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Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 557 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Sunday, October 21, 2007 - 05:06 pm: |
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First of all I'd like to apologize to sese for a remark I made in one of my last posts, we've talked about it and I learned a little something from that conversation. She said one has to be careful what they say on the board because others can and will interpret it differently. Sooooooo......*smile* Hey, I used to do this Sunday morning thang talking about a lot of nothing and since I've come back I see new faces so I thought I give the newbies a little feel of Carey. You know a little get to know each other thang. I don't know....if you are anything like me, when I see A long post I generally blow it off and never read the whole thang....that's just me.....so if you want to click out now go right ahead BUT don't be crying when someone calls or e-mails you about something Carey said about you on the board. Oh yeah, I think most of your names will hit the post in some fashion......Chris, A-Womon, Crystal, Shiny New Penny, Lambd-bo, Cyn-Cyn, HMO..ahh..I mean JMHO?....even Yukio...were is..ahhh he? You Know I have to mention Sisgal...anyway, I think I might get a little daring so if you are a real tight butt go move around, I don't want to hear it. I think I might do away with commas and things because I don't really know where they belong ...I just throw them in there when I feel like it...... Let me start with those people that think that they are just too ..ahhh..together. They have this job that makes them feel like they have arrived or they live in "that" one neighborhood....if this is you then maybe you might be a tight-ass....I wonder if people like that even break wind? I know they do but you can always tell the one that don't feel comfortable doing it because they look like they are going to bust. See, they have this little office ...or it's probably a cubicle and they are afraid to poot because somebody might hear them, let alone smell that mess. See, they don't want to go to the bathroom more than the "other" guy so they sit there and .....sit there.....booty just be hurtin' yet...yet their ass is to tight to fart*smile* As you can see I am feeling a little good today. I woke up in a nice mood and put on a little oldschool type music and sang along like I was Lavert or somebody. Then I drove to my mothers house who lives in a different state. I would like to say that I went by just to see if she was okay but....that would be a ....ahhhh half lie. See, I have a confession....I....I....ahhhh...okay hold on......I like Chitterling!. There I said it...I said...I like those stankin', smelly, nasty looking thangs......yes I DO. But here's the catch....and most of you probably already know what that is........I hate cleaning them and I hate the smell that stays in the house. Oh yeah, I've heard all the stories about how you can make them NOT smell.....how about the old potato theory. Yeah, put some potatoes in the pot and they will not stink.......That's like putting a corn cob up a pigs ass and saying he won't stink.....come on know.....where the stink gonna go......and what about the "pre-cleaned" ones? What I want to know is who are these people that "pre-clean" chitterlings and how do you get that job...*smile*....for real....what do you tell the interviewer....."Hey boss man, I am the man for the job, I done been in a whole lot of shit"....think about it.....how much would they have to pay you to dig around in a pigs ass....*lol*..... Speaking of ass......*smile*.....hold up...I think I might get a little risky so if you are one of those....ahhh.....tight butts or their cousin, you might want to move around a little.....okay...I done told ya. Oh wait a minute, I didn't finish my story about my mother house. See, she also just loves her some chitterlings...she was raised on a farm and y'all know black folk back in the 20's and before did'nt have all the thangs we take for granted. So that big pig was a meal and a lot more....hey...soap...you know. Anyway, as soon as I came through the door with those wrinkles she was moving to get that corn bread going......soooo, if there is any clean ing to be done......momma got it! Now where was I.......ooooh...tight...no no...oh I think I was going to talk about dating but how did I get someones behind mixed in with dating.....uummm.....oh...smile.... Dating is the most stressful thing a person can do I mean......all the little nice sh*t flowing...all the little pleasantries...all that fake mess you have to move through.....before...before you even get to know the person... I hate it....then if you are lucky enough to find a date that ain't a tight ass that might want to go to some place that they've only read about so that they can tell their tight ass friends about it......you might move to a second date and maybe just maybe you might start liking this person and move the relationship forward. Now comes the questions of intimate contact. Do I kiss her......where do I hold her.....do we even open up a sex conversation....when do we even admit that we ain't had sex in about 1 million years .......you know all that mess that brings fear to the game....But if one is lucky enough to find someone that doesn't have that shotgun breath and their shoes doesn't look like they've just cut the grass in them and there ain't 4 child restraint seats in the car you might get to move to the next level. Now here is were I don't play around....I mean... sex and all that involves is very....VERY VERY SERIOUS. Now when this subject comes up and your partner or date starts talking about their old mate just remember all that shit they are talking about them....just put your name in place of theirs...oh yeah,,,you gonna be that same ...that same dirty stankin' no bath takin M'er F'er.....oh yeah,,,think you ain't......what you think they are going to say....."oh I got caught in bed with my boss and his old girl friend"....come on....they are going to whip that shit around. So I get some of that.....you know ...that sex do's and don'ts out of the way.....hey, if that stops the action right there....I am cool with that....look, I'd like to think that I am open to most...ahhh.....MOST....ahhhh sexual maneuvers...okay. But, let me tell you....maybe I shouldn't......nope, I can't say that on this site.....then again what are you going to do...*smile*...****tight butt alert****.....anyway, you know how you kind of fish around to see what type of person you are dealing with.....I mean if the women opens up with "hey, what do you think about swingin'.......I am out of there....*smile*....I mean, that nudist camp thang and group love mess ain't for me....nope! And I'll tell you, I ain't no saint but I'll tell a women in a minute......"Look, you don't play around with my assho*e and I'll promise to leave yours alone" *LOL*.....really man....that don't sound like fun to me....poking around back there ***smile**....but hold up...I remember saying that to one women and she immediately got a sad look in her face.....I said,"what's wrong baby"...I thought it was going to be another love TKO...she pleadingly said,.." a girl might like a little spankin"....I said.....ohhh, don't get me wrong, I didn't say nothing about NOT SPANKIN' your fat ass......I will ooouuuu weeeee *LOL*. I feel a little funny about talking like that because I know there are some respectful older people that visit this board..... but ain't that stupid to even think that way.....why do we look at older people and think they never said anything like....."woooo daddy, that's yours...that's....oooouuu, you know what I like"....*smile*...WHY oh why do we think older people never talked nasty? ain't that stupid....but come on....I just looked at my mother and.......*lol*.....I hate to think that her and my daddy ever uttered such language...*smile*. Hey I'd better post this first part before I lose it..I did that on several occasions and could have cried...so I am going to shoot this forward and start the rest....okay? I ain't forgot that I was going to talk about y'all...oh no...I got ya Carey Carey |
Sisg Regular Poster Username: Sisg
Post Number: 297 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 10:30 am: |
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Carey, Carey, Welcome back in good ole fashion! What the heck are you talking about, lol! Funny, funny. Will chat later! |
Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 559 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 01:35 pm: |
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Sisgal!......Ohhhhh .......I have to laugh because I was about to start with yu this morning but as I look around the room........as I look around the room I see a young lady trying to hide her face......it's...ahhhh...Crystal!......you're up. But first, what do you think of when someone says Christmas? What images come to mind.....how about walking through the snow to grandma's house or the family gathering together at your mother's house .......I think about decorating the tree. Now what do you think about a Christmas in ....ahhhhh.....Las Vegas? I shouldn't have done that....I should have first told y'all about my conversation with Crystal. I've received a number of welcome back phone calls from you guys and I really appreciate it. I am always surprised at how my image of you very seldom matches your true voice. But sometimes.....sometimes...I hit it on the head........CRYSTAL CRYSTAL CRYSTAL. I thought she would be a nice sweet compassion filled person........but nooooooo......when she stopped laughing at my phone message, she turned into Godzilla.......yeah, she read me the riot act......no I am just kidding, but you would have thought she'd known me for one hundreds of years the way she talked to me.....no... I am just kidding. But there is something about black women that live on the west coast....see, they don't know to much about the rest of the country. See, we were talking and she said she didn't sleep well because of the helicopters.......Am like.....okay, does she live on a military base or something......she had assumed that all black folk live in neighborhoods where helicopters fly over n chasing the bad guys.*smile*...I didn't want to just come out and asks...ahhhh...I didn't want to say,..."damn girl, what neighborhood do you live in?"....so I said....."Damn girl, what neighborhood do you live in?....*lol*.......oh, before I continue I should tell you that I might be taking a little.....well.....I might not be telling the story EXACTLY the way it happened but....anyway, after I got over the shock of the drive-by planes, we settled into a nice conversation......for real though....Crystal has always been a friend......she was one of the first to call me some time ago. We have talked over the years, she's a friend of mine and that's why I can poke fun at her. I talked to her yesterday and told her I was going to mention her on the board and she told me to speak as highly of her as I did of A-Womon. I had to inform her that one thing I will not do .....one rule I can not break....and that is to compromise my integrity...*lol*...I told Crystal that she should get out of all that sandand......ahhhh....gun fire, and come out east and live a little......She's thinking about it...thanks for the call Crystal, you've always been there and I am lost for words at how much that has meant to me...THANK YOU! Hey, how do you pronouce "Sese"......okaay, how do you pronouce CeCe....right. I was sitting at a burger joint eating a Big Cheesy when I received a phone call and a small southern voice said "hello Carey, this is CE-CE".....I hesitated and I could tell that my lost for words kind of made them a little uneasy........I said do I know you and they said, "yes, I am from AALBC and we have exchange post on several occasions"......I was lost because I knew hee name as (Cess) not CE-CE. Anyway, we had a wonderful conversation.....talked for over an hour.....I think it was an hour .......I don't know which of us was running their mouth the most.......in fact the only thing that stopped us was my phone.......my battery went out in mid sentence......she's easy to talk to, just like I knew she would be......she's a great listener...ahhh...if I could ever get her to shut up...*lol*.....no..no....I had to throw something at her .......I did't want her to think that she's above the rest..*wink*...yu know that ol'fathead thang......but no.....she was very much the lady what I thought she would be....she's cool people......she did bust one of my fantasys.......wait y'all, don't even think about it.....remember me saying that I saw her.....I imagined her in the kitchen cooking while singing a song.......SHE DOESN"T COOK!.....I remember a women once asked me if I'd be with her if she didn't cook.......I looked at her like "what a stupid question"......I looked at her and said ..."baby".....nothing can keep me away from you.........but...but, if you don't get your behind in that kitchen and make some noise with dem pots and pans I could change my mind...*smile*.....HI Sese.....CECE! ***Looking around the room*** Linda called yesterday.......I didn't get a chance to speak with her because by the time I got the message I was on something....I called her back .......I called her back and some gorilla sounding dude answered the phone......no no,.... that's a joke(Linda could be married and lawd knows some brothas don't want to hear anything about no jokes.........where was I....oh, I didn't get to the phone but I did call her back and again the voice didn't match my image of her......Y'all done seen a picture of Linda, right? Well...ahhh.....she...ahhhh...she looks kinda...ahhh...white-ish....I mean, not white acting...she's light of skin color.....well let me tell you......from the sound of her voice she sounds like she's all black and will kick a nigga's ass if he ain't right.....I ain't lying.....shit, I got scared listening to her.....*lol*.....She's got that Della Reese thang going on.....do you remember that movie Della Reese was in with Eddie Murphy? The one in which she squared off with Eddie......THAT"S LINDA.....*lol*...no no no....I know I can kid Linda because as she said ....she's a friend....I have her autographed book.....did you hear me.....AUTOGRAPHED.....usually when authors autograph your book and they know you, they say some nice s**t......Linda must have felt like she knew me because she wrote..."Nigga, you know you owe me for this book, I ain't out here for nothing, when you get your come up I want mine"....I said, "daaaaamn"...no..no..I made that up...I must say her call shocked me....really, you guys are something else, you've touched my soul.....Sese....CECE, reminded me that we've been doing this for over ten years....ten years!....I miss Thumper, that was my guy.........Linda Thanks For The Call!...Hey, how did you like that answering message?....how could anybody take me seriously after hearing that!!....blame it on my son...he told me my last message was to serious and you see the results of me "trying" to be "less" serious. ***looking around the room**** SISGAL Sisgal has that serious sounding voice......she could be a ....ahhhh.....*smile*....well she does have an office.....she does live in "that" neighborhood.......*lol*....no,no,no.....she's good people....you read my letter...opps...the cat is out of the bag.....Wait....Diane and I have known each other for several years....we have exchange pictures.....family pictures....we've talked several times on the phone, so it was no surprise when she called....I like Diane...she's even.....she's poised...she's.....you know.....anyway, when I said I would love to meet her in person I meant that...see, I love conversation and she's an interesting person...we talk about ..or converse about several things...ahhh like KOLA...ooooh nooooooo.....I shouldn't have said that..*lol*...no we don't..... that was a joke......anyway, it's just that some take the whole thing wrong when you say you want to meet someone....look, I live like a million miles from Sisgal and to spend a day with her would be cool. In fact I am going down to her spot next month and I am going to ask her if she'd like to go out for dinner.......what do y'all think she will say?.....I don't know....after reading these posts the women might say....might say...."nigga you crazy"...in fact she has said that but not in a way that implied....you know...Y'all know she's doing big thangs...oh yeah....she's got her own publishing company.....oh yeah....now why would she want to have dinner with a thug like me. Hey, I can tell you a few reason why...but....you know. Most people are affraid to be different, I am not, I am just Carey....Hello Diane, Thanks for being you!....See, I even have a hard time finding something to poke fun at her......There has to be something.....I'll ask her husband.....*smile*....wait all you little gossip whores.....she is no longer married ...so there...*smile*....Damn it...there I go cussing again....it's really for affect....or is it effect....anyway I just wanted to add a little punch to the thang....really....... Sisgal what did you really think of the message machine.....come on now, I am a big boy.....should I change it?....bye now....love ya. ****looking Around the Room**** Man, I've been on this thang for a while......I think I'll get back with ya......ohhhhh don't think I forgot about you........YOU.....CYN-CYN.....yeah you.....I might have to work in about an hour to do you right...*LOL*...remember I knew you when your name wasn't Cynique......oh yeah...*lol*.....wait, and there are others I can't wait to...ahhhh.....you know! Carey Carey
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Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique
Post Number: 10399 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 01:54 pm: |
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You'd be very surprised if you ever heard my voice, Carey. LOL. After 10,000 posts, anybody who's a regular on this board can get a pretty good fix on me. I'm not that different in person. I wish that I could be a sweeter person, but the b i t c h tends to prevail. That's why my husband loved me. He liked a challlenge. LOL |
Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 560 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 02:13 pm: |
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OK, Cyniquian Poster.lol......I still have a thang about that level of poster thaang ...but that's for another time. |
Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 561 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 02:27 pm: |
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Cyn-cyn, what are you waiting for...hit me....Okaay, I probably will not hear the call...my phone has been jumping straight to voicemail without me even hearing it ring. I was in a meeting the other day and I think I turned off the ringer and I can't seem to turn it back on.....but I will get a "message arrived" tone.
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Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique
Post Number: 10401 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 02:37 pm: |
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I prefer to do my talking on the board, babe. I don't mix my cyber world with my real one. LOL |
Crystal Regular Poster Username: Crystal
Post Number: 347 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 02:53 pm: |
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Why you hatin on Vegas? Casino bums need love too you know. Where do you think Santa ends up after chasing around the world looking out for the kiddies – Vegas Baby! I’ll be waiting for him with a mojito at the bar at the Bellagio and maybe he’ll let me rummage around in the bottom of that bag of his [don’t go there Carey!]. And no you didn’t try to talk out the side of your mouth about South-Central! Man, sometimes those know nothing midwesterners need to just go suck on a corn cob somewhere and be quiet ‘cause L.A. ain’t meant for everybody.
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Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 562 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Monday, October 22, 2007 - 02:57 pm: |
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real/cyber.......uummmmmm.....ahhhhh OK.... Let me leave that one alone...I feel you though....uummmm |
Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 563 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - 01:10 pm: |
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Crystal......I didn't see your post yesterday.....but anyway, it's always good to hear from you....*smile*.....that's why I like you so much.....you know how to have fun....you know what this is all about..... Now had we not talk you might have taken my silliness toooooo seriously. Laughter.......to me is a blessing....I can remember when I could find nothing to even smile about let alone laugh......so thank you for letting me be a little silly. aahhhh....dig around in the bottom of Santa's bag.....*smile* Hi Sese! Every time I go to my mothers house I instantly turn into a 15 year old again. I mean, if I open "her" refrigerator she say's what she has always said "what you looking for in that Ice Box, ain't nothing in there"....then she continues with, "did I hear that water run, wash your hands boy"....Momma's,...... there are nothing like them! Thank God I still have mine! After I finished yesterday I thought maybe that should be my last post of that nature....maybe I've offended some and that was never my intent. I even had regrets about some of the language I used. I mean....in conversations one on one we know our company, so even though I may have been talking for effect and know that SOME of you know where I am coming from, others.... many more do not.....sooooo I am going to back this thang down.......excuse me for outwardly expressing some of my regained joy...I don't want to get sanctimonious....as Cyn-Cyn would say but......sometimes............ Hi Diane Thanks for the call Linda! I can't hit you back because my phone is funny but I welcome your call anytime! Carey Carey
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Linda Regular Poster Username: Linda
Post Number: 210 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - 03:35 pm: |
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Carey I have to admit your phone is funny, in more ways than you think. I thought I had the wrong number...like maybe you just wanted to see which of us would actually call you and then you were going to get on here and post some stuff about how lame we are for listening to your crazy message and thinking you were going to respond. So thanks for calling back. By the way how was the - you know- why you couldn't talk that night? |
Carey Veteran Poster Username: Carey
Post Number: 564 Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, October 23, 2007 - 07:51 pm: |
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Linda It was nice, a real laid back setting. Next up is a guy that was voted the top male jazz artist of the year......now I forgot his name...in fact I don't even remember if I knew it but I know it's going to be a great night. You know, not a bunch of fools shootin' and carrying on. No rappin' about...you know all that mess that's on many rap CD's. Don't get me wrong .......I do rap, but I am more of a Biggie and Tupac kind of guy. I like more of the east coast thang ....not that lil'wayne kind of thing. He done blown up and I can't quite get there. I am old school and I prefer mellow vibes. Am more of a Will Downing and Jahiem kind of fellow. This brotha named Lyfe ain't bad either, I don't like it when he wants to talk before every cut but he's okay. You brought up an interesting point, perceptions are reality aren't they. Just hearing a persons voice immediately changes some of those false perceptions. Even the cadence in which they speak tells you a little more about them. Some don't like to break down the wall of this Cyper thang, I love the suspense of it all. I mean life is an adventure and then it's all over......would have.....could have....should have..... I try to look at the positive side of my last "adventure" and I learned that one has to go through "it".... It being "fear". I am now a convicted Bank Robber.......SO......SO WHAT.....that's what I have to tell myself...what does that tell you about my life before "that" ...who I was.....before "that"....or better yet who I am now.....NOTHING....Absolutely NOTHING....one can assume a great deal but they really know nothing........others are lonely.....some are miserable......others are liers and fakes......we are all something.....something that we would like to change.....some will not admit to themselves that they have any character flaws.....ask them and they'd tell you that they have not sinned.....yet they continue to do it on a regular bases......as long as no one knows...hey they cool and will be the first one to point the finger at others.......you know what I am talking about. I wasn't on anything other than to broaden my friend base and to share a moment or two with each of you. I......I.....I can't have enough friends. Don't get me wrong, it's not easy to expose myself to the world and prepare to take a call from someone that I've never talked with....I get nervous thinking about it.... there's a bit of worry in that. But I know the rewards of broadening my world will be greater because of it. Have you ever wanted to travel and go somewhere you've never been yet didn't know anyone in that place. It's always so cool to go to a city and realize that you have a friend there that you can just say hello to. And sometimes.....sometimes you make "their" day....... Thanks for making my day by giving me a call....you probably didn't even know it but you did a good thang that day........you gave love to a brotha that has lost some joy.......WIFE....HOUSE....JOB....CARS......FREEDOM.......OOOOOUUUUU WEEEEEEEE, thank you for the moment Carey Carey |
Linda Veteran Poster Username: Linda
Post Number: 211 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, October 24, 2007 - 12:37 am: |
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Anytime my friend! Anytime! |
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