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Sumjones
First Time Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 1
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 13 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, July 09, 2006 - 10:57 pm: | 
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Hello all. Let me start by saying that I have been a reader of these messageboards for a few months (after reading Kola's autobiography - love it!) and I just had to register in order to post this story.
Let me begin by saying that I am a 37 year old black female who has never been married and has no children. I work in corporate America, own my own very beautiful brand new home and I am very attractive. I have spent the last 7 years really honing in on my career but I have also been looking for love as I would like to get married and have children. As a personal choice, I would not have a child out of wedlock. I must admit that as I got more serious about settling down, I only considered black men for marriage. First of all, I actually love being black which is a trait that sadly, I don't think the majority of black people (at least the men) share anymore. Secondly, my thinking being that I have a historical and moral obligation to stand beside the black man. We need to build strong black families and why should I after struggling and fighting white people (at every step) in corporate America for everything that I have, go and hand it back to the white man.
As background, let me also say that my brother who my mother put through undergrad and post-graduate school (no loans on his part) recently married a white woman. He was unable to find a suitable job when coming out of college, while the black women he knew in college were getting their jobs as lawyers, doctors etc. To be honest, he did not really try to find a job post-graduation. He sat around alot. But anyway...during this time he started to talk about dating white, turned Republican, a few months later found a white girl and married her. She is absolutely nothing special. No personality at all, not a professional, not particularly good looking while he is very handsome(and I give her more credit than others in the family on that front). Let's put it this way...if she were black, she would unacceptable to him. This was really disappointing to me because my mother and I (and countless black girlfriends of his) have always tried to build up his black manhood, support his dreams, and help him financially so that he would not "slip through the cracks." He also showed himself to me to be someone who would try to use me and others in my family by stating after meeting a cousin that we hadn't seen in years "Hmm, so how can we use what she does to our advantage!" I was quite upset over his complete change and his decision to marry this girl. Please note, that both our black mother and father, who are divorced, said NOTHING about his decision (a point NOT lost on me).
I hate to admit it but I just don't see him in the same way anymore. I look at pictures of him and it is like we are not related. This is the truth and what I feel in my heart, I know it might not be right but it is the truth. I have also made a decision not to ever help him in the future. If I should die (remaining unmarried), he will inherit nothing - I will leave it to a black charity.
Ok, so here is the start of my story. I was recently speaking on the phone to one of my oldest friends of 20+ years who is of Hispanic decent but looks white (blond hair, blue eyes). She was telling me about her 4th of July and how she went with her neighbor to a Dominican (read black) girl's house for a party. The girl that she went with is a white Jewish girl who she always says craves attention. Initially the Jewish girl did not think that they would have fun because the Dominican girl is now dating a black Jamaican guy and the Jewish girl thought that they would have "thugish" friends at the party. She even suggested that they take seperate cars in case she wanted to leave early. Immediately, my ears tweaked up at this reference to "thugish" friend but I let it go for the moment.
She then recounts for me how they actually ended up having a nice time because the Jewish girl was getting alot of attention from the black guys at the party. Even to the point of sitting on ones lap and flirting with him (hmmm, my intuition is telling me). So then my friend tells me that she has conversations with the Jewish girl before and she has said that she would never have a serious relationship or marry a black man. Ok, so back to the party.
The host, who if you recall is Dominican (although they never cop to being black even if they are black as a night), says to my friend "Oh, I see (Jewish girl) is having a great time. I didn't know that she liked black guys. Since apparantly she does, I have a black male friend that I would like to set her up with. He has his own business and even has a few race cars. He is 39, no kids, never married and he is now looking for a serious relationship. But he DOESN'T DATE BLACK GIRLS."
At this point, the Jewish girl comes over and catches the tail end of the conversation and says "Sure, I'll meet him." The Dominican girl gets the black guy and they are introduced. The black guy gives the Jewish girl his number. Let me also say that this Jewish girl has no education, no desire to do anything with her life other than be married, doesn't cook and doesn't have a pot to pee in or window to throw it out of. The Jewish girl then tells him, "Oh, well thanks, but just to let you know, I am not ready for anything heavy right now so I don't want to give out my number." Of course not, because she knows that she wouldn't marry his black azz and doesn't want him to take this seriously. He then debases himself, why clearly anxious to speak more to the girl and says "Well, ok, but if you ever want to go out just call me."
My friend says she asked the girl why she even took his number and the Jewish girl was like "Oh well, it doesn't matter." By this time, I could feel my head about to pop off. I am normally a fairly calm person but something just happened to me at that moment and it was like I SNAPPED. As I started the first three words of a rant that then lasted about 1/2 hour in which I was quite clear about which noose this sellout could swing from with his balls cut off and placed in his mouth by no other than me. Like I said, I snapped. As I started to actually get the first three words of the rant out, my friend had the F-ing nerve to say, "And I was like, you should have let me take that number for my friend if you weren't interested." As if I would want some low life trash like that who woud debase his own mother, sister, aunts, and historically every black women ancestor with his statement. Well, her comment just served to rachet up my blood pressure and the level of my rant. I honestly don't think that I have ever used so many curse words in one conversation in my life. Well, you get the point. And at one point, my friend said "well why does it matter, he said he DOESN'T DATE BLACK GIRLS, it's just his preference. Besides, I am just recounting the story" And during my rant, she just kept saying, "Well why does it matter, I am just telling you a story." It was like 20 years of conversations and her knowing me all went out the window and she had NO IDEA who I was or what the history of black people in this country has been.
I couldn't even sleep that night. I felt like someone had kicked me and kept kicking me right in my stomach and the ache was just going through me until it hit every nerve ending that I had. On the way to work the next morning, I had to hold back the tears because I just felt like crying but I knew that I couldn't and wouldn't.
And then it hit me...
She wasn't just recounting a story. Which didn't ring true when she kept saying it. She was trying to let me know that "You see, you may have everything in life materially - great paying career, big house, and be pretty - but the "black man" who should be your mate will not even CONSIDER you. Instead, he will debase himself just to with someone who looks white and has NOTHING - like she does."
I knew that when I moved into my house, she was jealous because she would not come to see it for a long time. But I blew this off to be normally jealousy that happens with friends sometimes. I have always helped her when I could, over the last few years because she has had very difficult financial times, And she has done the same for me much earlier in our friendship (and vica versa - that's what friends are for). I consider her one of my best friends but would have to admit that she has not been financially prudent over the last 10 years. She has no savings, no home, her car is constantly getting repoed, bad credit...you know the deal. She is slightly older than me and also unmarried. She has been dating a married man for 2 years now which I tell her is not going to get her the marriage and children that she wants in the end. I don't bring it up much though because she tunes me and her sisters out and at the end of the day, it's her life. But the next morning, thinking with a clearer head, I realized exactly what she was trying to do and could more clearly see her motives.
Anyway, back to this sellout story. As I continued to analyze my previous nights rage over the story, I realized what I looked and felt like as I raged:
A widow just before they close the coffin at a funeral parlor. If you've ever seen this, you will know EXACTLY what I am talking about. It seems like just before the coffin closes the widow and some family members start to LOSE IT. They start screaming and throwing themselves on the coffin etc. Because it's the moment when you realize that this person is REALLY dead, not coming back, it's OVER. Do you ever notice that by the time they bring the coffin to the grave site and lower it in the hollering has stopped and there are just slight wimpers.
Then I realized that I had finally come to terms with the fact that the black men DOES NOT feel the love for the black woman any more. No matter what we do, what we accomplish, how we look, how we stay loyal to them..it's just NOT there. At the very least, they devalue us. At the other side of the spectrum, they actually hate us. I realize that this is a form of self-hate but it is still being inflicted upon us. It pains me to think that for all those years I held out misguided loyalty and love that for a ghost, a historic fairytale. I cannot reclaim time, but I realize that I have to take responsibility for my life and my happiness and let this go. Really let it go. I can't blame anyone, not even the black man because he has been showing me signs for sooooo long now and I have been in utter denial. I also realize that the black Dominican woman and black parents like my mother and father also aid in the overall sellout and dismissal of the black woman. The Dominican woman does not see herself as black and have their own serious issues with self-hate. But my own mother. Too filled with low self-esteem and too concerned about losing the only black man who she has ever felt any unconditional love from, her son, to speak. It's a shame. And it's only getting worse out there. I know there will be wimpering but the hardest part for me, I think, is over.
To make matters worse, not only can I name 10 black women just like me but I see the EXACT same thing happening to black women 10 years younger than me. My cousin's mother tells her to "pray." Which really pisses me off, I feel like as her mother she should arm her with more than prayer but realistic expectations. She may be alone for the rest of her life. That is the reality, to sugar-coat it does her a disservice. Or counter to what she has been taught all her life, she may have to date and consider for marriage men of other races. The thing about that is that you have to stop telling the stories of the white man raping black women for centuries if you expect that to be a viable option. The stories breed resentment and hate.
Perhaps in my "friends" attempt to level a slight or blow, she actually helped me to see the truth and finally begin to come to terms with it. I don't know how I will move ahead but I am just going to take it one day at a time because, truthfully, I've never navigated this desert before and I have no idea what lies ahead. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2154
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, July 09, 2006 - 11:15 pm: |
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Hi Sumjones
This was breathtaking...and of course, though many here might bash you...this "testimony" you wrote---means an awful lot to me and a lot of other women here.
Because the TRUTH in it is so palpable and distinct.
And we all are that widow in a way.
Our people are dying...and somehow...through our own denial and self-hate...aiding and abetting a society that HATES the very sight of black people....we have given birth to a legion of Black Male Satans.
And no one can question them.
Truly--as an African woman--I implore you that this is very much like the African slave trade.
All over again.
I'm so enraged and hurt knowing your hurt first hand---that I'm babbling.
Somewhere, your piece should be published.
What a tragedy for our people.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2156
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, July 09, 2006 - 11:47 pm: |
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As for White men raping Black women during slavery.
Black men have been raping and chopping up Black women for Centuries past and STILL DO.
All men have raped Black women--because Black men never protected us.
Not in Africa and not in America.
And when a tribe African men conquers another tribe of African men---the first thing they do is rape the women.
THINK about what you're basing your loyalty on.
NO ONE reveres or cherishes Black women.
NO ONE.
So your loyalty should be to your womb and nothing else.
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Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 2
Registered: 07-2006
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:09 am: |
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Kola,
Thank you very much but it is you who are truly the gifted writer. When I read your chapter on the Authentic Black Man, I just stood in my living room and clapped like I was watching the final scene at the Opera. No one has told our story in the way that you have. Do not feel badly for me, I am a woman who channels pain into learning and ACTION.
I also realize that you tend to have a few rants of your own on these messageboards which may cause people to dismiss your truths. But the truth is like a light in darkness and it cannot be discounted so quickly. Mainstream media, especially black media, will reject you, but your work will live on in the hearts of minds of those whos story you have told.
A time for change has come. As black women we will have to stand and OPENLY take accountability for ourselves and each other in a way like never before. It will also be important to know that we have traitors in our own mists. Self-hating black women who, as we try to help, will try to hurt us even as we circle the wagons.
We may never meet each other and I WILL NEVER be able to publicly acknowledge that I have even read your works much less taken them to heart. But know that you have sparked a revolution in the heart of ONE very resourceful black woman. Remember, we are influential now, holding court and power with and over many. As I told my friend, the "black man" may have started something, but we will end it. And my revolution WILL be televised. |
Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 3
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:10 am: |
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And when own my womb turns on me??? What then. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2157
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:17 am: |
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Sum...you now know what to do with your womb.
That's what "The Authentic Black Man" was all about.
So as I said--let your loyalty be to your womb; and let YOU produce fruit not for what the White folk need, not for what the Black Man need....but produce fruit according to what YOU need.
If Black women had been doing that all along, we would not be in this mess.
But we are ABNORMAL now; wrecked and brainwashed into producing for MASSA...the child HE needs.
Even if you do it ALONE...you should have a child.
Through our offspring is the very greatest power.
You CAN create sons who will smash and destroy this whole system....IF YOU WANT TO.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2158
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:22 am: |
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And I am mentally unstable, Sum...so I will RANT and be irrational.
But I am still RIGHT.
I am still the Motherseed.
Damaged or not. 
I have written it: "the genesis of vision is darkness itself."
And within that statement--you held the power from day one.
I am crazy. But that's what it takes...for someone to stand up in America and do what I DO.
It was you that brought me here, across the sea.
*(I know you know )
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Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 4
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:28 am: |
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Yes, you are absolutely right. Scary, sometime, but dead on.
Everyday is a rebirth. The truth that you speak has to be better understood and spread. The challenge is that some of your statements are so profound and in the midst of so many other non-essential statements that it can sometimes be hard to understand the fullness of the message. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2159
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:34 am: |
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I am raw and uneducated Sum.
So like ZORA before me--some other black woman will have to make them understand.
But each time I give up--GOD raises me.
I am now under contract to Columbia Pictures.
And I can't tell you how that came into being. But it has.
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Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 5
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:39 am: |
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Praise God. He is our one strength and the source of my vision. He will show you that great things can be accomplished if you listen to him. I sometimes think that it is part of his plan to have so many black women unmarried. I think he has a great purpose for us. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2160
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:41 am: |
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We have no choice now, but to have a purpose.
Talking to you...makes me very hopeful.
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Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 6
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:50 am: |
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I know that you cannot divulge too much about the Columbia deal but can you say whether or not you will be writing for feature films? |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2161
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 01:51 am: |
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It's always been my intention to make (write/produce/direct) films about BLACK WOMEN.
That's why I took the job at "Days of Our Lives".
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Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 91
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 01:56 am: |
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GREAT POST! I've been seeing this behavior in bm my entire life. But I still hoped for the fairy-tale happy marriage someday. Yet, deep down I knew the kind of man I wanted didn't exist. All of them are f'd up that way. Even growing up I often heard grown bm make spiteful comments to little girls about their value or lack there of based upon their complexion.
I saw a story on the news last night of yet another bm who was found innocent because of DNA testing after spending 25 years of his life behind bars because of being falsely accused of raping a ww. Yet he was as meek as a lamb, speaking words of sympathy for her and concerned about finding the one who did it so she'll be at piece. This is typical of the generosity and understanding bm reserve for ww no matter what. Yet when it comes to bw they are overwhelmingly critical, fault finding, and condemning over the most trivial things for everything from wearing weaves to all manner of other demeaning gripes they don’t see as a problem with in ww.
In my opinion most Black men are jerks and hate bw. The ones I know who are hooked up with ww are like slaves to them, and often go out of their way to express scorn and contempt for bw to prove their loyalty to ww. They are awful, and certainly shouldn't be trusted so there goes black unity. I've seen them make fools of themselves over and over, and wp know they are being played and they love it.
There is one like that in the community too. He acts obsessed with this ordinary ww and shuffles around catering to her and any other non-black woman in the neighborhood that needs anything, and free of charge, a ride, and handy work, whatever. But bw are beneath him. The ww own these stupid men, they're nothing but self-abasing traitors.
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Prettybabygirl
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Prettybabygirl
Post Number: 367
Registered: 04-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 03:39 am: |
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Excellent post.
Heartbreaking, but too true.
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Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 149
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 03:43 am: |
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more angry bitter black women, looking to blame their problems on an entire nation of men. did the black men in jamaica, brazil, cuba, panama, columbia, equador, peru, trinidad, the bahamas, etc ALL do you women wrong? or just ALL the black men in america? how sad you women are. how lonely. how bitter. its an easy way out to try and blame "black men" for YOUR problems. you women need to look in the mirror. the blame game is getting old. you can't blame 15 to 20 MILLION men for your problems. |
Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 7
Registered: 07-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 06:54 am: |
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Lil_ze - Notice that I say in my post that I CANNOT blame black men because they have been showing me their true nature and desire for a LONG time and I chose not to see it. You are so right - the blame game is old, weak, tired and FINISHED. That is EXACTLY what my post is really about - black women looking in the mirror and looking around them at reality. I believed falsely that "black men" held the same loyalty to me because of our shared history. I was always taught as a young girl to revere the black man, to hold him up.
I CHOSE to be lonely. I did it to myself because I was in denial and in many ways my self-martyrdom was encouraged by my black family, friends and the community at large. It was seen as being "faithful" to the black man. Only I can be responsible for my life, how it turns out and my happiness. Just as I choose to be responsible for my financial, bodily health, mental and emotional health. I will need to be responsible for what and how I chose to CREATE happiness, who I bear loyalty to, who I provide assistance to, and how I mentor the next generation.
NOTE: I am a very good looking black woman and have always been approached by white men. They look at me IN FRONT of their wives, which is the most disrespectful thing I have ever witnessed. They would even comment on my beauty to my ex-boyfriend (who I DO NOT blame for my circumstance,BTW - we did not have shared life-goals). I can remember being in a restuarant with him and the owner was his friend so he knew us. I had just gotten my hair braided and as he was talking to us and standing behind me, he unconsciously started to stroke my braids from the top of my head down (in a quite loving manner, I might add). As I sat there FROZEN still because I KNEW something was about to pop off, my ex quickly put him in CHECK but the moment was very tense. His wife had just walked away. It showed me that the white man already thinks he has the right to us, even in front of "our men." Make no mistake.
I always made sure that they (white men) KNEW my heart was reserved for the black man. At work, my coworkers KNOW not to try to set me up with any white men. So I NEVER for ONE day had to be lonely. I could have been married years ago, if I chose that route. And I am not someone who thinks that white men are all weak, not good looking etc. I just chose to be loyal to the black man. I see what I did to myself and what legions of black women in their 20s and 30s are doing to themselves but where there was a grain of hope, so I kept hoping.
I am not trying to say that everyone should go out and try "Something New" here. But there are real choices to be made and realities to be faced for many black women like myself. We also cannot look to the older generations to understand this new landscape. Many young black women may choose to remain alone, that is their choice. We place alot of pressure on each other to be partnered (not just in black society, in society in general). Others may seek happiness in the arms of men of other races. Others may be single mothers and find happiness in that. This is new and unchartered territory. No one has written this story, no one has charted this course before (at least not in the mass numbers that are coming). The story was for my sisters who are not sharing their stories, who are not hearing the real deal from their peers, family, church or wherever. And it is a story that must be met with ACTION, not pity for ourselves or blame for the black man. In fact, we have already spent far too much time concerned with the plight of the black man and not concerned for our own well-being. I don't see the Washington Post writing about our story (and taking a year to do so). Because in the words of a black woman friend of mine, "We are productive citizens...we don't get enough credit." And we don't help each other enough.
Black men have started a national mentoring program in which they are trying to sign up 2 million black men. I applaud it, let them help each other. They recognize that they must begin to help each other. Just as black women must begin to help each other. I t is time for a CHANGE.
The black women will need to take responsibility for themselves and EACH OTHER (and I don't mean sexually so don't even go there). DIRECTLY helping each other in substantial, meaningful ways that will be witnessed by the society at large. Our power is great and must be harnessed for our own good.
We are a powerful lot and we could emplore the help of very powerful men in the world in order to aid each other. I was never angry, that was part of the f-ing problem. I should have gotten angry a hell of a long time ago. Because when black women actually do get angry, we take ACTION. |
Fortified
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 128
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 09:42 am: |
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Sumjones said:
I always made sure that they (white men) KNEW my heart was reserved for the black man. At work, my coworkers KNOW not to try to set me up with any white men. So I NEVER for ONE day had to be lonely. I could have been married years ago, if I chose that route. And I am not someone who thinks that white men are all weak, not good looking etc. I just chose to be loyal to the black man. I see what I did to myself and what legions of black women in their 20s and 30s are doing to themselves but where there was a grain of hope, so I kept hoping.
*********************************
Yup, and that is why so many attractive, educated sistas are alone. They are waiting for their IBM (ideal Black man), yet they don't know exactly who this is. A mature woman should understand herself, and realize that if her objective is to be married and have children one day, she needs to know the difference between things she must have and things that are nice to have.
For example:
If you need a man who has drive and direction, determine exactly what that means. Does it mean that he has to have an advanced degree? Can a tradesman who contracts out his services have drive and direction?
Do you really need a man who is over 6 feet? Is a man who is 5'8" totally unattractive to you?
When someone shares the same ethnicity as you, what is it exactly that you have in common? Is it the knowledge of the same food and music, or is it something deeper, like shared VALUES? Do you know exactly what values you hold in the highest esteem? I, for example, value family, responsibility and respect. I therefore, would seek someone who holds those values in the same esteem as well, regardless of his ethnicity. He can always learn about the food and music of my heritage later.
Determine what you need from what you would like to have in a mate. Retrace the steps of your past failed relationships. Why didn't they work? The common factor in all of these past relationships is YOU. You have yet to realize what you need. And, until you do, you will either keep going back to the same type of failed relationships, or you will remain alone. It's that simple. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2962
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 09:52 am: |
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Sumjones:
Hello all. Let me start by saying...
Tonya:
Thank you, Sumjones, for posting that; thank you.
You articulated it perfectly. Every word is our story.
I'm not sure if any of us know what lies ahead.
It's not only sad and true; it's terrifying.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4999
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 11:09 am: |
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It's amazing how everythings ENTIRELY the fault of Black men around here. It's as if NONE of you Black women birth, raised and dated any of us.
Maybe Black men are the product of the evil designs of some alien race that is HELLBENT upon destroying the ubiquitous good, wholesomeness and purity of Black women. |
Robynmarie
Veteran Poster
Username: Robynmarie
Post Number: 52
Registered: 04-2006
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:26 pm: |
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That's right Abm.
The level of hatred towards black men on this site is disturbing and bordering on pathological.
Some of these women could teach the KKK a thing or two. Who, black or white, would want to date/marry someone so filled with (self?) loathing and criticism? What part do you play in your own misery? GET A LIFE AND STOP WHINING!!
There are black men all over the world. If you want a good man HE WILL FIND YOU!!! |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 822
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 12:31 pm: |
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I'm sick of reading these posts about how Black women can't get a Black man. Most of the couples I know are Black - so I don't see it. And there ain't no Black men shortage around here, so I can't relate. As usual Kola acts as if she speaks for the entire population of Black ppl, which she does NOT. And the OP probably needs to write a book. Meanwhile, if you're so desperate and bereft for a Black man, move to a city that has a larger Black populace, stop being so doggone choicy about what types of Black men you will date, date older or younger Black men (definitely STOP waiting for the PERFECT man to come along), try some things that are out of your comfort zone such as placing personals ads or LoveMatch.com or whatever it is, ask your friends to set you up on blind dates, get involved in the community, go to sporting events, take up golf - and stop sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Just because you can't get a Black man doesn't mean the entire population of Black women is doomed to settling for limpdick whiteboys. Stop trying to depress the rest of us with your pathetic tales of suffering and doom. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2166
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 01:00 pm: |
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FUCK BLACK MEN.
AND FUCK ANY WOMAN WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK WOMEN'S REALITY...OR THEIR FEELINGS...OR THEIR RIGHT TO MAKE THEMSELVES HEARD.
FUCK BLACK MEN.
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Fortified
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 129
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 01:05 pm: |
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Robynmarie said:
The level of hatred towards black men on this site is disturbing and bordering on pathological.
Some of these women could teach the KKK a thing or two. Who, black or white, would want to date/marry someone so filled with (self?) loathing and criticism? What part do you play in your own misery? GET A LIFE AND STOP WHINING!!
There are black men all over the world. If you want a good man HE WILL FIND YOU!!!
***********
Girl, you ain't neva lied!!! |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2167
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 7 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 01:12 pm: |
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YES SHE DID LIE!
A Black Woman expresses her feelings at being BETRAYED and shares with other black women how she pulled herself together and moved on....and she's WHINING?????
And if BLACK WOMEN on these boards "HATE" Black Men--then it's still not HALF AS MUCH as they should!
How do you hate the birth of a Black child?
How do you hate your own skin and hair?
How do you place the White man's mother above your own?
How do you celebrate every woman but the WOMB that you come from?
How do you PROTECT and PRAISE that which truly HATES you....and DEFILE and DENY that which brought you into this world?
These are the sorriest motherfuckers in creation!!
We don't need a KKK, because these sorry Black self-hating bastards are OUT to destroy our race their damned selves.
So like I said-----FUCK BLACK MEN.
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Robynmarie
Veteran Poster
Username: Robynmarie
Post Number: 54
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 01:30 pm: |
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Whoa, I am fairly new to this site...is this Kola Boof person always so...ah...loving??? |
Dahomeyahosi
Regular Poster
Username: Dahomeyahosi
Post Number: 29
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 02:05 pm: |
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Robynmarie even if you don't agree with the experiences of some of the women on this board it's probably not the best idea to call them pathological and invite them to stop whining. You can't be surprised that this type of introduction engenders bad feelings. Kola and many other dark skinned women have personal stories and perceptions which cause us to lash out. Did you expect a kiss after the insults ? |
Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 94
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 03:03 pm: |
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I think the women who don't relate are the one's who happen to be fortunate enough to have someone or are the type of borderlines bm favor.
But it’s funny how no one notices all the negative stereotyping many bm engage in against bw. We're supposed to just grin and bear it while everyone else airs their grievances at will. -Even if it includes degrading bw as Lil_ze and many other bm, as well as wp continue to do freely. When bm are being portrayed negatively by the media and so on bw are the first to defend them. But they can't extend the same respect and favor, yet expect us not to notice.
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Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 157
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 03:45 pm: |
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If you all really want a black man and are having problems finding good black american men, try black men outside the country. You DO NOT have to lower your standards as mzuri is saying to meet a decent man. because standards are GOOD to have IF you yourself are meeting your own standards. these is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being choosey. I think THATS one of the reasons so many black women are complaining aobut finding a good black man. we aren't choosey ENOUGH. Plus, those of us who DO have good standards are encouraged by the people within our own community to LOWER our standards as if we're not good enough to have what we deserve.
Im so sick of black wmne being told to lower our standards when no other race of women is told this.
Also, another thing you can do is take a look at yourselves...i can fully relate to and understand the things that you are saying sumjones and i know that what you're saying goes on ALOT no matter how many people want to pretend its not there. Black men simply arent giving the same loyalty in return that black women ahve given to black men.....but you also have to look at yourself and ask yourself why you're having these problems...
if you want a black american man try going to the right places to find men... i dont know you personally so i dont know where you're going to meet men at. Good palces to find men would be in grocery stores, on the job, or in Church or in college
another thing you can do is ask yourself what types of vibes are you giving off...i know alot of us can have HORRIBLE attitudes even with other black women....so if you are giving black men attitudes that i know i myself get from ALOT of black women, then i can understand why they wouldn't want to talk to you. We have to face the facts sistas, a good number of us DO ahve bad attitudes for whatever reason. i know there's alot of stress put on us being black women and maybe we take it out on other people who ahvent done a thing to us. Not saying all or most blakc women ahve bad attitudes but a good number of us do. If 40% of us have this attitude problem then that number is still too high. From my experiences though, this attitude problem that black women have is an american thing, i havent' experienced the same type of attitude problems from foreign black women. so all im saying is jsut take a look at yourself. im not saying you yourself have an attitude problem because i've experienced what you have from a good number of black men and i'm not the type who catches attitude with someone who hasn't done anything to me. I treat people liek they treat me.
if you do all of these things and are still having problems with the black men in your are at then i would say move away from wherre you are....move to another city or another state it's a shame that you would ahve to move to find a good black man. If moving isn't an option for you then i would say try foreign black men...i haven't known ethiopian black men to be negative towards black women.....nigerian men on the other hand are a very different story (but some of them are ok). I know there aren't alot of ethiopians or dominicans or puerto ricans in america. I haven't met too many dominicans so i dont know what they're like. and the few nigerian men that i know here in america do have bad attitudes. i've met a few south africans who are cool. Most jamaicans ive met are as womanizing and sexist as hell. So you jsut have to do this for yourself and take your pick on what you're willing to do.
It all depends on how strongly you feel about finding a black man. If you really want a black man that bad try other black men outside our culture, try re-examining yourself and also try looking for men in other states or online.
another thing, i have absolutely nothing against race mixing so i would also advise keeping your options open to men of other races. If you dont' want to move and find it easier to find a good white, native american, asian, or italian man close to your area then so be it. Just so you find happiness. And dont let mzuri fool you, not all white men have small toolies....LOL, especially not italians and men from europe. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 826
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 04:07 pm: |
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Misty - I said stop being so choicy. Didn't say lower your standards. You're reading into my comments more than what is there. We've discussed here about women not wanting a man who's ahalfainchshorter than her "DREAM" man, too light, too dark, 10 lbs to heavy, has a tatoo, got a bald spot on the back of his head, talks too fast, dick too big, things like that. We are the very first ones to find something wrong with our Black man, and then we bitch and complain and whine and moan when he runs off to be with a whitegirl - who worships the water upon which he walks. But thanks for reading my post.
Anyone can post anything here but most people here we don't want to know about your whole life story in your very first post. The OP proceeds to go on and on about how she can't get a man, she had a boyfriend but they did not share life-goals. Huh? WTF is a life goal? Do you really need to be on a 20 year future plan when you get into a relationship. That's why you don't got a man. Too much DRAMA. Too many expectations. Too demanding.
Then the other one steps in with the woe is me tale about how there are NO AVAILABLE BLACK men on the entire face of the planet Earth. None. They're not available for Black women anyway, because EACH and EVERY Black man wants to marry a white girl - or he's on the downlow - or he's in jail or in Iraq or living in his mother's basement - which we all know is a crock.
And then Robyn says "Get a life and stop whining" and guess what - she CAN say that. This is a discussion forum. Freedom of speech and expression live right here.
SJ - If you keep sitting around crying into your soup about how you can't "gitnoman" it ain't gonna happen. Write some poems and go to your local poetry slams, write a book and go to BEA and all the other bookfairs and meet all the available Black authors out here. Your tragic life story might reap some benefits after all. LOL!!! |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5008
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 04:35 pm: |
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Misty,
I'm a married man. So, yeah, what the hell do I know. But I will tell you: There some mean a$$ sistahs out there.
But it's not just sistahs being mean. What's WORSE the relative EASE with which these White chicks will holla at a brotha. And I'm not just talking about the overt I'm hellbent on boning a Black man stuff.
For example, I often ride the local cummuter trains in/around downtown Chicago. And I'm telling you, on average, I am more likely to receive friendly, casual conversation from White women than I am Black women. Moreover, the White women will initiate the conversation.
White chicks will ask about a book or magazine I'm reading. They'll ask what I do for a living. They'll even mention personal things about themselves. Usually nothing too personal. But just enuff to sorta let you know they're comfortable with you are you are with them.
These issues between BM and BW are not as one-sided as some want to assert. Most all these so called sistah-hatin' brothas had Black mothers, sistahs and kin. You trynah tell me those women had ZERO impact upon the character of that man? You mean to tell me they had ZERO effect upon the type of women they'd date and marry.
The shyt just don't make any sense! |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2966
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 05:29 pm: |
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If you can't relate to this BLACK BLACK woman's post..you shouldn't comment.. 'cause none of y'all know what the hellll y'all are talking about.. except Shamika and Kola Boof.. who are BLACK BLACK women.
You all just can't connect. Y'ALL ARE NOT US (ANYMORE). Give us our space. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5016
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 05:37 pm: |
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Tonya,
You're a riot. Honestly. If nobody can relate to what you all are talking about, then, really, what's the point?
Why don't you all run off to some uncharted island and establish some authentic (lesbian) Black woman colony of some sort? Maybe you can keep a few Blue-Black authentic African men around for studding. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 832
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 05:42 pm: |
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You know what Tonya-twat - you rotten divisive octoroon - you ain't runnin shit here. Anyone can comment about any damn thing they please. And it ain't gonna be no got-damn paper bag test over here today. You lame beggin ass bitches already have a spot - it's called the Kola Room - take your sorry-decrepit-I-can't-get-no-dick-sob-story-behinds on over there if you need your own damn space. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 541
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 06:04 pm: |
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Coming from a BM you guys need to get a grip. Now, Kola, Shemika, and the rest of you know how I feel about BW. You know I love them. But you guys are doing the same things that you are accusing these BM of doing. Most BM are married to BW. So what about these stupid self-hating mothafuckas. Our race does not need them anyway.
But Kola for you to say FUCK BLACK MEN that is so hurtful to me (a black man). So BW I promise you that there are BM out there who love and cherish you. You just have to find them. And no Shemika most BM don't hate BW. But do you hate BM? |
Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 96
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 06:38 pm: |
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“Most all these so called sistah-hatin' brothas had Black mothers, sistahs and kin. You trynah tell me those women had ZERO impact upon the character of that man? You mean to tell me they had ZERO effect upon the type of women they'd date and marry.”
Get real, when children start growing up they routinely rebel from their parents views and bond with their peers. Males usually try to identify with what they think other males do whether they live with them or not, be it time spent with fathers on the weekend, their male peers and other relatives, or the media. That's where they take their queue on valuing women too. Men have a strong tendency to be arrogant and want to impress each other more than anything. It's a part of male weakness. A fiend of mine, very moral person, raised her son to value black history and blacks very much. But when he between a teen he bonded with his father, who has the opposite view and became disrespectful to his mother just like his father and now prefers ww just like his father. And he begin acting just like his father despite the fact his mother raised him into near adulthood and beforehand he was very close to her and respectful of bw.
Also abm, don’t get it twisted; you're the one who's an advocate of homosexuality, not me. And that’s another reason there aren’t enough decent men to go around. |
Fortified
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 130
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 08:29 pm: |
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Misty has it right.
Now I am not one of those sistas who is disconnected from the rest. I know exactly what Sumjones is talking about, and I am in no way trying to trivialize her experiences. My question is: what then? What does she do?
I'll be honest here: I am an average looking black woman. I attract men almost everytime I leave my house, and this didn't happen for me before. It started happening when I stopped looking for a man, looking like I needed a man, looking for attention from a man, and stopped focusing on what men were doing, who men were attracted to.
When I decided to focus solely on putting my best foot forward (best outfit, hairstyle, best work on a project, etc.) in everything I do, that is when the men (black, white, and even Asian) started to take notice. Believe me, this took some time. But good men are drawn to women who are self-loved, not afraid to be alone and have a life of their own. Yes, men are attracted to women who take care of their looks, their bodies.
And believe it or not, black men are still attracted to black women. My two friends (who are sisters) met good brothas online and were married to them in a year. My cousins are happily married to good brothas. I met with a business client this afternoon and caught a few smiles from a chocoluscious brotha in the art department. They are out there. You just need to re-evaluate your requirements (not lower your standards!), and change your approach. It is their loss if they don't want you, NOT the other way around. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 368
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 08:29 pm: |
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"If you can't relate to this BLACK BLACK woman's post you shouldn't comment.. 'cause none of y'all know what the hellll y'all are talking about.. except Shamika and Kola Boof.. who are BLACK BLACK women. You all just can't connect. Y'ALL ARE NOT US (ANYMORE). Give us our space."
Wow! We can't relate, huh? Hmmmmmmm...Ok. "Y'all are not us and give us our space....??? Alright... Well....there ya have. Do your thing. Good luck. |
Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 8
Registered: 07-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 08:36 pm: |
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Hi all. It's a pleasure to meet you. I have read many of your posts.
Let me first say that one of the great benefits of age is that if you have learned anything you:
1. Are introspective - if you continue to make the same mistakes you are not learning. I don't like making the same mistakes, in fact, if anything I would RATHER learn from your mistakes than to make them myself.
2. You get over things fairly quickly. I do think that in the past and now and then currently I can be too soft-hearted. Thank goodness I have always been toughminded to counteract. I love the fact that something that I would have pondered for too long in the past, I can now learn lessons from and move on. And hopefully, help someone else in the process.
3. If you are a black person and have had the unfortunate benefit of dealing with white people in business setting you learn one thing and that's STRATEGY. If they change the game in the middle of the play, be alert, recognize that the "game done changed," don't complain about, be quick about formulating your new approach, and CHANGE WITH THE GAME. Winners in life are too busy winning to complain. To busy formulating the next play. And black women are the biggest group of winners that I have ever come across. I was late to see the game change but am quick to recover the ball.
It's not over 'till the BLACK lady sings....
I think it is incredible how some of the postings speak about the vibe I could be giving off or that I am a brotha hating sista or that I must be the blackest blackberry....and why are we scared of this blackberry, she is the most beautiful definition of us(listen to yourselves) but these posters do not address what this black man said, his mindset, his self-hate. TAKE NOTE.
I am person who likes to put theories to test so if the african-american man is control group a, the white man control group b, the middle eastern man control group c, the italian man (and those are NOT white people) control group d, and african man control group e. The only men who either do not approach me or prior to meeting me have made a decision that they do not date black women are control group a.
Interestingly enough, each of the other groups has no problem approaching me (or any other black woman) - anywhere, anytime. And these are quite serious-minded and successful men, I just stopped considering them when I turned 30 because I thought it "right" and my duty to marry a black man. I never considered African men because I have not actually encountered many in my region of the country. When I travel internationally or to places like Chicago, there are many more.
None of my friends or associates have ever talked about this so-called IBM. They just want men who are good citizens of their communities, productive workers, good lovers, spiritual seekers and confidants. It's fairly simple. Some of them have settled for much less....and regret it. I will learn from their mistake because they were big enough women to confide in me their failure.
I can remember when I moved into my first house and my mother and step-father were at the closing. When I got the keys and opened the door my step-father said "Congratulations, beautiful place!" And then reluctantly said "the only problem is now men will think that you don't need them." I heard this countless times from various people over the next year. And I honestly think that they meant well, that they were conveying concern. In recent years, other friends of mine have said that they have gotten the same messages from "concerned family members."
I thought to myself - why is it that as you make good choices, you are less valuable in the eyes of black men. I have heard some of these same tales told to other black women friends of mine: "Girl, you signed your death warrant with that house", "Never tell a man how much you make, he'll feel treatened and leave." Has anyone heard this one "Tell him it's your mama's house!" LOL! I always thought these were old and outdated constructs but maybe not.
I think you are missing the point here, I don't have any trouble attracting and getting any other type of man (with the exception of the AA man). I am fully willing to admit that this is not my target demographic. If I chose, and that to would be a choice, I can have a successful relationship with a man outside of my race. But that might not be my choice or the choice of many of the younger black girls coming up now. The point here is to respect the realities and choices of black women as black women. These are not easy decisions. I am not talking to the men here. This is really not your conversation.
Black women..how will will help each other through this uncharted territory. Will we listen, acknowledge and believe the various and countless herstories out there, will we share successes and failures, will we properly think through our next steps and potential consequences, will we value ourselves and each other above all else. Will we value each other beyond rhetoric and into action.
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Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 9
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 08:43 pm: |
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SJ - If you keep sitting around crying into your soup about how you can't "gitnoman" it ain't gonna happen. Write some poems and go to your local poetry slams, write a book and go to BEA and all the other bookfairs and meet all the available Black authors out here. Your tragic life story might reap some benefits after all. LOL!!!
_______________
Or start a revolution! |
Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 10
Registered: 07-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 08:52 pm: |
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Mzuri wrote: Anyone can post anything here but most people here we don't want to know about your whole life story in your very first post.
__________________________
Perhaps I felt more open to share with this group after reading your posts. I have never had time in the past to actually join the conversation but I am very happy to have had a discourse with Kola. I can't say that I will have time in the future to enjoy your presence.
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Sumjones
Newbie Poster
Username: Sumjones
Post Number: 11
Registered: 07-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 09:10 pm: |
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Kola - my sister, it was a pleasure talking with you last night. I regret that I cannot keep you close. Your darkness shines too bright in the light of day.
Keep it real. Stay crazy like a fox. Your voice may be too raw for the modern ear, where softer voices may be heard. I hear your whispers, even through the screams. Remember what I said.
Most of all, stay safe.
Summer |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 834
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 09:29 pm: |
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SJ - I inspired you to be more open. LOL. I'll take that as a compliment. Yes, your opening post was a bit too informative - the brother, his women, your parents, the friend, the Jewish princess, the Dominican, the Jamaican - all of that made it impossible to keep up, impossible to read actually, which I didn't. But I wasn't being sarcastic when I suggested you write a book. You could do it right girlfriend.
Anyway, listen to what Fortified says. Men can sense desperation. They tend to beat a path to you quicker when you seem uninterested, when you've got your shit together, and when you're occupied with other matters. They are kind of like money. When you're broke you can't get none, nowhere, and when you've got it, it don't stop comin your way. It's the law of nature. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2968
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 10:05 pm: |
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Sumjones, I got your point and I absolutely love your 8:36 post. But for me, it's not about getting a man - black or white; it's a little deeper than that.
I don't make a whole lot of money. I have a measly associate’s degree. And I live in a regular ol' African American neighborhood...a stones throw from the deep, deep ghetto. I don’t have all the material things that intimidate black men. So when I walk out of my door BROTHERS are all over me. I can't get them not to be, frankly. And so my problem is more how sistahs are valued and treated by black men. It seems like in order for black men to be men, I got to be reduced to something less than a woman.... That's the beef I have with some black men.
Abm,
"If nobody can relate to what you all are talking about, then, really, what's the point? Why don't you all run off to some uncharted island and establish some authentic (lesbian) Black woman colony of some sort? Maybe you can keep a few Blue-Black authentic African men around for studding."
(Oh god. There's that lesbian thing again????)
Authentic black comes in two genders--male and female--there are a lot of black FOLKS that agree way more with what some of the darker members of this board have been saying. I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised at how many. Just because a bunch of yellow people post here does not mean they speak for the black community, quite the contrary. In fact no doubt some of the darker voices bring a much needed balance, and represent the actual community well.
Mzuri,
please bitch.
I know you don't think you are worth it (I aint even using a question mark). |
Robynmarie
Veteran Poster
Username: Robynmarie
Post Number: 55
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 10:07 pm: |
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SJ said: "I think you are missing the point here, I don't have any trouble attracting and getting any other type of man (with the exception of the AA man). I am fully willing to admit that this is not my target demographic. If I chose, and that to would be a choice, I can have a successful relationship with a man outside of my race."
What you have posted here, sounds like you have a contempt for African American men, because of your many sterotypes and prejuidices. I learned a long time ago that no one owes me anything. Not a date, not "loyalty" nothing. Life is not fair, get over it.
I live in L.A. and as was stated before there is plenty of interracial dating. And yes, it does get on my nerves sometimes. But there is nothing I can do about it, so I get irritated then go about my business, understanding that men are like buses, if you miss one, there is another one coming. (Hope that doesn't sound too sexist)
Fortified- I too am an average looking sista, with more style and laughter than good looks or money. I take care of myself, hold my head high, smile alot and try to see life's glass as half full at all times.
I never have had trouble dating and enjoying successful, honorable black men. In fact, some of my best friends are African American men. In my time of trouble and distress, it's these guys I turn to, who listen to me complain, offer me advice and who have my back.
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Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 317
Registered: 12-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 10:08 pm: |
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FUCK BLACK MEN.
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 836
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 11:17 pm: |
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Well somebody has pissed off Mr. Schakspir. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 837
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 11:21 pm: |
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Tonya-twat - Until you can assure me that you've thoroughly scraped the shit from between your teeth, keep my name out your putrid filthy mouth. Thank you. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 428
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, July 10, 2006 - 11:57 pm: |
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"They look at me IN FRONT of their wives, which is the most disrespectful thing I have ever witnessed"
LOL White men do that all the time. Sometimes I wonder if I were White would they do still do that. A few years ago, a White woman tapped me on the shoulder to tell me how beautiful her husband thought I was. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2969
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 01:15 am: |
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FUCK BLACK MEN.
AND THE HIGH YELLOW BITCHES THAT BENEFIT FROM BLACK WOMEN'S PAIN.
(Most of whom are just as fat and ugly as trailer trash white women.) |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 161
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 02:08 am: |
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light skin black women are no less "black" than a dark skin black woman. divide and conquer is an old control tactic. sadly, some of these ignorant, hostile, and bitter black women have bought into this divide and conquer ploy. very sad and very stupid. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 162
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 02:09 am: |
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"In fact, we have already spent far too much time concerned with the plight of the black man and not concerned for our own well-being."
Sumjones, This point here is DEAD on and it's the way i've felt since a small child. I was ALWAYS able to notice the amount of unreciprocal loyalty between black men and black women at 12 and when i noticed it it hurt like hell. Luckily it didn't take me a lifetime to notice it and be able to cope with it and eventually get over it. If a 12 year old girl can pick up on something like this then there MUST be something wrong within our community. .
And no this is not all black mens fault as ABM mentioned, i will address you soon ABM and as Kola has said time and time again. black women often raise our own sons to both lean on us and hate us.
I'll never forget the first time i noticed it i was watching the jenny jones talk show (people may laugh at this but im serious)and there was this blakc man on there with his white wife both of them commenting on how evil black women supposedly are and how put out they were with black women and guess what? the majority of the audience was right with them applauding them for simply for being an interracial couple, regardless of the racist crap they were spewing. The only person i saw object was one black man that got up and called the couple "ignorrant." But you can only imagine what seeing this type of behavior from men who we are suppose to trust would do to a 12 year old girls mind. I had to have cried for about an hour after weatching the show. Perhaps my dad's behavior towards black women had alot to do with how i reacted when i watched that show as well. Although my dad is still married to my mom and they love eachother to death. The things that come out of his mouth about black women are HORRIBLE. As ive said time and time again, it's not only the black men who are married outside the race that black women have to worry aobut. alot of times it's the men within our own homes. Alot of times it's the ones who ARE attracted to black women and sleep with them every night who are some of our greatest enemies.
This is somethign i absolutely hate to admit and have only told one other person but seeing this type of behavior for so long had caused me to block out seeing black men as attractive for a long time. Before that i was a bit more attracted to black men than i was other races but after i witnessed so much hatred (not particularly geared at me but mainly geared at other black women, although i did encounter some hatred myself) i started to be less and less attracted to black men. A person's attitude often affects how attracted you are to them. I had literally FORCED myself to not be attracted to black men because i didnt want to be hurt in the same way that i had seen other black women hurt. And guess what, it actually worked for a LONG time. for a long time i just wasn't that attracted to black men anymore.
I just started to recover from those bitter feelings 3 years ago when i went to college and met some black men who were pretty positive. I always realized how irrational my feelings were but it made me so bitter. I ahve to admit i'm still recovering the negativity i saw from black men because i'm still not attracted to them in the same way i use to be although i am becoming mroe and more attracted to tehm again.
I don't WANT to feel that way, especially not when i know that rather i have kids by a black man or a non-black man my sons will still be seen and treated as black and i would hate to hurt their confidence and make them bitter the way my dad's bitterness towards black women affected me (keep in mind my dad loves me too death and would do anything for me). However no matter what ive been through i've always TRIED to keep an open mind at least and never closed my doors to black men and never said that i would never date a black man and that there were no more good black men left because that's just irrational and plus i know i wouldnt want to be grouped that way.
also, i have to say i didnt fully read your post at first...i skimmed the top of it being lazy and then i read a few of the other peoples comments.....but when i reread what you wrote in full, it honestly made me a bit moist in the eyes because i could fully relate to where you were coming from.
I say that to say this. I would still like you to consider what i posted earlier becuase rereading your post still doesnt' change the way i felt earlier it just made me understand more of where you were coming from. this is not to say that Reading the first part of your postthen reading the rest of the comments didn't me a good Gist of what was being said because it did. But when i actually sat down and read it closely i could relate to where you're coming from even more.
and dont think i was coming down on you...i'm simply asking you to reevaluate yourself and what you could possibly be doing to turn black men off.
This is not to say that you ARE doing anything to turn them off because sometimes all it takes is seeing a black woman to affect their attitude towards you. I myself can relate to what you're saying but i also get hit on alot by black men. So im not in any predicament where black men dont want me...i'm just perceptive enough to witness alot of the unreciprical loyalty and one sidedness that often goes on within our community and the hatred that alot of blakc men seem to regard us with even if they ARE more attracted to black women(
I thought that maybe it's because im light skinned that alot of black guys hit on me and maybe not. I dont know but it does run through my mind sometimes and i know for a fact that this one guy was interested in me mainly because i was light skinned because he kept obsessing over it.
anyway sumjones, i'll be back to reply in full to your post to me as well as other peoles comments to me. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 369
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 04:04 am: |
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"FUCK BLACK MEN. AND THE HIGH YELLOW BITCHES THAT BENEFIT FROM BLACK WOMEN'S PAIN."
Yeah! That's right! You go gurl..!!! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
|
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 164
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 05:00 am: |
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man, are some of the black women on this board bitter, angry, and stupid. when some of you ignorant, hostile, disgusting black women say things like "fuck black men",are you speaking about your fathers, uncles, cousins, grandfathers etc? and who are these black men who you are talking about? black men from jamaica, columbia, the bahamas, trinidad, cuba, peru, bolivia, brazil, the dominican republic, puerto rico, panama, equador, barbados etc, fuck them too?
many of you black women prove just how stupid you really are with some of your comments.
can anyone of you black women explain how "high yellow bitches" (as you so intelligently call them) benifit from "black women's pain"? what is this "pain" that "black women" are suffering from? is it "black women" (all black women) or a handful of bitter and angry women (many of the posters on this board).
p.s.- light skin black women are no less "black than a darker skin black woman. boy, are some of you jealous and angry |
Grind
Veteran Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 60
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 09:16 am: |
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"So when I walk out of my door BROTHERS are all over me. I can't get them not to be, frankly."
Tonya,
If this is the case, then why did you "co-sign" for Kola when she said that black men never look at her (only white and latino guys)? |
Grind
Veteran Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 61
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 09:29 am: |
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Misty,
If it's not too painful for you to share, what kind of things did your dad say about black women? Perhaps I've been sheltered all my life, but I've honestly never had the misfortune of meeting any black men who openly hated black women. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1233
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 10:10 am: |
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How can a mother birth a "new son" when she "hates" his gender....and color?
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2974
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 01:54 pm: |
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Grind:
If this is the case, then why did you "co-sign" for Kola when she said that black men never look at her (only white and latino guys)?
Tonya:
Grind, Kola has told us time and time again how it is where she lives. I believe her too; because back in the days when I was into hip/hop, Cali was known for being THE MOST colorstruck spot to hang out at.
Then they were tripping over light-skinned women, like everybody else, only they took the cake. Now apparently they are glued to Latina and white/non-black women. "They've moved up."
Philly isn't nearly THAT bad, yet. Don't get me wrong it's horrible--but it's no worse than any other major city, in terms of colorism. Anyway, the black guys here still have an appreciation for what some used to ignorantly refer to as "pretty for darkskinned" or "pretty" black women: a dark-skinned woman with thinner features--which I am (I've never denied it)--and yes it's still colorism. |
Fortified
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 131
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 07:09 pm: |
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FUCK BLACK MEN.
AND THE HIGH YELLOW BITCHES THAT BENEFIT FROM BLACK WOMEN'S PAIN.
(Most of whom are just as fat and ugly as trailer trash white women.)
*********************************
WOW! That's wrong, and excessive, even for you, Tonya. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2989
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 07:26 pm: |
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Tonya ain't never lied, Fortified--it's entirely true. You (prob'ly) just don't know.
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Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 175
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 07:30 pm: |
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"Misty,
If it's not too painful for you to share, what kind of things did your dad say about black women? Perhaps I've been sheltered all my life, but I've honestly never had the misfortune of meeting any black men who openly hated black women"
Grind,
He would refer to black women as "nigga women", bitches, cows.
he would also claim that black wmen have done absolutely NOTHING for the black community besides lay up with white men behind their husbands backs while black men were fighting wars for this country. He also refuses to beleive that most black slave women had no choice as to rather or not they went to bed with the slave owner and he claims they all did it because they wanted to. As he tells it "nigga women haven't done a thng but stink up the race."
He claims that very few black women had anything to do with the advancement of black people. according to him for every one black woman who did anything for blacks there were about 20 black men who went above and beyond what she did. he also claims that that's the reason why white men are trying to get rid of black men because they KNOW they can control black women's minds because black women are supposedly the weakest part of the race and are supposedly mre willing to give into white men than black men are. He believes black womena re the biggest sell-outs of the race.
LOL...now that i think aobut it, alot of the things he says about black women sound similar to what kola has said aobut black men.
also, anytime soeone is praising a black woman for what they have done for the black community in the past he feels the need to down play it. According to him rosa parks did absolutely nothing for blacks.
everytime we watch a talk show like maury povich or divorce court, it seems that he's jsut LAYING for the black woman to be the one in the wrong.....he automatically makes up his mind about the case before the woman even gets to tell her side of the story and also before the verdict is reached. its the same thing when we watch maury povich. before the paternity test results come out he's already saying stuff like "that ol bitch aint doing nothng but lieing." Also when it's clear that the man is in the wrong he is quick to say "they need to check her out too i bet that cow is doing 10 times more than what he is."
he also claims black women are the mai ones cooberating with white men to destroy blacvk men in the job market and claims that white women ahve been more fair towards black men when it comes to hiring than black women ahve been to black men.
he claims black women are golddigging and that there are only a very small handfull of good ones out there. Everytime he sees a black womann dressed in a provocative way in public he goes out of his way to call attention to them and how slutty they look. No only does he comment on it but he's very loud about it on purpose and it's very embarrassing when he does this because sometimes complete strangers turn around and look to see whats going on and they can hear everyword he's saying.
Sometimes he even goes as far as to tell my little brother somethign like "son, do you really want to marry trash like that? When it comes to black women you have very slim pickings." I'll never forget one time he got so heated that he told my brother to not marry a black woman because he will ahve to deal with bullsit the rest of his life. He said "but if you happen to find a good one stick with her but it's not likely that you'll find one." He started to suggest that my brother start to looking to women from india as mates.
i also remember one time he said "these black bitches need their throats cut."
And make no mistake, his general attitude about black women transfers into the way he treats my mom eventhough he loves her to death, he still finds it very hard to trust her eventhough she hsn't done a thing to make him treat her the way he does besides be a blakc woman.
his attitude towars women is pretty negative in general regardless of race but he seems to ahve an even deeper hatred for black women eventhough black women are the women he's most attracted to physically. Basically the only good things ive heard him say abotu black women in general are that white women can't compete with them in bed or when it comes to looks and he's also said that black women breed the strongest, smartest and most talented children and ahve the strongest genes. so it seems he sees black women in general as good breeding stock and nothing more.
i could go on and on but that’s just a taste of what I have to listen to just about everyday.
but to put the icing on the cake, when i was a child i use to thin my dad was one of the few blakc men who held these views until i met other black men who held views vey similar to his (however, i have to admit most black--woman haters aren't quite as extreem as my dad). Plus when i go online there seems to be more black men who hold views similar to my dads than the ones ive met in the real world (although ive met quite a few face to face who feel that way) but it gets even worst when i go online to all black messageboards liek black voices and BET was like that until they tore down the site. Also. blackmenwhitewomen.com is very much liek that.
I dont know rather it's just the fact that most people who go on messagebaords go on line to vent or so when you go online you meet more angry personalitties than you do in the real world or is it that more black men than i had realized had been feeling this way all along and just feel more comfortable expressing it behind a computer screen than to someones face.
I use to be able to take a slight bit of comfort comfort in the idea that my dad may be one of the few black men who felt this way but i can't even take comfort in THAT anymore. |
Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 97
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 09:52 pm: |
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Your story is so sad but true for many. I find the hatred some bm hold for black females absolutely terrifying. I still have nightmares about some that I’ve come across in my life, including a ghastly grandfather.
But I think some of what's fueling some of this hatred is their level of involvement with ww. I see a strong connection there.
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Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 168
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 10:09 pm: |
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again, just because some of you black women have had negative dealings with a handful of black men, you cannot attribute your experiences to ALL black men. some of you black women are just so angry, bitter and disgusting, that rational thought is given up in place of the axe you have to grind with a HANDFUL of black men YOU have dealt with. after listening to some of these black women speak, i see clearly why some black men go to women of other nations. some of you black women have such nasty, dirty, spiteful additudes. i can't blame any black man for looking to women of other nations. some black women are just so nasty and bitter, life is just too short to deal with them and their bitterness. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5034
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 10:19 pm: |
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Thank GOD I did NOT marry a Black woman who thinks like most of you chicks.
You all remind me of just how truly BLESSED I am.
Thanks! |
Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 98
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 10:40 pm: |
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Oh you mean like the hateful bitterness you just spewed out about bw for having an opinion you disagree with? Just like the hateful shyte you came here and posted about bw’s offspring and inferiority to bm, and all the racist azz wp you now side against bw with as if wp are saints. Well you can stick your head up your azz all you want to, but ww, Asians, Hispanics and other non blacks, female or not are the root of racism – especially against blacks, they are the ones that keep it alive. So that daymn sure isn't your true motive for being with them. LIAR! And I’ve heard plenty of the racist crap they say about bm. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2993
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 10:40 pm: |
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The hatred is present long before they meet their first light/white woman. It goes back to their childhood. Much of it stems from the way they were treated by other black children, particularly black and brown black girls.
((((Let's not forget that the majority of black neighborhoods are segregated by COLOR; therefore most dark-skinned boys are mainly exposed to black and brown females.))))
Include the self-hatred that dark-skinned females pass on to their dark children. Then couple that with what these boys (who are usually fatherless) learn from the black men in their community and in the media. When it’s all said and done, you've got a recipe for disaster. And the child is barely ten. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2994
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 10:46 pm: |
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Abm, why are you making it seem like these girls are saying something wrong? They are telling the truth. What's so wrong with that? You're starting to sound like Lil_ze.
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Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 99
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:16 pm: |
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Growing up the bw I was around always treated bm like kings whether they were grown or little boys. And it didn’t matter whether a bm had a job or was just living off of them and using them, it seems he could do no wrong. They (especially the light-skin women) were often harsh and critical of girls and practically treated them like slaves, but darker women seemed nicer and more even tempered toward all their children at least. But you’re right; some of them were self conscious about their looks because they wanted so much to please these color-struck bm. I’m not sure I’d always call that self hatred as much as a desire to receive unrequited love. But the most awful bw were the borderline looking biracials. They absolutely hated black females and rated everyone black especially other females based upon whether they were as white looking as they are. Any black person raised by one of them or a white person is bound to be f’d up. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2999
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:19 pm: |
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"But the most awful bw were the borderline looking biracials. They absolutely hated black females and rated everyone black especially other females based upon whether they were as white looking as they are."
I've seen alot of that too. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 170
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:27 pm: |
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tonya, the majority of black neighborhoods are segregated by color? are you kidding me? where the hell is the evidence of this? every black neighborhood ive been in has our people of every shade. how many of us have families that have some light skin people, some dark skin people, and every color in between.
i challenge you tonya to produce one piece of evidence that would support you saying something as stupid as black communites are segregated by color. its just NOT true. just because you are bitter, doesn't mean you can make ridiculous statements, and expect people to believe them.
again do you have any facts to prove what you say? or are you just another "angry black woman? |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 380
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:29 pm: |
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".....why are you making it seem like these girls are saying something wrong? They are telling the truth. What's so wrong with that?
Hey, listen...I agree with them. Just like Kola said; FUCK BLACK MEN! They’re dangerous, violent, untrustworthy, ignorant, genetically inferior, stupid, sex crazed, lazy, immoral, narcissistic, suffer from a form of severe psychosis of victimization paranoia, criminal across the board, vulgar, have taken the word disrespect to another level, brainwashed beyond any hope of redemption or rehabilitation, self indulgent and cannot be trusted under any circumstances whatsoever! NO EXCPETIONS!
So yes, I agree with this orgy of writing catharsis and heart felt emotional testimony to a life of abuse and wanton degradation by the most loathsome and despicable entity on the planet –THE BLACK MAN! I openly applaud you brave survivors and victims of rape and violence, both physically and psychologically. You have every right to honesty discuss your experiences and suffering at the hands of these black animals! Personally, I don't have a problem with them being physically rounded up for forced labor (that would be the only way to get them to work) and possible extermination. Is that such a bad idea? I think not. This may sound somewhat harsh, but isn't it at least worthy of consideration?
RIGHT ON MY BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMEN! THE FUTURE OF THE BLACK RACE LIES WITH YOU –NOT THE TREACHERROUS SAVAGE CRIMINALLY PYSHCOTIC BLACK MALE! E’nuff said…..
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5035
Registered: 04-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:30 pm: |
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Shemika,
Either you have lived in an especially shyty situation, amongst some especially shyty people.
Or you yourself are full of shyt.
Which is it?
Ladies,
Your incessant whining won't do a dayam bit of good. At least not regarding Black men.
So why don't you cut the shyt, go find you some non-Black men or other women to love and then just bethefuhk HAPPY, already.
Really...You'd do both yourselves and A LOT a Black men (those who do and don't prefer White women) a bigga$$ favor. |
Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 318
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:32 pm: |
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"Oh you mean like the hateful bitterness you just spewed out about bw for having an opinion you disagree with? Just like the hateful shyte you came here and posted about bw�s offspring and inferiority to bm, and all the racist azz wp you now side against bw with as if wp are saints. Well you can stick your head up your azz all you want to, but ww, Asians, Hispanics and other non blacks, female or not are the root of racism � especially against blacks, they are the ones that keep it alive. So that daymn sure isn't your true motive for being with them. LIAR! And I�ve heard plenty of the racist crap they say about bm."
Shemika never has anything intelligent to say, it's always knee-jerk babbling about how black men suck. The poor girl is incapable of any kind of rational thought. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 843
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:40 pm: |
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And neither does Tonya. Black neighborhoods are separated by skin tone? That's the absolute absurdist thing that I've heard in a while. So if a dark complected Black family (that lives in this hypothetical segregated Black neighborhood) bears a light-skinned child, they send it off to go live elsewhere???
Tonya, please, leave the fucking lysergic acid diethylamide the fuck alone and try to get a grasp on reality. Yo shit don't make no sense lately. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 172
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:42 pm: |
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sadly, this is how many black women are. "black men suck, black men are evil, black men did me wrong, black men don't value me". its just the irrational rantings of a handful of angry bitter black females.
rational thought doesn't exist among them. they are just looking for other bitter black women to support their nonsense. how sad they are. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 173
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:44 pm: |
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mzuri,im glad you are on this board. thank you.
as if dark skin parents don't have light children and vice-versa. how stupid some people are. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 844
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:47 pm: |
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Lil Ze - But isn't it all that negativity that drives Black men away? Damn, these trollops are starting to embarrass me with all this bullshit. Ladies, the next time you meet a Black man, try smiling and being pleasant and acting nice. And quit bringing all that garbage ass baggage with you, please. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 845
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:49 pm: |
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Well - Lil Ze, I won't be able to hang much longer. These bitches is giving me a headache. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 433
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:51 pm: |
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You DO see more darker complected Blk people in the ghetto. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5037
Registered: 04-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 11:51 pm: |
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No reasoned man wants an angry, hostile and whinya$$ woman. I don't give a dayam how brilliant, pretty, fione and resourceful she may be.
He may try to stick it with or to her for a minute. But his basic desire for PEACE is eventually going to get the better of him and he's going to drop her a$$ like a hot potato. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 435
Registered: 03-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:01 am: |
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Men are just as disposable. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5038
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:07 am: |
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BB123,
Good. Then at least on ONE thing we agree.
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Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 175
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:08 am: |
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mzuri, you are totally correct. it is much of the negative and nasty additude that many (not all, and not you of course) black women display. many black women are just so hostile that many black men just throw up their hands and say, "i can't take it anymore". some black women act as if they would drop dead if they were to act nice (feminine). some of them feel its their duty to be nasty and hostile toward black men. what man (or woman) is going to put up with such nastiness?
mzuri. your words are so on the ball. i agree, maybe some of these women might try to smile and be pleasant the next time they are dealing with a black man. most men (and women) just want to be happy. if many black women have this negative nasty additude, can you blame a black man who finds a white woman (or any woman) who is willing to treat him well, and he goes with that woman? these women are bringing their baggage and bitterness into any dealings they have with black men. who wouldn't get sick of such non-sense. many black men don't want the headache that comes from dealing with many (not all) black women.
i see ALL shades of black people in the ghetto. and ive seen ALL shades of black people in more affluent areas. please someone give me proof of this alleged segregation in black areas based on skin shade. its just such nonsense it almost doesn't merit a response. |
Fortified
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 134
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:23 am: |
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Lil_ze said:
maybe some of these women might try to smile and be pleasant the next time they are dealing with a black man. most men (and women) just want to be happy. if many black women have this negative nasty additude, can you blame a black man who finds a white woman (or any woman) who is willing to treat him well, and he goes with that woman? these women are bringing their baggage and bitterness into any dealings they have with black men. who wouldn't get sick of such non-sense. many black men don't want the headache that comes from dealing with many (not all) black women.
************************
You have a point. But if so many of these women are "negative", and "nasty", what is causing this nastiness and bitterness? What is the cause behind the "attitude"?
The average white woman is going to seem more pleasant because she has more reason to be "pleasant". She is the most prized, desired woman on earth. She is the beauty standard. No matter how she looks or acts, she could still pull a half-decent man (if not white, black, asian or latino), because men are either drawn to her, the individual, or her, the concept of a white woman. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 846
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:26 am: |
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On second thought, Tonya's ghetto might just be segregated after all. I mean - the bitch has already segregated this forum. She has put the brown paper bag test into full effect right here. She has declared that unless you're blue-Black or black-Black or authentic you're not welcome to post about certain topics, you can't form an opinion unless you are a certain shade of Black. So since she's put her little trip-ass policy into effect here in cyberspace - where we are all equals - who's to say she ain't out on the street corner of her Black ghetto neighborhood - shoutin ppl down and tellin them where they can and can not reside. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 847
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:29 am: |
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Fortified - The bitches are nasty and bitter because they haven't had no dick. Helloooow. It's kind of like which came first the chicken or the egg. They act crabby because they ain't had no dick, and they can't get no dick because they act crabby. Ladies, if you can't get a man, get yourselves a vibrator and use it every now and then. Black men can sense when you haven't had an orgasm in a while. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 176
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:35 am: |
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"Ladies, the next time you meet a Black man, try smiling and being pleasant and acting nice. And quit bringing all that garbage ass baggage with you, please."
actually, this IS what i do. I also nod or say hi when they're coming towards my path most of the time when i see a black man or any blakc person for that matter. unfortunately i have to guess rather or not some of them will speak back because some of them don't. As i've said i treat people liek they treat me....most black men don't see me in partular as having a bad attitude mainly because im a good socializer and not one of those "mean black women who catches attitude with you even if you haven't done a thing to her."
I have absolutely NO problems socializing with black men. i take people one at a time and was only speaking from my experiences. Also, in none of my posts did i say that all black men hated black women. All i'm saying is that there are still TOO MANY who have a low opinion of black women. I dont pretend to know rather most blakc men hate black women or not but from my experiences a heck of alot of them actually DO have a very low opinion of black women. But if half the people who are complaining aobut my post actually READit without bias i did say that i haven't found ethiopian black men to be negative at all. So no, i'm not claimg all black men are this way and this complaining aobut how "evil" black women are that i hear from black men seems to come mainly from black american men. As misogynistic and womanizing as i've found alot of african men to be they still don't seem to bitch andf moan aobut black women the way ive seen alot of black american men do, even if they DO prefer white women and other races. So as i established earlier (or at least i THOUGHT i established it pretty well), not all black men have these kinds of issues with black women.
As i said in my first post on this thread i have met some black american men such as ABM and serenasailor and the blackmen i met in college who are positive and dont' seem to have any of the hangups i've mentioned but too MANY blakc men that i know of DO have these hangups. Just because not ALL black women have experienced what i have doesn't make me crazy and whiney as ABM labeled it.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 436
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:36 am: |
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I've seen all shades, too. But I see MORE darker complected Blacks in lower class neighborhoods.
Not sure how true black areas being segregated based on skin tone is today--but Lil ze, you act like Blacks never segregated themselves from each other before...does "Creole" ring a bell remember how they established their own communities separate from darker skinned Blacks?
"So if a dark complected Black family (that lives in this hypothetical segregated Black neighborhood) bears a light-skinned child, they send it off to go live elsewhere???"
LOL No. They're talking about colorstruck individuals who CHOOSE to live among other colorstruck fair complected African Americans in small neighborhood communities. I'm not sure if a neighborhood like this exists but if it in fact does, this is probably how it would work. The rest of Black folks who don't have this mindset will continue to have light dark brown or whatever color children and live amongst each other. |
Robynmarie
Veteran Poster
Username: Robynmarie
Post Number: 57
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:40 am: |
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Many of us have been cheated on, dissed, ignored, lied to, etc by men (and others.)Is spewing hate and nastiness toward black men a way of getting even? Does it make you feel powerful and in control and righteous? Is forgiving and forgetting anywhere on your radar?
I know lots of bw who feel completely justified in hating bm. They are the same sistas who are in the pews every Sunday, praising the Lord and lusting after Pastor.
Stop and claim your greatness ladies and let go of past hurts. The blood pressure you lower may be your own.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 437
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:44 am: |
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Mzuri,
Sex doesn't solve everything for a woman. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 438
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:47 am: |
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How come women are always told to get some "dick" when they're upset about something? That doesn't help. Sex is so easy to come by that's the last thing on a woman's mind half the time to help solve her problems. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 177
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:48 am: |
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good point brownbeauty..LOL |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 850
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:52 am: |
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Because in the end, it's all about the sex baby. That is the ultimate goal of getting a man, right. Anyway, I was responding to the question why do some of our sisters have such nasty and evil dispositions. And the reality is - although you may not want to hear it - is that they haven't been laid in a while. That's a fact. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 178
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:54 am: |
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Lil_ze said :
"after listening to some of these black women speak, i see clearly why some black men go to women of other nations. some of you black women have such nasty, dirty, spiteful additudes. i can't blame any black man for looking to women of other nations. some black women are just so nasty and bitter, life is just too short to deal with them and their bitterness."
umm, isn't this contradicting what you are standing so strong agaisnt the black women on this board about? You keep saying a handful of us black women are bitter yet you claim that you don't blame black men for running to white women after seeing this type of hatred from some black women. YET you're denigrating the black women who do the SAME EXACT thing because they've had a "few" (as you say it) bad experiences with black men.
you don't see the hypocracy in what you jsut said? |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 177
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:55 am: |
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no matter what happened with these so-called creoles. the fact is there is NO proof that today, black communities are segregated on the basis of skin tone. its just a fantasy. if this is going on where is the proof? show me some community where "fair-complected" (whatever that means) individuals have settled into areas with other "fair-skinned" people.
brownbeauty, of course you are not sure if a neighborhood like this exists, because it does not. trying to use "creoles" as some kind of evidence to prove this point, just won't work. creoles were and are limited to a small area of this country. the numbers of creoles were never signifigant enough to impact the greater black american culture. there are blacks of all shades,in all neighborhoods, and in all black families. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 179
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:58 am: |
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Lil_ze, it's as if you're saying black men can't turn black women bitter and hateful agaisnt them BUT in the same breath yuo're claiming black women CAN turn black men bitter and hateful against us.
It seems like either way you go, the fault lies with the woman. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 178
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:58 am: |
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misty, i don't see your point. i have not contridicted myself. i don't get your point. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 181
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:02 am: |
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i reexplained it in the post right above yours but we posted it at the same time.
all im' saying is that it looks as if you're excusing blakc men who become bitter towards black women and saying they have a reason to but at the same time you're claiming the black women who become bitter towards men have no one to blame but themselves. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3001
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:02 am: |
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Mzuri:
"On second thought, Tonya's ghetto might just be segregated after all."
Tonya:
That is right sweetie. I'M GHETTO. NOT CRACKWHORE GUTTERBALL.
I am totally incapable of taking things to your level.
You really are on your own--and quite an embarrassment might I add.
Lil_ze,
These SHOULD give you an idea of how segregated we are. You have to enlarge/decrease them in order to see clearly:
http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0037-7732%28199006%2968%3A4%3C1105%3ATSOCRA%3E2 .0.CO%3B2-I&size=SMALL
http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0190-2725%28200203%2965%3A1%3C77%3ASCATPO%3E2.0 .CO%3B2-8&size=LARGE |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 179
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:08 am: |
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im not saying black men can't make black women bitter, but i am saying that it seems that many more black women have hostility toward black men than black men do toward black women. im saying what is the justification for the bitterness on the part of black women toward black men?
i think black men are reacting to "unjustified hostility" on the part of black women. many black women are just angry, i personally don't see the reason for it (although i know whats behind it). i don't see half the bitterness on the part of black men than i see coming from black women. i see many black men trying to be nice to black women, only to get additude from a bitter black woman. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 851
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:08 am: |
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Whatever Tonya. I'm not the one making them whack ass claims about how the ghetto is segregated according to skin tone, and trying to tell people that they can't post unless they're blackity-Black. And I already said you trollops was embarrassing. Still can't come up with an original thought can you Tonya-twat? Stupid gorilla-face-bat-pussy-breath motherfucker. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 183
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:09 am: |
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"Lil Ze - But isn't it all that negativity that drives Black men away?"
my last comment to Lil_ze goes for you too mzuri because both of you seem to be contradicting yourselve sin this thread.
If WE are the reason black men become bitter towards black women and are running to other races how come black men aren't the reason many black women are so bitter and starting to say they refuse to date black men more and more.
keep in mind i'm not jsutifying either one but as usual, a woman's behavior gets called into question while the men who do the same thing are justified. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 180
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:24 am: |
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oh yeah, the links posted by tonya proves zero. anyone can write a book attempting to prove anything. that is not proof. the links posted is an authors opinion. nothing more. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 187
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:28 am: |
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"im not saying black men can't make black women bitter, but i am saying that it seems that many more black women have hostility toward black men than black men do toward black women. im saying what is the justification for the bitterness on the part of black women toward black men?"
it would be easier for you to see it that way and dismiss black women's "rantings" as simple bitterness imply because you yourself aren't a black woman and can't identify. Because with me coming from "the other side of the tracks" i know what i've experienced and from what i've seen and experienced it's quite the opposite from what you say it is.
Let alot of people tell it black women are never justified in anything they do and have no valid gripes. We simply wine for no reason REGARDLESS of what we've actually experienced over and over again mind you. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 853
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:37 am: |
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Misty - I don't know how I'm contradicting myself. My opinions about life in general are pretty well-established. If you're so inclined, please point out my inconsistencies.
I can only speak for myself, and therefore I can't comprehend how someone can take their own personal negative experience and apply it to the entire Black population in general. Because one Black woman can't get a Black man, that doesn't mean that all Black men have abandoned Black women. That's the problem I have with some of y'alls posts. One of our posters claims she knows the goings-on of the entire state of California. Get real!
I also don't understand "bitterness." WTF is that? Is that having a bad taste in your mouth or what.
Lil Ze - Don't bother trying to tell that woman anything about her links. She just pulled some shit out of her ass trying to make a point. She hasn't made any sense since I don't know when. The ghetto is segregated. Pure trash. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 189
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:39 am: |
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Your incessant whining won't do a dayam bit of good. At least not regarding Black men. "
actually, i don't think the "wining" is being done for the benefit of black men but simply as a way for black women to tell their stories to other UNDERSTANDING black women who have experienced similar things and won't try to silence them simply because they've experienced somethign different or because they want to gain brownie points with black men. It's not good to keep anger and pain bottled up inside. anytime something painful and heavy is dewelling inside you you have to let it out. |
Misty
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Misty
Post Number: 190
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:46 am: |
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"Misty - I don't know how I'm contradicting myself. My opinions about life in general are pretty well-established. If you're so inclined, please point out my inconsistencies."
you basically claimed that black women were runnign black men into the arms of white women because of our "bitterness" yet when black women become alienated from black men because of the bitterness they've experienced from them you claim it's simply their fault and black men had nothing to do wiht it.
"can only speak for myself, and therefore I can't comprehend how someone can take their own personal negative experience and apply it to the entire Black population in general. Because one Black woman can't get a Black man, that doesn't mean that all Black men have abandoned Black women. That's the problem I have with some of y'alls posts. "
well, i can't relate because if you truely understood my posts you would see that i completely agree with this. I simply notice my surrounding but it doesn't mean i become blinded by them and allow them to form my opinion about the entire population.
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Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 854
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:47 am: |
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actually, i don't think the "wining" is being done for the benefit of black men but simply as a way for black women to tell their stories to other UNDERSTANDING black women who have experienced similar things and won't try to silence them simply because they've experienced somethign different or because they want to gain brownie points with black men. It's not good to keep anger and pain bottled up inside. anytime something painful and heavy is dewelling inside you you have to let it out.
But don't you see? By sitting around commiserating you're not accomplishing anything. If you're broke, and you associate with other broke people, and all you do is cry and complain to each other about how broke you all are and how you can't get no money, you'll never get any money and you'll always be broke.
You've got to get up off of your ass and get out there and make it happen. And you've got to attract it. The same way that you attract money that's how you've got to attract a man. And you won't attract any man with such a low self-esteem and negative vibes. They can feel that! And it repels them. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 855
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:55 am: |
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you basically claimed that black women were runnign black men into the arms of white women because of our "bitterness" yet when black women become alienated from black men because of the bitterness they've experienced from them you claim it's simply their fault and black men had nothing to do wiht it.
Okay. But where exactly did I state this. I never said that anyone drove Black men away and into the arms of white women. This is what I said:
Misty - I said stop being so choicy. Didn't say lower your standards. You're reading into my comments more than what is there. We've discussed here about women not wanting a man who's ahalfainchshorter than her "DREAM" man, too light, too dark, 10 lbs to heavy, has a tatoo, got a bald spot on the back of his head, talks too fast, dick too big, things like that. We are the very first ones to find something wrong with our Black man, and then we bitch and complain and whine and moan when he runs off to be with a whitegirl - who worships the water upon which he walks. But thanks for reading my post.
And that was in response to you interpreting my comment about being too choicy to me suggesting that Black women should lower their standards. What's contradictory about that? |
Shemika
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 100
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 02:36 am: |
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Ya'll need to stop acting all sanctimonious. None of you have room to judge with all the negative hateful shyt you talk. You need to go look in the mirror because the only thing your selective observation proves is what a bunch of self-centered, insensitive hypocrites, and racist sexists you are toward darker toned bw. Were it some white wenches complaining (as they so love to do) you’d be kissing their butts like Montel Williams. Yet you have no such tolerance for bw. Who wants the approval of bm whose mentality reeks of Caucasoid azz drool anyway. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3004
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 02:47 am: |
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Abm:
Ladies,
Your incessant whining won't do a dayam bit of good.
At least not regarding Black men.
Tonya:
But see that's it. It's not about what's good for black men anymore. It's finally about what's good for BW, due to circumstances. So Sorry--you all don't have a say and we all know why. And since that's the way it's going to be for the foreseeable future, get used to it or maybe Y'ALL should jump off a cliff.
Abm:
So why don't you cut the shyt, go find you some non-Black men or other women to love and then just bethefuhk HAPPY, already.
Really...You'd do both yourselves and A LOT a Black men (those who do and don't prefer White women) a bigga$$ favor.
Tonya:
There you go again. Tsk-tsk.
Black men are not in the position to expect bigga$$ favors..
or any thing else for that matter.  |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 856
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 02:50 am: |
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Tonya-twat - Why did you wait until ABM was asleep before you came up in here with your weak ass bullshit responses. If anyone around here ought to jump off a cliff - that would be you. You're one spineless-dickless-weak-ass-lily-livered-chicken-shit bitch. Fo sho. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3005
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 03:22 am: |
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Lil_ze:
oh yeah, the links posted by tonya proves zero. anyone can write a book attempting to prove anything. that is not proof. the links posted is an authors opinion. nothing more.
Tonya:
OMG. I knew it was a waste of time responding to you.
Those were not an author’s opinion.
They were studies done by a University/Institute.
(You still don't understand of course.) |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 182
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 03:29 am: |
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no, i don't think you understand. studies are subjective, not objective. oh, i see, because some university did a "study" on a subject and wrote a book about it, it MUST be true.
what a simple black woman you are. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3006
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 03:57 am: |
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Lil_ze:
no, i don't think you understand. studies are subjective, not objective. oh, i see, because some university did a "study" on a subject and wrote a book about it, it MUST be true. what a simple black woman you are.
Tonya:
It's a textbook you dickhead. That "book" you are referring to is a textbook:
Social Forces is a journal of social research highlighting sociological inquiry but also exploring realms shared with social psychology, anthropology, political science, history, and economics. The journal's intended academic readers include sociologists, social psychologists, criminologists, economists, political scientists, anthropologists, and students of urban studies, race/ethnic relations, and religious studies. |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5042
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 08:22 am: |
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Mzuri,
I can appreciate the potential cathartic benefit of all the Black female whinying. But there comes a point when all the whinying becomes a very corrosive end until itself.
Eventually all the whinying blinds sistas to how THEY have contributed to the very condition they're enduring. And it drives away many men who might actually be much BETTER than that which they complain about. Moreover, it incites resentment amongst many of the men, resulting in an intractable cycle of bitterness.
But perhap worse than all of those, most of these myopically whinya$$ Black women will birth and RAISE Black children... |
Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 1107
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 08:49 am: |
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Tonya, all: Those are actually very interesting research articles. If you have access to these journals through your college/university or public library, it is worth reading the whole thing. (Not that it matters, but neither Hughes and Hertel, the co-authors of the first article, are African American--Just FYI.)
Also, the research project from which the data come has been one of the major sources of social survey information on Black Americans for a long time. It's likely that some of you or folks you know may have even participated in the survey as participants! (http://webapp.icpsr.umich.edu/cocoon/ICPSR-SERIES/00164.xml) If you go to Google Scholar and search for "National Survey of Black Americans" you can locate other scholarly work using data from the multiple waves of this survey.
I'm not saying this makes the results "true" or more "objective" than something else--But just adding to Tonya's description of this not being from a novel or something. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 185
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:45 pm: |
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hey, tonya you stupid black whore (see i can name call also), just because its a textbook still does not make it true. during nazi rule in germany there were many textbooks, studies, and research regarding the superiority os so-called "aryans". was all of this research correct? were all of the nazi studies true? were all nazi textbooks (that were written by professors and the like) true and accurate? because something is in a textbook, or there is a "study", it does not mean its true or factual.
tonya, you are such a simple minded black wench. very nasty and disgustiing is your additude. |
Lil_ze
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 186
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 01:47 pm: |
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oh yeah, im still waiting for the proof that black nieghborhoods are segregated on the basis of skin tone. anyone have any facts to back up this irrational statement? |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 3009
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 02:58 pm: |
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Thanks Yvette. I've been trying to retrieve these journals and other articles for the longest without having to make a trip to the library. But, as you probably know, that's next to impossible...unless you’re a student or publisher. So...to the library I go-- (lazy ol’ me, lol)--because they do seem worthwhile, thanks. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 390
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 02:12 am: |
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"Tonya-twat - Why did you wait until ABM was asleep before you came up in here with your weak ass bullshit responses. If anyone around here ought to jump off a cliff - that would be you. You're one spineless-dickless-weak-ass-lily-livered-chicken-shit bitch. Fo sho."
And there ya have it! Anyone care to dispute or debate the aforementioned assessment...??? |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 391
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 02:48 am: |
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ABM wrote: "Eventually all the whinying blinds sistas to how THEY have contributed to the very condition they're enduring. And it drives away many men who might actually be much BETTER than that which they complain about. Moreover, it incites resentment amongst many of the men, resulting in an intractable cycle of bitterness. But perhap worse than all of those, most of these myopically whinya$$ Black women will birth and RAISE Black children..."
Thank your sir! Your comment is very true. It is very tragic that these BW are so bitter and angry, the only way they believe they can strike back at black men, is through a blinding blitzkerg of vociferous name calling and profane vitriolic rants. Their pain, disappointment and frustration is duly noted and understandable. I am the first to recognize this. Black women have a right to be angry with a number of black men. No one is suggesting black women have no right to vent their anger and hurt at black men. But when the anger and bitterness turns into an ongoing convoluted diatribe of vicious name calling and mindless screeching, an otherwise valid position becomes lost and obscured in vortex of white noise.
In order to present a compelling and overwhelming intelligent argument, you do not have to succumb to juvenile vindictiveness and repetitive mean spirited regurgitations. As I said, no one is attempting to deny nor dispute the validity of black women's frustration and disappointment with black men. But as I have stated, the argument loses its moral ground when it is drowned in a swamp of shrill and un-necessary finger pointing and silly name calling.
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Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 5069
Registered: 04-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 08:25 am: |
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Ntfs,
Indeed.
And then when you add to the mix the blatant hypocrisy of it being okay for Black women to consider dating/mating non-Blacks while concurrently vilifying Black men who do likewise; what they have created is a complete/utter DISASTER. |
Ntfs_encryption
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Ntfs_encryption
Post Number: 398
Registered: 10-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 14, 2006 - 11:40 am: |
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"And then when you add to the mix the blatant hypocrisy of it being okay for Black women to consider dating/mating non-Blacks while concurrently vilifying Black men who do likewise; what they have created is a complete/utter DISASTER."
Again...THANK YOU SIR! |
Black_wisdom_
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Black_wisdom_
Post Number: 142
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, August 11, 2006 - 01:32 pm: |
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This is one of the best things I've read in here. I stopped commenting some time ago, yet lurk occasionally. This post was so excellent that I felt compelled to write.
I think that several commenters who participated in this thread might have missed the point. The thread's author sounds intelligent, resourceful, creative, and positive. She will most certainly find a life-mate. However, she is one of a dying, near-extinct breed of black person: one who though garnering success, yet rejects wholescale individualism and carries her community's concerns as her own. So the several comments offering personal "how to find a man" advice are quite irrelevant as it seems this sister is using her beautiful spirit and communicative gift to give voice to what is nothing short of a crisis.
I have not seen one male commenter address what is the central and essential gist of this post: why have black men abandoned black women in such numbers and what can be done about it? Why are black women the least likely of all women in society to get married? And why are some black men willing to accept frankly inferior white women, even make fools of themselves to do so, when there is such an enormous pool of eligible black women to choose from?
These are macro issues. Personal anecdotes cannot serve as adequate responses. "Pray," "be nice," "strike up more conversations," are shallow tidbits of advice more suited to gossip magazines, not a serious discussion of these issues.
Excellent, excellent post. |
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