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Chrishayden
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 3163
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 10:26 am: | 
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What Happens When Engineers think too much about Christmas...
1. No known species of reindeer can fly. But there are 300,000 species
of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are
insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer,
which only Santa has seen.
2. There are 2 billion children (under 18) in the world. But since
Santa doesn't appear to handle Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, and Jewish
children, that reduces the work load to 15% of the total - 378 million
or so. At an average rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million
homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.
3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with thanks to time zones
and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west. This works
out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian
household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park,
hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings,
distribute the remaining gifts under the tree, eat the snacks, get
back up the chimney, get back in the sleigh, and move on to the next house.
Assuming that each of these 91.8 million homes are distributed evenly
(which we know to be false but for the sake of these calculations we
will accept) we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total
trip of 75 1/2 million miles, not counting bathroom stops. This means that
Santa's sleigh is traveling at 650 miles per second, 3000 times the speed of
sound. For comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space
probe moves at a poky 27.4 MPS; the average reindeer runs at 15 MPH.
4. The sleighs payload adds another interesting element. Assuming that
each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (2 pounds),
the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons not counting Santa, who is
inexorably described as very overweight. On land, confessional reindeer can
pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see
point one) could pull TEN TIMES the usual amount, we can not do the job
with 8 or even 9, we need 214,000 reindeer. This increases the weight,
not even counting the sleigh, to 353,430 tons. Again for comparison
this is 4 times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth 2.
5. Also, 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer in the same manner as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.2 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst
into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the next pair of reindeer, and
creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire team will be
vaporized within 4.26 thousands of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be
subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times the force of gravity. A 300
pound Santa would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds
of force.
6. Conclusion: There was a Santa, but he's dead now.
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"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
Mark Twain
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6186
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 11:01 am: |
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"You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
Boy, does that quote resonate with me! |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6187
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 11:17 am: |
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But - on further contemplation, - one's eyes should not be blamed for one's imagination. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2451
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 11:23 am: |
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It's best if both your eyes and your imagination are in focus. But if all else fails,
you can always just imagine that your eyes can still see  |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6189
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 03:33 pm: |
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And, in one's day-to-day living, it's important to not use your imagination to distort the reality of what your eyes are actually seeing. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2459
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 06:56 pm: |
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Success Requires
10% inspiration
20% perspiration
and
70% imagination
Yay, we are philosophers!!!  |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6192
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 08:36 pm: |
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Cognito ergo sum! |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2462
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, December 23, 2006 - 08:52 pm: |
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De omni re scibili et quibusdam aliis  |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6193
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 24, 2006 - 12:25 am: |
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Veritas! Nihil nisi optimum. >>wink-wink<< |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2464
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 24, 2006 - 01:31 am: |
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Scientia es potentia
et
Bonum vinum laetificat cor hominis  |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6196
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 24, 2006 - 12:09 pm: |
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Cut it out, Mzuri. We don't want to offend the hoi polloi who frequent this board. Tu puella pulcra est. (It's been over 50 years; struggling here. LMAO.) |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 2469
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 24, 2006 - 12:25 pm: |
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But it's fun!
Amicus usque ad aras  |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 6197
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, December 24, 2006 - 12:36 pm: |
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O tempora! O mores! venimus, videmus, vincimus. Salve pro tem. Egads! |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1505
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, December 28, 2006 - 06:31 pm: |
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LOL! Y'all are too highbrow for the likes of me! When you start speaking pig-latin, let me know. |
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