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Ceelove
Newbie Poster
Username: Ceelove
Post Number: 35
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 03:25 pm: | 
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Can someone tell me why black women hate Black men that like them? |
Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 115
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 03:32 pm: |
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Because they're so fine!!!!!!!! |
Ceelove
Newbie Poster
Username: Ceelove
Post Number: 36
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 03:34 pm: |
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Cute!! |
Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 116
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 03:56 pm: |
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But truly, Ceelove, I wasn't sure whether you were just being sarcastic or not. I am ALL for black men appreciating black women, but the two women you have singled out for praise are not particularly attractive. Lola Ogunnaike and Kola Boof are homely or, at best, average. So I thought you were just being sarcastic and spiteful by keeping on saying THEY ARE SO FINE!!!! |
Ceelove
Newbie Poster
Username: Ceelove
Post Number: 37
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 04:09 pm: |
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No, I wasn't being sarcastic.I think they are very attractive women.We should look at everything about a person not just what stand's out. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4953
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 04:22 pm: |
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Can someone tell me why black women hate Black men that like them?
(There are many reasons. What we call Love is actually a love hate relationship. The greater the affection you have for a person, the more upset you are made by thoughtlessness, cruelty, painful things we all put out to people.
It is magnified. Some women have had bad experiences with men and take it out on all men. Other women are just mean.
They are hardened combat veterans. They have been lied to. They have been betrayed. They have seen the brave warrior turn coward and leave them in the lurch. They have been ripped off.
They know love is another four letter word--love aint noithing but sex misspelled, love aint nothing but a monkey on their back.
They know your love can result in nine months of living hell and hours of pain and 20 years of piss and shit and cries in the night and somebody hanging on them. Kids.
The bloom is off the lily. They know you are full of shit, no matter how sincere you are.
Black women have to be mean. They live in a hostile environment. They can trust noone. Everybody is a tom or a thief or a traitor--one who comes forth in all love one minute can stab them in the back the next.
This is a thang. It is what they put up. Ever see two animals mating? How the female with run and scratch and fight? This is to ensure that only the most worthy get to impregnate her, so that her offspring are strong.
Though it sounds awful, much this same thing is operating.
All these women you can eventually have if you are worthy.
Of course there are those that hate their own black selves and, seeing you as the mirror image, hate you.
Avoid these.
The next time some woman out here you love treats you mean, just remember--
Pimpin' ain't easy. |
Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 118
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 04:39 pm: |
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Pimpin' probably is quite easy actually: it's basically being a parasite is all. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4955
Registered: 03-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 04:51 pm: |
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Pimpin' probably is quite easy actually: it's basically being a parasite is all.
(Let's see. It's illegal as hell. A felony really. Each time you accept money from a prostitute or induce her to engage in prositituition and a Federal rap each time you take her across state lines to do it.
You are thinking of this 24 hours a day, in addition to facing off with women who would cut your throat at the first sign of weakness.
Everybody hates pimps--cops, johns, prostitutes, citizens, the male relatives of all the girls--
The cops can do anything they want to to you and nobody is going to do anything--
Ever heard a pimp suing because his civil rights were violated? Police brutality? No because the case would be laughed out of court.
Pimp story true--
Magic Don Juan said the cops used to pick him up. Jail him. Take his car. Pick up his women. Bring them in. Say to them "Look at that monkey in that cage."
You think you could pimp after that? I couldn't.
You don't keep any money. Everybody knows what you are doing so you can't hide out.
Pimp story. One of Fillmore Slims women was killed by the Zebra killer. Slashed all to pieces. The cops took him down to the morgue to look at her. Between blows they told him she would not have come to that if he didn't have her out there working.
Think you could go through that? That would be my last day pimping.
You think you could order a woman out to get robbed, arrested, raped, her throat cut by Johns? Could you order a woman out in bad weather, two months pregnant and sick?
I don't think it is easy at all, which is why most of them wind up crazy or dead early and almost all of them wind up down and out and broke. |
Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 124
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 05:07 pm: |
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ChrisHayden you must be on crack. |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1764
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 07:18 pm: |
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Black women don't HATE Black men!! In fact many if not most show an "blind" loyalty towards them.
Its Black men who HATE Black women!!! |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2443
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 08:53 pm: |
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"Black women don't HATE Black men!! In fact many if not most show an "blind" loyalty towards them.
Its Black men who HATE Black women!!!"
 ....................
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 9620
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 09:04 pm: |
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Chris,
Are you SYMPATHIZING with pimps? |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 873
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 23, 2007 - 09:47 pm: |
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Black women in "America" have issues that are unmatched by virtually any other group. Unfortunately, they've also developed a reputation for being dismissive, arrogant, self-centered, condescending, rude, attitude-challenged, disruptive and overly emotional - to say the least; not exactly the qualities that anyone looks for in leaders, decision makers and role models. That said, if (they) would "stop" comparing themselves to everyone else when (they) "enter the room" so-to-speak, then the uneasiness that usually precedes (their) presence would dissipate, allowing a more civil engagement of the senses to occur. The prevailing sentiment for many years has been that when black women are ”in the house”, no one’s smiles, but when they’re absent, the party doesn’t skip a beat. |
Renata
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 2481
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 08:33 am: |
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Nels, I'm seriously wondering where you're hanging out where black women aren't wanted around at all (probably just YOUR house). And they make such bad leaders that you're more likely to have a black FEMALE boss, teacher, and professor than a black male boss, teacher, or professor.
You need to get out of Idaho, dude.
BTW, what's up with all of those bitter kids?
Chris, you have got to be kidding me. Even watching their hos DIE, they die, he looks for another chick to replace her. Doesn't seem to me that he got the bad end of the deal. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2445
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 11:18 am: |
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"Black women in "America" have issues that are unmatched by virtually any other group. Unfortunately, they've also developed a reputation for being dismissive,.......when black women are ”in the house”, no one’s smiles, but when they’re absent, the party doesn’t skip a beat."
Wow! That's a hard core brazen assessment. Anyone care to refute it?
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Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 129
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 12:24 pm: |
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They're so fine!!!! |
Ceelove
Newbie Poster
Username: Ceelove
Post Number: 38
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 12:27 pm: |
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Just kola and lola! |
Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 130
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 12:36 pm: |
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What about Bola and Nola? |
A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1756
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 12:41 pm: |
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Black women in "America" have issues that are unmatched by virtually any other group. Unfortunately, they've also developed a reputation for being dismissive,.......when black women are ”in the house”, no one’s smiles, but when they’re absent, the party doesn’t skip a beat."
Wow! That's a hard core brazen assessment. Anyone care to refute it?
No but I have a question. When was Nels ever at a party with a bunch of black women? Or in a room anywhere with them?
Just more made up BUH SHIT! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 9622
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 01:07 pm: |
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Nels,
Tell the truth: Ever got laid?
And I'm NOT talking about via your hand. |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4964
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 01:16 pm: |
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Chris,
Are you SYMPATHIZING with pimps?
(Nope. Just saying it ain't easy--) |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1765
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 7 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 01:34 pm: |
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Truth be told Nels has probably never been around Black women. So he is just making a 'baseless' assesment. And of course his White worshipping Neo-Con friend NTFS comes running to 'slap him on the back'!!
Nels is a tired, lonely, bitter Black male. And he reminds me of the tired ass Black men that I see everyday here in Cali who make tired, baseless assessments and stereotypes of Black women just so they can justify there lust/need for non-Black women.
The sooner YOU BLACK WOMEN start to realize that many if not most Black men think like Nels the sooner you start to realize that you are ON YOUR OWN!! And maybe y'all will start to get your PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9444
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 02:29 pm: |
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Isn't Nels from Cali, too? I never got the impression that he was a tired, lonely, bitter, black man. He seems quite energetic and very much in the mix - and even more into the mixture when it comes to race.
All is not lost for black women. They can make some "headway" if they just get over their "bad-boy" fascination, buffer their edgy attitudes, and check out the ordinary guys. Behind every well-groomed man who has reached his potential is a dynamic, supportive woman. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 9626
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 02:34 pm: |
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Serena,
You sound like Nels, but in reverse gender order.
Don't suppose the irony of that'll mean much to you, though. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2446
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 02:35 pm: |
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" And of course his White worshipping Neo-Con friend NTFS comes running to 'slap him on the back'!!"
Sigh.......You can't help yourself can you? Where did did I high five and slap him on the back? The man gave his opinion and that was that. People are free to challenge or refute his post if they do not agree. Maybe that's his personal experience. I don't know. But the man is entitled to give his opinion regardless of how you may disagree. Don't like what he said? Fine. Then state why you think he is wrong. No need for theatrics and name calling.
SS, you take other peoples opinions too seriously and personal. That is why you are the only member of this board who launches into preemptive ear piercing screeching, raving and profanity laden temper tantrums when someone you don't like submits a post -regardless of the content. But I guess this is to be expected when you refuse to take your prescribed lithium as ordered.....shrug.....
"........and stereotypes of Black women just so they can justify there lust/need for non-Black women."
Ya know something, you fail to realize something very important SS. People do not need to justify nor rationalize their personal preferences. They just do it!! There is no impending doom or punishment about to be meted out (legally) for dating someone of a different ethnicity or race. This is America. People are free to date whom they please. They don't have to justify it. You may not like it (since there is absolutely nothing you can do about it) but people do not have to submit notarized written statements or have legal representation to explain their choices or justify who they date. You seem to be extremely confused about this.
"The sooner YOU BLACK WOMEN start to realize that many if not most Black men think like Nels the sooner you start to realize that you are ON YOUR OWN!! And maybe y'all will start to get your PRIORITIES STRAIGHT!!!"
Wow! Such hostility and anger. Well, I'm sorry your personal experiences with black men as left you so bitter SS. It's very unfortunate. But you stereotype and categorize all black men just as you accuse Nels of lumping all black women together. How is your daily toxic rant against black men any different or better than bro Nels opinion? Just curious......
|
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1766
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 03:13 pm: |
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Another tired, longwinded, meaningless post from NTSF. Then you create a 3 page post about words that I didn't even SAY!! I never said that there was some inpending "Doom" for ppl who dated/married outside of there race.
NOW DID YOU HEAR THAT ARE SO STILL BUSY CREATING YOUR NEXT 5 PAGE POST!!!
Secondly Cynique you are just "proving my point". If Nels is here in Cali he is just spewing the attitude that many Black men have out here for Black women.
HE IS A TYPICAL BLACK CALIFORNIA NEGRO MALE!!
The type of Negro male I am used to seeing licking the toe-jam encrusted feet of some 400Ibs, White/Hispanic female that are so vile and disgusting that them men of there own race don't even want them. |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1767
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 03:16 pm: |
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But I'm sure compared Cynique's 300 year old, bitter, tired, lonely and aimless life.
Nels is very energetic!!! |
Libralind2
Veteran Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 895
Registered: 09-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 03:21 pm: |
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These threads are so past common sense that I refuse to eat while reading them.
I might choke
LiLi
PS I will not give up drankin wine doe |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9446
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 03:28 pm: |
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This is a tired ol silly-assed subject, isn't it, Li-Li? Especially that same ol stupid garbage sereanasailor is stinkin up the board with. LOL. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2451
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 04:16 pm: |
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"Secondly Cynique you are just "proving my point". If Nels is here in Cali he is just spewing the attitude that many Black men have out here for Black women.
HE IS A TYPICAL BLACK CALIFORNIA NEGRO MALE!!
The type of Negro male I am used to seeing licking the toe-jam encrusted feet of some 400Ibs, White/Hispanic female that are so vile and disgusting that them men of there own race don't even want them."
 ....rant...rant...black men...rant...hate black women....rant...rant...rant...self loathing....rant...black men.....rant....Neo-Con....rant.....rant...rant....love white women.....rant.....!!!!!
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Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1770
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 08:34 pm: |
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GOOD NTFS!!
NOW YOU ARE GETTING IT!!!!! |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2454
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 09:23 pm: |
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"GOOD NTFS!!
NOW YOU ARE GETTING IT!!!!!"
Oh, no problem. We've all gotten it long time ago SS. Your pathological obsession over black men is legendary around here. What? You think no one has noticed your never ending sour grapes ranting against black men? You can't help it. What else are you going to do? Rejection and tragic relationships gone bad can irreparably damage the best of us. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 876
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 10:47 pm: |
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The choir is fairly humorous. However, when the ills of black American society are put into perspective, ranting and raving are hardly required in order to shine a light on the "irk" between black men and black women, and black women and just about every other constituency in general. Then again, it's expected that folks (here and elsewhere) would get a bit bent out of shape by what many already know. The truth doesn't necessarily hurt, but pulling down the phasod of meritless values that shield the square peg from the round hole, virtually always gets the blood boiling.
Re: The post - "being dismissive, arrogant, self-centered, condescending, rude, attitude-challenged, disruptive and overly emotional - to say the least"
When emotion instead of logic and/or reason drives both the thought process and the pointless rhetoric that usually follows, the effort frequently results in both futility and irrelevance raining down on the subject. Though my (i.e., "Nel's") post may be fodder for some, others may look a bit deeper into the "condition" that makes the black American woman the frequent butt of raunchy jokes, tasteless humor, and both physical and mental abuse. In all of that hostility, get the chips off your shoulders ladies.
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1758
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 24, 2007 - 11:40 pm: |
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only if you get the dirt off yours first...go ahead Nels...gone brush. that. dirt. off your shoulders...hahahahahaha! |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 877
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 12:16 am: |
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A_womon --
"only if you get the dirt off yours first...go ahead Nels...gone brush. that. dirt. off your shoulders...hahahahahaha!"
That ol' chip doesn't look like it's going anywhere anytime soon.
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Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1771
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 01:50 am: |
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Oh, no problem. We've all gotten it long time ago SS. Your pathological obsession over black men is legendary around here. What? You think no one has noticed your never ending sour grapes ranting against black men? You can't help it. What else are you going to do? Rejection and tragic relationships gone bad can irreparably damage the best of us. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Right only with your silly, neurotic obsession with spewing venemous hatred of any Black person who doesn't live up to your Neo-Con, elitist views. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2456
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 03:58 am: |
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"Right only with your silly, neurotic obsession with spewing venemous hatred of any Black person who doesn't live up to your Neo-Con, elitist views."
Naaaawwwww.......Don't try to deflect it SS. You know what I said is true. You can't deny it! It's too obvious. Your anger and cynicism is the result of painful and disastrous experiences with black men. One day, hopefully, you will be able to work past it. Trust me, such bitterness in your heart serves no meaningful long term purpose. Black men, like black women, are not all the same. You need to understand this. Trust me....
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1759
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 08:23 am: |
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*SHRUG* OH. WELLLLLLLLLAH! Does that mean you not gone brush that dirt off ya shouldahs?? |
Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 4977
Registered: 03-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 11:14 am: |
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There was this artist who was a great artist and he used this brush that was real hard to control and only the best artists could control it but those that could made incomparable art.
Black women are like those brushes. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9447
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 12:03 pm: |
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Come on now, Nels, get your ducks lined up in a row. It's not "phasod", it's "facade" (it's a French word). Sorry, couldn't resist.  |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5411
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 12:10 pm: |
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Ain't that the mofo that rode my ass about a simple typo. Get a pictionary Nels. You illiterate moron  |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 500
Registered: 05-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 12:15 pm: |
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But, Nels, how do Black women begin to remove the "chip off their shoulders" knowing they (we) are the "frequent butt of raunchy jokes, tasteless humor, and both physical and mental abuse"?
In many cases, out of necessity, that "chip" is the only thing enabling Black women to keep their heads above water and forge ahead. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2459
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 25, 2007 - 01:53 pm: |
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"In many cases, out of necessity, that "chip" is the only thing enabling Black women to keep their heads above water and forge ahead."
Well.....that's true. But there is a serious down side. By stridently and consistently utilizing the "chip", you will only exacerbate an already pre-existing bad and self defeating situation. How can you hope to reasonably address such a negative stereotypical image if so many are committed to perpetuating it? It's a no win situation by doing so. You only re-enforce a negative image via the self fulfilling prophecy. In your opinion, is there a workable alternative...???? The current mindset has proven to be disastrous.
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 878
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 02:20 am: |
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Mzuri --
"You illiterate moron"
Well, at 5411 posts, your ignorance is well noted.
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 879
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 02:24 am: |
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Urban_scribe --
"how do Black women begin to remove the "chip off their shoulders" knowing they (we) are the "frequent butt of raunchy jokes, tasteless humor, and both physical and mental abuse"?"
Perhaps the most appropriate answer to that one may lie in better understanding the true origins of the high rate of low self-esteem that many black women have. A rather complex issue, with an even more complex solution, I'd say. |
Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 1066
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 02:32 am: |
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nels, what you describe isn't sense at all...how can a person be "arrogant" and have low self esteem at the same time? |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 880
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 02:40 am: |
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Ntfs --
"In your opinion, is there a workable alternative...????"
Tough call. From observation, many black women come across as expecting "something" for "nothing", regardless of the token, figuratively speaking. The real difficulty appears to be in how to get black women to view themselves as "equals" based on their own existence, regardless of the standards upon which they are judged. Even more so, since many so-called "blacks" are not even truly "black" themselves, how does today's black woman validate the self identification and cultural affiliation that she has elected to associate with. Knowing where one fits in society makes it easier to determine one's weaknesses. The "predicament" of today's black woman is no one's fault but her own, as unbridled vindictiveness for events yet unearthed is wholly counterproductive. As we all know, blaming others only contributes to one's misery. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 881
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 02:51 am: |
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Misty --
"how can a person be "arrogant" and have low self esteem at the same time?"
Arrogance is self-driven, frequently by narcissitic tendencies. Self-esteem is driven by the assessment of conditions to which one is exposed or subjected to, which have a direct impact on how others view that person. Thus, one can be very arrogant in establishing the "pecking" order, but have low self-esteem based on one's perceived lack of a "given" quality, capacity, capability, or equivalent barometer.
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1760
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 09:27 am: |
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NELS:Self-esteem is driven by the assessment of conditions to which one is exposed or subjected to, which have a direct impact on how others view that person.
And NELS also said:The "predicament" of today's black woman is no one's fault but her own, as unbridled vindictiveness for events yet unearthed is wholly counterproductive
If self esteem is by your own words driven by outside influences(such as being bombarded daily by images of perfection that are unreachable, even by those who continually project these illusions!) How can you then turn around and declare that black women are at fault for the "predicament" we're in?
Also, how can you make such sweeping blanket, all inclusive statements such as from observation many black women come across as expecting something for nothing? You can only speak from your sphere of influence when you speak of personal observations as you could not possibly have observed enough women to make this assumption valid. It would be better for you to qualify your statement by speaking about the women YOU have encountered. This limits your perspective.
and as far as things "wholly unearthed" aren't we mostly products of the sum total of the experiences of our pasts? Therefore most would act out from this reality, and base expected future experiencs on the latter. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9456
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 01:19 pm: |
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The battle of the sexes began with the Garden of Eden scenario. In the present, some guy wrote a book about Men being from Mars and Women from Venus. It's not like this male-female conflict is unique to the black community. But like every other problem in society, the black version of it becomes a caricature. La-La Land, from what I hear, is a universe unto itself and is not a microcosm of the country at large. Great numbers of black couples are still falling in love, dating, and even marrying. The short supply of eligible black men, however, does seem to prevail all over the country and this certainly impacts on the situation. It has made black women competitive and in doing so has brought out the worst in them. It also enables the limited supply of black men, due to so many of them being incarcerated, to be choosey and smug. If all things were equal in the black dating pool, the dilemma would level off. But - until black men start growing up with father figures in stable homes, they will continue to exist in the limbo of being the most rejected and the most sought after. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5418
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 01:27 pm: |
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I have never had Black man shortage in my life. Ladies, if you are experiencing Black man shortage, reposition to an Army base. It's more dicks than you can shake a stick at and the brothers got JOBS!!! Hard bodies too. Damn.
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Yvettep
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 2171
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 03:31 pm: |
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LOL @ Mzuri! I have this image of you walking around Ft. Bliss literally shaking sticks at...Oh never mind! |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5420
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 04:13 pm: |
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I know that sounded hoeish but I was trying to make a point
BTW, the Army is stationing 30,000 new troops here and there's going to be even more
Too bad my prowling days are over 
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Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 146
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 06:48 pm: |
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MZURI is so fine!!!!! |
Ceelove
Newbie Poster
Username: Ceelove
Post Number: 42
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 09:17 pm: |
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What does she look like? |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 883
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:09 pm: |
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A_womon --
"how can you make such sweeping blanket"
Unfortunately, this assessment is not necessarily based on any single instance (e.g., my experience) alone. In general and no matter how subtle in appearance, black women also have an unflattering reputation for coming across as constantly political, irritated, untrusting, hotheaded and contentious; as opposed to assertive, forward-thinking, and productive. This is particularly true as you begin to scale downward on the socioeconomic ladder. Their predicament is routinely akin to smoking in a powder magazine; i.e., can you spot the danger?
In a nutshell, as long as one spends one’s life in comparison-mode, instead of striving for the next-level in competitive-mode, disappointment will follow. As a whole, black women would fare far better by focusing on a solution-oriented approach to the hurdles they face in life (both real and perceived), instead of chronically relying on cultivating defensive postures to preempt something that may or may not occur. Preparedness is one thing, but paranoia is a whole other ballgame.
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1761
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:28 pm: |
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Nels said: This is particularly true as you begin to scale downward on the socioeconomic ladder. Their predicament is routinely akin to smoking in a powder magazine; i.e., can you spot the danger?
When you speak of drifting down the socioeconomic scale, this statement could be used for any number of women in cultures across the board, so why attempt to limit these characteristics to black women?
I say that there is some embedded bias against black women and we are judged more harshly than others. These very same actions found in other women of other cultures are smiled at and considered attractive rather than derisive. Don't deny it. Hot tempered Latino women are considered sexy--for example. Now what reason other than an ingrained, propitiated, bias against black women could cause us to be judged so differently?
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1762
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:34 pm: |
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propitiated/ sorry I mean perpetuated |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 9635
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:38 pm: |
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Vicious cycle of bvllsh*t... |
A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1763
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:44 pm: |
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as long as one spends one’s life in comparison-modeinstead of striving for the next-level in competitive-mode
This statement is also unqualified. One cannot compete without first comparing. What would there be to compete against???? |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 886
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 10:49 pm: |
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A_womon --
"this statement could be used for any number of women in cultures across the board"
These characteristics are centric to the perception of how black women come across, as not experienced from women in any other racial and/or ethnic category. When black women are present, their is usually noticeable tension or caution in the air, regardless of how positive the engagement. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 887
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 11:02 pm: |
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A_womon --
"One cannot compete without first comparing."
Wrong. If you were given a simple task to build a fast bicycle without any knowledge that you would be competing against someone else for whatever reason, then "comparison" would not be necessary. In that case, "fast" would only be relative to itself. Compare is to discern a difference, whereas compete is to achieve a result that is perceived as "inferior to superior" against another instance of something; depending on the purpose of the actual competition.
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1764
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 11:56 pm: |
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compete is to achieve a result that is perceived as "inferior to superior" against another instance of something;
Ok Nels I believe you just proved my point. comparing inferior to superior in your example in explainig competition--No? |
A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1765
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, July 26, 2007 - 11:58 pm: |
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also if you have no frame of reference for what fast is how then do you determine if your creation is fast??? Hmmmmmmmm? |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 890
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 01:36 am: |
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A_womon --
"also if you have no frame of reference for what fast is how then do you determine if your creation is fast???"
Absent a frame of reference, fast can be intepreted as meeting a specific condition, but not necessarily satisfying a comparison. For instance, when you attain a speed at which your hair blows in the wind, that could be defined as fast, without being compared to anything, a simple "state" has been achieved. In other words, the speed attained is "fast" or "sufficient" enough to cause something to happen; e.g., a causal condition, but not necessarily a "root cause" in of itself. Accordingly, no comparison is necessary to determine what is actually fast, as what is "actually" fast may in fact be unknown. It all depends on the context in which "fast" is applied. Fast itself is a "state" of existence, not a parallel to some other observation. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2469
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 12:25 pm: |
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"When you speak of drifting down the socioeconomic scale, this statement could be used for any number of women in cultures across the board, so why attempt to limit these characteristics to black women?"
True, the characteristics can be found in other groups, no doubt. But they may be more common or not unusual for black women. Hence the slippery slope because suggesting such is usually met by a torrent of impassioned rebuke, histrionics and personal attacks. There seems to be no room for critical yet honest and factual criticism. IMO.....
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1766
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 12:46 pm: |
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No doubt there is SOME truth to what both you and Nels suggest, NTFS. The problem I have is the attempts to make the list "more common" among black women and the attempts to paint ALL black women with the same broad brush. Come on now! You can't possibly believe that your statements are always true of all black women all of the time? I don't think that you can say that what you claim is true. You might be able to substatiate your claim if you modify it to read SOME of the time, with SOME black women. Or SOME black women All of the time. This statement would more accurately reflect your stance. |
Yorubaprincess
Regular Poster
Username: Yorubaprincess
Post Number: 147
Registered: 07-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 12:57 pm: |
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What does she look like?
Mzuri? She look like a mix between Dave Chapelle when he's impersonating Rick James (•••••), Robin Quivers, Oprah Without Makeup and Andre Leon Talley.
In other words, she ain't a goodlookin wench.... |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9466
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 03:25 pm: |
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Yes, Nels, I'm sure you'd be the first to object if you were lumped in a class with pimps and playas and ex-offenders. You sound as if you've never been in the company of a bunch of upscale bougie blacks where the women manage to transcend their superficiality and present elegant and refined "facades". |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5432
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 03:37 pm: |
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Facade = phasod for all the dimwitted people  |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 2473
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 03:42 pm: |
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"No doubt there is SOME truth to what both you and Nels suggest, NTFS. The problem I have is the attempts to make the list "more common" among black women and the attempts to paint ALL black women with the same broad brush."
Understood. I was not attempting to make a brazen claim that "all black women do this or that". That would be inaccurate and unfair. I have never attributed any type of behavior to all black women. If you have noticed, I have always been very careful about this (e.g, ".....an unfortunate number..." or ".....a number of....." or "....quite a few...", etc....) .
"Come on now! You can't possibly believe that your statements are always true of all black women all of the time?"
Not at all! And I would never attempt to say anything was characteristic of all black women. Black women, like every other gender/group, have varying characteristics. Some may be more common than others, but not everyone is the same. There are always exceptions and differences.
"I don't think that you can say that what you claim is true. You might be able to substatiate your claim if you modify it to read SOME of the time, with SOME black women. Or SOME black women All of the time. This statement would more accurately reflect your stance."
A_womon, believe it or not, you and I are in total agreement! I was never attempting to attribute a particular negative behavior to all black women. I want to be very clear about this and put it in writing because I know some disgruntled bitter knucklehead is going to claim I was slamming all black women! I was only suggesting certain behavior that the poster stated was observable and common. And when I said common, you have to look at the social-economic group and the age group when making such claims. Specific demographics plays a very critical role in determining the accuracy of your claims.
But more importantly, I was trying to make the point that it is often extremely difficult to have an honest debate or discussion about this without running into a brick wall of hysterical name calling and personal attacks. Case in point: I was talking to a black female friend of mine the other day. I was mentioning that silly HGM (name revised) on BET. I mentioned the website and the outrageous hoochies that are presented at the web site. But before I could finish my point, she began screaming in the phone, claiming I hated black women, hated my mother and hated myself and hung the phone up!!! WTF???!!!
I never was given the opportunity to finish my point because she became unglued because she erroneously thought I was degrading black women. The point I was attempting to make (which I was never allowed to make), was the HGM show was a weak extension of the web site. It has these shameless hard core skanks (just like in the rap videos) arrogantly parading around and posturing. But those women do not represent black American women as a group!!! I was never given the opportunity to make that point. And just watch, some toxic fool is going to cherry pick this post and attempt to claim I was degrading black women and calling them names (as a group). Never fails. It's this type of hyper defensiveness, insecurity and belligerence that often makes dialogues about such matters difficult or impossible.
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1768
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 04:07 pm: |
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Never fails. It's this type of hyper defensiveness, insecurity and belligerence that often makes dialogues about such matters difficult or impossible.
Hmmmmmmmmmmm...Yes I can see how it might be difficult to intelligently debate this topic in certain arenas. This board being one of them. And black women might be hyper-sensitive about this subject right now which could compound the issue. But at this moment, I can see how some women would feel that way. I'm rather sick myself of the one-sided representations of black women in the media, myself. As well as all of the attacks and slurs, etc.
It would probably help if more black men would find a way to be supportive, understanding, and uplifting instead of jumping on the bandwagon and pointing up all of our flaws and NONE of our stregnths every chance they get.
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Jmho
Regular Poster
Username: Jmho
Post Number: 225
Registered: 03-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 04:31 pm: |
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Ntfs_encryption wrote:
But more importantly, I was trying to make the point that it is often extremely difficult to have an honest debate or discussion about this without running into a brick wall of hysterical name calling and personal attacks. Case in point: I was talking to a black female friend of mine the other day. I was mentioning that silly HGM (name revised) on BET. I mentioned the website and the outrageous hoochies that are presented at the web site. But before I could finish my point, she began screaming in the phone, claiming I hated black women, hated my mother and hated myself and hung the phone up!!! WTF???!!!
I never was given the opportunity to finish my point because she became unglued because she erroneously thought I was degrading black women. The point I was attempting to make (which I was never allowed to make), was the HGM show was a weak extension of the web site. It has these shameless hard core skanks (just like in the rap videos) arrogantly parading around and posturing. But those women do not represent black American women as a group!!!
And, you really wonder why you get pegged as degrading black women, so often? As many so called 'hoochies' or "shameless hard core skanks" that were featured, on the site, there were men, whom some would also consider to be "hoochies and shameless hard cord skanks", but when you telling others, about the site, you only mentioned the females. Besides the males in those rap videos featured, on TV, aren't or don't come off as choir boys, but they never get the criticism that the females do. The males look and behave just as foolish. This is why dialogues about such matters are difficult or impossible.
I saw the repeat of the show last night, on BET. And, I saw just as many uninformed males as women, on the program. But, if asked about the show, I wouldn't only mentioned, all the dumb males, and the ridiculious answers, to the fairly common, questions that they uttered. But, this is what usually happens on this board.
Another thing I noticed, folks are up in arms, about the representation of Blacks on the show, but then just on this site, others have posted pictures of 'hot ghetto mess'esque type of photos, and offerded commentary, all the while being entertained. Nobody got all self-righteous then. Just as those same type of photos are forwarded by e-mails. I guess when on TV it's wrong, but when posted on message boards, websites or e-mail inboxes, then it's all good.
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5438
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 05:32 pm: |
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Hot damn. JMHO hit the nail on the head. Here NTFS supposedly bemoans BET's Hot Ghetto Mess aka We Got To Do Better, and complains about "cooning," but yet he's the very one that posts those pix right here and it's all good when he does it.
http://www.thumperscorner.com/cgi/discus/show.cgi?tpc=23046&post=87171#POST87171
http://www.thumperscorner.com/cgi/discus/show.cgi?tpc=23046&post=87181#POST87181
Phoney. Bastard!!!
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Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 1070
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 06:47 pm: |
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all i have to say is this, with the way black women are treated...it's a wonder they arent going around blowing mufukkas heads off in mass...as ive said before luckily all they have is a "chip" on their shoulder....and even then you have MANY black american women who aren't like that and still manage to keep a positive attitude...not denying that alot of black american women dont have a bad attitude but i just seriously dont believe that it's hard to find black women who are the complete opposite of this either.
I think many try to use the "attitude" as nothing more than a justification to hate black women..
i have a friend who constantly says "any black women who isn't angry needs her head checked" |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 892
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 09:37 pm: |
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A_womon --
"Come on now! You can't possibly believe that your statements are always true of all black women all of the time?"
You're quite correct in that it is literally "impossible" to include 100% of all black women. Other than by pure speculation, through life experience, there is a very strong likelyhood that it would apply to at least 90% of the subject group, black women. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 893
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 09:49 pm: |
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Cyn --
"You sound as if you've never been in the company of a bunch of upscale bougie blacks where the women manage to transcend their superficiality and present elegant and refined "facades""
Oh, I wouldn't even beg to differ on that one. I'm quite familiar with that element.
On another note, it would be interesting if black women would take true stock of each other when in public and in private in the company of others, regardless of their race or ethnicity. Though a meaningful and unbiased study would be difficult to obtain from such an event, the effort alone would add merit to the argument, which some here obviously feel is quite disturbing. |
Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 1071
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 10:19 pm: |
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seriously though do the attitudes of black women in america account for black women all around the world? i havent seen too much of the "attitude" thing amongst black women outside america....and there are many black women here in america who your stereotype simply does not fit in any way...
to say it's 90% is a very extreem exaggeration.
and please dont pretend you havent met any black men with way worst "attitude" problems to the point where it turns physical.
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A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1769
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 11:11 pm: |
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You're quite correct in that it is literally "impossible" to include 100% of all black women. Other than by pure speculation, through life experience, there is a very strong likelyhood that it would apply to at least 90% of the subject group, black women.
I will never believe your theory, Nels. Have you ever been to Florida, Georgia, North Carolina? I know for a fact that the women (And men for that matter) do NOT have this problem as a group, they are very friendly hospitable,accomodating and a whole hell of a lot of fun!
Especially in Cocoa Beach area in Florida, where I am origionally from. I remember when I moved to Ohio, I would speak to some women and they would look at me and roll their eyes and the men would sneer and I was shocked because in Cocoa, speaking and smiling is a natural thing between women(and men).
When you go out to bars, the men aren't standing around waiting for women to offer them drinks or ask them to dance. They come over to you and ask, they take your hand and walk you out to the floor, and when the dance is over they walk you back to your seat! They are so attentive and act like true gentlemen! I LOVE southern men! They know how to treat ladies. And southern women do not bring a party down, cause tension, or ANY of that.
So Nels, I'm so sorry your experiences have been bad ones with black women. It has colored your point of view. I'm very happy to KNOW that you don't speak for all black men, with your negative and very limited views of black women... |
Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 1073
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 27, 2007 - 11:26 pm: |
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lol...i have a "southern-gentlemen" who will open the door, for you etc....but he is extreemely selfish and self-obsorbed...doesnt mean he doesnt have other good qualities though or else i wouldnt be talking to him.....i cant say he really knows how to treat a woman though just because he opens the door for me...lol
it seems im going to have to work with him on that a little....IF he's not too stuck on himself in his own little world to change that. if we could just get past that he would be perfect but i really think hes too cocky to change that....i dont know i'll try though
i'm a little angry right now...sorry...lol |
A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1770
Registered: 05-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 01:09 am: |
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I could work with him...does he have any brothers???? HAHAHHAHAha! |
Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 1074
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 03:47 am: |
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LOL....yeah he has a baby brother and an older brother... |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9474
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, July 28, 2007 - 01:06 pm: |
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Nels, I wouldn't dismiss the idea of "Charm" courses being a part of school curricula. The reconcilliation of black men and black women has to start somewhere, so maybe if black females took the iniative and got rid of their 'tudes, brothas would have one less excuse for chasing white women. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 895
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 06:17 pm: |
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Cynique --
"so maybe if black females took the iniative and got rid of their 'tudes, brothas would have one less excuse for chasing white women"
Therein lies the problem. You speak as if black women are "entitled" to the undivided attention and affection of black men. That is the very kind of 'tude that seems to shackle the emotions of many black women all over the country. People are entitled to chase and date who they please, and they owe no apologies to anyone else for doing so. BTW, perhaps the charm school you're referring to has run out of charisma, so to speak.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9479
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, July 29, 2007 - 06:49 pm: |
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The problem lies in you putting your spin on what I said, Nels. I allowed that black men can chase white women, and further stated that they would have one less reason to do so if black women made themselves more appealing by undergoing an attitude adjustment. And I don't get the gist of your last statement. A woman does not have to have the special mystique of "charisma" to get a man. In fact, her elusiveness is very often what makes her charismatic. Charm school teaches a woman how to be poised and personable. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 899
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:10 am: |
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"The problem lies in you putting your spin on what I said, Nels."
I believe you're mistaken. You missed the point altogether.
"further stated that they would have one less reason to do so"
The mere fact that you've stated that they would have (one less reason) to do so indicates a "problem"; an expectation. That's the point that I've been trying to highlight. There shouldn't be any qualification of the relationships that black men either seek or establish, to begin with. Stating that there should be (one less reason) is indicative of "dissatisfaction". Until you get "out of the box", your assessment will continue to be skewed toward a state of "unapproval" of relationships between black men and non-black women. Again, no one is "obligated" to consider anyone of a particular racial, ethnic or cultural group.
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 900
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:20 am: |
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Just a side note...
I'm in the cashier's line at the grocery store today. Several black women are in line in front of me. While all of the non-black women around them are taking care of business, smiling, chatting and so forth, the sistahs are playing with their hair, staring at the ceiling and the floor, pursuing their lips (in the usual sign of disgust), and doing just about everything possible to avoid "eye contact" with anyone else in the immediate vacinity. Talk about a "waste". |
A_womon
Veteran Poster
Username: A_womon
Post Number: 1781
Registered: 05-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 30, 2007 - 12:28 am: |
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Nels, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SHAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDUPPPPPPPPPPPP! About it already! Sheesh! We GET it. You're ashamed of black women, black women have most likely dissed the shit out of you, you're bitter about it, you ain't got one damn positive thing to say about black women! Okay? Quit beating a freakin DEAD HORSE! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9486
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 30, 2007 - 01:04 pm: |
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Well, does the pendulum swing both ways, Nels? Black men should get over their sense of entitlement in regard to black women conforming to certain expectations, especially since black men, themselves are so flawed. Black women could be standing in a supermarket line and experiencing a sense of disgust at loud, ignorant impatient brothas with an armful of items that will be paid with food stamps they bought from some male crack head. Do you ever consider why black women reject black men???? Nobody is saying that there is not a "problem" in the black man/black woman paradigm. But the guilt has to be shared. What critics of interracial dating object to is the automatic assumption that white is better than black. A white, fat, trailer park door mat, is not better than an attractive, intelligent sister with a pleasant personality. Such women do exist, as you would discover if you'd broaden your horizons. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 901
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 30, 2007 - 10:15 pm: |
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That ol' defensive posture is certainly in overdrive.
"What critics of interracial dating object to is the automatic assumption that white is better than black."
Who's assuming anything? IMO, interracial dating has nothing to do with "white is better", expecially since "interracial" includes a very big pool of potential non-"black" prospects.
"Such women do exist, as you would discover if you'd broaden your horizons."
Still looking for the correlation. Horizons? Hmmmm?
As for responding to some of the "other" recent comments in this thread (not yours of course), we'll just leave those tired antics alone for now.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9489
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 11:40 am: |
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Why wouldnt somebody mount a defense against an attack, Nels? You did it. And interracial dating has a lot to do with preferences. A person prefers one thing over another because the first is perceived to be better than the second and this is implicit in how black women are routinely passed over for those of another ethnicity by certain men. As for broadening your horizons, you seem to be a very provincial person who thinks the sun rises and sets only on Cali. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 902
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 08:57 pm: |
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Based on the way that this exchange has gone back and forth, in my mind it's quite obvious that the point was missed altogether.
"And interracial dating has a lot to do with preferences."
Not always so.
"A person prefers one thing over another because the first is perceived to be better than the second"
Wrong. Preferring one thing over another could be as simple as selecting something that is "appropriate" for a given situation, but not necessarily better; in any instance. Your statement appears to be too broad, despite being subsequently qualified by an argument that falls on the deaf ears of all but those who believe it to be so. Again, like it or not, this IS part of the tired 'tude that many others speak of. Provincial? Hardly. Having lived on the East Coast for many years and visited more than 40 states, I'd say not, and we're not even talking global travels and observations yet. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9497
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 - 09:51 pm: |
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When you're dealing with women, "approproriate" becomes interchangeable with "better", Nels. A guy prefers a skank when he's horny for a booty call, because she's better in bed than a frigid prude; he takes a confident professional woman to a corporate networking because she's better at handling herself than a timid nerd; he takes a fun-loving extrovert to a big bash because she's better at socializing than a shy introvert; and he may be the type who takes a glamourous Barbie-doll to a record industry after-party because she's better at impressing his colleagues than a black sista. Plus, what people witness and experience is what formulates these "tudes" you speak of, - as your subjectively so obviously attests to. For somebody who claims to be well-traveled, it's hard to believe that you've never encountered a black woman who didn't taint the atmosphere when she entered a room. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 903
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, August 01, 2007 - 01:01 am: |
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Getting directly to the point, the context of the "black sista" is wholly (irrelevant) in today's globally interconnected multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and multi-racial world. No one cares about the "plight" of the black woman, as referenced by the 'tude, and tired shackle of insecurity that accompanies it. What is important is that people look beyond phony allegiances and sieze on personal, business and social constructs that promote freedom of association. Though I have encountered many black women who haven't tainted the atmosphere, there have been legions who have done nothing but hurt their cause by chronically seeking sympathy instead of recognition. It's quite obvious that you and I are not of the same mind, background, or ancestral mold. That said; therein lies the diversity that makes this board a continually interesting experience. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5458
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, August 01, 2007 - 10:19 am: |
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I'm trying to figure out what Nels was doing in the grocery line while ALL the Black women were playing with their hair, staring at the ceiling and the floor, and pursing their lips in the usual sign of disgust, while ALL the non-black women were taking care of business, smiling, chatting and so forth. Was he taking notes? Did it occur to him that perhaps the Black women weren't interested in him, and that maybe they already had a man? Not all women go to the supermarket trolling for dick, you know!!!
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Misty
Veteran Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 1086
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, August 01, 2007 - 10:24 am: |
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nels, bullshit,
you're supposedly well-traveled so im pretty CERTAIN you've run into "legions" of latinas and asian women with HORRIBLE attitudes being that youre a black man and they more than often tend to straightout HATE blacks and they have absolutely no qualms about letting you know this...they dont hide their hatred like the white girls do.
but all in all id rather deal with an asian, latina or a black lady anyday because you know where she's coming from...at least you KNOW when they dont like you and are seeking to do something to you. my experiences with white girls is that they've pretty much been consistantly sneaky and extreemely phony.
i know this is coming from the perspective of a female but my dad has had the same experiences with latinas and asian women and he cant stand them at all....can't even stand to be around them for the msot part....and he's not too fond of white women either only he's not as critical of them as he is other races because white girls are so fake and smile-in -your- face sneaky....but the prejudice, stuck up, premadonna, i'm better than you "attitude" is still there with the majority of white women....and it eventually comes out no matter how much they try to hide it. these are what my experiences have shown me.
now, i'm all for black american women working on their attitude problem but i won't dare be so stupid as to say their "attitude" is really any worst than other races. they jsut tend to be more straightrforeward and to let their true emotions out more often than white women. however in my experiences black womena re no more striaght foreward than asian or hispanic women.
you're just being very TYPICAL and placing more judgement on black women while overlooking it in other races. this is not new and i don't know if it will ever change....and perhaps that's a huge chunk of the reason WHY so many black american women have the attitudes they do and have no qualms about letting their feelings out or being politically-incorrect with folks . It's why they have no problems out and out showing them (especially people like you)that they simply don't give a fukk.
and please lets not even get into the fact that the majority of people (not just black women)feel a sense of entitlement to the opposite sex of their own race...not saying this is right or that it should be this way but this is just the way it is and being that youre supposedly well traveled im sure youve seen this so please dont try to sit up here and lie. hell white girls feel a sense of entitltement to men of ALL races (not just white men)and get offended if ANY man chooses a black woman over them...and do we seriously have to get into black men feeling a sense of entitlement to black women also????
again your post is typical and pretty much explains why black women just dont give a fukk.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9498
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, August 01, 2007 - 12:47 pm: |
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Nels says:
..."the context of the black sista is wholly (irrelevant) in today's globally interconnected multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and multi-racial world. No one cares about the "plight" of the black woman, as referenced by the 'tude, and tired shackle of insecurity that accompanies it. What is important is that people look beyond phony allegiances and sieze on personal, business and social constructs that promote freedom of association."
Cynique replies: This is true but the United States is the "context" of this discussion, and in this country the "black sista" question is a prominent issue because it pervades all aspects of our society, not just the dating scene. Yes, interracial dating is an inevitability and is, indeed, about freedom of choice. But it's only natural that black women, who are the losers in this situation, feel abandoned, and their disappointment over this has been transformed into the hostility and cynicism they direct toward black men. And so it goes. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 5460
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, August 01, 2007 - 01:40 pm: |
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Really. WTF is globally interconnected anyway? Is anyone here globally interconnected, and if so with whom? And when did our world become multi-racial? Because it's still black and white as far as I'm concerned. I suppose Nels's boss is multi-racial and not a white man. Stop talking out of your ass Nels.
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 904
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, August 01, 2007 - 06:58 pm: |
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Cynique, your point of view is well noted.
Yes, the 'Tude has been confirmed. A chuckling contest might just be in order for the high-volume retorts of Misty and Mzuri; so misguided and marginalized, to say the least. Nonsense-to-English Thesaurus' go on sale soon; yeah, I should have bought one, but "excuse" the humble ignorance and stupidity I became afflicted with after reading their replies. Or, perhaps we should just pour some rock salt on those open wounds of theirs (that are going to get a lot worse before they get any better). |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 9638
Registered: 04-2004
Rating:
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, August 02, 2007 - 12:43 pm: |
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Ladies,
Honestly, it would really only be worth investing your energies in debating our resident nimrod Nels about the alleged foibles of Black women if their FATHERS, BROTHERS, LOVERS, MALE KIN/FRIENDS and (these days, very few) HUSBANDS were considerably BETTER socialized than Black women, which they most assuredly are NOT.
But, alas, you gave this joker exactly what he was looking for: Your getting heated enuff over what he's posted such that he can jerk off.
Mofos like him gotta get his play from the sistas ANYWAY he can. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9501
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, August 02, 2007 - 02:22 pm: |
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Puleeze. Everybody isn't in to your passive resistance defense, AMB. Women have the courage of their convictions and prefer to speak up and express their opinions as opposed to shirking a confrontation for fear that debating an issue will expose their weakness and enhance the effectivess of their opponents. And your attributing the stance taken by the multi-racial Nels as a way for him to get his jollies, says more about you and your "pussy-mongering" self, than him. LMAO. |
Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 905
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, August 02, 2007 - 06:47 pm: |
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Abm --
"our resident nimrod"
I've finally been elevated. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 9506
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, August 02, 2007 - 10:19 pm: |
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I'll say. A "nimrod" embodies considerable rank and status. Hummmmmm. You must be doing something right, Nels. LMAO. |
Sabiana
Regular Poster
Username: Sabiana
Post Number: 181
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, August 03, 2007 - 05:11 pm: |
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I love how Nels seems to be "all-knowing", and over zealous "educated, and well-traveled" black man (even though he never says so himself, my guess is that he, himself, is in fact multi racial, accounting for all the mullato nation internet sites that he cites.
I'm sure you don't try to Nels, but you come of as condescending, and of course we are all resident "fools" who are so misguided that we simply don't agree with you. You guys remember the ancestry question?)
You obviously have some type of issue with black women in all. However, I won't let this goad me into making anything anti towards any other race of women.
I just wondered why this "attributes" were so quickly gathered to black women?
How can someones experiences be so limited?
So Nels, were you expecting people on here to agree? Futhermore, will you answer anyones question directly, or will you just come back with "witty" remarks, never answering them. I'm dying to know.
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 907
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, August 06, 2007 - 01:06 am: |
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Sabiana --
No, I could care less about how folks perceive my comments. As far as answering questions directly, my observation(s) speak for themselves.
Furthermore, (resident "fools") is irrelevant IMO, as my view is not condescending, but assertive, at a minimum. Don't get me wrong; though I may occasionally disagree with others on this board, I still respect their right to voice their opinion. That's what makes interactive dialogue so intriguing. My journey here is not to insult per se, but to constructively engage. As anyone here who knows me will attest, I can be quite humble, but I can also dish out the heat if need be.
Short note: all black women have to do to "shake" the 'Tude is to assert themselves without letting emotion usurp “principle”, logic and reason. This is "absolutely" essential to (gaining control) of the "situation" and environment in which they live. Unfortunately, having "thick" skin is a "must" in a society that is immersed, in conjecture, innuendo and deceit. If for once, black women could just absorb "any" given situation for what it “is” instead of what it could be, that would go a long way toward tearing down the perception that black women are insecure and driven by negativity instead of extreme self confidence.
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Nels
Veteran Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 908
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, August 06, 2007 - 01:08 am: |
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Cynique --
"nimrod"
Yes, I'm still a bit foggy after lifting my tired behind off of the floor, again. |
Imtiredowaiting
Newbie Poster
Username: Imtiredowaiting
Post Number: 26
Registered: 09-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 04, 2007 - 07:40 am: |
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you cant judge the bad behavior and attitudes of a few against the majority.
if a black woman is gonna fold her arms and sulk i ain't got time for that.
my advice to frustrated black sisters is to learn to respect yourself live and let live and leave the bad attitude behind.
if you follow that advice you cant go wrong. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 10165
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 04, 2007 - 11:36 am: |
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Do you have any advice for black men?? |
Imtiredowaiting
Newbie Poster
Username: Imtiredowaiting
Post Number: 27
Registered: 09-2007
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, October 04, 2007 - 12:37 pm: |
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well
yes, treat your woman right. love and honour her don't cheat or tell lies.
never beat her because you for sure that
violence solves nothing and it destroys confidence.
be supportive,never deny her anything good
be prepared to lay down in the dirt for her
and above all be yourself..she will appreciate you more.
none of the above costs anything but time and effort..she is worthy..remember that women are a compliment to the man
so never stop being grateful and giving thanks to our loving considerate and generous heavenly father for giving to us "women".
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