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Mochascafe
Veteran Poster
Username: Mochascafe
Post Number: 128
Registered: 08-2007
Rating: 
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:21 am: | 
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I know I might get ripped a new one on this board for this question, but I have been thinking about this and I am curious to find out what everyone thinks....
We know that a man beating on a woman (or vice versa) for no reason or as form of intimidation is abuse. Thats a given...
But what if I am going toe to toe with a man. What if he pissed me off or I felt like I was in danger and I decided to go toe to toe with dude... Like I had my dukes up and going blow for blow. Should he whoop my ass, can I then say that I was abused?
I am by no means saying that this is what happened with RiRi and Chris but what if that was the scenario? Rihanna had bruises and cuts, now the police are saying so did Chris on a much smaller scale though.
I am just saying, young people can be really stupid, especially young people who have money and who's egos are being fed every minute of the day as to how great they are. The fact that both of them got out of the car in the middle of the street to start fighting was beyond stupid anyways. It probably was not the first time they had an escalated fight either. Who knows, maybe Clive Davis complemented Rihanna one second more than he did Chris. Who knows. It is very unfortunate this entire situation especially two young black children BUT my question remains the same.
If two people of opposite sex are scrapping and the female so happens to come out on the loosing end, is it abuse? |
Yvettep
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 3423
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:54 am: |
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We know that a man beating on a woman (or vice versa) for no reason or as form of intimidation is abuse. That's a given...
I think, in exploring your own question, you might want to take a look at your initial premise. Why do you give prominence to the notion of "for no reason"? What would and would not count as "intimidation"?
Any time that people--regardless of their sex--are "scrapping" and it is not part of a formal boxing match, then either or both of them could be charged with criminal charges.
In the case of domestic violence specifically, rarely is the "fight" an isolated instance, such as a bar brawl between intimates that came to blows. Usually it is a result of an escalation of violent encounters. Often abusers have witnessed abuse in their own childhoods. I am not familiar with this young man, but I wouldn't be surprised if that were the case with him.
IMO the saddest thing for us observers in this case is the likelihood of a flood of the very sentiments you have expressed here from young Black women. We still have yet to overcome the notions that we women are to blame for the violence that may be inflicted upon us.
I am not trying to "rip you a new one" with these comments. Conversation about this topic is crucial. And violent and uncivil discussions will likely not move the conversation forward. I hope you will share any further thoughts you have. (And for the record, I am not one of the folks giving you one star.  ) |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1642
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 12:28 pm: |
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Hello
Chocolate Mint, how ya doin' baby.
For the record I am the one that pushed your vote off that 1 star. I understand your question, it's a valid one.
I think your question was well stated. I believe your were simply asking when is a "fight", simply that. Now of course I can hear the knees jerking and the "yeah buts", BUT I think you were trying to draw a distiction between the two.
I am sort of walking with you on this one. Let me explain. Domestic violence is a term that conjures up an image in most of us. A fight gives us a different image. Are the two the same? That's the root of your question. When is a fight domestic violence?
Let me state my position. Whenever a man puts his hands on a women, I think he has crossed the line. But again, is it domestic violence? Now, you brought up another interesting piece of the puzzle. If ol'girl is throwing down on ol'boy, what's a man to do? If he busts her upside the head, is it then domestic violence? I don't know, it could be called getting this women off of me that's trying to split my wig.
Come on Chocolate Latte, you know yawl women can show yawls ass sometimes. To some degree, I think that's why you posed the question. I am feelin' ya baby. That's why I gave you 5 stars.
I don't have a degree in interpersonal skills but I know black ain't white and pork is greasy. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 13526
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 01:05 pm: |
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Chris and Rihanna did supposedly have a very stormy relationship with her being described as insanely jealous and steeped in the no-nonsense mentality of her West Indian culture, which led her to often attack him.
Chris is an irresponsible teen-ager who reportedly witnessed his stepfather abusing his mother.
Putting these 2 in a relationship brings together the conditions for a perfect storm when it comes to violence, a situation that might even include them being enablers for the volatility they both may have thrived on. Beating up his girlfriend could even have gained Chris some street cred among his peers.
This doesn't excuse his behavior but it does point up how clueless this younger generation seems to be when it comes to never considering the consequences of their impulsive behavior.
Chris is in deep shyt and Rihanna may want to reconcile with him but could fear being criticized for doing so. Obviously some kind of anger management is in order here. |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 723
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 7 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 07:39 pm: |
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I'm a mother of 4 boys, and a firm believer in "if someone hits you, hit them back". I do not believe in turning the other cheek or being the bigger person and walking away. In a verbal confrontation, yes; but once it becomes physical, if I go down, you best believe I'm going down swinging. Man, woman, child, senior citizen, dog, cat, goldfish - you can say what you wanna say but if you hit me - it's on! I don't care if you're 9 or 99, if you hit me - it's on! And that's what I taught my boys. I taught them to never throw the first punch, but if someone - anyone - hits you, tear that ass out the frame.
I didn't teach my boys that "boys aren't supposed to hit girls" bullshit. I taught my boys that they have no right to put their hands on ANYONE, and NO ONE has a right to put their hands on them. I taught them if anyone lays a finger on you, you have a right under the constitution of the United States of America to defend yourself and to use deadly force if you deem it necessary to save your own life and limb. So if a girl/woman puts her hands on you - lay that b/itch out cold! In my view, if she's woman enough to hit a man, then she's woman enough to be hit by a man.
This stems from me having a younger brother. Our parents drilled that bullshit in his head about boys not hitting girls. Once upon a time, my baby brother had a string of volatile relationships. It seemed like every chick he hooked up with was psycho and wanted to fight him. And he allowed these women to slap, punch, bite, scratch, and kick him, (until he could break free), and he never defended himself against these nutjobs - because he was raised that boys don't hit girls.
Now my brother ain't no punk. He'd fight another man - with a quickness - but he wouldn't raise his hands to a woman. Then he'd call me or show up at my place scratched and bruised all up, bleeding and shit. So what's a big sister to do? I'd go knock on honeydip's door, ain't no conversation; soon as she opens the door WHAM! lay her ass out right in the threshold. Straight outta Brooklyn!
And that's why I taught my boys: Never throw the first punch, but if someone, ANYONE, puts their hands on you - you got a right under the constitution to crack their muhphukkin skull.
One thing I learned during that 4, 5 year time-span when my brother was involved with psycho after psycho, was that far too many woman play on that "boys aren't supposed to hit girls" nonsense, while simultaneously saying and doing shit that would provoke a man to hit them. They know they've got society and tradition on their side - no matter what they say or do - boys aren't supposed to hit girls. Yeah, right... |
Yvettep
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 3425
Registered: 01-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 09:26 pm: |
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Unfortunately for most girls and women who are the victims of domestic violence "society and tradition" are not on their sides. Particularly in many communities of color many of us have the idea that if a man has hit a woman, she must have done something to deserve it.
Homicide is the second leading cause of death for Black women 15-24, and in the top 10 leading causes of death for Black women 25 to 44. Many of these deaths are at the hands of people these women knew--often men who were current or former partners. |
Mochascafe
Veteran Poster
Username: Mochascafe
Post Number: 129
Registered: 08-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 10:17 pm: |
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Urban Scribe I am literally getting back on my chair from the floor laughing so hard.
I have brothers and I have seen them deal with some crazy stuff. Just this Christmas one brother's "significant other" broke through his house window, took his house phone and redialed every number on his phone, she apparently called him a few times and he didnt pick up the phone so she decided to go to his house looking for him. She proceeded to tell everyone who would answer that my brother gave her and STD. My uncle got one of the calls as my brother was at his house having dinner. After racing home, 4 hours and 2 police cars and a couple of punches (from her) later he finally got her to leave his house for good. How many brothers do you know that would simply walk away from that physical violence and humiliation?
This is precisely the reason why I asked this question. Lord knows I can be a hot head sometimes. My better half will just look at me and say "Baby, why dont you just knock me out, you know thats what you want to do, just beat me and get it over with" I normally bust out laughing by then but Ill tell you what, as mad as I may get I would never put my hands on him. Why because HE IS BIGGER THAN ME and in a moment of weakness or just plain reaction to my blow, all he would have to do is give me one good punch and I would be out cold. Would he do it just to do it? No, he is the most gentle patient person I know but why on earth would I want to test that?
I dont know, sometimes, Carey you are right, we women know what to say and do to really get to the core of a brother...where it hurts... but putting my hands on a brother, I may just be writing a check that my behind cant afford to cash....
I think walking away goes both ways, if you see someone escalating whether they have touched you yet or not, its best just to walk away. The fall out just isnt worth it because no one comes away blameless.
I wish one of them would have just walked away...
Carey, I dont know what the stars mean. I dont think I want to know either, it would give me just one more thing to be manic about and obsess over |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 724
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 10:47 pm: |
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I hear where you're coming from, Yvette. But I'm not talking about domestic violence, I'm talking about a fight. Men and women fight - and it isn't always domestic violence-related. And I feel when a man and woman fight, if she hits him then he should be allowed to defend himself without worrying that if he defends himself against a woman - WHO HAS ATTACKED HIM - he'll be stigmatized as a "woman beater".
Domestic violence is a whole different can of worms. In most instances, the male partner has deep-rooted issues and he takes his frustrations out on his female significant other; usually because she's the only aspect of his life that he can control - or thinks he can control - and he uses physical force to exercise his control over her.
I don't think anyone, not even I, would argue that domestic violence is a plague on any society. But if I'm being completely honest, I, personally, don't have any sympathy for women who stay in such relationships. Not in this day and age. Maybe 60 years ago, when all women were expected to do was cook, clean, raise children, and be submissive to their husbands; and maybe today in certain countries where women aren't worth the ground they walk on, I can understand under those circumstances that those women may feel ashamed and don't see a way out. But in 2009 - in America - no siree, I have NO sympathy for women who stay in such relationships in 21st century America.
I recall watching an interview several years ago with the widow of one of the brothers who founded the Gucci empire; Aldo Gucci, I believe. IIRC, he died of a heart attack and his autopsy revealed that he was loaded with narcotics at the time of his death, and that he wasn't a recreational drug user, but a hardcore addict. So now his widow, I THINK her name was Patricia, Patricia Gucci, comes forth and she's spilling her guts in this interview; talking about all the drugs he used, all the times he cheated on her, the wild sex parties, and, AND all the times he beat her. So the interviewer asked her: If it was as bad as you say it was, why did you stay? And homegirl looked the interviewer dead in the eye and said: Because it is better to cry in a Rolls Royce than it is to laugh on a bicycle.
Now I know, and you know, that a lot of women who stay in abusive relationships CHOOSE to stay - not because they're afraid to leave, not because their spirit's broken, not because they're ashamed, not because their culture dictates that they must stay and tolerate anything and everything their husbands do to them, and not because they grew up watching their father beat on their mother - but because they don't want to give up the material comfort that their husbands provide. And I'm not talking just about mansion and villa and fur and black-tie soiree comfort, I'm talking about wives of sanitation workers, bus drivers, plumbers, and other blue collar fields. These women have husbands and live-in boyfriends with decent-paying jobs, which provide a certain level of material comfort that these women don't want to do without. And so, these women would rather take an occasional ass-kicking than to lose those extra $3,000-$5,000 a month. And that's a major part of the equation that people like to overlook and brush aside when they discuss domestic violence. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1643
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 10:48 pm: |
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Hello
It's obvious lines are drawn in this discussion. I have my beliefs and opinions and have stated them. Therefore I am compelled to address some of the arguements made by others. In doing so I am not taking a side or do not agree with other areas of the posts.
Whenever I see someone post a statistic a flag goes up. I tend to look a little deeper into what that statistic are not saying.
If a top 10 cause of death for black women 25 to 44 is Homocide, what are the other leading causes and what follows them? Statistic are very misleading and tends to only champion the cause of the position they represent ...if your eyes are closed.
A little side note: If I were in a debate I wouldn't say the following but, you have to die from something, what's below 10 and what's above it.
I also look for absolutes in statements that, again, champion a particular side of an issue. If I am smart I'd stay away from "always" "everyone" "all the time" and all other words that can instantly be disproven but if I nevertheless wanted to keep a little punch in my statement I'd use "many" "frequently" and maybe try to sneak in a "most".
Am just sayin' ... "I" didn't have the "idea that if a man has hit a woman, she must have done something to deserve it".
Another point:
If a man constantly hooks up with crazy nut case women, I don't think the problem is the "crazy women". |
Yvettep
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 3426
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:03 pm: |
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Carey, the statistics I cited are from the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). They are population-based (so include everyone, not just a sampling), and not the result of any particular point of view. I cannot remember off hand the other causes of death, but I believe for the youngest age groups I cited, accidents and injuries are the first leading cause. Other causes are what you'd expect, having to do with diseases.
I am not sure I am following you about having to die from something. Does that mean we shouldn't be concerned when large numbers of our women are dying at the hands of their partners? I also must not have accurately interpreted your point about women "showing their asses." Regardless of what that may or may not have meant, others can be very quick to dismiss abuse because of perceptions of women being responsible for it. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1644
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:05 pm: |
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Urban_scribe
Since you said it ... "I have NO sympathy for women who stay in such relationships in 21st century America" and said why, I would suggest that you look a little deeper into the lives of those who are the victims of domestic abuse. I believe you have the ability to be compassionate and sympathetic so therefore I have to believe your lack of sympathy in this issue is rooted in ignorance. Well, at least your stated reasons were, they lacked knowledge. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1645
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:19 pm: |
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Yvettep, I am glad you responded. I never believed that the statistics were not valid, that wasn't the point. I questioned what they were really saying. I was curious to see what numbers 1 through 9 were. You gave us a couple. Again, I was not taking I side, I just wanted to clear the smoke.
I don't think you really wanted an answer to the following question.
"I am not sure I am following you(Carey) about having to die from something. Does that mean we shouldn't be concerned when large numbers of our women are dying at the hands of their partners?"
Like I said in my post, I knew that would open myself up. All I was saying was death occurs and statistics muddle the issue. Of course we should be concerned about the deaths of those being killed by the hands of another. |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 725
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2009 - 11:44 pm: |
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Carey, enlighten me. Since you seem to be well-versed in the REAL reasons women in 21st century America stay in abusive relationships, please reveal why I should have sympathy for these women.
As for my brother constantly hooking up with psychos, well, he's a soft-touch. He falls for women with 4 and 5 children with 4 and 5 different "baby daddies" - none of whom are around, struggling to make it one day at a time. For some reason, and I don't understand it, but for some reason, he believes if these woman just had the right man by their side, the sky would be the limit. Over the years, I've made several attempts to hook my brother up with some of MY girlfriends; professional, established, drama-free women. They all have told me what a great guy my brother is: he's so considerate, he's such a gentleman, wonderful conversationist, yadda, yadda, yadda... But after a few dates, they part ways. I think my brother needs needy women. |
Ferociouskitty
Veteran Poster
Username: Ferociouskitty
Post Number: 611
Registered: 02-2008
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 12:06 am: |
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Urban_scribe: No disrespect intended, but what you describe is popularly known as the Captain-Save-a-Ho Syndrome.
I have a friend who is afflicted, and he knows it. For him, it stems from seeing his father abuse his mother, feeling helpless (and yet responsible) as a child to stop it, and having his mother continue to want him to bail her out of sh*t, now that he's an adult. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1646
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 12:23 am: |
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Hi Urban_scribe
I am glad you took my post in stride.
Your brother is like many others that think they can make a change, he is not alone. Thanks for sharing his story with us.
I too felt like you on the issues surrounding why individuals remain in abusive relationships. But fortunately or unfortunately, however you like to look at it, I have a cousin that's deep into the issue. She was involved an abusive relationship and others shared opinions like you and I. She didn't fit the stereotypical abused wife and sought out others like her. What she discovered was that although they all suffered similar pain, their stories where distinctly different. Moreso, their reasons for staying in the relationship were even more diverse.
She grew tired of people pointing a finger and calling her stupid for staying in the relationship. Although the various reasons for staying and taking abuse has proven to be (in the eyes of many) invalid or unreasonable, they nevertheless were deep and valid concerns.
She is now a soldier of the struggle, doing workshops and plays on the subject. It's her profession.
I can not do justice via this post to the reasons and motives of Domestic Abuse; the victim or the abuser. I can say it's deep and I too was ignorant. I've since softened may view and consequently have become less prone to voice an opinion based on my own values or point of reference. Like most problems, the solutions to those problem can be very difficult to find because the deep issues of such is frequently not well defined. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 13527
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 01:54 am: |
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We cannot overlook one of the reasons the "never-hit-a-woman" caveat exists, this being that in a physical confrontation an unarmed man has an unfair advantage over an unarmed woman because he is typically bigger and stronger than she is.
And there is a difference between fending off a woman, and beating her up. |
Mochascafe
Veteran Poster
Username: Mochascafe
Post Number: 130
Registered: 08-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 07:37 am: |
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Urban Scribe, what you addressed is my point exactly. I am certainly not making excuses for a domestic violence I realize that many women and men for that matter are victims of this awful type of abuse, why some women choose to stay is another topic in itself.
This type of discussion is exactly what I was hoping for. I just think that the lines can be blurred a little especially when there are two sides to a story. Again, not advocating for the abuser but what constitutes domestic violence or what makes that different from a fight that gets out of control. Is there some kind of litmus test that says "was there provocation, who hit first etc"
There are just so many grey areas with this it will be interesting to see how it pans out. Bottom line putting your hands on someone is unacceptable period, if you do you have to accept the consequences. Whether you are the instigator, the perpetrator or the, or the victim that chooses to stay over and over again. I dare say even the victim of a one time assault has the consequence of humiliation to face.
For the record, I dont think that if a woman is assaulted she "must have done something". I just wanted to explore the fact that sometimes women really know where to hit where it hurts, whether verbally, or a slap in the face, or a even a shove to "get outta my way" when we dont want to hear anymore. I am just asking if a man were to retaliate (to the latter of the two) is that abuse or assault. And should the retaliation cause the woman to fight back and lead to a full on fight blow for blow, is that abuse or an assault? And should she or he get a beat down in the process, is that abuse and/or assault? Does it then come down to the person who sustained the most injuries is the victim? And further more, how do you prove that if there are really no witnesses? |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1647
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 09:43 am: |
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Again Chocolate Latte, you did well. You wrote the following and it brings the issue closer into view.
"For the record, I dont think that if a woman is assaulted she "must have done something". I just wanted to explore the fact that sometimes women really know where to hit where it hurts, whether verbally, or a slap in the face, or a even a shove to "get outta my way" when we dont want to hear anymore"
The part of your statement that said, "even a shove to get outta my way", jumped off the page. For some, that's provocation for a fight.
Cynique wrote something very interesting as well.
She wrote: "We cannot overlook one of the reasons the "never-hit-a-woman" caveat exists, this being that in a physical confrontation an unarmed man has an unfair advantage over an unarmed woman because he is typically bigger and stronger than she is.
And there is a difference between fending off a woman, and beating her up."
There have been many court cases involving the use of too much force to "stop" an attack.
Cynique post is exactly why I've held to the belief that a man should never hit a women. I was watching The Wiz the other day and Micheal Jackson, as the scarecrow, said it best. He said, "you can't win child". Of course a weak arguement could be one that says there are big women that can whip some men and that's true. But on the whole it's a mismatch.
We've discussed many areas of violence but are we moving away from the issue. What is domestic violence? Is it a shove? Are all fights or attacks on a women, domestic violence? Can verbal abuse be domestic violence? Most would say no. I think I know the answer to that one but I am not sure.
Can we do this? Is anyone secure enough to talk about a situation in which they've been struck by a man. I would bet my last dollar that most women that visit this board has in some time in their lives been involved in a dispute with a mate. Lets bring this to the damn floor. Lets hear some real case situations and let the postees speak for themselves. Who's brave enough?!
I'll start. I've grabbed a women very hard and shooked-ed-ed-did the shit out of her. She thought I'd gone crazy and she left me alone. I could have left bruises. I wonder if that would be considered domestic violence. If I had been arrested I think that would have been the charge. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 7748
Registered: 03-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 10:25 am: |
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If two people of opposite sex are scrapping and the female so happens to come out on the loosing end, is it abuse?
(I am old school. I feel there is no excuse for hitting a woman. I feel like if she gets in your face, you should walk away.
Very often a guy tags a gal because they have been arguing. A man cannot beat a woman in an arguement. You have to cut it off and walk away.
That said, if I am trying to get out of her face and she just has to get a piece of me I am going to lay something on her.
There are words you can say to anybody that will make them fight you. Fighting words. There is a line which nobody can cross.
Women, beware.
am not trying to "rip you a new one" with these comments. Conversation about this topic is crucial. And violent and uncivil discussions will likely not move the conversation forward.
(This is absolutely silly. How is a conversation by a bunch of computer nerds who in all likelihood would not bust a grape, going to influence society at large not to be violent.
This is a personal problem that you are trying to change with a systemic response.
Since the 70's we have had all this info about violence against women and its as high as it has ever been.
I used to work with a domestic violence unit. Take em out. MOve em. File court cases.
Half the women was back with the guy before 48 hours was up.
There was even a domestic violence counselor trying to counsel other women and her dope addict husband was beating on her ass like a drum.
People are violent. You have to teach a dog to attack people. You have to teach a human NOT to.
Stack that up to a bad economy, wars, fears of terrorism and drugs, and all your little Sunday School sermons mean nothing.
You think its bad now? You just wait. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 7749
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 10:27 am: |
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We cannot overlook one of the reasons the "never-hit-a-woman" caveat exists, this being that in a physical confrontation an unarmed man has an unfair advantage over an unarmed woman because he is typically bigger and stronger than she is.
(True. So why the hell should a woman get up in a guy's face? Why is it WE are supposed to have all the self control and YOU can act like total savages?
I have been thinking and I have never hit a woman.
But when I was done running their ass down, they wished I had.
No excuse for that either. Chrishayden was weak.
So be advised) |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1649
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 10:50 am: |
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Chris, you done steped in here with your pants down!
Much of what you posted has NO validity.
FIRST ...but NOT last, you wrote: "People are violent. You have to teach a dog to attack people. You have to teach a human NOT to."
Chris, that statement is NOT true ...on several levels. Now, that was a silly statement.
SECOND: What's this about. "This is absolutely silly. How is a conversation by a bunch of computer nerds who in all likelihood would not bust a grape, going to influence society at large not to be violent."
Again Chris, that statement is so jacked it doesn't deserve a response. The 2 postees were merely trying to set a tone. I don't think they were trying to influence society at large not to be violent. I believe any struggle starts within and maybe ...just maybe an individual can learn something that benifits them by having discussion like this.
If we accept your post as a fact we should never have a discussion on any topic that you think has no solutions. I am sorry man, you blew this one. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1650
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 11:39 am: |
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A side note.
I like to listen to some rap music.
Tupac wrote: The blacker the berry the sweeter the juice, I say the darker the flesh the deeper the root. i Know they like to beat you up alot, when you come around the block brothas clown alot. but please don't cry, dry your eyes never let up, forgive but don't forget girl, keep your head up. And when he tells you ain't nothin' don't believe 'em, and if he can't learn to love you, you should leave him. Cause sista you don't need 'em. I ain't tryin' to gash ya up, I just wanna holla see, you know what makes me unass that, when brothas make babies and leave a young mother to be a patch. And since we all came from a women, got are name from a women, and our game from a women, I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women. I think it's time we kill for our women, time to heal our women, be real to our women. And if we don't, we'll have a race a babies that will hate the ladies, that can make the babies, And since a man can't make one, he has no right to tell a women when and where to create one. So will the real man get up, I know you're feed up ladies, but keep your head up .....oooouuuu child things are gonna get easier, oooouuuu child thangs are gonna get brighter. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 7750
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 11:46 am: |
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Chris, that statement is NOT true ...on several levels. Now, that was a silly statement.
(If it ain't true let me come up in your jazz club and talk about your mama for a few hours and see what happens)
Again Chris, that statement is so jacked it doesn't deserve a response
(So why did you respond? Was it because I pulled the covers off you? I showed the beast behind the mask of the man?
I bet you want to KILL me right now, don't you?
Come on. Let it out. You'll feel better. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 7751
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 11:48 am: |
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Tupac wrote
(Didn't he gang rape a woman?
You are out of it, man.
Killers. People are killers. How else you think Humanity came to dominate the planet. Humanity has killed every other species that could challenge it.
Now we are working on each other.
And so it goes
When I throw a rock in a pack of dogs the only one hollers is the one who got hit. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1652
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 12:04 pm: |
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Chris, if this is where I come back and say, you are ......
I ain't biting. I am an open book. If there's something specific you'd like to ask, I have NO problem answering it.
I will answer these ... "Was it because I pulled the covers off you? I showed the beast behind the mask of the man? I bet you want to KILL me right now, don't you?"
The answer to all of those questions is no.
Again, maybe that would be your natural response to your questions but NOPE ...doesn't fit me. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 10271
Registered: 04-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 12:55 pm: |
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I can't in good conscience comment on what went down between Chris Brown and Rihanna. Because I don't know jacksheht about what happened between them that night and/or what preceded such (Although, I do not recall ever hearing or reading about trouble between them.).
But I will say I find it interesting how the argument is often made that men should not strike women because men are presumeably so much bigger and stronger YET no such special consideration is given to smaller men who (are dumb or unfortunate enuff to) get caught up in a scrap with with much bigger and stronger men.
I mean, if Chris Brown administered a similar degree of beatdown to, say, lil Bow Wow that he ALLEGEDLY did to Rihanna, MOST foks would just wonder WHY Brown kicked Bow Wow's tail in. |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 4946
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 05:41 pm: |
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...speaking of cowards
and men getting their asses kicked, ABM.
 |
Kola_boof
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 4947
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 05:57 pm: |
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Yvette, I agree with your posts 100% |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 726
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2009 - 06:53 pm: |
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...what you describe is popularly known as the Captain-Save-a-Ho Syndrome.
I've never heard of that syndrome, but it fits. Lord knows it fits. Now all he needs is a cape. |
Carey
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Carey
Post Number: 1653
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 12, 2009 - 09:20 am: |
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Well Urban_scribe, since we are putting you up on a little game, there's another popular name for men that act like that. It's called Trick. Yep, it's not always about the women.
Bill Withers said it. You know the song. "Use me to do the thangs I do, because ...... |
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