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AALBC.com's Thumper's Corner Discussion Board » Culture, Race & Economy - Archive 2007 » The Baby Looks Just Like Its...Daddy??? « Previous Next »

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Abm
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Post Number: 9530
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 10:44 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

While at a store yesterday, I waited in a check out behind a lovely married couple and child.

The husband is White. The wife's Black.

And their 1 or 2 year old daughter somewhere in between.

The kid was an adorable little something. Smiling, laughing and flirting with everyone around her.

So, I admit, she made the wait worth it.

However, one thing I couldn’t help noticing was how she did NOT look like either her father or mother.

She looked so unlike either parent that I might have assumed the kid were adopted had her mother not made some remarks about still trying to regain her pre-pregnancy figure.

I couldn’t (and can’t) help wondering what it must feel like to make a child that does NOT look like you OR its other parent. And I wondered whether that’s a common issue with and problem of parents – especially the fathers – of biracial children.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 11:06 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM, someone sent me this from
BLACKVOICES two weeks ago.







I love my mixed race baby - but why does she feel so alien?'


LOWRI TURNER




"She's getting very dark, isn't she?" This is what one of my friends recently said about my much adored - 12-week-old daughter.


She didn't mean to be rude. But it was a comment that struck me with the force of a jab to the stomach.

Immediately, I was overwhelmed by a confusion of emotions. I felt protective, insulted, worried, ashamed, guilty, all at once. The reason? My lovely, wriggly, smiley baby is mixed race.

Now, I think of myself as pretty 'right on'. My home is on the border of the London Republic of Hackney. I've been to the Notting Hill Carnival, even if I found the music a bit loud. Yet now I realise what a 'white' world I inhabit.

I am white and I have two sons from my first marriage who are both milky complexioned and golden haired. My twin sister, who I spend a lot of time with, has a Danish partner. As a consequence, she has two boys who are also pale skinned and flaxen haired.

Into this positively Scandinavian next generation, I have now injected a tiny, dark-skinned, dark-haired girl. To say she stands out is an understatement.

My colouring and that of my children has never really been an issue before. However, three years ago I met the man who became my second husband and who is the father of my daughter.

Although born in the UK, his parents came from India in the Sixties. This makes him British-Asian and our daughter mixed race.

There is another more PC term for the plump little bundle I strap to my front. She is 'dual heritage'. It's a bit trendy, but I quite like it. It implies a pride in coming from two cultures, rather than the less attractive connotations of 'mixed race'.

The usual time something is labelled 'mixed' is when it's a packet of nuts and they've bulked out the luxury cashews with cheaper peanuts. I'm not sure I want my daughter to be regarded as an adulterated version of some pure original. Still, it is the most accepted description.

The truth is, whatever the label, the fact there is a label proves that my daughter's conflicting parentage matters.

At the more frothy end of the scale, mixed-race children are regarded as pretty dolls — white kids with a nice tan.

When I was pregnant and people asked me about the child I was having, and I explained her father was Indian, they would often coo something along the lines of: "Ooh, she's going to be beautiful!" as if I was discussing a new rose, made from an exotic cross-breeding programme.

On a less benevolent level, mixed-race children can receive a hostile welcome from both white and black communities. Being neither one thing nor another may get you on the cover of Vogue, but it isn't an easy way to make friends.

But this is 2007, surely things are more enlightened than that? I hope so, but I fear not.

One reason for my fear is my own mixed reactions to my daughter. Don't get me wrong, I love her. She is the child I didn't think I'd have after my first marriage broke up. She is the only granddaughter in our family and we all dote on her.

But when I turn to the mirror in my bedroom to admire us together, I am shocked. She seems so alien. With her long, dark eyelashes and shiny, dark brown hair, she doesn't look anything like me.

I know that concentrating on how my daughter looks is shallow. She is a person in her own right, not an accessory to me. But still, I can't shake off the feeling of unease.

I didn't realise how much her looking different would matter and, on a rational level, I know it shouldn't. But it does.

Evolution demands that we have children to pass on our genes, hence the sense of pride and validation we get when we see our features reappearing in the next generation.

With my daughter, I don't have that. Do black fathers who marry white women and then have paler-skinned children feel my sense of loss? Or maybe Chinese mothers or Middle-Eastern grandparents grieve when they see a child they know to be their own, but whose features don't reflect that?

I worry that, as my daughter doesn't look like me, people will assume she is adopted. After all, it's all the rage in showbiz circles.

Madonna famously scooped up a black child when she wanted to be a mother again and Angelina Jolie appears to be assembling a 'pick 'n' mix' of kids from different countries. It's all very United Colours of Benetton, isn't it?

In the real world, I fear for my daughter's sense of self. She has a tiny foot in two cultures. How will she negotiate a path between the two? I worry that my sons will feel less of a kinship with their sister because she is different, although there is no sign of that.

As for myself, there is an inescapable status issue to address. White women who have non-white children are stigmatised as 'Tracy Towerblocks' living on benefits, most of which they spend on lager.

Even if I don't fit this profile, my daughter's difference definitely points out the fact that my children come from two different fathers.

If I wanted to pass us off as a nice, neat nuclear family, she would blow my cover at once.

But it is more than that. I am frightened, frightened of others' reactions to her, as well as my own. I didn't think of myself as racist and yet my daughter has shown me a side of myself about which I feel deeply uncomfortable.

Even admitting to having mixed feelings about her not being blonde and blue eyed, I feel disloyal and incredibly guilty.

I know the obvious comment is that I must have known how a child of our union would look when I married an Indian man, but it is a wise woman who thinks that far ahead when she falls in love.

I didn't think about any of this before I got pregnant. I wanted to have a baby. Her colour and culture were immaterial then.

But self-flagellation is not useful. I have more pressing concerns. I am now the mother of a 'black' child, even if she is more the hue of weak tea than espresso.

This is a role for which I am utterly unprepared. Part of me thinks I should be playing sitar music to her in her cot, mastering pakoras and serving them dressed in a sari, but that would be fantastically fake coming from me.

When she was born, pale but with lots of dark hair, I asked the midwife if her eyes would stay blue. 'Asian genes are very strong,' she said in what I took to be an ominous tone.

No more Brady Bunch kids for me. The midwife has been proved right and every day my baby's eyes get a little darker.

Even so, when she looks up at me as I feed her, my heart melts. My love may not be colour blind, but hers is, and that is truly humbling.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 11:48 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

That's a GREAT article.

You've gottah love her honesty and candor. I mean, to admit to having racist views against your own flesh & blood is...CHILLING.

But it speaks to just how deeply irrational fear and resentment of Blackness really is.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 11:52 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Btw: What was also interesting about the couple were they were both quite attractive (by generally accepted standards) people.

The sista is a lesser-toned Angela Bassett.

And her husband has sort of a early 90's Ted Danson thing happen.

But their kid could 'bout pass for Mexican. (HAHAHAHAHA!!!)
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I really admire the white woman's honesty.

She reminded me so much of myself, because
the things I talk about (my vagina, etc.)
that people think is so FLASHY....it's not.

Everyone has these thoughts like the White
Woman's, but she was brave enough and honest
enough to share them.

That's how I am, but I've noticed the MORE
truthful you are...the more people distrust you.

Fear?

**I also believe she genuinely loves
her daughter with all her heart.







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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

That is so STUPID FUNNY....LOL

Married to an Indian man, and feels "insulted, worried, ASHAMED, guilty" because someone says the baby is dark.

That ALONE says quite a lot! It goes on to show that even when in an interracial relationship, people are hoping that the child looks more like the WHITE family. In other words, "I don't care what race the FATHER is, we don't want no BROWN babies".

And I wouldn't be surprised at all....if HIS family weren't as equally upset about the baby's color.

ROFLMAO

(BTW, racism is dead)

LOL

People want to think all kinds of bullshit when I say that I didn't marry a white man because I didn't want a pale baby....but I would rather have done that than actually HAVE a pale baby and then bytch about how I don't like how the child looks (and the kid has to live with it).
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:23 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

But their kid could 'bout pass for Mexican. (HAHAHAHAHA!!!)


LOL!!!!!

I do have to say...there's nothing
prettier than a chocolate kicky-foot
little wool-headed angel fresh out the oven.

Black men are so wonderful for what
they put inside us. :-)







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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I don't doubt she loves her kid, either. Heck. I think her openly and honestly sharing how she feels PROVES how deeply she really loves her kid.


I've often wondered do a lot of Black men who mate with White (and other non-Black) women freak out when they see a kid, especially a son, who looks almost nothing like'em.

Considering that most men usually have some initial element of suspicion of the paternity of their kids, that's GOTTAH be a real issue for lots of brothas with Beckys.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:30 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "there's nothing prettier than a chocolate kicky-foot little wool-headed angel fresh out the oven."


Are you talking about having a kid or a freshly baked loaf of wheat bread?

Hahahahahaha!!!
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Seriously, though. Their kid's a living doll.

They should be proud of her

But I think it would freak me out if my kid looked Mexican.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM:

Seriously, though. Their kid's a living doll.

They should be proud of her

But I think it would freak me out if my kid looked Mexican.


KOLA:

ABM, it's natural for all humans to
feel that way.

The White Woman in the article above
stated some really true feelings that
are 'natural' to having a child who
is basically---a different race than
the parent.

I still get letters from abortion
groups and Mixed Kids Groups because
I aborted a white lover's baby--because
the dad was white.

But I knew I would have issues with that
kid.

And adoption was out of the question,
because I couldn't be sure that another
person would love him any better or give
him what he deserved as a human being.

So I decided that he should stay with GOD
instead of be villified or unwanted.

I do understand how people could HATE me
for that.

I do.

But I'm just being honest in that I could
not have a white man's baby.






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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

You make me feel REAL glad I never got any of those White chicks pregnant...
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:42 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

...Well. I THINK I never got any of'em pregnant.

*shrugs*
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

HA HA!!!!


I repeat...there's nothing
prettier than a chocolate kicky-foot
little wool-headed angel fresh out the oven.

Black men are so wonderful for what
they put inside us. :-)


I meant:

Black men like you are a Gift to us, ABM.

My sons are the only dream I ever had.

It really makes life worth it.










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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 12:44 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I had a black friend who was married to a white-skinned Egyptian. He married her thinking they were going to have black children. And it didn't help at all that she thinks Egyptian are "light skinned black people". The kid is about seven now...and if that kid isn't the spitting image of the actor TAKUYA KIMURA, lead singer of Japanese pop band S.M.A.P.

And the mother is so light skinned, I don't know how he thought his WHITE skin mixed with hers would produce brown skin.

My own son is darker now than I am, which I must admit I'm happy about (he's not that yellow baby you saw in the pictures anymore). And I can't lie, when we first brought him home from the hospital, my husband and I both asked each other, "how the hell did we get a pink baby?" After a year, kids darken CONSIDERABLY.

So, if you THINK she's not liking her daughter's skin color NOW....wait another year or two when she's about two shades darker.
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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 01:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM: "But I think it would freak me out if my kid looked Mexican."

Re: Actually, ABM, I think a good number of people marry interracially HOPING for a Mexican looking kid.
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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 01:32 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"'Asian genes are very strong,' she said in what I took to be an OMINOUS tone."

What? The midwife couldn't be HAPPY that the baby has strong Asian genes?

That's some funny shyt!

LOL
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 01:55 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Haha! Renata.

It is funny. :-)
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 01:58 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Lowri:

Evolution demands that we have children to pass on our genes, hence the sense of pride and validation we get when we see our features reappearing in the next generation.

With my daughter, I don't have that.




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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 02:05 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)



This woman's brutal honesty is so much
more refreshing than MOONSIGNS and her
veiled dogma.

Any human knows that there are "special
issues" present in having mixed children
and I love how this woman doesn't delude
herself.

You can tell she's a great mother who loves
her child, and because she's so honest, she
will be the one to find a healthy way to
raise the healthiest baby. WATCH.

I have a lot of faith in her making the
better choices.











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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 02:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yeah, I have to give her that much. You have some women who don't even LIKE their kids because of what they look like and will MISTREAT the child and never have the nerve to admit why they feel so distanced from their child.
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Latina_wi
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 02:21 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I can't believe you found that article Kola; and I am even more shocked than some people 'admire' the honesty of what she is saying. Lowri Turner is the biggest hypocrite going, she is British broadcaster and if ANYONE else has said this stuff she would have called them out. When she guests on the 'Wright Stuff' (a debate show in the UK) she often uses the fact she has a mixed raced child and an Asian ex-partner as some sort of card. Like she can comment on every issue that goes on in ethnic minority Britain because of it. Also, the paper the article came from has an agenda which is very anti-ethnic minority (black men and Asian men regularly appear, only usually as criminals) and they constantly complain about a PC agenda. The Daily Mail has a right wing agenda and is often mocked.

Couldn't she haved kept that sh't to herself? Fair enough, she cannot help what she thinks or feels - but do you really have to reveal these thoughts in the national press. How will her child feel that her mother's superiority complex means that she feels her daughter is unwelcome because she is dark skinned? If she felt so much guilt about not passing on her 'superior scandanavian looking genes' (that is the tone of her article in opinion) she should have kept her legs closed and carried on f'cking white men.

And even within families where your predominantly one race or just pure the kids can come out looking different. I have seen Black families and white families where the kids come out with a different look, from their parents and eachother. I am lighter than both my parents and last time I checked they weren't disturbed my appearance, nor my freckly sister, or my yellow coloured sister. And last time I talked to my mum she exclaimed a preference for my brother's skin tone, a rich, dark chocolate black.

This woman didn't have to scream these thoughts loud and proud. People always play the freedom of speech card but it doesn't mean freedom of responsibilty. Some things you just don't have to say, no matter how much you feel the need. It is like nowadays certain people feel that people have to hear their opinions.

Her poor, alien, foreigner child.
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Latina_wi
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 02:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Sorry; I just know what 'broadcaster' Lowri Turner is like and she is being hypocritical. Anyone else saying this would have been shouted down by her and her political correct, liberal, patronising agenda. She was fine with having a liberal persona when in debate and in front of a audience every morning. But when it came down to real life she was uncomfortable when actually faced with her own mixed, ethnic minority child.

I am shocked she felt the need to go to the press, why do people feel the need to tell us about every aspect of their lives and waking thought?

Shiiit.
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Latina_wi
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 02:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

And sorry, ABM I completely didn't answer your question as I got slightly incensed by that article.

I asked my mother how she felt having some children that don't look like her. Did she felt disturbed; she looked baffled and gave me a 'NO!'

We were talking about this in my house the other day in my house. My nephew has two dark skinned parents and came out light. Rather than feeling strange about this my father was pretty bemused, it also led us to discover what grandparent et cetera he could like. Fun talking about people from the past and how genes are passed on.

Some of my brothers and sisters may not look like me, they may look like generations gone, but it strengths the bond as we know we are fam and we have taken different looks from various aspects of our family. Still we are connected.

Obviously, this is different for everyone. I am not speaking for everyfuckingone.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 06:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Latina_wi,

Like in most other things, differences in upbringing and culture influence one's perspective of this issue.

I'm not from a background where there's been much recent mixing of races. And there's much similarities amongst the appearances between my immediate forebearers, my siblings, children and other kin.

My daughters look more like me, or more specifically my mother, than they do their mother.

So I'm sure my perspective on this issue is informed by this.

Honestly, I've SELDOM witnessed children of Black parents who do not look like their parents. And on that rare occassion that such occurs, more times than no there's been some speculation about paternity.

But, okay: I don't claim to be "speaking for everyfuckingone" either.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 06:04 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Renata: "Actually, ABM, I think a good number of people marry interracially HOPING for a Mexican looking kid."


My heart cries out to'em.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 06:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

For now, I'll reserve my thoughts of Moonsigns' views on this subject. But I will say I do NOT envy all the mental and emotional gyrations and contortions she, her husband and children likely have to live with regarding race.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 06:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Latina_wi,

Obviously we here across the pond are not as familiar with Lowri Turner as you appear to be. I know nothing of her at all.

I don't see why Turner's candor about her feelings for her daughter bothers you so. I mean, hell, foks publish myriad article about many issues of LESSER gravity and quality than those involving a parent having racially ambivalent feelings for her child.

But if you could via the Internet direct us to some of her other musing or those of others who might provide a fair critique of Turner, I'd be much obliged.
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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 06:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Latina_wi, as you said, in your family the cousins who don't look like their parents look like the GRANDPARENTS instead. That's not really the same thing as not looking like either half of your family.

It's pretty common here for kids who don't look like their parents to look like a cousin, uncle, aunt, etc., etc. I had to point out an interesting trait to my husband. There are relatives in my family with an eye/hair color combination that isn't very common. No two siblings have it, and it kind of jumps around randomly. Only males have it. But when we see it, we know the kid's ours. I'm sure my husband would have FREAKED OUT if our son had the genes, as everyone in his family as far as he knows only has black hair and dark brown eyes. BUT...he would have known the kid at least looks like MY family.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:13 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I can't believe you found that article Kola;

Well never underestimate the far reach of "Kola fans". I am sent TONS of email each day, latina.




and I am even more shocked than
some people 'admire' the honesty
of what she is saying.

Couldn't she haved kept that sh't to herself?





LOL!!!! :-)

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl, you sound like those black women who don't
think issues like colorism (our dirty laundry) should be discussed
OUT IN PUBLIC...as though it's a secret from
the rest of the world
.

I definitely admire her, Latina, regardless
of who or what her past is.

She is opening a very important dialogue for
WHITE and latina women who are struggling with this issue around the globe, and she's brave
enough to put herself on the line.

It's urgently important that these feelings
be addressed.

On your part, Latina_wi, there is probably
the long igorned or denied feeling that
you are this mixed child she is talking about.

Look at how intense you became over the
issue, claiming it shouldn't be talked about
in public! (I mean WOW ??????)

You immediately inserted that you asked your
Mum if she felt those feelings due to her
children looking different than her (notice you asked her, not your dad--interesting) and you
reported that she said "NO".

So then what's your problem?

Let me take a wild guess:

Perhaps deep down, you think your mother lied so as not to hurt your feelings?

EVERY HUMAN BEING, Latina_wi....has thought
about having every type of baby.

Every human being also originally comes
from some type of "like-looking tribe"
where the children, generally, looked like
the parents....and the TRIBE itself looked
alike.

When people intermarry, a big consequence,
especially if it's Black skin on White Skin

is that the offspring will stand a very strong
chance of not looking like either parent...or
only "fleetingly" resembling the parents at
different moods and facial expressions.

THAT NEEDS TO BE DISCUSSED, and for
many "White Women" who fantasize about an
exotic brown baby accessory to make them
look 'cool'.....it can be downright devastating
to realize that they're now stuck with this
brown child whose kinky hair and wide nose
they are responsible for....FOR LIFE.

As the lady wrote---she lost STATUS as a white
woman in the white community.

This will affect her ability to date
white men.

It will affect how others perceive her
socially--clubs, parties, job offers.

It will TOTALLY dictate and affect her
daughter's life.

I can tell you right now...I would not date
a Black Man who had "biracial children", because
I'd constantly be paranoid that he's going to up
and leave me for a Non-Black woman.

In fact...I'm very hesitant to date Black
men who I've seen out on dates with Non-Black women, because I think they're just trying
to use me for sex until they can locate
their non-black chick for a relationship.

I'd rather date a White man first, and
be "used" than have my own men treat me
that way, and I have.

I've also met White and Latino men who would
rather date a really gorgeous Black woman than date a White or Latina single mother of a 'black' baby.

People expect more from their own kind.

So I KNOW what Lowri's talking about when
she decrees the "loss of status".

Notice how MOONSIGNS has to bogarde her way
here, because she has nowhere else to feel
entitled but amongst blacks.

Imagine how insignificant she'd be in a room
full of fellow WHITES.

These are VERY important issues that need
to be publicly addressed before CARELESS PEOPLE
bring even more unloved, unwanted children into
the world.

Do think that I, a proud black woman, would
want a son like Tiger Woods or Lenny Kravitz?

I'd take Shemar Moore or Halle Berry, I could
deal with them, but my point is...

I happen to believe that Lowri Turner loves
her daughter and that she's "soul searching"
as to how she can create the best possible
experience for her daughter...mainly through
the BEST channel...total honesty.

Delusions, Latina_wi, are what's killing
all communities, because denial and delusion
are especially what Black Folk and Interracial
Folk cling to the most.

LASTLY......







VERY CRUEL CONFESSION
on Kola's part, but hell...
CONFESSION is good for the soul



After watching beautiful black babies
be so hated, devalued and scorned by
the entire planet going back since
anyone can remember...

I get a real kick out of seeing
Mixed children being face with the
realization that they aren't always
what their parents wanted.

That they aren't the all-perfect dream
children SOCIETY shoves down our throat.

I got a kick out of your reaction to this
story...so sorry, but I did...

After all the torment that BLACK
children have been subjected to over
their color and hair...it
serves your mutant mutt asses right!

HA HA!!!!!!!

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!






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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:22 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I'm somewhat taken aback by Latina_wi's reluctance to publicly air what Turner feels. I agree it's must be something that bothers her in ways and to a degree she might want to attempt to think more honestly about.


One of the things I love most about my daughters is how they look so much like my mama (some of my kinfoks even call my youngest daughter 'lil [ma's name]' because they look so much alike). Sometimes I stare, hug and kiss all over them just for THAT.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:26 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM, I know what you mean.

My sons look like Simon (Thomas)...as
though he spit them out.

As an added blessing, they are so protective
and affectionate towards me that it's as
though he never left me. He left me with
the best part of him...it's such a gift.

As an "unspeakable" bonus...

....my deceased birth mother who I DO NOT
resemble

...often shows up in my older son's face
whenever he reads something to me from a
school paper, a book or is "reading".

I have often dissolved into tears, frightening
my son, because he doesn't understand why I
am crying. It's because he looks like my
charcoal birth mother---he's very dark like
Michael Jordan and even more handsome.

**Of course, I have seen mixed children
who look like their parents. I really have.

There's one biracial boy (white mother) down
the road 3 miles from me---he's nearly white
and yet he looks EXACTLY like his penny-colored
black father.

So, occasionally, it does happen.





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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I'm seeing LOTS of BW/WM couplings, lately.

LOTS and LOTS of'em.


And another thing I've noticed is the BW/WM couplings generally appear to be OLDER than most the BM/WW couplings I see.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I'm not asserting that foks shouldn't interracially date/reproduce for fear of their kids not looking like them. Nor am I asserting that in all case the kids won't look like them.

But I'm glad my kids look like me.

VERY glad.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:33 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

They're OLDER, ABM, because BW finally
give up.

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Renata
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:34 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I think it means more also when the child looks so different from the MOTHER. Remember, for at least the first 12 years, the MOTHER'S family dominates the upbringing/socialization of the child. After divorce, it's usually the MOTHER'S family the child sees more of and is more connected to.

So, if this woman is divorced from the asian dude...this child is going to family reunions, etc., with WHITE people and won't fit in with them. Heck, even if they were/are still married, chances are they spent most of their time/vacations/holidays with HER family....unless she had the kind of family who disowned her.

And apart from that, children learn their CULTURE and customs from their MOTHER. My husband isn't a southerner, but since I am, my child is growing up on fried fish and soul food. This child is going into the world looking INDIAN, and so will probably marry an Indian...do you think her mother is teaching her how to cook Chat-patties and curry?

There's a very cute actor that I MAY have mentioned here by the name of Takeshi Kaneshiro. Japanese name, Japanese face. Looks 100% Japanese and not at all Chinese. Even so, he dates CHINESE women, stars in CHINESE films, and speaks Chinese. Because his MOTHER raised him with her culture, NOT his father's culture.

So, it's going to make a difference in this child's life as she gets older and realizes that she's an INDIAN woman who was raised by someone who couldn't teach her how the world would react to her as an Indian woman.

Of course, if her mother tells her she was "insulted and ASHAMED" of what she looked like, she may get some idea of how the rest of the world (non-Indians at least) will react to her.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

My wife often say "It ain't fair I had to carry that child around inside of me only for it to come out looking exactly like YOUR a$$!"

Hahahahahaha!!!
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

But I'm glad my kids look like me.

VERY glad.


I concurr...I'm intensely grateful
my boys look like their father.

That's what I had hoped, because
he's such a great man and was my
rescuer.

I think I love them more than if
they had looked like me, to be
honest with you.








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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

My wife often say "It ain't fair I had to carry that child around inside of me only for it to come out looking exactly like YOUR a$$!"


LOL!!!!



ABM, I would kill to hear her say that to
you!!

I'd fall out in the floor laughing, because
I know what she went through!!!

LOL!!!


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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I think you're right.

And they often look uncomfortable. I try not to look at them too much (though I'll admit I wonder about how they got together). Don't want them to think I'm judging them or anything.

Hope they're happy...
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Hope they're happy...


ABM...stop, you're killing me. :-)

'Cause that's not what we say when
we see your ass snuggled up with Becky.




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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I actually think most Black women appear to prefer their children look like their fathers. Especially if they love or loved the men.

I guess it's like the child resembling their father links her to the father.

And mothers don't have that notion in their head about whether or not they're the kids parent that men can have.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Once my wife and daughters were waiting for me to arrive via plane. The flight had been stalled, so they'd gotten a bit antsy.

As I deplane and enter the Arrival section of the airport, as my daughters call out to me "Daddy!!" another Black woman looks at me and daughters and say to my wife "Lawd. You don't have to tell nobody who those chillren daddy is."
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM,

I talk to ...QUITE A FEW

Black women

who are with Non-Black men.

(and let's add the down low
pretend
"lesbians" who write to me)

and I can honestly tell you

that the MAJORITY

of black women, especially

with White Men or trying to be gay

....."settled" for those relationships.

They're with White Husbands and

still talking about 'black men'.

It's so sad how black women feel incomplete

when they're not by the black man's side

and how our men don't feel the same way.


If I did not have my boys, there is a

good chance that I would end up as one,

because honestly ABM...I fear my 40's.

Everyone wants to fukk me BUT

a black man.

People keep telling me: "get out of
California
".

What the FUGG are these KENYAN bit/ches

doing that they marry Black American men

so easily?????

And that's another harsh reality for

black women....being "sweet-talked"

(could this be him at last?)

and USED for a nut.

Talk about devastation and bitterness.







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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:47 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "'Cause that's not what we say when we see your ass snuggled up with Becky."


That's why on those rare occassions I "snuggled up with Becky" I did so in private. But then then the last time I did that was about 20 years ago, but that was during a time when brothas knew better.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "What the FUGG are these KENYAN bit/ches doing that they marry Black American men so easily?????"


Really? You're talking about BLACK Kenyan women...in CALIFORNIA???
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:52 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I actually think most Black women appear to prefer their children look like their fathers. Especially if they love or loved the men.

I guess it's like the child resembling their father links her to the father.


Definitely.

As I told you:

they are so protective
and affectionate towards me that

it's as though he never left me.

He left me with
the best part of him...it's such a gift.

**Not to sound incestuous or anything.




And mothers don't have that notion in their head about whether or not they're the kids parent that men can have.

Major factor nowadays. LOL!!!!



As I deplane and enter the Arrival section of the airport, as my daughters call out to me "Daddy!!" another Black woman looks at me and daughters and say to my wife "Lawd. You don't have to tell nobody who those chillren daddy is."

That is so heartwarming!

Just reading it.

LOL! at the lady.


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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 07:59 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM,

I don't know what it is.

KENYAN...yes "BLACK", that's really the
only kind of Kenyan women there is.

These Kenyan women just come out of
nowhere and there's a big wedding and
the man is .....BLACK AMERICAN!!!!

WTF.

It just baffles the fukk out of us
out here.


I know of about 14. I guess it's not a
WHOLE LOT---but it just seems like it is.

I think since the Ethiopian women refuse
to marry an AA then the men settle on the
Kenyan girls---because Kenyan women also
have very sharp fine features, only they're
deep chocolate with nappy hair--but they
still have that Iman/Naomi soft look.

They're always under age too. 16, 17

The Kenyan fathers arrange it and there
might be "money" that comes with marrying
these girls, I don't know.

Back home...the MEN have to pay a dowry.

Kenyan girls are extremely submissive.

They're Luol and Kikuyu, a few Oromo.

Far more submissive than Ethiopian or
Sudanese or Somali.

They're also tiny compared to West Africans
and much shorter than Ethiopians.

Real petite and Euro-pretty. No talking.

Ol bit/ches!!!
















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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"As I deplane and enter the Arrival section of the airport, as my daughters call out to me "Daddy!!" another Black woman looks at me and daughters and say to my wife "Lawd. You don't have to tell nobody who those chillren daddy is."

That is so heartwarming!
"


Yeah. Dem my babies. :-)
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:06 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Yeah. Dem my babies.

Awwwwwwwwe,

You're going to make me cry.

I am so close to my father and he is
my love.

I know how it is to be a princess
because of him.

I know your girls LOOOOOOOOOVES you
like I do my dad. :-)

I am SO BLESSED---you're making me cry.


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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:08 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)


Guess what, ABM?

I've been writing a poem about you.

And I'm going to debut it at my
Schomburg recital.

I'll let Troy Johnson tell you about it.

I wish you could come, but it's N.Y.




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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It's also going to be included in
this book.

http://www.amazon.com/Egyptian-Sudanese-American-Poems-Kola/dp/0971201919/ref=pd _bbs_sr_6/104-1199204-5667944?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1184544560&sr=8-6

The name of it is simply "ABM".

*The release date is actually February 2008.

I don't know why AMAZON gets the dates switched.

"Virgins" comes out November 28th.



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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:12 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)


The poem is about the "unsung black father".

Millions of men (the ones Media never shows
us) will be able to relate to it.




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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:20 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "Kenyan women also have very sharp fine features...still have that Iman/Naomi soft look.

They're always under age too. 16, 17

Kenyan girls are extremely submissive.

They're also tiny compared to West Africans Real petite and Euro-pretty.

No talking
"


Aight. I could see how A LOT of CERTAIN kinds of brothas would wanna marry up with'em. Especially the "No talking" part.


I recall hearing or reading somewhere lots of guys who graduate from Morehouse end up with Black women from eastern Africa. Never did any research on the subject, though.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Daughters are wonderful.

They often confuse, aggravate and infuriate the hell out of me.

And I can't imagine my life without them.


Thanks for the poetic honor. Kinda left speechless by someone of your immense poetic abilities commemorating a lil ol' something like me.

I'll be with you in the NYC, in spirit.

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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:26 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

That's them ABM!!!!!!!!!!!!

Every goddamn one of these B-Amer. Men
who marries an African is from
Morehouse College.

In fact, two of my "boyfriends" are
Morehouse graduates, but mine are
older black guys (mid-40's).

They're both divorced and never
married African.

But the young Morehouse boys...

They come here cruising Ethiopians,
get rejected...and marry Kenyan or
Eritrean.

Eritrean = YUCK! (very low grade women)

But they're beautiful to a BA man
because they look mixed.

Their country is trashy with no honor
so the women are GOLDDIGGERS.

Straight up.

Kenyan girls, however, marry a LOT of
Black American men out here.





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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:34 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I laugh at your descriptions of Ethiopians. You have ZERO regard for'em.

I don't really get the lure of Ethiopian women. I mean, the few I've spent any significant time with sound funny and were too light in the T&A department for my tastes. (Not saying all Ethiopian chicks are booty deficient, though.)

But, Hey. To each his own.(...bone.).
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

In Los Angeles, ABM...there is a large
"Little East Africa" section in the
Wilshire-Beverly District going all the
way to Santa Monica.

VERY few people know about it.

But this is where Black American men,
usually educated at "Black" colleges,
come to find submissive "African" wives.

Unfortunately, they don't visit the
West African enclaves which are even larger
and have more available women.

The Ethiopian girls are coveted--but stuck up.

They will marry WHITE, but not AA.

The Kenyan girls are shipped in "guaranteed
virgins" and come expressly to find AA to
marry and have babies.

What I detest...is these Morehouse AA boys
marry the Kenyan girl, put her in a doll house,
and then you see these guys bar-hopping and
partying all over town with other women.

You never see the Kenyan wife again. Just
hear that she had a baby or something.

I love to be submissive, but I don't want
to be treated like that.

One thing about African wives--they "expect"
mistresses. They are like French and Italian
women in that regard. So they don't ask
questions, because they are expecting it as
a "normal" occurrence.

This is what I meant when I said that Africans
say that I am "corrupted" by AAs. I am
submissive but not a fool--because I was
raised by hellified Black American women,
thank GOD!!!!!

I know EXACTLY meant about her submissive
women back home in Benin.

OMG!!! African women can be sickening.

Even elderly women bowing at men's feet talking
about, "...master."

Forget that.












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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Why you figure the Morehouse dudes are so into Ethiopian and Kenya chicks?

When they matriculate into Morehouse are they made to sign a eastern African cQQchie pact or something?
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:39 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I laugh at your descriptions of Ethiopians. You have ZERO regard for'em.



You mean the Eritreans???

I don't much care for Ethiopians, either,
though.

It's the Eritreans I was describing. :-)

But Eritreans look JUST LIKE Ethiopians,
only more mixed.

Their country is tiny and poverty-stricken.

Those bit/ches will drink urine and lick
the ash off your knee-caps for a
trip to JCPENNY's.











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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:41 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

Oh. So they store the Kenyan sistas in gilded cages while they cat around with floozier American natives.

Nice!


Kola: "Even elderly women bowing at men's feet talking about, "...master.""

Come on now. Don't front like you don't get down like that...sometimes.


Kola: "The Kenyan girls are shipped in "guaranteed virgins"..."

DAYAM!!! WTF kinda postage a nugga's gottah pay to ensure THAT??
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:46 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM...Black American men think of
a beautiful African woman as having
European features--but dipped in
chocolate.

Like Iman.

They don't, generally,
verbalize attraction for women who
look their own womenfolk.

Look how they run to Brazil.

But at Morehouse, they are specifically
taught their heritage and their blackness.

MOST of them marry black women and a
large number (nationwide) marry African
women.

As long as those African women are
"Euro" looking.

Kenyan women are VERY DARK, but they
are also very beautiful in a Euro sense.

British and other European men solicit
mail order brides from Kenya--because of
their submissive tribes.

Luol, Kikuyu, Oromo (my mother's race)
are very submissive female societies.

**I also notice...

...the men from MOREHOUSE are predominately
"light skinned".

Both of my "boyfriends" are yellow (one has
turned brown for summer only) and they
are very afrocentric, but still the sons
of women who look like Lena Horne.

SADLY...their interest in African women is
almost exclusively limited to you being
African.

But I enjoy one for his great conversation
...and the other one loves my cooking, which
is a sure way to be friends with me.




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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:49 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "Even elderly women bowing at men's feet talking about, "...master.""

Come on now. Don't front like you don't get down like that...sometimes.





LLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLL!!!!!!



Just busting my shit out!!!

Dayum.

Yeah...you right.

Dahomeyhosi called me on that, too, the
other day.





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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:52 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

What are the men after more: They're being African, their having the keener features or their being submissive.

I know there's probably no valid answer to that question.


I must admit there's probably an element within EVERY man that wants his woman to submit to him...utterly.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:55 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)



ABM, an African man will
not marry a woman who is not
a VIRGIN.

At least...a true African of
good bearing and breeding.

So they assume that you have
the same standards, and I can
guarantee you that MOST African
girls cherish their virginity
as their #1 bargaining chip in
life.

Now the good thinga about
FMG/infibulation....

is that you can TRICK "U.S." men
into believing they're the first one,
as I did in my bad girl days.

I was a virgin for YYYEAAAARS
with all kinds of Non-african men,
but that's the one good thing
about FMG/infib.

But yeah...those Kenyan
and Ethiopian girls

...they are Virgins on their
wedding night.

BELIEVE THAT.














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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:55 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

On the real, men want to dominate their women.

And the women want their men to be capable of dominating them.

Of course, there are MYRIAD reasons why that does not or cannot work in the current epoch, especially within a democratic republic.

But you can't totally fault some foks going along with that program, especially if it's of mutual benefit.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 08:59 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

What are the men after
more: They're being African,
their having the keener
features or their being
submissive.



You must have all 3 or he will get
a white woman.

(who will probably be much lower quality
than a white man would accept)

And even after he gets that "Iman" African
wife in the doll house--he's going to party
and sex up white girls anyway, because he
knows that African-bred female will put up
with it (provided he doesn't humiliate her
the way Sean Combs does Kim).

As long as her "African girlfriends" in
the "tea theatres" of "Little Ethiopia"
doesn't see (and black men don't party in
that area anyway)...she still has her pride
(and his babies to tend).












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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "I was a virgin for YYYEAAAARS with all kinds of Non-african men."

So there are at least a half dozen or so men who'd claim to have deflowered the might Kola Boof.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


Kola: "those Kenyan and Ethiopian girls...they are Virgins on their wedding night."

Really. How do they ensure that. Is there somekinda Ethiopian and Kenyan government agency that award premaritial Virgin CQQchie Seals of Approval?
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:06 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

You think these Kenyan-born wives are happy with their kept marriages? Do any of them start to become 'American' enuff to think they'd be better off being free of their marriages?
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:07 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)


ABM, the vagina is SEWN shut
until the husband cuts it open on
your wedding night.


Ethiopian girls have the old
fashioned "hymen" and blood drops.



HA HA!!!

Americans are so not used to dealing
with Virgins---they don't even know
how to tell them.

:-)






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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "the vagina is SEWN shut until the husband cuts it open on your wedding night...Ethiopian girls have the old fashioned "hymen" and blood drops."


Aight, you win. I'm (*gasp*) convinced.
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:11 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola: "Americans are so not used to dealing with Virgins---they don't even know how to tell them."


Babe. Big foot and Loch Nes monster are easier to find than an female adult American virgin these days.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:19 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM:

Kola,

You think these Kenyan-born wives are happy with their kept marriages? Do any of them start to become 'American' enuff to think they'd be better off being free of their marriages?

KOLA:

ABM, the problem is that they don't really
have any opportunities to consort with American
women.

The ones who come here already married to
an African and go into "business" with their
husbands---they (or more realistically, their
DAUGHTERS) become more Americanzied, but in
general, these type we're talking about...

"wifery"...

they remain ensconced in their African zones
within the surrounding American city.

As Dahomeyhosi tried to explain to someone
about the Senegalese are in N.Y.C.....the
"females" can live there and never EVER leave
that zone---they don't even have to learn English.

The female is protected and her duty in life
is to have babies and raise them. And STAY
BEHIND her man--which means in his domain.

Her children will learn English and do her
bidding as they grow up.

She will stay in her "tea theatre".

I had a white girlfriend that was dating a
black Morehouse man.

This white girl had a kid by him and was
seeing him NIGHTLY for YEARS before
we found out he had a "Mizrameyi" tucked
away on Beverly Blvd. like a sack of cornmeal
in a cabinet.

Married to a Kenyan with 3 sons...double life

...all because that Kenyan wife is not leaving
the "African zone" to see where he's at.

She'd be too afraid (though she did speak
English and sued the white woman--her FATHER
did--for 'alienation of affections').

These men like it like that freedom
and these African women come from cultures
that make them "pre-disposed" to that as
being "normal".

Half of them don't even give a shit, because
they're "infibulated" and would rather he go
bang that thing in somebody else anyway.

The wife is just the maid and makes babies.

These Morehouse men want to say that their
"SONS" are half African.

Kenyan women, dressed up and presented at
functions, are stunningly beautiful and
extremely docile and "well behaved".

They're the ones famous for walking
behind the men.


I hope you didn't think that was ALL of us.












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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:25 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)



ABM...in the Arab world

..and in North and East Africa

...they will KILL a girl for not
being a virgin.

That is why with "RAPE"--it doesn't matter
whose fault it was, the female is
RUINED.

It's also why Arab and E. African cultures
have unusually high rates of "ANAL" sex
and "ORAL" sex---just like amongst Catholics
---because the virginity is so protected.

A girl who is raped or loses her virginity
without marriage...will be disowned and
thrown into the streets to prostitution.

Or killed.

There is a book that would FASCINATE YOU,
and it's called "The Hidden Face of Eve"
by Nawal El Sadaawi.

If you want to really understand "virginity"
and what kind of culture these Kenyan women
are raised in (the same culture that raises
some women from birth to be 'sex slaves'),
then you should order and read that book.

The entire book is about African women
and Virginity.

Nawal is a white Egyptian, and my idol.

You have no idea what "virginity" really is
until you read that book.

ANDDDD...you will understand your
forefathers much better.










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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

So then there really is little incentive for a Kenyan woman who becomes American via marriage to aspire and do anything other than what you describe.

Hell. She'd probably be scared sh*tless to even try to.

What's the likelihood of their daughters being as docile and submissive as their mothers?
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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:33 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I'll add "The Hidden Face of Eve" to my (burgeoning) Must Read list.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

So then there really is little incentive for a Kenyan woman who becomes American via marriage to aspire and do anything other than what you describe.



Let me explain....

I said those women who come here as "wifery".

Not the ones who come for College or the
ones who go from Europe to the U.S.

(college girls will chooose "co-wifery" so
they can have their freedom during youth,
as I used co-wives during my pregnancies)

But I'm talking specifically about Kenyan girls
who want to find an American husband (or their
fathers want that STATUS/PRESTIGE for his
daughter because that's his princess).

Which is a LOT MORE than the ones who come
over for college.

KENYA...ABM, is one of those African countries
that does not encourage its women to be
educated abroad....the OPPOSITE of Nigeria,
South Africa and Ghana, who usually push
their girls to get educated.

Kenya had a woman run for president, but most
of their women are Kikuyu and Luol---those
tribes (not the country) don't believe in girls
being educated.

They are BIG on "wifery".

As I also said---CHILDREN are totally different
from immigrant parents and they want to take
advantage of the "opportunities" in the country.

The daughters of that wife are not likely to
follow the mother's role.

Most of the daughters of these women that I
see are "rebellious" and want to have
freedom of some kind.

It's hard to keep the culture going here
with the "children" of immigrants.








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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:38 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)


When you start reading it, ABM, let me
know--you will find it amazing.


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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

BTW...Nawal el Sadaawi, before she
was imprisoned in Egypt for her books
and before she became a "citizen of
the world" and feminist was
the first Female Chief of Surgery
in Egypt.

Though she is called "feminist", you
will find her to be more like me.

You will like her, I guarantee.





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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 09:46 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)


WHITE WOMEN I LOVE:

Nawal el Sadaawi

Bette Davis

Marilyn Monroe

Susan Sontag

Barbra Streisand

Sylvia Plath



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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 10:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

I've got a thing for a few White chicks too.

But I don't think we'd be talking about the same thing here.
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 10:35 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)


Ha Ha!





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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 10:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Unfortunately, ABM, I'm in the press today.

http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&ned=us&q=Kola+Boof

They want me to give a "statement", but I
just refuse.

I'm so tired of this shit, then whatever
I would be so kind as to say--they'd twist
it to make me look like a crazy liar.

This is why I'm glad you've talked to me
for so long, to help keep me preocuppied.
The boys are with their dad until late.

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Abm
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 10:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Kola,

What's going on? Because your ex has resurfaced, Bobby's getting skurred?
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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 10:48 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM, why can't they just credit the
State Department with telling him
that Osama's after him?

I'm tired of my name being put in
all this.

I just can't get my career going for
all this Osama shit.

At least they called me a "writer"---

WHAT I AM.

I didn't answer Bobby's calls either.

What can I do to save his ass?

Shit.









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Kola_boof
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 11:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

ABM?



~~sigh~~ :-(






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Misty
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Posted on Sunday, July 15, 2007 - 11:45 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Even elderly women bowing at men's feet talking
about, "...master."



are you serious? wow..i knew african women were submissive but didnt know it was that deep...lol

it's funny i had to argue one of my friends down about that very thing not too long ago...he was saying black women by nature are "bold", strong and not at all quiet or submissive....when i pointed out that women straight from africa and the carribean are the complete opposite he tried to deny it saying he knows plenty african and caribean women women who run the household and dont allow their husbands to step out of line....i dont know rather to beleive him or not because seriously every african girl i know was the complete opposite(very quiet and submissive)....then he said it was probably just a new jersey thing....

i do know some people lie just because they dont want it to go down that they're wrong and that's probably what he was doing.....he is with the NOI by the way so that could have something to do with his perspective..i dont know
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Misty
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Posted on Monday, July 16, 2007 - 12:01 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"The Kenyan girls are shipped in "guaranteed virgins"

kola, do you think alot of the morehouse guys have some kind of foreign bride thing going on where they pay for these women?


British and other European men solicit
mail order brides from Kenya--because of
their submissive tribes.


i have a few friends who i use to talk to who have tried the kenyan and nigerian mail order bride thing...most of them are american(1 of them was dutch).....and the women always end up taking them for a ride....i dont know of any black guys that talk about it openly though. when you told me about the morehouse thing it started me to thinking maybe some black guys are starting to do the mail order bride thing too.
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Brownbeauty123
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Posted on Monday, July 16, 2007 - 12:27 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

During a segment of Roots: The Next Generation, Kristoff St John held his daughter up and said she is the next generation..



ABM, did the little girl look anything like the one above? The minute I read your post I thought of a girl who looked like this..
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Serenasailor
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Posted on Monday, July 16, 2007 - 05:18 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

First off Kristoff St, John is FULL OF BULLSHYT!! He made a comment in Essence magazine about 12-13 yrs ago about Black women and why he refused to date them!!! It was your typical "ignoramus" hateful rants that many Black men use to justify there hatred for non-Black women. Well he was "blasted" by Black women everywhere and never appeared in the magazine since.

Also Kola I have to disagree with you. For whatever reason Black men tend to "settle". Most of the Black women that I know in IR relationships are with well respectable White/Hispanic/Asian men. And they are not fat, old or ugly. Many on them are very nice looking men.

One thing I noticed is that alot of Italian, French and many German men LOVE West African women!! In particularly Nigerian women. Don't know why but that is what they LOVE!! Not only that alot of them send off for mail order brides from Nigeria, Ghana etc.

I think for a Black woman many of them feel that if they are going to "cross that line". They are going to do it with "the cream of the crop". Handsome, professional, well-respected men. Unlike Black men who will settle on 400Ibs, White/Hispanic women.

Also ABM I noticed when I was in Chicago I didn't see alot of IR couples. And when I did they were BW/WM I NEVER ONCE saw a BM/WW.
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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 07:40 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

BB123,

No. The child I referred to in my initial post looked more like the child below.

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Misty
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Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 02:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

i know this native american woman who married a black man and their baby came out looking straight up puertorican (and im not talking about the black/spanish-looking puertoricans)...the baby didnt look black or native anywhere.
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Misty
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Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 03:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

abm do you think the fathers genes in a way have more influence over the "race" that the baby comes out looking like?


ive noticed that with most of the white mothers of biracial children the children come out looking more black than the mixed children who come from black mothers.


i think i remember reading somewhere that the fathers genes have the most influence over skin color and hair texture....i dont know if this is nessesarily true but i do think that what ive seen confirms it.
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Abm
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Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 03:31 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Misty,

I've not spent any time juxtaposing of the relative Blackness of biracial children of White mothers and that of Black mothers.

But I've read that that men generally have more melanin - or color cells - than women. So, perhaps, that might explain why the biracial kids of Black fathers might be Blacker than those of Black mothers.
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Renata
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Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 04:36 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

It's been mostly my observance that girls tend to look more like the father's family and boys tend to look like the mother's family. I'm sure this isn't 100% true, but in most cases that I personally have seen it's so. And this is regardless of race or whether the child is mixed or not.

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Misty
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Posted on Tuesday, July 17, 2007 - 06:17 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I've not spent any time juxtaposing of the relative Blackness of biracial


it's not something i spend alot of time juxtaposing it's just something i notice..as in most observations throughout life....if something keeps poping up you will eventually notice it
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Latina_wi
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 09:18 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

I haven't checked Thumpers in a while but Kola I wasn't looking at this article on a personal level at all. I just feel srry for this child that this mother is such a fame hungry attention seeker that she had to reveal these personal feelings to the press rather than keep them to themselves and wait till the child is older.

I don't always understand why people have to air their dirty laundry. Freedom of speech blah blah blah, but there are some shit you can just keep to yourself. Especially when it hurts others.
And Kola, you really don't\ know my mother. She says it how she sees it and has always told us the truth. The reason I didn't ask my father was because he wasn't in the house at the time, simple as that.

If my mum was disturbed by our different appearances she would say it (with tact obviously). Her Jamaican upbringing makes her straight talking, believe.

And Renata strictly speaking, some of us in my family - including my sister, don't even look like grandparents or anyone else in the family. They just, due to a combination of looks, look like individuals.

And ABM said:
I'm somewhat taken aback by Latina_wi's reluctance to publicly air what Turner feels. I agree it's must be something that bothers her in ways and to a degree she might want to attempt to think more honestly about.

Your taking my reaction far too seriously. I reacted the way I did due to me being a passionate person. There is nothing for me to 'think about', I am not even that mixed so the fact that I don't look like my parents et cetera is purely phenmenon and nothing else.

I have always LIKED not looking like my family.\ I hate when people tell me that I resembled someone I am related to. Call me off the wall, but I love being and looking like an individual. I love the fact there is truly one of me, I am one of those people who would hate being a twin.

And ABM, you forget I am British. I am shocked this women feels the need to spread her business to the NATIONAL PRESS and not just keep some things to herself. There is a thing called acting with decorum and class and just keeping some sh'it to yourself. Call me old fashioned but sometimes I think a little of that goes a long way. I am one of those people who isn't quick to call out my faults (why would I want to?) so that they can use that against me.

There is something unattractive about blabbing your muth to every muthafucka.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 11:04 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Latina_wi,

Diff'rent strokes...
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Latina_wi
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 11:19 am:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^ True that. :-)

I can see your point. Heck, Lowri Turner just gets on my tits.
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 12:00 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Latina_wi: "...Lowri Turner just gets on my tits."


Aight. But you really outtah let a man do that, babe.

You might like it better.
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Latina_wi
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 12:01 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

^^^ LOL, you crack me up ABM!

Abd I promise, I will.
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Brownbeauty123
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 01:40 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

That baby is soo cute. I LOVE babies. It makes me want one..
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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 01:43 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

Latina,

Here's hoping you have some man on your tits sooner rather than later.


BB123,

Even one who looks Mexican?

Btw: Same thing to you I say above to Latina_wi.
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Brownbeauty123
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:09 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"BB123,

Even one who looks Mexican?"

I just loove babies, and adore all of any race; I am a sucker for fat rosey cheeks.
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:28 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"First off Kristoff St, John is FULL OF BULLSHYT!! He made a comment in Essence magazine about 12-13 yrs ago about Black women and why he refused to date them!!! It was.........

Also ABM I noticed when I was in Chicago I didn't see alot of IR couples. And when I did they were BW/WM I NEVER ONCE saw a BM/WW."



Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

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Abm
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:51 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

BB123,

I'm a sucker for "fat rosey cheeks" too.

Though I'm not referring to the type that are typically on the faces of infants.
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Brownbeauty123
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 02:52 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

You have such a dirty mind LOL
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Ntfs_encryption
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Posted on Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - 11:37 pm:   Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Ban Poster IP (Moderator/Admin only)

"I'm a sucker for "fat rosey cheeks" too.

Though I'm not referring to the type that are typically on the faces of infants."


Bro ABM-

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