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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5644
Registered: 03-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 01:10 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The Eroticanoir.com Anthology Chocolate Flava 2 is coming out early next year. Be sure to order your copy as soon as can be.

Now why would Chris Hayden be steppin' to you with this 411?

Because, his short story "The Hardboiled Dick" made the cut.

Lusty erotica noir! Don't miss it!
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Cynique
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Username: Cynique

Post Number: 10538
Registered: 01-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 01:33 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LMAO. Do we need to read the story after hearing the title? Tell me it's not about a severed weenie being tossed into a simmering pot of water. And I'd ve thought a good christian boy like you would be out of your element in the erotic genere. Whatever. Congrats!
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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5646
Registered: 03-2004

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Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 01:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LMAO. Do we need to read the story after hearing the title? Tell me it's not about a severed weenie being tossed into a simmering pot of water

(I hate authors who try to be cute--but on this one I was trying to be cute.

Some years ago I was burrowing through a pile of books on the for sale table at a department store downtown when I saw one with the title,

"Hardboiled Dicks"

How the hell did they get away with that, I thought. I picked it up--and it was about detectives (detectives were called "dicks" sometimes in the pulps and a hardboiled one was real tough--The Continental Op, Sam Spade, Mike Hammer, etc)

Fast forward to today and I am writing a story for the anthology. The story involves a woman whose husband is cheating who goes to a female private detective to get the goods on him.

"The Hardboiled Dick"--with it's connations, was too juicy to resist.

Now, since Mama Zane said I could, I'm gonna give ya a taste

(This is from the manuscript and may appear with substantial editing

The Hardboiled Dick
By
Chris Hayden

Sam was cheatin’!
No ‘bout a doubt it! He was creeping home at funny hours, getting up to leave in the middle of the night, coppin' tudes about nothin’, slinking around the house when he was home looking like a mangy old mutt been caught in the garbage and generally slippin’ so bad he was even forgetting to scrub the smell of his outside bitches off him before he came to bed!


How could he? LaTisha had always been the good and faithful wife! She resolved to put it to him righteous--but she needed proof!

A coworker suggested she retain the services of a private investigator.

Sharpetta Kensington, P.I. had a posh office in an upscale part of town, but when LaTisha saw her --playin' a "Hell up in Harlem" black fedora (broke down gangsta style), butchy black pinstripe pants suit, cum me pumps with stiletto heels--sitting with her feet up on her desk reading a racing form and smoking a cigarillo like a young Samantha Spade, she started to kick her to the curb.

During the interview, though, Sharpetta tossed off an impressive list of credentials earned, cases solved and clients served.

"Make no mistake about it, I'm an ace dick," she said.

"Excuse me?" LaTisha said.

"That's slang for expert detective," Sharpetta explained. "I’m worth every dime, I ga-ron-tee,"

Still harboring some misgivings LaTisha cut her a check for $5,000.

Early one afternoon a couple of weeks later the "ace dick" summoned Latisha to her office.

"Mrs. Jenkins, yo' man is a dirty bird,” Sharpetta announced.

"Wait till he gets at home tonight! I'll--" LaTisha shouted.

"Chill. You need to catch him in the act, “Sharpetta said.

"When, where and how?" LaTisha asked.

"In about forty five minutes," Sharpetta said. "I have the address of the pad where Sam is hosting a live sex party this very afternoon. We can roll right on over there and bust him."

"I hope there's no rough stuff," LaTisha said.
Sharpetta showed her a nine mm pistol and a taser. "He won't harm a hair on your head." She chuckled wickedly

"I’m not worried about my head," LaTisha said.

"I heerd dat!" Sharpetta said. "We'll take my car."

Copyright Chris Hayden 2007





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Yvettep
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Username: Yvettep

Post Number: 2414
Registered: 01-2005

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Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 01:52 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

CONGRATS, Chris! Not only are you "warm and fuzzy" but also, er...never mind! Great story about you coming up with the title.
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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5647
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Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 02:34 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I was in Chocolate Flava #1, too, but I was a weenie and used a nom de plume--Victor DeVarnado (Varnado is the name of the Vampyre hero of my African American Vampyre Romance, "Vampyre Blues: The Passion of Varnado".

The name of that one was, "Selena the Sexual Healer"
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Troy
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Username: Troy

Post Number: 897
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Posted on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 - 07:33 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Man Chris I wish I new that. Don't worry about sales. Sales for this title will be off the chain!

Congrats on being included.

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Emanuel
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Username: Emanuel

Post Number: 389
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Posted on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 08:46 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Congrats Chris!
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A_womon
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Post Number: 2016
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Posted on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 08:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yes, congratulations! Chris.
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Emanuel
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Posted on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 08:50 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Wow! Masturbating cows? Where I come from, we call that beef stroganoff.
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Libralind2
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Username: Libralind2

Post Number: 957
Registered: 09-2004

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Posted on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 09:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

The thought of the 3yr old person called Chris writing erotica, scares me to no end..I'll pass
LiLi
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Urban_scribe
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Post Number: 562
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Posted on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 09:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Congrats, Chris!
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Cynique
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Username: Cynique

Post Number: 10589
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Posted on Friday, November 02, 2007 - 09:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

LOL.Well, Emanuel, maybe we can look forward to reading this Zane book of erotica in 2008. With a contribution from a writer with the mentality of a 3 year old, it should be veeeeery interesting.
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Chrishayden
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Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5671
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Posted on Saturday, November 03, 2007 - 10:22 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Verrry verrry interesting--

But be careful getting into my head and mind

You might be changed forever by what you find
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Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden

Post Number: 5674
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Posted on Saturday, November 03, 2007 - 10:54 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Dass right. Looka me. Looka de bad guy

(I'm doing a Tony Montana imitation. You'll have to imagine the accent)

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