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Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 338
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: 
Votes: 3 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 11:57 am: | 
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I was at a buffet restaurant yesterday and I noticed an older dark-skinned black woman and her husband sitting with a young Mexican woman. I caught bits and pieces of their conversation but I overheard the older black woman praising this Mexican chick because she gave her grandbabies some "good hair". I was so upset by this that I could hardly eat my food. What do you guys think? What should we do about this kind of self-hatred in the black community? |
Zuriburi
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 88
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: 
Votes: 2 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:11 pm: |
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Serenasailor. We can create, support and encourage art the creates human imagings of black people with dark skin and nappy hair.
We need to romanticize (?splng) Africanness and ancient African history. So that when we see African people we so our greatness, humanity and beauty.
P.S. I love the threads that you start Serenasailor. |
Zuriburi
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 89
Registered: 11-2005
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:18 pm: |
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I think that simply telling someone that they should love themselves is far less efffective than showing them themselves as worthy beings.
Because, unfortunately if you are not a independently thinking individual with some type of moral compass and courage you become
what the culture and/or your famly tell you that you are. |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 1924
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:30 pm: |
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You were sitting right there when they did it.
What did you do? |
Doberman23
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Doberman23
Post Number: 214
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 12:30 pm: |
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i think you will be skinny as hell if something like that can stop you from eating. you also should carry around a ipod since your so sensitive, then again i sport a jordan so i guess i can't say much about hair. ok that's my 2cents ... i know i could've kept it but oh well  |
Abm
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Abm
Post Number: 4463
Registered: 04-2004
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 03:05 pm: |
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Serenasailor,
I tell you. Once you start writing (and reading?) above the sixth grade level, your a$$ just might be dangerous. |
Mzuri
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Mzuri
Post Number: 209
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 03:18 pm: |
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I almost fell out of my chair when I read your post this morning. I can relate to your frustration but look at it this way. The in-laws didn't have much class to take the Mexican babimomma out for a burrito. You'd think that she deserves so much more for synthesizing our race, wouldn't you? And the girl isn't all that either if she let her ppl take her out to a Mexican restaurant. She could have made them some tacos and enchiladas right there at home. That way they could have had that conversation in private, and you could have eaten in peace. |
Renata
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Renata
Post Number: 848
Registered: 08-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 04:03 pm: |
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LOL, Serenasailor, that was quite stupid of them, but you're a little sensitive. |
Shemika
Newbie Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 17
Registered: 02-2006
Rating:
Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:08 pm: |
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I think it's sad how this racist self hatred among blacks is accepted as normal. Yet if you make derogatory comments about white features people (of all races) become infuriated or think you must have lost your mind, because after all, we’re all socialized to view white features as attractive and the norm. Being conscious and sensitive about these biases is the first step in combating them and training future generations not to pass such foolishness along. It’s well worth the investment, because the lack of sensitivity is the root of all forms of racial oppression.
I think Zuriburi is correct about romanticizing blackness, but the willful commitment of those in positions to do so is needed. Unfortunately, even most blacks producing movies and other widely seen art tend to have a strong preference for European features.
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Shemika
Newbie Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 18
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 05:11 pm: |
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I think it's sad how this racist self hatred among blacks is accepted as normal. Yet if you make derogatory comments about white features people (of all races) become infuriated or think you must have lost your mind, because after all, we’re all socialized to view white features as attractive and the norm. Being conscious and sensitive about these biases is the first step in combating them and training future generations not to pass such foolishness along. It’s well worth the investment, because the lack of sensitivity is the root of all forms of racial oppression.
I think Zuriburi is correct about romanticizing blackness, but the willful commitment of those in positions to do so is needed. Unfortunately, even most blacks producing movies and other widely seen art tend to have a strong preference for European features.
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Zuriburi
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 92
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 06:17 pm: |
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Yes Shemika, and while there are Black producers who create African images including
i.e. Julie Dash, these rare films are not supported by the black community. This is THE challenge.
And I don't know the answer.
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Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2055
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 06:31 pm: |
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Serenasailor, Zuriburi you guys are true heroes.
The black race might be saved because of men like you.
I notice that your kind is growing in numbers.
You give me hope..
thanks.
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Zuriburi
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 94
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 06:34 pm: |
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Tonya I'm a female.
But thanks though. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2056
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 06:49 pm: |
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Reneta:
LOL, Serenasailor, that was quite stupid of them, but you're a little sensitive.
Tonya:
Actually, Renata..
he's preparing you for a conversation that is SERIOUSLY about to blow up--I guarantee you, you won't be laughing.--he's doing y'all a HUGE favor. |
Tonya
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Tonya
Post Number: 2057
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 07:01 pm: |
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Zuriburi:
Tonya I'm a female.
But thanks though.
Tonya:
OOOh, girl, I'm glad you told me that before I pulled a Kola and developed a crush on your ass!!!
I was already fix'n to think of you as my Warrior Mandingo.. my King.... My bad.
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Zuriburi
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 95
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 07:02 pm: |
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ROTFLMAO!!!!!! |
Shemika
Newbie Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 19
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 07:06 pm: |
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Wow. I notice my post is there twice now, when I reposted it before it was because I thought it didn't take. It won't let me delete it now.
Zuriburi, many in the black community may not be aware of them because they are primarily exposed to whatever is main stream and are conformist. There needs to be more inventive ways of making that information available on a regular basis. It'd be nice if we could give it all the commercialism Euro centralism gets. But could you imagine the outcry from white addicted blacks and whites if for exa., predominately dark skinned women with natural hair texture were put on BET all the time? However, if presented right they would adapt.
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Zuriburi
AALBC .com Platinum Poster
Username: Zuriburi
Post Number: 96
Registered: 11-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 08:35 pm: |
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Yeah Shemika I think you're right, they would eventually adapt to a darkened image if is presented correctly. And that would be a start.
But, in order for this image to stick it can not be seen as an anomaly or passing fad. It needs to become a part of Black culture.
This would require a shift in thinking in all black institutions IMO. I have no clue as to how to do that. |
Shemika
Newbie Poster
Username: Shemika
Post Number: 21
Registered: 02-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, March 10, 2006 - 09:42 pm: |
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Black institutions should be the beginning. Sending our children to predominately black colleges and schools that aggressively promoted an overall Afro centric view and focus would be a good foundation. As well as positive reinforcements and focus in all black media outlets. Part of our children’s training needs to be on how to resist being indoctrinated into Eurocentricsm. But we first must have adult Afro centric blacks in a position to pass this information on. For example, someone like Kola could provide a wealth of information to educational institutions. |
Nels
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 305
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 12:16 am: |
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[What if] blacks who want(ed) to be identified with "black" (as defined by White America) and blacks who didn't want to be identified with "black" (as defined by Black America) just split camps, lived in their own worlds, didn't influence each other or any other group in any way, shape or form for that matter, etc... Would that really make a difference on anyone's perspective? In other words, if you looked beyond overt aggravation, agitation and discrimination, would "the rub" really exist? |
Roxie
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Roxie
Post Number: 725
Registered: 06-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 07:22 am: |
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Uh nels,
aren't those two groups basically the same people? |
Chrishayden
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Chrishayden
Post Number: 1933
Registered: 03-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 10:53 am: |
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Nels:
Yes. Because all those blacks who don't want to be identified as black keep feeling a need to comment and meddle because those that do are embarassing them in front of their white friends--or at least they think so.
And anyway it ain't black people of either persuasion who are making that decision. |
Cynique
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Cynique
Post Number: 4170
Registered: 01-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Saturday, March 11, 2006 - 11:19 am: |
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Nels, I think what you suggest is loosely what already exists. People gravitate toward individuals who they identify with and these associations grow into groups who go on to co-exist with other groups who are doing the same thing. How each group is seen by the other group doesn't always coincide with how the group sees itself. But, hey, this is America. There is unity in diversity, not to mention that the age old human tendency to harbor a dislike for the unlike continues to prevail. |
Brownbeauty123
Newbie Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 9
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 - 01:37 am: |
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There used to be a time when Black women were heavily represented in rap/R&B videos on BET-- going back to the 80s all the way up to about 95. There was a fair mixture of dark/brown/and light women. The lighter complected women still looked Black, at least to me.
If you look at one of Will Smith's old videos there was a darkskin lady as the lead girl--she plays on Soul Food now. I can't remember her name.
Black women started to appear less and less during the early phase of the latin explosion, and we haven't been back since, unfortunately.
Every now and then a rapper will respond to the 'complaints' of Black women who are speaking out against the favortism towards mullatto/latina women in videos-and put a darkskin chick as the lead to silence us for a minute. Only to immediately follow up to showcasing several dozens more scantily-clad Brazillian women on a beach/club.
A few years ago, models were complaining that Jay Z often discriminated against darkskin women by not putting them in his videos. I don't think Jay Z or anybody really cared--as usual. And to me, it's fairly obvious that Jay doesn't like dark women anyway; since his past exes were primarily lightskin/biracial. He even alludes to his love for redbones in some of his lyrics.
Rapper Bow Wow in Sister 2 Sister magazine stated that he only talks to 'dime pieces' and nothing less. Because he has a reputation to uphold, and if he's caught with a chick that ain't all that, it'll make him look bad. When asked what is a dime piece by the interviewer his answer, "Mya, Beyonce,...." and several other lightskin women. The lady who interviewed him noticed he was quite colorstruck, and asked him would he date a woman who looked like his mother (she's a darkskin Black woman), and his answer, "that's my moms, yo, and I don't look at her that way...". Bull$hit. I remember the lady discussing this on a local radio station, and basically just rubbed it off as him just being 'young' and 'naive'. So passive aggressive. These type of men hardly ever grow out of colorism--it usually goes with them into adulthood. I wish Black people would realize that.
I've briefly dated a guy years back who preferred lightskin women, and said that he'd settle for a 'dark or brown skin' girl. (This is a PC way to say he'd use them as a piece of a$$) He thought Jennifer lopez was the most beautiful woman in the whole friggin world. And made it clear that I couldn't or no Black woman could possibly compete with her in the looks department. And when I called him out on his color complex, I just got harassed and called, "dumb, stupid, envious, jealous" and every word in the book. He even got his friends on the phone to assist him in doing so. This is a common thing that a lot of Black guys do. I've been in so many situations where a Black guy will show me a picture of a high yellow or mulatto woman in a pinup magazine to make me feel inferior.
It's really hard to get Black men primarily to appreciate blackness in Black women. Most Black men hardly even notice how little Black women are in movies/videos--and the rest just do not care at all. They think that as long as the lightskin Black ones are being shown, that is good enough in itself. |
Nels
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Nels
Post Number: 307
Registered: 07-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 - 01:43 am: |
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Chris --
"Because all those blacks who don't want to be identified as black keep feeling a need to comment and meddle because those that do are embarassing them in front of their white friends"
Further clarification may beg on this one...
And "embarassing"? Think not...
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Libralind2
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Libralind2
Post Number: 332
Registered: 09-2004
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Sunday, March 12, 2006 - 08:15 am: |
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Read "Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome"(PTSS) Dr DeGruy Leary. In it Dr Leary describes what she calls "one of the most insidious and pervasive symptoms of PTSS and that is the adoption of the slave master's value system. At this value system's foundation is the belief that white, and all things associated with whiteness, are superior; and that black, and all things associated with blackness, are inferior. (Page 139). There is a lot more but Im sure you get the point. On page 140, she goes on to describe this hair "thing".
During slavery thick wavy hair was referred to as "good hair" and kinky hair was regulated to being "bad hair". Aynna Byrd and Lori Tharrps in their book "Hair Story: Untangling the roots of Black Hair in America". write
" Good hair was thought of as long and lacking in kink, tight curls and frizz. The straighter the better. Bad hair was the antithesis, namely African hair in it's purest form. White slave masters reinforced the "good haired", light skin power structure..At slave auctions they would pay almost five times more for a house slave than for a field slave, showing they were more valuable".
Thus began the socialization of blacks to believe that dark skin and kinky hair were attributes to be loathed.
LiLi |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 340
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 03:23 pm: |
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Serenasailor,
I tell you. Once you start writing (and reading?) above the sixth grade level, your a$$ just might be dangerous.
Thank You but I am in college so I past the sixth grade. Anyhow, go to my other thread so you can spew all of the insults you want. This is a serious thread meant for a serious converstation. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 341
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 03:25 pm: |
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LOL, Serenasailor, that was quite stupid of them, but you're a little sensitive.
Maybe I am a little bit sensitive but I find it hard to believe that alot of black people still feel this way. Like my brother. I swear that has got to be the most COLORSTRUCK negro on the planet. |
Serenasailor
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Serenasailor
Post Number: 342
Registered: 01-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Monday, March 13, 2006 - 03:35 pm: |
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What happened Brownbeauty was that rap started getting marketed to the white middle class. As a result they started using lyrics that white folks wanted to her. They started putting girls in that white men wanted to see. As a result that is why rap is the way it is today. Rap is so commercialized now that it is often seen as corperate music. Meaning that these are the song that white music execs listen to .
And Brownsbeauty your ex-boyfriend sounds like a "nigger". I think that is the problem you black girls keep settling for niggers, when you should be looking for "proud black men". |
Brownbeauty123
Newbie Poster
Username: Brownbeauty123
Post Number: 13
Registered: 03-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 01:43 pm: |
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I have an experience to share.
Last year during the summer, while I was on my lunch break there was a White lady seated a table with a biracial daughter (half black) who was loudly teasing her daughter for having nappy hair.
She first touched her daughter's hair and said, "your hair never stays neat. i just got it done for you and it's already messed up. you got nappy hair." And then she proceeded to say it outloud over and over again, "your hair is so nappy. you got nappy, nappy hair. you got nappy hair." She went on this childish and immature rant for quite a while. No wonder so many biracial kids hate their African heritage; here you have a white mom teasing a little girl outloud in public about how nappy (inferior) her hair is.
I've seen that woman a few times before, since I work in customer service. Some of those times she was with Black female friends/associates so I conclude that she picked up on this nappy hair/good hair standards from them. |
Kola_boof
"Cyniquian" Level Poster
Username: Kola_boof
Post Number: 1853
Registered: 02-2005
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, March 14, 2006 - 02:10 pm: |
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BrownBeauty,
I wish that more Black Americans would buy my book "Diary of a Lost Girl"-----so that you would begin to KNOW what nappy hair is.
It is the Proof and the Crown of God's chosen people.
You're probably right in your belief that White Women like the mother you just mentioned, learned to degrade African hair from observing Black people and their contempt and embarrassment about their hair.
Most Whites, upon first encountering Afican hair, are in awe and curiosity about black hair. They immediately notice how unique and special it is---because they don't possess it.
It wasn't until I went to England as a little girl (and later the U.S.) that I was confronted by people who HATE African hair----and every single one of them was a little Black CHILD from dark black parents.
I have written a wealth of information about our racial bloodberry---our worth, inate goodness and what our characteristics mean----but it's all in books, and not spreading.
The Cushite Myth passed down by our Great Fathers like Kashta and Piankhy adequately explains why our hair is the....the one true hair.
But I notice that Black Americans especially don't like to hear from ancestors. They believe that past is inferior to the future---when in reality, the two are mirror images, shaped and molded by each other.
Your ancestor King Kashta said:
"There is no such thing...as the past, the present and the future. For they all three...simultaneous."
I teach this to my sons. What their MEN FOLK said, when they were kings--when they were free--when they ruled themselves. I don't understand what kind of woman doesn't teach her son who he is and what his responsiblity is to his father's journey. One foot should follow the father's greatness.
It's up to the mother to give birth to the new son.
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