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Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 09:13 pm: |
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Just a few thoughts on feelings/emotions/L.O.V.E. Feel free to add your own. ((Please note that I often just freestyle my thoughts and they = the final product. Most of this stuff is just that.)) "With Tears" Beautifulwaterstar (2003) And it's not that I wanted to hurt him No.. I would never want to do that, never.. But the thought of 'forever' Now being a non-issue invokes in him an unutterable sadness, fortified with a deep madness Of some sort.. If I could abort His feelings, my empathy from my mind For any moment of time, I would perhaps feel heartless But I can't keep pushing back what is coming regardless Because what happens to the gums that are too long pacified? They get swollen, they become so sore with pain.. No, I would never want to do that. Only misery would there be to gain.. I tried to tell him, no I tried to introduce him To the undying possibility of Reality But his heart's ear close the door to his mind's totality. I didn't want to hide it and so in trying to be honest In trying to tell some of what I know he would soon Be forced to see or acknowledge somehow someway, I opened a can of worms and the things won't stop sqiurming. Meanwhile, my heart has moved on and his heart is still yearning. I don't want to hurt him, I don't But I know that there really is little I can do to balance off any ill emotions I can't sit and go through the motions No.. Never for too long anyhow Still I will never forget how With tears he looked in my eyes And then wouldn't hardly even look my way After I said even a mere 1/4 of what I had to say.. I knew it was going to happen one day And I know he knew that it was going to happen, too I just don't think he was ready for that day to be today, and I would never want him to be blue I just want him to be happy. Really, I do. He had these immobile tears in his eyes.. They were just immobile. They refused to fall But they refused to dry up and disappear. And I kind of felt a tear inside my heart, But for some reason, tears don't make it to my face much over such these days.. I still care about his feelings though. I did not cry, I just stood and told myself That he was going to have to atleast acknowledge the possibilities some day or another.. Still, I really want for him to be happy.. But if I kept waiting for him to be happy, I'd probably be waiting a lifetime and that's no fairer Or fair I said in my mind that I would wait until things were clearer before I went there But things are moving at a faster pace And I know that probably sooner than later He would see my face Pressed up against yours, Like mine used to press up against his and such.. I hope that for you this is not too much I just had to express how I felt And still I haven't really clearly described How I felt when I mentioned other people in our lives, When he had those tears, that he struggled so hard to keep in their place, in his eyes...
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Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 12:05 am: |
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(Oh that was written about not wanting to hurt someone I was no longer with..) Next.. "Letting Go" ("Feel No Way") Latrice Martin Hmm.. Should I feel a way because I feel no way? See, Love is within and all around.. Therefore, I feel no way. Perhaps you resent that.. And perhaps at one time, I would have resented that.. But that's when I was looking in the river, trying to catch the big picture's reflection.. As I've said, love is within and all around.. I love U today as I loved U yesterday as I will love U tomorrow, And all the days after that.. The frequencies never lie though.. If your happiness is my lack of happiness and I don't will that, Does that make me selfish? If we live a lie that looks good to ppl who don't have to deal with the misery that we will feel at the day's end, are we doing the "right thing"? What the heck is a right thing anyway? Who trying to find and keep balance even wants a "right" thing? That alone goes against the whole concept of balance. Well.. Some may reason if U don't want "right" U'll eventually get "left", but if you want either, we're just on different pages. Doesn't necessarily mean I'm before or after you, In fact, do you know how very many ppl have "finished" the book yet still don't know crap? See, We were busy complaining about the seating the whole while the fat lady was singin'.. Yeah.. The alarm clock went off a long time ago, we just kept pressin' Snooze 'cuz we ain't "wanna" wake up. Plus it can get real cold out there, why leave comfort for the unknown? Comfort can will stagnate. U know what happens to muscles U don't use? Okay, dig it. When a Bandaid is over an otherwise open wound, the wound can hide and you can even postpone better care for a while.. But the thing with Bandaids is that When they are snatched away, it hurts.. Why keep hangin' on so tightly to a thinning rope? Why just not acknowledge what needs to be acknowledged and release? U know.. In all the hit songs, the singers say something like,"Before I hurt you, I would hurt myself." But I am not them.. Besides, I don't listen to the radio much, But I do listen to my spirit and the song I keep hearing Does not go "Before I hurt you, I would hurt myself" (Besides they' be lyin' anyway. ) It goes "Before you do any of that, you would just let him go.." U know my thoughts we I know yours.. I not saying much because I am listening to your silence, Analyzing the vibrations Noooo. No..You don't mean any of those otherwise hurtful things, You're just reacting to the snatched Bandaid is all The truth is like alcohol, burning at first but it heals.. See what's going on here is that I snatched the Band-Aid Quite some time ago.. It's like jumping into a cold pool.. When the cold water is new to the body, it feels shock. When reality is new to the mind, it often feels shock Gotta give your spirit time to warm to it all.. Hey Can you just stop changin' channels.. No better yet, can you just turn the Ego off? Can you see me with your mind, hear me with your heart As my spirit says I love you today as I loved you yesterday as I will love you tomorrow and all the days after that.. Now let us just release each other in love...
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Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 12:08 am: |
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**DAGNABBIT, I dun posted ma REAL name! lol Oh well. **
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Lambd
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 07:58 am: |
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Don't you fret none Latrice Martin. We already knew you on the inside. |
Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 08:58 am: |
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Nall, Lambd! It ain't about YAWL knowin'! NOW RAY RAY GON' LOG ON AN' SEE DAT SUMMA DEEZ POEMS ABOUT HIM! *eek* lol Just buggin'. Thank you, Lambd.. Your response was summin' I could definitely shake my head up and down about. Dass real cool, Bro.. Real cool. |
Anonymous
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 09:51 am: |
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Beautifulwaterstar, I love your stuff..and LAMBD, you sure can expresss yourself as well. I'm feeling kind of poetic this morning, so please, try this on for size: EVERYTHING AIN'T EVERYTHING...BUT IT'S EVERYTHING TO ME.. I fell into you on a cool fall day Wasn’t looking for it, could do without it and yet I found it In you Exhilarating, intoxicating Touching, feeling, loving, living And it had only been a week.. Couln’t sleep, couldn’t eat, but laughed all the time Especially with you, I called you 24/7 and you answered every time.. Week 2 we dive deeper Sharing bonds meant for lovers, but we were not Not in the real since, no commitments and no promises to keep we fell deeper, choosing to ignore the warning signs Then reality hit when she found my number Ring ring Who is this? WHO IS THIS? Damn! Week 3 we suffer apart He needs space I need a sedative He needs to think I need him He needs time Time for what? I ask. Love turns to anger and anger to hate My heart is aching and he’s disappeared Leaving me alone In misery Thinking that everything ain’t everything But it was everything to me.
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Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 10:01 am: |
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OMG OMG OMG!!! OH MY GOODNESS! Listen, THOSE words just made me grab my HEART. It did something to my breath and even made me feel a certain something that I really can't explain to most sane folks without them questioning whether or not I am in fact one of them (sane.lol). Dang, a potfull of creativity/sincerity is always sure to make me do that. It happens when I hear good words, have a good feeling or hear good music, or of course.. LOL Plus thank you sooo much for lovin' my stuff. I love yours, too! Oh my gosh! Y'all have to stop throwin' so much creativity in my space because it makes me feeeeel thingssss! lol Nah though, the feeling is awesome. You guys have some wonderful talent! Dang! |
Anonymous
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 10:20 am: |
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Thank you!!! Just getting something off my chest and it FEELS GOOD TO MOVE ON. |
Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 12:44 pm: |
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Hey, you're welcome but thank YOU! :-) I innerstand completely... This one's an older one, written about someone that adored me to the bone but I was younger and took his greatness for granted. Hey, you can either live and beat yourself in the head over stuff or simply live and learn.. I choose the latter because I tend to find it much more appropiate for my growth.. "The River" Beautifulwaterstar (@1999) Hey you; I thought about you today I figured I'd walk to the post office So I could get some envelopes and stamps And finally send your letter off, But as I was walking, Spirit guided me to the river... So as I strolled along the riverwalk, Nature constantly reinforced the beauty of your existence in all reflections.. I saw you all over the trees and the water It was as if your presence was in the air So I inhaled as deeply as I could And I tried to never let it go. I COULDN'T BREATHE FOR IT! And as I held you in my breath, I reflected on what was before, What could have been But for some reason, I couldn't seem to get to what "IS"... I tried my best to sustain your essence in my lungs. By this time, I had grown a bit faint However, I was determined to keep holding you in my breath. I couldn't see, I couldn't hear Perhaps I could speak, but I didn't want to risk losing the only remnant of you I reflected again, I couldn't see you. I couldn't hear what U were saying I could, however, FEEL I felt like smiling, but I didn't want to risk losing the breath. I felt like crying, but that takes too much breath I felt like thanking you I felt like hugging you At some point, I even felt like begging you I felt like going back to when I first met you I felt like telling you that I missed you I felt like asking you if you, if you ever missed me, too. I felt like bypassing all other topics I felt like talking to you, heart to heart, soul to soul I felt like asking you to just hold me as I cried I felt like asking you to fogive me once more. I felt like wishing you divine joy in life I felt like seeing you I felt like remembering the times you would go all out of your way just to see a smile on my face. I remembered how you would write me letters and how your words would protect me from the lonliness... BUT it hurt too much! I tried to run. I tried to stop all this "feeling" But I couldn't, because deep down inside In the core of my being, I had requested this... I felt like asking you this last time to forgive me I felt like telling you I love you I felt like "feeling" you say you loved me I felt like willing you Divine Peace But this would take much breath... However, the choices were: SUFFOCATE OR BREATHE So as the breath departed, I began to see that what "was" Could never again be what "Is"... I saw two boats on the river, going to and fro, Just passing each other, but the river kept flowing The river kept flowing It kept flowing... I offered my dime And when I looked into her (the river), I saw my reflection in her... Even with all the coming and going, She was at peace with her flowing I saw my reflection in her... I made peace with my flow And I, once again, could breathe!! *Hey, completely off subject, am I the only one that gets the "Woah, that seems OLD" feeling when typing "1999"? lol *
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Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 01:11 pm: |
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Mmkay. I'm gonna actually stop clicking the minimize button and finish that stuff. (But good vibes are really addictive..) Dis one ya call "Like The Moon" "Like The Moon" Beautifulwaterstar (2003) Yes, You articulated that which I never said with my vocals Your spirit sees that which is, as if it is a pair of bifocals.. It was so profound to me.. You said That I am so close yet so far away Yes... It is true. And I know you didn't mean it primarily in this way But it is so true So close we are, yet so far away For it is the song of me and you. Or is it more gramatically correct to say you and I? No rules of heart when two hearts rule, It is only because they are unified... I envisioned me, you, and the moon, Just like you requested And get this analogy my spirit suggested YOU are like the moon I look up at you And behold, how CLOSE you are! And the closer I feel I get to you Makes me realize that you are very far Hey, have you ever tried to chase the moon in your car? I have. You can drive for hours and never catch up with it You could be exhausted and full winded, But the moon will be right there, As you stare Almost as if to tease you but without trying There's no denying You just can't reach the moon like that, in your car It's way, way too far But no, look. Look how it's so close. It's so close. You're so far No but you're so close No, but you're so far My emotions would be the car And I already know what the result would be at this point in time, But ah; look how very CLOSE you are in my heart, my mind.
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Lambd
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Saturday, October 25, 2003 - 06:43 pm: |
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Beautiful, Waterstar! |
ssmoothe
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, October 28, 2003 - 04:21 pm: |
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Oh that's my piece "Everything" by SSMOOTHE2003 Took me a moment to come up with a moniker, I think I'll stick with this one for awhile. Peace
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Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Thursday, October 30, 2003 - 11:35 am: |
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lolololol@ Ssmoothe Okay den! lolol Dass a cool one, too. Lambd, luv ya tuh pieces. Thanx, Bro. Hmm.. I feel like freestyling again for some reason. Typing as I go, a true artist des not commit treason Against his/her own philosophy. What is this, a mockery of my existence A "joke" about the thing I take most seriously? Or maybe it is that you just do not care.. Yeah.. Maybe it's just that you don't care. I go where Other people don't Because they fear or just won't And I do it because I am a true artist A healer I feel tah Heal through my words But in this society, who really wants that? Doesn't matter to me I'm much more concerned with "who really NEEDS that"? 14 year old girls mad at teachers cuz they wouldn't give 'em they' weed back Third graders describing oh TOO well How people act when they' on crack Broken homes, Broken hearts Broken And I.. No I am not at all disconnected from this web of brokeness But if a wise soul goes back, It is only to retrack So that he/she can innerstand what going forward will take A perfect person does not Experience make Yet a 'wise' person learns from his/her lessons And knows how to cut the losses as early as possible Is world peace REALLY plausible When the people who populate the world fulla crap? World peace is a myth cuz ppl don't know how to act To be totally honest, I don't even really have time to focus on world peace Not when my nephew or niece Will probably be treated as less than Simply because of the beautiful skin that they are in. World peace is car that don't run But looks real good. Hey you know what? I think I should Stop freestyling all these tangents And (before too long anyway) make up a poem about how true peace will be unheard of on this planet. Anyway, Why don't you all freestyle a lil' summin'? I know yawl got skillz, don't be frontin' Matter fact, where 'da true emceez?/Come correct, don't step if your status is preceded by "tease"/Please/I don't flow like this/But it goes like this/I be 'da lyricist/Versatile like Crisco to black ppl, you hearin' dis?/Global minority be fearin' this/Which is why they push to make the world look no bigger than America/Open your minds and find the REAL reason why they stare at'cha/Um. Let me stop cuz I get carried away/I'll be up here wilin' and freestylin' like all day. lol
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Whateverhappenedtossmoothe2003
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Wednesday, December 03, 2003 - 02:25 pm: |
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ssmoothe2003, a.k.a. 'anonymous', what happened to that poet? |
ssmoothe2003
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 08:44 am: |
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Hey, hey, hey...i'm still all up in the place, enjoying the space (smile) but i'm incognito right now. I'ma come up with something soon...so who's asking? Is it you Beautifulwaterstar? |
Beautifulwaterstar
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 02:35 pm: |
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Smoooothe, wasup there, Sis? Everything good? (I hope so..) lol And no that wasn't me (atleast not "this" time. :p) We'll be looking forward to that, also.. |
Lambd
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Thursday, December 04, 2003 - 03:00 pm: |
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Ssmoothe2003, I really enjoyed what little stuff you posted and I was just hoping that you would bless us again. I didn't mean to be anonymous, I thought posting your name in a smashed message might bring you out. Didn't mean to offend or step on any shoes.---Peace |
ssmoothe2003
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | Posted on Tuesday, December 09, 2003 - 10:16 am: |
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Oh, I feel so honored that you would call me out Lambd. Thank you, more to come...Peace |
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