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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 7803
Registered: 03-2004

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Posted on Saturday, March 07, 2009 - 10:49 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

She should be as far away from Chris Brown as she can get. She is in the position to put him away for life. At least to get his bond revoked and get him locked down.

What do you think he might do to stop her from calling the cops on him if there is another problem?

http://www.mediatakeout.com/2009/31139-rihanna_refuses_to_take_out_order_of_prot ection_against_chris_brown__lawyer_pleads_with_court_to_allow_visitation.html

I believe this is going to have an unhappy ending.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique

Post Number: 13578
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Saturday, March 07, 2009 - 01:26 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Just for the sake of argument, I think people should mind their own business and let these 2 work out their lover's quarrel. Maybe Rihanna is of a mind to forgive Chris and wants to give him a second chance. He is in anger management therapy and is, after all, nothing more than an impulsive immature teenager.

When it comes to the "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me" litany, she is presently ahead of the game.

His "people" claim that he was on steroids to buff up his body, and that this made him very aggressive toward everyone, but that he has learned his lesson and is now off of these drugs. Whatever.
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Robynmarie
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Post Number: 895
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Posted on Saturday, March 07, 2009 - 08:08 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Playing Devil's advocate, heh? LOL

I can buy this premise. I would add, though, that they both need help and Chris should be punished. Or does he get one "bite of the ear" for free? Kinda like Mike Tyson?

As for Rihanna she is obviously torn and confused. The problem I suspect is even if she does not want to testify against him, the DA is bound to bring up his other violent outbursts and paint him as an out of control OJ wannabe. If his lawyer is smart, he'll plea bargain and put this whole mess to bed.
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Carey
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Username: Carey

Post Number: 1743
Registered: 05-2004

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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 12:15 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I get so tired of folks painting this man as some kind of monster. How many penitentaries would have to be built if every man or WOMEN was locked up for striking their mate. Give me a freakin' break.

Another part of this mess is the urgent cry for the both of them to seek "counseling". What the fk is counseling. Who the hell are "they". I want everyone to stand up and tell me they've had counseling and what it's done for them. I doubt few that are carrying this bull horn have ever been in counseling and if they have, it's even a smaller number that's been for domestic violence, if this even falls under that catagory.

Again, give me a fkin' break. Look, this reminds me of those that say a person with a drug problem should "go to treatment". What the hell is treatment. Right, most do not know a dam thing about treatment.

If you find yourself in a group of like thinking individuals, you might want to look around and listen to what they are not saying.

All this talk of lock him up and she's a fool tells me that people have just stop thinking. The people that are doing all the talking know nothing about these two kids. And, the fools listening and agreeing with them know even less.

Will the relationship last over time? Hell, most don't so what's the real question. Again, let everyone raise their hands that are still with the same person they were with in their teens. Give me a fuckin' break. Look in the mirror and then come back with some real feedback. Better yet, go see a counselor.
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Carey
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Username: Carey

Post Number: 1744
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 01:05 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What the f*ck is a counselor? Who the f*ck is a counselor? Stop, don't even say they are professionals that deals with certain kinds of problems. Professional at doing what? I'll tell you what most of them are and what they are not. In the area of human behavior, most "professionals" have a title that's says they've gone to school to analyse the behaviors of others. It does not say they've experienced any of the disorders others so blindly expect them to fix.

There are anger managment classes. I wonder how many of you have ever attended any of those classes. I wonder how many professionals had a probelm with violence and THEN went to school to correct it.

I wonder if OJ could have controled his anger probelm after witnessing his nasty ass wife snot cocaine and spread her nasty ass on several men.

Who's teaching these classes? A professional or someone that's been through the storm. Probably not the latter because they are monsters and should all be locked up -- right?

Be careful what you ask for, YOU might find yourself in the hands of the professionals.
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Robynmarie
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Post Number: 896
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 04:21 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Chris Brown does not need anger management. He obviously knows how to control his anger since he was quite subduded in the court room. The good news is he is young and there is time for him to modify his behavior.

He's got issues that are about to land him in the joint. And yes, the number of men who beat up women is small. But like Louis Farrakhan said, "if you have to beat her, you don't need her."

Denial is a river in Egypt.
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Carey
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Username: Carey

Post Number: 1745
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 09:34 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I agree with Louis Farrakhan.

By the way, denial is NOT a river in Egypt.

And, Chris Brown is not going to the joint. Well, he may be going to a juke joint but not a prison.

And, the number of men that beat up women is NOT small.
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Robynmarie
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 11:37 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sadly, as Charles Barkley is today, I believe Chris Brown, will spend some of his precious time behind bars for this (care to make a friendly wager, Bro Carey? :-).

Also, I cringe when folks try to make this a black thang. I remember when Tommy Lee pushed Pamela Anderson down the stairs when she was holding their baby, no body asked what she did to provoke it.
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Yvettep
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 03:16 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

More Black women die at the hands of their partners and ex-partners than other women. So while domestic violence may not be a "Black thang," it does disproportionately affect women in our communities. If folks are not inclined to care about Black women maybe they'd like to care about the Black children and Black men that domestic violence impacts. The impact on kids is pretty obvious. But did you know that men killed in families are often done so at the hands of their female partners? Many, if not most of these cases are likely the end of a long history of abuse.

This institute at the University where I rec'd my grad degree has some really great information and resources: http://www.dvinstitute.org/
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Carey
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Post Number: 1747
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 04:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good information Yvettep. I personally know of a few women that have killed their man. Yes, it was after years of some sort of violence. It's sad because just like in many sports the referee doesn't see the initial foul, only the retaliation. The women that I know of made the mistake of killing their man while they slept. There's another side to this as well. One women got out of jail to kill again ...AND she's out again!

Brown Robyn, I am not a betting man but a friendly wager seems to be right up my alley. Now, lets set the guidelines. I am not talking about house arrest or community service. I am talking about the joint ...cool? Now, what do you feel comfortable parting with? :-) You call the bet.

Hey Yvettep, some of those statistics may be a little shaded because in many countries the man may not be prosecuted as tough for harming his wife. And, in some countries a women doesn't have the right to even show their face in public, so the dynamics are a little different.

I am laughing because I can just hear some saying that if a women starts acting like a man, she can get her ass kicked like one :-(.
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Robynmarie
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Post Number: 898
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 04:53 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yvettep, thanks so much for the link. I attended this event two years ago and am pleased to see it is returning to Long Beach. What I was particularly inspired by is the number of black men involved in domestic abuse education and prevention.


Bro Carey, still thinking about our friendly wager. I am betting CB does some time in L.A. County or some Cali state pen, where OJ, Robert Downey, Jr. Keifer Sutherland and Paris Hilton did their time.
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Carey
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Post Number: 1748
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 06:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Brown Robin, you know the song ..."don't start turning me off, right in the middle of turning me on"

I've been in a few backroom gambling joints and you would fit right in. You might look a little better than some of those thugs but you have the spirit. You can't call a bet and hedge it the way you have. The county jail is not prison, although it does have bars. Some have open-bay type sleeping areas. A person can go to a county jail on a driving infraction. Don't get me wrong, there are some county lockups that the average person does not want to visit but ....

I am almost inclined to accept your bet the way you have structure it but ...but my ol'school heart just won't let me. I bet he doesn't go to a state pen ...bet? I am trying to work with you. How about this, I bet he doesn't get "convicted" of a felony.
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Libralind2
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Username: Libralind2

Post Number: 1192
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 08:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Carey while your getting so upset about this..when is the last time a mofo sat on you and beat you like you were nothing. Or held a gun on you and told you they would kill you if you screamed. You have no idea what is in Chris Brown's head so you and all men who think this was some kind of whim need to drink some shyet that turns you into a woman and walk in our shoes for 5 minutes.
LiLi abuse survivor
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Robynmarie
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Post Number: 899
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Posted on Sunday, March 08, 2009 - 10:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Bro Carey, does a plea bargain count as a conviction?
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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption

Post Number: 3577
Registered: 10-2005

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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 12:43 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"....does a plea bargain count as a conviction?

Yep..........
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Carey
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Username: Carey

Post Number: 1749
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 02:39 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LiLi, I don't know what you are talking about.

Where do you think I have differences with this whole subject? In another thread I talked about my position on domestic violence. I've NEVER said his acts were justified.

As I've always said I think that there are many that visit this board that have been the victim of some kind of an assault by a lover.

I even asked others to share parts of their experience and how they handled it. It's hard to share those experiences but I would assume there are many stories with many endings.

You might want to drink some shyt that turns you into a man and come back and holler. Nobody said this was a whim. But I do know that there are men/kids that have hit a women and do NOT go on to be life long women beaters. Every case is different. Now, if you ask me if I think C. B. should go to the joint for this, I 'd say no. It's obvious you think differently.
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Carey
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Username: Carey

Post Number: 1750
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 02:54 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

NYSF is correct, Brown Robin, it is a conviction. There is a slight difference between a plea agreement and being "convicted". If a person admits to his crime, there is little room for them to appeal their case. However, it doesn't matter if one takes it to court or copes a plea, they will still have a "conviction" on their record.

Now, where are we? I see you are very crafty and wise. My offers stand.
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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 7808
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 10:24 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

She better get the hell away from him till this is resolved--if he's facing jail and not up to it he will be tempted to remove the complaining witness, stupid at this would be.

After all if anything happens to her he's a prime suspect.
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Robynmarie
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Post Number: 900
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 01:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Okay, Brother Carey, we're on like Donkey Kong (keep in mind the result may not be known for months)
Winner gets bragging rights?
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Carey
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Post Number: 1752
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 02:10 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Good Brown Robin, we are just about there. Now, let's up the wager. Not only do we get bragging rights but the loser has to come on the board and say how wonderful they other person is.

Something like: Why oh why did I ever question Brown Robin's genius. She has constantly displayed an insight far superior to many like her. Her keen sense of right and wrong leads the way to a very bright woman.

Of course that's just an example *lol*, but do you feel me? Something like that but looooonger.

Bet?
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Carey
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Post Number: 1753
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 06:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LiLi, although I said for you to try and get in the mindset of a man, there was a point that may be missing. Lets move away from the issue of ol'boy and his girl. I was watching a clip of a man at a wedding reception and something caught my eye. One of the men in the wedding party was involved in the celebrations and his woman didn't like what he was doing. While he was laughing and having fun with another woman, his woman (I assume was his) ran up and started beating him on the head. Everyone thought this was funny. From the man's point of view he didn't think it was funny. he had just been attacked by a woman and stood there expressing shame and embarrassment. Another case involved a woman that slapped her man because he was looking at another woman whom he had previously dated. No one called for her head or that of the woman I previously mentioned. It's not always black and white.

I did not give those examples as if saying it's okay because women "do it" too. My major concern with this issue (domestic abuse/assualt by a lover)is when others give advise to those in the storm and have no clue about the advise they are giving. They may know how they "feel" about the issue or "think" about the issue but few can support their beliefs with solid, supporting facts ...ie, jail time, counseling, catch your hat,laws, love and human behavior.
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Robynmarie
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Posted on Monday, March 09, 2009 - 08:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It's a bet!
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Crystal
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Posted on Tuesday, March 10, 2009 - 03:57 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sorry Carey but "expressing shame and embarrassment" is not the same as going to the hospital for stitches or a rib wrap. Or how about showing up at work with bruises and a black eye - now THATS embarrassment!
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Carey
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Post Number: 1754
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Posted on Tuesday, March 10, 2009 - 09:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lawd have mercy. Hello Crystal, it's nice to see you grace our little spot. Now, it would have been nice of you to drop in and say, "Hello Carey". But nooooooo, you opened with "sorry Carey" :-).

Listen, I will agree that "expressing Shame ...." is not the same as stiches and bruises. You missed the point. I was trying to address the reactions of others when the perpetrator is female ...(of ANY type of attack).

I've never tried to minimize the short and long term affects of domestic violence. What I do notice is whenever someone tries to broaden the view of the conversation, many do not want to hear it. Ultimately what happens is that many stop listening. They only listen to what they want to hear.

I still do not believe C.B. should go to jail or that he will. First, the law is not set up that way. Second, reqardless of what many "think", incarceration as a means of punishment does little to deter the offender from committing the same crime. Of course severe consequences is a vital source to "change". I personally think he is presently suffering more than what 30 days in a lockup can ever accomplish. If we are truely talking about changing mindsets, I think jail is not the way to do it. You can be mad all you want but that's an emotion and emotions usually get in the way of doing the right thing.

It's good to hear from you, Crystal.
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Crystal
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Posted on Wednesday, March 11, 2009 - 11:58 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Please excuse me! Hello Mr. Carey Sir, thank you for the welcome. [oh brother!]

Anyway, I understand you wanting to broaden the conversation and I agree that's necessary. It’s just that the tone I got from your story didn’t seem to fit the seriousness of a black eye. I haven’t followed the C.B. story enough to have a comment on what should happen but it seems like both of them need some help in working through some issues. Let's hope their entourage will let them find it.
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Carey
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Post Number: 1756
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Posted on Wednesday, March 11, 2009 - 01:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hello,

Crystal, if I could go back 7 or so years to when I first met you, I'd jump at the chance. We then would be able to do it all over again *smile*.

You said a mouth full. "They" have some issues they need to work through. I was hit with something the other day. A women in the struggle said their (Ri Ri & C.B) relationship was sick. When I heard the word "sick", I at first didn't agree. My image of sick was different than hers. She broke it down to me like I was a 9 year old. She said to be sick could be anything from a scratch on the arm to cancer. But in both cases, if they are not treated they both can lead to greater pain and possibly death. I thought for a second and said, yes, the relationship is sick.

Gosh, it's difficult for me to say I was wrong but I was. Btw, I accept your apology *lol*.

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