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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2157
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 12:41 am: | 
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Rustang and Yvettep, and anybody else who wants to join in, my good deed for the day is to extricate this discussion from the Baby Girl/Kola feud.
In regard to your remarks, Rustang, unemployment is bad for poor people, but it creates jobs for all those who work for the various social agencies that administer to the improvished. It's a cliche, but it does seem like the poor will always be with us because, like prisons, poverty has become an industry.
Yep, Yvettep, this war is being fought pretty much by the underclasses and gung-ho blue collar people. You see very few college students or corporate types volunteering to fight. All of those national guard people joined this organization to supplement their incomes and be eligible for benefits and they got stuck fighing Bush's war while his air-head daughters lead lives of fun and leisure. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 164
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 01:00 am: |
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Cynique,
Just curious. Why haven't you said hello to and welcomed ABM's wife?
Her name is Charlene and she's posted as DESTINED.
Which pretty much put a chicken bone in the neck of my "FUED" with BabyKong.
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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 110
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 08:21 am: |
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Like many of us here, I have family roots that go deep into the military. I was born in an Army hospital, when my father was in, I was a military spouse for 5 years, I have several relatives who either are currently or were in the Army, Air Force, National Guard, Reserves.
I have seen some young Blacks and Hispanics work this system wonderfully: getting degrees, saving money for houses, politic-ing their way to the great assignments/units that result in true advancement and true opportunity once they get out. AND--most importantly, they DO get out--instead of re-upping and re-upping because they keep getting themselves in financial binds, they serve and get out or put in all their time and retire at an enviaby early age.
BUT, having said that: The vast majority of the people who are poor or working class who end up in the Army (I know more about that service than the others) seem not able to work things to be so well-served. Once that would not have been so bad--just some years spent and some (largely) non-transferable skills gained.
But of course our last three presidents' (yes, Clinton included with the Bushes) penchant for sending troops all over has changed all that.
It really is very sad.
Then it doesn't help that some (not all) White liberals have responded by being very anti-military--attacking and mocking the troops and their families instead of the heads who've sent them.
I don't know what to do about all this. It is, though, a very worthwhile discussion so thank you for bringing it up, Cynique.
Kola: my 2 cents about your question (I know not directed at me): I don't know who anybody is anymore on these boards (if I ever did), so I am gonna try to just stick to the "content" and not the "Characters" at all! LOL! If that was Mrs. ABM, though, sounds like she gave a polite between-the-lines warning to the Mr should he ever cross her line! LOL!!! |
Rustang
Regular Poster
Username: Rustang
Post Number: 28
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 11:15 am: |
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I would agree that the vast majority of our military personel try to serve with honor and that the military has provided many people with marketable skills and consequently a much higher standard of living than what they would have otherwise had.I wouldn't limit the list of war mongering presidents to merely the last three,though.Other than Carter,I don't recall one that wasn't.I couldn't really say about Ford,as he wasn't there long enough to find out.His job was to pardon Nixon.A person should differentiate between the personel that serve with honor and the cowardly bastard that is placing them in harm's way at every opportunity for blatantly obvious personal advantage.George the First pulled every string imaginable to get his idiot offspring into the national guard so that he wouldn't have to go to Viet Nam and now that same idiot is rotating national guard units through combat duty.Now men and women that are just trying to do their duty are viewed by many as the hired thugs of the Halliburton/British Petroleum coalition.I have always been very supportive of our military.Before the invasion I was saying that this is wrong,Bush is lying through his teeth,don't send them.Since the invasion,I have been saying this is wrong,they shouldn't even be there,bring them home today before another life is sacrificed on the alter of corporate greed.I can't imagine a way to be any more supportive than that.I want to see them all come home safely to their families right now.Instead of spending 5 billion dollars a month mugging Iraq we could be spending that money providing an education and training to the young people of our country that doesn't involve cluster bombs and depleted uranium.It has always been my opinion that a person that hides in an impregnable stronghold and sends brave men and women out to die in order to line his own pocket is the lowest sort of coward and lacks completely the qualities that separate us from the baboon. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 165
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 11:17 am: |
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Hi Yvette! You're crazy and you're RIGHT.
Although, that really is ABM's wife who posted, and after all these years, it was so thrilling to actually hear from HER.
I only pray that ABM will be back.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 166
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 11:20 am: |
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Girl, you see Mahoghany Anais done ducked behind some buildings with her big eyes peeking around.
She so quiet you can hear a mouse pissing on cotton.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2158
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 12:07 pm: |
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Well, to me, "Destined" sounded like another one of Kola's color-conscious alter egos. If she is indeed ABM's wife then I'll try to work up the enthusiasm to welcome someone who's going to put the skids on everybody's favorite dispenser of double-entendre, the pseudo smooth-talkin playa who provided the comic relief that was all in fun. And with Kola retracting her claws and assigning me to "the circle of wisdom," some remote zone especially reserved for has-been senior citizens, things are really going to be staid around this cyber planet. It's enough to make me go read a book. |
Rustang
Regular Poster
Username: Rustang
Post Number: 29
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 12:27 pm: |
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It's been my experience that the 'circle of wisdom' generally involves rocking chairs,blankets and prodigious quantities of sasafras tea. I'm lucky,though.Whenever I get to thinking that a man of my caliber should be hanging out with the sages,I have a wife that is happy to tell me how 'ain't nobody wanna hear yo bullshit.You need to go fix that sheetrock behind the drier.'Oh,well.Maybe someday I'll get the respect that I so obviously deserve. |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 111
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 12:38 pm: |
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Rustang, your bullshit is more than welcome--and in good company--here! But it's not either-or: You should ALSO fix the sheetrock behind the dryer like the Mrs said! |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 167
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 02:40 pm: |
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Cynique you are not some has-been senior citizen.
You are OUR MOTHERSEED, now fully wrapped in the robe of light--you have reached the "Ba", the space of wisdom and ultimate value, because WITH AGE, you are closer to God and more in tune with nature's cycle and your intuition is at its optimum.
You may also experience forgetfulness and other mind blocks....but in truth, this is because your "Ba" is weary of dabbling in the tedius sameness of earthly smallness. You're too big now for much of life's limitations. You "Know too much"---so your spirit may wander into other dimensions at times.
You are an Elder, a Wise mother who is watching us and teaching us (whether you mean to or not).
Back home, the Great Mother (grandmother) is the most respected, most highest, most valued member of the family. If you fail to look after your Great Mother or Great Father or to respect them (even if they are crazy or mean)---then the ancestors will be against you and the Jinns will play with the puppet-strings of your life.
Rustang is only 60, that is middle aged to me. But you must be protected by me and cared after, ESPECIALLY because I am a daughterseed. I will need your protection and caring once you have crossed into the next world, and your wisdom will give gifts to my "Ba" as I age after you.
You guys ALWAYS make fun of me, but this is a very serious matter. You are not OLD--you are simply "Closer to God" now, and you have become more and more of all of us----back home we would say you are "showing the true beauty" now. Which is the test of TIME.
You TALK so young that I never believed you were past 52.
You are our mother and we belong at your feet to warm them and to memorize your stories.
In Africa--"Memory" is crucial, and the Elders INFUSE the younger ones, so that their trip is easier than before.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 168
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 02:45 pm: |
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One thing I despise about America, and many other Africans have mentioned this to me.
They have NO RESPECT here for the "Elders". Who ever heard of such a contemptuous thing as "Senior Citizen". It's so....CLINICAL.
I see the youth pass by old people---they don't speak, don't stop to hear stories and gain knowledge that will help them on their journey, they don't ask questions of the elders and spend time with them.
It's AGAINST GOD to have "old folks home". It's EVIL and SATANIC and it is not our way, the Blacks. No, no. We don't believe in "senior citizen home". ELDERS belong home with the youngest of the litter, they belong in the TULAT so that when God comes by here at night--you are blessed that much more.
This is a disgrace in America, how they trash the ones closest to God.
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Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 06:44 pm: |
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I know that I am not in your Wisdom Circle but I feel that I have earned some Cyber Infidelity points and must speak. I have always respected the "Elders". In fact, I have been blessed to have both my grandmother and ABM's grandmother stay with us for about 5 months. They are both in their 90’s. His Mother stayed with us as well. While I am happy to have my house back, our days were filled with laughter, intense conversations, and immeasurable wisdom. My girls have received irreplaceable love and discipline and my mother-in-law assisted me in ways that I could only have dreamt about. I have always been told to serve my elders and I would receive their wisdom. After that experience, I am convinced that this is true.
Cynique: If she is indeed ABM's wife then I'll try to work up the enthusiasm to welcome someone who's going to put the skids on everybody's favorite dispenser of double-entendre, the pseudo smooth-talkin playa who provided the comic relief that was all in fun.
Destined: Cynique, I think it's amusing that you view me as some sort of spoil sport. Surely the veil of cyber space keeps everyone safe. I think this still holds true for ABM. The exception would be Kola. She is truly the most revealed person in the room. As a moderator, she is either totally naked (no pun intended) or a complex fraud. I didn't pick that up.
However, this literary Romper Room (as ABM portrays it) is not always as harmless as one might imply because the spirit of man has always transcended the tangible. As I explained to ABM earlier, emotions are attached to these keys. "It was all in fun, he said” I remember hearing that from the young boys in the playground messing around with the misfit children. Our play is not always fun and games to others. We must guard our words. But, forgive me, I’m preaching to the choir.
Perhaps ABM will continue to post and remain anonymous for I carry the honor of my fathers name and then his. I must say, he has been somewhat shy lately. LOL
I didn’t tell him to stop posting. I simply told him to work with this scenario. If your friends were in our family room and I'm touting about the home, say what you wouldn't mind me hearing. He's always been a flirt and my friends know him for that. That will continue on and off line. He's definitely a strong minded chauvinist and I must say I LOVE HIM MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW Kola.
However, if ABM is still unclear, perhaps this picture will work best. You're in divorce court and my attorney is handing these cyber documents to the Judge.... will this work against you? LMAO
ABM, don't forget to take out the trash!!! (smile)
Note:
Kola: He really is a BIG BROTHER-Imaginary Knight In Shining Armour for me.....but that's about it.
Kola: I DO LOVE HIM, Charlene, but not in a romantic sense---but in a "fantasy" sense, because I am able to SUPER-IMPOSE what he's like onto him only because I've never seen, met or really know the TRUE him and don't really have access to him unless it's by chance, online.
Kola, I have never fantasized about my big brother?
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 169
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 07:47 pm: |
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Well, Destined...
I can promise you that I won't "flirt" or "play" with ABM anymore if he does return.
I really am sorry that it came to this--and now that you're actually a "real person" to me and not just someone I've heard so much about, I do take the situation a lot more serious and agree that we've "played" too liberally as well.
Again, I truly apologize and I reiterate that there is NOTHING LIKE THAT between ABM and I in any way, and after all these years, if he HAD harbored any sort of intentions, I would have known by now. To the contrary, we often joked about our "pal-ship" in between the tons of POSTS and THREADS about my "real" man, THOMAS---and other men I've dated.
Not only that, but quite a few women have flirted with ABM on these boards and tried to hog up his attention, not just me, and NONE OF US were ever able to take him seriously...because in one post he'd flirt with me, then flirt back with another girl in the next post. OBVIOUSLY--he wasn't seriously chasing women if he's flirting with all at the same time.
I really liked you so much, DESTINED, from what ABM told me and I continue to feel really trashy and guilty in light of your feelings and in light of recently being called a "whore" by the SPLA--who used that Un-truth as grounds to keep me from getting a military medal.
What I am is the mother of 2 kids, an eccentric, lonely woman writer and activist living on a ranch in the middle of nowhere who has plenty of interested suitors (none of whom communicate with me through Cyberspace)---but am still madly in love with my children's father and seriously considering becoming celibate, as lately, I feel frigid.
And sick.
I do love ABM, as my friend, very deeply I admire him and I am impressed, amused and intrigued by him. I can't explain that to you. But NONE of my fantasies about him have been romantic or sexual---your hubby shot all that kind of thinking down YEARS AGO when I first met him.
Knowing ABM, I imagine that he won't come back. But if he does--you have my word that I won't "play-kid around" with him anymore.
I can't speak for the other women here that he's flirted with or have flirted with him.
JUST A LITTLE SISTERLY ADVICE:
"I just don't think it's good to threaten men publicly about divorce court and lawyers when it's something this slight and non-threatening, because then it makes them rebel in some other form. They're like children. I realize that ABM has brought my book in your house now and probably made some comment that made you check things out---but seriously, there's nothing here that would even constitute you being mad at him. He's innocent, and because I'm the woman and should have thought this out more---I really do blame myself for this and I won't let any misconstruations happen again."
Kola
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 170
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 08:10 pm: |
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Also DESTINED,
The "REASON" that I listed the names of the men who I am dating/talking to is so that there is protection for me as well.
Not only can those very credible and important men state I'm not a "whorish" type in real life---but it also goes to show that any involvement I've had with ABM over the years is strictly plutonic and restricted to cyberspace. After 4 years, I don't even know the initials of your husband's name and have never once heard his voice.
If there is something "wrong" between you and ABM and if it should come to litigation, it would not be necessary to drag me or any of these threads into it---because my testimony would only hurt your case.
I wish you both all the best, and like I said, what love I feel for ABM is extended to you as well.
Kola
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Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 08:23 pm: |
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Kola: JUST A LITTLE SISTERLY ADVICE:
"I just don't think it's good to threaten men publicly about divorce court and lawyers when it's something this slight and non-threatening, because then it makes them rebel in some other form. They're like children.
Destined: JUST A LITTLE SISTERLY RESPONSE:
Awe, come on now. He’s a big boy! Now is not the time to coddle. Perhaps, our past gives me an edge and I know exactly what I'm talking about.
Since you're good at giving advice, I wish you had more of the facts, and then your advice would be well received.
However, you may have a better handle on this situation with ABM than I, I'm all ears.
If I were honestly that upset, I don't think I'd write so freely on the site. However, I believe that there are times when you must convey to the men in your life exactly who you are. Being, docile has it place, stupidity rarely does.
He publicly flirted with other women and may have risked the trust of our relationship. It was fun and games then. I thought what I said would be blown off as a little cyber humor.
Apparently, I don't know when you guys are serious and when it's fair play. How can an outsider know these things? It’s like being in a foreign land and you don’t know the language. At some point you must let the interpreter know you’re not stupid just because you can’t understand what they’re saying. That’s all I did.
Don't blame yourself; I think you're a very intriguing person. I’m going to hate leaving. I must admit that my information about you was a lot more abstract than what I have seen here but nevertheless, he’s still here.
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Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 08:34 pm: |
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Kola:
I think what you're saying is..... I can't play. As for the other flirts, at least you're not sitting around watching. I am compelled to admire that in you.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 171
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 09:13 pm: |
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Destined,
After 8 years of being totally devoted and a happy loving servant to my own man, Thomas---he is now dating a woman 14 years younger than me, and like you, she is more beautiful than me.
The pain, jealousy and loneliness that I wake up with and go to bed with each night is so intense that it crushes my heart into a cramped elongation---there simply isn't room, and in spite of that, I have to TRY to forge a career in an industry that despises that me for being "different" and I have to make it appear in front of my sons that nothing is wrong, and when their father comes here twice a week (he owns this house/property--I have NOTHING), I have to pretend that everything is alright.
So the last thing I would wish on any woman...is to feel the alienation and abandonment that I feel, and I totally understand that you're OK with everything, but I just feel that I really OWE IT to you to be as straightforward and as forthcoming as possible....so that hopefully you will have some peace of mind in this matter.
If this was my man online flirting for years with a female "buddy", I'm not sure that I would be as classy and shrewdly laconic as you are.
And because I hurt so deeply, I truly don't want to be responsible for hurting others and this is why I am trying to "relieve you" of any wondering or stress.
If people knew how weak and alone I am right now, they would understand why I tell everything to a board on a screen.
To keep from going crazy.
When you're a woman like Kola Boof---who other women consider a "weirdo", "gung-ho"---you just don't have friends.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 172
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 16, 2005 - 09:26 pm: |
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And now, after I feed my sons and send them to play upstairs until their bedtime......I will have my Saturday Night "vodka", and after that little firewater unwinds my muscles and my mind, I will hopefully write a brilliant chapter in my new novel "The Sexy Part of the Bible".
Pray for me to write something really exceptional, because this is the crucial scene where Roxie goes to the psychiatrist to reveal a major secret about herself that sets the whole plot of the book in motion---and the writing of this scene has held me up for 6 weeks and it has to be...OFF THE CHAIN or the whole novel will fail.
This is really a hard book to write, because it's about an issue that NO WOMAN of any color likes to consider....in quite this way. And it's really sort of autobiographical in a way. But suddenly not having a man, has made me determined to tackle this rather taboo territory.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2159
Registered: 01-2004
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 01:17 am: |
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This is what Cynique really wants to say:
Yvettep says in reponse to a comment by Rustang:
"Rustang, your bullshit is more than welcome--and in good company--here!"
Then Cynique wanted to say in response to Yvettep's comment on Rustang's remark:
"Your bull shit is, indeed, in good company here, Rustang. And who'd of thought that the headine of this post which reads 'The Great American Charade' would be such an inspiration to other posters."
That's what Cynique felt like saying. But she thought better of it lest she detract from the credible posts that dealt with the subject of age. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 164
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 01:27 am: |
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See, it's posts like this one above that keep me from posting. You people keep saying things much better than I ever could!
Dammit!
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Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 165
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 01:45 am: |
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Cynique and Rustang:
No rocking chairs or has-beens.
I was raised, in part, by my grandmother (she died this January of colon cancer at the age of 82). She instilled in me a respect of elders that was not akin to "blind faith" or a patronizing sort of deference, but rather simple acknowledgment.
When I moved Up North, and started working with and befriending people who were much older than me, I cringed inwardly whenever I called one of these people by their first name. My grandmother would have had my head for that at home. When she was 60, she still called someone 80 "ma'am" and "Miss/Mrs./Mr." She was definitely old school.
I've always been "at home" with older people, always thought I'd marry an older man (which is probably one of the many reasons I'm divorcing a man who is only five months older than me!). I've been called an "old soul" more than once.
Anyway, talking about age/wisdom reminds me of my Nana. She was wise, though imperfect. And she refused to sit in a rocking chair, even when she needed to! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2160
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 02:20 am: |
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Hey, Mahoganyanais. My grandkids call me "Nana", too - because the idea of being called "granny" made me cringe. And, although I likewise consider myself an old soul, I guess I could also be a considered a case of arrested development since I'm a tad more comfortable in the company of young people. What I really like to think of myself as is a chameleon; someone who just adapts to the company she's in. Lord only knows what others consider me. Anyway, there's something to be said for growing old gracefully, so although I still wear tight jeans, I would never be caught dead in low riders! LOL. Gotta get outta here before Kola's vodka kicks in. |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 166
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 02:42 am: |
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Cynique:
Now see, I *just* started rocking the tight jeans at 33. Good to know I got a lotta years left in 'em. Oh, I have done the low-rider thing, but I'm self-conscious the whole time!
About growing old gracefully...I actually embrace aging. I try to take good care of my body, and my mind and spirit have surely improved over time. I've seen a gray hair here and there, and gravity is trying to knock, but I don't sweat it. But the most important thing to me, is to keep my mind strong. I don't care if I age otherwise overnight!
And black women do tend to age well ("Black don't crack!"). My mother is 52, with breast cancer, and looks 40 tops. My Nana, 82 and cancer-ridden, looked better than some healthy 60 year olds I've seen. HER mother lived to be 93, and she was a fox up until Alzheimer's set in. |
Heavensquill
Newbie Poster
Username: Heavensquill
Post Number: 10
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 08:50 am: |
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Greetings, All;
This "aging process" is amazing. Truly, the sage that said "youth is wasted on the young" was profoundly wise. To have learned, now, how to utilize the understanding acquired through the years is a beautiful thing.
MAH: Consider those gray hairs "nature's highlights"...continue to enjoy the journey! |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 167
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 09:15 am: |
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Heavensquill,
"Nature's highlights"...love it! |
Libralind2
Regular Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 43
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 10:06 am: |
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Grandmother of 4 who loves tight jeans with a little spandex in the fabric and if anyone knows where I can get a pair as I need new ones, it would be greatly appreciated..LOL
Linda From Ohio |
Rustang
Regular Poster
Username: Rustang
Post Number: 30
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 10:37 am: |
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'Nature's highlights',60=middle aged.Yeah.I think I'll go with that.I'd have to say that the difference between now and when I was 20 is that then,my mind couldn't really keep up with my body and now my body can't keep up with my mind.I wouldn't really call one better or worse that the other.It's just part of the process.But then,I still haven't decided what I want to be when I grow up.I guess it'll come to me someday. |
Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 11:46 am: |
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Cynique: "Your bull shit is, indeed, in good company here, Rustang. And who'd of thought that the headline of this post which reads 'The Great American Charade' would be such an inspiration to other posters."
What Destined wants to say to Cynique is:
I concede to your timely response with a jolt of reality, this morning. The Post could have read 'All Pigs Speak Latin". I just needed to emote.
Please pardon my disrespect and anger.
Libralind2, I have looked everywhere and I find it hard to get away from the Gloria Vanderbilts. They just seem to hug my African American hips best.
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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 115
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 01:09 pm: |
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I turn 41 later this month. If, as Oprah says, 50 is the "new 30," then 41 must be the new 21... Where'd ya'll say I can get those tight jeans? |
Mahoganyanais
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mahoganyanais
Post Number: 168
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 01:20 pm: |
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Linda from OH:
I get all my jeans from Old Navy. Love 'em. I think they have some stretchy ones too. Good luck! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2161
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 02:20 pm: |
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Yep, according to the mavens of pop culture, 40 is the new 30, 50 the new 40, 60 the new 50, and so on and I agree. Age is a simply an arbitrary chronological designation. People's bodies and metabolisms age in different ways and at different rates. So, it's all about attitude, because age is really a state of mind. Now I don't want to belabor the point, - but I will. Part of my maturing process was to remain contemporary and relevant, both mentally and physically, and at some point around the age of 55, my appearance froze; and I've changed very little since that time. It helps that I know how to use make-up effectively and I color my hair and dress in flattering styles and as a result, people constantly remark on how youthful I've remained. This was not happenstance. And this may sound crazy and vain, but I've always been intrigued by metaphysics and mind-over-matter theories. So when I first got interested in these mental disciplines, I decided to plant a seed in my subconscious and program my psyche to defy age. I reinforced this mind-set by visualizing a youthful image of myself, energizing it by chanting a mantra, the resonating hum of which electrified my aura. Yes, I know it sounds silly and new-age and it is; but, to me, the operative word here is "new.". Today I am an ageless woman. I know a little bit about a lot of things, and much to the chargin of many, I am fortified with a healthy strain of skepticism. My saving grace is that I appreciate what an equalizer humor is. My blood pressure is normal, I have thus far escaped arthritis, and the only medication I'm on is a daily low-dose aspirin which I prescribed for myself. When I attended my 50-year high school class reunion a few years back, frivolous person that I can sometimes be, I was standing there, wondering who are all of these old, fat, bald-headed, white-haired people milling around? We were all required to wear name badges with the picture from our high school yearbook on them, and everybody kept marvelling how I still looked like my senior picture! Now, I am defintely not somebody who would be mistaken for an 18-year old girl, but I am also not someone who is guessed to be 71(72 in August.)I say all of this to say that this was my approach to life. I do not recommend it to anyone else, but I will emphasize that being the eccentric person that I am, it worked for me. And - now that I have sufficiently bored everybody with my my "thoughts are things" philosophy, I can only hope I haven't jinxed myself.
To Destiny, I say, it's no wonder you and Kola are so compatible, because you write just alike. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2162
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 02:24 pm: |
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Oops, I meant to say "Destined", not "Destiny." Guess I was having a senior moment. LOL |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 173
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 03:13 pm: |
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Hi Cynique,
I can assure you that DESTINED is "ABM's" wife.
I would not have the nerve to pretend to be her---ABM would not be amused if I did and he would kill me----and not only that, but....
......you can have TROY and LINDA check her IPP (I already did on my own board) to prove it to you.
There has been discomfort brewing for a while, although I wasn't aware what the reason for ABM's cold shoulder was lately or had no expectation of her coming to the board---and I'm guessing that although ABM had promised me that we had her permission to "chat/goof around" online, just as Thomas had given me permission to "chat" with ABM----she probably didn't feel any need to scope the situation out until he actually brought my books into the house--and of course, those books feature glamorous photos, some of them "topless", and she's read the book---which is a very sexy, intriguing book by an obviously VOLATILE if "eccentric" woman.
Men love crazy, naked women.
I've done my part to clarify everything for DESTINED, who ABM always claimed was "somewhat" like me in that she's an artistic, passionate woman (maybe that's what you're sensing Great Mother?)....and of course I will always be crazy about her husband, ABM, but was never any threat or side dish for him......
.......because ABM, away from the board, is far more serious, intellectual and NON-womanizing than many of you here are privvy to.
ABM never ever tried to put the moves on me. And we've been Pen-Pals for YEARS and shared many of our most intimate secrets and swapped advice.
And my biggest challenge, as you saw over the years, was to make ABM acknowledge his sexism.
I'm not directing this at you, Cynique--but just lamenting the fact that SOME feminists refuse to interact with men solely because they're flawed and "crass" or womanizing---I'm not that type. I love to spar with sexist men and get to know them as much as possible, because it helps me to understand what exactly I believe in.
His bravado and honestly---I actually adored. And his sensitivity and insight, I positively cherished. He is a really fine man.
_________________
DESTINED,
I'm not saying that "YOU" can't play.
I'm just saying that this is a very sensitive subject and unless we're BOTH cats without claws...it's impossible for us to play with THIS particular item.
Whenever ABM told me that you called me his "African girlfriend"----always "fantasized" that you really liked me and were making that title up tongue-in-cheekly. But of course, I have expressed a desire to "cook" for your man, called him "daddy" and sent him naked pictures of myself (that were shared with EVERYONE)....so I do feel, IN RETROSPECT, that I got carried away having a make believe cyber-boyfriend and that since I DON'T KNOW YOU...I would rather not accidentally disrespect you or offend you or say something insensitive. And ABM would kill me if I was disrespectful or mean to you, even if it was on accident.
That is what you detect....more than me not wanting you to play.
It's "ME" who can't play.
Earlier when you told Cynique to forgive your "anger", it confused me, because you seem to be going back and forth from "just playing" to "angry/divorce court". THAT is exactly what I don't want to feed or antagonize.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2163
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 03:44 pm: |
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Maybe it's just me, Kola, but this extended dialogue between you and Destined is about as interesting as an exchange between me and Viggo's girlfriend would be. Does anybody really care???? |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 176
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 03:51 pm: |
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LOL
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Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 07:19 pm: |
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Kola:
I was speaking to ABM with my comment about divorce. It was for him, not you. I am still waiting for him to acknowledge anything that I have posted here. I was raised to speak a certain way, so if you were under the impression that I had no feelings, you're wrong.
Your response however, didn't make things better, it made them worst. It was as if you were saying you knew more about my man than I. If indeed you think that’s the case, ABM and I have a serious problem. I get it ALL on this side and you know what I mean.
I hadn't seen your book until I mentioned some of the things that were posted on the site. He showed me the book on Wednesday of last week. I left that night and returned from the Spa on Friday. I haven't had time to read your book.
Your breasts are fine and I haven't seen any other pictures that I would be offended by. Breasts don't bother me because I'm quite pleased with mine.
I may have called you his African Girlfriend once or twice, but I had no idea what kinds of things were being said. I've read some of the e-mails. I thought that this was a website for serious writers to talk about current issues, etc., so I never thought anything else about it. I asked him last week to let me see some of the things that you guys talk about. After reading, that’s when things became awkward.
I didn't know you were cyber boyfriend and girlfriend. This is news to me. You calling him 'Daddy" and offering to cook it all good. My girls call him Daddy as well.
So, you needn't apologize to me. Just because it seemed to escape you that I am real doesn't make it right and you have made it clear that you feel bad but please stop taking up for him. That's not making it better, and this isn't about you right now. I'm just waiting for my man to respond in the forum where he disrespected me so comfortably. It's his turn.
I must apologize for being so incredibly boring to everyone else. I’d love to post regularly, I love the topics. I’m sure I’d need a different name. (smile)
Cynique, Destined, Destiny whatever, ABM says you still think it's Kola: I reiterated, you really don't care. By the way, I love Viggo too. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 179
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 08:10 pm: |
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Destined,
I'm sorry. Didn't mean to make things worse.
I don't even know the initials in ABM's name or his actual name or where he lives or anything about him that is "tangible"---so I wasn't claiming to know your man better than you do. If you look at the acknowledgement pages in any of my books, you will find him mentioned as "ABM", because that's all I know.
Earlier....you seem to have hinted that he might be "untrustworthy" in real life, in public around women----SEE, that's the kind of stuff only you could know. And I'm not taking up for him, but being honest when I tell you that he NEVER put the moves on me and had YEARS of opportunity to do so. Your hubby has chatted with me at my absolute weakest--he only tried to counsel me and I think he sees me as a "future important person" and wanted to be able to say that he helped nurture me out of the gate, professionally. It's just the truth.
There truly is nothing to worry about, however.
Nothing's went on here but kidding and joking.
Did you see all the times I cussed your husband out and stop being his friend, because he's sexist or took up for Moonsigns chick?
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 180
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 08:14 pm: |
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Destined:
I was raised to speak a certain way, so if you were under the impression that I had no feelings, you're wrong.
Kola:
Just what are your feelings, Destined? Can we at least get that out in the open?
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Rustang
Regular Poster
Username: Rustang
Post Number: 31
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 11:11 pm: |
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Cynique makes a very good point about staying relevant.One thing that I have learned over the years that has served me well is that I no longer have to make my own mistakes.In order to make the most of the mistakes that others make,I have to keep up with what people are doing now,instead of being the sterotypical 'old fogey'basing my view of the world today on how the world was back in 'the good old days'.I have also finally realized the difference between the old and young in spirit.The young dream of tommorrow.The old dream of yesterday.I'm still looking ahead,so I must be ok so far. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2167
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 11:47 pm: |
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Rustang says:
"The young dream of tommorrow.The old dream of yesterday.I'm still looking ahead,so I must be ok so far."
Cynique says:
"Way to go, Guy!"
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 2168
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 17, 2005 - 11:53 pm: |
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Destined, I didn't mean to be so rude. What you and Kola should have told me was that if don't want to be bored with your posts then I have the option of not reading them. This has finally occurred to me. So, write on, ladies! |
Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 10
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 12:48 am: |
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Thanks, Cynique |
Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 13
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 10:58 am: |
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Kola:
Just what are your feelings, Destined? Can we at least get that out in the open?
Destined: I think that flirting is healthy. I do it and it's quite harmless when both parties are aware. ABM e-mails and talks to my dearest friend of twenty years. They flirt with each other at times when visiting.
I understand that she and ABM read a lot of the same types of books and those issues are a lot more stimulating to him.
In contrast, I'm in Mommy mode and her hubby is in Daddy mode. We have more things in common. When they visit, he and I talk about our newest home project or what we think about the garden, the kids, etc. I’ve even asked him to assist me around the house.
On the other hand, ABM and my girlfriend get right into sparring matches. She says he's sexist as well. I know her and even though she's a big time executive with a major company, she's loves the challenge of going up against him. Let's face it, it's sexy!! Most of us, (perhaps Dworkin would have been excluded) want our men to lay it down with a little strength at times. It makes for great foreplay.
That's one part of him that I love but I also love his softer side. My friend let's me know what they're fussing about, etc. Not everything, but enough to keep me comfortable. It's no secret. Now, as my mother-in-law so gently puts it 'Watch her @!#!' (smile) And, I shall.
The problem here is....what's the big secret? He should have been forthright and honest. This is a social gathering. I believe people in cyber space think they're invisible because they don’t use their given names. And, why wouldn't you think that I would ever see the things that were written? If your heart jumps, you laugh, get angry or blush when you see a posting by an anonymous person, that’s a sign that a real exchange of emotions are happening. That’s called building a relationship. I don’t build relationships with men that ABM doesn’t know about. As you know, we women can feel for a man without ever having sex. I’m not saying that’s you, just saying ‘Think about it’. I think you know these things.
If he had once said "Baby, you know I like @#&!!ing with women, I'm just having fun" or "Kola and I have discussed some pretty intense things, I can't share them with you but it's nothing to worry about", that would be a lot like the right thing to do.
Kola:And we've been Pen-Pals for YEARS and shared many of our most intimate secrets and swapped advice.
Destined wants to say to Kola:
That is out of order. If I believed in man-sharing, and I don't, I'd be the (HWIC) Head Wife In Charge. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that position comes with a lot more respect than I received. This is about respect. I deserve it from him, if from no one else here.
Hope that explains some things for you?
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 184
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 01:36 pm: |
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You're totally right, Destined.
I'm glad you got that off your chest.
AND....for the past days, I've been thinking about this situation....and the TRUTH IS....
...I really do have underlying "romantic/sexual" feelings towards ABM, and although I would never disrespect you or your position with him (and he wouldn't allow that anyway)....if you two were ever to break up or part ways....
I would definitely want to meet ABM, hear his voice for the first time, get to see what his eyes and smile look like, and just once--feel his hand on my arm. There's no way I would have sex with him, but I would want to smile at him and be in his presence and kiss him to smell his cologne, have coffee with him in the afternoon at a nice cafe (one inwhich the light flatters me)...and just enjoy meeting my friend.
This of course, will never happen, but...
I do WANT your husband. I admit it, I do.
It's just that I would never do anything about it--because I feel it's morally wrong.
So there it is, Charlene. What you wanted....and with that revelation....I HOPE...will come some closure for you, and of course.....for me, it will bring....the Death of my friendship with ABM forever.
Which is very painful, because even though we were only BUDDIES and never had anything romantic or sexual----I adore him in a way that is "otherworldly" just by virtue of the fact that I have never seen him, spoken to him and don't even know his name.
In this way, he is like GOD, unseen but a reality---a Biblical figure in my reality.
I love him very much and I am very, very sad for my loss today, I seem to be losing a lot lately.....and I wish you both all the best, I hope that ABM learns from his mistakes here and doesn't disrespect you this way again and I hope that you'll realize that ABM is a wealthy man....if he wanted to fly here to California and pursue me, he could've been doing that for years---but instead, he never allowed a phone conversation or for me to know his name. Because of YOU--I know what city/area you live in, and I did a book tour there at a lesbian gathering that was open to the public---I am confident that ABM was not there, which would have been so easy for him to meet me and size me up without me even knowing about it. Obviously, his actions towards me have been nothing other than a mix of flirtatious kidding and southern gentile professionalism. He's a true charmer, but his BARK never leads to a bite. He never tried to fuck around with me and he never....WANTED me.
I really hope you don't push this any further.
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Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 15
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 03:01 pm: |
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Hmmm, You're not saying anything I didn't already know.
Thanks for your honesty. |
Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 17
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 03:49 pm: |
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Kola: ...I really do have underlying "romantic/sexual" feelings towards ABM, and although I would never disrespect you or your position with him (and he wouldn't allow that anyway)....if you two were ever to break up or part ways....
I would definitely want to meet ABM, hear his voice for the first time, get to see what his eyes and smile look like, and just once--feel his hand on my arm. There's no way I would have sex with him, but I would want to smile at him and be in his presence and kiss him to smell his cologne, have coffee with him in the afternoon at a nice cafe (one inwhich the light flatters me)...and just enjoy meeting my friend.
This of course, will never happen, but...
I do WANT your husband. I admit it, I do.
Destined: You have got to be kidding me!!! I think that your creative writing may lend itself to extreme positioning. I wasn’t attempting to get a confession from you. In fact, I would rather not have known. However, It was quite lyrical!! I'm sure that you didn't mean that. I never thought that he would leave me. It's that respect thing again. (smile)
P.S. I love some of your opinions on different issues. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2334
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 03:52 pm: |
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Destined,
I know now that what I’ve done with Kola has been a violation of our marriage.
I pray that you will forgive me, because I can’t imagine my life without you. Honestly, were you to leave me, I would wish to die.
I love you – and ONLY you - so much, Baby.
And I am SORRY. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 187
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 03:54 pm: |
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On the contrary, DESTINED---I write just the way I talk.
I'm a very colorful woman, Cynique would say a "drama queen"---so lyricism is always right on the tip of my twitching little tongue.
Yes, **Smile**
And no. I wasn't kidding you.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 2335
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 03:56 pm: |
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Kola,
Let it go, girl...let it go! (PLEASE!) |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 188
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 04:00 pm: |
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(***Rolling HUGE eyes***)
THANK GOD that's over. ABM finally came through.
DESTINED---
you would be a FOOOL to leave him.
You shouldn't even be putting him through this.
Sure, he made a "misjudgement"---but making a public spectacle like this OVER NOTHING and making both him and I squirm, when we BOTH have so much admiration and respect for you and were both clearly SORRY and felt like shit (as I do), and didn't do anything in the first place....is just too much.
I really hope this is over and you two continue it private.
PLEASE.
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Destined
Newbie Poster
Username: Destined
Post Number: 18
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, April 18, 2005 - 04:09 pm: |
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Kola:
LOL. He needed to squirm.(wink) However, will do. |
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