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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 282
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, February 12, 2006 - 11:14 pm: | 
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I have always like to think that I came from a proud black family. My father was a lightskinned high yellow man and my mother was a deep dark chocolate woman. I never once heard my parents say anything bad about dark-skinned people. I was with my brother and his Latina wife the other day and my brother was so proud of his two little light-skinned daughter. He made a joke that one of his daughters was black and the other one was Mexican. I was a little disturbed by that. He was actually proud of the fact that he was able to produce a non-black child. He told me once that he did not want to be with a black woman because he thought that they were not beautiful in his eyes. My sister claims to hate dark-skinned black men. Probably becuase she was discriminated by them.(I don't really know, but I am not making excuses for her either). But I myself love black ppl and black women. Where did this hate for blackness come from in my family? Who started it? How did we perpetuate it? I try to find answers but no one can seem to help me. What do you think? Should my parents have done more to instill love for our culture in us? How can I change tthe tide? I have an eight year old nephew and I want to teach him to love his culture. How do I do that? |
Kaotic
Newbie Poster
Username: Kaotic
Post Number: 3
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 12:55 am: |
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Lead by example!
If you feel that your nephew will not learn about his culture properly from your brother and his wife then you should give your nephew as well as your niece examples of their black culture. Give them illustrations and literature that will let them know where their ancestors derived from. I'm sure that their Latin side of the family will definitely teach them about their culture. Let them know it is acceptable to be a black individual. More than acceptable. |
Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 123
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 07:00 am: |
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don't let him come to this site and see anything tonya, prettybabygirl, or kola buff posts or he will definitly be like your brother. other than that, if those kids are around your mother than she will prolly have the most influence on what they'll think of pertaining to dark skinned black women. you said that your parents didn't make any bad comments about darker skinned brothers and sisters, so i assume that they didn't over rate those who where lighter skinned. your brother and sister may have different preferences than you, it happens, i don't think that this automatically means that they hate other black people because they are darker than them (unless they actually said it ... or act like tiger woods or clarence thomas) ... i personally don't find overweight women attractive at all, but i don't hate them. as far as your nephew goes, you can say what you feel, but he's your nephew not your son and unless you become the sole guardian you can only do so much. |
Truthquest
Newbie Poster
Username: Truthquest
Post Number: 2
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 02:32 pm: |
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I think that’s an interesting notion that you bring up Serenasailor. I'm not so sure that the answer to your question is necessarily enhancing your nephew's view of black culture. I think that how we as individuals perceive beauty is influenced by our family and peers through socialization, and in part, by personal preferences that we develop as we mature.
Considering that we live in a society where the beauty paradigm is constructed around Euro-Caucasoid features (i.e. pale skin, light hair and eyes, and aquiline noses), it's not hard to see why many people, even people from Afro-negritic backgrounds, would see anything close to these Euro-Caucasoid features as aesthetically acceptable. However, I realized that this is because society is ruled by Euro-Caucasoid people. If an African derived people ruled society, then people would want to look like, act like, and be like them.
I think that we all eventually will have to question the basis for our own considerations of beauty. Not so long ago, I had to question my own notions about beauty. Was my preferences based on society or were they based on things that I actually find aesthetically pleasing. To me beauty has no color, per se. I can appreciate beauty in all so-called races, whether they are blue-black or pale white. However, as a person of African descent, I choose to build my beauty paradigm around African features and expand from there. Essentially, that's what considerations of beauty boil down to, a personal choice or preference.
If I were you, I would encourage my nephew not to place limitations on beauty as so many others do. Even white people play the same game when they say they prefer blondes to brunettes or vice-versa.
Anyway, to me, it is rather infantile for someone’s beauty paradigm to be based solely on skin color or hair color. But people will be people. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4327
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 10:33 am: |
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Serenasailor,
The best thing you can do for your nephew is be a good uncle to him, marry a Black woman, raises some Black daughters and treat them and all the other women in your life very well.
None of that will ensure your nephew will feel about Black women the way you prefer him to. But that will likely provide the best shot of influencing him.
And realize and accept that, ultimately, the whom and why of how your nephew love is NOT for you to decide. That is his and HIS decision...ALONE. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 913
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 02:21 pm: |
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Abm:
"The best thing you can do for your nephew is be a good uncle to him, marry a Black woman, raises some Black daughters and treat them and all the other women in your life very well."
Moonsigns:
Yep--because the minute he's told to stay away from non-black women is the minute his interest/curiousity about this "forbidden fruit" (LMAO!!!!) will begin.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1796
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 05:00 pm: |
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Show 'im a picture of Moonsigns....
That way he'll get the subliminal message that the "forbidden fruit"...
is stank, nasty, and rotten....
That's how you wanna do it, son: subliminally.
That's how the white man does it. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 914
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, February 14, 2006 - 10:36 pm: |
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Now, now, Tonya. Go eat some Valentine chocolates. Walk on your trusty treadmill. Just boost your endorphins somehow--so you can pick that very tight wedgie out of your very unauthentic, flat ass.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1802
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 10:37 am: |
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How original. You, Cynnique, and Enchanment seem to be fixated on my ass. Pucker up next time! I'll try to pretty up that face by blowing you a big one. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3901
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 11:51 am: |
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I am highly suspicious that your ass looks just like your face, Tonya. heh-heh. And since in your desire to rhapsodize yourself, you were foolish enough to reveal the size of your butt, thus giving others fodder for taunts, I will continue to dish it out to someone who is fixated on the color of light-skinned folks. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1803
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 01:18 pm: |
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Unfortunately, I don't have the luxury of having to guess. Due to your failed attemp at wrting, I know exactly how your dreadful face looks, pooooor thing. You can only WISH your face looked half as good as my smooth, brown ass. LOL
Oh, well. Maybe in another life, Crip Keeper.
LOL. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3903
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 01:47 pm: |
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Believe me, Tonya, there is nothing about you and your miserable self that I would wish for. And that includes the color that's brings you nothing but heartache and the grotesque face that reflects your inner ugliness. Po thang. Now go run back and suck on Kola's big juicy tit. BTW, glad you liked my book. LMAO. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1805
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 02:01 pm: |
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Would y'all please come up with some originality up in this joint!!!....
I say "poor thing" so you say "po thang." Come on! Is that how we're playing??
Yawn. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1806
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 02:06 pm: |
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Oh and trust me, I did not read your book. I just looked at the picture and said "Damn. That's one ugly broad." She ain't got shit to tell me! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3906
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, February 15, 2006 - 02:19 pm: |
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Puleeze. I've been saying "po thang" before you ever saw the light of day! And I can understand that you would'nt be interested in reading my book. That's the way I feel about kola's diary. But unlike her, I can deal with a person's "rejection." heh-heh |
Black_wisdom_
Newbie Poster
Username: Black_wisdom_
Post Number: 2
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 12:10 pm: |
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Black people just do not have it easy in this society, and it's sad that despite the best efforts of your parents, your siblings have fell victim to the racial vulgarity of this country. I think your siblings' attitudes might have come from numerous encounters with non-family, all designed to brainwash them with the belief that black people are just not acceptable. Why wouldn't your brother want non-black children (particularly girls) when almost every encounter that he has with the media culture says that partially black is better than all black? It's sad.
What you should do for your nephew is ensure that you remain a strong, self-loving role model. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 290
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:30 pm: |
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My nephew is not my brothers son. He is my older sister's son. My brother has to bi-racial daughters. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 291
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:34 pm: |
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Cynique, I find it funny how you somehow turn all of these threads into being about you. You are so freakin childish. Stop insulting ppl to get attention. Grow a brain, and finish the second grade! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3942
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:39 pm: |
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So are so simple-minded, serenasailor you aren't even worth arguing with. You're just pissed cuz I don't dance to the same ol off-key tune you are always trying to sing so you have to try and create false scenarios. Pitiful. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 295
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 06:50 pm: |
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First of all Cynique. I don't have to create a false scenarios. I actually unlike you have a "life". I was speaking about a situation that is really going on in my family. I guess interesting things must never happen in your family. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3945
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, February 16, 2006 - 08:39 pm: |
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You were implying that in the exchange between
tonya and me that I was trying to make it all about myself. And frankly, SS, I dont' give a shit about you, your stupid screen name or your boring family. Buh Bye! |
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