    
Chrishayden
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Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 7074
Registered: 03-2004
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, June 27, 2008 - 04:17 pm: | 
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The night I waited with a gun in my hand
By Sylvester Brown Jr.
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
06/26/2008
Sylvester Brown Jr.
[More columns]
[Sylvester's Biography]
Usually, when writing about senseless black-on-black violence, I avoid knee-jerk reactions and try to explore the organic roots of these acts.
Not after they killed the "Rose Man."
Early Monday, a passing car fired gunshots into a lounge in Washington Park, taking the life of Lee "The Rose Man" Nixon.
Club crawlers knew the Rose Man well. I remember when, after mixing and mingling at clubs, I would see Nixon at night's end, roses and Teddy bears in hand.
The day before Nixon was killed, Terrance Mims, 19, was shot to death in St. Louis. He was killed, police say, over a gold chain. Two days prior, Demond Taylor, 34, a security officer, was shot while driving along Page Boulevard at Academy Avenue. Family members have said police believe the murder was a case of mistaken identity.
I had little desire initially to "understand" these murders. Although no one has been charged in the deaths of Nixon and Taylor, these kinds of cases too often boil down to black criminals and black victims.
I didn't feel like dissecting the reasons why young fools continue to callously claim lives. The emotional, punitive response made sense: "Hunt them down! Lock them up! Throw away the key!"
A part of me recoils even as I write this. Who exactly are "they" and "them?" Am I talking about blacks who commit crimes or those with the potential to commit crimes?
The questions had me re-visiting a time when I placed little value on black life, when I had the potential to murder.
It was in the early 1980s. I was in my 20s, sitting in a truck with a loaded .38 revolver in my hand. I was an employee with the gas company. A supervisor had sent a black co-worker and I out to disconnect a non-paying customer's gas. When we arrived, a young man came out of the house with a gun, threatening to shoot. We left quickly. But our boss sent us back, with orders to "call the police" if the guy showed up again.
Forget that! My co-worker got his gun. We had a plan. He would shut off the gas at the street, I would stand guard. If the man with the gun re-appeared, I knew what to do.
It was the "kill or be killed" code of the street. Although religion was heavy in my young life, the violence that often accompanies poverty was an even greater influence. Neighborhood talk about drug-related deaths, police tape blocking doors and dried blood on sidewalks has a way of influencing young minds. Black life seemed dangerous and expendable.
To this day, I thank God the customer didn't show up. I foolishly believed the company and police would back us up. After all, we were defending our lives and the company's product. Surely, I thought, these factors would trump the life of a gun-wielding black man. I am still ashamed of myself.
There were other times in my young life when violence seemed an automatic response. Today, things have gotten worse in poor black communities. I wonder how much death is related to self-loathing and the "kill or be killed" code?
It wasn't until after I enrolled in college and started my own business that my perspective changed. Education brought enlightenment. Self-employment gave me dignity and self-worth.
Could the answer to senseless crimes be that simple?
Absolutely not, said Minister Donald Muhammad, the local Nation of Islam representative.
"There are no quick fixes. The black community is in its darkest hour in this society," he said.
However, Muhammad insists, things can be turned around. The first step, he said, is the recreation of viable institutions.
Muhammad is among the local religious leaders who joined the Rev. Freddy James Clark in "A Call to Oneness," an anti-violence campaign. Earlier this month, thousands of people marched through north St. Louis streets, calling for an end to violence.
Although the march was a success, the group's agenda, Muhammad said, is much more comprehensive. The fact that "progressive ministers" — those pushing for self-help solutions — instigated the movement motivated him to join the effort.
"Every movement that benefited blacks came out of religion," Muhammad said. "From that perspective, religious leaders will have to create new institutions. The first is educational, which leads to the second — strong economic institutions."
The ministers, for example, have talked about creating schools for African-American students, much like there are Catholic or Jewish schools now.
It will take time, Muhammad said. The end to senseless black-on-black violence will come out of a "renaissance of community awakening." The long-term goal, Muhammad said, is to foster a generation of young blacks "not looking for jobs but prepared to create jobs."
The anger I initially felt after Nixon's killing has subsided. Muhammad and other religious leaders got me past raw emotions and back to grappling with the roots of crime.
Education and self-reliance changed my life. A concerted, black-led movement can change others raised in negative environments.
It's possible. In time. |
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