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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 5142
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 02:42 pm: | 
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Was anyone beside me struck by the implications of the dialogue between Moonsigns and Kola, an exchange that occurred in "why do men frequent sex clubs" thread? A resolute Moonsigns, obviously revolted by the idea of men frequenting sex clubs took aim at the pole dancers who provide this entertainment saying, "most women who exploit men's weaknesses are stupid, and any woman who will go so low to exploit herself, especially in a sexual nature, it is a tell-tale sign of deep emotional and spiritual unhappiness." A cynical Kola takes exception to this opinion, telling Moonsigns: "you're trying to delude yourself into thinking you're superior than a 'ho because you're stupid enough to want some man to love, cherish and marry you. The same MF that ho's can build an empire off of, no matter how much he loves you, because men separate sex and love.(sic) They can fuck a piece of fresh hot ass and not even remember the face that went with it." Not to be deterred, a staunch Moonsigns answers: "any woman(even ugly women) can use their pu$$y to get just about any man they want- for a night. However, having a man truly love and adore a woman is completely different than him phucking some chick he is only using for a short term..." In describing women like herself, Moonsigns states: ..."they care about the one man that will give them everything without it ever costing them their dignity." Equally unflappable, after giving an account of how she loved being both a housewife and a slut, Kola remarks that "a woman's freedom is that she can have it either way, truth be told." She further taunts Moonie by asserting: "I can tell by reading your posts that your husband is fucking another women," later adding that "I can tell you right now that your marriage is going to end, either that or you'll have to get used to some humiliations"... and: ..."if I was on your block, I bet I could fuck your husband tonight". Concluding this vent, Kola informs Moonsigns: "you being married and having a false sense of security built off the fact that you're ignorant about the male animal and what it truly takes for a marriage to survive does not make you superior to a 'ho. You just choose a different experience" Not one to keep her silence, Cynique interjects "...I found that the less I tried to possess my husband, the less I needed to rein him in...women who want to be the center of a man's universe, who want to be his sun, moon and stars often end up just being his warden." Totally unfazed by Cynique's testimony, Moonie forges ahead. "The mindset of a self-respecting woman is superior because she refuses to sell out and will be alone before she phucks another woman's husband or significant other...the whorish woman is like a crack-junkie relying on the next man-fix...And don't delude yourself into believing that self-respecting women aren't enjoying sex...I'm married, so I expect to be appreciated, cherished and loved."
During the course of this discussion, Kola also told Moonsigns: "You are really sexist when it comes to women's options and women's ability to correctly size up and manipulate situations offered by men"...Kola also noted that: "this is a man's world, and some women don't give a fuck about having a man, being adored by one - they just want the same thing a man wants--to get ahead, to get over" - a credo which undoubtedly contributed to what inspired Tonya to voice her approval thusly: "THAT THERE MY SISTA IS THE TRUTH...RAWER THAN I'VE EVERR-RRRR HEAR IT...BUT THE TRUTH NONETHELESS...I'M TRYNNA TELL YOU IT'S THE TRUTH!"
To me what is significant about this exchange is that Moonsign's mentality represents the vestiges of what "virtuous white womanhood" is all about. Implicit in her lofty attitude is the expectation to be put on a pedestal because this is the traditional entitlement white men have granted their women. On the other hand Kola went on the defense, like so many black women are prone to be. That's because they are afraid to let their guards down. They really want to abandon their tough facades and they yearn for everything that an idealistic Moonsigns dares to demand from her man. But they are disillsioned and hurt and case-hardened. If her man puts her on a pedestal, a black woman consider herself lucky. When her man puts her on a pedestal, a white woman expects it. Even so, Kola has reason to poo-poo Moonie's confidence. You can try all you want to breed the dog out of any man. But don't count on doing so. They aren't above lifting a leg to pee on a pedestal. IMO. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3289
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 03:33 pm: |
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Cynique:
They aren't above lifting a leg to pee on a pedestal. IMO.
KOLA:
WELP, the Queen has spoken.
And for the record--I do feel that I have had what Moonsigns claims to have had...although something in her staunch irritability and her VENOMOUS HATRED for "Ho's" made me doubt that she has a good marriage at all.
I mean come on---you can't have a SOLID marriage and display that level of resentment/annoyance for "whorish" women. It was TELLING...IMO.
But anyway...I honestly do believe that I've had the
greatest love
with my children's father that any woman could experience.
We are separated after 10 years together, but we remain CLOSE FRIENDS, and we've vowed to sit on the porch as "old folks" and stew in that sincere friendship.
The thing is....I'm also a believer in NATURE.
Especially the hypothesis that Men and Women, by nature---are not monogamous. I believe that.
We are conditioned to be monogamous.
And I also believe the Scientific edict that men, by nature, look to impregnate women when their waists are narrow and their hips wide....and that in their natural GONAD state...they generally lose interest in a woman after 4 to 7 years.
In a natural world, they would keep her (off to the rear) but add a NEW woman.
It's our SOCIAL conditioning--morals, religions, economic etc...and our ROLE ASSIGNMENTS...that make them stick around longer (according to science)-----OR-----in Kola's opinion, it's good old fashioned "friendship" that makes them accept one another warts and all--which ALSO makes it possible to stick around longer.
It's called the "SOCIAL ORDER".
But I think a REAL WOMAN is open...to being a woman.
And once you do that, there are several different types of women that you have the option of being...all at different stages and times.
That's what a woman IS--she's a human being.
I'm in complete agreement with Alice Walker's contention that she'd rather "die" than be a "LADY". I know exactly what she means.
It's better to be womanish.
I feel, in all truthfulness, that I really have had my cake..and ate it too.
I've fucked gorgeous and not so gorgeous men all over the world (talk about an array of memories for pie baking time).
And I've also been LOVED and placed on a pedestal by ONE MAN--given the babies I wanted, the home, the gifts.
I can cook with the best of them and I can hold a conversation on just about anything.
When I don't like something about the world--I write a book about it.
I wasn't begrudging Moonsigns her own standards--I respect that---but her defiling of so called "whores" just really seemed stupid to me....and I think that my PATH yielded more fruit than what Moon describes.
Virtuous White womanhood may tickle some women's bosoms with a romantic flush.
But a black woman who dares to be herself is more than a notion---namely, because she's always been forced to be a whole WOMAN.
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Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 5144
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 07:57 pm: |
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I understand what you are saying, Kola. And I wasn't extolling this being put on a pedstal illusion; it has its drawbacks. It tends to neutralize a woman's indepedence and to inhibit her giving full sway to her womanhood. Total commitment is a beautiful concept. Unless, of course, you're a free spirit. Remember, I'm the one who doesn't believe in "possessing" your mate. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 3290
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, September 10, 2006 - 09:37 pm: |
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Oh Cynique, my rebuttal wasn't aimed at you. That's why I said the Queen has spoken.
I knew where you were coming from---and the kicker is that we BOTH like Moonsigns (though I can really be bitchy towards her, just so she doesn't get too comfy and carried away.)
But I knew exactly what you meant just by the feel of your answers.
You're older and so much better at putting these women issues more "diplomatically".
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 981
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, September 11, 2006 - 03:34 am: |
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"And for the record--I do feel that I have had what Moonsigns claims to have had...although something in her staunch irritability and her VENOMOUS HATRED for "Ho's" made me doubt that she has a good marriage at all.
I mean come on---you can't have a SOLID marriage and display that level of resentment/annoyance for "whorish" women. It was TELLING...IMO"
I don't understand, why? |
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