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Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 543
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 02:51 pm: | 
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A black man wrote this article so it shows that we have ownderufl black men.
Whatever happened to sista love?
The choice of partners by black British males reflects a corrosive lack of self-respect and is rooted in slavery
Steve Pope
Friday March 11, 2005
The Guardian
Sol Campbell, Thierry Henry, Kofi Annan, Trevor McDonald, Frank Bruno, David Lammy MP. Why is it that prominent black men so often choose white partners?
Some will balk at the question - and of course, who a person finds attractive is entirely a matter for them. But while that is true on an individual basis, when you look at the bigger picture the question is valid: for while most men choose a partner of the same race or cultural background, black men are much more likely to marry a different-race partner, and in most cases a white one.
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According to the most recent National Survey of Ethnic Minorities, half of Caribbean-origin men had a white partner, and 40% of Caribbean origin children had one white parent. In contrast, 80% of Asian men had same-race partners. "For most of us, the mixing of races is the inevitable result of socialising in big cities," says the writer Sophie Radice. True. In fact, white female fascination with black men, and vice versa, is as old as slavery and stereotypes of the black male libido.
But what is happening now is not the result of random, individual choice but a manifestation of a rejection of black women. Sure, you hear all the cliche rhetoric about "I don't see colour" or "love is colour-blind", but not even the person saying it believes a word of it. The unfortunate bottom line is that most of these "brothers" think their sistas are an inferior product. What makes the situation galling is that rather than accept that's how they see things, the men try and come up with a thousand reasons why black women are their own worst enemies.
When black journalist David Matthews explained in an Evening Standard column why he dated only white women, predictably it wasn't because he thought white women were "better". It was simply that black women had so much "wrong" with them.
Dr Grace Cornish, psychologist and author of 10 Good Choices That Empower Black Women's Lives, knows the reason for the self-denial. "A lot of black men struggle to reach a certain level, and they never feel they have reached the level of their white counterparts," she says. "They feel they need a white woman as part of that lifestyle. These are the ones who have a backlash against black women. They have not dealt with their own internal anger. Instead, they see the opposite sex within their own race as the problem."
Some would argue that because so many images in the modern world portray beauty and status as being manifested in Europeans it is not surprising that black men will have white partners. But if that's the explanation, why, compared to black men, do relatively few Indian, Chinese or Pakistani men choose white women? After all, they are exposed to the same Eurocentric cultural bias as us Caribbean males. No, our partner-choosing habits have more to do with self-loathing and lack of sista love. So what has made the situation in which half of black British males refuse to have a black wife or girlfriend? The explanations are wide-ranging and complex.
Alienation between black men and women goes as far back as the "divide and rule" days of slavery, when traditional family structures were broken up. Look at post-apartheid South Africa, which has the highest recorded number of rapes in Africa, to see the legacy official practices of destroying family structures can have on black male-female relationships.
Decades of racial repression and, more recently, the breakdown of solidarity among black communities, have helped create a climate of lack of self-respect among black males. One only needs to listen to the typical "Ho, bitch, nigga" lyrical content of the average rap record to realise that black self-hatred is alive and well.
A growing number of black women are fed up waiting for their black knight in shining armour, who is more interested in rescuing Rapunzel. The most recent UK figures showed that 30% of black Caribbean women have white partners. I asked a prominent Asian businessman why so many in his community had prospered in the west. "We have strong family structures and support," he said. Sadly, the same cannot be said for the black population. With most black children being raised in single-parent households and so many boys - in the absence of a black father-figure - growing up to fail, it is clear why building strong black male-female relationships is vital. Without this in place, what social or economic hope is there for the black community's next generation?
Steve Pope is co-founder of book publishers The X Press and author of Pope Fiction stevepope@xpress.co.uk
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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 1454
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 02:58 pm: |
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Oh well, what can ya say? I guess that's the beauty of having the freedom to make personal choices. |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1032
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 5 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:06 pm: |
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Now this article was written very well. Thanx Enchanted. So NTFS hating Black women is a choice that is being made by Black men?? |
Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1676
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:38 pm: |
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The author questions why Indian, Chinese, and Pakistani men don't "choose" white women the way that black men do?! The reason is twofold: Their culture is usually completely different --usually very sexist. And, I feel very confident to "say", white women (in general) aren't really attracted to Indian, Chinese, or Pakistani men. |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1039
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:50 pm: |
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Its not that Moonsigns it's just that these ppl have very strong family networks and have pride in who they are and where they come from. They actually have a "culture". Not just an acknowledge of a ppl that existed before White ppl dominated them like Black ppl do.
Also, these men have very high standards(unlike Black men) so if they were to get a White women she would be the "Cream of the Crop". Also these men have alot of money. Wealth that is past down from generation to generation. So they can't just marry any White women that "crosses there path"(unlike Black men). They have to use alot of dicretion as to which type of woman that they can allow into there families. |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1040
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:52 pm: |
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What alot of these wealthy Asian, Indian, and Middle Eastern men will do is use White women as mistresses. However, they will be married to there Asian, Indian, and Middle Eastern wives. |
Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 545
Registered: 11-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:53 pm: |
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Moonsigns there is a large population of Pakistani men living in Minnesota and they all are married to WHITE WOMEN because theres no one else to marry. They dont have a problem getting white women they just prefer their own IF they can get them.
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Enchanted
Veteran Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 546
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 03:56 pm: |
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Side note a Pakistani young woman came to this area I'm talking about in Minnesota and all the Pakistani men ditched their white wives to chase after her you would have thought she was a rare jewel and some of the white women complain that the Pakistani men dont like their children they had with white women because the kids dont look Pakistani.
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Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1677
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 04:15 pm: |
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Serenasailor:
"....it's just that these people have very strong family networks and have pride in who they are and where they come from. They actually have a "culture"....."
Moonsigns:
There is no denying that Indians, Chinese, and Pakistanis have very "tight" communities. However, what you have not acknowledged is that, in many "tight" communities, there is also rampant sexism and hatred. A lot of people don't intermarry because it could get them killed. That isn't "culture", that is abuse --because it denies personal freedom.
Serenasailor:
"Also, these men have very high standards (unlike Black men) so if they were to get a White women she would be the "Cream of the Crop"."
Moonsigns:
If we are going by looks, your conclusion is baseless. Because, most human beings are average in appearance. And that means that many of those same men are with average women who share their "race"/"culture". Therefore, I don't see how the rules should change, or how they actually change, if they should choose to date/marry "out".
Serenasailor:
"Also these men have alot of money. Wealth that is past down from generation to generation. So they can't just marry any White women that "crosses there path" (unlike Black men)."
Moonsigns:
Interesting. Because, it's proven (you do the research) that most people, regardless if it's an interracial couple or monoracial couple, date/marry those who share their same social class/socio-economic backround. Therefore, your theory (stereotype) is, again, baseless.
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Moonsigns
Veteran Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1678
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 04:19 pm: |
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Enchanted,
Yeah. I'm sure all the white women in Minnesota are just chasing down any, and all, Pakistani men!
LMAO!
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Lola_ogunnaike
Regular Poster
Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 388
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 07:40 pm: |
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Also these men have alot of money. Wealth that is past down from generation to generation
you clearly don't know much about Asian people! The Chinese, Pakistani and Indian people are some of the poorest people out there - both in their home countries and when they immigrate to the US and the UK. Sure, there are som wealthy ones but the majority of Pakistanis and Bangladeshis in England are actually in a worse socio-economic position than British blacks and they are also generally more despised by the British whites |
Serenasailor
Veteran Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 1046
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, January 07, 2007 - 08:01 pm: |
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No they are not Lola. These ppl are very well educated and come here with alot of money. Also alot of American companies are outsourcing over there so they are not as poor as you think. Where I live there are alot of very well educated and very wealthy Indian/Asian "techy" guys.
Colleges such as Caltech, Berkeley, and NYU are getting alot of these Pakastani ppl over as foreign exchange students and believe me these ppl are not "Broke". Yes in there native countries they may be poor but somehow they acquire alot of money and live here in the states quite "comfortably". |
Lola_ogunnaike
Regular Poster
Username: Lola_ogunnaike
Post Number: 391
Registered: 10-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, January 08, 2007 - 11:24 am: |
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Serena, you are WRONG. Why do you think every other cab driver in New York is Indian or Pakistani, for instance? Seriously, go pull up some statistics and you will see that Indians and Pakistanis are very close to the bottom of the socio-economic ladder. Where are your statistics to back up your claims? I have a lot of Indian friends and you are insulting them and their struggles with your ignorant comments. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1671
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 01:59 am: |
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A lot of Bangladeshi men are marrying blak women. But that's only because there are vdry few bangladsh women who come over. Some go home to find a wife or go to englsnd. They usually want blakc women beause they say the chld will look more like thmd (dark sking) and lwss like white people. They will date white womend, but thier chose to marry is 1. blangadeshe 2. black.
In the souht ayways.
They don't always come with momey, but they work HARD. Ex of mine bought his own small grocery sotore by working two full time jobs and saving as much as he can. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1672
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:08 am: |
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oh, yeah...it's true. bangadeshi and indian women here have to almost fight men to keep from getting marriage proposals. One friend of mine had to get a roommate beause asian men would follow her home when they find she's aisan AND SINGLE. LOL She said tey usually would bring groceries. LOL |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1673
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 02:28 am: |
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This society is very sexist too. But we're just too pigheaded and stupid to see it.
A mand with two wives and chldren that he' takes care of fianancilally is looked down on....but a man with six girlfriends and kids he can't buy milk for is accepted.
(My 1st bf when I was 17 had 3 kids already and he actually beat me blue when I refused to get pregnt by him. My brother has 4 children. The youngest is 13, the oldest is 19. My brother has never poid one diem of child support and gets angry that his oldes daughter won't loan him money (I DONt BLAME HER ONE BIT). Some respect WE get). He now lives with a women, she workds and pays the bills, he just argues about how she spends her money. THis is NORMAL in MS. and AL. and LA. And anywhere in GA more than 50 miles outside of 285.
A woman who works either in the house OR out of the house (most, that I met, aisns have a housedeepdker if the mom works outside) is looked down on.....but women who have NO CHOICE but to work in the house AND outside (mostly to support men who refuse to marry them) is accepted.
I admit it.....I'm a selfish bitch. If you're not my husband, don't expect a bowl of cereal, a baby, a hot bath, or a place to sleep at my home.
I think single peopl have a right to be selfish. The more women realize this, thi more they won't be caught in the bullshit of giving babyies and money to fools who tell her to get lost as soon as she asks for diaper money. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 1480
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 03:31 am: |
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"I admit it.....I'm a selfish bitch. If you're not my husband, don't expect a bowl of cereal, a baby, a hot bath, or a place to sleep at my home."
Huh..? Why not? Why is showing a little love for the brother man such an issue with you..? This isn't some of that "authentic Negress" attitude is it? Just curious....
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Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1681
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, January 09, 2007 - 04:06 am: |
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No...I don't give men the benefits of having a wife...withougt him having the responsibilities of being a husband.
Men in the souht want all of that: kids, food waiting for them, etc., etc.,e tc.......but, he has three other girlfriends, won't pay child support, hasn't worked in two years, etc., etc., etc.
You get what you give. My brother's ex threw him out...because he kept eating all of the kids food BUT WOULDN'T BUY ANY. DAMN STRAIGHT! I just hate that she didn't do it sooner.
Sometimes you just have to say: You eat when you bring food here. You bathe here when you pay a water bill, etc. |
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