| Author | Message | ||
     Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 736 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Sese, you have inspired me. I wrote a poem especially for you. Can I share it? Are you there, are you ready?  . | ||
| Rondall Moderator Username: Rondall Post Number: 114 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
I hope so...my eyes are crossed. And I don't do well with anxiety. | ||
| Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 754 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Rondall, you are so kind. I don't know man. Sese hasn't hit back and Sisgal kind of put a crimp in my game. Her flow is so smooth that I don't belong on the same street with her. If I want to stay on this corner I need to jackup my slacks a little. You know, work a little on my metaphorical flow instead of relying so much on ryhme. Care to give a brotha a little comeup...any advice? I got this thang ready to go for Sese but through her silence I hear. But check this out. Although Sisgal inspired some of the poems I've written, I showed them to another friend of mine (Sunday post ;). and she assumed they were written for her and man.. the women cried...yeah, blew me away, what's up with that? Dang...and I thought telling a women that her booty was nice and fat was the lick *smile*.....You know the old "what kind of purfume are you wear?" and "OOuuu that does something to me" kind of rap. *lol* Seriously man, any advice would be appreciated. If I keep up this mess I'll have to pullout my Gigolo shoes. I've heard it said that you can't teach an old dog new tricks.....I ain't trying to hear that...come on, give a brotha a comeup. Carey | ||
| Rondall Moderator Username: Rondall Post Number: 115 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: N/A |
Old secret well kept: a man falls in love with his eyes, a woman falls in love with her ears. Poetry in all of its subtleties strikes an emotional cord in women especially. Your poems do not have to be refine or high post in their flow. If you are swinging verses from your heart then someone out there is liable to get hit by them. Too many force rhymes into there poetry rather forcing poetry into the rhymes. The metre of poems goes way beyond the correspondence of similar sounds, but most of us find this more appeasing. Practice writing in a narative structure principally using metaphors and similes. Stay away from over used idioms and cliche phrasing. And Carey, you can always teach an old dog new tricks...it just takes a lot of practice to break old habits. P.S.> Read poetry! Lots of it. Find some good translations of Fredrico Lorca and Octavio Paz. It will blow you away!! If you can read Spanish, their poems are incredibly rhythmatic and exact in metre. But more important than that, look at what the poems are saying in translation. I have never read anything more beautiful. | ||
| Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey Post Number: 758 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
My man! Sounds good, all your advise is well taken. I like that...force poetry into the rhyme and "it's going to hit somebody"...if it's from the heart! Now put a cap on it *lol* can't be giving out to many more secrets. Game is made to be sold and not told...OH NO!... another over used cliche. Anyway, now the women might start acting like the three monkeys. You know, "hear no evil".... |
