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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 108
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 12:58 am: | 
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This is a very incendiary subject, one that I have always detested. It is a very painful and depressing subject. One that is practically irreversibly etched into the psyche of all black people no matter what their nationality or geographical place of residence is. But I had to post it.
In Search of Good Hair - African American Culture
Since I was young, I have always been confused and annoyed by the term "good hair". Those feelings surfaced again a few months ago while I was having my hair done in a Southern California salon. My stylist had just finished rinsing the perm from my hair and was about to put me under the dryer when a customer remarked, "Oooh girl, people might think that you are mixed now that it looks like you have good hair." I rolled my eyes and shook my head. I had no idea of what to say. There I was in an all black salon and I could hardly believe that this person, a black woman about my complexion (rich-cocoa colored), with a short fade haircut, could say such a thing. What further puzzled me was that I had no idea why she would make such a comment. Did she think I would like myself better if people thought I had "good hair"? What did being "mixed" have to do with anything and, most importantly, what the heck was "good hair"?
From her comment, I realized that this woman thought "good hair" was synonymous with straight, long hair. In addition, she thought that she was paying me a compliment and looked a bit hurt that I did not respond. This saddened me, as I thought most Black Americans my age or younger had progressed beyond this. Obviously not. Maybe it is just a Southern California thing. Out here, everyone, including black folks, are constantly striving for that "Malibu/Valley Girl" look. Why can't we just be ourselves and get on with our lives?
I thought back to the hairstylist I had when I lived in Maryland. Leah, a black woman, thought everyone could have "good hair". That is because according to her definition, good hair was hair that was cut and styled in such a way as to compliment the person's face,lifestyle, and image. Since Leah was so talented that she could have even made Medusa look good, to her there was no such thing as bad hair. Not all Black Americans share her opinion. Some of us still have a mentality that is left-over from the days of slavery and that is perpetuated by the media (which still mostly portrays beautiful women as those with long, straight, and usually blond hair). To those blacks, "whiter" is better. Most of them won't admit it, but they truly believe that skin tone, eye color, and hair texture determine the status of a person. It is very sad.
As I look back through my life's experiences, I see how pervasive that mentality has been, even in my own family. I remember being in elementary school and every two weeks going to my grandmom's house so she could do my hair. I remember sitting at the kitchen table,my hair just washed and dried, with a bottle of Ultra Sheen in front of me. Grandmom would part my hair into little sections, dip the straightening comb (which was hot from the stove) into the hair oil and pull it through my hair. Periodically throughout the process, my grandmother would lightly place the straightening comb on a paper towel to make sure it wasn't too hot. If it burned the towel, she let it cool off a bit. Even if didn't, I still remember how my hair, if still a bit damp from being washed, would sizzle from the heat of the comb and how the steam that resulted would singe my scalp. The house would smell like burnt hair for hours. After my grandmother finished straightening my hair, she would then go back and use the curling iron to twist each strand into a tight roll of shining hair. When she was through, she would tie a scarf on my head and send me on my way. There would be no rough playing, messing with my hair, or engaging in any activities that might get it wet. We had to make sure my hair stayed "fresh" for church on Sunday. No "nappy heads" were allowed. I hated those days.
Fortunately, when I reached junior high school, my mother stopped sending me to my grandmom's to get my hair done and by the time I was in high school, I was doing my own hair. Since I played volleyball and tennis and ran track, I had my then shoulder-length hair cut short. It was great. Though my grandmother almost had a heart attack - "Why in the world would I want to cut off my pretty hair so I could look like a boy?" - I loved it.
Throughout college and for a few years after, I kept my hair short. Most of the time, I wore it natural in a short boxy crew-cut style that greatly accentuated my face. I loved to rub my hair just after it was cut to feel its soft, kinky texture. I often received compliments on my hair and both men and women would stop me to ask, "Who does your hair? You look so good with it." No one could tell me that I didn't have "good hair".
Throughout the years, I have worn my hair permed, natural, short, mid-length, and in braids - whatever suited my mood and lifestyle at the time. The black & white picture of me that appears on this site, is almost two years old. At that time, I was trying to get my husband to stop smoking. Nothing was working and I couldn't understand why he couldn't just stop. One day, he responded, "It is too much of an effort. Just like if you tried to let your hair grow, you'd have to change your whole routine. You are used to getting up in the morning, quickly combing your hair and going. What would you do if you had to get up early to curl your hair? What would I do if I couldn't smoke? I'd have to find a new routine. It's the same thing." Though I did not agree with his logic, I made him a bet. I would let my hair grow if he would stop smoking. You know what? My husband proved to be at least somewhat correct.
Though many people thought I had "good hair" as I was letting it grow, it was anything but that. In fact, my hair was much harder to take care of. I had to have it permed more often, sleep with hard rollers in my hair, and spend lots of time under a hair dryer and with a curling iron in my hand. In addition, the compliments I received changed from how good I looked with my hairstyle to how good my hair looked. There is a difference. Though I wore my hair in a nice style, longer straighter hair made me look average and ordinary. Short, textured hair, on the other hand, helped bring out my features and accent my eyes. A few weeks ago, with that in mind, I had my hair cut. Though it brought tears some of the other customers in the salon, I rejoiced. I once again had "good hair".
There are many black women out there who can relate to my story. We have finally come to terms with who we are and what we look like. Be it kinky, curly, natural, permed, short, long, straight or braided, we know that our hair is only as good as what we make of it. To all my sisters still in search of "good hair", one day you will realize that it already exists on top of your head.
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Mrs_hart
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mrs_hart
Post Number: 145
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 07:30 am: |
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These people OBVIOUSLY have issues.
It's Black people's job to nurture their children.
If this idiot is having this much problems with her identity, I think that she had better do the world a favor and not procreate.
You would think that she and her family were brought up on the moon, as they are so DISCONNECTED from themselves and reality.
It's like: "Oh, my gosh, I suddenly woke up with this nappy stuff and don't know what to do with it!!!! I've NEVER seen this stuff before!!!!"
Sounds like a racist soap opera. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1488
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 09:47 am: |
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******Though I wore my hair in a nice style, longer straighter hair made me look average and ordinary. Short, textured hair, on the other hand, helped bring out my features and accent my eyes.******
I can totally relate to that. When I wear my hair short (Halle/Fantasia style) I look my best, because my best features are on my face. My eyes, nose, cheekbones, and lips are all noticeably attractive -- short hair frames and brings them all out. On the other hand, when I wear my hair long, the attention is drawn away from my face and I am nothing to brag about, in fact, I end up looking trashy, IMO. Ironically, I get more attention from brothas, and black people in general, this way. Like the author, my mother is always begging me not to cut my "pretty" hair, too. When it comes to whites and other non-black people, however, they compliment my beauty the most when I'm wearing my hair short, which is true; I actually look better with short hair. I think black people's fascination with long hair is to the point where it's completely irrational.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3542
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 10:07 am: |
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If we love our hair, our hair will love us. |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 508
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 11:18 am: |
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Tonya, are you tall? I'm just curious, because most taller people look very striking with short hair. It kind of highlights how long the face and neck are. I tried that a couple of time. It only highlighted how short my neck is. Here, the REALLY tall girls look spectacular with very short (nearly bald) hair.
Anyone under 5'5" should wear their hair at least shoulder length or in an Afro or in Afro puffs, but that's just my opinion.
I personally believe that if it's clean and healthy, it's good hair. |
Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie
Post Number: 601
Registered: 06-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 11:26 am: |
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Has anyone seen that "faux hawk" hairstyle? Fantasia has a variation on one. I think it's the best short hairstyle to come out for black women since the 1920's. I think it should be a female only hairstyle. It looks better on black females than white guys, anyway.
I'm 6'0",and I was thinking of getting that "faux hawk" myself, but everyone keeps telling me to keep my hair long...... or is that just the "good hair" syndrome speaking?
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 515
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 12:00 pm: |
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Well, my hair is long, but nappy. I don't get what the two have to do with each other. I always thought 'good hair' meant not as kinky, more on the straight side, etc.
From what I understand, you can get that look with longer hair, but you will probably need more styling products....I'm not sure. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1491
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 12:22 pm: |
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Reneta, I'm 5'7" -- I'm not sure if that's tall for a female. I've always been taller than most women I know though. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 132
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 04:16 pm: |
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5'7 is tall for a woman Tonya. I feel bad that we as black ppl are still struggling with this issue. What happened to the "Black is Beautiful" era? Like Kola said" Black women only walk around in White Girl drag and Spanish Girl drag because we black men don't accept then as black. What a shame!! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 3552
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 05:01 pm: |
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Now, according to you, serenasailor, I guess tall black women are FULL OF SELF HATE. A 5'7" woman is not an outstanding basketball prospect or does she have a shot at being a runway model which means this height is in the average bracket. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 140
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, January 25, 2006 - 05:30 pm: |
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"Now, according to you, serenasailor, I guess tall black women are FULL OF SELF HATE. A 5'7" woman is not an outstanding basketball prospect or does she have a shot at being a runway model which means this height is in the average bracket"
Okay I never said that. You totally must have misunderstood what I said. I just said that 5'7 was tall for a woman. I didn't say anything about them hating themselves. I think tall women are Sexy. Secondly, I just asked what ever happened to the black is beautiful era? |
Samater
Veteran Poster
Username: Samater
Post Number: 71
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 01:00 am: |
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Whatever hair god blesses you with... |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 113
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 01:38 am: |
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Serenasailor wrote: "Okay I never said that. You totally must have misunderstood what I said. I just said that 5'7 was tall for a woman."
Depends on where you live. European women are much taller than American women. Anyone who has been to Germany, the Netherlands, Norway or the Scandinavian nations will confirm this. When I was in Australia I noticed the difference right away. In fact, I was stunned to see how tall the women were! I'm 5'11" and the majority of women I met or saw were as tall as I am or taller. Same thing when I was in Scotland. I encountered plenty of women who were taller (in fact, I recall standing next to a Scottish woman who was about 64 she appeared to be a teenager of 16 or 17 years of age!) or looking me eye to eye. The ones that were shorter than me were not shorter by much. Being a short guy, I had no problems with it since I like tall women. But I was initially shocked by the difference in height when compared to American women.
People in North America were far taller than those in Europe in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, in fact the tallest in the world. However, several nations and many nations in Europe, have now surpassed the US in terms of average height. Most markedly is the Netherlands where average height has increased at the greatest rates. For instance: the Netherlands was in the late nineteenth century a land renowned for its short population, but today it has the tallest average in the world with young males averaging 6 ft 0.5 in tall. And the Dutch are now well known in Europe for extreme tallness.
When I lived in Japan I noticed an extreme difference in height between the older Japanese and the younger generation (post 1970) . The difference was like comparing two different races. However, they are not as tall as the Europeans on the average but they are taller than most Americans think. I do recall meeting a woman in the Philippines who was about 61. Now that was extreme and very rare. Most Filipinas are very short. A height of 57 would be very tall for a Pilipino woman. And as far as American women are concerned, I guess it could be considered tall. But I think it depends on the generation.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4017
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 07:46 am: |
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Tonya,
"When I wear my hair short (Halle/Fantasia style) I look my best, because my best features are on my face. My eyes, nose, cheekbones, and lips are all noticeably attractive -- short hair frames and brings them all out...Ironically, I get more attention from brothas, and black people in general, this way. Like the author, my mother is always begging me not to cut my "pretty" hair, too. When it comes to whites and other non-black people, however, they compliment my beauty the most when I'm wearing my hair short, which is true; I actually look better with short hair."
You really outtah see somebody about your self-esteem issues.
Hahahahaha!!! |
Mrs_hart
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mrs_hart
Post Number: 172
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 08:12 am: |
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"Like Kola said" Black women only walk around in White Girl drag and Spanish Girl drag because we black men don't accept then as black. What a shame!!"----Absolute BULLSHIT.
Have you no eyes nor ears? It's all about being Black these days. Black people have always loved to STYLE---and most are FABULOUS AT IT.
I notice that on American Idol, it's ALL ABOUT THE BLACK THANG.
Whites and others are getting collegen in their lips, getting plastic surgery on their asses to create some BOOTY.
Whites and others are WORKING IT OUT over there at OLD TRAIN.
One youngin' told me that "White people have no culture." Another little girl said that "White people are bland and that is why they all want to sing, dance and "act" black.
Wah! Wah! Waaaaah!
And as far as Kola is concerned, I mean she fucked Osama and is trying to sell books on it.
Her fiance left her and according to HER, she was supposed to be the BADDEST OF THE BAD BLACK WOMAN.
Everybody is NOT going to LIKE you! Get OVER IT!
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 533
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 10:03 am: |
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NTSF, do you think American women are getting shorter or taller with each generation?
Also, Japan must send all of the short guys here and keep the taller ones over there. Most Japanese men I've personally met are about my height or not much taller. I'm 5'2". |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1529
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 10:51 am: |
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"Tonya, You really outtah see somebody about your self-esteem issues."
LoL, Abm.... I'll try to tone it down.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4026
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 10:55 am: |
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Either that, or tryout for Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model.
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Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 116
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 02:22 pm: |
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Renata wrote: NTSF, do you think American women are getting shorter or taller with each generation?
### They are getting taller but they are not as tall as European women. Each generation, tends to be taller than its predecessor. I know that I am taller than my father and grand father. I was average for my generation but now I am short for the present generation (post 1970). I have noticed the difference in height when I was young and the current young generation of males. Big difference.
Also, Japan must send all of the short guys here and keep the taller ones over there. Most Japanese men I've personally met are about my height or not much taller. I'm 5'2".
### Ha! Ha! Ha! Yeah, well, the younger males in Japan are on the average taller than 52. Trust me. As I stated, the older Japanese who survived WWII and those who were born before 1970 are shorter than those who are young. And you will notice a "dramatic difference" in the physical height of those who are older than 60 years of age when compared to younger Japanese.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 1538
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 05:25 pm: |
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"Either that, or tryout for Tyra Banks' America's Next Top Model."
I'm a little to old for that, Abm, but, who knows, you might just see me somewhere in the future. People have been encouraging me to be a model for most of my adult life but my excuse has always been that I wasn't interested in that kind of lifestyle. The truth, however, is that I've always been too afraid. But now that I understand the type of money these people are making, maybe I'll muster the courage to give something a shot one day. It will have to be soon though. Nothing lasts forever.
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 147
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 05:47 pm: |
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First of all Mrs. Hart let me tell you white ppl aren't doing this to "look black". They are just doing it to enhance their looks. Believe me Mrs. Hart no one in this European dominated world wants to look black. And Kola is Right black men don't accept black women as black. If they did you would never hear black men call black women out of their names. And use the terms "black and ugly" to women as an insult. |
Nels
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 257
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 09:18 pm: |
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No. Coarse vs. Fine Hair. Get a life. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 124
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, January 26, 2006 - 10:53 pm: |
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Sereasailor wrote:"First of all Mrs. Hart let me tell you white ppl aren't doing this to "look black". They are just doing it to enhance their looks. Believe me Mrs. Hart no one in this European dominated world wants to look black."
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ya got that right! Looking black is the last thing the average white person wants to do. Most black people don't want to look black. Not that I agree with that sort of thinking because I don't. But it is true. |
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