that I want to say."
The song is from the album Hey Now Hey. The album cover has to be one of the ugliest in the history of music.
All: I thought the "forsaking all others" did not only include adultery, but not letting anyone come between the husband and the wife: not the mama, daddy, her big mouth best friend, nor his still single best friend, his Sunday football games, nor her constantly talking on the phone, etc. |
sisgal
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, October 27, 2003 - 02:41 pm: |
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Thanks Thumper,
I found it on the Best of Aretha cd.
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Carey
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, November 03, 2003 - 06:49 pm: |
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Chris
I see where you are coming from. Yeah you're right, nothing can stop a person from leaving. |
Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, November 04, 2003 - 03:27 pm: |
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I think too that so many marriages end in divorce because most of the people who have divorced never "really" wanted to be married in the first place.. |
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