| Author | Message | ||
     Cagedbird Regular Poster Username: Cagedbird Post Number: 15 Registered: 02-2004 Rating: N/A |
congrats on your daily poem, carey How to Tell if You're a Grinch You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points) You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out) You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points) You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy). If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points. You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction). You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth. At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party) You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car) After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year). Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points) Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100. 20-30: You are just a cheeseball. 30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets. 50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived. | ||
| Rondall Moderator Username: Rondall Post Number: 170 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Cute...I scored 50. So close yet so far away. | ||
| Cagedbird Regular Poster Username: Cagedbird Post Number: 16 Registered: 02-2004 Rating: N/A |
thanks Rondall. I didn't even take the test cause I know I am an ANGEL & not a grinch!  I'll post sumpthin else 4 ya! Enjoy. Another Fruitcake Recipe 1. Go to the crafts store. 2. Purchase one or more bags of dried fruit, some plaster of paris, brown paint and a disposable cake pan. 3. Return home. 4. Unwrap the dried fruit, carefully folding the wrapper inside- out and placing it at the bottom of your trash can. Better yet, send it through your personal paper shredder and use it for insulation in the attic. 5. Mix the plaster of paris with water and pour into the disposable cake pan. Place dried fruit on top, gently pushing in so it looks "baked" in the "batter." Let dry. 6. Take your "fruitcake" out of the disposable cake pan. 7. Cover the top, bottom and sides with brown paint, avoiding the fruit. 8. Wrap your "fruitcake" in festive, colored saran wrap and finish with a bow. I like using red wrap because it gives a warm glow to the "fruitcake." 9. Give your "fruitcake" to someone you want to impress. When they lift it, they'll say, "Wow! You must have made a really rich fruitcake!" Don't forget to smile and say, "Oh, its Paris-style fruitcake." 10. Don't worry about someone trying to eat your fruitcake. Nobody actually eats fruitcake... that's just a rumor. Just so you know, the dried fruit won't go "bad" because it has the same preservatives as Twinkies, which have a shelf-life of about 237 years. Special note: Make sure to sign your initials on the bottom of your masterpiece-- just in case someone tries to give YOU a "Paris-style fruitcake" next year... Author, Columnist & Poet:Evelyn (Eve) Hall Visit my website at: http://www.evehall.com/ | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13154 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I must be one of the few people around who actually likes fruit cakes. My mother used to make them from scratch around Thanksgiving. Then she'd wrap them in cloths saturated with rum and wouldn't break them out until Christmas. Scumptuous! | ||
| Cagedbird Regular Poster Username: Cagedbird Post Number: 22 Registered: 02-2004 Rating: N/A |
Man, I know now not 2 throw them away, sorry  | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13159 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Some people have even referred to me as a "fruitcake".  | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 13165 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Of course these people don't know what they're talking about. I'm not a fruit cake, I'm a sweetie pie.  |
