| Author | Message | ||
     Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2032 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: |
http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/2007/04/and-latina-wins.html No suprises here, but I was recently on an online black forum where they were holding a heated discussion on BlackMen magazine's voting of a Latina Woman as the ‘Sexist Woman of the Year’ (Dec 2006 see image). Now this site is a very afrocentric one. You know, the ones that in respect to interracial habits of black men, insist on maintaining a deep denial of the severity of the problem, possibly because they want to continue to refuse black women the option of looking out themselves. From what I saw there, the women on that site do indeed abide by the stipulation that, ‘under no circumstances do you consider white men as a valid option’. I must say my visit was a fascinating insight into how black women who still insist on not broadening out because of ‘political commitment’, explain away or handle such issues of black male betrayal (I guess for them it is indeed a case of another day another slap in the face). It was also an insight into how these women (especially the single ones), grapple with the idea that because of the widespread ‘faithlessness’ of bm, they might just not find themselves a mate. I indeed wanted to see if these women employed the technique of ‘waiting infinitum’ which characterised denial (group A), or acknowledging the reality and managing to come to grips with it in their own way (group B). I think at first there was almost utter disbelief among the women (possibly group A women), and then some of these women did the calculation and realise that this was just consistent with the trends that were evident in general society (group B). However I think bw in denial can still allow themselves a few moments of ‘lucidity’ and let shafts of light penetrate from time to time, or they are not in denial at all, they just accept/normalise the betrayal of bm, and see it as part of the black woman’s cross to bear (true group B women). As an aside I think that bw who are impatient with their sisters who want to broaden out as a result of the dating squeeze, feel that as bw we ought to understand and sign up to this burden and ‘cope’ but still maintain the principle of ‘no outdating’. These women would give a tacit nod to single motherhood as one option left to black women and one much better than dating white. Well the bm on the site (men who profess extreme afrocentricity), recognised a need to give some sort of response. Their tactic was first to ‘down play’ the issue; to urge bw to ‘deny the evidence of their eyes’. Women were urged not to ‘blow this out of proportion’. An appeal to ‘deny evidence’ is the kind of mind game and twisting techniques that are now required to calm and ‘re-convince’ black women to keep the faith, in these times that black women who want to remain ‘true to black’ are experiencing extreme buffeting. Some men then proceeded to give all sorts of obvious 'scrapping the barrel' defence as to why the outcome was a Latina winner. One said that maybe ‘three bm huddled in room somewhere’ decided the results, another suggested that white and Latino men constitute a huge number of the readership and thus bumped up the numbers voting for the Latina woman. These two suggestions were quickly despatched with, with the recognition that previous winners had been black and that the readership is widely recognised as black men (should there even be any doubt that a magazine named BLACKMEN would have an overwhelmingly black readership). The next tactic was a tenuous link of the winner to black. Some men put forth the defence that the winner had, ‘some black genes’ and therefore was a valid choice for a black male magazine (I have seen this argument used before with Jennifer Lopez). The women quickly saw through this as black men defending their white ‘fetish’ by claiming the women for black. When there was clearly no defence some men changed tactic, some attacked black women in what I feel was their sheer frustration in their fellow black men (displacement), and others as usual decided to put the blame on black women for turning bm into what they had become. The usual, ‘blame black mothers for what their sons turn into’ was then employed. I might add that men who just owned up and said that bm were a lost bunch, got calmer response from bw, who I think know the score deep down, and would like an acknowledgement rather have bm trying to offer defence where there is none. However I think as usual the final, logical step of finally acknowledging that bw have a right to choose to escape the consequences of black males ‘unfaithfulness’ on the dating scene was skirted again. When there was no more defence left to put forward, someone suggested a ‘campaign’ against the magazine, of writing letters in to express disgust. Apparently this person was loosing sight of the fact that the magazine did not decided the winner and ultimately they have a duty to publish the results as decided on by their readership. Also the underlying and unpalatable implied meaning that BM needed to be forced or arm-twisted into preferring bw seemed to have been missed. and so the denial of the clear message being sent by black males voting of a Latina as ‘sexist woman of the year’ continued on the forum, one woman actually said that the whole thing was a ‘plot’ by white people to keep bw and bm apart. If this response wasn’t so pathetic I would have found it utterly funny but to me it said so much about not just the desperate denial some women needed to maintain, but spoke volumes about the lack of courage afflicting bw around the issue of bm and their growing rejection of bw and what to do next! Apparently in this woman’s mind, bw and bm are this very tight unit that others are trying their best to pull apart! However it wasn’t just this woman, there was a lot of displacing of anger unto white people (notice how this further locks bw out of the interracial option, keeping her proverbially between the devil and the deep blue sea ), one women said she would always hate w people for turning BM away from BW! When someone suggested arm-twisting bm into valuing bw( ie writing a letter of protest at the results), some women showed that their sense of pride was still working, by shooting down the idea for obvious reasons; which is that the battle is already lost if bm have to be ‘forced’ to see the beauty of their fellow black person of opposite gender. It was obvious from the discussion, how hurt they were that BM cant be left to their own devises to see the beauty of BW but needed to be ‘guided’ into this perspective especially by afrocentric rhetoric. One male poster said, “I'll be frank, I as a Black man don't want patronising affection. And any black woman with any sense of dignity, will likely agree.” A woman on the forum called all bw ‘hard of hearing’, but that they were finally getting the message that bm had been transmitting for ages, ‘loud and clear’, however I don’t know how much along this final acknowledgement of the truth would move women on that forum to the idea of branching out, since they seemed to have been sworn to never in anyway, ‘endorse’ irs as a valid option, (I hear that on the forum such would earn an automatic ban). Was it this rule that stopped all women posters short of suggesting out dating for bw (which is the logical next step in the face of the realisation that a huge chunk of bm are apparently lost to bw because their brains were under ‘white is right’ colonisation)? One woman raised another personal experience of arriving for an audition and watching the only latino girl out of seven black females picked for the part by a panel of four black men. The utter bankruptcy in terms of any sense of valuing of blackness, of a huge section of black males, and the inability of same men, to reflect upon the real meaning of their actions and realise the message it sends about bw, themselves and their community was then debated on for a few more pages. Unfortunately bw are indeed in the direct path and conviniently placed for BM to project their ‘rejection of blackness’ unto. Also it is apparently easy and raises no internal conflict for BM to reject the image of bw and dissociate this from any form of self-rejection (since they do this with amazing regularity). There seems to be a lack of understanding of how black men, even the most afrocentric of them can achieve this feat! Some women then went on to talk about how non-black women had now become ‘emboldened’ to step in black women’s faces and chat sh*t because of the confidence they derived from BM tearing down BW at every turn, which lead to the discussion of the link below (warning a vehement diatribe at bw follows so please prepare yourself mentally before you click!) I detest Black Women! One of the women said something very poignant on the forum when she said that she expected that bw would begin their own mass exodus from bm because ‘only fools and masochist continue to put up with such disregard’. All in all I think black women are trying very hard to hold unto their devotion but are continuously ‘wounded’ by these revelations and other BM actions. Yet BW often respond to these assaults to their esteem by becoming even more insular and grabbing unto any excuse to put off coming to terms with stark reality. It appears that BW fear the devastation that an acknowledgement might bring about more than they fear putting up with the niggling doubt and uncertainty they will be plagued with by not coming to terms with the messages of bm rejection that has been coming thick and fast over the years (I mean what other evidence does one need than the voting of a Latina Woman as Sexiest Woman 2006). But I think it will always be much worse for bw who don’t face up to what is staring them in the face. Yes acknowledging that anything from a significant to a majority of BM are just not exclusively into BW(might even prefer other if they can get them), will sting for a while but those who don’t want to face this and come out on the other side, will always have to confront the reality time and time again instead of facing up to it once and for all. | ||
| Robynmarie Regular Poster Username: Robynmarie Post Number: 488 Registered: 04-2006 Rating: |
True story: I spend lots of time traveling and talking to women's groups about this very issue. Recently, one very attractive young black lady told me, that she couldn't find a good black man. "And I have been married to THREE of them," she said serious as a heart attack. I gently told her that perhaps she should take her own inventory-FAST-and that she had more than her share of black men to last a lifetime. LOL. My question is this: why do so many black women spend so much time worried about this? There are millions of black men all around the world who love and cherish black women. Am I naieve to suggest that perhaps it is time we black women let it go? (I am as guilty as the next person, so I am not pointing fingers.) | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2033 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
"why do so many black women spend so much time worried about this? There are millions of black men all around the world who love and cherish black women. Am I naieve to suggest that perhaps it is time we black women let it go?" The younger generation of black guys seem to think differntly from my father's generation, that's for sure. And I've had many conversations with black male friends who brag about how much attention they get from non-black women, and how they seem to view them as being much nicer and supportive of them than black women. It seems the only reason they date black women is due to location and convienience. | ||
| Robynmarie Regular Poster Username: Robynmarie Post Number: 489 Registered: 04-2006 Rating: N/A |
"The younger generation of black guys seem to think differntly from my father's generation, that's for sure. And I've had many conversations with black male friends who brag about how much attention they get from non-black women, and how they seem to view them as being much nicer and supportive of them than black women. It seems the only reason they date black women is due to location and convienience." Why else do people date other than location and convenience? So what if SOME black men think Asian, whites and Latinas are nicer? It feels like we as black women are distracting ourselves with this. ( I hope I don't sound like Oprah...or Dr. Phil. LOL.) | ||
| Mzuri "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mzuri Post Number: 5155 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
Did you tell sistergirl gently, Dr. Oprah? | ||
| Robynmarie Regular Poster Username: Robynmarie Post Number: 490 Registered: 04-2006 Rating: N/A |
LOL, Mzuri. I wanted to say "girl, you done took two other womin's mens. Quit being greedy" LOL. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2341 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"why do so many black women spend so much time worried about this? There are millions of black men all around the world who love and cherish black women. Am I naieve to suggest that perhaps it is time we black women let it go?" True.............. | ||
| Serenasailor Veteran Poster Username: Serenasailor Post Number: 1676 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: |
True story: I spend lots of time traveling and talking to women's groups about this very issue. Recently, one very attractive young black lady told me, that she couldn't find a good black man. "And I have been married to THREE of them," she said serious as a heart attack. I gently told her that perhaps she should take her own inventory-FAST-and that she had more than her share of black men to last a lifetime. LOL. My question is this: why do so many black women spend so much time worried about this? There are millions of black men all around the world who love and cherish black women. Am I naieve to suggest that perhaps it is time we black women let it go? (I am as guilty as the next person, so I am not pointing fingers.) Brownbeauty123 Gold Member Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2033 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) Posted on Sunday, July 01, 2007 - 06:47 pm: I SEE THAT ANOTHER COMMON REACTION IS FOR BLACK WOMEN TO TRY DENY THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM IN THE FIRST PLACE. | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6143 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: |
...Exactly Serenasailor. And it’s not as much about losing Black men as it is about them de-valuing BW and feeding a racist perception. It’s that consciously and unconsciously, purposely and unintentionally, Black men are legitimizing long held racist beliefs about Black women. "If their own men don’t want them, what we think of them must be true." Of course it’s not, just like many of the stereotypes about Black men aren’t true, but each time a Black man, esp. a successful Black man, is seen with a non-black woman, he legitimizes those long held racist perceptions of Black women; and that’s what it’s all about. | ||
| Robynmarie Regular Poster Username: Robynmarie Post Number: 491 Registered: 04-2006 Rating: |
But how is complaining about this going to change things? How is whining going to "hold our black communities together?" Interracial relationships are a part of life, deal with it. Should we teach our young black boys to date/marry only black women? Should we teach our young women to love and value themselves? The "pity pot" keeps black women trapped in the victim mentality and making someone else responsible for our healthy and happiness. It's formula for a lonely life, IMO. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2034 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
How is it a formula for a lonely life? | ||
| Chrishayden AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Chrishayden Post Number: 4808 Registered: 03-2004 Rating: N/A |
Let's face it. Most people--black, white or polka dot--don't deserve anyone good. Why should they have somebody good so they can screw up their life? They are getting what they deserve. America is populated with theives and whores--male and female. Deal with it. | ||
| Serenasailor Veteran Poster Username: Serenasailor Post Number: 1679 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: |
NO Robynmarie we should teach our Black sons to love themselves, who they are, and were they come from. Which is something that we are not doing. Ppl like you want us to believe that Black mens partner choosing habits have nothing to do with there self-esteem. When it is plain as the "nose on your face" that it does. Like the article said "Black men are a LOST group". Are we just to let them keep wondering around?? Or are we going to guide them? BUT ONE THING I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT DENIAL IS NOT THE WAY TO HANDLE THE SITUATION!!! 70% of young Black men in this country are growing up without a father. That means that many of these young Black men have never seen Black men and women loving eachother. That also means you have to be there mother and there father!! The only reason why these Black men are upholding long held racist beliefs is because they see themselves as such. They believe all the hatred and negativity about themselves that society has "heaped upon them". | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6150 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: |
Robynmarie, "Should we teach our young women to love and value themselves?" You can't learn somebody something that you haven't learned yourself. (Not you personally.) Honestly, I don't Blame Black women for being pitiful. Look at the women that came before them: Nappy/straight haired, weak and pitiful. Look at them now: ...Blond/straight haired, weak and pitiful. But there's another side to this so-called "pity pot" trend. It's anger and rage. Which will translate into action like it always does. Give them time. | ||
| Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique Post Number: 9147 Registered: 01-2004 Rating: |
Black women should just get with it. When faced with a choice of being fish out of water, go with the flow of the mainstream and leave martydom to others who sacrifice their lives to lonliness on a matter of principle. | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2035 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
What are you really saying?? | ||
| Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted Post Number: 923 Registered: 11-2005 Rating: N/A |
Shes saying "expand your options". | ||
| Nels Veteran Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 857 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
Brownbeauty123 -- Re: Your original post... An informative perspective, or a vengeful diatribe? Obviously, there are plenty of "foine" black (or whatever you want to call them) women out there, but your angle might signal to some that you may not be one of them. Aaargh! === Rosalyn Sanchez, Salma Hayek, Eva Longoria...etc., etc, etc. Fine honeys, any way you cut it. And yes, the Latinas "win" again. | ||
| Serenasailor Veteran Poster Username: Serenasailor Post Number: 1681 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: |
Obviously, there are plenty of "foine" black (or whatever you want to call them) women out there, but your angle might signal to some that you may not be one of them. Aaargh! === Rosalyn Sanchez, Salma Hayek, Eva Longoria...etc., etc, etc. Fine honeys, any way you cut it. And yes, the Latinas "win" again. MORE RACIST DIATRIBE FROM A SELF-PITYING, SELF LOATHING BLACK MAN. Notice he doesn't even know what to call Black women!!! And just like the sell-out, wanna-be Neo-Nazi he is. He makes unjustified, and unfounded ASSumptions about Tonya's looks based on the fact that she is a BLACK woman. Then he EXPANDS his vehement diatribe of hatred against Black women(and devotion to his White slavemaster) by making a "toast" to all the so-called beautiful non-Black women. AGAIN BLACK PPL THIS IS WHAT WE RAISED!! | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2036 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: |
"Brownbeauty123 -- Re: Your original post... An informative perspective, or a vengeful diatribe? Obviously, there are plenty of "foine" black (or whatever you want to call them) women out there, but your angle might signal to some that you may not be one of them. Aaargh!" My original post was a article posted on someone's blog. I did not write it at all, dumbas/s. I have a man, and I don't have any trouble attracting other men as well. | ||
| Misty Veteran Poster Username: Misty Post Number: 977 Registered: 02-2006 Rating: |
Black women should just get with it. When faced with a choice of being fish out of water, go with the flow of the mainstream and leave martydom to others who sacrifice their lives to lonliness on a matter of principle. exactly...i seriously dont get some of these women.....there are all kinds of excuses that could probably be set forth to explain their mentality but in the end the only valid explanation that i can come up with to describe why they think the way they do is "just plain stupid...." i know quite a few black women (some in my family) who have been persued by non-black men but they turn simply because they're not black....you will hear these same women runing themselves crazy every time they hear of a black athelete, actor, etc. getting married to a non-black woman. My ex best friend use to be this way too. There was this cute mexican guy who was her drommates friend and he was crazy about her but her exact words to me were 'i just can't see myself with a mexican." when me and my ex were togather and some of my black female aquaintances and friends found out that he was white i use to get all kinds of questions from them "you couldnt find any black men here on campus?" "there's all kinds of cute black men here on campus why don't you get you one of them?" then i would get comments like "well these niggas here are full of shit so i can probably see why"...they just couldnt understand that black men had absolutely no bearing on why i was with him. | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6154 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
Well, it looks like SOME Sistahs are getting it Loving Zane’s new book/cover   Caramel Flava: The Eroticanoir.com Anthology Availability: In Stock. Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available. Editorial Reviews Review "A legend among her fellow authors as far as erotic literary fiction goes." -- Today's Black Woman Book Description Zane, the queen of erotic fiction and publisher of Strebor Books, an imprint of Atria Books/Simon & Schuster, presents the second in a series of collections of great erotic fiction. Based on the Featured Erotica section of her website, Eroticanoir.com, which gets more than three million hits a year from around the world, these sensual tales, handpicked by Zane, are sure to please her fans. These stories are written specifically with both African-American and Latino readers in mind, but they are for all people because as Zane always states: "Sensuality is universal." Among the contributors are names already familiar to readers of erotica, such as Tracee A. Hanna, Teresa Lamai, Michelle De Leon, Naleighna Kai, William Fredrick Cooper, and, of course, Zane -- as well as emerging voices, such as Pat Tucker, James W. Lewis, and Nikki Sinclair. Zane always selects stories that turn her on, and she guarantees they will turn you on, also. These storytellers take risks. The stories are unique and creative. The contributors to this book are great at what they do -- making readers hot. No importa el color de su piel, la pasión es universal. To all the lovers in the world. No matter what your skin color, passion is universal. | ||
| Moonsigns Veteran Poster Username: Moonsigns Post Number: 1985 Registered: 07-2004 Rating: |
"To all the lovers in the world. No matter what your skin color, passion is universal." Moonsigns: That's what I'm talking about!!!! | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2347 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"To all the lovers in the world. No matter what your skin color, passion is universal." Excellent point.... | ||
| Nels Veteran Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 859 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
Serenasailor -- "MORE RACIST DIATRIBE" The left cheek, or the right? | ||
| Serenasailor Veteran Poster Username: Serenasailor Post Number: 1685 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: |
Serenasailor -- "MORE RACIST DIATRIBE" The left cheek, or the right? AS FAR AS WHICH ONE YOU CAN KISS??? ACTUALLY NELS YOU CAN KISS BOTH MY ASSCHEEKS!!! | ||
| Nels Veteran Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 860 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: N/A |
Serenasailor -- "AS FAR AS WHICH ONE YOU CAN KISS???" A predictable response. When you finally emerge from the funk of your self-disgust, just take stock in your trivial existence and enjoy the roses. So sad, indeed. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 9417 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: |
Pardon my appearing somewhat insensitive to much of the pro-sistagurl spiel here. But, honestly, when I saw the cover of the Black Men's magazine the very FIRST thought that appeared to the mind of this Black MALE is "If THAT is suppose to be fionest chick they could come up with I demand a recount!!!" I mean, if you're going to have the cajones to select a non-Black woman as the "Sexist Woman of the Year" shouldn't you at least have the decency to make sure that chick was SLAMMIN'? Hell. I went to high school with latin chicks who looked better than HER. | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 9418 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
BB123, Look. If a sista wants to date a White guy, she should date'em. She don't need NOBODY permission, acquiesence or approval but her own. But the notion of creating a website and posting anti-brutha articles dedicated to such an endeavor is a pathetically unfortunate waste of one's time and creativity. | ||
| Renata AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Renata Post Number: 2372 Registered: 08-2005 Rating: N/A |
I wouldn't even take this magazine seriously. I was standing in a convenience store one day and saw this magazine with BLACK MEN written across the top and the cover had three blonde white women on it. A while later (I don't know how much time had passed), I saw this same magazine with two latinas and a blonde on the cover. Can you imagine what it would say about what black women really want, if Brad Pitt and Takeshi Kaneshiro lookalikes were the staple cover models for Essence? HELLO? They're not going to vote for a black woman for sexiest woman of the year at Black Men magazine. Just to look at their cover should tell you who they're interested in. | ||
| Renata AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Renata Post Number: 2373 Registered: 08-2005 Rating: N/A |
LOL....ABM, I really think this lady started this website MORE to advertise her book than anything. | ||
| Nafisa_goma Regular Poster Username: Nafisa_goma Post Number: 190 Registered: 01-2006 Rating: N/A |
http://www.bongorama.com/books/2007/06/no-name-in-street-by-kola-boof.html | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2351 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"Black women should just get with it. When faced with a choice of being fish out of water, go with the flow of the mainstream and leave martydom to others who sacrifice their lives to lonliness on a matter of principle." Absolutely! On the money Ms. Cyniuqe. Some black women are very pro active, driven and trailblazing with their ambitions and professional accomplishments. But unfortunately, you have a depressing number who are addicted to whining, finger pointing, bitching, belly aching and extolling the virtues of victim-hood for the disastrous consequences of their poor decision making. They never pass up the opportunity to arrogantly spew their bitter vindictive rants and accusations against black men. Then they spend an equal amount of time scratching their heads and wondering out loud why no one wants them.... | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2352 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"Look. If a sista wants to date a White guy, she should date'em." I agree. A black woman should date and only consider relationships with men (regardless of their race) who will treat them well. Why continue to be involved with men (regardless of their race) who treat you poorly? Makes no sense to me. "She don't need NOBODY permission, acquiesence or approval but her own." Ya got that right! Yet there are race baiters who will attempt to tell you otherwise. "But the notion of creating a website and posting anti-brutha articles dedicated to such an endeavor is a pathetically unfortunate waste of one's time and creativity." Bro, what else are these dejected embittered Negresses going to do? The only thing they can do is commiserate with one another by exchanging the pathetic he done me wrong song stories while sticking their lips out in indignation and anger at anyone who calls their self defeating negatively and black male hostility out. What they do not realize is they are playing a game they cannot win. You know what they say; Ya catch more bees with honey than vinegar. E'nuff said..... | ||
| Brownbeauty123 AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Brownbeauty123 Post Number: 2040 Registered: 03-2006 Rating: N/A |
Ntfs, you refer to black women as "negresses"..who uses that term in 2007?? I find it rather offensive. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2355 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"you refer to black women as "negresses"..who uses that term in 2007?? I find it rather offensive." BB123, don't be. I only use the term when referring to black women who have made a science out of unfairly demonizing black men at every opportunity, whining and blaming everyone but themselves for their chaotic failed lives. The term does not apply to everyday hard working black women who are responsible, motivated, independent, self sustaining and doing the best they can for themselves and their families. Two different groups. It's just like calling a thug a thug and a knucklehead a knucklehead for their anti-social and criminal behavior. That's all. Don't take it personal. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2356 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"Can you imagine what it would say about what black women really want, if Brad Pitt and Takeshi Kaneshiro lookalikes were the staple cover models for Essence?" I have no problems with it. I believe the market dictates what consumers want. Not saying I necessary agree with it but it is a market driven economy. If such a magazine appealed to black women, why would I care? It's for black women -not me. "HELLO? They're not going to vote for a black woman for sexiest woman of the year at Black Men magazine. Just to look at their cover should tell you who they're interested in." That's not true Renata. Most black girlie magazines feature and extol black women. One of the first black girlie magazines was called "Players Magazine". It was all about black women. But that was in the 70's. Nowadays, magazines feature a variety of women based on the interest of the readers and the emergence of cultural cross pollination. That's just the way it is. I have no idea way anyone would get upset over this. It's a reflection of the times we live in. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2357 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"AS FAR AS WHICH ONE YOU CAN KISS??? ACTUALLY NELS YOU CAN KISS BOTH MY ASSCHEEKS!!!" Oh Lord!! I know you would love that...!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! | ||
| Nels Veteran Poster Username: Nels Post Number: 861 Registered: 07-2005 Rating: |
"Oh Lord!! I know you would love that...!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!" | ||
| Latina_wi Regular Poster Username: Latina_wi Post Number: 394 Registered: 08-2006 Rating: N/A |
I alweays thought Black american were very appreciative of Black american women; isn't it only a very small minority of the black american community who interracially marry and even date....? Maybe they just chose this woman because she was fine and not because she is Latina; look at previous winner's of the 'honour' LOL. Maybe we are looking too deeply here. If the mainstream media (mostly white where I am)\ is allowed tyo be appreciative and admire different variants of beauty why the heck can't Black people. | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6169 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
LOLOLOL, look at Pops try‘na be misogynistic and shit! ROTFLMBAO. Lawd ham mercy, Goddamn. You oughtta drop yourself an album Nfts. Boy, I'd love to see that one!! We’ll call it grouchy old crabby old grumpy old men and you and your crew will be called Curtis Flow & the Sugar Hillbilly Gang! ROTFLMBAO!! How 'bout it bro? Go Curtis! Go Curtis! Go, go! Go Curtis! | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6170 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
But seriously tho...I don't think Black women (or any woman) should be defined by ANY man...whether it's Jay-z or it's Curtis Flow & the Sugar Hillbilly Gang, Black women should be defining themselves. | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2369 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"LOLOLOL, look at Pops try‘na be misogynistic and shit! ROTFLMBAO. Lawd ham mercy, Goddamn. You oughtta drop yourself an album Nfts. Boy, I'd love to see that one!! We’ll call it grouchy old crabby old grumpy old men and you and your crew will be called Curtis Flow & the Sugar Hillbilly Gang!" Ummmm....well, not sure what your vacuous dig was about Pancake. I just stated what I believe. And if you would have taken the time to read (which you didn't), you would have seen the poster (who is female) was in agreement with what I said. So, where were the misogynistic comments? | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6172 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
Okay, I just read it and I STILL don't see where Brownbeauty agreed with your usage of the word "negresses." Which is even more misogynistic than "b*tch" "Chicken head" or "Hood Rat." Though I must admit...it's hilarious coming from you, Grand Master Flash. LOL!! | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 9421 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: |
Ntfs, Isn't "negresses" what White slavemasters called hapless Black women just as they were about to rape them? | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6173 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
Okay, I just read it and I STILL don't see where Brownbeauty agreed with your usage of the word "negresses." Which is even more misogynistic than "b*tch" "Chicken head" "ho" or "Hood Rat." Tho I must admit...it's hilarious coming from you, Grand Master Flash. LOL!! | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6174 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
"Isn't "negresses" what White slavemasters called hapless Black women just as they were about to rape them?" Thank you Abm. That's why revised my post to include the word "ho." | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 2129 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Re: "negress," I found this interesting: http://store.uppitynegro.com/ntote.html | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2377 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"Isn't "negresses" what White slavemasters called hapless Black women just as they were about to rape them?" Naw. I doubt it. They were probably calling them the other "n" word. You know, the one that is celebrated and used in an unthinking cavalier manner every day by Negroes. | ||
| Tonya "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Tonya Post Number: 6179 Registered: 07-2006 Rating: N/A |
I bet there's a badassbytch.com too....Sad. But it's MUCH WORSE coming from those who try to PREACH and CLAIM to know better. Tsk-tsk. | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 2131 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Yes, Tonya. Generally I am suspicious of the whole "taking-on-a-slur-to-remove-its-power" thing. Hence my continuing dislike of the n-word, even though I totally understand folks' arguments for its use by Blacks. | ||
| A_womon Veteran Poster Username: A_womon Post Number: 1685 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Yvettep, So do you think that it is wrong for a writer to use the word in dialogue? For me, replacing the word with something else just doesn't ring true. A writer is a record keeper. So when someone reads about our time 20 years from now, should they read something that reflects the truth or a white washed version of the truth? I'd really love to hear your take on this. Should everyone think like EBONY magazine and try to ban the word from the public? | ||
| A_womon Veteran Poster Username: A_womon Post Number: 1686 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
NTFS, I'd be interested on your take on this as well, if you don't mind...hold up..no...no... wait a minute...TIME OUT! put that paddle down... HAHAHAHHAHAHA! | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 2132 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hi, A_woman. I was talking more of the use of the n-word in conversations among Blacks--especially the thinking that preemptively calling yourself and your friends that word, you are taking away its power to harm. I think in writing there is use that could be said to reflect "reality" and use that is clearly gratuitous. As far as truth, I believe there are multiple "truths"--so surely there are at least some truths that reflect "The Black Experience" without the n-word on every page. | ||
| A_womon Veteran Poster Username: A_womon Post Number: 1687 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
Thanks Yvette. Yes I agree that not everyone is used to using the N word in a casual way and so there are definitely other truths. I don't know I guess each writer has to take into consideration their audience, the time and setting of the story, the characters, etc. I just don't want to get stuck on wondering if I'm adding to this atmosphere of desensitzing people. If I think about this too hard, it's going to throw me into a serious case of writer's block! Thanks for the feedback! I appreciate it. | ||
| A_womon Veteran Poster Username: A_womon Post Number: 1688 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
This all reminds me of a book I read awhile ago, I think it was by Bebe Moore Campbell, but I'm not sure. The title was "Your Blues Ain't Like Mine" or something like that. Because each person's reality is different... | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 9433 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: N/A |
I reserve the right to say 'niggar' whenever the hell I want to. | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 2135 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM, I guess we all have to decide which "rights" we'll stand up for, eh? LOL I know only a couple other commenters on these boards agrees with me so I'll not get into this discussion. All I can say is--you have the perogative to say the n-word to your heart's content, and I have the perogative to be dismayed by it. As Cynique (and others) would say: And so it goes... LOL! | ||
| Yvettep AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Yvettep Post Number: 2136 Registered: 01-2005 Rating: N/A |
Hey, ABM--I recently shook Sen. Obama's hand at a rally. You know what I told him? "Run, Barack, run!" LOL! | ||
| Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm Post Number: 9445 Registered: 04-2004 Rating: |
Yvettep, I have NO problem with you and other Black foks being dismayed by my using the niggar. Hell. I wager there's LOTS of shyt I've said and done that pisses off other Black foks. What did Obama say: "What you think I'm doing, niggar?"? HAHAHAHAHA!!! | ||
| Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption Post Number: 2382 Registered: 10-2005 Rating: N/A |
"NTFS, I'd be interested on your take on this as well, if you don't mind...hold up..no...no... wait a minute...TIME OUT! put that paddle down..." No problem Ms. A_womon... I'm rebuilding my network...Ill get right back to ya....gimme 24 hours... | ||
| A_womon Veteran Poster Username: A_womon Post Number: 1702 Registered: 05-2004 Rating: N/A |
OK NT, did you mean 24 hours as in the rotation of the earth on its axis, or 24 hours as in the TV SHOW where 24 hours equals an entire season? HMMMMMMMMM? |
