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Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 236
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 01:10 am: | 
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The majority of my black female friends will not date white men. They would rather be single than date a white man. They feel a loyalty to black men. Some of them like white men ok but still think dating one of them would represent some kind of betrayal to black men.
What are your thoughts?
Myself, I date both black and white men. On occasion I have had problems from black men while out on a date with a white man (on one occasion a black man picked a fight with my then boyfriend, who was white). The nasty looks you get from black men does make it more of a challenge to date white. When I am walking down the street hand in hand with a black man I get approving looks or no looks at all whereas with a white man I get stared at a lot.
I have also dated an east Indian man, that was a good experience.
I would definitely date Hispanic but have not yet.
I have been asked out by Chinese men but both men who asked me out were short (below 5'7).
I am curious to know whether Chinese men REALLY do have small penises. I imagine its a myth like the myth about black men all having big schlongs. |
Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 202
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 03:53 am: |
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Black women certainly have no reason to be loyal to bm. Most bm act like rednecks toward bw, and are devoted to ww or other non black women above them. However, the options are very slim for bw. The supply of straight, desirable and interested males is low across the board but bw bear the cost because of racist-sexism.
Even so, most bw realize that going outside the race is not a good thing for the black race, -but what can you do? Most all white people believe their race deserves preference over blacks. And white women like bm because 1) bm tend to idolize and favor whites also, 2) dating bm increases the supply of available men for them to choose from among the growing number of homos, and 3) they expect to be appreciated by bm more than any other men for being white, and bm often deliver. I've heard ww admit to number three.
Black women are also more sensitive to signs of racism and less tolerant of it from whites and their family members. -Whereas bm will kiss a ww and her family's azz to win their approval. They also assume that just because a ww screws them she can't possibly be racist, no matter how much her personality indicates otherwise.
So when a ww expresses contempt for bw they're stupid enough to believe it’s because she loves bm and is just being jealous. Being the self serving ego maniacs that they are, they just eat it up and act the same way to win white approval.
I've also seen a lot of bm get upset and jealous of bw who go outside the race, but they are the first to accuse bw of being jealous of them. They enjoy making them feel low. In my experience bm have often tried to incite jealously in bw publicly by disrespecting them in the presence of non bw - especially Asians, even encouraging them to participate.
I think Asian men's pee pees tend to be small, but there are small bm out there too.
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Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 328
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 07:56 am: |
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If they would rather be single than date non-black men, then let them stay single. I have a friend who clowns me for dating white men, yet she is in a relationship with a brotha for over five years and this dude is playing her ass like a fiddle. Relationship has been in limbo like a Carnival Cruise! LMAO!
There are good-natured, hard-working, attractive, responsible black men out there, of course, but how many of them are actually available for equally natured black women? We fill these guys heads with the idea that they are a rarity, we gas their asses up, and then we get upset when they treat us a members of a fucking harem. If the black woman wants to remain a fool waiting for her IBM, go right ahead, but don't cry when your ovaries have rotted and you're still dateless. |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1321
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 08:13 am: |
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How is being dateless (when you would prefer not to be) being "loyal" to someone? I cannot speak for your friends, Ibogirl, but when I have run into Black women who express similar things I have the feeling that the real thing they are afraid of is rejection: What if they get their hopes up about a White man and he then rejects her? Or if his family/friends rejected her? Will this kind of rejection feel worse than being rejected by a Black man?
I can't say for sure, but this is my guess with some of the women I have talked to. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6414
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 08:28 am: |
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Yvettep,
You're dead-on RIGHT. And you're being polite.
Because the truth is the only REAL reason why there aren't many more African American women who have White, Hispanic, Asian and Arab men is the vast majority of such men do NOT want AA women, at least not for much beyond some Jungle Fever thrillseeking. |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1323
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 09:29 am: |
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Sorry: the above should have been addressed to Igbogirl.
And ABM, I think it is even more complicated than that. I have heard from a handful of non-Black men that they have been attracted to specific Black females, but these women have put off such strong "I do not date non-Black" vibes that they have been put off from pursuing them. One friend told me a Black woman he had been flirting with at work for months one day even asked him if he had any "Black male friends just like you"!!?? Ouch!
But re: "jungle fever thrill-seeking"--do not discount this. Something can start as this but develop into something more. Afterall, how many relationships within race start out as pure "animal attraction" but may (may!) cool to something more lasting. Yeah, it is not necessarily common. But it can happen.
And if ou never even go out on one date with someone, how will you ever know?
I don't know. I just do not understand it. Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with choosing a permanent single lifestyle. As I have even mentioned here, I even see nothing wrong with single women choosing the biological father of their choice from a sperm bank. But wanting a relationship and not being open to one out of a sense of "loyalty"? I just don't buy it.
And if it is true, I just cannot understand it. And even if it is true, I would guess that these Black men women are waiting on feel no gratitude for this "loyalty."
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6415
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:04 am: |
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Yvettep,
Given the unique history between Black women and White men in this nation (and throughout much of the world, actually), I understand why many sistahs would hesitate to date Bob. But as you say, if you refuse to "...even go on one date," you never even give yourself and dude a CHANCE for something special to happen.
Again, and as you allude to, I think the whole Black woman "loyalty" to Black men thing is mostly a self-protective facade that MOST sistahs would abandon IF given sufficient reason. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 329
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:28 am: |
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Typical response from a black man. White men don't want you, the slavemaster raped you, yadda, yadda, yadda. Look at the source, girls. As far as I know black men been rapin' black women from Genesis, and it's still going on today!
White men will use you, what and black men don't use black women? LMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I guess rape and exploitation is allowable if it's coming from your own, right? ROFL!!!! Ain't no damned difference as far as I am concerned, no damned difference! A man is a man is a friggin' man!
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Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1362
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:31 am: |
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From experience, I can say that the stereotype about Asian men having small penises is just that: a STEREOTYPE. I had a Japanese boyfriend once who had a bigger penis than black men I've dated.
I think another thing keeping black women from dating white men is that black women tend to want a black daughter.
My husband isn't white, and my son still came out quite light skinned, even though he's a little darker than I am. I can't even imagine how pale he would have been if I had married a white man. One BIG reason (among others!) that I chose my husband is because I figured that with his darker skin, our children had a better chance of being darker skinned than I am. Overall, white and Asian men tend to be more interested in me than black men are (who typically ignore me, ESPECIALLY if I'm wearing African clothes), but again, I so wanted a dark skinned daughter that I didn't want to marry a white man.
I had a very weird (negative to me) experience two weeks ago when a black man stopped me in the mall....to tell me that his WHITE friend who was with him was interested in meeting me. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 237
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:42 am: |
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Because the truth is the only REAL reason why there aren't many more African American women who have White, Hispanic, Asian and Arab men is the vast majority of such men do NOT want AA women, at least not for much beyond some Jungle Fever thrillseeking.
I think that's one of those lies that black men tell themselves for some reason. I can assure you it's not true. My high school was 99% white and co-ed - more white boys chasing me than I could handle. Had a 2 year relationship with one of them and a 3 year relationship with another, so it wasn't just a casual bit of jungle fever. Same story at university, a LOT of white men wanting to date me and a few east Indian men and one Arab man. Same thing after I left university and started working.
I think it has more to do with white men feeling intimidated about asking black women out and fearing that the black women will reject them. Because I have always moved in circles where I have a LOT of white friends, white men have realized that I'm obviously not anti-white and thus feel comfortable asking me out on dates.
The nice thing about dating white men is that, whether you are light bright and damn near white or as black as Alek Wek, they don't get hung up on it. What they do care about is YOU. To them a beautiful woman is a beautiful woman be she black, white, Asian or somewhere in between. Whereas you know some black men would be like "you're cute..... for a brown/dark skinned girl...." |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 239
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:01 am: |
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I read an article in Essence about how sisters with advanced degrees and professional jobs need to start looking to date black men who deliver the mail or are refuse collecters. That always struck me as a little crazy. Sure, that COULD work but it probably wouldn't - Terry McMillan's 'Disappearing Acts' being an example of how it can fail.
Also, I want to date men with a similar background to me. Why shouldn't I? So, my last two boyfriends have NOT been African American. One was an Ivy-educated south African brother who pretty much had his shit together and was ready to get married. I didn't want to marry him though, unfortunately. The other was a white dude, another Ivy League grad with a great career. Far from us black women being the scourge of society, really quality men are interested in us. Just accept that a lot (maybe most) of those quality men will not be African American. Look to the non-African American blacks, the whites, the Indians and so on. I don't think you'll be disappointed. The even better thing is that while many white chicks are with black men mainly because a silly urban myth about dick size and 'manliness' - white men in the higher echelons are usually with us because they are interested in us as women and what we bring to the table. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6416
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:02 am: |
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Fortified,
WHERE are all these White men who (earnestly) want to jump-the-broom with sistahs, babe?
WHERE?
I mean, considering ALL of the single, man-less Black women out there, I should think MILLIONS of White men would be descending upon you like plagues of lustful loci.
After all: Who's BETTER at capitalizing upon a great market opportunity than a White man?
IF MANY White (and other non-Black) men TRULY wanted Black women for their wives and mothers, they'd have you. But the TRUTH is they simply do NOT. At least not to the extent and degree that such should matter to MOST Black women. Because if such were otherwise, you and other Black women would NOT be engaging in discussions like this.
Why? Because you'd be too busy trying to decide whom you should go out on a date with tonite: John, George or Dan. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1363
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:08 am: |
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Well, I've been engaged twice to white guys. And as I said before, the MAJORITY of guys who even approach me are white or Asian. And I live in a PREDOMINANTLY black area (at LEAST 99% black, if not 99.5% or more).
However, I could be wrong, but I think more Asian men like me because I'm short.
I still believe that most black women don't date white men because they want black daughters. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 240
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:12 am: |
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"Fortified,
WHERE are all these White men who (earnestly) want to jump-the-broom with sistahs, babe?
WHERE?
I mean, considering ALL of the single, man-less Black women out there, I should think MILLIONS of White men would be descending upon you like plagues of lustful loci.
After all: Who's BETTER at capitalizing upon a great market opportunity than a White man?
IF MANY White (and other non-Black) men TRULY wanted Black women for their wives and mothers, they'd have you. But the TRUTH is they simply do NOT. At least not to the extent and degree that such should matter to MOST Black women. Because if such were otherwise, you and other Black women would NOT be engaging in discussions like this.
Why? Because you'd be too busy trying to decide whom you should go out on a date with tonite: John, George or Dan."
I've been proposed to TWICE by white men. I didn't want to marry either of them. Not because they are white but because I just didn't want to get married. White men today are ready to step forward and marry black women and you are going to see more and more of it. Deal with it, Abm. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1364
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:15 am: |
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I have one friend who's been married twice, and both times to Arab men.
But she was married to men who also wanted black children (her second husband was upset when their son was born light skinned, because he seriously thought marrying a black woman would give him a dark skinned child). I never met the first husband.
(I ain't gonna even lie, and I know it sounds racist, but Arab me scare me. They all seem so PSYCHOTICALLY jealous). |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1365
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:15 am: |
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sorry....Arab MEN scare me. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 241
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:15 am: |
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I am also a bit unclear on why Abm seems so feverish in his response, so adamant that other races of men could not POSSIBLY want black women by their side. What's going on here Abm? Feel threatened that white men are about to take your women now as well as everything else they've taken?
As has already been stated in this thread - a lot of sisters simply won't date white. I'm one of the minority who WILL and yes, this week I have a date with a white guy coming up and another one at the weekend with a middle eastern guy. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1366
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:18 am: |
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Igbogirl, you're braver than I am. Again, I know it sounds very racist, but those guys scare me. And I know this may only be MY experience, but I've had a few friends who were married to Arab men, and they ALL had problems with them. ALL OF THEM. But, that may just be those I met. They can't ALL be as jealous as they are, but....I'd be too scare to find out. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6417
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:22 am: |
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Igbogirl,
The last US Census states that 97% of married White people have WHITE spouses. That shyt is NOT an accident, chile!
What you witnessed and experienced in high school and college hardly warrants comparison here. Because, darling, most high school and college-age males - be they White, Black or Purple - would stick their dycks into the eye of an active volcano if he were fairly sure the shyt would get them off.
But that is NO indication of whom and what they'll want to make marital vows, babies and home loans with +10 years later.
And, no offense. But I find the whole White men fear asking Black women out to be wholly ridiculous. I mean, really. These are the SAME mofos who've conqueured and run roughshod over the world for over a MILLENIUM. Yet they're SKURRED to pursue a woman they SINCERELY WANT?
Sorry...I'm just NOT buying that.
I'm NOT trying to demean Black women. Not in the LEAST bit. Hell. I HAVE a Black wife and daughters whom I love more than anything in life. So it does me NO good to demean Black women.
My point is that White (and other non-Black) men are typically NOT bred to view Black women as possible wives. Sure a few think and do otherwise. But the vast majority of men in this nation (and the world as a whole) ESCHEWS replicating and raising Blackness.
And, to be honest, who really would blame them?
Why would MOST non-Black people actively seek to even indirectly bear (via their spouses and children) the myriad burdens of Blackness?
Hell! Most of US wouldn't were such our option. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 330
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:23 am: |
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That black daughter excuse is lame, sorry. Mothers are responsible for the acculturation of their children (to quote Kola). It doesn't matter who the father is, the kids will come out more adjusted, in general when the mother is black.
Contrast the identity issues faced by Mariah Carey, Halle Berry, Quincy Jones' kids and Tiger Woods versus Tamia, Faith Evans, Brooklyn and Amanda Sudano. So a black woman can still birth secure black children. If she wants an "authentic" looking black daughter, she can always adopt one.
In response to Abm:
marriages between black women and white men are increasing faster than any other marriage, statistically speaking. There are hundreds of online groups for white men seeking black women for serious relationships. Sure there aren't millions of white men going after black women, but there aren't millions of white women going for black men--don't be fooled. I get asked out by non-black men on the regular like Renata. Wake up, even Hollyweird is trying to drop hints in its own fucked up way. And stop using the slavemaster rape excuse. It doesn't have the magic it used to. Of all the white women that got your male ancestors lynched for even looking at them, it NEVER stopped the male descendants from going after them, now did it?
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6418
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:27 am: |
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Igbogirl,
"I've been proposed to TWICE by white men. I didn't want to marry either of them. Not because they are white but because I just didn't want to get married. White men today are ready to step forward and marry black women and you are going to see more and more of it. Deal with it, Abm."
I really don't have to "deal with" shyt, girl. I've GOT my spouse, whom I love. You run-git YOURS, hang on to'em for +10 years...and maybe THEN we can have conversation at an EQUAL peer level.
K? |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1367
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:33 am: |
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Fortified, I'm speaking of the experience of myself and I guess I'm assuming my opinion to be true for a lot of people. To have a black daughter wasn't an excuse to me, it's a FACT. I SERIOUSLY wanted a dark-skinned daughter with Afro hair of my own. Here is a picture of my son. I love him to death and wouldn't trade him for the WORLD, but when I saw how light skinned he turned out with a man darker than I am (BROWN even), I was really happy that I didn't have a child with a white man, because there's no telling how pale my kids would have turned out.
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Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1368
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:34 am: |
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Of course, he's got his Mama's lips. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3231
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:35 am: |
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"I think that's one of those lies that black men tell themselves for some reason."
I think they're going to realize it's a lie real soon because younger sisters do not give a shit about loyalty to black men. The women from my nieces’ generation (early 20's) are into Justin Timberlake and Aston Kusher (sp) type "BROTHAS". And they do not see them as "white boys." These are the type of boys they are looking to for REAL dates...along with Hispanic & Asian guys.
Not far from where I live there is a small Filipino Community. The brothas there walk around with their "tugged out gear" with nothing but black women on their arms. The sisters (and I call these people "brothers & sisters" because that's what they seem like to me) only date Filipino and non-black men.
Judging from what I'm seeing from this generation of females--black and Asian and to a lesser degree Hispanic--black in no longer “in.” They are into the light skinned honey, the mixed Hottie, the white dude with a little swagger---if I didn't know any better I'd think they were color-struck. But I don’t know if it's a fad or a sign of what's to come. But judging from what I see, I think ABM has got it backwards. Black men who are not light skinned or mixed are played out. None of the girls--Black Asian Hispanic--are interested. They're looking for what's hot right now. The "loyalty" you used to hear about is no longer there. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1369
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:46 am: |
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Here's another picture of my ANGEL. |
Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 104
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:49 am: |
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Let me run a quick logical exercise by you all:
-Nearly every black female poster on this board has dated non-black men.
-The vast majority of black men have never dated non-black women.
-Thus the vast majority of black men are more loyal to black women than the women on this board are to black men.
Does that makes sense? If not, what are the flaws in my logic? |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6419
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:51 am: |
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Fortified,
If a condition has been almost totally non-existent, marriages between Black women and White men, almost ANY numerical change will appear to have some dramatic which DISTORTS the truth.
And I'll repeat: 97% of married White people have WHITE spouses. And a good percentage of that remaining 3% have Asian, Hispanic, Arab, Indian and other NON-Black mates.
There simply are NOT a lot of White foks, male and female, who really want Black spouses.
Now. This probably will change as time goes by. But there will NOT be enuff White (and other non-Black) men pursuing Black wives for such to matter for the vast MAJORITY of today's Black women to consider. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6420
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:54 am: |
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Grind,
Well. Assuming what you describe is true: For SOME reason, this site attracts Black male commentators who choose NOT to date White women and Black women who choose TO date White men.
*shrugs* |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6421
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:56 am: |
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Fortified,
And I am every bit as involved in the 'acculturation' of my daughters as my wife. Actually, I'm moreso. |
Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 105
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:58 am: |
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ABM,
I wasn't just talking about black men on this board, but black men in general. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 242
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:00 pm: |
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"Igbogirl,
The last US Census states that 97% of married White people have WHITE spouses. That shyt is NOT an accident, chile!
What you witnessed and experienced in high school and college hardly warrants comparison here. Because, darling, most high school and college-age males - be they White, Black or Purple - would stick their dycks into the eye of an active volcano if he were fairly sure the shyt would get them off."
Why is it so important to you to hang on to the lie that white men do not want black women for committed relationships? Did a white dude once steal your girlfriend? As I have already stated, Abm, I have had long-term, committed relationships with white men since my teenage years. For some reason, you cannot handle that and you feel the need to imply that black women are not wanted by other men. To be honest, I always felt a twinge of guilt before when I dated a white man. I sort of felt that perhaps in doing so I was "dissing" black men. Your responses in this thread have helped me to see that I have no need to feel guilt when dating white men. I shall enjoy every minute of being treated well by a high quality white man who is not, like so many black men, plagued with self-hate and a feeling of inferiority.
One thing I thought was sweet. My black girlfriend has been living with her white boyfriend for about four years. She was off to the hair salon. He begged her NOT to get a perm. I think his words were "your natural hair's so pretty. Please don't get it made all stiff and slicked down straight again." Her nature texture is super nappy. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 243
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:03 pm: |
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Renata, your baby is absolutely divine. What a sweetie! thanks for posting the pic |
Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 106
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:04 pm: |
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"Renata, your baby is absolutely divine. What a sweetie! thanks for posting the pic"
I agree! Glad to see he has good hair. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 331
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:05 pm: |
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Abm, the majority of people marry within their own race--all around. Marriages between races are NOWHERE near the majority--we are talking about the 2-6% range. No it ain't an accident, it's a choice.
I am glad you are involved in the acculturation of your kids--our society would be much better off if we had more fathers like you, believe me.
Black women aren't running off in a chariot to be with white dudes. The point is to keep an open mind, re-evaluate what you want in a husband, that is all. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 332
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:06 pm: |
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Renata, can I have your baby boy? |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6422
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:07 pm: |
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Grind,
Well, again assuming what you describe is true, I don't really know the answer to that.
I screwed around with non-Black chicks when I was on the come up. But I didn't really 'date' any of'em. My wife, however, did date a couple White dudes (though, 2 of them were French and Norweigan, if I recall correctly, so maybe they don't actually count...Hahahahaha!!!).
I guess what I'm saying is MOST brothas who've had sexual encounters with non-Black women were not or are not actively dating them. They were mostly just getting their multi-chromatic swerve on. But, I guess, sistah required more of their dealing with non-Black men.
Either that, or they're distorting the degree and nature of their dalliances with Opie. |
Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 107
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:09 pm: |
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ABM,
But the vast majority of black men have not even boned a non-black woman. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6423
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:12 pm: |
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Fortified,
Thanks for helping to make my point. Which is for MOST Black women, having a non-Black spouse is NOT a likely, viable option.
It has NOTHING to do with the worthiness of Black women. Rather, it's more about the innate prejudices and ethnocentricities that MOST foks - Black, White, Yellow and Burgundy - harbor.
It’s fine to have preferences. That’s only natural. But I agree with you: Black women – and Black men, actually – should keep an "open mind". |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6424
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:13 pm: |
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Grind,
Alas...I pity them.
Hehehehehe!!! |
Totusdulcidine
Newbie Poster
Username: Totusdulcidine
Post Number: 21
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:15 pm: |
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Nearly every black female poster on this board has dated non-black men.
WHOA Nelly!
I have never dated a non-black male and I have been asked by non-black males quite a few times. I love Black men and I am married to a dark-skinned, dread wearing brotha.
Thus the vast majority of black men are more loyal to black women than the women on this board are to black men.
I can only speak for myself, but I think I have been extremely loyal to Black men. We as a people must stop denigrating one another.
But to the topic at hand.
I think the vast majority of white males have no interest in dating non-white females and those who do may date but rarely marry these women.
Simply speaking when it comes to inter-marriage white males will not marry a non-white female because they want their children to have the same "white privilege" that they have had their entire lives.
Just as Black women have held the color line for generations, white males are doing the same and will probably continue to do so.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6425
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:17 pm: |
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Igbogirl,
This is America, doll. You never should have felt "guilt" about anything or ANYONE you've done, provided such were legal and consequential.
And, frankly, I find it rather humorous that the opinions I've expressed here can materially influence your thoughts, pro or con, in that regard. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6426
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:19 pm: |
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Totusdulcidine,
What these foks don't get is there is a REASON why White Supremacy exists and endures: And it's LARGELY predicated upon those foks remaining...WHITE. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 333
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:19 pm: |
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Grind, that is bull-to-the-fucking-shit. PLENTY of black men have screwed non-black women, I am will to be the vast majority--far more black men are screwing non-black than black women. Because of the double standard, women tend to date to be monogamous, while men are more likely to just fuck women like Abm did before he was married. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6427
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:21 pm: |
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Fortified,
Color is not really the issue. Men, regardless of race and ethnicity, want to fuhk more than women.
Adding color to the mix is just like pouring icing on the cake. |
Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 108
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:24 pm: |
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Totusdulcidine,
Apparently you are in the extreme minority on this board.
Fortified,
Of course there are black men dating/screwing non-black women, but they are a minority. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 245
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:35 pm: |
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Black men are loyal to black women than vice versa
Yup, yup. And George Bush is a Democrat.  And Condi Rice is a Black Panther. Excuse me while I LMAO
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Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 109
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:47 pm: |
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IgboKnievel,
Do you object to my premises, my conclusion, or both?
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Totusdulcidine
Newbie Poster
Username: Totusdulcidine
Post Number: 23
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 12:56 pm: |
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What these foks don't get is there is a REASON why White Supremacy exists and endures: And it's LARGELY predicated upon those foks remaining...WHITE.
Abm, the very simple truth.
Apparently you are in the extreme minority on this board.
Grind, maybe on this board but not in the general populace of Black females. But even though I have never dated outside of my race, I do not condemn those who choose to do so.
Black men are loyal to black women than vice versa.
Yup, yup. And George Bush is a Democrat. And Condi Rice is a Black Panther. Excuse me while I LMAO
Igbogirl, 7% of Black males have white wives and 15% of Black males cohabit with white females, so what about the other 78% of Black males? Yeah, 50% of Black males are more likely to date non-black females but do they marry them? No.
Statistically Black men and women are still dating and marrying one another. The question that should be asked is how long will this hold? And can we as a people get passed our petty gender differences to ensure that future generations will continue to date and marry within our race.
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Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3232
Registered: 07-2006
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 01:15 pm: |
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Grind, out of all the guys who have asked me out, about five were dark skinned. Two of them I dated, but it didn’t last long because I didn’t feel I was getting the attention I wanted. Not saying all dark-skinned brothas are like this. It's just been my experience with dark-skinned men since nearly 100 percent of the guys who have asked me out have been light-skinned and non-black men. Now that I’m a little older, more darker skinned guys are beginning to show interest but these guys are usually my age or older and I prefer dating younger men. So I still have the same dilemma as always. The darker skinned guys are not in my age bracket therefore the only guys available to me are still lighter skinned men. If more dark-skinned guys showed interest in the past or if the ones that do now were younger, I would have dated more of them...because I think they are just as fine as any other group of men.
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Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 110
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 01:21 pm: |
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Tonya,
Weren't you the one who said that you can't step outside your door without black men trying to get at you? These are all light skinned guys? |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3233
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 01:27 pm: |
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I'm not sure if I said it that way. I'm almost certain you've taken it out of context. But anyway, just because guys are all over you, it doesn’t mean that they are the type of guys you’d want to talk to.
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Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 111
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 01:47 pm: |
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Tonya,
What you said was, "So when I walk out of my door BROTHERS are all over me. I can't get them not to be, frankly."
http://www.thumperscorner.com/discus/messages/179/12403.html?1155317543 |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3234
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:03 pm: |
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Grind, this is waht I said:
"Sumjones, I got your point and I absolutely love your 8:36 post. But for me, it's not about getting a man - black or white; it's a little deeper than that. I don't make a whole lot of money. I have a measly associate’s degree. And I live in a regular ol' African American neighborhood...a stones throw from the deep, deep ghetto. I don’t have all the material things that intimidate black men. So when I walk out of my door BROTHERS are all over me. I can't get them not to be, frankly. And so my problem is more how sistahs are valued and treated by black men. It seems like in order for black men to be men, I got to be reduced to something less than a woman.... That's the beef I have with some black men."
See, WHEN YOU PUT IT INTO CONTEXT, I'm saying that I don't want just any ol' guy. I want someone who is going to treat me the way I want to be treated. If it were just about getting a man--hell--I'd pick up one of these brothas right outside my door step. But as I stated.....it's deeper than that. |
Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 112
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:11 pm: |
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Tonya,
Fair enough, but isn't it a bit misleading for you to say that only 5 dark skinned black men have ever hit on you when that doesn't really appear to be the case (correct me if I'm wrong)? |
Schakspir
Veteran Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 656
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:13 pm: |
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Renata: Igbogirl, you're braver than I am. Again, I know it sounds very racist, but those guys scare me. And I know this may only be MY experience, but I've had a few friends who were married to Arab men, and they ALL had problems with them. ALL OF THEM. But, that may just be those I met. They can't ALL be as jealous as they are, but....I'd be too scare to find out.
Schakspir: Arab women are also wildly jealous. If you even look at another woman, they glare daggers into you. On the other hand, I suppose Arabs can be great in bed. |
Schakspir
Veteran Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 657
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:15 pm: |
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Abm: My point is that White (and other non-Black) men are typically NOT bred to view Black women as possible wives. Sure a few think and do otherwise. But the vast majority of men in this nation (and the world as a whole) ESCHEWS replicating and raising Blackness.
And, to be honest, who really would blame them?
Schakspir: Abm, a lot of white men would want a black woman's hand in marriage--they're simply too scared of what their parents and friends might think. |
Schakspir
Veteran Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 658
Registered: 12-2005
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:20 pm: |
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Tonya: Judging from what I'm seeing from this generation of females--black and Asian and to a lesser degree Hispanic--black in no longer “in.” They are into the light skinned honey, the mixed Hottie, the white dude with a little swagger---if I didn't know any better I'd think they were color-struck. But I don’t know if it's a fad or a sign of what's to come. But judging from what I see, I think ABM has got it backwards. Black men who are not light skinned or mixed are played out. None of the girls--Black Asian Hispanic--are interested. They're looking for what's hot right now. The "loyalty" you used to hear about is no longer there.
Schakspir: That's not important. In fact, it's wishful thinking on your part, because I still see dark, tall, muscular black guys getting whatever they desire. BTW, the best women come from OUTSIDE the United States. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6429
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:20 pm: |
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Schakspir: "Abm, a lot of white men would want a black woman's hand in marriage--they're simply too scared of what their parents and friends might think."
Then they don't REALLY want'em, chief. |
Schakspir
Veteran Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 659
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:23 pm: |
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Abm: Then they don't REALLY want'em, chief.
Schakspir: They do. They just have no balls. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3236
Registered: 07-2006
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:25 pm: |
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Grind:
Tonya, Fair enough, but isn't it a bit misleading for you to say that only 5 dark skinned black men have ever hit on you when that doesn't really appear to be the case (correct me if I'm wrong)?
Tonya:
Mmmm. I don't know. I guess. Maybe. But I was referring to the guys I've taken seriously...the men in my life. I would never include the ones who yell "hey shorty" as I walk down the street. Who would?
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Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 247
Registered: 09-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:29 pm: |
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Tonya, I have noticed that the non-African very dark skinned black men in this country are the most self-hating. One dark-skinned fool I went on one date with started laughing like a hyena at the cinema when a dark-skinned woman was on the screen briefly. He made a negative comment about how dark the woman was - in fact she was the same complexion as my date - the color of espresso. So, there was a reasonably intelligent brother (he was a high school English teacher) laughing at a dark black woman who LOOKED LIKE HIM and no doubt also resembled his mother. Until that moment he had seemed sane.
The solution may actually be to date biracial men! Some of the dark skinned American brothers are so eaten up with self-hate and deep-down feel so inferior and feel that there very black features and hair texture are ugly that they don't want their children to look like them. They marry or procreate with white women. The biracial brothers are half white, so they certainly don't have that fear of being too dark, too ugly etc. In my experience, biracial black men can be wonderful partners. Although the stereotype is that biracial people are confused, I actually find that dark skinned black American men are the most confused, self-hating people - possibly in the entire world. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 248
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:32 pm: |
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I want to add that I have not experienced such self-hating behavior among African men, no matter how dark their skin. They don't seem to be eaten up with that sort of self-hatred at all. But if they spend long enough in America, perhaps they too would develop an inferiority complex. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3237
Registered: 07-2006
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Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:43 pm: |
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I totally agree. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 794
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:45 pm: |
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Loving this dialogue and LMO!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! When reading this thread, it does not take one very long to sort out the adults from the frustrated children. The searing reality is obviously too much for the those who cling to their so-called race-loyalty and the silly fantasy that they are number one on the most desired women in the world rankings. High five to Yvettep, Fortified and ABM. Your commentaries, although disheartening and offensive to many, was true. No doubt about it. The detractors desperately attacked you with hysterical race-pride driven counterarguments that are shallow and childish (which is to be expected).
”If they would rather be single than date non-black men, then let them stay single. I have a friend who clowns me for dating white men, yet she is in a relationship with a brotha for over five years and this dude is playing her ass like a fiddle. Relationship has been in limbo like a Carnival Cruise! LMAO!”
I agree. If they want to stand around waiting for the Perfect Brothers Bus to pick them up, fine. It will be laughable but tragic at the same time to see these same young disillusioned nationalistic race pride fools in their 40’s and 50’s, still waiting for the right brotha to come along. Contrary to the belief of the race baiters and haters of this board, it pains me personally to realize the reality of pool of desirable, financially secure, educated and penal system free young black men, is not very large. They are out there, but good luck in your search.
”There are good-natured, hard-working, attractive, responsible black men out there, of course, but how many of them are actually available for equally natured black women?
Good point! I’ve noticed this. The competition for these brothers is fierce. And the brothers know this. That is why they can pick and choose at will. I know three young black men who own homes, have very good incomes, very nice cars, are very handsome and are gym rats to keep that tight hard bod women love. But since they are in high demand, they pick and choose as they feel from a capacious pool of willing women. And trust me –they are not short on dates! But sadly enough, the women they are picking and dating –ARE NOT BLACK! Doooooonnnnngggggg….!!!!!!
“We fill these guys heads with the idea that they are a rarity, we gas their asses up, and then we get upset when they treat us a members of a fucking harem. If the black woman wants to remain a fool waiting for her IBM, go right ahead, but don't cry when your ovaries have rotted and you're still dateless.”
My point exactly. Instead of accepting a man who will love them, offer them marriage and a life together, they would rather maintain a dateless inert life thinking that such behavior is a badge of honor or something to be envied. BEING ALONE IS NOTHING TO BE DESIRED OR ENVIED! But if your so-called fantasy of holding out for the ideal monogamous brotha works for you, good. Stay by yourself and keep waiting. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
”How is being dateless (when you would prefer not to be) being "loyal" to someone?”
It’s not! But they have deluded themselves into thinking that it is. They sincerely believe they are the gatekeepers of blackness and holding the line for honor and sacrifice. But the reality is no one cares! It’s a rues they will painfully learn one day. But by the time reality overwhelms their fantasy and obstinate denial, they will far removed from the game. They will find themselves migrating further and further to the outer fringes of the desirability and dating pool. Done deal!
”I cannot speak for your friends, Ibogirl, but when I have run into Black women who express similar things I have the feeling that the real thing they are afraid of is rejection: What if they get their hopes up about a White man and he then rejects her? Or if his family/friends rejected her? Will this kind of rejection feel worse than being rejected by a Black man?”
Excellent! This is their major fear: REJECTION! Women have their disappointments and frustrations with relationships, but as a group, one thing they are not accustomed to is in yo’ face rejection! People laugh and shake their heads with amusement when men get rejected. It is seen as something that is natural and to be expected. Men must be aggressive and unrelenting in their quest for females. So rejection comes along with the job (being a male). When a guy asks a woman to dance at the club and she turns him down and he promptly asks another woman and gets rejected again –oh well. So what? That’s how it is seen. But if a woman asks a guy to dance and he says no and then she ask another guy and he says no –well, you can expect her not to frequent that same club anytime soon!. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE BLATANT ”IN YO’ FACE PERSONAL REJECTION”! And they will go to great lengths to avoid it. Like remain at home alone and nervously wait for a man to rescue her from her dilemma.
”Because the truth is the only REAL reason why there aren't many more African American women who have White, Hispanic, Asian and Arab men is the vast majority of such men do NOT want AA women, at least not for much beyond some Jungle Fever thrillseeking.”
Wow! Another hard dose of realty being served up! This is also true. Contrary to the delusional mirage many of these young female posters cling to, as a group, black women are not sought after as a prize by other races of men. In fact, sad as it is, many black men don’t want them. I’m not saying this is good or that I relish the thought, but it is true. Some will counter with non-black men clamoring after them or their sista girl friends for dates. And I don’t doubt that. But as a group –sorry, it just ain’t happening!
”And ABM, I think it is even more complicated than that. I have heard from a handful of non-Black men that they have been attracted to specific Black females, but these women have put off such strong "I do not date non-Black" vibes that they have been put off from pursuing them. One friend told me a Black woman he had been flirting with at work for months one day even asked him if he had any "Black male friends just like you"!!??”
I agree. As I said before, this “I do not date non-black men” resonates from their very being. And to be honest, I don’t have a problem with it. I think you should date whomever you want. It’s your life and the standards that you have to live by. But just be aware there is a cost for such standards. If you prefer the waiting game and being alone –good. Do just that. But don’t feel sorry for yourself when you’re gray, fat and sagging and still trying to get a hook up. IT WILL BE TOO LATE. Whose fault will that be?
”Again, and as you allude to, I think the whole Black woman "loyalty" to Black men thing is mostly a self-protective facade that MOST sistahs would abandon IF given sufficient reason.”
Another irrefutable reality check. This so-called “loyalty” is just a defensive façade to escape the painful and ego deflating reality of possible rejection. It reminds me of when average to not so average looking women see a very strikingly handsome man and immediately they will make unwarranted comments like; “Oh, look at him! You know he’s gay! or “Pluezzzzz…I wouldn’t have him!”. WTF? They know nothing about the man, never interacted with him, yet they feel compelled to make derisive remarks. Why? Because they know in the back of their heads that guy would reject them! So, they feel compelled to make a pre-emptive verbal assault on him. Why again? FEAR OF REJECTION!
”I mean, considering ALL of the single, man-less Black women out there, I should think MILLIONS of White men would be descending upon you like plagues of lustful loci.”
You’re on a roll black man! There is no shortage of black women anywhere –well, except in a male prison. Anyway, if they were so sought after and desired (as they falsely believe), like you suggested, white men would be scoffing these lonely and dateless so-called Nubian Queens up. BUT IT AIN’T HAPPENING! Not to say that there are no white men who desire dates and relationships with black women, but as a group, white men are not attracted nor interested in black women. It amazes me how anyone would think otherwise.
”IF MANY White (and other non-Black) men TRULY wanted Black women for their wives and mothers, they'd have you. But the TRUTH is they simply do NOT.”
Well, if anyone had more then 50 brain cells in their head, they would realize this is true. But unfortunately, for a number of wounded posters who are enraged and have become hysterical at your painful but truthful assessments, they will defiantly rant and foam at the mouth with indignation and angst. Their fragile and suspect egos will not allow them to accept facts that document themselves, even without you commenting about it.
”Because if such were otherwise, you and other Black women would NOT be engaging in discussions like this.”
Bro ABM, you have just put the final nails in the coffin on this subject. The aforementioned comment has laid this entire argument to rest. THE END!!!!!!!
”I am also a bit unclear on why Abm seems so feverish in his response, so adamant that other races of men could not POSSIBLY want black women by their side. What's going on here Abm? Feel threatened that white men are about to take your women now as well as everything else they've taken?”
Groan….here we go. A typical (and predictable) weak and defensive counter statement to the ego deflating brutal reality checks you posted. Let the histrionics and personal attacks begin. Rather that debating the facts, she would rather desperately resort to a juvenile personal attack and name calling. You never suggested there are no non-black men who desire black women. That would not be true. I see Hispanic and white men with black women often. So I think we all are in agreement there are non-black men who will date black women. But you were referring to the group (non-black males) –not individuals.
However, they are incapable of making that distinction. But as I have stated, fragile egos and phony race nationalism will frantically harangue and screech blindly in hopes of drowning out the reality they cannot except. Bellicose accusations of bogus race disloyalty and self-hate is their mantra. They have no other recourse other than profanity and personal attacks. Think not? Watch the flood of name calling and racial vitriol that follows this post…….
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Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3239
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:47 pm: |
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And, Igbogirl, the type of brothas that I'm into anyway--(laid back, smooth but not too thuggish)--comes in all colors nowadays.
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Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 249
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 02:59 pm: |
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Right, Tonya
But to counter this LUDICROUS argument from Abm, Ntfuckup etc that black women are onl PRETENDING to be loyal to black men and that really they are afraid that white men will reject them. Here's food for thought. A friend of mine has been with her white boyfriend for six or seven years. He comes from an upper class family. His parents weren't crazy about him dating my friend at first but now they love my friend and want them to get married. My friend's white boyfriend really wants to marry her. However, she is always telling me how she kinda wishes she was with a black man. Far from her - dark-skinned, fullish-figured, nappy hair, very -beautiful - not being able to get a white man to marry her and making excuses - she HAS a quality white man who loves her ass to bits and wants her to have his babies. She feels some strange loyalty to black men (who I believe actually dissed her to some extent in the past, because she's dark). There are many stories like that. Myself, when in a longterm relationship with a white man have had this nagging feeling that really I should be with a black man. THen I actually go on a date with a black American man and invariably realize again why I'm probably better off with a white man! |
Tonya
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Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3240
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 03:04 pm: |
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Ooop! Oh, yeah, I forgot that was the argument teehee. It's so ridiculous, lol.
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Totusdulcidine
Newbie Poster
Username: Totusdulcidine
Post Number: 24
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 03:38 pm: |
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Instead of accepting a man who will love them, offer them marriage and a life together, they would rather maintain a dateless inert life thinking that such behavior is a badge of honor or something to be envied. BEING ALONE IS NOTHING TO BE DESIRED OR ENVIED! But if your so-called fantasy of holding out for the ideal monogamous brotha works for you, good. Stay by yourself and keep waiting. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Ntfs_encryption, as I stated previous, I have not date outside of my race but do not condemn those who choose to do so. In conversations with my single Black female friends, all lamenting the lack of eligible Black males, I have counseled them to stop looking for the perfect Black man and start looking for the perfect man.
But do you think it is wrong of me to wish for them what I myself have experience and found? Is it wrong to want my sistas to look into their partners faces and see themselves reflected, to have the same shared human history and culture. Is the idea of not having to explain why I put oil in my hair, why I don't think Martin Lawrence's Sheneneh Jenkins is remotely funny and why I think Britney Spears can't sing that revolutionary?
Life is difficult enough, relationships even more difficult without adding into the mix different racial histories, culture and experiences.
People say life is short, no, life can be VERY long, especially if you make the wrong choices.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6430
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 03:39 pm: |
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Ntfs,
There is alleged to be all these manless Black women. Most of whom aren't married. And (if you believe certain studies) nearly half of whom will NEVER marry?
Again. Why aren't they being rescued from their loneliness by battalions of Pierce Brosnans and Matt Damons?
Why is it when he was a nobody, Brad Pitt leeched off of Robin Givens? But after he got hot he was with Gweneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and then Angelina Jolie (which, by the way, is a pretty startling succession/progression of highgrade White woman stock, if you ask me)?
The shyt AIN'T rocket science! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6431
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 03:42 pm: |
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Igbogirl: "THen I actually go on a date with a black American man and invariably realize again why I'm probably better off with a white man!"
And I imagine a lot of Black men would be better off without you. So at least in one important respect you and brothas have something in common. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6432
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 03:44 pm: |
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Totusdulcidine,
Given that, at least it seems, MOST relationships between Black men and women fail, why should the difficultly of dating and marrying a non-Black man really matter? |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 251
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:17 pm: |
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While the Black woman could be violated at will, the white woman's comfort was protected with the ultimate price. In this case the death penalty was not law, it was habit. This environment helped to greatly increase any interest the Black man may have had in the white woman. If the Black man had no innate interest in the white woman, he certainly would have developed some just out of curiosity. Anyone would be intrigued by what was being protected. A Ph.D. in human anatomy and genetics would find interest in a white woman if he was denied access to her. And just being denied the ability to even look at someone would create an interest, and over the years an obsession would develop - a phenomenon that is evident in many Black men.
Sexual Distance
The more the Black woman was soiled, the more the white woman was deified. On many occasions, even looking at a movie poster with a white woman on it was criminal. As the physical and social distance between the white woman and the Black man increased, the psycho-sexual distance between the two decreased, developing a mutual interest. One could view this as a psychological rubber band. Left alone, the opposing side of the rubber band are not drawn together, but pull them apart and the slightest give sends the two rushing toward each other.
Additionally, the white man’s relationship with the Black woman and his protection of white women created an appetite of vengeful lust within many Black men, as well as a deep interest by the white woman. Interactions between white men and Black women were in your face and very difficult to ignore. It was not subtle, or on the down low; it was vile, repugnant, evil and unforgiving. The experience coined the most used word in America when describing someone or even something that is despised - motherfucker.
There was absolutely no respect for the emotional existence of the Black family. Entering slave quarters the white man would walk past the Black man and his children and defile any Black female at will - that female could even be a child. He would also warn the Black man that the experience had better be good; and oftentimes the Black male would pledge that it would be good, as if to provide the rapist a sexual guarantee. On the way out the rapist would arrogantly acknowledge that it was good and rub the Black man's head. This event would destroy the dignity and self-respect of any man and question his worth as well as the repute of his woman.
CHAPTER 1
His World
If a Black woman bore a child for a white man it was against the law for her to ever tell a soul who the father was. They all knew that resistance was not an option. Any sort of defiance would result in the death or further dehumanization of any or all involved in such action. Reprehensible hell would be the upshot of protest. One slave recalls: “They whipped my father 'cause he looked at a slave they killed and cried.”13 Another man had his right ear “cut off close to his head, and he had received a hundred lashes on his back. He had beaten the overseer for a brutal assault on my mother, and this was his punishment.”14
Yet sometimes the fragile male ego would not yield the benefit of doubt to the victim, and some Black men found it easy to resent and devalue the Black woman for experiencing an existence beyond her control. Further, the Black woman’s inevitable guilt and shame forced her to devalue herself - dismantling any hint of dignity she could muster to reincarnate her sexual integrity.
A visual depiction of this psycho-sexual savagery heaped on the Black family can be seen in portraits throughout history, as lightskinned children are photographed in families with much darker parents. This way of life would confound any man's emotional, psychological and physical stability.
Just consider how most men react to the past relationships his present girlfriend may have had. The mere mention of an exboyfriend could elicit an angry reaction from the average male of any race. Can you imagine living in a world where loved ones are randomly and consistently violated at will, while being powerless to stop it?
Even circumstance oftentimes failed to encourage the fragile male ego into concession. The mind can be selfish and unforgiving and thoughts have no threshold for sensitivity. Thoughts are immature and a mature thought is merely an afterthought. Subconscious thoughts are even more devastating. The subconscious, the father of the conspiracy, can warp imagination and twist a normal human being into a jealous cynic. It could lead the Black man to wander in the wilderness of speculation about whether his woman enjoys the slave master; he could be lead into an intellectual coma where he questions why his wife isn't “fighting back,” or putting up resistance.
Her World
As a result the Black woman dare not spurn the Black man’s sexual advances, because his imagination could also conclude that she prefers the oppressor over her husband. So even if she feels soiled, she is not allowed to, because she is now forced into the business of stroking egos ... and other things. This often led the Black woman down a road of poor sexual self-expression. The psychological burden of having to pleasure those she desired and those she despised helped to collapse her sensual priorities; turning her into a sexual mechanic unconcerned, unfeeling, uncaring, and uninterested. She now has to fake faking it. All of which comes without reward, salvation, or security. If the Black man senses this he will wander, and often did, if only with his eyes. Since he is prohibited from wandering toward the white woman, he wanders where there is no consequence: his daughter, niece, sister, cousin, and sometimes even back to his mother, thereby completing the cycle begun by the oppressor. This further devalues the Black woman in all areas of life and was not just relegated to slave quarters; all Black women became fair game. Age was not a deterrent. Fidelity was not even a consideration; if the Black woman wanted exclusivity, she was not certain she could get it. Her slave master was incorrigible, while her husband was enticed into emulating him. A legacy that is passed on to the children and their children and looped like a monotonous hip-hop grove for generations.
His Journey
But no wandering is more interesting than the Black man's ultimate destination - the white woman. After seeing the white male ravage the Black woman it was only natural that he would want to reciprocate. Whether it was to get even or just out of curiosity, a journey toward the white woman will be embarked upon. It's like the classic Richard Pryor joke, where the white guy comes to secure a liaison with a Black prostitute and the gatekeeper barks out: “how come you motherfuckers don' t bring no white bitches when you come up here?” You got ours bring some of yours is the natural reaction.
CHAPTER 1
His World
If a Black woman bore a child for a white man it was against the law for her to ever tell a soul who the father was. They all knew that resistance was not an option. Any sort of defiance would result in the death or further dehumanization of any or all involved in such action. Reprehensible hell would be the upshot of protest. One slave recalls: “They whipped my father 'cause he looked at a slave they killed and cried.”13 Another man had his right ear “cut off close to his head, and he had received a hundred lashes on his back. He had beaten the overseer for a brutal assault on my mother, and this was his punishment.”14
Yet sometimes the fragile male ego would not yield the benefit of doubt to the victim, and some Black men found it easy to resent and devalue the Black woman for experiencing an existence beyond her control. Further, the Black woman’s inevitable guilt and shame forced her to devalue herself - dismantling any hint of dignity she could muster to reincarnate her sexual integrity.
A visual depiction of this psycho-sexual savagery heaped on the Black family can be seen in portraits throughout history, as lightskinned children are photographed in families with much darker parents. This way of life would confound any man's emotional, psychological and physical stability.
Just consider how most men react to the past relationships his present girlfriend may have had. The mere mention of an exboyfriend could elicit an angry reaction from the average male of any race. Can you imagine living in a world where loved ones are randomly and consistently violated at will, while being powerless to stop it?
Even circumstance oftentimes failed to encourage the fragile male ego into concession. The mind can be selfish and unforgiving and thoughts have no threshold for sensitivity. Thoughts are immature and a mature thought is merely an afterthought. Subconscious thoughts are even more devastating. The subconscious, the father of the conspiracy, can warp imagination and twist a normal human being into a jealous cynic. It could lead the Black man to wander in the wilderness of speculation about whether his woman enjoys the slave master; he could be lead into an intellectual coma where he questions why his wife isn't “fighting back,” or putting up resistance.
Her World
As a result the Black woman dare not spurn the Black man’s sexual advances, because his imagination could also conclude that she prefers the oppressor over her husband. So even if she feels soiled, she is not allowed to, because she is now forced into the business of stroking egos ... and other things. This often led the Black woman down a road of poor sexual self-expression. The psychological burden of having to pleasure those she desired and those she despised helped to collapse her sensual priorities; turning her into a sexual mechanic unconcerned, unfeeling, uncaring, and uninterested. She now has to fake faking it. All of which comes without reward, salvation, or security. If the Black man senses this he will wander, and often did, if only with his eyes. Since he is prohibited from wandering toward the white woman, he wanders where there is no consequence: his daughter, niece, sister, cousin, and sometimes even back to his mother, thereby completing the cycle begun by the oppressor. This further devalues the Black woman in all areas of life and was not just relegated to slave quarters; all Black women became fair game. Age was not a deterrent. Fidelity was not even a consideration; if the Black woman wanted exclusivity, she was not certain she could get it. Her slave master was incorrigible, while her husband was enticed into emulating him. A legacy that is passed on to the children and their children and looped like a monotonous hip-hop grove for generations.
His Journey
But no wandering is more interesting than the Black man's ultimate destination - the white woman. After seeing the white male ravage the Black woman it was only natural that he would want to reciprocate. Whether it was to get even or just out of curiosity, a journey toward the white woman will be embarked upon. It's like the classic Richard Pryor joke, where the white guy comes to secure a liaison with a Black prostitute and the gatekeeper barks out: “how come you motherfuckers don' t bring no white bitches when you come up here?” You got ours bring some of yours is the natural reaction.
Market for Atrocity
The soiling of the Black woman did not operate in a vacuum. It extended far outside the slave quarters and further into society: “historical scholarship has confirmed abolitionist charges that slave women were frequently abused by white men.”15 Indeed, not all whites owned slaves, so many whites did not have this evil, licentious luxury; still, one did not have to own slaves to be perversely nourished by the nectar of the Black woman. Quite the opposite became true. Slave owners were known to lend out their “girls” to friends or relatives.
It was not uncommon for a slaver to sell, trade, let out or give as a present, a Black girl or woman to a business colleague to settle debts or use as exchange for profit - “Scholarship has shown that there sometimes existed a willingness on the part of fathers and sons to share slave mistresses... Senator James Henry Hammond, of South Carolina, was engaging in sexual relationships with two slave women, mother and daughter. He later gave both women to his legitimate son, Harry, who was also apparently involved in an affair with the daughter and who had fathered a child by her, as the elder Hammond admitted he may have also done.”16
Remember, Black people were not allowed to officially be married because they had to remain mobile instruments of exchangeable capital. The term husband I used earlier was to loosely connect the Black man to the mother of his children. He may not have been her 'husband' nor she his 'wife' but they were a family, and that family could be broken apart at the whim of the slave master. It was here that this human juggling took on a new life in the area of sex.
Blurred Vision
So in addition to receiving the ultimate protection from her white counterparts, the white woman was placed on a pedestal and even had normal biological functions performed for her. She was dressed in the finest clothes, sprayed with the most delightful fragrances and held up as a model of matriarchal supremacy. Her Black counterpart served her from the bottom of the pedestal. Relegated to a laboring slut, every inch of the Black woman was used for toil without compensation. Her head to carry heavy loads, her breasts to feed white children, her hands to pick cotton, wash clothes and till soil, her legs as transport through this torture, and her privates to pacify and pleasure her persecutors in order to preserve her people.
The Black woman was so degraded, disrespected and despised that she was even reduced to a belly warmer for her mistresses and masters on cold nights. They would have to drape their warm bodies over the cold feet of whites to secure their comfort. One remarkable example of the way Black women were reduced is that of “...an old woman, who for seventy years faithfully served her master. She had become almost helpless from hard labor and disease. Her owners moved to Alabama, and the old black woman was left to be sold to anybody who would give twenty dollars for her.”19
What is even more pathological is the sick vermin that would actually purchase her for twenty dollars in this climate, I'm sure that there was a transaction concerning the old lady. This thankless existence only served to further fog the spectacles of the Black male and dull his image of his woman. It has also had an effect on those on the outside looking in. Disrespect for the Black woman is not exclusive to the Black male. One way or another everyone has come to the conclusion that the Black woman ain't shit. Her sexual as well as her intellectual integrity was always in question. Like the old woman who was put on the auction block after seventy years of service, every Black woman faces the similar dilemma of depicted as being only good for sex and toil. It is as if her mind and midriff are one in the same.
As a result, the Black man finds it easy to stray because she will always be there. She is so taken for granted and unwanted that she hopelessly seeks the love and attention from those (including her own children) who are taught to despise her. She is easily exploited, but most importantly she will always be available. In one of my many interviews I came across a group of Black women who no longer date. To them the available men are slim to none, and rather than date out of the Black race, they decided that they would rather be alone. Emotional strength is another character the Black woman has had to develop, because no man of any race would put a clamp on his sexual needs because the woman he wants is unavailable. Some of these women believe that they can hold onto their sexual integrity by not dating outside of the race. They do not want to appear desperate by “settling.” This is the perfect example of Black women always being there. How many other Black women are out there shutting down their needs and desires hoping to revive them when things change?
Incidentally, the above was written by a black MAN
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Totusdulcidine
Newbie Poster
Username: Totusdulcidine
Post Number: 25
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:23 pm: |
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Given that, at least it seems, MOST relationships between Black men and women fail, why should the difficultly of dating and marrying a non-Black man really matter?
Abm, do you have a statistic that verifies this or is it just an assumption based on the conversation here? LOL
The difficulties of interracial dating and marriage matter because they become magnified through the racial looking glass. But for those who are strong enough to weather the storm...well, have at it.
Young Black women are now spending years getting an education and building a career. When they turn to thoughts of settling down, they find a small pool of marriageable Black men...but statistically if you are a reasonably well-educated person with a decent income, come from an intact family and are religious, and marry after age twenty five without having a baby first, your chances of divorce are very low indeed.
So I guess Black women are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
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Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1111
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:31 pm: |
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"Igbogirl, you're braver than I am. Again, I know it sounds very racist, but those guys scare me. And I know this may only be MY experience, but I've had a few friends who were married to Arab men, and they ALL had problems with them. ALL OF THEM. But, that may just be those I met. They can't ALL be as jealous as they are, but....I'd be too scare to find out."
From my experiences Arab men are only interested in Black women for sex.
And since the males on here have come to an agreement that White men are not dating us and neither are Black men--what should we do? |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 252
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:33 pm: |
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The history and circumstance that has soiled the Black woman’s image continues to direct the Black man’s mind away from that desperate sight toward that which he has longed to be recognized by. His goal is to be loved and accepted by those he was designed to worship, in order for his dignity to triumph. He sees himself as a historic failure - failing to provide for his family, protect his woman, and secure a livelihood.
He finds it hard to connect with the Black woman, outside of sensation, since she serves as the symbol of his failure. By giving birth to him she represents the synthesis of his circumstance, the precious gift of life once cherished now become a curse, her womb a graveyard as life became death. As a result, he will chase the white woman to the ends of the earth, and will stop only when he catches his mind... |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6433
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:36 pm: |
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Totusdulcidine,
Why should I have to verify that statement. You honestly believe more than half of all relationships that begin between Black men and women survive 'til death do they part?
And foks have to MARRY before they divorce. Yet there are some studies that assert that over 40% of Black women will never marry.
I don't want to be pessimistic. But things are as they are.
And there's more to getting a good husband than wanting one and getting a degree and a good job. In fact, OFTEN those things don't really have much at all to do with each other. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 798
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:38 pm: |
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”Here's food for thought. A friend of mine has been with her white boyfriend for six or seven years. He comes …………..There are many stories like that. Myself, when in a long-term relationship with a white man have had this nagging feeling that really I should be with a black man.”
And what? Once again you missed the point. To be fair to your comment, I can list three black women to add to your list with the exact same dilemma. There are no black men who currently will date them (and they are not bad looking) and they have dated non-black men. But all three desire a relationship with a black man –something they are not getting! Look Boo Boo, no one suggested black women do not get dates or offers for relationships from non-black men. If you could read, you would have seen I underlined this in my last post. But as ABM stated, black women, as a group –are not on the “I want one of them” list for non-black men! What is that you do not understand about this? I know this offends the egos of you and your supporters, but the man told the truth. Don’t be so bitter!
”But do you think it is wrong of me to wish for them what I myself have experience and found? Is it wrong to want my sistas to look into their partners faces and see themselves reflected, to have the same shared human history and culture. Is the idea of not having to explain why I put oil in my hair, why I don't think Martin Lawrence's Sheneneh Jenkins is remotely funny and why I think Britney Spears can't sing that revolutionary?”
As I have stated previously –I have no problems with a black woman who desires a relationship with only a black man! I only stated that such a mind set is going to be daunting and probably not a good long term philosophy if you are looking for someone to love you for a possible life time relationship. As you know, finding someone you are compatible with is hard enough. But when you throw in the race prerequisite, the pool of eligible males becomes smaller! That’s not my personal opinion but one of fact. If black women desire only black males, fine. AGAIN, I HAVE NO PROBLEMS WITH THAT. I’m only stating that here are consequences that go along with such thinking. That’s all.
”There is alleged to be all these manless Black women. Most of whom aren't married. And (if you believe certain studies) nearly half of whom will NEVER marry?”
You and I both know why! But they are in denial of this brutal reality. Hench all the rancor and delusional counter arguments.
”Again. Why aren't they being rescued from their loneliness by battalions of Pierce Brosnans and Matt Damons?
Why is it when he was a nobody, Brad Pitt leeched off of Robin Givens? But after he got hot he was with Gweneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston and..........
The shyt AIN'T rocket science!”
Of course it’s not rocket science! But when you live in a world of denial and a distorted view of race and relationships, you won’t get it. It’s very obvious even to the blind that the white men you mentioned do not have “jungle fever” –as most white men. End of subject.
”And I imagine a lot of Black men would be better off without you. So at least in one important respect you and brothas have something in common.”
Ha! Ha! Ha! This is very true. Her only way to strike back is to constantly throw American black men down the stairs in an attempt to retaliate for the undeniable facts she bitterly resents. Her comments about American black men are desperate acts of revenge. If you have noticed, no one really responds to them. Why should they? Everyone knows they are transparent attempts to masquerade her own rejection. So your comment is gold.
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Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 253
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:41 pm: |
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One part of the problem is that statistically black women are better educated and more upwardly mobile than black men. Black women are more likely to get advanced degrees whereas black men are, more likely to have a gym membership and spend time in prison. And stick their cock up other man's batty and have preference for women who are light or white. See the imbalance right there? It actually is time to forget African-American men |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 254
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:48 pm: |
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"To be fair to your comment, I can list three black women to add to your list with the exact same dilemma. There are no black men who currently will date them (and they are not bad looking) and they have dated non-black men. But all three desire a relationship with a black man –something they are not getting!"
That is my very point you dumb fool. You referenced your three black women friends who you admit are not bad looking and then you confirm my point by reporting that your friends can get non-black men but that black men are not interested in them. Duh. The same black men who will not give your black female friends the time of day, would no doubt happily plunge their crusty penises in any old monstrous looking toothless white hag. I've seen it before with my own eyes: reasonably attractive (though not very intelligent) black men who walk around with an absolute hag of a white woman and act like they have some kind of shimmering prize by their side. Its like they believe that even a used-up heroin addict, who is all covered in sores and has three kids by three different men is just fine - as long as she is white. |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1112
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:51 pm: |
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Posters have mentioned Black women should widen their dating options yet what if where you live plays a huge obstacle in dating outside your race? |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 257
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:57 pm: |
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BB: where do you live?
What have your dating experiences with black men been like? |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 799
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 04:58 pm: |
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"One part of the problem is that statistically black women are better educated and more upwardly mobile than black men. Black women are more likely........ women who are light or white. See the imbalance right there? It actually is time to forget African-American men"
Ha! Ha! Ha! No need to comment. The angst and pain of this girl is beyond evident. Carping against American black men is her only source of retaliation. But if one looks closely, none of her angry blather and venomous rants against black men changes the unfortunate dilemma so many black women are experiencing. Sad...sad...sad.....
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Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 258
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:01 pm: |
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I'm saddened that you find it funny, Ntfs, that so many black men are incarcerated or uneducated. You don't seem to have much of a grip on current economic and social realities |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 800
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:01 pm: |
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"Posters have mentioned Black women should widen their dating options yet what if where you live plays a huge obstacle in dating outside your race?"
Ouch! Good question. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 259
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:04 pm: |
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Ntfs_encryption, I have a new friendly nickname I want to give you. Ashy-Jig. I think its cute. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 260
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:06 pm: |
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And, Ashy-Jig, i think the part that I and some others here do not understand is the GLEE in your claims that nobody at all wants black women. Why would you be so gleeful if you don't - as several of us suspect - despise black women? Please advise. Many thanks. |
Totusdulcidine
Newbie Poster
Username: Totusdulcidine
Post Number: 26
Registered: 08-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:09 pm: |
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Why should I have to verify that statement. You honestly believe more than half of all relationships that begin between Black men and women survive 'til death do they part?
Abm, that question was completely rhetorical (trying to make a joke, failed miserably). No, I do not think that all Black male and females relationships survive "til death us do part."
And there's more to getting a good husband than wanting one and getting a degree and a good job. In fact, OFTEN those things don't really have much at all to do with each other.
Maybe not but statistically they are two of the variables that decrease your chances of divorce.
Also, the 50% divorce rate statistic is not accurate here is an interesting article: http://www.divorcereform.org/nyt05.html
However, if you break those statistics down by age, race, religion, education, income it will differ to what degree I am not sure.
But you are correct in stating that you have to get married in order to get divorced. By age 30, 81 percent of white females have been married, whereas only 52 percent of Black females. So it seems to be a statistical eventuality that Black females will look to non-black males as marriage material if marriage is what they are seeking.
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Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 261
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:17 pm: |
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I did a quick search on posts by Ashy-Jig (ntfs). I see that he has a history of putting black women down and idolizing light, white and Asian women. From now on I will regard his posts as bs and not read them. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 803
Registered: 10-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:40 pm: |
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”And, Ashy-Jig, i think the part that I and some others here do not understand is the GLEE in your claims that nobody at all wants black women.”
Stop it Boo Boo! Stop all these groundless accusations. I never said no one wants black women. I have asserted numerous times there are men who will date black women. I even stated I see black women –with children, in relationships with Hispanic and white men. But when you look at black women as a group (again!), they are not desired, as a group, by non-black men. That is the crux of what ABM and I said. That’s all!
”Why would you be so gleeful if you don't - as several of us suspect - despise black women? Please advise. Many thanks.”
Groan….for the umpteenth time –I TAKE NO GLEE IN THE PROBLEMS BLACK WOMEN FACE! If you would take the time to competley read and stop cherry picking parts of my post, you would see that I have stated this numerous times before. It serves no purpose for me to despise black women. I have no axe to grind. My mom, grandmother, auntie and three female cousins are all black! I love these women dearly. They are members of the group you claim I despise. But you are sadly mistaken and wrong. I have put this in writing for you and others to see. SO DON’T ACCUSE ME OF DESPISING BLACK WOMEN AGAIN!
As I have stated numerous times since you and I have been going at, I know the things I post offend you, but they are true. So don’t hate and call me vindictive names (something I don't do to you). I’m not responsible for the problems black women face. Your anger is misguided my dear.
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Grind
Regular Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 113
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:43 pm: |
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"I see that she has a history of putting black men down and idolizing light, white and Asian men."
Igbogirl,
To be fair, only 1 in 4 of Tonya's posts can be characterized that way. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 263
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:55 pm: |
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^^^^^^^^Grind, what are you talking about? I didn't ever say that Tonya put black men down. The only comments I've made about Tonya have been positive. I think she's great. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1370
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 05:58 pm: |
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ABM, I still think that one big reason that black women don't want to marry outside of their race, is because they TRULY want black children.
AS A MATTER OF FACT.....
SOMEONE PLEASE give me a recommendation for a book that would convince or suggest to someone that the most beautiful children are those that look the most like their father....a book that would convey the wonder of looking into a child's face, and seeing your own face. I would like to buy it for someone. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1371
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 06:03 pm: |
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We women will DATE non-black men. But when it's time to get married and have children, we really want a BLACK man more than any other man. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3241
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 06:04 pm: |
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Grind, first of all, who are you quoting? And if 25% of my posts "can be characterized that way," pull five and post them here. We already know how you like taking things out of context.
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Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3242
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 06:09 pm: |
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"The only comments I've made about Tonya have been positive. I think she's great."
I'm starting to warm to you too, Igbogirl. You seem like a THURL sista, lol.
I think you're a great person as well. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 334
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 06:15 pm: |
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Renata, I just don't see that. Plus, let's not forget the swarms of black women and black men who want to breed outside their race to produce "prettier" children. By the way, if you ever get sick of looking at your baby boy's face, you can send him my way. I LOVE babies, don't care about their hair grade, complexion, none of that shit! Ya heard?!?!?!
I didn't post in this thread to put black men down like others have had, or to uplift white boys either. I have gone on dates with established black men, a number of them prefer to date only black women and will most likely marry one...one day...in the distant-ass future...when they tire of their harems. LOL!
I recommend that black women (the good-natured, educated, sophisticated, attractive ones) get out there and join networking groups, gyms, art galleries, rock climbing, pottery class. Learn about wines (shiraz goes best with beef, yadda, yadda, yadda), get an online dating account like e-harmony and "broaden them horizons". Get out of the 'hood, stop watchin' BET, put down the Popeyes and those fake-ass acrylic tips. |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3244
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 06:32 pm: |
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"I recommend that black women (the good-natured, educated, sophisticated, attractive ones) get out there and join networking groups, gyms, art galleries, rock climbing, pottery class. Learn about wines (shiraz goes best with beef, yadda, yadda, yadda), get an online dating account like e-harmony and "broaden them horizons". Get out of the 'hood, stop watchin' BET, put down the Popeyes and those fake-ass acrylic tips."
And since some of us are pretty, don't have a hard time holding on to our youth and don't need all of that...I recommend that sistahs from all backgrounds keep it tight and let the men do all the work. And fuck anybody who wanna hate. |
Doberman23
Veteran Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 518
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 07:18 pm: |
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tonya... you had me at popeyes. |
Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1373
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 07:40 pm: |
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Girl, you ain't getting my baby no time soon!
I don't care what my son looks like....but you know how everyone (well, women anyways) picture what their children will look like before they have any.
As for breeding to try to get them lighter, etc., I can only speak for my old neighborhood. The women there my age have an average of 5 to 7 children, and the children are all black, not mixed. My son would even stick out in my old neighborhood. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 808
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 08:13 pm: |
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".....I can only speak for my old neighborhood. The women there my age have an average of 5 to 7 children, and the children are all black, not mixed."
OMG!!! Where do you live...? |
Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3245
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 08:25 pm: |
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C'mon, Dobes, you know you want your girl to keep it tight too. |
Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 97
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 08:27 pm: |
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Renata, your little man is GORGEOUS!
I'm a cheek-pincher and his cheeks are delicious. Oh, those cheeks! |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 266
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 08:53 pm: |
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recommend that black women (the good-natured, educated, sophisticated, attractive ones) get out there and join networking groups, gyms, art galleries, rock climbing, pottery class. Learn about wines (shiraz goes best with beef, yadda, yadda, yadda), get an online dating account like e-harmony and "broaden them horizons". Get out of the 'hood, stop watchin' BET, put down the Popeyes and those fake-ass acrylic tips"
Come on, "educated and sophisticated" sisters don't rock acrylic tips or live on Popeyes!! |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 810
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 09:06 pm: |
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"....recommend that black women (the good-natured, educated, sophisticated, attractive ones) get out there and join networking groups, gyms, art galleries, rock climbing, pottery class. Learn about wines (shiraz goes best with beef, yadda, yadda, yadda), get an online dating account like e-harmony and "broaden them horizons". Get out of the 'hood, stop watchin' BET, put down the Popeyes and those fake-ass acrylic tips"
Sounds like excellent advice to me. I agree. Nice post.
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Schakspir
Veteran Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 660
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 09:12 pm: |
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ABM: Again. Why aren't they being rescued from their loneliness by battalions of Pierce Brosnans and Matt Damons?
Schakspir: Abm, so few white men are actually in their league. Your average white guy is a schmuck.
One of the reasons why so many men shy away from black women is that many men can't put up with that brassy, working-class attitude that so many of them have. Apparently, I've noticed the same amongst Jewish women, which is why half of all Jewish men won't have SHIT to do with a Jewish woman--some will take a black woman first! |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 269
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 09:27 pm: |
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And white non-Jewish women don't ever have a "brassy, working-class attitude"? And black men don't? LMFAO |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 270
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 09:39 pm: |
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"Schakspir: Abm, so few white men are actually in their league. Your average white guy is a schmuck."
The average white man is actually at a much higher socio-economic level than the average black man. He's also way way less likely to go to prison and way more likely to have some degree of education (even if that only means graduating high school)
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Urban_scribe
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Urban_scribe
Post Number: 98
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 09:39 pm: |
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A little piece of advice my mom gave me when I was around 16 and first allowed to date was: "Find someone who adds to your happiness."
I guess I'm in the minority because I am a Black woman who has been married not once, but twice. (And divorced twice). Both to Black men who were and are good men.
So while I do not oppose and am not closed to dating non-Black men, I do hold Black men in high esteem and Black men are my preference. My ex-husbands added to my happiness while we were together but during the course of our marriage we grew apart. It happens. But we've remained cordial to one another plus, we have children.
Now that I'm back on the dating scene, the men I encounter have big shoes to fill because first and foremost I seek a man who is going to add to my happiness. I don't mean that in a financial sense per se, although I ain't messing with no broke ni**er cuz I ain't no broke bitch - I bring something to the table and he brings something to the table. It's a partnership and a two-way street. But a man must make love to my mind before he gets the drawers! If he can't hold my attention, match my intellect, and touch my heart then he may as well keep on walking.
So, I'm open to going out on a FIRST DATE with virtually anybody. I meet men all the time who ask for my number and if they strike me as decent enough I'll give it to them. If he actually calls and asks me out, I'll go out with him. To me the first date is merely a test drive. It's the second, third, fourth, etc, dates that count. And I'm particular; I like masculine, manly men. The first feminine gesture I pick up on is a total deal breaker.
So I'll pass along my mom's advice to men and women regardless of their backgroung - find someone who adds to your happiness.
Experience has taught me: Whether you're Black and you date/marry Black; White and date/marry White; Asian and date/marry Asian - people are always going to have something to say. So, forget them and do you. Besides, dating and/or marrying within your own ethnic background DOES NOT GUARANTEE compatibility and happiness. Do YOU. |
Schakspir
Veteran Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 661
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:17 pm: |
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Igbogirl: And white non-Jewish women don't ever have a "brassy, working-class attitude"? And black men don't? LMFAO
Schakspir: Many Black women's attitudes are frequently worse than most. This is why a lot of men simply stay away. |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1113
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:41 pm: |
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"BB: where do you live?
What have your dating experiences with black men been like?"
I live in Michigan.
Lately, most of the guys are just interested in sex and nothing else. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 272
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 10:45 pm: |
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Schakspir, I think the crucial factor that you are forgetting is that it is black men who have the worst attitudes of all. Black men actually bring out the worst in black women often.
Example: a black male approaches a sista and crudely asks her for a date or simply to fuck him. She turns him down, perhaps with some sharpness in her voice. His response: see, you fucking black bitches ain't shit. I'ma get me a white woman.
This happens time and time again.
Even in my own experience I have had black men ask me out and when I've turned then down they turn VENOMOUS and start saying "you black women ain't shit anyway" |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1114
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:06 pm: |
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I've noticed that the older generation of Black men are still very much interested in Black women.
It's just the younger generation of Black males in my age group, (16-24) who say their reasons for choosing white girls as mates are because they are less money hungrey.
And at my job, there are young guys who are around (18-20) who often brag about how so many White girls are literally doing whatever is necessary to get with them--offering them money and gifts. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 811
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:51 pm: |
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”Black men actually bring out the worst in black women often.”
Ya know, I will concede to that. Obviously it doesn’t apply to every black man (like me), but I have seen some very abusive and disrespectful black men who seem to have little to no regard to the feelings of the women they interact with (black, white, et al -it doesn't matter). I can imagine the disappointment and frustration many black women face when dealing with these knuckleheads especially when it comes to child abandonment and denial of fatherhood.
“Example: a black male approaches a sista and crudely asks her for a date or simply to fuck him. She turns him down, perhaps with some sharpness in her voice. His response: see, you fucking black bitches ain't shit. I'ma get me a white woman.”
Well, I don’t know about the getting a white woman part, but I do know some guys do not like being rejected and they will resort to profanity and insults when turned down. I’m sure a few sista’s on this board have had to deal with brothers who responded in a hostile and offensive manner when they were turned down. I know a black female friend of mine was downtown recently and she told me a disheveled raggedy ass crack head looking young black man hit on her. When she rebuffed his advances, he blurted out in a crowd of people; “What? Fuck you! You black bitch! I bet yo pussy stank anyway!” WTF? He didn’t even know her but he felt compelled to degrade her since she did not want him.
I guess it works both ways because I have seen some abusive behavior by arrogant black women towards brothers who were very civil in their approach. The entire dating-mating game can really be un-nerving and frustrating. Those of you who are in secure relationships should feel relieved.
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Tonya
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3246
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:52 pm: |
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Exactly, Igbogirl.
I do not cuss out all men or act rude to all of them. I have a very sweet side, but it takes the right kind of man to bring it of me. If he's someone that I'm not attracted to, I will not cross my legs or smile or act dainty. For what? It's a waste of time. But there are some guys who are just so fucking smooth and sexy that when I'm around them, I find myself doing shit I wouldn't normally do. Sometimes I hate myself afterward. LOL! Cuz I'm like, who the hell was that person!?! But it's true. The right kind of man can get any side of me he desires. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 279
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, September 28, 2006 - 11:58 pm: |
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Now, if a white man approached me, I turned him down and then he screamed FUCK YOU, YOU BLACK BITCH YOU AIN'T SHIT ANYWAY, I think I would actually faint. No actually I wouldn't faint, I'd knock him the fuck out.
Not because I think white men are so perfect but because I just can't imagine one of them going there. However, black men have actually uttered the above phrase to me on more than one occasion and most of my black female friends have been spoken to by a black man in that way too, at least once. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 280
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 12:03 am: |
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The other day I was in the Vitamin Shoppe. The guy who works there is black and he's really nice and a lot of fun. He gave me some kind of free book that was part of a promotional offer. When he handed it to me, I said, "oh, great - it's free? How come?" He then made a big deal out of my reaction, saying that I seemed so refined and polite. He then commented that the last black woman who got the free book earlier that day, grabbed the book out of his hand, said, "what the fuck is this? this shit better be free cuz you know i ain't paying for no damn book i didnt' even ask for." My point is that this black man seemed SURPRISED that a black woman would speak in a normal polite way rather than screaming and being ghetto.
That is sad. I feel that black men - even nice ones - often have a very low expectation of black women just because of SOME previous experiences they've had. This means that they are going into their interactions with black women with a bias against black women. By the same token they often have a sugar-and-spice ideal of white women and imagine that ALL black women are more refined and feminine. Thus they go into their interactions with white women with pleasant expectations and a positive bias.
We all know how that goes. You attract what you put out there. If you go out one day EXPECTING to get cussed left and right and have a shitty day, you likely will. If you go out one day thinking all's right with the world and that everything is going your way, it probably will. |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1117
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 12:18 am: |
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Igbogirl, how old are you?
Initially in your thread you stated that you've dated White men --are they the same age as you? Because it seems only older & mature White men are interested in dating Black women. The White guys my age are not.
Whenever I see an interracial couple between a Black woman and a White man the woman is usually in her early to mid 20s with a 40+ older White male. |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 283
Registered: 09-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 08:37 am: |
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Hey BB, I'm late 20s. The white men I've dated have always been the same age as me or a couple years younger. Last white boyfriend was mid-twenties. When I was in my teens, the white boyfriends were in their teens. Are you in college or anything like that? You meet a lot of the younger white men there. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6435
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 10:47 am: |
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Igbogirl,
Are you currently dating or married to any of those wonderful White men with whom you've met over the years?
If you're not, why aren't you?
But if you are, why B*TCH about Black men? |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 287
Registered: 09-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 11:05 am: |
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"Igbogirl,
Are you currently dating or married to any of those wonderful White men with whom you've met over the years?
If you're not, why aren't you?
But if you are, why B*TCH about Black men?"
I broke up with a white man at the end of June. He had a lot going for him - attractive, Ivy League education, gentle and considerate, owned a house - but I just wasn't in love with him. He was in love with me, so he said. My family and friends thought he was great but since I just didn't feel he was The One, what was the point in continuing? Even my dog adored him though. Since then I have been dating but I'm not really wanting to jump into anything serious quite yet. The men I have been on dates with since the breakup have been biracial and white with one Arab. And Abm I am not sure if you know this, but in this day and age not all women see getting married as their greatest goal. I am in no hurry at all to get hitched. I could happily stay unmarried for at least another 5 years or more. I hope that answers your question.
One of the last black American man I went on a date with was a few years ago. He was the very darkskinned man who started laughing nervously when an equally darkskinned female actor appeared on the screen at the cinema and making fun of the woman's appearance. Needless to say, I didn't want to see him again after that. Can anyone say self-hate! The black American I dated after that was well-educated and quite successful. But gradually I realized that he smoked weed nearly every day. AND then it emerged that he was three months behind on his rent and about to get evicted BUT he still found enough money to keep on buying bags of weed.
I just find that there's more variety when it comes to white men and that the men themselves are of a higher quality. Black men who are broke, addicted to weed or have other serious serious problems will still have the nerve to step to a black woman who has her shit together. White men on the other hand generally wouldnt' step to such a woman unless they too have their shit together. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6436
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 11:28 am: |
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Igbogirl,
If women do not see getting married as a primary life goal or directive, then the thoughts and behavior of men - so long as the men do not infringe upon you - should hardly matter to you. You should hardly care what Black men think and feel about skintone, hair texture, etc.
Also, and this is what young women like yourselves don't really want to accept: A GREAT part of the cost of your freedom and liberation from Black men is that Brothas have also been liberated from YOU.
Brothas are now free to think about and behave towards you in ways that they could not before. They're free to view you to be no more special or unique than any other potential asset or liability to their lives. They're free to favorably/unfavorably compare/contrast you with White, Black or Yellow women, much like they can juxtapose styles of automobiles and clothing.
And that’s fine. Because, after all, are you not doing the very SAME thing when YOU judge White men you met to have “higher quality” than Black men? Gravy for the goose is gravy for the gander, baby.
Again. What’s your purpose for coming here? If you’ve found White men to be more to your suit, you should go chat with them about WHATEVER it is BW/WM are inclined to vibe about. |
Fortified
Regular Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 338
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 11:53 am: |
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^^^^^^LOL @ Abm |
Igbogirl
Regular Poster
Username: Igbogirl
Post Number: 290
Registered: 09-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 12:01 pm: |
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"Again. What’s your purpose for coming here? If you’ve found White men to be more to your suit, you should go chat with them about WHATEVER it is BW/WM are inclined to vibe about."
I didn't realize that you had to be interested in dating black men in order to come to this board......
Also, and this is what young women like yourselves don't really want to accept: A GREAT part of the cost of your freedom and liberation from Black men is that Brothas have also been liberated from YOU
I don't consider the fact that trifling black men worship at the altar of white pussy more and more these days to be any great loss to me. Because of their love affair with going to prison and fathering multiple children with multiple partners, very few black men fulfil my requirements or interest me, when it comes to finding a life partner. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6438
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 12:21 pm: |
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Igbogirl,
You're free to express yourself how you choose to here. And I (and others) are free to express how WE think and feel of it.
That's the deal here, girl.
Look. It seems to me that if you're so much more into White men than you are Black ones, WHY waste your precious time here with us. There are millions of White guys out there you could enjoy chatting away with. I mean, surely you'd much more enjoy and benefit from their 'company' than you would that of these ‘inferior’ Black men here.
Right?
But then, perhaps you come here as some agent to help promulgate the White Male Superiority apparatus.
Perhaps...
And if brothas worshipping at the "altar of white pu$$y" don't mean shyt to you, what's your beef with their doing that? You should be happy that they're happy. Just as brothas should be happy that you're happy getting dycked by Bob, Lenny and Stan. |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1326
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 01:29 pm: |
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Man, seeing those adorable baby pictures almost makes me want another one. ALMOST! With my history and at my age I'd probably have another set of twins--or more! One more I might could handle. Any more than that and I'd probably have a nervous breakdown! I do not know how all my female ancestors with 6+ kids did it... |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 6440
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 01:47 pm: |
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Yvettep,
My dad's mom's had SIXTEEN kids. Chick's STILL alive and kicking will be ONE HUNDRED years old in a few years. |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1118
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 02:59 pm: |
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I guess Black women are just doomed to be old maids--or some White man's slampiece.
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Renata
Veteran Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 1381
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 04:22 pm: |
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DAMN, Abm and Yvette.... them's a lot of kids...Most of the girls I grew up with have a minimum of 5 kids.
This ONE kid I have is kicking my ass....he might end up an only child. |
Yvettep
Veteran Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1328
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, September 29, 2006 - 04:50 pm: |
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LOL @ Renata. ABM, my hat is off to your Grandmother! You all better have a MAJOR celebration for her! |
Doberman23
Veteran Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 524
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 30, 2006 - 12:32 pm: |
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brownbeauty123 you live in michigan? i thought i was the only one ... boooo! do you live near canton? |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1126
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 30, 2006 - 12:36 pm: |
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Heck, no! LOL I'm in Southfield, near Detroit.
But I have in-laws that live in Canton. Where you at?
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Doberman23
Veteran Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 526
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 30, 2006 - 12:42 pm: |
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canton, right next to the westland boarder. small world eh? |
Brownbeauty123
Veteran Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 1129
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 30, 2006 - 12:46 pm: |
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Very small world!
I know you have to be bored out of your freakin mind living out in Canton lol I'm a city girl. Although, the homes are very nice out there. Is it still a lot of Whites in your neighborhood? |
Doberman23
Veteran Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 527
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, September 30, 2006 - 12:56 pm: |
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hellz no, you have to remember it only takes 25 minutes to get to detroit and it only takes 20 minutes to get to ann arbor. so i'm right where i wanna be, besides the neighborhoods in canton are good to go, i couldn't live in the "D" nickaz are too crazy there for me. as far as the white folks... well i grew up in the burbs so it's pretty normal to me. |
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