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Afroerotik
Newbie Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 18
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 02:32 pm: | 
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I love spending time with my older relatives. They have such rich stories to tell, they share so much history and give me perspective. I’m always amazed at what they had to endure and how closely their stories resemble tales of slavery. They are stories white people don’t hear, so it becomes easy for them to think that slavery was over and it has no effect on today. They are stories that the youth of today don’t want to hear so they live in oblivion about where we come from and just how bad things were for us not so long ago. It’s an ignorance that leads people to believe that we are totally emancipated from dysfunction when the truth is, we are passing on detrimental beliefs directly from slavery and thinking it’s normal.
I had the opportunity to spend time with a relative the other night. She’s 68 years old and she brought pictures to show me. It’s a conversation I don’t think I’ll forget for a very long time. She told tales of being degraded by white people that had my skin crawling. What was everyday life for her was like something I’ve never seen in any movie. She’s an exceptionally light skinned woman, wearing her cotton jogging suit and wig, like millions of other black women her age. She related tales of a cheating husband and how she had to cope with that in order to keep a roof over her head for her children. I looked at old black and white pictures from the forties and fifties of dark skinned men with light skinned black women.
I have a huge family. Any family reunion you go to, you’ll see that the majority of the male relatives under the age of 55 are married to or have baby mommas that are white women. I sat the other night, looking at picture upon picture of cousins with white women and my older relative justifying it by saying how good their children’s hair was.
I saw a baby picture of a child who had the thickest hair I’ve ever seen on a newborn child in my life. While I was in awe of this beautiful baby, my older cousin started lamenting over how bad and nappy the hair of this child was and how her mother couldn’t wait to perm their hair now that she was older. My uncle, who only dates black women who are light, bright, and damn near white with long flowing hair, defended this family elder’s assertions by reinforcing that if the girl child did in fact have a “bad grade” of unmanageable hair, that they should look to getting it permed and braided as soon as possible. They laughed and talked about nappy hair while I sat in silence, thinking about the self esteem of that poor girl child, having to hear scores of female relatives and beauticians tell her that her natural hair, the hair god intended her to have, her beautiful African hair was bad, wrong, and ugly.
My heart ached for that girl child’s self-esteem. How can she ever feel inherently beautiful if she feels that her natural hair is a mistake? I sat there all night and I could say nothing. I understood that this family elder had no idea that her beliefs were formed from the idea that black people were inferior. The need for black men 50 years ago to have light skinned women was because they believed black was ugly. Generations of black women were told that our hair was ugly and it had to be controlled and changed to look like white women’s in order to be beautiful.
My uncle claims that the fact that he’s only attracted to black women that can pass for white has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that that’s his personal preference. It’s his personal preference and the preference of a generation of black men who can’t understand that hearing tales of unmanageable black hair and ugly dark skin forms your preferences. I have cousins who have never dated a black woman in their lives. Their mother’s complain to the black women in the family but praise their son’s choices and compliment them for having children with “good hair.”
I know this trend isn’t exclusive to my family. I’ve seen family gathering photos of other people’s families and they justify the fact that not ONE, not one single black man married a black woman as merely coincidence. We aren’t evolving; we are staying stagnant and justifying it. We are still thinking that our natural hair is bad and wrong; we are still perpetuating the belief that light is right. We will perish as a race holding onto these diseased beliefs and hating what makes us black and beautiful.
Our dark skin isn’t ugly, it’s gorgeous. Our nappy hair isn’t bad, it’s exactly the way the Creator wanted it to be. Our thick lips and noses aren’t unattractive except if you believe that white people are better. I’m weary from seeing how disabled we are as a people and how intent we are to pass on that self-hatred to our children and exalt that dysfunction as normal.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 126
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 02:55 pm: |
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Afroerotik,
Do these very light complected women with straight hair hate darker skinned women? Especially attractive ones??
All of my experiences with these type of women have been somewhat negative. I work in customer service, and so many times I've had these women act so uppity and snobby towards me--one girl had literally threw her money at me on the counter, with her dimes and nickels rolling all over the place--being in the economic position I am in, I cannot afford to lose my job, so I picked the money up and ignored it . But I wanted to slap that bitch.
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Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 13
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 03:02 pm: |
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I find dark skinned men oh so sexy....nothing like them. *whew* But being dark skinned myself, they look straight past me and into the light!!!
Yes, I have a love/hate relationship with dark men. But light men? Light skinned men LOOOOVE them some dark women. But I'm not very attracted to them. |
Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 14
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 03:12 pm: |
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Back to AfroE:
My son is dark. AND HANDSOME!!!!!
Though he never got seriously teased by his peers when he was very young, girls never looked his way because they said he was too dark. Cute, but too dark.
They were into the boys that looked like Bow-Wow. Yes, I'm serious.
It was my sole mission & purpose to get into his head that he should be proud. "You're a child of the sun, baby, be proud of the skin you're in", I'd tell him. "Those ignorant girls might ignore you now, but wait until you're in high school, they'll be all over you. 'Cause black women LOVE fine, dark skinned men" was my daily speech.
He's a sophomore in high school now. And they ARE all over him. Unfortunately, he's a tad bitter and he's "over" them.
'Nother story. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 127
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 03:34 pm: |
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Your son don't like Black women? |
Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 15
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 03:49 pm: |
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He's in a multi-racial school system. He's always had friends of varied races. Since the incidents, he started "liking" more multi-ethnic and white female friends.
He's not exclusive, but he has strong opinions about black girls...already.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 128
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 03:53 pm: |
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What does he think of Black women?
And are you trying to change his opinions about that? Because it does start with you.
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Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 18
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 04:33 pm: |
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He doesn't think NEGATIVELY about black girls, he just calls it what it is WHEN IT PRESENTS ITSELF. And it bothers me to no end to know & see how these girls can act.
You're right, it does start with me. But know that how I carry myself, maintain our home & career is not what he's seeing in the street and at school. And that's the problem I'm having. What I say & do is being trumped by girls like Dee Dee, her cousins and their friends that live across the street.
So, in essence, he realizes it's not the black women, it's the black GIRLS that he's been running across. He loves knowing and meeting black girls that carry themselves like princesses.
And there are princess-like girls in his life...and he complains that they already have a boyfriend (that's another story) or they call themselves his sisters.
We live in a mixed class neighborhood in a mixed class part of town. What he, I, my friends, and many other people are seeing is: many, many, many young black girls aren't carrying themselves & acting decently.
The ones I'M referring to and know are loud, boisterous, disrespectful to themselves and others and are unkempt or dress inappropriately.
Not princess-like at all. And it's not their fault, it's their mother's fault. So for everytime we debate about how they act & I think I win, he runs into 2 more that fucks up my arguement.
Quick story:
About a year ago, we're debating about why black girls act mean & have attitude problems. I'm thanking God that his uncle & my male friends aren't around at the time. But he says, and I quote, "if I approach them with a 'hi, how are you', they look at me like I'm crazy. But if I were to do a thug move 'yo wassup' they'll eat it up." He then tells me that mixed & white girls don't do that.
I'm telling him (with my fingers crossed, knowing many of the same girls he knows) that all of them can't act that way.
So, being the extroverted socialite he is, hedecides to test his theory at school with his friends. He & his boys "accidently" bump into girls (black, white, asian, latino, all the above), then profusely apologize. They note the reactions.
He & his friends all tell me that the black girls were the ONLY ones to get an attitude with the scowls and neck rolling, some even cursed at them. The other girls just brushed it off and kept it moving.
He & his friends thought it was hilarious. I didn't.
It was sobering for me. I've always taught my son to have standards when it comes to having homeboys & girlfriends...make sure they have a good head on their shoulders, they are well rounded, well groomed and take school & their futures seriously. But with youth attraction transcending skin color now-adays, and inter-racial dating and interests are starting at VERY young ages, it's very competitive for these young girls.
My son isn't exclusive to one race, even though I've preached about the potential perils of white girls. But because he, and lots of other teen boys like him, doesn't discriminate, those loud, boisterous girls may find themselves wading in a very shallow dating pool as adults.
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Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 19
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 04:35 pm: |
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All of that to say, while the little girls were obsessed with date Bow-Wow clones, girls from other cultures slid into their place. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 129
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 04:52 pm: |
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I hate that he feels that way because I am a Black woman. It offends me.
It seems as though your son is showing early signs of prejudice against Black women. Right now, when it comes to Black girls in particular, he is quite 'selective'; he only deals with a 'certain' type of Black girl.
Yet he doesn't have these same standards towards women of different races.
Re: Group of boys bumping into girls
The White girls/ nonblack girls probably felt 'threatened' by a group of Black guys (particularly your son being darkskin) bumping into them due to the negative stereotypes about men of color.
I don't blame the black girls for getting pissed for a group of dudes bumping into them purposely. After all it's not their fault, so why should they 'apologize'? What an unfair test. Because the Black girls are not going to be threatened by them at all--and were not wrong by expressing such anger.
Why couldn't they have tried a more positive approach? |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 130
Registered: 03-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 05:00 pm: |
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Va_sis,
Are you saying that since the Black girl's didn't like your 'darkskin' son, the nonblack girls proudly granted his acceptance?
Your son just cannot take rejection. Period. He cannot deal with the idea that every Black girl is not going to find him attractive, and will not fall for his 'tall, dark and handsomeness.' So his way of dealing with his lack of self worth, it is to take it out on Black girls by being 'selective', and overly judgemental of them.
You need to help build up his self esteem, and self worth from early childhood experiences. Because right now, I have a feeling he is going to be a another 'self hating' Black man who doesn't want anything to do with women of color. He seems less judgemental towards nonblack women already
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Afroerotik
Newbie Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 19
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 05:11 pm: |
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I think this entire dialogue is disturbing. You are telling your son that Black women love dark skinned men. Black women love men who treat us with respect. I am shocked that you can't see how you are raising your son to be exactly the type of man that you denigrate in these forums. When he's 30 and he says that all Black women have attitudes and that white women treat him better, are you going to attack him the way I've seen black men attacked in this very forum? How can you not see that you are the very same black girl grown up who is looking for a man that your son is now denigrating? Teaching your son to not judge people based on one experience is a much better lesson to teach your son that his black skin makes him attractive. I'm speechless. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1987
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 05:24 pm: |
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Va_sis
Notice how you make excuses for your colorstruck son.
Notice how you demonize black girls and make them out to be villains---these wombbearers and mothers of our race----and you post your bullshit refrains about your GOOD dark son and how he's been wronged as a PRE-teen...a fucking PRE-teen....and now you come in here like the TYPICAL weak Black American plantation bitch....making every goddamned excuse why only MIXED/WHITE girls are "good enough" for your child and how it's not that he's the sorry colorstruck bastard that you raised up....he's just HURT.
You're nothing but TRADITIONAL Virginia nigger trash--the very type of two faced women mentioned in the first post----and SO IS YOUR SON.
I'm so glad that my sons will be AUTHENTIC BLACK MEN and will have the courage and self-respect and LOVE for their own people....to give birth to their own image.
And not the white man's.
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Grind
Newbie Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 4
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 05:37 pm: |
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"I have a huge family. Any family reunion you go to, you’ll see that the majority of the male relatives under the age of 55 are married to or have baby mommas that are white women."
Wow. Amazing.
You do of course realize that your family is HIGHLY atypical of black American families? |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1988
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 06:01 pm: |
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I live on a ranch in a valley in Southern California, GRIND.
There are 19 Professional black men in this valley---all of them--all 19--are married to White women. Not one of their children will allow you to call them "black". They're "biracial" and cling to their white mothers and white family.
I have the largest ranch in this valley, owned by MY BLACK MAN (from Belize) and our two black sons (both are younger than 10).
My sons and I are moving soon from California, but you see this ALL OVER California, and of course, the state of Washington has the #1 incidence of interracial couples.
LAST UP...I read an article about a Black woman in Arkansas who was upset that all 3 of her sons married White women---and claimed that there just "are no good black women".
What's AMAZING...is that Black men now stereotype and lie on Black women BY RACE and COLOR--the way that white people historically have.
In a nation with 27 million Black Women.....ALL OF THEM....are golddiggers, Bitches&Ho's, have bad attitudes, unattractive.
According to Black men under the age of 30---this is an INATE characteristic of the "black female". She is just naturally NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
NO...they're black.
That's what the problem is.
And Black children are not getting born, and just like in North Africa---the stupid black nigger man is breeding himself out and giving the White Man yet another victory...a new way.
I guess because I'm an African woman--I must be the Queen Evil Black Bitch.
But I say, "Yall some sorry motherfuckers over here."
No other way to put it.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2321
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 06:10 pm: |
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Beauty, 2 things you said that are dead on.
04:52 pm:
The White girls/ nonblack girls probably felt 'threatened' by a group of Black guys (particularly your son being darkskin) bumping into them due to the negative stereotypes about men of color.
Tonya:
Exactly--Beauty--and we also know that people from different races are NICER to one another during one on one interaction, especially if they don't know each other well. They bend over backward.
05:00 pm:
Are you saying that since the Black girl's didn't like your 'darkskin' son, the nonblack girls proudly granted his acceptance?
Tonya:
I'd love to know the answer to that one. I've asked it many times but not once have I received an answer.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 131
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 06:23 pm: |
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Va_sis,
your son has low self esteem. And it has absolutely nothing to do with his negative attiutde towards Black women at all, or women in general. That is just the result of his feeling unworthy.
You need to find out the root of his self hate, & STOP him from directing it towards Black girls at such an early age. It's possible there were certain hidden messages you sent to him as a child, that only reinforced his negative judgements of Black women. Like you seem to only side with his irrational reasons for thinking white girls, and girls of mixed race are nicer--when in fact it's not true.
Because if I bet that if he was teased by white girls by being 'too black', then he probably would have likely ended up hating white women, and viewed Black girls as the only ones who understand his 'blackness'. It just so happen that unfortunately, the Black girls were the first to tell him how he was 'too dark', before anybody else could. And in no way am I justifying ignorant behavior.
I just don't want another future Black man going down this path. I have black nieces, and I'd hate for them to have to deal with men who are overly critical towards men of their own race. Please end this generational curse, Va_sis |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1989
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 06:33 pm: |
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No, Brownbeauty123
If White Girls make fun of black boys or diss their coloring/looks---they still want white girls.
White women can sit at Lynching Picnics with big smiles---and black men still prefer them.
Because their WOMB doesn't make you blacker--it whitens (legitimizes you).
Because their Hair is AMERICAN hair--the kind that swings and blows in t.v. commercials.
Because their bodies are "boyish" and "thinner", "weaker"--considered more feminine, because they are presented 24/7 by ALL MEDIA, black and white, as the standard of femininity.
It doesn't matter what they do. Black men don't want black children...and that was the reason that Black men alwways sought out YELLOW and it's the reason why Black women straighten their hair and desperately try to look less black.
And Black American people are in TERRIBLE denial about it---so it goes on and on and on.
A white girl can do no wrong.
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Grind
Newbie Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 06:43 pm: |
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"I live on a ranch in a valley in Southern California, GRIND.
There are 19 Professional black men in this valley---all of them--all 19--are married to White women. Not one of their children will allow you to call them "black". They're "biracial" and cling to their white mothers and white family."
Something like 94% of married black men are married to black women. The black men where you live are highly atypical of black men in America--or Southern California for that matter.
"My sons and I are moving soon from California, but you see this ALL OVER California, and of course, the state of Washington has the #1 incidence of interracial couples."
I've lived in California and while, yes, the percentage of black men dating/marrying interracially is higher there than in most of the country, even there most married black men are with black women.
"LAST UP...I read an article about a Black woman in Arkansas who was upset that all 3 of her sons married White women---and claimed that there just "are no good black women"."
That is of course horse shit. There seem to be at least 2 or 3 eligible black women for every eligible black man. I wish these guys would just admit that they are more attracted to white women and stop slandering black women.
"That's AMAZING...is that Black men now stereotype and lie on Black women BY RACE and COLOR--the way that white people historically have."
But really, that's nothing new. Black men and women have always stereotyped each other, often quite cruelly. Hell, men and women of all races do it.
"In a nation with 27 million Black Women.....ALL OF THEM....are golddiggers, Bitches&Ho's, have bad attitudes, unattractive."
Those guys are hopeless. Let's bid them good riddance and concentrate on loving the blacks who ARE down for our people.
"According to Black men under the age of 30---this is an INATE characteristic of the "black female". She is just naturally NOT GOOD ENOUGH."
You're over-generalizing. Black men who feel that way are thankfully a distinct minority.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 132
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 06:53 pm: |
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Kola,
You don't think that *any* thing can be done to prevent our future black men in America from having such a negative outlook on Black women.
I'm hoping that there can be a active solution to this. Possibly starting with Va_sis, by discouraging him at every chance from being so overly critical of his own people.
There is still a window of opportunity, she could take advantage of to stop him from categorizing black women as 'loud mouth chickenheads'. It may be hard because he is in high school and she has enabled his behavior for so long. But with the right attitude, and positive influences, most likely he will change his ideas.
It's nothing wrong with dating other races--but to *exclude* Black women out for the reasons Va_sis stated, is why so many Black men don't want us anymore. It's not for preference--it rarely is. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1990
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:00 pm: |
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You're over-generalizing. Black men who feel that way are thankfully a distinct minority.
Bullshit.
Black American men are the most colorstruck, self-hating Black men I have ever encountered outside Great Britain. And I have lived in the U.S. off and on for at least 25 years--and have lived all over this country.
The ones who do LOVE "black women"---typically mean black women who look Hawaiian or are biracial.
Regular Yellow is the new Brown. Chocolate is the new Blue Black.
Black American women have not yet GRASPED what they need to do. They're too busy blaming themselves, believing that they really are "chickenhead golddigger HOs" who don't deserve to be happy and they are not understanding what the power of their womb is and how they FEED their sons to white supremacy by not challenging it and condemning it.
Of course, for a "yellow" woman to condemn it is to acknowledge that she herself is a Symbol and Product of the very thing she seeks to destroy. And how can she acknowledge that Black women...are Black.
But it must be done. Or you're all gonna die.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1991
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:04 pm: |
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BrownBeauty123,
I think A LOT can be done.
That's why I wrote "The Authentic Black Man"...which is page 365-398 in my autobiography.
It's a letter to my sons (for them to read when they turn 18)...but it's also a message to Black Women, WORLDWIDE.
About exactly what to do.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 133
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:09 pm: |
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Grind,
You mentioned that black men need to just admit they are more attracted to white women--
but from my experiences these (pure) white women they pick are far from attractive. I think it has a lot less to do with looks, and more to do with mentality, and being able to *control* them.
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Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 21
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:11 pm: |
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Haven't y'all been busy since I've been gone.
Don't know who to address first, but let me clear a few things up. So Kola, AfroE, and BrownB, read & read carefully, 'cause after this, I ain't explaining myself NO MO'.
"Are you saying that since the Black girl's didn't like your 'darkskin' son, the nonblack girls proudly granted his acceptance?"
I said that the black girls didn't like darkskinned boys...I didn't mean to imply that all of them didn't. And it was no "cause & effect". Meaning, though SOME of the girls didn't like darkskin boys, there were many nonblacks that did.
"The White girls/ nonblack girls probably felt 'threatened' by a group of Black guys (particularly your son being darkskin) bumping into them due to the negative stereotypes about men of color."
No they all knew each other (the boys and ALL the girls).
"Your son just cannot take rejection. Period. He cannot deal with the idea that every Black girl is not going to find him attractive, and will not fall for his 'tall, dark and handsomeness.' So his way of dealing with his lack of self worth, it is to take it out on Black girls by being 'selective', and overly judgemental of them."
Who said he was being selective???? Didn't I say he wasn't exclusional???? Overly judgemental, yes, but not selective or exclusional.
"You need to help build up his self esteem, and self worth from early childhood experiences. Because right now, I have a feeling he is going to be a another 'self hating' Black man who doesn't want anything to do with women of color. He seems less judgemental towards nonblack women already".
That was when he was in the 6th grade, now he's in the 10th. He did have self esteem issues back then, and that is how I helped him overcome it...by instilling in him the beauty of having black skin. Ha! NOW, he's a very confident, self-assertive young man!
"After all it's not their fault, so why should they 'apologize'?"
"They" didn't apologize, the boys did.
"Teaching your son to not judge people based on one experience is a much better lesson to teach your son that his black skin makes him attractive. I'm speechless."
You're not speechless, you're mistaken & confused by what I was saying. The problem is that I've got too many thoughts into one, thus the misunderstanding. My three thoughts were:
1. Addressing light vs. dark. How being colorstruck can start very young and I used my son as an example. SOME black girls told him he was too dark. I responded by telling him that black skin was beautiful, to be proud of it. Is it not? That was a small snippet of a very lengthy conversation back then. What parent WOULDN'T tell their dark child that. BLACK skin is BEAUTIFUL
2. Interracial dating is being accepted as the norm & not seen as taboo by teens. Hence, competition thickens. When you have young men that seek out virtuous young women, they seek them out across color lines
3. I personally know of too many young black girls and boys that don't carry themselves as princesses and princes, and it's sickening. Black children (I don't care about any other race) should value education, community service, well-kept appearances and respect for people and property. How can anyone argue that?
P.S. I do stress the issue of not being judgemental
"making every goddamned excuse why only MIXED/WHITE girls are "good enough" for your child and how it's not that he's the sorry colorstruck bastard that you raised up....he's just HURT."
You better damn well show me where I said that only MIXED/WHITE girls are good enough, you illiterate piece of shit.
READ THE FUCKING POST, and read the 3 points above.
"You're nothing but TRADITIONAL Virginia nigger trash--the very type of two faced women mentioned in the first post----and SO IS YOUR SON."
Oh,now you can judge 2 people from 6 posts.
You're a stupid cunt.
I tell you what, bitch, you better be glad that I don't take internet shit serious, 'cause I swear when I meet you, I'm gonna take it to you NIGGER STYLE!
Now shut your stinking mouth and take time to READ and stop jumping to fucking conclusions.
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Grind
Newbie Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:19 pm: |
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Kola,
I too have lived all over the US. I've also been around black men all my life. All of my close friends are black men. Sure, I've heard black men complain about black women, just as I've heard black women complain about black men, but the idea that the average black man under 30 has written off black women is ridiculous. All of my friends, mostly edcuated black men, who are married or have kids are with black women. When I go to the mall or the grocery store, I see 15 or 20 black men with black women or black kids for every one I see with a white woman or biracial kids.
Let's try and keep some perspective here. |
Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 22
Registered: 02-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:22 pm: |
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That's the problem with the internet. It's hard to get your message across without getting tired of typing.
I wish I was face-to-face with every single last one of you, especially you Kola.
I erred in not being able to type every detail & nuance into my previous posts. For the record, in case somebody still don't want to read, my son IS NOT selective.
But I am curious?
How many of you have teen daughters? How many of you volunteer and help chaperone black kids?
When, and if, you ever do, take the time to note their behaviors. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND PERFECTLY WELL WHAT I'M SAYING!
Preaching the gospel goes well beyond pride in color. ALL skin colors are beautiful, but since us chocolate people seem to get picked on the most, DARK is fine as wine and smooth as silk. Who says nay?
Boys can sag their pants, but not 'til the point of the waistline hanging to their knees. Can anybody disagree?
Girls can be assertive and self-confident, without being loud & obnoxious in public. Are you loud & obnoxious in public? Will you allow your daughter to act that way? Does anybody disagree?
Our children need to learn that there is a HUGE world out there. And they can likely experience a good part of it if they focus in school and dream big. Any detractors?
Now
Those are the issues that I alluded to. And I know that some will still try to say me & mine are self-haters. To them, I type a hefty "FUCK YOU", 'cause that's not the case.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 134
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:31 pm: |
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Va_sis,
In your previous post, you clearly explained that your son was picked on by black girls due to his dark pigmentation. Now, in that particular post you never said that nonblacks did so as well, but if they were involved as well..
he still harbors ALL of his resentment on Black girls--despite the nonblack ones who practiced the same racial discrimination.
Now since your son is not 'selective' when it comes to Black girls--you do admit to him being overly judgemental and critical--that's a problem, are you going to help change it? Because right now you seem to only further encourage it..
by saying saying how many young black girls and boys do not behave like princesses--as if mixed race children don't have a reputation for being 'bourgeis', and 'bigots'--you keep focusing on the problem with Black people while making it clear to your son that other races shit don't stink..
it's good that you made an attempt to build your son's self esteem, but in the process you only stroked his fragile ego. by allowing him to accept his darkness as a Black male but not in a black female. Which is why he is so overly critical of black girls..
and think that black women can either be a princess (good) or a loudmouth hoodrat (bad) there is no inbetween or grey area. It's either you are or you aren't. Yet he doesn't categorize, White, Asian, Mixed Race, or other women like that. He probably judges them fairly based on their character--yet Black girls have to meet a certain criteria before they even get a fair judgement.
Again, please end this generational curse. Help your son he has a problem. Please. |
Grind
Newbie Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 7
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:32 pm: |
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"You mentioned that black men need to just admit they are more attracted to white women--
but from my experiences these (pure) white women they pick are far from attractive. I think it has a lot less to do with looks, and more to do with mentality, and being able to *control* them."
Brownbeauty123,
I agree with you to an extent. Many of these black men seem to be attracted to a certain type of white woman (low self esteem) because they are more likely to put up with abuse and exploitation than most black women. On the other hand, some just want to have biracial children. Either way these guys have outed themselves as weaklings. I say good riddance. |
Lil_ze
Veteran Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 69
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:35 pm: |
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wow, more rhetoric, to dived and conquer. despite all the claims made, the vast majority of black men marry black women. no question. the whole light skin-dark skin arguement is the same thing that was done during enslavement. lets have them fight over who's skin is lighter, what dark skin person is with what light skin person and why. also lets have them fight over the texture of their hair. i find it kind of offensive that a person would use the term "authentic black". how foolish. ive said before, is there any of OUR people out there that really think that KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR, ANGELA DAVIS, THE HONERABLE ELIJAH MUHAMMED, AALIYAH (RIP), HUEY P. NEWTON, LUDACRIS, T-BOZ (FROM TLC) or any of OUR people who have light skin are not "authentic" or any "less" black than michael jordan or wesley snipes? OUR people come in all shades it doesn't mean any of us are more or less "black". how many of us have families where some people are light and some people are dark? im sure most of us do. does anyone look at a member of their family, and say, "this member is not "authentic" or this member is more authentic", than any other member of their family because their skin is light? many families may have two dark skin parents who have a light child. or how many of us have brothers and sisters from the same parent, who all have different skin tones? divide and conquer. all of this just divides us as a nation. but its no surprise to me that some of the jealous, bitter and hateful people that are NOT a part of us, would try to continue this divide and conquer non-sense, by using terms like "authentic" to say who is black or not. as if some foreigner has a right to say who amongst us is black. |
Va_sis
Newbie Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 25
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:40 pm: |
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*sigh*
"Now since your son is not 'selective' when it comes to Black girls--you do admit to him being overly judgemental and critical--that's a problem, are you going to help change it? Because right now you seem to only further encourage it..
by saying saying how many young black girls and boys do not behave like princesses--as if mixed race children don't have a reputation for being 'bourgeis', and 'bigots'--you keep focusing on the problem with Black people while making it clear to your son that other races shit don't stink"
I've never shared all that with him...just friends, co-workers and now you.
But really, I could give a flying flick about other races "bourgeis" or not...I expect him and his peers to venture into their adult lives SUCCESSFULLY. I don't expect them to fail, they can't.
And my expectations aren't unreasonable.
I tell you what, YOU go ahead and allow & perpetuate mediocracy.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 135
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:45 pm: |
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Lil_ze,
Slow down buddy! LOL
You have to realize that there are certain types of Black men who purposely exclude more African featured women as potential dating mates because they view them as inferior. That is the problem.
It's nothing wrong with a well balanced Black male who chooses to marry a light complected Black woman because he LOVES HER, respects her, and wants a to start a family. Both him and his wife will instill positive ideas of Black men and women, and won't raise a bunch of colorstruck kids. Who can hate on that?
I know lightskin/darkskin families like that. That don't see color..
but now, these families are slowly starting to not exist. And are encouraging their children to discriminate against Blacks as a whole (some just want mixed race or white blood)..that is the issue. These people are the problem. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 137
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:48 pm: |
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Va_sis, fine. I will leave you alone. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 138
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 07:50 pm: |
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::hugs:: |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 27
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 08:15 pm: |
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::hugs:: to you, too.
By all means, don't bow out on my account. I'm a big girl. This little internet debate is child's play.
But when Kola decided to drag my son into the name calling, she SMUSHED the lines...them's fighting words.
BrownB, AfroE
do you have kids? If so, are they pre-teens?
Okay, say for instance one of them came to you saying that girls like his lighter friends and he's too dark?
What is your response?
I see the points you're making, but for whatever reason, you totally disregarded my entire posts and focused only on..........color.
Another quick story:
"little dee dee" (who lives across the street) is about 15 and LOVES to hang with the neighborhood boys, even into the night. She's VERY voluptuous, and dresses WAY inappropriately for a young girl with her shape. She's always play fighting with the boys, and in the process, everyone can hear her screaming when she gets pinned on the ground by one of them.
Guess what I'm going to do?
Next time I see her ('cause you CAN'T go to her house...that's counter-productive), I'm going to pull her to the side & tell her it's not cool for her to be around the boys in the ways she has been. Not only is it unladylike, it's dangerous. Because how will anyone be able to tell if she's screaming 'cause she's really in trouble.
Not princess-like is it? Or am I wrong for calling it out and wanting to speak with her about it? You'll probably say I am, and throw the color issue in it somehow.
Doesn't matter. No harm. No foul. |
Lil_ze
Veteran Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 71
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 08:39 pm: |
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brownbeauty, i understand what you are saying. and of course there are black men who choose lighter skin women as mates because they view them as not as attractive or "inferior" as you say. but i really think the whole idea that blacks are some how encouraging their children to "mix themselves" or abandon brown or dark skin people is just false. there are something like 35 million, so-called "black-americans" (im just speaking about the ones of our people who are know as black american). could you imagine in your mind, one million of anything. thats a great number. now, lets try to fathom 35 million people. how is there any way on earth for anyone to know what 35 million people are attempting to do. or how they are "mixing" their blood, or how they want their children to look? lets just consider black- american men. say there are 14 or 15 million black american men. how could anyone say that they are trying to "mix" their blood or encouraging their children to discriminate against blacks as a whole. 15 million men. how is it possible to make such claims? like i said, the vast majority of black men marry black women. so it would seem that the evidence disproves that black men or people are some how trying to "mix" themselves or are encouraging their children to discriminate against other blacks. i just don't see it. what it do see is an organized effort to put these ideas into the heads of black people. in order to have then suspicious, angry, and distrustful of one another. but are these things reality? i just don't believe its true. remember we are talking about MILLIONS of people. not just the handful we see on tv or the handful a few of us see day to day. but, brownbeauty, i respect you point of view. and value your opinion. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1992
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 08:57 pm: |
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I wish I was face-to-face with every single last one of you, especially you Kola.
No you don't, BAMA WHY--N--CH.
You really don't.
Them's fighting words.
And I would whoop your motherfuck'n MEDIOCRE country colorstruck ASSSS....and put 12 KNOTS upside your wig hooks.....
...just for the fact that you look at little black girls (they outnumber your son 3 to 1)
...AND SEE YOURSELF in those innocent little girls....and therefore, you don't like little
ASHY, Notty-haired, fast ass black girls--because they remind you of yourself.
They're not good enough for that smug bastard you raised up to think he's better than his own goddamned ANCESTORS--because it's 2006 and he can stick his dick in a dirty White Bitch.
But all these ugly plump and goofey ass WHITE and biracial BASTARD STOCK little girls--the kinds that let black boys RUN TRAINS on them in garages and think they're better than little black girls, because black women LIKE YOU confirm it----you BEND OVER backwards, like a typcical yard nigger, to welcome those WHITE CAUCASOID SKANKS into the family.
And we all know why.
I wouldn't give a fuck if everybody on this goddamned board ganged up, chartered a bus and CAME WITH YOU to my front door to try and stick their foot up my ass
------it would not change who and WHAT you are.
You can talk in circles for the rest of your son's goddamned life....and you're still just a typical self-hating, keep'n up with the Joneses Black American Plantation NIGGER BITCH (or in case you're African....African Colonialist Pogo Auntie Sadie Bitch) making EXCUSES for both your son and YOURSELF.
There's nothing wrong with these
little Black American girls---these are
the sweetest prettiest little girls
Virginia is OVER-RUN with precious, sweet, beautiful little church-going BLACK girls who would be good to your son and to you....IF ONLY...they were judged by the content of their character and not their skin color, nappy hair and DIASPORA facial features.
I detest women like you.
And no---you don't wish you were up in my goddamned face.
You wouldn't even wish that on GOD at this moment.
STOP KILLING
YOUR OWN FUCKING
DAUGHTERS....JUST
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO
BE WHITE PEOPLE!!!!!
You're nothing but trash!
SUPPORT YOUR BLACK
DAUGHTERS!!!!!
No matter fucking WHAT!
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1993
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 09:00 pm: |
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WHEN YOU CHOOSE A BLACK WOMAN...you choose and affirm Black Children, you choose and affirm BLACK PEOPLE.
Stop being a bunch of fucking Niggers (America) and POGO-Niggers (Africa).
DROP THE FUCKING DENIAL.
Everybody with two eyes and two ears can see
what is going on over here.
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Caprical
Newbie Poster
Username: Caprical
Post Number: 6
Registered: 04-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 09:05 pm: |
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Va_sis
Are you really telling us that part of the reason you dont consider the majority of young black women marriage material for your son is because of a young black female who's a tom boy?
From what you're telling me the girl sounds like a normal young girl. There are plenty of tom boys at that age but it seems with whites if a girl is acting like a tomboy this doesn't reflect on the majority of the group in a negative wayand it doesn't brand her for life as a "man-acting", bossy black bitch like it does black women. White girls and white women have the freedom to relax and step outside gender norms every once in a while and jsut have fun without being branded in this way but as soon as a black female does it, she's no longer "feminine." This is one of the stereotypes i utterly despise. All of us are supposedly bossy and man-acting no matter what we do.
If a black girl is a tomboy she's negatively branded as unlady-like rather than simply being seen as what she is; an young girl who's still growing up.
At that age a lot of girls like to have fun and let loose and dont feel the need to ahve to worry about living up to gender rules. The way i see it leave the kid alone and let her play.LOL. Beleive me kids grow up fast enough already.
the only thing that i would worry about is her getting hurt, but you have to remember there are a lot of girls stronger than boys, especially these days. I know when i was 12 and 15 i was stronger than most boys my age.
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Caprical
Newbie Poster
Username: Caprical
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 09:26 pm: |
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"But all these ugly plump and goofey ass WHITE and biracial BASTARD STOCK little girls--the kinds that let black boys RUN TRAINS on them in garages "
not that i'm calling va_sis any of the names you called her but this is so on point because a good nomber of the white women that these black men fool with are straight whores. This is why it amazes me that va_sis would sit up and claim the BLACK girls around her sons age are the ones who aren't relationship material for her son. You will find whores and skanks in any and every race (white, black, latina, asian, whatever). Some stereotypes are true but what i've found is very few of them are.
Anyway, when it comes to which race has the most whores, this is one stereotype that's just pure poppycrock because anyone with common sense KNOWS there are plety of whores in every race ESPECIALLY when you compare black women , white women, hispanic women and asian women.
The only 2 groups that i've known that tend to be pretty conservative when it comes to whoreing are women from india and women STRAIGHT from africa. These 2 cultures tend to be very strict on loose women and the women are traditional to the extreem.
keep in mind i'm not talking about prostitutes who are in poor countries and feel that they HAVE to do this. I'm simply talking about everyday women who give it up without their cicumstances forcing them to. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1994
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 09:42 pm: |
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I've been pregnant with 6 boys. 2 of them lived.
I thank God for my little Kings, because they are phenomenal sons and I wouldn't trade them for the world.
But I would love to have me a little black daughter. I sure would love her.
Nothing and no one on this earth is better than a little black girl.
They come straight from heaven.
It's all how you raise them, that's all.
I don't know why that's all I ever hear from the Black community---putting down little black girls.
Nobody else's group does this, just ours. We listen to the radio and they're calling little black girls "nappyheaded" "chickenhead" "skank-skeezer Hos". No matter what they do--there's something wrong with them and they should be ashamed.
How can they grow up and be anything else if that's all that BLACK MEN and these weak ass Black WOMEN plant in their heads???
It's just shameful!
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Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 29
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:16 pm: |
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"Va_sis
Are you really telling us that part of the reason you dont consider the majority of young black women marriage material for your son is because of a young black female who's a tom boy?"
Where in the hell did you read where I EVER said that???
And this has NOTHING to do with Dee Dee being a tomboy! SHE SHOULD NOT BE HANGING UP UNDER THOSE BOYS INTO THE NIGHT!
Did you not read this?
"The way i see it leave the kid alone and let her play"
Yup, you really don't get it. |
Caprical
Newbie Poster
Username: Caprical
Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:26 pm: |
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If you want people to get it maybe you should explain your point better instead of allowing your emotions to cloud your judgement and coming off as bitter and defensive at whoever doesn't agree with you!
I approached you in a very respectful way (especially when you weigh in how angered i was by your post. I could ahve gotten very ignorrat with you but i decided not to)although i disagreed but all i get back is a bunch of ranting and raving. Have you ever thought maybe your son is looking at YOU and saying this is the reaosn i don't want to be around black women? Maybe he's thinking they're all like you. A childs first image of the opposite sex comes form their parents. Think aobut it and think about how you're coming off on this board. You're coming off the same as the stereotype you're trying to accuse other black women of.
I noticed you did brown beauty the same way.She was another one who tried to debate intelligently with you. Again there were no personal attacks or screaming, yelling and cursing in her posts but you had to show your ignorrance full force. Just letting you know it's not working on me and you need to take a look in the mirror before judging other black women. |
Caprical
Newbie Poster
Username: Caprical
Post Number: 10
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:29 pm: |
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"Where in the hell did you read where I EVER said that??? "
and if you weren't saying this then why the hell bring it up in your defense of your son and the reason you feel the way you do about black girls. You may not have come out and said it but it sure seemed that you were IMPLYING it. Now if i'm reading it wrong then i'm wrong but that sure is what it looked like as clear as day.
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Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 30
Registered: 02-2004
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:32 pm: |
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"And I would whoop your motherfuck'n MEDIOCRE country colorstruck ASSSS....and put 12 KNOTS upside your wig hooks....."
First of all, put the pipe down and prove that I'm colorstruck.
This ain't what you want, Kola, for real. Words to the wise, don't make threats to strangers when your schedule & photographs are public.
But to the issue at hand:
"you're still just a typical self-hating, keep'n up with the Joneses Black American Plantation NIGGER BITCH (or in case you're African....African Colonialist Pogo Auntie Sadie Bitch) making EXCUSES for both your son and YOURSELF"
How the hell am I self-hating? You know, you'd be more effective if you actually knew what the fuck you're talking about. But since I've followed this board from 3 years ago, the one thing you CAN do is name-call.
You stink, Kola. You smell like ass & death, and you're narrow minded.
"There's nothing wrong with these
little Black American girls---these are
the sweetest prettiest little girls"
Uh-huh. Outwardly, beautiful pics indeed, but you're missing the issues. Our black american girls & boys are in trouble, AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.
What's sad Kola, is that you picked a mere observation of behaviors, tagged it as being colorist & self-hating BUT REFUSE TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRUTHS IN THE PREVIOUS POSTS.
Get off the god-damn color train for a second and realize that our daughters teen pregnancy rates are sky-rocketing. That they are getting infected with std's and hiv at rates like no other. That Dee Dee and girls like her are heading no where fast.
Color don't mean SHIT when you're hemmed up in a situation you can't fix or live through.
I'll finish dealing with your stupid ass in the morning.
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 962
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:41 pm: |
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BEAUTIFUL AS USUAL to both Afroerotik and Kola, and I agree with EVERY WORD of it.
I was saying in another thread that all you have to do in MS to guarantee that a black man will not only avoid you but INSULT you to your face.... is have nappy hair. Hmmmm, I wonder how many BLACK GIRLS are born with naturally NAPPY HAIR and therefore aren't good enough for these men? Not their attitudes, not their way of dress. But an angel can walk outside and if she has AFRICAN HAIR, that's reason to AVOID her. But people make excuses and say it's "not" that she's black....but that she has BLACK HAIR.....hmmm, I wonder how many black girls have BLACK HAIR? ALL OF THEM...so what a good reason to avoid ALL OF THEM.
I'm SO FUCKING HAPPY I live where I live: near educated black people, many of them African, and many of them natural haired. After living in this neighborhood, if my son EVER says he can't find ANY nice black girls, I'll kick his ass myself. If he acts like he doesn't know that natural hair can look good, I'll kick his ass myself.
But, guess what Va_sis.....if you, a black woman, don't CONFRONT and OPPOSE your son when he says all black females are (fill in the blank), and you "understand" his rejection of black women....why wouldn't he take your word for it? Wouldn't a black woman know better than anyone else a black woman's worth? Your "understanding" his rejection of black women CONFIRMS for him that something is wrong with them..."look, even my BLACK MOTHER agrees."
And GENIUS, these black GIRLS your son is rejecting....will be WOMEN when he's ready for marriage. They're just girls NOW, that he's still interested in girls. When he's old enough for a WOMAN, who is he going to see but the same girls who weren't good enough for him to begin with?
ooooh, KOLA....that girl with the AFRO....imagine that, but nearly TWICE AS BIG! That's what my hair used to look like. I kind of miss it, but that was a job to maintain! |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 31
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:43 pm: |
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"I approached you in a very respectful way (especially when you weigh in how angered i was by your post. I could ahve gotten very ignorrat with you but i decided not to)although i disagreed but all i get back is a bunch of ranting and raving"
Yes, you did. But because you were making empty assumptions, that's why I came back somewhat strong...didn't think I was offensive. We can all disagree, but read.
Where did you read that I said black girls are not marriage material?
Nowhere, did you? And what did you say you were angered by?
Ranting & raving how? Because I stressed a point in all caps and used more than one question mark. If what I responded back with was offense to you, hey, I apologize. That goes back to what I said earlier about communicating on the net.
And as far as BrownB, I know I didn't try to come off cursing at her...I'm only cursing at Kola. Certainly, if BB feels otherwise, I apologize to her, too. We can all disagree, just know what you're disagreeing on.
As far as Kola? Fuck her...she's nobody. I won't hold any ill feelings to her after this, but she's gonna get what she dishes out, plain & simple.
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 963
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:44 pm: |
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Kola:
"We listen to the radio and they're calling little black girls "nappyheaded" "chickenhead" "skank-skeezer Hos". No matter what they do--there's something wrong with them and they should be ashamed.
How can they grow up and be anything else if that's all that BLACK MEN and these weak ass Black WOMEN plant in their heads???"
EXACTLY!!! |
Afroerotik
Newbie Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 21
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:46 pm: |
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Va_sis, I do not have children. I have two young ladies that I've mentored for more than six years. I've witnessed them, both BEAUTIFUL young ladies, tell me that light skin makes a woman beautiful and I've held them in my arms when they have cried over the love of their lives chose to show attention to a Latina, light skinned, or white girl instead of them.
I do not have children but I have a first cousin who has SEVEN children by six different women. I hear how the grown men and women in the neighborhood, middle class neighborhood, blame the girls for getting pregnant and I'm the ONLY person who holds him accountable for his stank and doggish behavior.
I understand you think you are a great mother and you just love your son. I suspect that there is no father in the picture and you've made your son into the man of the house. It's precisely that sort of thinking however, that facilitates the emotional immaturity of Black men when they become adults. Your son has to bring more to the table than being attractive and dark in order to be a good black man. He has to start by showing love for black women, showing compassion, showing empathy. Unfortunately, you are teaching him just the opposite. I know you don't think you are and I have nothing but compassion for you trying to raise your child but I'm begging you, I'm imploring you to ask yourself if you are guilty of all the things that Black men accuse you of. Are you the gold-digging, materialistic, unsupportive whiny bitch that men have accused Black women of being? No, you aren't. But your behavior is reinforcing to your son that black women are exactly the lies you have to fight against from black men that are your peers.
You must, as a black woman, teach your son to be accountable for his actions, to apologize when he's done something wrong, you must teach him to form intimate, loving relationships with black women. Every time you allow him to denigrate black girls, you are allowing him to denigrate you as a black woman. He will grow up and find reasons to find any excuse to validate white women and you know how you feel when black men do that to you.
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Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 964
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 10:55 pm: |
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OMG, Afroerotik.....I'm speechless...if that doesn't change anyone's heart, nothing will.
I'm glad you mentor those young ladies. I hope you continue to do so.
It's people like you who are BENEFICIAL to our communities.
You said that very nicely, and if you had any anger when you wrote it, it wasn't apparent, but very respectful.
Beautiful!!! |
Afroerotik
Newbie Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 23
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:27 pm: |
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Renata, I have no anger in my heart, not even against the people that try to disparage me. I am a black woman; I can show nothing but love for other black women wherever they are on their journey. I must send light and love to those Black men that look to tear me down and acknowledge that they are only using the dysfunctional tools that they've been given. That doesn't mean that they themselves have no worth, it simply means that they were handicapped by a set of beliefs that prevents them from realizing their true nature. Yes, at times, I do get frustrated but I'm willing to do whatever I have to do in order to facilitate the changes that will usher in our healing. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1995
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:30 pm: |
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Va_Sis,
You're goddamned right my photos and schedule are PUBLIC.
It's always been that way--ask the State Department, ask Sheik Omar Bahkri and Osama Bin laden.
And I've been threatened and CONFRONTED by motherfuckers a million times more dangerous than you--so if you're WOMAN ENOUGH (or got a man whose MAN ENOUGH) to give me what I got coming...as you put it....then come on down to get your ass kicked.
You'll have to get in line though.
And as far as Black American children being in BIG TROUBLE...
...that's because they have sorry ass women like you for mothers.
Women who put on airs and don't love themselves, let alone their children.
All you talk about is the MATERIAL SUCCESS you envision for that smug bastard you raised to think he's better than his ancestors.
Now you're banking on him providing you with more STATUS SYMBOLS---grandbabies with "good hair"---who look NOTHING like your ancestors---and a White Daughter In Law (or Mexican, Korean, Octoroon, same thing) to flaunt and coo over at your cook-outs.
Bitches like you are so pathetic.
And it's YOU who will get what she deserves if she ever dare makes it in my presence.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1996
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:32 pm: |
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Thank God I'm raising AUTHENTIC BLACK MEN...who will be man enough to give birth to their own image.
And not the white man's.
Thank GOD my sons won't be Niggers
with your nose up a White bitch's
asshole.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1997
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:36 pm: |
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NO RENATA...what Va_Sis is doing is far worse than that.
She's confirming for her son that the entire BLACK RACE is inferior and defective whenever she says that "black women"---the mothers of our race---are (fill in the blank).
The White Man's Mother, who used to own and abuse your black seed for 400 years, however, is to be cherished, respected and AFFIRMED by this sorry bastard who's been raised up to believe he's superior to his own ancestors----because he can fuck a white woman.
And this is where MILLIONS of these sorry ass, colorstruck Black men come from. Pathetic nigger Bitches like Va_Sis.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1998
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, April 19, 2006 - 11:52 pm: |
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And let me tell you all...EXACTLY WHY I've elected to be so vicious, hostile and to call this woman's child names
---it's because she's put him so high on a pedestal; and she's committed to "the American dream" and to the Status Symbols that he must achieve, as she said, which will come vicariously through him and his High Toned life---
and while she was announcing all this with such a flourish--putting us down, our daughters and nieces and sisters down---she honestly believed that we were supposed to be IMPRESSED.
That we're supposed to think highly of her ignorance and her stupid ass SON who's failure to appreciate his own reflection (dark black females like himself) is some BADGE OF HONOR, some kind of "intelligence" he's earned because she's a Middle Class DOWAGER with MORALS.
She doesn't even realize that all her son does is CONFIRM that White People are Superior---and that Blacks shouldn't be born.
His stinking mulatto baby will likely think the same way he and its grandmother does.
AND THAT IS WHY.
That is why I made the choice to let this bitch have it and to call her and her sons names---so that she'll know that we are not impressed.
I live on a $2 million ranch and have done more in my lifetime (at age 40) than she ever will in 3 lifetimes....and I got two truly beautiful BLACK sons--the rare type that will become AUTHENTIC BLACK MEN....and I am not impressed by her SON.
I'm disgusted.
And no---I won't be nice.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1999
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 12:09 am: |
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And I've been a WHORE, too---back in the day (since she's so "squeamish" about black girls exhibiting that dirty sexuality fo theirs).
Add that to the list.
Never a "prostitute", mind you, but I was a WHORE. And worse than that---I was a GOOD ONE.
I have never worked a 9 to 5 job in my life!
Until I wrote books and just joined "Days of Our Lives"---there has never been a Social Security W2 listing on Naima Bint Harith/Kola Boof. EVER.
My men paid taxes---not me.
And the Black man who put me on this $2 million ranch LOVES BLACK WOMEN---regardless; ...ree-gard-less---WHAT THEY DO...a Black woman can do no wrong iin Thomas's eyes. And he loves our black babies---and he WANTED us. And he knows all about my SINFUL SHIT...
...hell, I celebrate my SINS.
And I'm still a better woman than she'll EVER be.
And I'm still a better woman than she'll EVER be.
And I'm still a better woman than she'll EVER be.
And get it straight.....
White and Latino TEEN girl pregnancy is 37% and 19% HIGHER in America
than Black girl TEEN pregnancy.
According to the CENSUS BUREAU...since 2000..."African American" women are the LEAST impregnated women in this country.
Just some more FACTS for you smart people's Strategy.
Your ancestors built this goddamned country and you're giving it all away to the Latinos and White Women!!!
You think Kobe Bryant's video hoochie WIFE married him because she was IN LOVE with him????
Is that what SMART BITCHES like you, Va_Sis really think???
You need to be put a new pack of marbles in that marble-machine head of yours.
My sisters---give birth to a new son.
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Afroerotik
Regular Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 26
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 12:35 am: |
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Queen Kola, I understand your rage. I feel your rage. I get angry at the insistance of our people to hold on to beliefs and patterns that are nothing less than pathological. This is a thankless journey we are on to educate and enlighten. Do not hold your tongue dear queen because we must wake up from this coma of dysfunction. You must rattle the cage and upset the boat. We are at war with belief sytems that are killing us. Fight on dear queen, fight on brave soldier. Do not settle for the atatus quo and rage against the machine. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 139
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 12:54 am: |
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Va_sis,
I don't have any kids, although I do have nieces and nephews.
If my son was to confide in me about being ridiculed for his dark complexion, like you I would build his self esteem and confidence. But will do everything in my power so that he doesn't grow up to hate Black women. I will give my kids all kinds of books about black history and so on. I'm about to start right now with my neice and nephew.
My niece who is around Beyonce's complexion LOVES being Black. If you say she's lightskin, she will yell at you and say "I am Brown, I'm Black and I love it." She doesn't pick White Barbie Dolls over Black ones--actually it doesn't really matter to her. It's probably due to my family not being colorstruck and having this 'whiter, lighter is better' mentality.
And Kola I love you energy. Your posts get me so amped! |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 140
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:00 am: |
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Kola,
how do you feel about mixed race individuals participation to help strengthen the Black race?
I have nothing against biracial individuals who express great pride in their African pride--only if they walk the walk, and talk the talk... |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2003
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:13 am: |
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Well, the half-caste are our children.
There is a little biracial girl down the hill who comes up here wanting to ride my horses. I won't let her ride the horses, but I have been teaching her to make little recipes (like Rhubarb cobbler) and she helps me garden. She is half Jewish, so I taught her to make Jewish Hannakuh sugar loaf.
Notice her Jewish mother doesn't know anything about their Jewish culture---but you see, that's the problem I have with AMERICANS.
In Africa, I have no problem with Half-caste. I don't feel threatened. Hell, in Sudan--it becomes painfully obvious that I myself am biracial bastard. I've never denied it.
But in America, where there is a terrible hierarchy, I have resented them (the mixed and biracial) greatly--because they serve and benefit and protect White Supremacy.
I don't like seeing "Authentic Blacks" on the bottom. EVER.
The Half-Caste is its own creation. It can never represent the true black.
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Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2004
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:15 am: |
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BrownBeauty123,
You should watch this video about my life and how I live and what I believe:
http://doorofkush.50megs.com/about.html
This will make you understand me more.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 141
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:22 am: |
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Thanks, Kola!
How come white men haven't been affected by interracial dating? And do you think eventually they will? |
Lil_ze
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 79
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:46 am: |
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va-sis, there is a kind of prevaling mindset on the part of the people on this board to name-call and insult anyone who has a different opinion. a natural reaction is to come back and also name call(as i have done in the past), but all it does is bring us down to the low level of those who cannot have a conversation without insulting people. my hope is that OUR people can get past this divide and conquer "light skin- dark skin" madness. to say call anyone an "authentic" black, seems to infer that some of our people are "un-authentic". this kind of thinking just divides us, and causes us to have animosity toward one another. even our people who have white mothers are still our people. halle berry once said, "my mother always told me, you are a black girl with a white mother". i feel this is true. my opinion is that we spend WAY to much time talking about superficial non-sense like "light skin or dark skin" or "good hair or bad hair". in america i don't feel there is a hierarchy where "authentic" blacks are at the bottom. my experience has been that the lighter skin of our people, have always been singeled out, ridiculed, and made to feel like they were less than. most of our people (including myself) are brown skin. so i don't think its a "cake walk" for any of OUR people who are light skin. i just don't see how it benifits us in anyway, to keep focusing on "light skin-dark skin". it only separates us. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 2005
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 01:56 am: |
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White men already get the "cream of the crop" of every race of woman there is.
That's what White Supremacy is all about.
Keeping his "seed" white--but having access to all the races that feel inferior to him.
Unlike Black men...White men keep black, asian, latino MISTRESSES...but give their "ring" and "wealth" to the White Queen.
He rules through the White Queen, just as he should.
And white men are really not threatened by Black men at all.
This is how they brought down EGYPT and North Africa.
By persuading the Black man to breed himself out of existense. White men LOVE to see a little Mulatto child--because the lines begin to blur as those Mulatto children will more than likely choose to become even more Vin Diesel-looking. Look at Tiger Woods and his whiter baby.
They OBLITERATE the black man's genetic seed...but also...his Culture and his ability to RULE is destroyed as children's "loyalties" are made PALE WITH CONFUSION.
When Black men choose White women---the White Man is WINNING.
And when Black People adhere to the "One Drop" rule, the White Man's strategy is winning.
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 419
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 02:05 am: |
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O.K let me step in here. Va_sis your son sounds pathetic and I don't mean to be rude. My brothers are the same way. Authentic black men who hate black women. Like Kola said self-hatred is passed down from the mother.
Its almost like a trickle down effect. The white man tells the black man the he is inferior. The black men tells the black woman that she is inferior. And the black woman tells her children that they are "too Black and too inferior".
Va_sis you are a self-hating dark-skinned woman who needs to needs to fix her own self-esteem first, then she will be able to fix her son's. I remember a post by prettybabgirl who said that it always surprises he to see really dark-skinned ppl with like skinned babies, as if dark-skinned babies aren't good enough. I see the same thing everyday of my life here in L.A.
I see these dark-skinned grandmothers with these light-skinned grandbabies. It's seems now that some black woman are encouraging there sons to get with Non-black women. How sad and selfish that these black mothers would encourage there son's self-destruction(because everytime you refuse to create your own image you are destroying yourself) for there own gratification.
I also love how the white man sits back and encourages black men(especially the authentic ones) to breed themselves out. The white man does this by encouraging the black mans low self-esteem, and helping the black man demonize black women. Black women are constantly assaulted by media images that affirm that they are not beautiful. Black men believe this and internalize these feelings.
Also Kola I live here in Pasadena and I don't neccessarily see what you are talking about. Occassionally, I will see a black man with a non-black woman but for the most part here in Altadena black men are marrying black women. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 32
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 06:58 am: |
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Let me break it up into little pieces for you. Ths is EXACTLY what I said, so nobody can get it screwed up.
"So, in essence, he realizes it's not the black women, it's the black GIRLS that he's been running across. He loves knowing and meeting black girls that carry themselves like princesses."
Where does it say that he hates black girls?
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Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 33
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 06:59 am: |
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Little, little pieces:
"And there are princess-like girls in his life...and he complains that they already have a boyfriend (that's another story) or they call themselves his sisters."
These are black girls I'm talking about, people. The whole 'nother story that I'm referring to is that he & they were freshman...I thought they were too young to be seriously dating. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 34
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 07:06 am: |
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A teeny piece:
"The ones I'M referring to and know are loud, boisterous, disrespectful to themselves and others and are unkempt or dress inappropriately.
Not princess-like at all. And it's not their fault, it's their mother's fault. So for everytime we debate about how they act & I think I win, he runs into 2 more that fucks up my arguement."
As mentioned before, Dee Dee and her friends, NEVER did I say ALL BLACK GIRLS. You should hear the way she talks to her mother & grandmother!!!!! With all the things going on in her life, at the rate their going, these girls will find themselves in a shallow dating pool. They're not college bound (right now). Where do you think our educated brothers find their wives to be? In college & during their careers? Dee Dee could very well only have thugs to choose from when she gets older, and that's not fair for her.
Nonetheless, I actually take the time to pull their coat tails in private & tell them to be more concientious of what they do & how they act.
But, for anyone that disagrees with that...there is a serious problem. And it's not me & my son |
Afroerotik
Regular Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 32
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 07:16 am: |
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If he doesn't like black GIRLS, what do you think black girls grow up to be? Mami, you really are teaching your son not to love black females, women, girls, whatever you want to call it. You can blame the mother's of the girls with no problem. We are just asking you to look at your own behaviors. You are far from the only mother of a black boy that has done this. It's the standard for raising children in this dysfunctional society. I really hope you take the time to read my missive on raising emotionally healthy children and take it to heart because you thinking that your college educated son is going to be a great catch for someone is a fallacy unless you address his core beliefs that will make him an inherently bad partner for any woman, black or non-black. Education and employment does not a good black man make. Intergrity, honesty, maturity, compromise, communication, and accountability ar the things that make a Black man good. Not his skin color, not his penis, not his attractiveness, not his income. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 35
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 08:54 am: |
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"If he doesn't like black GIRLS..."
There it is again, it's not black girls period.
It's the ones that he's run across (Dee Dee, cousins, and HER friends) BEHAVIOR. Behavior, AfroE. Behavior.
"Education and employment does not a good black man make. Intergrity, honesty, maturity, compromise, communication, and accountability ar the things that make a Black man good. Not his skin color, not his penis, not his attractiveness, not his income."
I certainly agree with that, but instead of being able to progress to other points such as those above, I've been wasting my time clarifying the other ones.
BUT, education and employment are an integral part of completing the whole picture. You can't deny that. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 36
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:00 am: |
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Now for Kola:
"And I've been threatened and CONFRONTED by motherfuckers a million times more dangerous than you--so if you're WOMAN ENOUGH (or got a man whose MAN ENOUGH) to give me what I got coming...as you put it....then come on down to get your ass kicked."
First, I never put "anything" out there that said you've got something coming to you, other than my lashing out at you- which was in response to Caprical's inquiry about cursing.
Second, you're right. I'm not dangerous at all. What you'd get from me if it ever came to it is an old fashioned pony-tail and Vaseline fight.
The "words to the wise" comment was just that. WORDS TO THE WISE.
Anybody that is a public figure should not go off in a threatening manner to strangers on the internet...I'm sure the State Department told you that. Then again. That should be common sense. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 37
Registered: 02-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:08 am: |
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"And I've been a WHORE, too---back in the day (since she's so "squeamish" about black girls exhibiting that dirty sexuality fo theirs)."
You're really losing effectiveness.
You're damn skippy that I'm squeamish about young girls that practice dangerous behavior.
"And I'm still a better woman than she'll EVER be."
You really are a JOKE! You know a person JUST from a few posts on a message board? You've got to be smarter than that!
You've been spewing nothing but venomous ASSUMPTIONS about me.
I happen to wear my hair natural and have been for the past 3 years...yet you say I all I want are mixed babies with good hair.
I can go on & on to counter the bullshit that you've been hyping up the board on, but I don't have the time...yup, I'm at my 9 to 5, mofo.
You, Kola, are a clown. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 38
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:13 am: |
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"My niece who is around Beyonce's complexion LOVES being Black. If you say she's lightskin, she will yell at you and say "I am Brown, I'm Black and I love it." She doesn't pick White Barbie Dolls over Black ones--actually it doesn't really matter to her. It's probably due to my family not being colorstruck and having this 'whiter, lighter is better' mentality."
Okay, but will you allow your neice to dress and act anything other than the princess that she is? She sounds fortunate to have that instilled in her already, but say for instance she didn't.
That's my whole point.
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Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 39
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 09:24 am: |
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"you are really teaching your son not to love black women..."
I'm curious to know how you gathered that?
Have I not said all along that what I posted here has not been shared with him? That when he talks about DEE DEE and other girls that act like she does (not black girls as a whole) I debate him down about it (read: discuss, preach).
I can go a step further and say that I also lead by example. Aside from the booty shaking incident to keep the house (no, he has no idea about that), I live as a self-sufficient, independent, community activist, that loves art, hanging with friends, on & on & on.
I don't have the time to continue this post...I will come back to it when I do.
I'd love to see how folks twist this one. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2323
Registered: 07-2005
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:02 am: |
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How are we defining "princess?" Not judging, Va_sis, but you admitted to being a single mother who once stripped for a living. Just to be clear, is that how we're defining "princess?" I agree that you are probably a lot of wonderful things, but I'm not clear if princess is one of them.
Another thing, in my 31 years on this planet, the only two black princesses I've seen/read were in the movie that Brandy, Whoopi Goldberg, and Whitney Houston made... and in Kola's brilliant book: "Flesh and The Devil" - the most I've read about royalty within our race. I know lots of young and little black princesses (the majority from the projects or working class neighborhoods) but I rarely see any portrayed in black art. They give us plenty of "ho's" and "bitches"... and oftentimes we are referred to as old ass queens--but not black princesses, though.... Whose fault is that, little black girls'?
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Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 40
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:41 am: |
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"How are we defining "princess?"
Good question! I hope I can be clear the first time around with this post and nobody twists it.
Prince & princess comes from the adage that our people are kings & queens. "Old school" teachings bought up our prior generations to respect elders, act appropriately in public, so on & so forth. And ideally, we should still be husbands that took care of families, wives that took care of their husbands & kids. To go a step further, our young royalty should dream big...shoot for the moon if you will.
If you exhibit counter-productive behavior at a young age, then you will likely to not grow out of it.
When I was a teen, I was nerdy as hell. I respected my peers, elders. I even was boy crazy. But I didn't dress inappropriately. I had manners in public. My only regret is that I didn't dream BIG...the only thing I knew about was business. Not engineering. Not world missions. Our kids can be ANYTHING they want to be in this world. But how will they know if they aren't exposed & encouraged?
Too many thoughts at once again. Let me stop.
"Not judging, Va_sis, but you admitted to being a single mother who once stripped for a living."
Not taking it as such, Tonya.
I can easily say that stripping is not queenly behavior, but I did what I had to do to get out of one situation. Only a few people knew.
I didn't strip for a living, I did two parties (never went the club route) because I was going into foreclosure. Though some male friends and my dad tried to help, I was still short and exhausted all other resources.
Like I alluded to in another thread, I wouldn't encourage any of our girls to strip. But if you feel that is your last resort and I can't offer any other solutions, I understand.
I appreciate what you did, Tonya. You asked first for clarification before making assumptions.
"They give us plenty of "ho's" and "bitches"... and oftentimes we are referred to as old ass queens--but not black princesses, though.... Whose fault is that, little black girls'?"
As I said before, it's not their fault. It's their mother's fault. I can only speak of the girls that I deal with/live near/talk to. It's the same scenario with them. They don't realizing by the way they dress & behave, they aren't respecting themselves. Their mothers, for whatever reason, isn't trying to steer them in a better direction. Eventually, I'll get to talk to them to find out why.
The same goes for the boys. Walk the walk. Be in training now. Respect your parents, peers and elders. Strive to want more in life.
Can't get into it about media & such now, but YOU ARE RIGHT about the lack of portrayal in black art.
I'll come back. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 41
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:43 am: |
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"And ideally, we should still be husbands that took care of families, wives that took care of their husbands & kids."
Add to that, communities that boasted their own commerce and neighbors that looked out for each other. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 144
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 03:07 pm: |
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Lil_ze,
We're approaching a time where races no longer stick together. Black men are starting to couple off and start families with women of different races.
Society seems to be trying to accept and embrace this new multicultural way of life--my gripe with it is that it NEVER involves BLACK WOMEN. It's like everybody else is dating, and mating other races but primarily Black women are never the object of affection. It's usually Black men (insert race).
Black men are starting to include latina, white, asian, and biracial, women in their videos--but do you see Latin Television with a bunch of Black women being depicted anywhere? We feel left out. This multicultural way of life does not try to include us at all. That is why so many Black women generally don't like it.
And when Black men do decide to date outside their races, it stems from nothing but negativity. It's never simply, *I was just attracted to a White Woman* reason, it's because of the negative and overly critical judgements they have against their own women. Which is why so many Black women are upset. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1108
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 03:43 pm: |
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Brownbeauty:
"And when Black men do decide to date outside their races, it stems from nothing but negativity. It's never simply, *I was just attracted to a White woman* reason, it's because of the negative and overly critical judgements they have against their own women. Which is why so many Black women are upset."
Moonsigns:
Brownbeauty, unless you talk in depth to each and every black man on planet earth that dates interracially, you can't (logically) make broad generalizations that their relationships with non-black women stem "from nothing but negativity." As each black man is their own person, their relationships will naturally reflect that. There are no absolutes.
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Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 145
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 04:18 pm: |
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Moonsigns,
Unfortunately, from my experiences Black guys who date outside their race do so because they view Black women as inferior. In college, numerous of occassions I've witnessed black guys say, "i'm going to white girls now. they know how to support a brother. unlike black women." This shows the lack of respect they have, considering they are in an atmosphere surrounded by black women. It shows how little they think of us, just to vocally express such a thing outloud.
There is a Black man who lives across the street from me, who is married to a White woman. My dad talks to him quite often, and he HATES black people and thinks negatively of them. That is why I feel most Black men who date outside their race do so because they feel inferior, and think White/nonblack women are more feminine, and prettier all around.
I'm not saying there aren't any Black men who date feel that way, but it's quite rare. And I haven't ran across any. |
Lil_ze
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Lil_ze
Post Number: 81
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 04:41 pm: |
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moonsign, good point. its very strange when people say, "black men", are doing such and such. brownbeauty you said "black men are starting to couple off and start families with women of different races". black men are doing this? ive said before the vast majority of black men marry black women. so to say that "black men" are strating to do this i don't think is really accurate. sure SOME black men marry women from other races but so do SOME white men. but to say "black men" is a sweeping generalization, that in my opinion is not true. i really don't see some sort of multi-cultural phenomenon taking place that excludes "black women". i just don't see this. different races have always marryed one another. sure their are a handful of black men that marry women of other races, but i think this has been blown WAY out of proportion. i think it sticks out in our minds when we see a black man with a white woman. or when we see a black woman with a white man. but the reality is without question, that most black men have always married, do marry, and will continue to marry black women. i don't see black women being "left out" of anything. i don't see some type of multi-racial movement that excludes black women. millions upon millions of black men marry black women. i don't see how black women are not being included. lets not gather our impressions about this topic from what we see on B.E.T. . or the "handful" of black men that we see with women of other races. most "black men" are with black women. the evidence points to the fact that there is no multi-cultural movement that excludes black women. i think these false ideas are put out there in an effort to divide us and make us distrustful of each other. but is there truth to it, i don't think so. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2324
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 06:47 pm: |
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I disagree with you somewhat, Brownbeauty.
"We feel left out. This multicultural way of life does not try to include us at all. That is why so many Black women generally don't like it."
I watched a white friend of mine get beaten severely by a group of black men outside of my apartment. I was afraid to bring him or any other white guy inside the neighborhood after that, so I didn't. Back then, ten years ago, that was the atmosphere; and fifteen years ago it was even worse. BLACK MEN DID NOT ALLOW BLACK WOMEN TO DATE WHITE MEN. Only in my old neighborhood did I feel safe dating white men - a neighborhood that was majority white. Now, with multiculturalism, things are changing for black women who choose to date white. The last time I was with a white guy - a friend not a date - we only got nasty looks by black men, which frightened him--but at least he wasn't assaulted. In that sense, I think this new "way" is good. Black women should not be prohibited from dating outside of their race--lord knows they should not. But at the same, I feel we will commit racial suicide, if we ALL adopt this new way.
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Grind
Newbie Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 8
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 07:12 pm: |
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"Back then, ten years ago, that was the atmosphere; and fifteen years ago it was even worse. BLACK MEN DID NOT ALLOW BLACK WOMEN TO DATE WHITE MEN."
Tonya,
Where was this? |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2325
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 07:18 pm: |
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Grind, I live in Philadelphia. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1110
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 07:50 pm: |
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Brownbeauty:
"Unfortunately, from my experiences Black guys who date outside their race do so because they view Black women as inferior."
Moonsigns:
You're right, your experience is unfortunate and I can't negate (at all) what you feel and have felt. But I'm glad that despite what you've experienced you continue to acknowledge that there are Black men who do date/marry interracially who DON'T view Black women as inferior. And I hope you will also consider that, while there are white women who will date/marry Black men who harbor such prejudices, there are white women who won't even entertain the thought of having a significant other who disrespects women of his "race". I know I would never consider even dating--or marrying for that matter--a Black man as you described.
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 421
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:43 pm: |
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Notice Va_sis how you put undue emphasis on skin color. Telling us about your light-skinned niece and your dark-skinned son. As if a person's skin color determines what type of person they will be. |
Brownbeauty123
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 146
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 10:50 pm: |
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Tonya, I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I've never had any White male friends--just work associates and they keep it like that.
When I was 18, I had one white boy who I used to always associate with and kid around..we were talking about relationships and then out of nowhere he expressed how he always wanted to know what it was like to get 'head' from a black girl. At the time I was a virgin, and damn sure never gave head before, I remained quiet. and didn't know how to take that comment. After that, I kinda distanced myself from him, and wondered if all white guys felt that way. Now that I'm older, I knew what he meant, he just wanted to use me for his sexual pleasure. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 423
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 11:05 pm: |
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I'll also bet Va_sis that you are one of those mothers who probably encourages her son to only truly make friends with the non-black children. And tells him to keep away from the dark-skinned black children(especially the girls). |
Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 270
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, April 20, 2006 - 11:59 pm: |
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Va_sis
Notice how you make excuses for your colorstruck son.
Notice how you demonize black girls and make them out to be villains---these wombbearers and mothers of our race----and you post your bullshit refrains about your GOOD dark son and how he's been wronged as a PRE-teen...a fucking PRE-teen....and now you come in here like the TYPICAL weak Black American plantation bitch....making every goddamned excuse why only MIXED/WHITE girls are "good enough" for your child and how it's not that he's the sorry colorstruck bastard that you raised up....he's just HURT.
You're nothing but TRADITIONAL Virginia nigger trash--the very type of two faced women mentioned in the first post----and SO IS YOUR SON.
I'm so glad that my sons will be AUTHENTIC BLACK MEN and will have the courage and self-respect and LOVE for their own people....to give birth to their own image.
And not the white man's."
Oh, no, KB's been hittin' the bottle again. I kept wondering when America's favorite nutjob would come roaring back. |
Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 271
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 12:04 am: |
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"I wish I was face-to-face with every single last one of you, especially you Kola.
No you don't, BAMA WHY--N--CH.
You really don't.
Them's fighting words.
And I would whoop your motherfuck'n MEDIOCRE country colorstruck ASSSS....and put 12 KNOTS upside your wig hooks.....
...just for the fact that you look at little black girls (they outnumber your son 3 to 1)
...AND SEE YOURSELF in those innocent little girls....and therefore, you don't like little
ASHY, Notty-haired, fast ass black girls--because they remind you of yourself.
They're not good enough for that smug bastard you raised up to think he's better than his own goddamned ANCESTORS--because it's 2006 and he can stick his dick in a dirty White Bitch.
But all these ugly plump and goofey ass WHITE and biracial BASTARD STOCK little girls--the kinds that let black boys RUN TRAINS on them in garages and think they're better than little black girls, because black women LIKE YOU confirm it----you BEND OVER backwards, like a typcical yard nigger, to welcome those WHITE CAUCASOID SKANKS into the family.
And we all know why.
I wouldn't give a fuck if everybody on this goddamned board ganged up, chartered a bus and CAME WITH YOU to my front door to try and stick their foot up my ass
------it would not change who and WHAT you are.
You can talk in circles for the rest of your son's goddamned life....and you're still just a typical self-hating, keep'n up with the Joneses Black American Plantation NIGGER BITCH (or in case you're African....African Colonialist Pogo Auntie Sadie Bitch) making EXCUSES for both your son and YOURSELF."
As you can see, the motherfucker has absolutely no shame. But of course most crackheads don't, anyway, so what's new? |
Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 272
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 12:11 am: |
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"And as far as Black American children being in BIG TROUBLE...
...that's because they have sorry ass women like you for mothers."
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF, GIRLFRIEND. |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 42
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:13 am: |
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Tonya, I too, am sorry that you had to go through that horrible experience. I would hate to live somewhere that my actions and patterns are being "dictated" by others....meaning, you felt that you couldn't be free to invite anyone you wished to your home without repercussion from those guys.
Trying to address seeing more dark girl imagery in art & media:
The only real solution that I can think of is to empower our kids to be the decision makers and creators of what we speak of. I'm currently on a team to develop a career day series at a high school in a neighboring city. I'm REALLY pushing to offer a true broad spectrum of careers!
For example, if our girls (and boys) learn that they can become talent agents for modeling agencies, they will likely recruit models that reflect their own image. They can become art directors at ad agencies, and they will seek out talent agents (see where I'm going with this) that will, in turn, produce more ads & commercials that show Blacks in the myriad of colors that we are...but on a darker spectrum.
As far as art, do you mean visual or performing? I'm not sure if there are MANY, but I know of some black artists that depict very positive imagery of black relationships & family...such as WAK.
I'm personally not a fan of his, because as an artist myself, I'm drawn more to creative expression than depiction (watch how folks twist that one). Don't get me wrong, WAK is VERY talented, but not as creative as I'd like. I like the works of C'Babi Bayoc, Charles Bibbs, Thierry Le Goues (I have almost his entire SOUL series on my walls). All of them focus on black subjects, but their creative interpretations blow me away.
Now, thousands of our kids are talented, creative artists. But we should empower them to be able to take their works to the next level. Become art directors at an agency. Enable them to be featured as a "one man show" at a gallery...better yet, OWN their own gallery.
See what I mean by dreaming big? |
Va_sis
Regular Poster
Username: Va_sis
Post Number: 43
Registered: 02-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 09:27 am: |
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SerenaSailor,
"Notice Va_sis how you put undue emphasis on skin color. Telling us about your light-skinned niece and your dark-skinned son. As if a person's skin color determines what type of person they will be."
See what I mean? I don't have a light-skinned neice, AfroErotic does! And my post was in response to something she said.
"I'll also bet Va_sis that you are one of those mothers who probably encourages her son to only truly make friends with the non-black children."
He makes friends with guys, girls; blacks, whites, asians, latinos; jocks, nerds, goths, preps; athletes, musicians, thespians; He befriends people based on their character and interests.
And I wouldn't change a thing.
Do I REALLY need to add the fact the majority of them ARE black????
I hope you're not as ignorant as you sound. And I'm not going to ask you any questions to determine if you are or not. I don't care.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2329
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 03:10 pm: |
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Wonderful post Va_sis. You have some pretty good ideas.
Beauty,
When I was 18, I had one white boy who I used to always associate with and kid around..we were talking about relationships and then out of nowhere he expressed how he always wanted to know what it "was like to get 'head' from a black girl. At the time I was a virgin, and damn sure never gave head before, I remained quiet. and didn't know how to take that comment. After that, I kinda distanced myself from him, and wondered if all white guys felt that way. Now that I'm older, I knew what he meant, he just wanted to use me for his sexual pleasure----Beauty
LMBAO!!! That's funny. I've been with several whites guys; several Blacks, Asian, Hispanic, the nine yards, and I've yet to give "head." I can tell you that it's overrated, though. Either that, or I just haven't met the one that can do it right. LOL. Anyhoo, don't believe the hype. Not all white guys are out to use black women. I'd even bank that the majority are not. |
Grind
Newbie Poster
Username: Grind
Post Number: 9
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 08:01 pm: |
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"Notice Va_sis how you put undue emphasis on skin color."
Not any more than most people here. |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1112
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, April 21, 2006 - 08:18 pm: |
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Tonya:
"Anyhoo, don't believe the hype. Not all white guys are out to use black women. I'd even bank that the majority are not."
Moonsigns:
I agree. I know plenty of white men that date black women, some even married, and they treat their significant others with incredible respect and love. One of my siblings dated a couple women who are black, one woman he even considered serious marriage material. He, naturally, was incredibly good to her and vice versa. My family loved her! I actually wished he had married her--she would have been the best sister-in-law and mother to their children (if they had married).
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Afroerotik
Regular Poster
Username: Afroerotik
Post Number: 48
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 12:08 pm: |
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Awww hell nah. The vast majority of white men aren't interested in using black women?!?!?! If you think for one tiny second that white men see us as equals I'd suggest you not take a vacation to Raliegh/Durham. That's just ignorance on a level beyond my comprehension. |
Fortified
Newbie Poster
Username: Fortified
Post Number: 2
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, April 22, 2006 - 09:03 pm: |
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Gotta love the double standard. I was once out on a date with a white guy and I got dirty looks from a black man who was with a white woman!!! LOL! Too damn funny.
I wished we, as black women, got over this colorism bullshit. We are the most genetically diverse women on earth. We have variety, spice, beauty, soul, the third eye, strength, endurance. The only people who don't fucking get this are US!!!!
Maybe if black women realize this, embraced it, understood it and didn't give a hot buttered fuck what others thought of it, then eventually others will realize it too! |
Stephgirl
Regular Poster
Username: Stephgirl
Post Number: 49
Registered: 09-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, April 25, 2006 - 12:31 pm: |
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Hello Kola,
You ain't never lied! Keep up the good work and don't let the haters grind you down.
Stephanie |
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