    
H_i_c_k_s_o_n
Newbie Poster
Username: H_i_c_k_s_o_n
Post Number: 24
Registered: 05-2006
Rating: N/A
Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Tuesday, December 12, 2006 - 01:04 pm: | 
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Kai Toussaint is a young, gorgeous, cold-blooded teenaged girl with great ambitions of running the entire New York City drug empire. She has a taste for the fast life and a heart that’s too jaded for a young lady. Through chance encounters, Kai links with the city’s top players, ones who enables this feisty girl to live a dangerous lifestyle.
Fear isn’t a part of her vocabulary, as Kai lives life to the fullest while taking great risks. Hypnotizing men as she uses them, Kai has absolutely no regrets—getting everything she wants by any means necessary. But is everything too much for Kai when she gets caught up in a web of deceit, tainted love, murder and the strict codes of the street?
Take an adventurous journey with Kai from the back streets of South Jamaica, Queens to Mafioso territory in Jersey, to sunny Florida and to the jungles of Jamaica, West Indies, as you witness her courageous act of invincibility manifest itself into a twisted dilemma, one that Kai never saw coming; as she fights to stay on top in her quest to be HARDER.
“SHA BOOGIE!!! SHA-SHA: SHA BOOGIE!!! SHA BOOGIE!!! SHA-SHA: SHA BOOGIE!!! SHA BOOGIE!!! SHA-SHA: SHA BOOGIE!!!”
Excerpts from HARDER by S H A
A GHETTOHEAT® PRODUCTION
prologue
Gasp…
Breathe.
My eyes open slowly as the piercing pain at the back of my head overwhelms me.
Where am I?
My head feels light.
Have I been slipping in and out of consciousness?
Strange.
Somewhere nearby, there’s water dripping. Every drop makes the pain in my head worst.
Wherever this is, it’s hot and I’m wet. I can smell Wrays and Nephew rum, Calli weed and Guinness Stout in the air.
No, Stout is on me.
The over-proof rum and weed?
…Rippa’s infamous signature.
Shit.
Things are becoming clear.
Damn you Rippa. Damn you to Hell!
I can hear Luciano playing in the background so I know that you’re around here somewhere. What I don’t know is where I am or why I can’t seem to move. I just wish it wasn’t so dark in here. Maybe if I call for him: “RIPPA!”
My vocal chords move, but my lips don’t.
Shit!
My lips are taped!
What the fuck is going on?
Ok. Think. Think, baby girl. The last thing I can remember…is…getting ready to leave New Jersey for a little getaway before my son was born. I’ve been hiding out for the past several months, and Nicky thought it would be good for AJ and I to go on a little vacation in Puerto Rico.
Arturo, sweet loving Arturo Jesus. I put that man through Hell and back. I know that. But, I’ve cleaned up my act and were going to be one big happy—
Fuck!
Where’s AJ?
My mouth is taped and I’m bound to a hard-ass mattress.
Holy shit—noooooo!
Rippa must be holding me hostage, but how?
He did promise this.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
spring of ‘97
Things couldn’t have gotten any better. I’d just turned 18, and everybody with a dick was hooked on my ass. Even those dyke-broads tried to holla, but whatever!
Wherever I went, my name rang bells. A hood-legend, as they call it, I was the most wanted female out here without a care in the world.
I was the shit!
* * * * *
“I’m just so damn fly with my long, light-brown hair that falls right above my butt, to my sexy-ass shape! Not to forget, my pretty-colored shifting eyes and caramel complexion.
HUMPH!
There ain’t a chick in New York, let alone Queens, that’s hotter than me! The only one to even come close is my ace-boom, Shelly; Shelly Wakes.
“We’re the same sign, got the same body type, and everything. Only differences are she’s quiet, humble and like dark-skinned cats. I’m all about the limelight, confident and only stay with the light-skinned, Al B. Sure-looking brothers! But Shelly’s pretty much down for whatever.”
Whatever!
“Kai! Kai…um, are you done with ya little monologue? I can almost see the words written on your forehead while you’re over there making goo-goo eyes at yaself in the mirror. You’re so damn narcissistic and vain.”
“Oh please, Shelly, quit bugging! I ain’t making ‘goo-goo’ eyes at myself.”
Damn!
I always had to wonder about Shelly always trying to break up my vibe. “Come on, Shells. Hillcrest is about to get out and I’m trying to check for dude that was at that party.”
“What dude? Jordan Richardson? Gurrrlll! Quit bugging! For starters, you know damn well every chick across the county wants a piece of him. Second, you’re only digging him because he’s sitting on old money. What you really need to do is figure out if you’re going to Baruch College in the fall or not and stop chasing dollars. School is what you really need to be worried about.”
I contemplated punching Shelly in her eye for trying to play me. Jordan Richardson was official!
“Aye, dog, for real-for real, there’s more to it than that, yo. Dude is crazy-fly, just like me. Let’s be honest, everybody knows that I’m the only chick around these parts that makes his perfect match.
“He and I are cut from the same cloth. You watch and see me become Mrs. Richardson one day!” After all, I was the flyest thing walking! “Besides, I’m through with school. What is there left to learn except how to make money. I don’t need school for that.”
Shelly never understood the thing I had for Jordan. She said, “So what are you going to say to Jordan if you see him today?” Shelly always countered with some good questions. “We might as well talk about him since attending college is a dead issue for you.”
What was college really good for? They charged you outrageous amounts of money for textbooks and tuition, and for what?
Nothing!
As for Jordan, I didn’t know what to say to “Mr. So Damn Fly.” I never did, but Shelly wouldn’t know that.
“Ma, I won’t have to say a damn thing! He’ll take one look at me and know exactly what’s up! YA HEARD?”
Jordan Richardson was like a rainbow that broke in the middle of a summertime thunderstorm, bringing sunshine and singing birds. Yeah, yeah, I know that sounds like somebody’s poetry, but if you saw him, he would make you feel the same exact way.
He stood about 6’2”, 210 pounds, solid muscle with a dulce de leche complexion. He drove a ‘95 Acura Legend that was black-on-black and had shiny chrome wheels.
Most other seniors in high school were driving ‘hoopties’ if they were even driving at all. I swore everytime he passed by me, I heard Sade’s Sweetest Taboo playing in the background while his Nautica cologne intoxicated me. He was too good of a catch for me to pass up.
“You know what, Shells, forget him.” For years I tried to. I tried not to give him the satisfaction of having me go out of my mind like the other females.
Whatever!
That day, I was eager to explore my options. The options on a warm Friday afternoon would either be on Jamaica Avenue or at Green Acres Mall.
“Yo, Shelly, let’s just go up to Jamaica Avenue. I need to pick up some ‘54-11s’, and if I see him, I see him. But if I don’t, his loss and some next dude’s gain.”
Shelly replied, “Baby girl, you are wild! You know damn well that you’re too scared to say anything to him. Besides I ain’t got no dough for The Ave.”
Come on, who did Shelly think she was talking to? Money was never a cause for worry, especially back then. I had been working at McDonald’s for about three months and got monetary gifts from my little admirers on a regular basis. You couldn’t put ‘Kai’, ‘money’, and ‘problem’ in the same sentence.
That was unheard of!
“Shelly, you need some ‘54-11s’, too, because them Jordan’s you have on are looking tired as hell. Think of it as a belated birthday present. I got enough to cover several pairs of sneakers; so what’s really good?” Her broke-ass had to go at that point. Who passed up free kicks? Not big foot Shelly.
When we got to Jamaica Avenue, it was nothing but a whole bunch of high school kids out there. It was the first warm day of the year so everybody was out. Damn. Maybe I should’ve waited for another day when all those wack-ass females wouldn’t have been in attendance.
We’d just gotten off the Q5 bus and I could already feel the hate raining down hard on me and Shelly. Well, mostly me. I was used to it. Fuck it—we were already there. I figured that we might as well deal with it.
Not five minutes went by before drama introduced itself.
“Bitch thinks she’s just so fly…but let me see her try to act cute with a bubble.” It was this girl from Springfield named, Rhazza. She had a bad temper and looked like a man. Rhazza hated my ass ever since I moved to Rosedale. For what reason? I don’t know.
She was a sad story.
To think Rhazza was about five years older than me (still in high school), but would still try to punk me on a regular basis. I made that day the final day she would ever try to disrespect me, or anybody else for that matter.
“Fuck is you talking to, you Magilla Guerilla-looking-type-bitch? You better go ‘head with that bullshit!” I came back at her with fury in my voice and confidence in my swagger.
Rhazza got in my face.
“Oh word? You’s a hard rock now? You forget who the fuck I am? I’ma take that switch out ya walk fa good, ya lil’ bitch!”
As she said that, I quickly ducked her approaching right jab. “Rhazza, go home to ya baby, I’m really not tryna’ fuck wit’ you today.” I was never one to pass up on a good fight. However, I wasn’t about to let Jordan see me acting less than lady-like.
Rhazza persisted.
“Fuck you, Kai. I’m about tired of ya bullshit!” The next thing I knew, she pulled out a metal baseball bat and started swinging it at me. A crowd started to form around us. They were clearly in favor of her beating me down mercilessly.
Being outnumbered, I pulled out my mace: “Yo, dumb-dumb…take this!”
I sprayed it dead in her eyes and she started screaming, “Bitch, I’ma kill you! I’m blind, I’m blind.” Mace should just be called ‘bitch spray’. It turned the hardest individuals into suckers on impact.
Rhazza lost her balance and stumbled onto Archer Avenue with both of her hands covering her eyes. Too bad for her, a N4 bus was quickly approaching. It hit her dead on. She never saw it coming; she never had a chance.
Problem solved.
fuck you, pay me
When I finally arrived back home, Tony was heated. I didn’t even realize I was out that long.
“Where the fuck you been, Kai?!” he yelled as I walked through the door.
“I went to the range and then shopping. I had a lot on my mind to clear and I just needed to get away. Damn, is there a law against that?”
“Nah, ain’t no law, shorty! Just watch yaself, cuz if I finds out different, we gonna have major problems.”
Tony was taking on a “Rico” tone with me that I did not like whatsoever.
“Who the fuck is you talking to, Tony? I know it ain’t me. Ya better keep that shit in ya back pocket before you come at me with it.”
I had never seen Tony like this before, and it made me very upset. I knew I had to calm down, before I said something that I would live to regret.
“Oh word? It’s like that, Kai? Fuck you forget or something? This here is my house! I’m the star, baby girl! You used to be the co-star, but now you just another fucking spectator! Show over, get the fuck out!”
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse!
“Get the fuck out? You get mad over some bullshit and now it’s ‘get the fuck out’? Tony, think about that shit for a minute.” I started talking slowly and softly. “I’m ya ‘co-star’ alright, but do you know what that means? …It means, everything you own, I own. All the work you put in, I put in, too.
“You forget who sees over the cooks and make sure ya deliveries are made on time? That’s me, motherfucker. You sure you wanna have me running the street with all ya info, baby boy?”
That weird laugh echoed out of me again. This time, it set Tony off. He grabbed me by my throat, and threw me into the hard brick wall! When I hit the floor, Tony started to strangle me as he screamed, “BABY BOY?! BABY BOY? HUH? YOU FUCK THAT NIGGA?! HUH?! DON’T YOU EVA IN YA LIFE CALL ME ‘BABY BOY’ AGAIN, YOU FUCKING SLUT!”
Tony let go, and I hit the floor again. It took all the air I had in me, but I managed.
“Tony-I-ain’t-fuckin’-nobody!”
“Oh word? You come in here acting brand-new, and you ain’t fucking nobody? We’ll see!”
Tony then picked me up by my waist and ripped my jeans off. He proceeded to remove my panties. I didn’t know what Tony was up to, until he threw me onto the couch. Tony then spread my legs wide-open, as he stuck three fingers in me at the same time.
I screamed in pain…
Tony bowed his head in regret.
“I’m sorry, Kai,” was all that he said, before Tony left the house for the night. I laid there until he came back early the next day. When Tony walked in the house, I’d pretended to be asleep, as he started to play with my hair.
“Kai, I hope you’re listening to me. You know shit’s been kinda hard since Five Points. You know it’s hard knowing that I can’t make love to you. I be seeing how dudes look at you and shit. I know your type, ma, you got the sex drive of a 18-year-old man.”
I stifled a giggle.
“I just be thinking when you’re gone, you out there getting the only thing I can’t give you. I know you’ve been on my side since I came back home, but I still be bugging. You’re a trooper, baby and that’s why I love you. Please don’t leave me—I need you. All this shit, is ‘cause of you. I know that, ma-ma; I love you.”
That became my driving force. The man that ran Queens needed me. It’s true that behind every great man, was a great woman. I wanted to go down in history as being the greatest.
Tony would be my link to the city. I already had him in my back pocket, so that meant I had Queens in my back pocket! All I needed was the other four boroughs to fall in line.
Sure, I would step on some toes, but I would stand to be retired at twenty-five—with enough money to finance my life, for the rest of my life. AJ was right, but I had a point to prove, and money to make! After that was done, I would be game to anything else.
I started stashing away as much money as I could. I told Tony that I would no longer sleep at his house, since he put his hands on me.
Tony begged for me not to.
Instead, we came to the “agreement” that, I would only sleep over two or three nights out of the week, and I had to be on his payroll.
Tony agreed.
Every Friday morning, I got five-thousand in cash.
I never put it in the bank.
I used some of it as pocket money, and had my checks from work directly deposited in my bank account every Thursday. I used my work money to pay my bills and other expenses. I didn’t want to give “Uncle Sam” a reason to start sniffing up my ass! Instead, I hid the money that Tony gave me in my bedroom closet at my father’s house.
My game plan was clear: I would be the Queen-of-the-NYC drug empire.
I had Tony do all of the dirty work, and I stopped managing the cooks. I became his silent partner, so to speak. With a little coaching from me, and a lot of strong-arming, Tony could definitely have a heavy hand in the other boroughs.
In case the Feds were watching, I had a sound-proof alibi:
I was a student…
I worked full-time, and I lived at home with my pops.
Technically.
The only way I would be fucked was if they ever wanted to search my father’s crib. Tony never came to my house, so I doubt that would ever happen.
get down or lay down
I was really feeling myself after I put Rico’s car in the lake. That was, until I arrived at work the next day. As soon as I got there, I saw him reading the Dupont Registry of Fine Cars, right in the front area of the store.
My heart dropped into my stomach. I made a beeline to the backroom and pleaded with my boss to let me work back there with her, so I wouldn’t have to face Rico.
Not even looking at me she said, “Kai, you’re my only cashier tonight and Larry needs to take his lunch break. Sorry, but I need you out there.”
I wanted to punch her in her face. I had a madman in the building and my boss acted as if it were nothing. She continued going through the paperwork on her desk, not even giving me the opportunity to express why I couldn’t be on the sales floor that night.
I walked head on into Rico, just as I left the backroom.
“Where’s my car, you little bitch?” he spoke loud enough only for me to hear.
I was about to lose my bladder.
“Um, in the lake.”
My voice quivered nervously.
Rico’s face turned beet-red.
“The lake? You put a $300,000 car in the lake? What lake?”
I smoothed out the imaginary wrinkles in my skirt.
“The one in Brookville Park.”
“You mean to tell me that you put my car into—” Rico stopped in the middle of his sentence. Nassau County’s finest had just walked in. They frequented my store on a regular basis, and I was never happier to see them.
At that, Rico left and I thought I was in the clear. That was until the mall closed.
When I left the store that night, “Sticks” was waiting for me right by the escalators.
“Rico is going to kick your ass,” “Sticks” sang. “How the fuck did you steal his car?” I guess Rico hadn’t told “Sticks” that he left his keys in plain sight.
“And I should kick your ass for getting all up in my face ‘Sticks’. Damn, go somewhere with yourself.” I waved her off and proceeded towards the doors.
“Yeah, I will, bitch, and guess what? You’re coming with me. Rico’s outside!”
I could feel my dinner easing back up when “Sticks” said that. I still had to put on the tough-girl façade. “I ain’t got shit to say to that nigga!”
“But I got shit to say to you, bitch!” It was Rico.
I held the façade steady as I replied, “Rico, I already told you where the car is. Now be a good boy and go fetch.”
Just as I said that, Rico smacked me to the floor. Mall security pretended like they didn’t see a thing.
“Get the fuck up, we going for a ride!” Rico snatched me up and dragged me out of the mall. He threw me in the back of a Ford Explorer. “Sticks” sat right next to me, and offered me some coke.
I didn’t even know she was an addict.
“You’re gonna need this. You better be grateful that I’m giving you something now to ease the pain that’s about to come.”
“Fuck you, ‘Sticks’!”
This bitch thought I was junkie just like her. I’d spat in “Sticks’” beady eye, as soon as I began to recover from the sting of Rico’s hand against my face.
I didn’t know what he had planned. Whatever it was, I had psyched myself up to take it. I made a vow that night to never bow out without a fight.
Defeat would never be an option!
We weren’t driving all that long when the truck stopped. Rico, “Sticks” and I were now back in Far Rockaway. It then took both Rico and Diego to get me out of the car.
“Sticks” watched on.
As the two men dragged me out kicking and screaming, I noticed that the street sign read: “Shorefront Parkway”.
The four of us went inside one of the buildings, and they brought me to the roof. Rico had me by my hair.
“You and your funky, little attitude, like you can’t get killed, bitch! Since you wanna act like you’re untouchable and shit, stealing my car, I wanna see if you can fly, too, you fucking bird!”
He accidentally released his grip, Rico tried to grab me up again, but this time, I managed to break free.
“Oh word, nigga? You wanna see if I can fly?” Madness took over me. If I had to die, I wanted to die honorably. I started to back over to the edge of the roof slowly. “…Over some car that you ain’t even buy, Rico? For real-for real, you gonna tell me that you got that off the lot? Nigga, please! Wanna see me fly? …Aight then. Watch me fly!”
I wasn’t about to plead for my life.
I spread out my arms and began to fall backwards off the rooftop; Rico then grabbed me by my belt.
“You’re one crazy little bitch. But don’t think ya little stunt got you off the hook, you’re still going to pay for dumping my car in the lake.”
I replied, “FUCK YOU, RICO!” as I tried to walk back to the doors that led away from the roof. I thought about mentioning the fact that Rico had eaten me out the night before in front of “Sticks”, but then decided against it.
I was pleased that I hadn’t been thrown off of the roof; my cockiness surfaced.
“In case you need me to say it, I ain’t scared of you, pendejo sucio! You can kiss my ass!”
Rico scoffed, “Fuck you, Kai.”
Then, a shot rang out…
“Sticks” screamed.
I displayed the ultimate cockiness: “You missed, bitch!”
Rico didn’t miss completely.
He grazed my left arm and it stung like hell! I saw enough gunshot wounds among Tony’s boys to know that I would live.
So I orchestrated my exit.
While everyone was recovering from the shock of accidental gunfire, I walked through the roof’s doors, leaving a light trail of blood behind me. Rico must’ve been stunned because he didn’t follow to finish me off.
Somehow, I managed to walk all the way up to a nearby park and called Shelly from a dirty pay phone.
Thank God she was available.
“Hey ma, it’s me, Kai. I need you to come and get me, fast.”
“Where the fuck you at?”
“Far Rock, nigga!”
“But, I don’t know my way to—”
I had to cut Shelly off.
“Just hop on Snake Road. Take it to Rockaway Turnpike and make a left. You’ll go through several lights before you see the sign for the Nassau Expressway. Take that. You’ll end on Beach Channel Drive. Take it all the way down to Rockaway Parkway and make a left. Come quick, yo!”
About an hour later, Shelly finally showed up. I managed to stop the bleeding by tying the wound tight with a piece of my shirt that I ripped off. Shelly threw up as soon as she saw that I was covered in blood.
“What the fuck happened to you, Kai?”
“I fell. No time for questions, Shells. We need to bounce off The Rock, like now.”
Shelly was scared as shit, so I ended up driving back to her spot in Cambria Heights with my one good arm. All the while, checking to make sure we weren’t being followed.
Shelly’s mom was a nurse, so all the first aid shit I needed was right there at her house. The amount of blood on my clothes made the wound seem a lot worse than it was. Shelly kept flapping her gums as I bandaged it up.
“Kai, are you going to tell me what happened?”
“Yeah, but not tonight.”
I had so many things running through my head at that point that I didn’t want to talk. I was shocked and amazed about what happened on the roof. Rico seriously began acting like a madman. Why didn’t he just kill me for his stupid car? I showed heart in spite of fear, and that caught Rico off-guard.
“I’M SUCH A FUCKIN’ LADY!”
ADELE GIVENS, DEF COMEDY JAM
SHA is the First Lady of GHETTOHEAT®, an 80s baby born in Brooklyn who grew up in Queens. In 2006, SHA attained her Bachelors of Science degree in Psychology and is currently working towards her Masters. Writing has always been SHA’s way of dealing with life, penning poetry since the age of nine.
SHA recently tried her hand at fiction, growing tired of the monotonous titles that filled the African-American section of the bookstore where she worked at. Proudly representing for young women within the inner-city, being a creative force who speaks directly to her generation, SHA is currently working on the sequel to her suspenseful novel, HARDER.
To mail comments or questions to SHA, send all correspondence to:
GHETTOHEAT®
P.O. BOX 2746
NEW YORK, NY 10027
ATTENTION: SHA
or e-mail her at: SHA@GHETTOHEAT.COM
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