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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 355
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 04:51 pm: | 
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I was sitting in my English class the other day and we got into a discussion about racism. Well, this White(Armenian) kid said that he liked black girls very much, and he would marry one but the problem was that they only wanted to date and marry black men. He thought this was wrong and as a result thought that black ppl were very racist because of this.
I was wondering with all of these black men dating non-black women and making it very clear that they hate black women should black women keep there devotion to black men? |
Enchanted
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 99
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 04:59 pm: |
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I don't believe that black men hate black women at all. I have seen nothing but love shown to black women my entire life by black men. My father, my uncles, my grandparents and my own first husband. I am in a wonderful relationship with a black man right now, so are my dark skinned sisters and cousins, we all have great black men. You are not speaking for all of us.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2073
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:38 pm: |
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I think part of it, Serenasailor, is that black women give birth to black men. We nurture them, even when they're grown, and we are a culture that HAD TO protect its men. But I think it's time to do exactly as Kola prescribes: "Give birth to a new son." As for IR dating, I think we will begin to see future generations of black women more open to it... and I don't blame them.
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 358
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 5 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:38 pm: |
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No I am not speaking for you. But I am speaking for the thousands of other black men like my brother, and his Colorstruck marriage. And for the thousands of other black women who have to endure the pain of being single mothers, and watching eliglible black men date/marry non-black women for no other reason than the fact that they hate black women. That is who I am speaking for! |
Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1028
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:40 pm: |
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Enchanted:
"You are not speaking for all of us."
Moonsigns:
Thank you for writing that, Enchanted--it's refreshing!
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Moonsigns
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Moonsigns
Post Number: 1029
Registered: 07-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:41 pm: |
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and true! |
Enchanted
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 103
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:43 pm: |
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Hi Moonsigns!  I often feel that what you write is refreshing and true. The only reason they try to ignore you is because you're white. I personally think we could learn a lot from you.
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Enchanted
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Enchanted
Post Number: 104
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:46 pm: |
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Tonya, Kola Boof also prescribes that we kill off the black man. She is saying that evil mess on interviews. Do you agree with that as well?
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 361
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 05:56 pm: |
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Enchanted no one is suggesting that anyone kill off anyone literally. What Kola is saying is that black women need to start raising strong proud black men. Not these drug dealing, baby abandoning, want to bed every white woman we see niggers. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 362
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 06:00 pm: |
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And eventually the niggers will die off on there own. They will either kill themselves or get lynched by the white man. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2075
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 06:27 pm: |
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Enchanted, I think that's your problem too--that you take Kola too literally. When I first saw her writing style, I knew people would do that--but you gotta understand--Kola writes/speaks in a native tongue, which I find poetic, but I understand you gotta watch for what she says. The only reason I knew not to take certain things literally is because I have family from the deep south and some of their traditions are still African.
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Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 227
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 09:19 pm: |
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Serenasailor
i'm not trying to be a ball buster or anything, but what is up with you and your attitude towards your brother and his relationship? did the girl do something that was disrespectful to you or something, and if you will, explain to me what a nigger is to you. seriously i'm trying to see where your coming from with all this. |
Shemika
Newbie Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 25
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 12:19 am: |
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Most of my experiences with black men have been pretty negative, growing up and in adulthood. When I hear them hatefully speaking against black women like a member of the KKK it disgusts me. However, I’ve seen enough good fruits from men like Malcolm X to have faith in the possibilities.
Despite their contempt for black women in particular, I wish those black men who do care could get together to turn this around instead of having to date outside our race. I think dating and marrying outside our race is to commit genetic and psychological suicide.
Hopefully, the culturally induced illusion of how attractive whites are supposed to be compared to blacks should fade around 30 or so (along with any looks) and they can be seen for what they are. They are (overall) hateful, self interested people who will teach their interracial offspring to become a new race of semi-whites who look down on darker blacks. And who will assist whites in the creation of an even larger scale color caste system. Of course, I’m not saying they all do so intentionally, but they are socialized to see it as the norm as are most of us.
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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 368
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 06:36 pm: |
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Doberman, I am have nothing against my brother. What I am angry about is his hatred of black women, and culture. He is a colorist of the worst kind. Also, I am surprised at him when we were growing up I always thought that he was a proud black man. I guess I am just a little dissappointed. I always looked up to him, until he told me how he felt about black women. I was saddened. |
Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 229
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 09:32 pm: |
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but it seems like you have something against your sister in law. i'm sure your brother doesn't hate your mom who I assume is a black woman, and your grandmother and all the rest of your female family members. i am still trying to see where your definition of nigger comes into play too.
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Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 230
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 10:25 pm: |
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are black women really devoted to the right black men? i don't know how it was for everyone growing up, but i have had the opportunity to talk to many of different brothers from all over when i was in the army and in college, and alot of them have had the same story when it comes to their treatment. one there are too many young ladies blowing off the wrong guys, it happens with every race, but it seems to me that black women simply can't afford to make that mistake. i've heard it time and time again how these sistahs would holla at these dope boys, athletes, and guys they knew where playas and found themselves alone in the end.... i seen that happen time and time again, i have a bunch of cousins who are "devoted" to idiots who are rotting away in jail, forcing them to raise kids on their own (and they where warned about their punk ass boyfirends prior to their forseen situation). you can't tell me that i'm the only one seeing this.
secondly (and i know some of you will hate on me for this) there is a difference from how a black man is treated by a woman from another country or race in comparisson to how american black women treat them. before you go on the defense about that comment ask a few black guys who have dated outside the lines and see what they have to say.
anyways i believe that it's a two way street and not just a one sided thing, i know that there are stats and info out there that can technically prove me wrong ... but sometimes it's the intangibles that they miss. |
Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 30
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 11:59 pm: |
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Black men in the military are the worst. They get played overseas by those women looking to marry so they can come to America. Then they go around telling these ridiculous tales about how much better these other women are treating them. What a crock, if anything they treat those women better then they ever have a black woman and everyone knows it. People also see right through their cowardly attempts to blame victimized black women for the actions of womanizing black men, who have all types of images, backgrounds and circumstances. Only the more they have going for themselves the least likely they are to be interested in a black female, unless she’s borderline white.
I know of plenty of cases in which the women from overseas dumped them soon after coming here and one case where a man posing as the woman's brother turned out to be her husband, working together against his behind. Black men crack me up trying to uphold their delusions of grandeur in the eyes of outsiders
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Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 231
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 - 08:21 am: |
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never the less shemika, black men in the military get played by black women all the same, i know of more than a couple instances where they have been set up by black women who have had them killed for the insurance. being married while in the military is not a good idea, i didn't even consider it an option, your right about one thing alot of the guys are womanizers but there wives aren't exactly innocent either. most brothers in the military try to date black women when there stationed state side, it's not until you get stationed outside the u.s. where they end up dating women from other countries. it's not cowardly, it's what people do when they are around other people for a significant amount of time. if that didn't happen then there wouldn't be so many office romances/flings.
but that's neither here nor there, you stated that "Despite their contempt for black women in particular, I wish those black men who do care could get together to turn this around instead of having to date outside our race." you have a valid concern, and what i'm saying is that black women can't afford to leave the starting blocks making the wrong decisions when choosing black men. there has got to be some reason why so many black men decide to marry other than black women and it's not just because "they hate themselves" " they hate black women" "because there weak" or because "they can't handle a real sistah" ... i don't know every reasoning behind their choices but i don't think they all started out with only the attraction to other types of women. to downgrade black women to uplift another race of women is wrong, as it is vice versa ... i think this will eventually turn anround, but the level of devotion of black women isn't too much it's just too much of it spent on the wrong black men.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2100
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 - 09:51 am: |
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Kill the bitch and "give birth to a new son!!!" |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 377
Registered: 01-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Wednesday, March 15, 2006 - 08:25 pm: |
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Doberman I know my brother does not hate my mother. But in essence he does. When he demeans black women, and tells them that they are not good enough he does that. Then again who knows he might just hate my mother and my sister. He did not want to produce daughters that looked like them. |
Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 31
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 12:07 am: |
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Doberman23,
Haven spent a few years in the military myself, and been stationed both stateside and abroad, I know for a fact that black men in the military favor non blacks regardless where they are stationed at. The major complaint by sistahs in the military was how black men stampeded past them to get to a white female, regardless what she looked like, and were proud to do so. And if they did grace a sistah with their presence the first thing out of their mouth would be something like, “I don’t have to be with you, I COULD be with a white woman.” As if to say, “I’m doing you a favor, and you better recognize and kiss my behind because I’m gonna walk all over you.” Black women are still human beings and deserve to be treated with respect rather than walked on because they are at a social disadvantage. Really, the only men interested in black women were white men and foreigners looking for sex.
And if you believe the stories told you by black men about how awful a black woman treated him you are just as gullible as a mistress.
You also need to get off that thug thing, it’s really lame and appears to be the only excuse you guys have to try and hang over black women’s head to justify being traitors. You know full well you will have a far easier time finding decent, interested black females then they have meeting decent black men actually available and interested in them. So there’s really no excuse for black men to go outside the race.
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Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 242
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 11:52 am: |
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Shemika, that is not necessarily true. I've seen what Doberman is talking about with my own eyes. I am not a thug/jock/pimp/player, but unfortunately a lot of young black American women--in fact, the majority of them--seem to gravitate towards these types. For the past twenty years I have had a lot of difficulties in dealing with black American women. Most of them don't give a shit about a guy who uses his brain in any capacity, because honestly, they are hung up on a lot of MTV fantasies(like all the other American girls). And with white women, FYI, it is exactly the same. They get hooked up with some thug or tough guy because they think it's exciting, and are always wondering why these men either beat them up or abandon them. Seriously, I doubt the intelligence of a lot of these women when they persistently refuse to ignore the warning signs. Or, again, maybe it's just a case of blind love, since American women love their jocks/thugs/assholes. |
Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 233
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 01:07 pm: |
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shemika
i don't know where you where stationed but, i know damn well that in ft. hood texas, that men out numbered women 4 to 1 ... black, white, or brown ... ugly, fat, or bitchy these women always had men chasing after them (may have been just for a piece of ass) but i never saw a woman going solo around there, that goes for fort polk and seal too.... maybe ft.lee was different because the tables where turned. but if you flew solo while u where in the military then it was something with you that was not only turning the brothers off but all men in general.
personally i took that attitude of "i don't have to be with you" towards all military women (they where all below average but do to the situation they went from 3's to 9)... i did quite alright taking my ass to 6th street and dating UofT women and the senoiritas. nobody said that black women are supposed to be treated anything less than equal, but at the same time your trying to make it seem as though all black women are angels and spewing the "oh poor me" role. like i said before, these other women from other countries and races are doing somethin' instead of saying that all these black men are fucked up, maybe you should see how things go down before you give your expert analysis... and the thug thing, call it a lame excuse, call it what you will, fuck it ... i made it all up, it doesn't happen and all those brothers who are locked-up are all single and don't have any kids, black women always get their child support money from their baby daddy, once again... what am i thinking, they don't need child support money because they choose the guy who's not going to screw them over and they don't have baby daddies they have husbands ... my imagination gets the best of me sometimes. I will still tell my nieces or if i have daughters .... that they can't afford to make mistakes when choosing a mate ... however u tell your story how you like to. "You know full well you will have a far easier time finding decent, interested black females then they have meeting decent black men actually available and interested in them." your probably right, but i'm willing to bet that these descent black women let "the one" get away somewhere along the lines. you know what's really funny these same brothers who aren't good enough for some of ya'll are the ones that your complaining about in the first place ... so why would you even give a shit, you weren't gonna talk to him anyways ... unless you where flat out desperate.
guess i'm as gullible as a mistress too, because i believe my white friends when they tell me how some of them where treated like shit by white women ... it happens to alot of people ... how a person gets over their heartbreak is up to them.
"So there’s really no excuse for black men to go outside the race." who needs an excuse, to get with anybody? some of ya'll are always gonna have something to say regardless of who someone is with. when i first started dating my girl, i can't even count how many sarcastic and demeaning comments i heard about african women made by american black women, so what's it really all about?
both black men and women need to step up their level of respect towards one another and maybe the mutual attraction and love can go back to the way it used to be. if not then ... guess who's coming to dinner 2010 will be the norm.
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Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 34
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 09:19 pm: |
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Doberman23: I was never stationed at Ft. Hood although I heard what you are saying was the case. Nevertheless, guys, using black women for sex to hold you over until you can trade them in hardly counts as the equivalent of interested men in their lives. I went in the military in hopes of finding a good man, but was dismayed to find they were either grossly color struck or freaks I certainly would not want to settle down with.
In my experience with men telling me sob stories about how poorly their woman treated them, I later find out they conveniently left out important facts like them being abusive cheaters who refused to contribute to household expenses.
You’re right about the way black women try to one up each other based upon things like who’s the lightest, prettiest, and where they come from. Very sad, no different from black man vs. black women. These are endless divisions that keep our people from progressing.
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Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 35
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Thursday, March 16, 2006 - 09:29 pm: |
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Schakspir: As for the thug thing, if you’ve had that problem for twenty years what age are the girls . . . I mean, women you are going after. Most young females, like everyone else tend to be taken in by the images they see on TV, but many grow out of it by their mid twenties. We all know men are caught up in those TV and porn fantasies about what females should look like, yet they NEVER grow out of it. That’s why they chase 20 year olds and/or light skinned women all their lives.
I say most of those young women are responding to what they see around them, and rightfully so. They watch their aunts and mothers being devoted to these men who after cheating and neglecting them for years abandon them and their children for a younger model. So they know these men are only after them for their looks or youth. And they know neither of these last forever, and there’s always someone prettier. So they give men like that exactly what they deserve, nothing. Or they figure, why not go after the man of my fantasies while I’m still young too?
That also ties in with the whole gold digger theme. Why call a woman a gold digger then complain when she ends up with a man who refuses to take care of her or her kids. How else is she going to gage if he’ll be willing to take care of her family long term unless she finds out if he feels she’s worth spending money on now. I say you can tell where a man’s heart is by what he spends his money on.
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Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 242
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 02:19 am: |
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shemika says: Why call a woman a gold digger then complain when she ends up with a man who refuses to take care of her or her kids. How else is she going to gage if he’ll be willing to take care of her family long term unless she finds out if he feels she’s worth spending money on now. I say you can tell where a man’s heart is by what he spends his money on.
Doberman says:
ahhhh the highest bidder mentality, that eventually turns into the bitter old and alone woman mentality. that is why women get traded-up on all the time, because they settled for being someones posession instead of finding there equals.
most men aren't settled into their carrers until they are 28 -32 years old. which brings me to my first statement "black girls set the stage on how black boys are gonna' act, this thug thing isn't anything new ... we all know that women from all other ethnicities have a "thing" for bad boys ... and what i am saying is, unlike these other groups, they don't find themselves locked up as quickly as young black males. believe it or not there are some of these young fellas who think that they have to go out there and do dumb shit just to get some love from the girls, by the time that they realize that they where being stupid it's too late... you know for a fact that girls who are young, like older guys who are more than willing to take advantage of there naive little asses ... this happens with young women all the time of every race ... but black girls can't afford to make those mistakes! when your starting off from behind ... you simply don't have that luxury of fucking around, and yes those young black males who see this and see other opportunities for choosing a mate remember that shit, some stay pissed off for life from the snubb and some went on to sample other flavors. this isn't what has happened in every case, but i know that it happens often, in every state, in every hood.
if you went into the military looking for a guy, your nuttier than a bag of elephant shit. you know damn well if the army wanted you to be married they would have issued you a mate.
everybody edits there story when there trying to get there mack on, you know how many stories i've heard from women along the way ... they are always the victim and come to find out, i could see why they where dumped. as far as the household expenses and stuff like that, i don't know about that sort of stuff, i wouldn't even consider letting a chick shack up with me or date any with kids, and half of the fights women get into with their men aren't just because he had a bad day at the office. *note that i don't condone beating up on women, but i also wont take an ass whoppin either* |
Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 36
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 4 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 03:20 pm: |
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Doberman23, why do you keep boasting about how black girls can’t afford to make the mistake of liking thugs or older men who take advantage of them? That’s the real problem, you keep referring to black men’s pursuits of little girls that they should be playing parental or big brother roles to rather than taking advantage of their ‘naivety’. It is never manly for grown men to take advantage of a girl's youth and then hold them accountable. The real problem is such cradle robbing grown men are too superficial and immature to pursue woman their own age. They are the same ones who have already left behind several women and children to boot now claiming they are some wonderful catch to the next generation. Not only do they complain when these young girls reject them, they also complain after they finish using them. Boasting about how they don’t want anyone with kids and looking to start over and abandon yet another woman. They’re not even talking about grown women when they refer to these thug lovers, they are often talking about very young women or even teens, who are likely still trying to recover from haven been molested by some fiend due to no fault of their own. A lot of these complainers are the same ones doing the abusing. Yet, when it comes to the faults of men, it’s always, “boys will be boys”, even into old age. I’m so sick of that.
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Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 243
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 06:45 pm: |
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Yes, that's right; the girls are always innocent while the guys are almost always guilty. |
Brownbeauty123
Newbie Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 17
Registered: 03-2006
Rating:
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 07:36 pm: |
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Well, I'm 21/black female..so I don't know if my opinion will matter much at this age..
I love Black men by the way, and will not let past experiences spoil the opportunity of finding a soul mate. Maybe it's because I'm still young and life has not jaded me yet
Ever since I was 18, Black guys have told me that I acted too "classy" did not speak enough slang, was not "rowdy" enough, and that they preferred "hoodrats".
::shrugs:: There have been times when they did not like that I spoke with proper English. And if I happen to say a word that they've never used or didn't know the definition of I was simply trying to be stuck up and "white". Or a "smart ass".
I've even been mocked because I enjoy watching the History channel, (one Black guy said I was the only black girl in the whole state who watched that network) love googling information about Egypt and the pyramids, as well as other ancient history.
Now I am far from one of those black girls who try to act "white" or who does TRUST me...
I was raised in a predominantly black neighborhood, (a mixture of lower/middle class), went to the most "ghetto" and poorly funded high schools. When ppl find out that I attended this school, the reaction is never positive, cause it has such a bad reputation.
All my friends were Black. My closest best friends are always the complete opposite of me (I'm shy, quiet, like to read), while they are loud, troublemakers, and like action. I'm usually the one who tries to reason with them.
I love new and ol' school R&B/Soul, some Hip Hop, and even like a few alternative music by white artists. It's funny cause the White artists that I do like--I often find out that their sound was largely/partly inspired from Black artists.
The point is that I never understood why Black guys would try to label me as a "white girl" or asking me if I'm from the suburbs. They just can't believe that I'm from the inner city. I don't even have a "white accent" (which I loathe on a Black person it sounds so contrived.) I'm just a young Black woman with some damn sense--and trying to get more.
I do not have any issues with hating my black heritage at all. (Although, I did go through a phase where I did not like my skin color--but got over it. Everyone had insecurities as a teen.) Never loathed having nappy hair--never understood the fascination with "good hair" at all. At least it never consumed my life the way it did some other Black girls. Especially since Black women have so many options to choose from as far as hairstyles. Some of the most sought after Black women in Hollywood don't have "good hair"--even some Mulattos don't. ::shrugs::
Cannot stand Black girls who aspire to be white, or admire and idolize whiteness. Had a friend who hated being black--at first I just thought she was depressed and was using her 'blackness' as a mask to cover up what was really bothering her--I symphathized and consoled her. Four years after high school, the shit got really PATHETIC and would BRING me down. She was constantly harping about how she was so 'black" and and her hair was so short and nappy. I don't want to be friends with somebody who not only thinks she is ugly, but Blackness too. It was offensive. And nothing I told her really helped. So after awhile, I slowly stopped speaking to her. Her spirit was killing my soul.
I'm just going to speak for myself and say that I for one, do not want a thug. I live in an urban area with my parents and see thugs/drug dealers on a DAILY basis, while I'm pumping gas at the gas station before I go to work or school. I know the lifestyle, and alot of them are no Malcolm Xs with potential. They usually lack basic intellect, seem slow, and are morally corrupt. They act like Neandethalls. Which is why I'm always so perplexed to find out that women actually date, have sex with, and procreate with these men. They're a joke to me
From my experience the females who date thugs/deadbeats come from families where this is considered normal and acceptable. What I mean is that, their families do not look down on men who sell drugs, and rob liquor stores--they defend this type of behavior because they benefit from it in a way. It's not like on Good Times where the mother completely detests the behavior--she welcomes it. They have brothers, uncles, male cousions, male friends, who are deadbeats too--so when they bring the boyfriend home (deadbeat, thug)they fit right in--the missing piece to the family puzzle. Y'know, it's like one big family until shit start hitting the fan.(the boyfriend does something wrong)
That's why I use to always wonder why some girls choose these kind of men--all you have to do is take a look at thier family. You will say no more.
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Brownbeauty123
Newbie Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 18
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 07:56 pm: |
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I'd also like to comment on grownmen/young girls..
I probably sound like a man when I say this but...
Times are not what they used to be. Young girls today are very sexually agressive, and so badly *want* to pursue older men--they choose to. And don't regret it either. Most black (female)teens don't even LOOK thier age anymore--not because they dress years ahead of themselves & wear too much weave and makeup--but because they simply just LOOK it. No makeup, simple hairdo, casual dress code, and you'd think they're 25 years old. Is it the diet now?
My point...not only do they not look their age but they lie about it too. And yes, guys should ask for ID (but that doesn't happen too often,never had a guy I dated card me). These girls have a lot of freedom, too much freedom, some don't even live with *parents*. So that's why its so easy for them to lie about being legal for so long. The guys usually end up facing consequences once they get them knocked up--that's when aunts and uncles, and mommas want to come out and press charges.
the age gap has to be significant for me to hold the 'older' guy accountable. Like say 13...and 35 or some absurd mess like that.
But 15/f...and 19/m??? or 16/f...and 21/m, 17/f..and 26/m..
Why should it *just* be the guys fault if the sex was consensual? The girl agreed to it, and probably enjoyed the entire sexual experience. And besides, kids the same age are having sex with each *other* anyways...so it doesn't even take a older guy to lure a girl into sexual intimacy cause they're doing it regardless.
I can understand if it was highly unusual in our society for a young girl to be sexuality active in her teens, and then to find out it was some older guy who pressured her into it--okay blame him.
But that's not always the case. These girls are just making poor judgement and are simply suffering the consequences. |
Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 37
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 09:12 pm: |
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It’s true that a lot of young girls are sexually active during their teens, but I think it may often be related to so many children being sexually exploited at an early age by adults. Once they become active, whether molested or not, they usually continue the practice. Sex is meant to be pleasurable, but it has a proper place, otherwise it can easily lead to just as much pain, not only emotionally but in many other ways a young person is not equipped to deal with, i.e. disease, pregnancy among others. Once an adult introduces a youth to sex that person is likely to influence their peers to do the same so the consequences to early sexual activity among a few potentially affect many.
Adult males must be held accountable as they are well aware that such girls are acting sexually aggressive due to immaturity, thinking its cool, prior exploitation, or they’re just plain looking for affection many often don’t get these days. Regardless the reason, they should not take advantage of it. Like you said, many don’t even have parents, and even more don’t have fathers. And it is supposed to be the men’s job to protect the virtue of young girls. Single mothers certainly can’t do it all alone, that’s why men in the society need to step up to the plate and treat these fatherless children as if they are their own.
If men are running amok acting like juveniles this problem only escalates. And to permit a man like this to walk away irresponsibility after sexing a minor or impregnating any female is to allow him to be less than a man. I’m saddened at how juvenile, immature and effeminate men increasingly become each passing year.
Yeah, children are looking bigger these days. Did you see those 300-1b four year olds on TV? I heard a lot of it is because of the diet. One example is that they feed chickens hormones like estrogen to make them plumper and that causes children to develop quicker. Estrogen also erodes masculinity. There was a story once about hormones or something in hair grease that was affecting children. Anyway, there’s so much out there these days there’s no telling.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2104
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 09:30 pm: |
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LOL, Brownbeauty123, you're VERY bright/observant for your age--I'm sure your parents are proud. You see alot. With time--when you begin to understand what you see, ie, why the things you see are that way--you will become a major contributor to American society, I predict.
Shemika, girl, you are right on the money!! Couldn't agree more.
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Brownbeauty123
Newbie Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 19
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 09:45 pm: |
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I, in no way *encourage* relationships between older men, and younger girls...
but in society I see that so many older men are the ones who soley are held to blame. The younger girls should be taught a lesson as well; the GIRLS should understand that it is THEM who are responsible for their body. they need to suffer the consequences.
these girls are NOT being raped, or molested...but consenting to sex. In this circumstance, they actually have control over their destiny. Parents/society treat them as if they're *powerless*, and that it's all the big bad older man's fault. The adult males who are unfortunately benefitting off of promiscuous young girls are the enemy--they are morally corrupt--but WE society/parents have to teach young girls from engaging in men like that. That they need to use better judgement--usually by them time the secret is out to press charges they're in *love* and she is pregnant by this loser. That's not going to help any. That's why I say it starts with the *girl*.
And things are getting really weird in society as far as kids being mind manipulated by adults.
Did you see Oprah, where this one kid got described as being *molested* over the computer?
He had a web cam, and used to chat online with anonymous users who he called *friends*. It started off innocently, by one of his male friends asking him to take a picture of him with his top off. In return he'd get like $50 through a paypal account. The kid was like sure, why not.
Soon, it turned into a porn. Where the kid would do sexual favors for his friends (masturbating) on the web cam and he'd get crazy money for it. Eventually, he had a website with just him doing all kinds of illicit sexual acts.
One of his friends told him that he'd pay his fare out to Vegas so they can meet. Lied, told his mom he was going to a computer convention, hopped on the plane to Vegas where he *first* got molested.
The story got even more bogus from there.
But my point is how do you deal with a situation like this? This is a very unusual case of molestation, where the *kid* actually had more power. After all, he could have just turned off the computer--but he consciously made the decision to let things get out of hand. Or did he not? Is it the *stangers* fault?
This is totally weird. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1878
Registered: 02-2005
Rating:
Votes: 5 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 10:02 pm: |
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Hi all.
Shemika, I gave you 5 stars.
And I reiterate that the two men who have posted here, Doberman and Schakspir, are men who hate women anyway.
These are the exact type of men who exploit, lie on, denigrate and have very SHALLOW uses for women in the first place.
They LOVE "an ass", "her hair"...."fucking her pussy"...the fact that she's not very black (in both their cases)....the fact that other men think she's cute...
that kinda SURFACE shit is what they LOVE, not the woman
which is why RELATIONSHIPS with "these types" of men, which is the majority---doesn't last or bear healthy fruit.
Schakspir already listed his "10 fantasy women" (I think 2 were black)---so he's a prime candidate for the type of PRO-Black shouting N-Zombie who
....USES insecure black women for sex, in lieu of "tagging" his Prized Melanin-deficient "Bitch".
How anyone could read their posts and not "peep" the content of their characters is beyond intelligence.
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Yvettep
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Yvettep
Post Number: 972
Registered: 01-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 10:14 pm: |
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I haven't been closely following this thread, so 'scuze me if I'm repeating or off track, but--
Single women: Keep on keepin' on, sisters. I'm a 40-something Black woman (neither light nor dark, since I know that is an issue for some) who did not get married until my late 20s, didn't have kids until mid 30s. If you want a "good Black man" have faith that he is out there. And do not overlook men from your past that you may not have thought of "that way."
My husband was someone I was just friends with as a kid, who I remet years later, and...wham! And when we remet I had made major changes in my life: moved halfway across the country, moved into my own apartment, went back to school... |
Brownbeauty123
Newbie Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 20
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 17, 2006 - 10:32 pm: |
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Thanks for the appreciation Tonya!
Yvettep--
Wonderful words of wisdom.
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Shemika
Regular Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 38
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 18, 2006 - 08:31 pm: |
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Thanks very much Kola and Tonya.
Kola you know you are right! |
Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 244
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 08:50 am: |
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"These girls are just making poor judgement and are simply suffering the consequences. "
"If you want a "good Black man" have faith that he is out there."
yvette p and brownbeauty thank you for proving me right.
shemika boasting is bragging, saying that black GIRLS can't afford to make mistakes is a cautionary statement those are two different things. smart intelligent black WOMEN don't try to settle for just anybody they get their own and then look for equal value when choosing a mate, so my statement doesn't apply to them because they are the ones helping out the all the others who fucked up along the way.
kola you can say what ever you want it's always gonna be twisted away from the truth... there's no denying the fact that i can be a real dick when it comes to reality i'll give you that, if you fuck up i don't want to clean up your mess ... i don't feel sorry for most adults ... the kids are another story it's not their fault.
and if any of you disagree with my statement about young black girls and mistakes.... dont ever complain about how white women, latinas, asains, etc ... have it easier than black women again because what your telling me is that all women are treated equally and that when they do make the same mistakes as black girls the uphill climb is exactly the same. |
Schakspir
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Schakspir
Post Number: 244
Registered: 12-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 21, 2006 - 11:19 am: |
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"Hi all.
Shemika, I gave you 5 stars.
And I reiterate that the two men who have posted here, Doberman and Schakspir, are men who hate women anyway.
These are the exact type of men who exploit, lie on, denigrate and have very SHALLOW uses for women in the first place.
They LOVE "an ass", "her hair"...."fucking her pussy"...the fact that she's not very black (in both their cases)....the fact that other men think she's cute...
that kinda SURFACE shit is what they LOVE, not the woman
which is why RELATIONSHIPS with "these types" of men, which is the majority---doesn't last or bear healthy fruit.
Schakspir already listed his "10 fantasy women" (I think 2 were black)---so he's a prime candidate for the type of PRO-Black shouting N-Zombie who
....USES insecure black women for sex, in lieu of "tagging" his Prized Melanin-deficient "Bitch".
How anyone could read their posts and not "peep" the content of their characters is beyond intelligence."
It's revealing, isn't it, how often Kola Boof repeats herself?
How long has it been now? Two years?
She should consider medications....I would start with Prozac. Better than any lousy nigger-man, isn't that right, KB?
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Shyfox
Newbie Poster
Username: Shyfox
Post Number: 5
Registered: 04-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, April 02, 2006 - 07:49 pm: |
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I'm not devoted to someone who does not respect me. |
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