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Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 1477 Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:22 am: |
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African Men And The Culture Of Many Women By Michael Ewetuga "Whiteness is the pride of the teeth and stability is the pride of the neck. Full breasts are the pride of women". King Sunny Ade, the one and only undisputed king of Juju Music. I have been asked series of questions since I landed in this country in the winter of 2003, some of which prompted some of my writings, but there are some questions that seem to be of interest to Americans, white, blacks, Latinos, Chinese, etc., men and women alike and those questions are: Is it True that the most beautiful women are in Africa? I was told, and I never read it anywhere, that Jimmy Fox made this assertion. Ludacris, in his song, in which he claimed to have traveled the world, when questioned in that song as to where the best women are said "ain't no need even asking Bro, the best women all reside in Africa and that's real" The second question, I'm sure some of us must have encountered is "is it true that in Africa you could have more than one wife?" and it comes with a smaller question, "is it true that Africans like women even when they are married, engaged or dating" Now let me take the first question first. The best woman is something that I think is subjective unless you're talking about looks, which to me is an issue but not the most important issue. Here in the States, there seems to be high demand for slim women, I took it upon myself to look at most slim women I see and as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow, often than not, when you check the marriage finger, as I like to call it, you're most likely going to find rings well seated on their fingers. As a result, most women skip meals just to be or stay in the marriage market. One man's food, as a matter of fact, is another's poison. You check the fingers of some "thick" women, as they like to be called and you see rings too. There are lots of slim women in Africa, or should I say in Nigeria where I hailed from and of course there are "thick" women, but the reverse seems to be the case. The "thick" women, unless the trend has changed, tend to get rings before their slim counterparts. However, don't take my words for it since I did not carry out any survey to tell you categorically that "thick" women get the rings first. Personally, I have dated both slim and "thick" women and to tell you the truth I find the thick women attractive and sexy, especially when they come with that well rounded African backside and lots of breasts to fondle. Who doesn't like good things? Those are the real deal to me and when I was growing up, in my twenties in Nigeria, it seemed to be the preference of my friends too. There was a friend of mine who used to live in England but moved to Nigeria because he's the first child and son, that's a big deal in Nigeria. Naturally his mom wanted him around. He would look at a woman with abundant breasts and go "damn men, just look at those knockers!!" guess what, you guessed it, he got married to one. I was supposed to be his best man but that was a trying period for me, I couldn't afford it so he asked me to speak at the reception instead. I said good things about him but then I told my audience that I needed to share a private joke with my friend so I moved close to him, microphone out of the way, I bent down and whispered in his ears "stay away from knockers now that you got a beautiful pair for yourself to sleep and wake up on everyday" he doubled over laughing and I know the audience would have given anything to hear what it was I told him that made him laugh that hard. If you were a member of the audience that day, now you know. He later told me that the best sight is not when you wake up and you see trees and the beaches, according to him, the best sight is waking up and two knockers stare at you. Hum, I sure agree with that one. But since knockers alone do not make a woman, I might disagree, one needs more than knockers for a good wife. Ok, maybe the knockers are not too great, but let's say they are great and after staring you in the face your wife got up, in a very nice sexy white gown and made for the kitchen and you are faced again with that very round, nice African butt. Needless to say, if it is weekend, you probably would be home buddy that day and if it isn't weekend, both of you might have to reach for the phone, call your jobs and take that day off because there would be operation desert storm that morning and the war is likely to go on throughout the day. My friends, when we were not of marriageable age, would whistle quite loudly, whenever a woman passed by with these qualities and maybe not so loud if it's just one of the qualities that are present. Women that are sure to get a second glance would be those with both or one of these qualities. When I was young I particularly liked nurses with these qualities. Whenever I saw them in their white uniform going about their duties in the hospitals I looked from one to the other, feeding my eyes with the goodies God blessed thick women with. They were the only good thing about going to the hospitals. In conclusion as to the first question, I will say the best woman is the one endowed with the qualities you require to take that giant step and ask for her hands in marriage. So when next you see a MRS. Ewetuga, she might not have both qualities but believe me, she would have one, at least. As to the second question, there is more than one law guiding the institution of marriage in Nigeria. There is: The customary marriage, which encompasses Traditional, Islamic as well as Christian marriages. The Traditional marriage has some characteristics of what is known and referred to as common law marriage. If you have a girlfriend and you got her pregnant, whether or not she lives with you, in Yoruba Traditional belief, she's your wife hence the saying that a woman who bore your child is not in the same class as your concubine. If she continues to live with you then of course she's your wife. This type of marriage does not have priority over legal marriage and we shall come to that later. However, if you perform some marriage rites such as paying dowry and all other incidental ceremony that goes with it and the traditional marriage took place first then it does take priority over legal marriage, which would become an aberration because it can no longer be regarded as legal. according to the law, you can only perform legal wedding with the woman that you married traditionally any other purported marriage with another party other than the one you got married to traditionally leaves you open for prosecution under the bigamy law, which has just 4 cases, (not sure of this number, since it was legislated). So the common law marriage is only effective as long as the man or woman does not jettison it and get married under the marriage Act. Under traditional marriage, the man is entitled, at his option to more than one wife, he may choose not to exercise that option and continue to be married to just that one wife. The Islamic marriage is governed by the Islamic religion via the Quran. I am not a Muslim and so cannot tell you the provision of that religion with regard to marriage. There are conflicting assertions with regard to this marriage. While some school of thought contended that you are entitled to four wives another school of thought claim that you can have as many wives as you desire provided that you can love them equally. This type of marriage, if it was celebrated first, also takes precedence over legal marriage. The Christian marriage could be both legal and religious. It is legal if the church where it was celebrated was licensed by the local government; it is religious if the church is not so licensed. The marriage would still be recognized except that divorce cases will go to the customary court instead of the State High Court which has original jurisdiction over marriages under the Act. The Christian marriage does not leave room for a subsequent marriage; the religious part of it takes priority over the legal marriage if it was performed first. That is the situation in Nigeria; I am not conversant with marriage practices in other African countries and so cannot speak for them. The other arm of the question does not apply solely to African men. I know American men who, despite being married, admire other women and some of them do date other women outside marriage. So that is not an African thing. That is a man thing.
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Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1680 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:55 am: |
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I once (YEARS ago) had a friend who was a co-wife with one other woman. They were Somali and I was volunteering for a refugee organizing. They all 3 lived together. He worked, they didn't (one wanted to but couldn't find a job where she could dress as she wanted, the other had two kids and wouldn't work). According to them, a Somali man can have only four wives, but he must be able to privide for them and any children completely himself with no help from welfare. he said the only thing worse than a murderer is a man who won't feed his own wives and children. He only had 2 wive because that's all he could afford. Unfutunately for balck americna families, they'vegotten two cultures mixed and won't follow just one comjpletely. They want a lot of women and children(like Africans), but they want to only proivde for just the one they have in marriage (like Europeans). Jmho |
Misty Veteran Poster Username: Misty
Post Number: 604 Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 09:50 am: |
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hmmmi never thought of it that way renata....interesting |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7548 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 10:03 am: |
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Renata, First: This contradictory phenomenon you describe is NOT unique to BLACK men. Second: Even those American men who could easily provide for more than 1 wife is legally prohibited from such. Hell. I'll bet, assuming they could reasonably protect themselves, there are a few rich guys who wouldn't mind supporting a few wives. Lastly: If your husband was willing and capable of providing for more than one wife, would YOU be willing to SHARE him with other women? |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7549 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 10:48 am: |
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Ntfs: "Is it True that the most beautiful women are in Africa? I was told, and I never read it anywhere, that Jimmy Fox made this assertion. Ludacris, in his song, in which he claimed to have traveled the world, when questioned in that song as to where the best women are said "ain't no need even asking Bro, the best women all reside in Africa and that's real"" Does he mean Jimmy Fox or Jaime Foxx? And I wonder whether this is what those brothas actually think. Or is it some contrived pro-Black beauty thing. |
Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 578 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:15 am: |
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He meant Jaime Foxx but it was Will Smith who said it while he was in the Congo making Muhammad Ali life story. You know they dont think that
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Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 579 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:17 am: |
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OK Ludacris probably does think so because he love the blacker woman but hes so light skinned is why this whole article reminded me ofyour Queen Kola Abm and her naked breasts and cowifes and all. I dont put it down because after I came from visiting Africa they have their own world.
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Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 580 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:21 am: |
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In France its part of their culture for Frenchmen to have a wife and a mistress and this is well known and those men are all white even the French courts provide for a man's "mistress" and her children and its acceptable. |
Misty Veteran Poster Username: Misty
Post Number: 606 Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:22 am: |
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true enchanted spain also |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7553 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: Votes: 1 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:26 am: |
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Enchanted, I don't believe most African American men HONESTLY find African women to be the world's most beautiful females. I think part of us are deeply drawn to the purity of their Blackness and our (probably faulty) notions of what sure symbolizes (some of which manifest in how many of Kola's male admirers feel about her). But our experiences and our perspectives of beauty are much more complex and convoluted. |
Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 582 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:30 am: |
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Abm I alredy wrote: He meant Jaime Foxx but it was Will Smith who said it while he was in the Congo making Muhammad Ali life story. You know they dont think that SO WHY YOU POST THE LAST STUFF?
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Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 583 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:30 am: |
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I said You know they DONT think that
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Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 584 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: Votes: 1 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:32 am: |
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I believe Ludacris does think it though because I saw that video and I saw several interviews with him but then hes so yellow and wears that big afro hes trying to get his blackness back as a lot of yellow men worship blacker women preferrably from the motherland they feel it gives credibiity.
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Tonya AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3927 Registered: 07-2006
Rating: Votes: 2 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:49 am: |
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The difference between "The Man" and other men is The Man doesn't publicize it, thus he rules women by keeping them stupid, therefore he rules the world. Simple strategy but somehow it doesn’t sink in. Perhaps that’s a good thing.... ...If you're barely surviving because of one ruler.. who needs more? |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7554 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:50 am: |
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Enchanted, Was expounding upon what I think and WHY I think such. |
Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1682 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:52 am: |
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I wouldn't like it, abm, but I'd respect him MUCH LESS if he were popping up brats around town with no way to provide for him. If he had a lot of women and provided for them (and they knew about each other ane he wasn't lying and telling all of them they were the only), I wouldn't be married to him, but I'd respect him and we'd probably even remain friends. |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7555 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:56 am: |
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Renata, I'm sure your husband would appreciate your respect. Though he'd probably appreciate it a lot MORE if it came with his being able to have those other wives. |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7556 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 11:58 am: |
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Enchanted, I think Oprah would debate your assertions of what Ludacris thinks of Black beauty. |
Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 590 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 12:24 pm: |
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Oprah? What about those dark chocolate beauties hes always got hanging off his arm and baby mamas just because somebody not like Oprah's looks means what?
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Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6576 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 01:13 pm: |
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Men gravitate to whatever type of woman that appeals to them and obviously their tastes vary. Nobody ever talks about women having more than one husband. Diversity has its advantages and variety the spice of life. "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." |
Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 1483 Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:08 pm: |
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"And I wonder whether this is what those brothas actually think. Or is it some contrived pro-Black beauty thing." I don't know. Since I have absolutely no interest nor do I follow anything that imminates from rapppers, I couldn't confirm nor deny anything about Ludacris. I don't support black buffoonery and thuggish minstrelsy. But I can confirm that Northern African women (Eritrea, Somalia and Ethiopia) are the best looking as a group. No question about it.....and no exceptions!! |
Ntfs_encryption "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 1484 Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:10 pm: |
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"Men gravitate to whatever type of woman that appeals to them and obviously their tastes vary." End of subject..!!! Thank you Ms.Cynique. |
Moonsigns Veteran Poster Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1681 Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:13 pm: |
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Yeah. I'm just not into that "co-wife" shyt. I don't share. And there is no way I'd ever want more than one husband --I'm in the kitchen and bedroom enough as it is! LMAO!
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Yvettep Veteran Poster Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1545 Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:25 pm: |
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Can't speak for your duties in the kitchen, Moonsigns, but if your childbearing productivity is any indication I have to believe you about the bedroom! LOL (Hope your newest little one is doing well, btw!) |
Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1687 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:31 pm: |
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I love Ludacris. He's not just some buffoon. He's a great role model in Atlanta and helps children's causes. Every year he has a party for underpriviledged children and pays for their school supplies. He also paid all of the rent and utilities for a lot of Katrina families when they came here (for six months only, but that's better than nothing). And all of this in the neighborhood where he grew up and still lives near. |
Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1688 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:32 pm: |
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He does a whole lot more than that dope Usher who just gets into the news when he has a new car he's been seen cruising in. (with CURTAINS on the windows, mind you). LOL |
Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1689 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:34 pm: |
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North Africa is Libya, Egypt, Algeria, and Morocco. |
Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1690 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:36 pm: |
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Enchanted, you must be really dark skinned if you think Ludacris is yellow. Here in the south, he's medium brown. |
Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7570 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:47 pm: |
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Ntfs: "But I can confirm that Northern African women (Eritrea, Somalia and Ethiopia) are the best looking as a group." To be (Fox) fair & balanced, you can really only confirm that YOU find "Northern African women (Eritrea, Somalia and Ethiopia)" to be "the best looking as a group." I, however, find a lot of them to be rather funny-looking. |
Moonsigns Veteran Poster Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1683 Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:48 pm: |
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Yvettep --How are you?! I hope all is well and your girls are happy and healthy! And, as you can imagine, the family is keeping me busy --the baby is doing beautifully! We adore her! |
Lola_ogunnaike Regular Poster Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 413 Registered: 10-2006
Rating: Votes: 1 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:19 pm: |
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Enchanted, you must be really dark skinned if you think Ludacris is yellow. Here in the south, he's medium brown I'd say he is light-to-medium brown. He's not high yella though. To be (Fox) fair & balanced, you can really only confirm that YOU find "Northern African women (Eritrea, Somalia and Ethiopia)" to be "the best looking as a group." I, however, find a lot of them to be rather funny-looking Agreed. I'd HATE to be a Somali or Eritrean or Ethiopian. For the most part they look like pigeons and they have funny looking features and usually puny bodies. No thank you. Fools only think they're beautiful because they tend to have more Caucasion looking features than West, Central and Southern Africans
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Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7580 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:36 pm: |
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Lola, Well. I doubt I would have drawn an analogy to pigeons. But, like you, I'm not especially astounded by the beauty of people from that region of the world. |
Lola_ogunnaike Regular Poster Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 416 Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:49 pm: |
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Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7584 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 04:01 pm: |
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Lola, Hahahahaha!!! No comment! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! |
Lola_ogunnaike Regular Poster Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 421 Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 04:06 pm: |
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Lola, Hahahahaha!!! No comment! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Hehehe |
Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 602 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 05:44 pm: |
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I believe people like the blacks who are mixed looking so they like the "EAST" African look but I have been to Africa many times and find the ones who look like Black Americans to be teh most attractive and that was in Kenya and South Africa. I love the women look in Senegal is very unexplainable. Nigerian people are beautiful you notice no less than 3 top models and MISS WORLD came from Nigeria but the Nigerians are not very nice and they are shady. Ghana has beauty if you love black looks they are very goodlooking.
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Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1693 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 07:32 pm: |
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Nigeria, Pakistan, and Bangladesh are considered the two most corrupt nations in the world. My husband's lawyer (an African guy) has told us that he would defend anyone in court except Nigerians and Pakistanis. He said he'd always have a feeling that they MUST be guilty. |
Renata Veteran Poster Username: Renata
Post Number: 1695 Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 07:54 pm: |
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Sorry...three countries. |
Enchanted Veteran Poster Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 613 Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 08:25 pm: |
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Renata Nigeria is the only country in Africa I visited that I couldn't wait to get out! They have a rich country compared to the others and they are SUPER SLICK
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Dahomeyahosi Regular Poster Username: Dahomeyahosi
Post Number: 129 Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 09:20 pm: |
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I agree that dating women outside of marriage is a man thing but it is also still very common in parts of Asia and every part of Africa I know of to have more than one legal wife. Polygamy is one of the reasons why many Africans who no longer adhere solely to traditional spirituality chose to convert to Islam rather than Christianity. Christianity lets you keep drinking alcohol but it only allows for one wife. From my personal experience most Beninese men I know who have children are financially responsible for them. |
Tropical_storm Regular Poster Username: Tropical_storm
Post Number: 73 Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 04:00 pm: |
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Enchanted, I don't believe most African American men HONESTLY find African women to be the world's most beautiful females. ********************************************** Actually, from my observation, I’ve found that many Black men view East African women to be EXTREMELY beautiful, far more beautiful than Black women. What I’ve always found interesting but not surprising about that is that these women are the African women who look the LEAST like Blacks. It seems that while your vision of African women is of the more “negroid” variety, the Black men who are making these claims are envisioning NON-negro African women. Or maybe not. As far as Kenyans, I think that they have the most beautiful eyes, however I don’t think that either they or South Africans look like Blacks.
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Abm "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Abm
Post Number: 7819 Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Saturday, January 13, 2007 - 04:11 pm: |
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Tropical_storm, I agree we should probably be SPECIFIC about what constitutes Black and African beauty. The type of Black features and/or region of Africa are relevant criteria. |