    
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1771
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 15, 2009 - 12:49 pm: | 
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Hello
I am not going to church today, I went a few times earlier this week. It was our spring revival and several pastors spoke. Now am not saying anything but when you get several baptish preachers in one house all the women come out. Well, unlike some catholic priests, black preachers love black women. Now, again, I am not saying nothin' but there seems to be a match. Anyway, I've been preached to, hugged and stared at enough to hold me for this week. Aren't there certain kinds of hugs that make you question what's on the mind of the other person. You know, there's the hug you give your sister or brother. Then there's the motherly hug. Men hug each other differently. They usually grab each others hand and lean in while wrapping the other hand around the shoulder - right? Well, some of these church folk (women) have a hug that had me looking around. Isn't there a time limit to how long a hug should last. Let's see, 2-3 seconds is a pretty good hug, five seconds max. I swear, this one women was hugging me like I was her man. For real, I think she was even nibbling at my ear.
I knew I was in trouble with this other women because while we were hugging she hit me with the coffee line. In a soft and sultry voice she said, "we need to meet for a cup of coffee". I was wondering how she even knew I drank coffee. Then it dawned on me that coffee wasn't coffee. I don't know, it may just be me, maybe my head is in the wrong place. But, when I feel myself smashing up against triple E's and triple D's and turning them into pancakes, I know something is up. It wouldn't be so bad if they didn't wiggle while they were in your arms. I wonder if some people go places just for the hugs. I know women know what I am talking about, I bet there are some men that you DO NOT hug anymore.
Earlier in the week some of you gave me advice on blogging, I really appreciate that. Some said I should go to places that have topics that interests me and then I could jump right in. Well, my mind is like a pot of gumbo, there's a whole lot of stuff in there. See, on this board I am like the drunk uncle at the family get together. He is going to show up and he is going to be drunk. Yevettep was thinking that I should contact Troy and set up a little something with him. That would be nice but then he might say NO and tell me to stop putting that mess on his board  .
Hey, I was looking at the news this week and I swear I heard a governor say he wasn't going to take any of the stimulus money. Now come on, what kind of a fool is that. Is that racism at it's peak or what? I don't know, but talk about cutting off your nose in spite of your face. If it's true, that man should have his name and face plastered on ever billboard in America, along with those men that didn't vote Hank Arron to go into the baseball Hall of Fame. How could you not vote Hank Arron into the hall of fame. At that time he was the home-run leader of all time ...OF ALL TIME. I bet that governor doesn't even drive a car. Well, not if it's riding on black tires. Now, if a black man is driving it he might jump in ....might. I'd like to kick him square in his ass and ask him what the Fu*k is on his mind.
I am sorry for cussing but sometimes I just can't help myself. Cussing is a funny thang. Sometimes it's done for effect and sometimes it's done out of anger. I don't mind people cussing at me as long as it's done in the right way. If a black person says "You ah MFer", you might say, yeah, I am ain't I. We sometimes say it to mean "you are something else". Of course we know about the word "ni**er". I am on the fence on that one. Again, it depends on who's around and who's saying it. But there's this one phrase that always touches a funny nerve with me. That phrase is "kiss my ass". I don't know about you but I recoil when someone says that to me. I had this one women tell me to kiss her ass and I snapped. I told her that I didn't know anythang about her nasty ass so I certainly wasn't going to kiss it. In fact, there has only been a couple of woman's asses I've ever kissed and it sure wasn't hers *lol*. Besides, I didn't even know what part of her ass she was talking about. I think I'll leave that right there.
I am picking UConn to win the mens NCAA basketball championship. I have a special way of picking my team. I think I know a little about basketball but sometimes I can't make up my mind between a few teams. This is what I do. I look at a map of the US and every team west of the Mississippi is out. Okay ...I am sorry if your team was formed after the land rush. Then I look at what coach is making the most money. That shrinks it down to a number I can work with. Shoot, we know that money talks and er'body ain't honest. Them little guys can be had. Really, Joe Blow that is making little money might listen to someone offering him a nice piece of money to put Shaky Jake in the game that is not going to make no baskets. So that cuts all them little schools right out of the equation. They might get their roll out but they will not be holding up the championship trophy. Look, I don't want to sound racist but I then count the number of black players on the team. Hey, I know you remember that black bobsled team from Jamaica, how many of you picked them to win the Olympics? Where was I ...oh, black players, yeah, I look at the starting five. Now there are plenty of teams still in the mix so then I pull out the real gage. I look for the tallest brothas on the floor. Again, there is some big brothers out there but now the field is really getting small. I hate to say this but now I am looking for the ugliest brothas. I can say this because I am an ugly black brotha. I am not tall, that's why I know what an ugly tall brotha can do to you. Do you see the picture, there is a few teams left. Pittsburg is a good team and they have a few ugly black men on their team. Did you notice I said men. Is there an age limit for college basketball players? I wonder what their major is ...what, "growing up"? But my pick is the center from UConn. That brotha is so tall and ugly that he blocks more shots than some players make. Listen, some lose the ball when they get close to him ...really!
So there you have it. Get your money out and start looking for ugly players.
Gotta go, it's Sunday and the selections are coming out today. I'll come back with my final four. I might even pick a team from the west coast with a small yellow brotha.
Carey
Carey |
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