| Author | Message | ||
     kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 181 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
THE READING OF CAREY UNIQUE'S WILL. THE MAYOR'S MANSION  LAWCHIC thought surely she was about to throw up.  FINALLY.....the moment of agony had come. The reading of Carey Unique's will.  NERVOUSLY.....she looked over at CYNIQUE, his dear widow and the Unique daughters......because surely    THEIR LIVES....were about to be changed forever. LAWCHIC spoke suddenly: "Welcome everyone....to the reading of CAREY UNIQUE's last will and testament." | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 182 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
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| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 183 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
MAMA LINDA turned to Kola Goof and whispered..."I wish these nigguhs would get the show on the road. I know old Mister Carey ain't done let me down."  KOLA GOOF sighed deeply and said: "The suspense is making the baby kick."   ACROSS THE ROOM......Dr. Chris Hayden noticed that Kola Goof was sitting up pregnant.  IMMEDIATELY...he remembered that time that she had come into his office for a breast exam. And the way he had fucked her upside the SPARKLETTS water bottle. JUST LIKE HE'D DONE CYNIQUE  ___________ The baby KEPT kicking Kola.   SHE LOOKED ACROSS THE ROOM...AND HER EYES MET WITH SOLOMON BONES and HIS GIRLFRIEND, NURSE BIANCA.   KOLA almost wanted to PEE on herself...to cry.  She prayed: "PLEASE GOD...don't let this be Solomon's baby." OR.... ABM's baby or TROY's baby or Dr. Chris Hayden's baby | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 184 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
CYNIQUE closed her eyes...and in her mind...  she could see her dearly departed mother, OLD YELLER. CYNIQUE: "Mama?"  OLD YELLER: "Thass right...it's me, sugar child. My spirit is with you on this great and momentous day. The only thing more important than a woman's wedding day----is the day they read her DEAD husband's will." CYNIQUE: "CAREY used to say I was his AFRICAN QUEEN. I expect to leave her feeling like one." | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 185 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
ABM suddenly walked into LAWCHIC's livingroom.  WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING HIS WAY ....KABRINA's HEART FLUTTERED!!!!  HER SISTER nudged her leg and whispered...."Look who just walked in---not that he's the right blood from the right family."  MAMA LINDA noticed them---KABRINA'S eyes suddenly locking with ABM's.  Mama Linda hissed, "That damn nappyheaded wolf. What my son want with her black as tar ass?" KOLA noticed the way that ABM's eyes went directly to KABRINA.  IT FLASHED IN HER MIND AGAIN ....  that night in the STABLES. The hay clinging to her wet back as ABM surged harder and harder ---sweat running down her brow the HEAT and the sharp precision of the "Pokes". SON OF A BITCH!!!!  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 186 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
 ABM STARED AT KABRINA.  ABM whispered to her across the room: "hello beautiful"  KABRINA nodded in his direction. THEN LOOKED AWAY. And suddenly, as if by magic ---MAMA LINDA remembered the time they had been children.  THE TWO OF THEM DANCING. She grunted angrily!!!!!!!!!!  Mama Linda: "AINT WE GOT ENOUGH NAPPY HAIR IN THIS DAMN FAMILY!!! I don't know what dat boy's problem is!"  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 187 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
MOONRIND, the white journalist who had come to APPLE VALLEY to write a book about the town's inhabitants  Managed to sneak in and was looking around the room as LAWCHIC began to read the formalities. There was Dr. Chris Hayden  WATCHING AS SUDDENLY, HIS EX-WIFE....Dr. Crystal came in and sat next to CYNIQUE.  CYNIQUE was so overcome with emotion!!!!  "Oh, Dr. Crystal---you made it!"  CRYSTAL: "Yes, Cynique I wasn't going to let you down. As your therapist, I feel that this is an important moment for me to gage your psychosis." LAWCHIC began to address everyone gathered.  LAWCHIC: "I will begin this reading by addressing the CENTRAL caviat of Carey Unique's will.....which has to do with his appointing of an EXECUTOR of his will." CYNIQUE looked up, reproachfully. She thought----"I'm his WIFE!!, I am the obvious Executor of my husband's will." BUT THEN....LAWCHIC said: "Carey Unique left the following words for his wife, Cynique Unique."  IMMEDIATELY....Cynique could see her dead husband's face.  ...as LAWCHIC read aloud....  "To my dearest Cynique---I have many revelations to make... ...and the first of which is that you are not the love of my life, but merely....the woman that my parents wanted me to marry. High yellow, Lite-Brite DreamGirl of the OLDEN DAYS....forgive me. But I never loved you, ...and I hearby leave the position of MANAGING EXECUTOR of my estate to the one person I've always LOVED with everything in my being.... .....yes ....the renowned movie critic, HUMPER." THERE WAS AN AUDIBLE GASP IN THE ROOM!!!!!!  Cynique began to fall apart---her daughters held her hand for support and Dr. Crystal watched her intensely. People were shocked into disbelief. HUMPER?? Humper--the movie critic. LAWCHIC continued to read CAREY's words.  "Cynique--I am leaving you with a picture of me and HUMPER. It's a picture of the two of us dressed up as Kola Boof impersonators.  You know how Humper OBSESSES over that gorgeous woman. Well...you've always known how I loved kissing and licking HUMPER's ass like the perfect MASCOT. I visited his web site often to cheer him on about his SUPERLATIVE movie reviews and to be his own personal RENFIELD. You should have known all along." TRULY.....CYNIQUE WAS JUST ABOUT TO PASS OUT  ...but then an even bigger shock came.  "To my darling HUMPER...I leave the position of EXECUTOR of my estate and the lump sum of $50 MILLION DOLLARS... ....and I hereby leave sole ownership and possession of the UNIQUE FAMILY MANSION to my maid----MAMA LINDA!"  CYNIQUE could hardly believe it! CYNIQUE's face literally DRAINED of all color as she screamed out in Horror!!!  "NOOOOOOOOooooooooONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" NO!! NO!!! MAMA LINDA COULD NOT BELIEVE HER OWN LUCK  "I got the MANSION!!!??? DAYUM!!!!" NO ONE COULD BELIEVE THAT ALL THIS WAS HAPPENING    IT WAS SHOCKING..... | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 188 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
KEEPERS OF THE FLAME WILL CONTINUE  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 189 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
LAWCHIC continued reading from CAREY's will:  "I CAREY UNIQUE...hereby leave to my wife, CYNIQUE...the sum total of $10 MILLION and 5% ownership of my corporation." SHOCK...SHOCK...SHOCK KOLA GOOF was suddenly afraid for her name to even come up.  A_WOMON tried to consoling and holding on to her mother despite the fact that she was TOO SHOCKED for words...  but the piercing screams and cries jutted from Cynique's chest like flaming Indian arrows.  The entire room was quiet with anxiety, and in Mama Linda's case----joy. LAWCHIC suddenly looked over to KABRINA UNIQUE.....   "I CAREY UNIQUE..add the stipulation that my wife, CYNIQUE cannot receive her money until my daughter KABRINA has lost her virginity and is legally married." KABRINA COULD NOT BELIEVE IT!  KABRINA FROZE---SPEECHLESS  BUT ABM watched her with amusement.  HE THOUGHT: "Now I've got you!!" MAMA LINDA squirmed in her chair and KOLA GOOF felt the most seething JEALOUSY.  AT THIS POINT..... CYNIQUE was no longer shocked.   She could not claim her $10 MILLION until KABRINA lost her virginity and got married. And in her mind---$10 MILLION was peanuts anyway. LAWCHIC read: "A doctor's examination and a legal marriage liscence and wedding will be required by KABRINA in order for CYNIQUE to receive her $10 MILLION." "AND....to KABRINA herself.....I leave the sum of $30 MILLION and 20% ownership of my corporation."  Dr. Chris Hayden looked up just as his name was being called.....  "TO DR. CHRIS HAYDEN...my good buddy... first let me say.... CHRIS, I know you fucked my wife." SUDDENLY, Chris could see Carey's face as LAWCHIC read the words.  "In fact you nailed that bitch a FEW times, old boy, and you fucked KOLA too. I know all about it, good buddy. But because we're men....I forgive you. I hereby leave you the sum of $15 MILLION." GODDAMNIT YES!!!, Chris exhaled with joy. A whole fucking $15 MILLION!!!! And of course his ex-wife, Dr. Crystal  couldn't help but look at him. AND NOW...... "to my daughter, A_Womon Unique."  CAREFULLY, LAWCHIC set aside the letter revealing that A_WOMON was not Carey and Cynique's daughter---but ADOPTED. It had been Carey's wish that A_WOMON never find that out. "To my daughter A_WOMON...I leave the sum total of $30 MILLION and 30% controlling ownership of my corporation."  "To my son TROY....I leave 40% controlling ownership of my corporation and the sum of $30 MILLION." "AND FINALLY...... to Miss Kola Goof."  "My assistant in publishing who claims to be carrying my unborn child-----"  "I leave the total sum of one dollar...and   a dollar and a bible. You dirty unwashed Watusi scum bitch!" KOLA WAS SPEECHLESS!!  A dollar and a bible!!!! | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 190 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
 MAMA LINDA...who was ecstatic about being left the UNIQUE MANSION looked at KOLA and said: "Thass messed up."  But Kola told her---"This isn't over, I'm going to get a lawyer and contest this stupid will!!! I'm going to find this HUMPER person and talk to him about it." Mama Linda: "Well, I tell you one thang--I am the happiest woman in this town today." She went over to CYNIQUE.  She laughed and said: "You throwed me off the property, bitch ----but now it's YOU and your chillens thass got ONE WEEK to get the fuck out outta....MY MANSION." A_WOMON was crying, visibly upset.  She shouted: "You leave my mother alone!" MAMA LINDA laughed.  She said: "Come on ABM--I want you to drive me home. I got a lot of packing to do--now that I'm moving on up." ABM got up to drive his mother home.  LAWCHIC walked over to Cynique. She said: "I am so, so....SORRY." She was in tears. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 191 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
That damned CAREY!!!! Fucking around with HUMPER's big ass all this time  SHAKEN and full of butterflies... KOLA GOOF drove herself to the airport.  The baby kept kicking.  She was furious and determined to get LAWCHIC as her lawyer---so that she could contest the will. SUDDENLY...thinking about it too much and shaken with disbelief...  she lost control of the car!!!!!!  THE CAR CRASHED...and she felt the baby....STOP KICKING  It STOPPED...kicking. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 192 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
LATER THAT NIGHT.... Apple Valley Memorial Hospital  KOLA GOOF was told by Dr. DickSon that she lost the baby.  Dr. Dick-Son: "Your baby's dead." KOLA insisted that the Doctor tell NO ONE. Doctor..Patient Confidentialty was THE LAW!!!, she enthused and he agreed. THEN HE LEFT THE ROOM WEARILY...Kola began to plot her next scheme.  KOLA THOUGHT TO HERSELF: "I'll have to get proof that this is CAREY's baby." She put her hand on her belly and thought about all the millions.... and she thought about getting pregnant ...AGAIN.  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 193 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
As KABRINA was leaving the reading ....ABM walked up to her.   ABM asked: "So when are we getting married?"  | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 194 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
MOONRIND was helping LAWCHIC to clean up her desk.  Suddenly...there was a phone call.   LAWCHIC: "Excuse me while I take this call, MOON."  WHILE LAWCHIC was talking on the phone.... MOON noticed the sealed secret envelope.  VERY CAREFULLY....Moon sneaked the envelope behind her back and took into the hallway.  QUICKLY...she read the letter. The letter revealing that A_WOMON UNIQUE was "adopted"----but didn't know it. | ||
| kola@aalbc.com Moderator Username: Kola Post Number: 195 Registered: 02-2005 Rating: N/A |
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