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Chrishayden AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3267 Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 12:08 pm: |
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Subject: Jeff Foxworthy on Missouri - If your local Dairy Queen(Ellington-"Queen-Way") ( or Dairy Shack as Eminence would call it ) is closed from November through March, you might live in Missouri . If someone in a store offers you assistance & they don't work there, you might live in Missouri . If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Missouri . If you have ever worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Missouri . If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Missouri . If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Missouri . YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Missourian WHEN: 1. Vacation means going east or west on I-70 or I-44 for the weekend but you never leave the state. 2. You measure distance in ½ days. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from heat to AC in the same day and back again. 5. You drive 65 mph through a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and know how to use them. 9. You design your kids Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction, & It's Hot. 12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to a blue spruce. 13. "Down south" means the boot hill of Missouri . 14. A brat is something you eat. 15. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed. 16. You go out to a tailgate party every Friday. 17. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 18. You find 0 degrees a "little chilly." 19. You know the difference between corn and soy beans at a glance. 20. The #1 reason you are from Missouri is because you know that East St. Louis is not in Missouri . 21. A "hill" is any landmass higher than 20 feet above sea level. 22. You never drive anywhere within 20 miles of home without their being road construction. 23. You don't believe it until you see it. 24. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Missouri friends. What's not to understand?
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Mzuri "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2724 Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 12:44 pm: |
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Uh huh. And if you eat bacon on top of your sausage sammich - yo ass is definitely from Missouri! |
Chrishayden AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3269 Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 01:09 pm: |
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Only if it is between two biscuits and you have some gravy to sop. |
Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6410 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: Votes: 1 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 01:38 pm: |
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Thanks for posting your resume, chrishayden. |
Chrishayden AALBC .com Platinum Poster Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3274 Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 02:00 pm: |
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And I'm fit as a fiddle and ready for love! |
Mzuri "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2730 Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 02:21 pm: |
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What Ever!
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Cynique "Cyniquian" Level Poster Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6415 Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, January 03, 2007 - 02:42 pm: |
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LMAO. Ribbit. |